Dear Joe

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0:00:26 > 0:00:30Joe...Joe, slow down. It's only been a week.

0:00:30 > 0:00:35Look at us. It's like I've been in a brawl! The wife's embarrassed to be seen out together.

0:00:35 > 0:00:36I'm sure Annie's just worried about you.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39I need to get it sorted. I've had two this week.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Which is a lot when you haven't had any seizures for a while.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45- So what you going to do about it? - I'm going to get you reviewed again

0:00:45 > 0:00:47at the epilepsy clinic.

0:00:48 > 0:00:49Is that it? All you've got?

0:00:49 > 0:00:51I'll get you an appointment as soon as I can...

0:00:51 > 0:00:55- Have you been listening to anything I said?- If you'll let me finish...

0:00:55 > 0:00:59No, I've told you what I'm dealing with. I can't cope with the epilepsy on top of everything else.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02As I'm trying to say, there is no miracle cure...

0:01:02 > 0:01:03Forget it!

0:01:08 > 0:01:09KNOCKS ON DOOR

0:01:11 > 0:01:15- Hey.- Hey. I've got a patient any minute.

0:01:15 > 0:01:19It was a bit rushed earlier...never got chance to ask you...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20What?

0:01:22 > 0:01:24- If you've done a test?- Test?

0:01:26 > 0:01:31- Oh.- I'm pretty sure this is the first time that you can.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33You've worked out the dates?

0:01:33 > 0:01:35- Yeah.- I wouldn't get your hopes up.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38- The chances of me being pregnant... - Are pretty high.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41Because we've got the timing right and you're young.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Thanks. Look, Jimmy...

0:01:44 > 0:01:47I know, I'm jumping the gun. Let's just wait and see.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Exactly.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52Right. But you'll do a test, as soon as you're free, though?

0:01:52 > 0:01:56Fine. Now go, I've got to get on.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39"Dear Joe.

0:02:39 > 0:02:44"If you're reading this letter, I'll have gone.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46"You'll have to excuse the scrawl,

0:02:46 > 0:02:51"but I need to get it all down before I lose the strength to write it.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54"It's something I should have done a long time ago.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59"Over the years, I've made excuses,

0:02:59 > 0:03:02"given myself reasons why I never came clean.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05"You were still at home,

0:03:05 > 0:03:08"but there was a lot of stuff going on between me and your mum.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13"Maybe that was partly to blame for what I did. I don't know."

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Ah, Dr Cassidy. I am so looking forward to our lunch today.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29Ah, I did wonder...

0:03:29 > 0:03:32We have to leave promptly after morning surgery.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35We want to have plenty of time to eat and chat to everyone.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38I have made you some of those gluten free cakes you like

0:03:38 > 0:03:41- to take with us. - Really, there is no need to...

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Wish somebody would make me a cake! Going anywhere nice?

0:03:44 > 0:03:48I am taking Doctor Cassidy to my church for lunch.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Now, do not worry - I will save you a cake

0:03:51 > 0:03:54- for when you get back from your meeting.- Look forward to it.

0:03:54 > 0:03:58- So, glad to be back? - Yes, I think so.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02Well, you look much more relaxed. I'll be back for four.

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Look, I did wonder

0:04:03 > 0:04:06if maybe yesterday you caught me a little off guard.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08I don't think today's such a good idea.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11Trust me - it will do you the world of good.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13This whole Christian thing...

0:04:13 > 0:04:17All we are doing is having lunch with a group of friends -

0:04:17 > 0:04:21open-minded people who listen to other's problems

0:04:21 > 0:04:24and perhaps offer some support.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26Right.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Come on, Joe. You said you'd be home an hour ago.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36I've dropped the kids off but there's still loads to do.

0:04:36 > 0:04:37Are you listening?

0:04:43 > 0:04:45You're OK.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49There you go. Come on. Shh.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53I'm here. I'm here, love. Come on.

0:04:53 > 0:04:54Shh.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57It's OK.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00- You'll get the results in a couple of weeks.- Thank you, bye.

0:05:03 > 0:05:04What you doing?

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Have you done it?

0:05:07 > 0:05:10No, I've been run off my feet! It's the start of the academic year!

0:05:10 > 0:05:13- You know what new students are like. - Panic-merchants. What about now?

0:05:13 > 0:05:16I have to get ready for the student Sexual Health Clinic.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18That's not until half one, isn't it?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Yes, but...- Right, then.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Ta-da!

0:05:34 > 0:05:35How you feeling?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38- Phew. - I asked you to leave this today.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40- I said it was too much. - I'm fine, I'm just tired.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44- You're not fine. How is this fine? - You're right, I know.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46It's the third one in a week. You can't go on like this.

0:05:49 > 0:05:50Come here.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Annie, I needed to tell you...

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Joe... Joe, you're bleeding.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Have you got anything in the house, any plasters or bandages?

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- I'm taking you to see Dr Carter. - I'm not going there again.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19- Joe, listen to me. - I just need to sleep.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21I know, but we need to get you looked at.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24We don't have time.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Yes, we do. Come on, up you get. Come on, give me your hand.

0:06:39 > 0:06:40SHE TURNS TAP ON

0:06:48 > 0:06:49< Cherry?

0:06:55 > 0:06:57So?

0:07:00 > 0:07:02It will happen for us.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Yeah.

0:07:05 > 0:07:09Don't worry, it's just that I'd kind of...built this up in my head.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12This was going to be it, you know?

0:07:12 > 0:07:14I'd imagined when our baby would start walking,

0:07:14 > 0:07:15taking him to school...

0:07:15 > 0:07:19- Jimmi, don't...- You don't think it's going to get to you like this.

0:07:19 > 0:07:23Makes you realise what couples like Daniel and Zara went through.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25That's really not helping.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28Sorry.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30You're going to have to be more patient.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32I know, I've wanted this for such a long time.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35I've wanted this for so long, wanted to be a dad.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Ever since that time when we lost the baby...

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Will you just give it a rest?

0:07:41 > 0:07:42Sorry.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44I don't need this.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46I've had enough, OK?

0:07:51 > 0:07:53It's never been this bad.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57Losing a parent is one of the hardest things we have to deal with.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00If he'd just talk about it. But he won't, just bottles it all up.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Which compounds the stress.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Stop talking about me like I'm not in the room.- Dr Carter's concerned.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08- Are we done now?- Are you even listening to what he's saying?

0:08:08 > 0:08:11- I need to rest before the service. - Service?

0:08:11 > 0:08:14It's Stephen's cremation this afternoon. Didn't you tell him?

0:08:14 > 0:08:16No, he didn't.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19I'm going to get the car, bring it out the front.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24Joe, why didn't you say something?

0:08:24 > 0:08:26It doesn't matter.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29What would you do if you found something out about someone you loved?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31I'm not sure I follow.

0:08:31 > 0:08:36That something made you think about all the stuff you knew about them.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38What would you do then?

0:08:38 > 0:08:40- I'd think about it very carefully. - Why's that?

0:08:40 > 0:08:44Because once you say something, it's very hard to take it back.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46You'd let sleeping dogs lie?

0:08:46 > 0:08:50- Perhaps.- I've got to go now. You've been a big help.

0:08:50 > 0:08:54- Right.- I don't need you any more.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56PHONE RINGS Hang on.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Dr Carter.

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Yes, thank you very much for phoning me back.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06It's not exactly a great moment.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Can I ring you back in about...? Thank you.

0:09:23 > 0:09:27- Sandwich?- I'm really not very hungry.- Nonsense.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Mrs Parks, Miss Ellis,

0:09:31 > 0:09:36this is my very good friend and colleague, Dr Cassidy.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Hello.

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Hi, I'm Barbara.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Nice to meet you, Barbara.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Good to have some new faces.

0:09:43 > 0:09:47- I thought I'd come along and test the water.- We're not a bad bunch.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Try our best, you know.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Mrs Cooper is over there. I think she wants to talk to us.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58- OK.- Excuse me. Sorry.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Is something wrong? - No, no, everything is fine.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Barbara seems very nice.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09She does, doesn't she?

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Dr Carter, what's wrong? Has something happened to Joe?

0:10:19 > 0:10:21- I thought he was with you. - I went to make some tea.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25- When I came back, he'd gone!- Do you know where?- He's taken the car.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28He shouldn't even be driving. I knew today was going to be difficult,

0:10:28 > 0:10:30but I've never seen Joe like this. What's going on?

0:10:30 > 0:10:34- I'm not sure.- So why are you here? - I need to speak to him.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Why? What is it?

0:10:36 > 0:10:38He left something at the surgery, to do with his dad -

0:10:38 > 0:10:41I don't want to say more than that.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42You think that's why he ran off?

0:10:44 > 0:10:46What's that man done to him now?

0:10:46 > 0:10:49- What do you mean?- It's complicated.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Stephen never really took to Joe having epilepsy.

0:10:52 > 0:10:56He always felt under pressure to live up to his dad,

0:10:56 > 0:10:58like he wasn't really good enough.

0:10:59 > 0:11:03- I think he's gone back to his dad's. - Come on.

0:11:08 > 0:11:10Excuse me. Ladies...

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Ladies...

0:11:12 > 0:11:15I think most of you have met Elaine already,

0:11:15 > 0:11:17but I'd like to welcome her to the group.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Thank you.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21It would be great if you could say a few words about yourself.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24She has just come to listen today.

0:11:24 > 0:11:30It's fine, I'm happy to speak. It's just where to start.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Erm... Well...

0:11:32 > 0:11:34I'm a doctor at the Mill Health Centre.

0:11:34 > 0:11:41I came to Letherbridge two years ago and it's...it's been a disaster.

0:11:44 > 0:11:48Joe, talk to us.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Joe, I think Annie should read this, don't you?

0:11:52 > 0:11:56I can only imagine what you're going through, especially today,

0:11:56 > 0:11:58but we have to take this seriously.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00Was there anything in your father's state of mind

0:12:00 > 0:12:03that could explain this?

0:12:03 > 0:12:06- He was dying of cancer. He wasn't in his right mind.- Perhaps,

0:12:06 > 0:12:08but the letter seems pretty lucid to me.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10He didn't know what he was saying.

0:12:10 > 0:12:15There are dates, details of where the girl may be buried

0:12:15 > 0:12:17that the police can look into.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20- They won't find anything, you'd be wasting their time.- Let them try.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24There may be DNA, something that will put your mind at rest.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28I'd have known if he was capable of something like that, wouldn't I?

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, Joe...

0:12:32 > 0:12:33You think he did it?

0:12:35 > 0:12:39I don't want to...any more than you but...

0:12:39 > 0:12:42You never liked him.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43That's not true.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46You'd always try and find an excuse not to go and see him.

0:12:46 > 0:12:47Don't do this, Joe.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50There was some pal of yours you had to go see. Someone more important.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52No, I put in the time.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55You make it sound like a prison sentence.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Well, sometimes it felt like it. I hated the way he was with you.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01- The way he made you feel. - My dad would do anything for us.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03So why couldn't he talk about your epilepsy?

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Why did he make you think it was your fault?

0:13:05 > 0:13:06Don't come to the service.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13I'd like you to go now, please.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15- Joe, don't do anything... - Both of you!

0:13:16 > 0:13:18I don't know.

0:13:18 > 0:13:19Maybe there's something in me

0:13:19 > 0:13:23that makes me go for totally unsuitable men.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27Getting involved with Ed was for all the wrong reasons, mainly sexual

0:13:27 > 0:13:30and guilt, I suppose, for putting him in hospital.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Well, thank you...

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Then there was Harrison.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36I knew he was married.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40I got far too involved, even when his pregnant wife turned up at work.

0:13:40 > 0:13:44What was even worse was when I'd found out what he'd done,

0:13:44 > 0:13:46that he was a murderer,

0:13:46 > 0:13:49I had this need, this compulsion to be near him.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53I don't know, to still have feelings for someone.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55What does that make me?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Sorry, I've rattled on...

0:13:58 > 0:14:05It's fine. I'm sure we can all relate, in some way.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08We've all been through difficult times in our lives.

0:14:08 > 0:14:14Thank you, everyone, but it is time for us to go.

0:14:14 > 0:14:15Is it?

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Surely you can stay a little longer?

0:14:17 > 0:14:21Elaine's been very brave and courageous coming here today.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24I'm sure some of us would like the chance to respond.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26I, for one, have to confess

0:14:26 > 0:14:30that I followed the story very closely in the papers.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32I can't imagine how hard it must have been

0:14:32 > 0:14:34knowing the people involved.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36Yes. Yes, it was.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39It's not in the same league, I know,

0:14:39 > 0:14:41but recently I've become a prison visitor at Millfield.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44Partly to help lonely people

0:14:44 > 0:14:48but also to broaden my own horizons.

0:14:48 > 0:14:52One thing I've learnt is that the biggest motivation for what they did

0:14:52 > 0:14:57isn't rage or anger, but shame.

0:14:58 > 0:15:02Shame at some personal weakness or flaw.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Whatever it is,

0:15:05 > 0:15:08it's that vulnerability and humanity, I believe,

0:15:08 > 0:15:11that can draw us to them, however brutal their crime.

0:15:13 > 0:15:14Letting Harrison into your life

0:15:14 > 0:15:16isn't something you should blame yourself for.

0:15:18 > 0:15:19We all make mistakes.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Isn't the important thing to recognise that

0:15:24 > 0:15:26and be able to forgive ourselves?

0:15:29 > 0:15:32You've got the support of all of us here, if you need it.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36We have to go now. You need to get back for your meeting

0:15:36 > 0:15:38- before afternoon surgery. - What meeting?

0:15:38 > 0:15:41With Dr Carter - I told you this morning.

0:15:42 > 0:15:48Thank you. You've all been very kind. Excuse me.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Excuse me.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Do you want to tell me what all this is about?

0:15:58 > 0:16:00I think it may have something to do with me.

0:16:02 > 0:16:03You were my friend

0:16:03 > 0:16:08and you just stood there and let that man abuse me in my own church.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11- This is about your neighbour? - Mrs Tembe...- Today...

0:16:11 > 0:16:15today, I bring a complete stranger...

0:16:15 > 0:16:19I am sorry, Dr Cassidy. ..and suddenly you cannot do enough.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21If you'd just let me explain...

0:16:21 > 0:16:24You have had nearly a year to explain!

0:16:24 > 0:16:26I know, I've let you down.

0:16:26 > 0:16:31I didn't know what to do when it happened, what to say.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34I've never experienced racism before.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Well, you are very lucky.

0:16:36 > 0:16:38I'm sorry.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40I could have done more.

0:16:40 > 0:16:41You must have realised

0:16:41 > 0:16:45ignoring what happened would be really hurtful for Mrs Tembe?

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Yes, and I'm ashamed of myself, truly.

0:16:47 > 0:16:51I've tried to tell you, but you didn't come to church for such a long time,

0:16:51 > 0:16:55and then when you did, you made it so hard. You wouldn't talk to me.

0:16:55 > 0:16:56Can you blame me?

0:16:56 > 0:17:00I thought, if you saw me reaching out to your friend...

0:17:00 > 0:17:03I'm not saying it could ever make amends.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05Isn't this what we've been talking about,

0:17:05 > 0:17:09not giving yourself a hard time about the mistakes you make?

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Forgiveness?

0:17:15 > 0:17:16I will see you next week.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35Do you know how many crank calls or letters like this we get?

0:17:35 > 0:17:38I know, but just to keep my mind at rest.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40I'll be with you in a minute.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49- Hmm.- What?- There is an entry here under that name.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Natalie Hayward?- Reported missing.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54What else does it say?

0:17:54 > 0:17:57Suspected runaway, looks like the boyfriend was interviewed,

0:17:57 > 0:18:00said they'd had a fight.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03- She said she wasn't going to come back. Interesting.- What?

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Still got some of her clothing in an evidence locker at HQ.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08It's hard to tell from this photo, could be a cardigan.

0:18:08 > 0:18:13Is it usual to keep things in a missing persons case?

0:18:13 > 0:18:17Must have been some doubt, I suppose. There's a date in here.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Third of May, 1982.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25- That's when she was last seen. Let me speak to MIU.- What will they do?

0:18:25 > 0:18:29I imagine they'll get forensics to take another look at the cardigan.

0:18:29 > 0:18:33We'll need a DNA sample from either the father or the son, as well.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35I'm not sure Joe will be willing.

0:18:35 > 0:18:39- Best evidence would be from the father anyway.- He's going to be cremated in less than an hour.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42Better get our skates on then.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Don't worry, it probably won't come to that.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47We just need something that belonged to him, that's all.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50You said Joe Arnold found this when he was sorting through the house?

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Yes, but he's kept some of his father's stuff.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55I'll get someone down.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Well, thank you for that. It was, um...

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Please, do not try to be kind to me.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33I have been searching and searching my conscience about what I did.

0:19:33 > 0:19:38It's understandable, the incident with that man must have been...

0:19:38 > 0:19:39It is not that.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43I was more concerned about myself

0:19:43 > 0:19:47than trying to help a friend in need. I feel so ashamed.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Don't be so hard on yourself.

0:19:49 > 0:19:53How am I ever going to show my face at church again?

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Go with your head held high.

0:19:58 > 0:19:59Maybe you will come also?

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Ah, you know...

0:20:01 > 0:20:06I don't think either of us can handle a return appearance.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Most weekends I'd play football.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18Our team were rubbish but Dad would always come, whatever the weather.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23I remember one match, we lost 8-0.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26I was crying, but Dad somehow convinced us

0:20:26 > 0:20:29that next time I'd score a hat trick.

0:20:29 > 0:20:33Of course I didn't, but it was there in me mind that I could do it.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35DOOR OPENS

0:20:45 > 0:20:48That's what he gave us.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Remember Joe's in a very fragile state right now.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53This is serious, Doc. The officers who went round to the house,

0:20:53 > 0:20:56reckon he deliberately burnt those things.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58I don't think anything he's doing is rational.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Maybe not, but he's left us no choice.

0:21:01 > 0:21:06I know you all loved him, knew him well, and he's in our hearts.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16We'll always remember you, Stephen Arnold.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17May you...

0:21:19 > 0:21:21May you rest in...

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Turn it off.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27I can't do this.

0:21:31 > 0:21:37My dad once let slip that my epilepsy felt like a curse on him.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40I didn't understand at the time,

0:21:40 > 0:21:42thought it was me to blame,

0:21:42 > 0:21:45that I was broken, somehow.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50I didn't know,

0:21:50 > 0:21:54but my seizures started after my dad...

0:21:54 > 0:21:57raped and murdered a young girl.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04All those nights sat awake with him...

0:22:04 > 0:22:07I thought it was the cancer eating away at him.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09He had something to be punished for.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15Maybe if he'd...admitted what he'd done...

0:22:17 > 0:22:20..maybe I would have respected him...

0:22:20 > 0:22:23believed that he was sorry for it.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34How was your lunch?

0:22:34 > 0:22:35Eventful.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Clash of the twinsets?

0:22:38 > 0:22:42I think Mrs Tembe may have forgotten to bring you that cake.

0:22:42 > 0:22:46I'll live. So how are you? How's the rest of the day?

0:22:46 > 0:22:47OK.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51No second thoughts?

0:22:51 > 0:22:55If you need me to lighten your load, just say the word.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57My word is your command.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00It's important that all the staff are supported.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03I've got a few ideas I'd like to run by you.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Would you like to meet up?

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Sure.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10I'm a bit pushed all day tomorrow.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13How about tomorrow evening, after surgery?

0:23:13 > 0:23:16Yes, that's good.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19Well, I'll leave you to it.

0:23:19 > 0:23:20A mountain of paperwork.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Are you OK?

0:23:38 > 0:23:40You did the right thing.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10I'm sorry.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13It was my fault. I should never have brought all that stuff up.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15None of it is even important now.

0:24:15 > 0:24:19All that's important is you and me and how much we want this baby.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21Yeah.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25Which is why I've been thinking ways to make things easier,

0:24:25 > 0:24:27so we don't have to go through the same disappointment

0:24:27 > 0:24:28month after month.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32Like what?

0:24:32 > 0:24:34I found this chart online.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37If we take your basal body temperature every day,

0:24:37 > 0:24:39we'll know exactly when you're ovulating.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Right.- If in two to three months you're not pregnant,

0:24:42 > 0:24:44then I can book myself in for a sperm test.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47Plenty of men get problems as they get older.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Sounds like a plan.

0:24:50 > 0:24:55Yeah. And the best thing is, it takes the pressure off you.

0:24:57 > 0:24:58See you later.

0:25:02 > 0:25:06'Dear Lord, I ask you for forgiveness.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10'I have sinned.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13'I have not been the person I wanted to be,

0:25:13 > 0:25:17'and I am ashamed of my behaviour.

0:25:20 > 0:25:24'I failed to see the good in others.

0:25:24 > 0:25:28'I condemned them when I should have understood.'

0:25:31 > 0:25:35I was quick to judge when I myself was wanting.

0:25:36 > 0:25:40I was proud when I should have been humble.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43And I am so, so sorry.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49'I need your guidance to show me the way again.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54'Lord help me to leave the past behind

0:25:54 > 0:25:57'and give me the strength to carry on.

0:26:00 > 0:26:01'Amen.'

0:26:07 > 0:26:09I don't want to bank online.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11I want to talk to a human being!

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Which one?

0:26:13 > 0:26:14Which one what?

0:26:14 > 0:26:15I can't decide.

0:26:17 > 0:26:17PIE.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19Sorry?

0:26:19 > 0:26:22P I E, Proximity, Immediacy, Expectancy.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28Is that what they teach you do in medical school?

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd