The Artist

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0:00:38 > 0:00:41HEAVY BREATHING

0:01:11 > 0:01:14DOORBELL RINGS

0:01:17 > 0:01:20DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN

0:01:55 > 0:01:58- This your artwork, is it?- Sorry, mate, got to go.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00You're going nowhere, mate.

0:02:00 > 0:02:01Whatever!

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Ah, there you are.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Jed. What's happened?

0:02:09 > 0:02:10Nothing's happened.

0:02:10 > 0:02:14Zara's given me a list of various things she needs, clothes and so on.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Well, why don't give me ten minutes to freshen up?

0:02:16 > 0:02:19If you don't mind, I'd like to get this over with.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25Sorry, the place is a bit of a mess.

0:02:25 > 0:02:26Yeah, I noticed.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28She's given me fairly detailed instructions,

0:02:28 > 0:02:31- so it shouldn't take long.- Well, why don't I go through the list,

0:02:31 > 0:02:33and you could pop round the corner and get a coffee.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35There's no need. I'm perfectly capable of...

0:02:35 > 0:02:37DOOR CLOSES

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Have you got someone with you?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42- No. Of course not.- Morning. So that'll be four hundred...

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Oh, I can explain.

0:02:46 > 0:02:47Don't bother!

0:02:52 > 0:02:55How about we go through to my office, and discuss the cleaning bill.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57- I don't think so.- OK, we'll call the police.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01No, I'm really sorry. Please don't call the police.

0:03:01 > 0:03:02Aaargh!

0:03:03 > 0:03:04Oi!

0:03:10 > 0:03:12I'm really sorry if I messed things up for you.

0:03:12 > 0:03:13Don't worry.

0:03:13 > 0:03:14Was that your dad?

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Just go, please.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Right. I'm off.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Look, I know this doesn't look good,

0:03:33 > 0:03:36but I've been under a lot of stress at work recently.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Yes, I used to suffer from stress. That's why I took up fishing.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41But I suppose we all have different methods.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43- But I...- Don't waste your breath.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47You know, I kept telling Zara she should give you another chance.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Now I realise she had a lucky escape.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Sometimes I wonder what the world is coming to.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02Well, maybe not the whole world, just a few bad eggs.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06It only takes one rotten egg to ruin the whole pavlova.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Mrs Tembe, I can't really wear this shirt.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Is there anything in lost property?

0:04:10 > 0:04:14It is not Savile Row, but I will take a look.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16You know, what gets me is that he felt free

0:04:16 > 0:04:18to splatter me with paint,

0:04:18 > 0:04:21yet if I'd laid one finger on him I'd have been arrested

0:04:21 > 0:04:23for assaulting a minor.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26Well, if I saw him, believe me,

0:04:26 > 0:04:30I know many ways to bring a young man to submission.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33If you see him, I very much hope you tell me first.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35If you say so.

0:04:35 > 0:04:36Now...

0:04:36 > 0:04:41This is the only garment that I could find that is in your...

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Size.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Morning, Mrs Tembe!

0:04:53 > 0:04:58Yes... Good morning, good morning, Dr Clay!

0:04:58 > 0:05:00Well, I suppose it'll have to do.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03I'm not surprised whoever left it didn't return for it.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06There was an incident involving a young man with a paintball gun

0:05:06 > 0:05:07and an aerosol.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Morning!

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Nobody told me it was dress down Friday.

0:05:11 > 0:05:12Who was he?

0:05:12 > 0:05:15I don't know. Just some random, feral youth.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17- That's not very helpful. - What?

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Calling young people feral. They are people after all.

0:05:20 > 0:05:24Of course! I didn't realise you were all for hugging hoodies.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27I wouldn't go as far as that, but with all the problems in the world -

0:05:27 > 0:05:30broken families, cyberbullying - a lot of young people

0:05:30 > 0:05:32have very hard lives.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34Well, thank goodness I was around for him

0:05:34 > 0:05:35to express his creativity on.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Morning!

0:05:42 > 0:05:43How was last night?

0:05:43 > 0:05:45- What?- You and Daniel?

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Oh yeah, yeah, it was great. Had a right laugh.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14VOICEMAIL: Hi, this is Zara Carmichael.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29PHONE RINGS

0:06:29 > 0:06:30Hello?

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Daniel, Howard.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Oh, yes.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36- Where are you?- Erm...

0:06:36 > 0:06:38I'm so sorry...

0:06:38 > 0:06:40I must have lost track of time.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42That's no excuse! I need you here pronto.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Yes, of course. Yep.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57Typical.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Well, I'm sorry, but I've never heard of him.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Mum, he's Kingsley Apollo. He's like the next Damien Hirst.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14Oh, right! And who's he when he's at home?

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Oh, Karen. You don't know who Damien Hirst is?

0:07:17 > 0:07:20He's only one of the foremost pioneers of the Brit Art movement,

0:07:20 > 0:07:24famous for his pickled shark and dissected sheep.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26She showed me on Wikipedia.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28So what are you going to be doing?

0:07:28 > 0:07:32He hasn't said, but I think that he wants me to do some modelling.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36Oh wow! You could be like the Mona Lisa.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38In years to come, you could be on biscuit tins.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40How can you work for him, and go to art school?

0:07:40 > 0:07:42I thought you wanted to get some qualifications under your belt.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45I can still do both. And in this industry personal contact

0:07:45 > 0:07:47is much more important,

0:07:47 > 0:07:49and this is a great chance for me to get some hands-on experience.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Yeah, it's where this Kingsley puts his hands that worries me.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54I knew you'd be like this!

0:07:54 > 0:07:57You're so small-minded, and petty, and bourgeois!

0:07:57 > 0:08:00Hey, I never knew I was bourgeois.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Why do you have to be such a wet blanket?

0:08:02 > 0:08:04She's got the chance to work with a local artist.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Oh... Right, that's why you're so keen?

0:08:09 > 0:08:11- What?- Working with a local artist?

0:08:11 > 0:08:14You think she might stay in Letherbridge?

0:08:14 > 0:08:15I don't know, could be.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Yeah, well, I've met this bloke,

0:08:17 > 0:08:20and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24No surprise there. But can we at least go to this thing tonight,

0:08:24 > 0:08:25show support?

0:08:25 > 0:08:28I fully intend to.

0:08:28 > 0:08:29KNOCK AT DOOR

0:08:29 > 0:08:30Come in!

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Ah, Dr Cassidy! What can I do you for?

0:08:33 > 0:08:37I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I seemed unsympathetic earlier.

0:08:37 > 0:08:38What are you doing?

0:08:38 > 0:08:40I found this.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43That little...useful member of society left his phone behind.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45I was hoping to find his contact details,

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- and maybe get in touch with his parents.- I see.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50And you may find this interesting.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52- What is it?- It's a gallery.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55Of all his glorious graffiti.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01He's put his tag on half of Letherbridge.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04No doubt you think that it's vital self-expression.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06I do, actually.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09I'm not saying I approve, but graffiti can be a young person's

0:09:09 > 0:09:13way of stamping their identity on a landscape they may find hostile.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15But is it art?

0:09:16 > 0:09:19MUSIC: "Strange News From The Other Star" by Blur

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Oi mate, what are you doing?!

0:09:34 > 0:09:35Go on, get lost!

0:09:40 > 0:09:41Don't you stare at me!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47What's going on?

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Some little vandal's just sprayed his crud

0:09:49 > 0:09:52all over my rear entrance.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54You can say it was a guest work of art.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56I don't think anybody would pay six million quid for that, do you?

0:09:56 > 0:09:58I'm sure that no-one will see it.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02I don't think you realise how much this means to me.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04I gave blood, sweat and tears to buy this place.

0:10:06 > 0:10:10I mean Blood, Sweat and Tears, the sculpture I sold to Tate Modern.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12I saw that! The one of a little boy crying,

0:10:12 > 0:10:15- made from your own bodily fluids. - Mhmm.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17That's right. And that little boy was me.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19You know, I'm crying for all the critics who said

0:10:19 > 0:10:21I wouldn't make it.

0:10:21 > 0:10:26All those teachers who said, "Stop dreaming."

0:10:27 > 0:10:30That's why you must never stop dreaming.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Promise me that, Imogen.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36That you'll never give up your dream.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Is everything all right, Mr Bellamy?

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Not exactly, no.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48I've just been on the phone to the father

0:10:48 > 0:10:51- of our little painter and decorator. - What did he say?

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Well, I can't tell you the exact words, but essentially he told me

0:10:53 > 0:10:55to Foxtrot Oscar.

0:10:55 > 0:10:56I am appalled.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59This whole country is going to hell in a handcart.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Well, we can try and pull it back from the brink.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05But thanks to our database, I've managed to find out where he lives.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07So I think it's time for a home visit.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10So, let me know if you have any problems with the medication.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Otherwise, I'll see you in six weeks.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Oi, oi! Who's the dirty stop-out?

0:11:16 > 0:11:17What?

0:11:17 > 0:11:20So, what's it like being young, free and back on the love train?

0:11:20 > 0:11:22What's it like to be a walking cliche?

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Sorry, mate, I was only trying to be friendly.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28Yeah, well, I decided to upgrade my circle of friends.

0:11:28 > 0:11:29Nice knowing you.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39PHONE RINGS

0:11:42 > 0:11:43Hello?

0:11:43 > 0:11:46Doctor Granger, it's Sarah here from Wonderkids Toys.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50- Yes?- You ordered a junior activity gym from us six weeks ago.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Do you remember?

0:11:52 > 0:11:53Oh...

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Well, it's in stock now, so we just wondered

0:11:55 > 0:11:58when you were going to come and collect it?

0:11:58 > 0:12:02I'll collect it soon, thank you.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09I don't know what's got into him.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Well, he has just lost his son and his girlfriend.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15So you'd think he'd want to hold onto the few friends he's got left.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17Yeah, I think he's finding it tough.

0:12:17 > 0:12:18He's a survivor. He'll pull through.

0:12:24 > 0:12:25All right, mate.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Mr Potts. We spoke on the phone earlier.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31Howard Bellamy, Mill Health Centre.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34- Get lost.- Not till I've given you this bill for your son's activities.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37- What?!- Dry cleaning £20. Damage to wall £50.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40I also think we should talk about your son's welfare.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43You are not getting one penny of my money!

0:12:47 > 0:12:48That's what you think.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Hiya, tenner, was it?

0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Yes.- There you go.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57- Cheers.- Cheers.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08- There you go, mate.- Thanks.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Now we can talk about your son's behaviour over pizza.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21I've got nothing to say to you!

0:13:21 > 0:13:23OK. Do you want me to call the police or Social Services?

0:13:23 > 0:13:25I don't give a monkey's.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28I couldn't care if he poured paint all over your poxy medical practice.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30I see.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Have you got a problem with the Mill Health Centre?

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Yeah.

0:13:34 > 0:13:35You murdered my wife.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40KNOCK AT DOOR

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Come in.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Hey. How's it going?

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- How's what going? - You know...stuff.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Eh... What do you think?!

0:13:51 > 0:13:55I know things are bad, but do you fancy going out for a drink tonight?

0:13:55 > 0:13:57I'm not in the mood for your bromance, thank you.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Look, I know how you must be feeling.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03How can you possibly know how I feel?

0:14:04 > 0:14:06Because if anything happened to Cherry, I'd be devastated.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09Don't compare Cherry to Zara!

0:14:09 > 0:14:13Zara is a woman. Princess Pinky is an inflatable doll.

0:14:13 > 0:14:17You only married her because you couldn't face up to somebody actually challenging you.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19So why don't you go home and give her a good seeing to,

0:14:19 > 0:14:22create a couple of android kids,

0:14:22 > 0:14:24because that's the only thing that's going to save your marriage.

0:14:26 > 0:14:27Wow.

0:14:29 > 0:14:30OK...

0:14:31 > 0:14:33I came in here because I wanted to help,

0:14:33 > 0:14:35but if you're going to attack

0:14:35 > 0:14:37everyone who cares about you, then fine. I'm past caring.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47Mr Potts... What exactly do you mean?

0:14:50 > 0:14:54If you're not going to talk about your wife, can we please discuss your son?

0:14:54 > 0:14:57- He's running round Letherbridge, causing mayhem.- And whose fault is that?

0:14:59 > 0:15:01He hasn't got a mother, thanks to you lot.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11She went to the doctors,

0:15:11 > 0:15:12with a stomach pain.

0:15:14 > 0:15:15They said it was indigestion.

0:15:17 > 0:15:18It was cancer.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23By the time they found out, it was too late.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27Symptoms can be overlooked for lots of different reasons.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Oh yeah, wriggle out of it. Use big words.

0:15:30 > 0:15:33But at the end of the day, my boy lost his mother.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Whatever happened to your wife - and I don't doubt how devastating

0:15:36 > 0:15:38it's been, your main priority now is your son,

0:15:38 > 0:15:40who's got all this anger inside him.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43You think I don't know? You think I haven't tried?

0:15:46 > 0:15:48I don't even know where he is.

0:15:49 > 0:15:54He spends half the day sleeping, the other half drawing -

0:15:55 > 0:15:57stars, planets, galaxies.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01What does he do that for?

0:16:01 > 0:16:03It's like he's a spaceman.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07He's not normal.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10MUSIC: "Strange News From Another Star" - Blur

0:16:48 > 0:16:50OK, earthlings!

0:16:50 > 0:16:53Time's winged chariot is pegging its way towards us,

0:16:53 > 0:16:55so let's make a start on the art.

0:16:55 > 0:17:00Now remember - this is not about pretty pictures,

0:17:00 > 0:17:03it's about subtextual Semtex.

0:17:03 > 0:17:04OK?

0:17:04 > 0:17:09So I think it's time to blow everyone's mind.

0:17:09 > 0:17:10Get to work, people!

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Wait for this.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Right, Mrs Tembe, I'm off.

0:17:31 > 0:17:35Well, I still have a few things to sort out, so I will lock up.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38Though I have organised a cleaning team to come in tomorrow morning.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39Right. Thank you.

0:17:39 > 0:17:43It still amazes me that one so young can cause such havoc.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Well, I don't think our paintballing Picasso has had

0:17:45 > 0:17:47the happiest of lives.

0:17:47 > 0:17:48That is still no excuse.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50No...

0:17:50 > 0:17:52But I suspect his artwork may have a hidden meaning.

0:17:54 > 0:17:55See you Monday.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03Kyle!

0:18:04 > 0:18:06This what you're looking for?

0:18:08 > 0:18:09HE SIGHS

0:18:17 > 0:18:21Well...I think it's lovely what he's done with the place.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25It's supposed to be an art gallery, so where is all the art?

0:18:25 > 0:18:28It's all art, isn't it? The walls,

0:18:28 > 0:18:31the floor, the waitresses, canapes...

0:18:31 > 0:18:33That's what I'm worried about - that I go to the toilet

0:18:33 > 0:18:35and pee on a masterpiece.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Well you'll just have to keep your legs crossed, won't you!

0:18:38 > 0:18:41Champagne? Oh, no!

0:18:41 > 0:18:43We're just trying to be supportive!

0:18:43 > 0:18:46I see that Kingsley is making good use of you.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49Dad, this is a really good opportunity for me

0:18:49 > 0:18:51to meet local artists and local gallery owners.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53And do what, ask them what they want to drink?

0:18:53 > 0:18:56Well, I think it's lovely what he's done with the place.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58It'll be really nice when it's finished.

0:18:58 > 0:18:59It is finished!

0:19:00 > 0:19:02This is the gallery. It's open for business.

0:19:02 > 0:19:03So where's all the art?

0:19:03 > 0:19:06All I can see is a knackered old fridge.

0:19:06 > 0:19:07SHE SIGHS

0:19:07 > 0:19:12OK, the exhibition is called "Night Cravings".

0:19:12 > 0:19:14It's about the darker side of human desire.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17So inside every studio is a fridge,

0:19:17 > 0:19:19and inside each fridge is something that someone

0:19:19 > 0:19:21might find they have a craving for.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Like a nice piece of cheesecake?

0:19:24 > 0:19:25Not exactly.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Right. Well, let's go and have a look, shall we?

0:19:54 > 0:19:55You're really good, you know.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57Go away!

0:19:58 > 0:20:01I'd be happy to. I just want a word.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03How about "bog off"?

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Look, I'm not your enemy.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08I just want to talk to you about your mum.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Kyle...- Argh!

0:20:14 > 0:20:17"The dark side of human desire"? The man's a pervert.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24Is that what I think it is?!

0:20:24 > 0:20:28I don't know. I've never seen one from this angle before.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Ugh!

0:20:30 > 0:20:33If that's someone's deepest desire,

0:20:33 > 0:20:35then this world is sicker than I thought.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Rob?- What? - What's Immie let herself in for?

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- Don't look now.- What? - It's Kingsley.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42ALL APPLAUD

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Let me tie this around your hand.

0:20:49 > 0:20:50Stop the bleeding.

0:20:53 > 0:20:54Not going to say anything?

0:20:57 > 0:20:58Fine, be like that.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02You'll live. I've seen worse.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04- When? - When I was in the army.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09But I thought you were a doctor.

0:21:09 > 0:21:10No. Ex-soldier.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15I just give orders to doctors and nurses these days.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16Have you ever killed anyone?

0:21:16 > 0:21:19- Have you ever thought about joining the army?- Why?

0:21:19 > 0:21:22- You meet interesting people. - Yeah, and shoot them.

0:21:25 > 0:21:26Spoke to your dad.

0:21:28 > 0:21:29He told me all about your mother.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33It was an awful thing that happened.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Even if they'd known what was wrong with her,

0:21:35 > 0:21:38it was too late to do anything.

0:21:38 > 0:21:39It was just...

0:21:41 > 0:21:42..just the worst thing in the world.

0:21:44 > 0:21:45Yeah.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Also, saw photos of all your graffiti,

0:21:50 > 0:21:52and the buildings you've climbed to paint.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54It's dangerous. Why do you do it?

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Because...

0:22:01 > 0:22:02I miss my mum.

0:22:08 > 0:22:09I want to talk to her.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13I just want to spend one more day with her.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Her name was Stella.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21Right.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23And now it's like she's watching over me.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Yeah. Maybe she is.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Right. Well, I need another drink.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37And I'm certainly not going to look for one in that fridge for one.

0:22:37 > 0:22:39What did you think?

0:22:39 > 0:22:41- About what? - The artwork. The installation.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44- The artwork? Erm... - Interesting.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47He's very interesting. Very expressive.

0:22:47 > 0:22:48Of what?

0:22:48 > 0:22:52Of man's inhumanity to man, possibly.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Look, you can be honest.

0:22:55 > 0:22:58Kingsley's work is all about cutting through social convention

0:22:58 > 0:23:00and being true to yourself, so you can actually tell me what you feel.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- I hated it.- What a disgusting thing to do. I mean the smell of it...

0:23:03 > 0:23:06I know! I think there's something wrong with the fridge -

0:23:06 > 0:23:09- maybe it needs defrosting. - Typical!- What?

0:23:09 > 0:23:10I knew you wouldn't get it.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13At least everyone else here can see what he's trying to do.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15You guys can't even see past your own prejudice.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21Well, there you go. You see?

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Honesty - not always the best policy.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26It only seems like yesterday when she was drawing little pictures of us

0:23:26 > 0:23:28on her blackboard.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Yeah, and now we've become Mr and Mrs Uneducated.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Is that what we're supposed to do?

0:23:33 > 0:23:36We have to pretend that we like this rubbish?

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Yeah, I think it is. That's what everyone else seems to be doing.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40ARTIST CLAPS

0:23:40 > 0:23:43OK, everyone, listen up!

0:23:43 > 0:23:45I'd like to say a few words.

0:23:46 > 0:23:47DOOR CLOSES

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Hi, Dad. All right?

0:23:51 > 0:23:52What?

0:23:52 > 0:23:56Dad, I'm like really hungry, so I thought maybe I could get

0:23:56 > 0:23:59one of mum's old recipe books and try and make some food.

0:23:59 > 0:24:00OK?

0:24:02 > 0:24:03Oh, no.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08- What? - You've wet yourself, again!

0:24:13 > 0:24:17So that's... That's the mission of my new gallery - to bring

0:24:17 > 0:24:21a bit of glamour and excitement into your dull, everyday lives.

0:24:21 > 0:24:22ALL LAUGH

0:24:22 > 0:24:26Now, many people ask me, "Why move back to Letherbridge?"

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Well, I think it's a crying shame that most people,

0:24:28 > 0:24:31most talented people, move to London.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33So I have decided -

0:24:33 > 0:24:36like a salmon swimming upstream -

0:24:36 > 0:24:38to return to the place that spawned me.

0:24:38 > 0:24:42And who knows, I may even uncover a little bit of brilliance here.

0:24:44 > 0:24:45ALL LAUGH

0:24:50 > 0:24:51Oi! What are you doing!?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53I'm just trying to clean it off.

0:24:53 > 0:24:58Oh. Don't worry about that now. Get yourself home, lad.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01- I'm not going home. - What?

0:25:01 > 0:25:03I just phoned my granddad.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05He says I can go and stay with him for a bit,

0:25:05 > 0:25:07because I can't stay with my dad no more.

0:25:07 > 0:25:10You know your dad is finding it hard to cope at the moment.

0:25:10 > 0:25:11He's not even trying.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14There's somebody here who organises family therapy.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16- I could book you both in. - No.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20You know your dad hasn't got what you've got.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22You've got a real talent.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24Art can be a great way to express yourself

0:25:24 > 0:25:25and what you're going through.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27Yeah, but it's not really art, is it?

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Of course it is.

0:25:29 > 0:25:30And you're good at it.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35I just wish you would do it on paper, that's all.

0:25:37 > 0:25:42And so, ladies and gentlemen, that is what I mean by art.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48It's a cry of pain, from a boy who lost his mother.

0:25:48 > 0:25:53It's a love song to a woman who had to take out a restraining order

0:25:53 > 0:25:56because I used a naked photo of her in one of my exhibitions.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58ALL LAUGH

0:25:58 > 0:26:01But, most of all, it's about connections.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04You guys will never know what it's like to live inside my dark,

0:26:04 > 0:26:09twisted mind, but with this artwork, I give you a gift...

0:26:10 > 0:26:13The gift...of me.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18OK? Thank you very much.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24Is he for real?

0:26:25 > 0:26:27That depends what you mean by "real".

0:26:27 > 0:26:30I've never seen such a pig-headed, pig-ignorant...pig!

0:26:30 > 0:26:32I told you.

0:26:32 > 0:26:35I know, but I thought that was you just being you.

0:26:35 > 0:26:37And most of the people here think

0:26:37 > 0:26:39the sun shines out of his art...work.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Oh, great.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Here.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57- What's this? - A disclaimer.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59It gives them permission to film you and put it on the telly.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01- Now, please leave. - What's going on?

0:27:01 > 0:27:05This is a reporter who registered as a patient.

0:27:05 > 0:27:06Feeling better?

0:27:06 > 0:27:09That's the all-seeing eye, and I'd like you to finish it.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11I don't think that I can.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14But I say you will.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd