0:00:28 > 0:00:34MUSIC: "Price Tag" by Jessie J
0:00:36 > 0:00:38You can take the girl out of the Midlands but you cannot,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41I say, you cannot take the Midlands out of the girl.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43The UV works a treat.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Why wouldn't it?
0:00:44 > 0:00:48How lucky was I to find you? Totes fab Shellac.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Makes me wish I still lived local. Won't you let me pay?
0:00:51 > 0:00:54I've told you already. We're not open properly. I needed to try the kit.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Come back after our opening evening.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59You can spend yourself stupid then. With lots of your friends.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02I don't know any girlies in the local area any more.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04We wax chaps too.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06MOBILE RINGS
0:01:08 > 0:01:10It's just a flying visit.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Any time you need a guinea pig. Bye, then.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16See you.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22What? I needed to test the UV.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26'Hi.' Hi, babe. Listen, I was just...
0:01:26 > 0:01:28'You've reached Charlotte's phone.'
0:01:28 > 0:01:31You're in Letherbridge. I could be in Leth...
0:01:31 > 0:01:34'I can't answer it so leave me a message.' ..Letherbridge. 'Laters!'
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Right, OK, Pratty Piers strikes again.
0:01:37 > 0:01:43Listen, I might... I'll maybe see you later.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Thank you. She's going to make you do her a bandage?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Don't be daft. Oh, come on. I ask you.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54When was Charlotte Lucas ever without a plaster on her face?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Charlie liked plasters!
0:01:57 > 0:02:01You were so sweet. Get off! Go on, say it.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03No way. Say it, I'll give you another 20
0:02:03 > 0:02:06and I won't do the whole mum-budgeting speech.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Make it 30.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Worth every penny.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16No, I may have been born at night but I was not born LAST night.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22OK...
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Go on.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29I am Nurse Twiss.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30And?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33And I made Charlotte a bandage.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37There you go. I don't want it back either.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42Seriously? Thank you.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43I'd have loved to have seen Charlie.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46I didn't get to see her before Christmas either.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49I'll give her a call if you want, see if she wants to come in for a coffee.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Two o'clock would work. OK.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I heard you wheezing in that back room.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Dust. I found your blue inhaler.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Thank you.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02It was empty. So I've made you an appointment at a place called The Mill.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05I'll get a prescription from Dr Garner. I'll call him.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08We have to register with a quack in Letherbridge.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12I'll register too, but you will have first appointment
0:03:12 > 0:03:16because you wheeze. Mum! We're going today.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20Ow! Maintain a light touch, please.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I'm coming with. What? Why?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25A, I've nothing else to do but clean.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27B, I'm sick of cleaning.
0:03:27 > 0:03:33C, I like a nice trip out and, four, you never know who you might meet.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35A quack or an ill person. Great(!)
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Morning, ladies. Oops!
0:03:41 > 0:03:45One of the mysteries of femininity I'd hoped never to uncover. Hello.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Who are you? Barry Norman Biglow.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Is that supposed to mean something? I'm Malcolm, your landlord's right-hand man.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54You'll have been expecting me.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Malcolm HAS told you about me?
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Malcolm's on a cruise. You're his stand-in.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00And if I might say so,
0:04:00 > 0:04:04you've brought a touch of cruise line sophistication to Letherbridge.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06You're a security guard?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I am what I like to call a safety and enforcement expert,
0:04:09 > 0:04:13or an S EE. Very masculine.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15I do boast a softer side. I'm sure you do.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18As you've already been able to tell, I am very comfortable with
0:04:18 > 0:04:20the older lady. So...
0:04:20 > 0:04:25if there's anything you need in the maintenance capacity - concerns
0:04:25 > 0:04:28about trip hazards, requests for grab rails et cetera, et cetera.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Bit of a drip. Sigourney!
0:04:31 > 0:04:34The wash basins in the back, there's a bit of a drip.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37That being the case, I shall very much look forward to
0:04:37 > 0:04:38sorting out your plumbing.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Sorted. We're going to meet in town then we'll pop back here for coffee.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Great!
0:04:45 > 0:04:48What you doing here?
0:04:48 > 0:04:52I've just come to borrow some money off my mum. Pass my coat please, mate.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53Off your mum?
0:04:53 > 0:04:56You're just jealous. Yeah, I am actually.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58What you going to spend your pocket money on?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Best mate from primary school moved away, but they're back visiting
0:05:01 > 0:05:03so we're going to have some lunch.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Where'd he move to? SHE moved to London.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08SHE moved to London?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Your best mate from primary school was a girl?! Total freak!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Totally jealous!
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Mr Longfellow... Good morning. Can I help you?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26My daughter, Sigourney Newton, has an appointment with your
0:05:26 > 0:05:31Dr Tyler. It's an initial assessment. We're new.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35I spoke to an enormously helpful lady on the telephone this morning.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Oh, well...that would have been me.
0:05:38 > 0:05:44Yes, such an exquisite accent. Was that Dr Tyler?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Yes. Now, your appointment is not until...
0:05:47 > 0:05:50She likes to be early. Sorry. I'll wait over there.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Better early than late.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53..ten past twelve.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56I do like to see a man in a professionally laundered shirt.
0:05:56 > 0:06:02Sets the right tone. Yes, well, Dr Tyler is always extremely smart.
0:06:02 > 0:06:07Could you ask your daughter to fill in this registration form, please?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Thank you.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11PHONE RINGS
0:06:19 > 0:06:22SHE WOLF WHISTLES
0:06:22 > 0:06:26Oh...! Nuggie! Nuggie! Nuggie! Who's the boss?!
0:06:26 > 0:06:28You're the boss! You're the boss!
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Nurse Twiss!
0:06:31 > 0:06:35As I live and breathe. Have you dyed your hair?
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Yeah. Nice nails. Is this a London thing?
0:06:39 > 0:06:43What have you been up to? Just...stuff.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Guess what I downloaded yesterday. S Club 7.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47You never! I've got it on shuffle.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52You don't have flu jabs?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54I'm not old enough.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57I'm sure you're not, but this is Sigourney's consultation.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Sorry. No, I don't. I eat a lot of oranges.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02OK, well, oranges are a winner
0:07:02 > 0:07:04but you'll need more than oranges to stop getting flu.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Flu vaccines aren't all they're cracked up to be.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08They're not? No, they're not.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12It's doctors claiming that they are and falling for the pharmaceutical industry bull
0:07:12 > 0:07:14which stops them from developing a better vaccine.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16She thinks she knows best.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20They earn millions. And they don't do any research.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23All because they've hoodwinked the qua... Doctors.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Win, win. Give it a chance. You'll get used to it.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27Mum, do you mind?!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31I need to pay a little visit.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33The Mill scored five out of five for its...
0:07:33 > 0:07:35SHE MOUTHS
0:07:35 > 0:07:37I'll leave you two to it.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46The place I've parked my car is built out of crushed cars
0:07:46 > 0:07:49in cages of steel. How Birmingham is that?
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It's more Birmingham than your new accent.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53What d'yow mean?! That's better.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Look, Chris, there's something I've got to tell you.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01What's that then?
0:08:01 > 0:08:04You're probably not going to be delighted.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06But try and be happy for me, will you?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Oh! SHE SCREAMS
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I am SO sorry. Are you all right?
0:08:16 > 0:08:17Please. Sit down.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Can I help? No.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I'm a squealer. It was ever so.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25You didn't hurt me...
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Dustpan, Mrs Tembe? ..much.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32You've got lovely forearms. Sturdy. Are you a doctor?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Dr Carter, Heston Carter.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36I'm a personal grooming professional.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39A beautician? And entrepreneur.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43My daughter and I are relaunching the salon on Langton Street. OK.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46It'll be totally metrosexual.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Mmm... What are you wearing?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Gentle but manly.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57If you fancy a wax or a facial... The salon's not open to the public
0:08:57 > 0:09:01yet, but....if you're ever up our end...
0:09:02 > 0:09:06So, do you? What? Always know best?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09I wheeze in a dusty environment.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12As I'm manic about cleanliness, dusty environments don't last very long.
0:09:12 > 0:09:17Well, dust and dust mites are a common allergy trigger. Do you react badly to anything else?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19No. I've never had an episode of anaphylaxis,
0:09:19 > 0:09:22and why would I want to put myself through stick-pin testing?
0:09:22 > 0:09:23Did I say anything about...
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Why would I want to put the NHS to the expense of immunotherapy?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28I don't want steroid inhalers
0:09:28 > 0:09:31and I don't want a pneumococcal vaccine. I've read about them.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36Right. Is there anything you imagine a doctor or the health service can do for you?
0:09:36 > 0:09:37Like what?
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Our aim should be to control the asthma, not let it control you.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43What is it with you lot and this almighty god of medication?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Right, just the repeat prescription for the inhaler then,
0:09:45 > 0:09:46for those odd occasions
0:09:46 > 0:09:49when you're not completely in control of everything.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I beg your pardon?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Seriously? You're getting married?
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Big pouffey dress, tiara, lilies, limos. Everything.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00What, like...properly married?
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Well, yeah.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03What about everything you used to say?
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Moi?!
0:10:04 > 0:10:08You're the one who only ever wanted to get married to Rachel Stevens from S Club 7!
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Still do.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11# And I'm still waiting... #
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Yeah, all right. All right.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20So, who is this stuck-up...
0:10:20 > 0:10:24It's Piers. I'm going to marry Piers.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Of course you are(!) You're going to marry that creepy little runt.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29How is the bed wetter anyway?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31He didn't wet the bed.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32He so did.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36You ARE joking, right?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40I really am so sorry.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Fancy having an attack of the vapours at the doctor's.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48Very Pride And Prejudice. You Darcy, me Jane?
0:10:48 > 0:10:49We're going.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Hold up, Sigourney.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55No. What would you like me to do with your pearls?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Bin them, they're off the Bullring.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00One seems to be trapped in your...bosom.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Mother!
0:11:03 > 0:11:08Don't forget, Dr Heston Carter. Langton Street.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Look, right, I'm sorry but I can't not... Here we go.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Piers is a twerp. He's a no-mark.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Nice, Chris. Real nice(!)
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Does he still hack everybody off?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24He's good and he's decent. So he does then.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27And do you want to spend the rest of your life apologising?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30You don't think being bullied all the time created some problems?
0:11:30 > 0:11:31I never bullied him!
0:11:31 > 0:11:35You never went out of your way to be nice to him though, did you? Not unless I made you.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38How is marrying Piers going to make you happy?
0:11:38 > 0:11:43Being bullied made him strong. Strong, focused and rich.
0:11:45 > 0:11:50"Up, up and away." That's what he says. That's what your dad taught him to say.
0:11:50 > 0:11:51"Up, up and away"!
0:11:53 > 0:11:56All right, well...what about you?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58He's richer than all the mean kids put together.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02He's piggin' loaded. This cost more than my car.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Piers would give me anything.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Piers wants me to be happy.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Oh, well, that's all right then(!)
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I want to be a patron of the arts.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14I want couture.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18I want to float around the gardens telling people what to do.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Gardens?! Gardens.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I don't want to work hard, so why should I?
0:12:24 > 0:12:27And if I marry Piers, then I can arrange flowers.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Gardens. I mean...
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I knew you'd be like this.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36Yes, because you have told me you're marrying Piers!
0:12:36 > 0:12:39My last patient cancelled, so
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I suppose I'll have to give this another go.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44You make it sound like a chore.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I have no GREAT EXPECTATIONS.
0:12:47 > 0:12:52Very funny(!) Very clever. Almost as clever as Mr Dickens.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Perhaps we should be paying you by the word,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56like your literary hero.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Instalments, Mrs Tembe.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Charles Dickens wrote serialised novels in instalments that
0:13:02 > 0:13:05were eagerly anticipated. No-one was sponsored to read them.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08It is a myth he was paid by the word.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11This whole sponsorship thing's absurd.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Well, I think the reception evening will be most diverting.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Bonnets and brocade? Not my cup of tea.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Dr Reid? How are you?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Piers! Hello.
0:13:25 > 0:13:32Dr Reid, the sympathy card I sent. The one signed by my secretary.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I got it. "Mr P Morten, signed in his absence."
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Thank you.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40I am SO sorry about that. She'd done it and franked it
0:13:40 > 0:13:43and put it in the post before I had a chance to deal with it personally.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46No harm done. How are you, Piers? This is a surprise.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49The thing is, I'd wanted to write it myself.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50I didn't know what to write
0:13:50 > 0:13:54but I wanted to let you know what a tremendous bloke Sam was,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57of course I did. He really was tremendous.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59No harm done. It's the thought.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02That's generous of you. My PA was an idiot.
0:14:02 > 0:14:03We all make mistakes.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05An idiot. I sacked her.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Is that your car?
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Yeah. I'm surprising Charlie. Have you seen her?
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Are you? She's with Chris. You're surprising her?
0:14:15 > 0:14:16How did you know...?
0:14:16 > 0:14:18We're engaged. She's going to marry me.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21You'll have to come. Charlie will deal with all that.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Hopefully I won't have to sack her too!
0:14:24 > 0:14:26You and Charlotte? You're marrying?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29They'll be along in a minute. Why don't you come in for a coffee?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32I've only got one more patient. I'll put the kettle on.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37So, how are the Dashwoods getting on?
0:14:37 > 0:14:43Eh? No, I'm just scoping out a Doctor Who convention. I might go.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Doctor Who? Yep.
0:14:44 > 0:14:50Rubbish. I'll bet my bonnet you've been snared by Jane.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52No. It's a fan forum.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55What are the last words you read? Quick!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Exterminate! Exterminate!
0:14:57 > 0:15:00You just made that up. You, sir, are a liar.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02No, madam, you are mistaken.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05You are in Regency England, not outer space.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09As it happens, I haven't even started your Sense And Silly Sensibility.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Liar, liar.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18So what are we talking? Six figures, right? Booyaka!
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Kevin goes a bit funny around cars.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23I have no idea. Money's not an issue,
0:15:23 > 0:15:25my fiancee'll like the colour.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27So why did you tell me then? Wish I hadn't.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Well, you did. Piers is...
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Piers is here.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Yay! Dr Lovely!
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Charlie.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42What you doing here? Road trip.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Where's your car? It's the sports car.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46What? That roadster thing? You've got another new car?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49I bought it because my fiancee will like the colour.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52I'm spending the day with Chris. You know that. I told you that.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Chilterns turned into Warwickshire. You know how it is.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Plus I didn't think Nurse Twiss would take you anywhere nice.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Me and Chris have still got catching up to do.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01You can't come for lunch.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04I'll take Dr Reid for lunch, then.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05Hey. I'm up for that.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I can squeeze in the back. I don't mind going in the back.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Well, we'll pop over to the Icon.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14But it's my treat. We'll leave these two to do their catch-up.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16We're still going in your car though, right?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21He's got another new car?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24He's not bothered about cars, he just thought I'd like the colour.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Charlotte Lucas. Talk about bossy!
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Are you sure you know what you're doing?
0:16:30 > 0:16:31I know. I get things wrong.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34You bought a car cos she likes the colour. What's wrong with that(?)
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Did I say I didn't want cucumber in my salad?
0:16:37 > 0:16:41I fail to see signals. Everything's changed, but nothing has.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Don't worry, I'll sort out the cucumber.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Self-aware just means it hurts more.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48I haven't seen Piers in ages.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Then I'll have mine outside.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53It's sunny. And I can sit and look at the car.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02So. Want to tell me anything?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Look at Charlie, and look at me.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11She used to be out of my league and now she's not, not now I'm rich.
0:17:11 > 0:17:16Am I supposed to say something like, "You can't buy love"?
0:17:16 > 0:17:20But you can. She's marrying me because of the money.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23I don't care. She's all I've ever wanted
0:17:23 > 0:17:28but, Chris...
0:17:28 > 0:17:32he only ever put up with me. He never really liked me.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36He's going to try and change her mind.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Love and passion are the only reasons to get married.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Not money.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43I've told you what I want. I've told you it IS about money.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Money's not everything.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Ha! "What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Apart from money, what's Piers got?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Me.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58You don't know him.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Well, I knew him for long enough, and the bloke is still an idiot.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Well, you never really knew him.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Anyway, what's so great about me?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11You're Charlie. You're fantastic.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Rubbish.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15You know you are.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Sorry.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28MUSIC: "Never Had A Dream Come True" by S Club 7
0:18:34 > 0:18:39I... I love her, Dr Reid.
0:18:39 > 0:18:44I can't remember a time when I didn't love Charlotte.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47She's going to marry you. She must have feelings for you too.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52I...
0:18:52 > 0:18:57would do anything for her.
0:19:02 > 0:19:03I'm worried what Twiss'll say.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Why?
0:19:06 > 0:19:11Whatever Chris says, Charlie will do exactly what Charlie wants to do.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Up, up and away?
0:19:15 > 0:19:20You'll work it out. Up, up and away.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28How could you? What!
0:19:28 > 0:19:31How could you do that? What?
0:19:31 > 0:19:33"What? What?"
0:19:33 > 0:19:36No, no way. Don't you put this on me.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Excuse me?
0:19:37 > 0:19:40You wanted to do this. It's not my fault you can't
0:19:40 > 0:19:42marry your doshed-up, wannabe toff now. What?!
0:19:42 > 0:19:46If it took us to do this to bring you to your senses, I'm glad.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48What? Are you mad? We just had sex.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Yeah? And? It didn't mean anything.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Yes, it did.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Seems to me we scratched an itch. It doesn't change anything.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58I'll get over it.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02You shouldn't just get over it. You don't love Piers!
0:20:02 > 0:20:04You and I had sex.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06It doesn't prove I'm not in love with Piers. We already knew
0:20:06 > 0:20:09that. It just proves that I'm not in love with him yet.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11So? Are you going to come with me
0:20:11 > 0:20:14and pretend everything's all right for your mother?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20You can't miss it.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Bye. I hope you feel better.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Right, steak and kidney pie and a pint of real ale on me.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Lunch? Too much to do.
0:20:30 > 0:20:35Too much to do. Doctor Who figurines to pre-order?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Correspondence actually.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41You do realise you're being a total bore?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Can I help it if I'm conscientious?
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Sipping tea and speed reading Sense And Sensibility isn't conscientious.
0:20:47 > 0:20:53Look me in the eye and tell me you haven't fallen for our Jane.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54OK! Fine!
0:20:54 > 0:21:00I have completely fallen for your Jane.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Are you happy now, you literary harpy?!
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Now bog off and leave me to read in peace.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12I'm sorry. What for?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14For kissing you first.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15That's all?
0:21:15 > 0:21:19Please don't do this, Charlie. He is never going to make you happy.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Hurts, doesn't it?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23If you cared about me, you wouldn't want to hurt me. You wouldn't
0:21:23 > 0:21:26make this more difficult. Would you?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Hey, what's up with you two? Mate, d'you mind?
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Nothing's up.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35I don't need this, man.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Don't start.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46I'm not. I just thought, Dr Tyler...
0:21:46 > 0:21:48You're starting!
0:21:48 > 0:21:50I thought he was a lovely young man.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53He's all-right-looking. He's full of himself.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56He's got a god complex. But he smelled really nice.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Did he? You'd have made a lovely couple.
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Please!
0:22:01 > 0:22:03What's wrong with you?!
0:22:03 > 0:22:06What's wrong with being open to a spot of romance?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09What's wrong with responding to the crackle?
0:22:09 > 0:22:10What crackle?
0:22:10 > 0:22:14I felt a crackle. That place definitely had crackle.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18It was quite the most crackle-full surgery I've ever been in.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19It was not.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23And you. You have to go all stroppy and make me look a fool.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31PHONE RINGS
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Charlie, listen, mate, I've been a right plonker. I...
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Forget it. There's something I've got to ask you.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Before, when I touched you, I felt a lump.
0:22:49 > 0:22:50You've got a lump.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52I know. So you're doing something about it?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Yes, I'm doing something about it.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Good. OK, then. That's OK.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59I'm doing something about it, Charlotte,
0:22:59 > 0:23:01because I am not the idiot here.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Whoa! Whoa!
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I need to borrow yours.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13I beg your pardon?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15I've dropped my tablet. The screen's smashed.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19I need to borrow your Sense And Sensitivity.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Seriously. I need to know what happens.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26I promise I'll bring it back tomorrow.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Mine is a gift from my father.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30I have dropped it hundreds of times. Once or twice in the bath.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32A knackered screen is not going to stand between me
0:23:32 > 0:23:34and my enjoyment of Miss Austen.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Are you seriously not going to lend it to me?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40You, madam, are mean.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Just tell me then. Edward and Elinor. That's all right, yeah?
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Marianne works out that the Colonel's her lobster, right?
0:23:50 > 0:23:51Her lobster!
0:23:51 > 0:23:54I could eat a horse.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57You probably will do. Didn't Nurse Twiss buy you lunch?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Talk talk, you know what I'm like.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I'd have thought he'd have bored the pants off you.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Is he coming to the wedding?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I don't think he's got a suit. Pov.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Madam.
0:24:15 > 0:24:20Chris. Take that away and bring me a bottle of Bollinger Rose. Certainly, sir.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Don't know what it is but Twiss that makes me think pink.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Nurse Nancy and all that.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30"Sorry about this afternoon. I'm always here to talk."
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Sorry.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41I know you kind of love him.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46It kills me a bit that you do.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52MUSIC: "Reach For The Stars" by S Club 7
0:25:04 > 0:25:06What to?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Just had to stop myself saying something
0:25:08 > 0:25:10horrid about your little friend.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11Baby steps.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Oh, come on, that was supposed to make you laugh.
0:25:14 > 0:25:19It didn't. All right, OK, well... To us.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22To me making you happy.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Up, up and away?
0:25:32 > 0:25:38Piers, I'm going to try and make you happy as well.
0:25:43 > 0:25:49"Doctor and Mrs." It has a lovely ring to it, do you not think?
0:25:50 > 0:25:51Oh, my days! It's him!
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Dr Carter! Dr Carter! Oh, hello.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58Are you...? What a peculiar basket.
0:25:58 > 0:25:59A tasting at my wine merchant.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01They usually wait for me before they start.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05Oh. Anyway, you know where we are now. Yes.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Ooh, Dr Carter, I can't wait to work my magic on your scalp,
0:26:09 > 0:26:13give you a good old rub down, rejuvenate you.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16I should be on the national health.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Maybe before the reception, you'll be going?
0:26:20 > 0:26:24The whole surgery is going. We dare not disobey Mrs Tembe.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26She's lovely, your receptionist, isn't she? Yes.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28And they're usually hateful cows,
0:26:28 > 0:26:31doctors' receptionists, aren't they?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33We'll see you there then.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36I'm sure it will be a very enjoyable evening.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Oh, my days...and nights!
0:26:39 > 0:26:44"Very enjoyable". I'll have to get a new dress.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45You'll have to get a new dress.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49Dishy Dr Tyler and scrumptious Dr Heston Carter.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Tyler's a twerp.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Sigourney, stop it.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58We'll both be dating doctors before the week is through.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10The loft.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12The loft. That's it.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15That's where he hid Mrs Tilney.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16Love conquers all.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18That is not the first rule, Mum.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20I don't wish to be conquered by anyone.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Catriona. We're here to help. Your mum's here.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26You didn't deserve this, Chris. It's not your punishment.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28You can't think like that.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30It's Mum. He's killed her.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd