Strange Romance

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0:00:29 > 0:00:31CLATTER

0:00:31 > 0:00:33- Raargh! - SHE SCREAMS

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Who are you? What are you doing?!

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Reading... GOING to read.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44I couldn't sleep.

0:00:44 > 0:00:48I was trying to find the kitchen, then the light switch wasn't...

0:00:48 > 0:00:50This place is just so big.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Is everything all right?

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Can someone tell me what's going on, please?

0:00:55 > 0:00:57I'm sorry, did he frighten you?

0:00:57 > 0:00:59He got in so late, I didn't have time to tell him.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02- Tell me what?- You remember Tilly?

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- That's not...? - Tilly Birch, Alice's daughter.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11She and her friend, Laura, have come to stay for a few nights.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Gosh, that's a scary-looking bat...

0:01:15 > 0:01:17Er, can we all just get out of this room, please?

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Yes, all right!

0:01:25 > 0:01:28THEY GIGGLE

0:01:31 > 0:01:34"Can everyone just get out of this room, please?"

0:01:34 > 0:01:37He did look pretty masterful, standing there

0:01:37 > 0:01:39with his flared nostrils and his big bat.

0:01:39 > 0:01:43- In his pants.- I wonder who he's saving THAT bed for.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Damn, that must have been his dad's room, where he died.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49What happened?

0:01:49 > 0:01:52Mum and Emma aren't that close any more, so I'm not too sure,

0:01:52 > 0:01:58but I think he had some sort of accident and then... Oh, poor Chris.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00No wonder he was a bit uptight with me.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Please don't tell me you're going to fall

0:02:02 > 0:02:04for another "wounded soul" type.

0:02:04 > 0:02:08Nah, I'm sticking to the books and bikes from now on.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10You can't beat a good read.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12BOTH: And a good ride! THEY LAUGH

0:02:12 > 0:02:13Ssh!

0:02:20 > 0:02:22MUSIC PLAYS

0:02:22 > 0:02:25And that time she got me to steal your favourite red lipstick

0:02:25 > 0:02:28to play road accidents! Somehow that was my fault too!

0:02:28 > 0:02:31Oh, come on, she is that bit younger than you.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Anyway, she's my goddaughter, so...

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Doesn't mean I have to put up with her weirdness all over again.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Morning, Tilly! Did you sleep all right?

0:02:39 > 0:02:41That bed can be a bit lumpy, I'm afraid.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Do you want tea, coffee, toast?

0:02:43 > 0:02:47- Coffee, thanks. - Here, you can have this one.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Do you want some sugar? - No, thanks.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53I was just telling Chris about the guest lecture

0:02:53 > 0:02:54that you've been invited to.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Lydia Ulov - she's flown in from Prague

0:02:57 > 0:03:00to talk about the propagation of the fairy tale ideal.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Kind of how modern societies still encourage women to debase themselves

0:03:03 > 0:03:06by adopting warped codes of femininity - you know,

0:03:06 > 0:03:08plastic surgery, fad diets, high...

0:03:10 > 0:03:11..heels and stuff.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13She's not messing, this Lydia...

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Ulov. With an umlaut.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Is she going on about that mad professor again?

0:03:19 > 0:03:21You may mock, but once you've heard her speak....

0:03:21 > 0:03:24I think I'll pass. Sounds like a total man-hater to me.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26I went to a lot of effort to get you on the list,

0:03:26 > 0:03:28cos you said you wanted to go.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31That's before I realised we'd be staying with a nurse.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36I know this is a little bit cheeky, but I'm researching the role

0:03:36 > 0:03:39of compassion in the workplace as part of my business Masters.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42If I could spend the day shadowing you...

0:03:42 > 0:03:46I would, but I'm on house calls all day.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Patient confidentiality and all that.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51- I thought you had the afternoon off? - Yeah, but I need to drum up

0:03:51 > 0:03:54- some support for Heston's panto. - I stage managed a play at uni once.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57So if you need a glamorous assistant...

0:03:59 > 0:04:01You've, er, got a blob of jam on...

0:04:02 > 0:04:04I'll...

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Laura, why don't you spend the afternoon shadowing ME?

0:04:11 > 0:04:15Then, Chris, you can take Tilly to the university -

0:04:15 > 0:04:17you go that way, don't you?

0:04:17 > 0:04:20- It's no bother. I was planning on getting the bus.- Don't be silly!

0:04:26 > 0:04:30MUSIC: "Love Of The Common People" by Paul Young

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Good morning, Karen!

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Now, what would you like to do today?

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Oh, I dunno.

0:04:43 > 0:04:49Um, marry Rob Lowe, get a job, a flat, a Quattro...

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Or maybe I'll watch even more telly

0:04:51 > 0:04:53and go out of my mind with boredom.

0:04:53 > 0:04:58I'm sure...we can find something more constructive for you,

0:04:58 > 0:05:01to keep you busy.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04If you show me one more knitting pattern book,

0:05:04 > 0:05:09jigsaw puzzle or cookbook, I swear I'll scream.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16A bit lower, I reckon.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Here, would you hold that for me a sec?

0:05:18 > 0:05:20I don't do "glamorous assistant".

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Better get on it and check before you tighten it up.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29- It's right.- OK.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Why the two bikes?

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Oh. Er, that one's my dad's.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Look, I'm sorry about last night.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42I don't usually leap out on people, like some crazed ninja on steroids.

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Not even weird ones?

0:05:43 > 0:05:46It's just the way Mum springs these things on me...

0:05:46 > 0:05:49And you've got to admit, it's been a while.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52My eighth birthday party. You got a reaction to the cake.

0:05:52 > 0:05:56How about I come and meet you after this lecture's done

0:05:56 > 0:05:58and we'll go and have some lunch?

0:05:58 > 0:06:02I promise, I'll try not to be sick on you or scare the...

0:06:02 > 0:06:03I wasn't scared.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05Hang on, Tilly, wait!

0:06:05 > 0:06:10If only she would let Sergeant Hollins back into her life.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14She seems to think that she is going to marry a Mr Robert...

0:06:14 > 0:06:18Lowe? An old sweetheart, perhaps?

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Some '80s teen-idol, I think.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22At least it wasn't the Hoff.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28You know - Knight Rider...!

0:06:28 > 0:06:31The guy had this mega-cool, high-tech car.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Before he sold out to Baywatch.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Now, why did I not think about this before?

0:06:39 > 0:06:43Driving is the sort of auto-reflex skill that the consultant said

0:06:43 > 0:06:46could trigger her memory.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48And she has asked on several occasions

0:06:48 > 0:06:50if she ever learnt to drive.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54And you only have the asthma clinic today...

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Oh, no, no, no, you can take that idea right out of your mind.

0:06:56 > 0:07:00- Nobody touches my baby but me. - But...- No!

0:07:00 > 0:07:01- Doctor...- No!

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Take care.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18KNOCK AT DOOR

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Come on in, Mrs Aran...Aldridge.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Ah, Dr Tyler.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36Dr Carter has had an urgent request

0:07:36 > 0:07:40for some highly complex echocardiogram data.

0:07:40 > 0:07:46It is most fortunate that you have such a light rota today.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48- But...- Ah. No.

0:07:59 > 0:08:03Ah! It's a shame you can't sit in on the consultations -

0:08:03 > 0:08:06- I've had some real characters this morning.- Oh, it's no problem.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09I've been helping Mrs Tembe arrange the leaflets for reception.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12- Oh!- Fascinating! And the snippets I've gleaned from you in your breaks

0:08:12 > 0:08:16have been worth more than all my lectures and textbooks put together.

0:08:16 > 0:08:20That's very sweet, but I have to say it's only when you get out into the real world...

0:08:20 > 0:08:22You're so right. It's like the support scheme

0:08:22 > 0:08:25I help run at uni... It's a real eye-opener.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Oh, yes?- It's just a little friendly advice, really,

0:08:27 > 0:08:31for those students who might be suffering...emotionally

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- or psychologically. - That's very commendable.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35And you really do get more than you give.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38I've made great friends with some of the other volunteers.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Is that how you met Tilly?

0:08:40 > 0:08:42Er, sort of.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44It's milk, no sugar?

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Oh! Yes, thank you.

0:08:50 > 0:08:54"Invalid data entry. Check and try again"?!

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Check and try again?!

0:08:55 > 0:08:58Have you got a degree in Medical Science?! Huh?

0:08:58 > 0:09:00No! Didn't think so!

0:09:00 > 0:09:04KNOCK AT DOOR So sorry to interrupt again, Dr Tyler,

0:09:04 > 0:09:07but what shall I tell Dr Carter this time?

0:09:07 > 0:09:10Tell him that I'm not some number-crunching automaton,

0:09:10 > 0:09:14that I've lost the will to live, that "computer says no".

0:09:15 > 0:09:16Right...

0:09:22 > 0:09:26Hallelujah! Thanks, Mrs T, thank you.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29I don't suppose there's any way you can be persuaded to finish the rest?

0:09:29 > 0:09:33Oh... I hate to refuse a colleague.

0:09:33 > 0:09:37but I am so concerned about Miss Teale,

0:09:37 > 0:09:39well, I do not think I will be able

0:09:39 > 0:09:43- to concentrate on such intricate... - Forget it...

0:09:43 > 0:09:45As you wish.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48All right, all right! I surrender.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59So it's like Sleeping Beauty is the ultimate

0:09:59 > 0:10:01passive-aggressive object of desire, making everyone wait

0:10:01 > 0:10:04100 years while she lies there doing nothing.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08Right. So I was lucky that you were 20 minutes late out of your lecture?

0:10:08 > 0:10:09I'm going to get it in the neck

0:10:09 > 0:10:12if we keep my mother waiting any longer. We've got to get a move on.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Laura really doesn't know what she's m... Ugh!

0:10:16 > 0:10:18I think the chain's snagged.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29I'm not supposed to answer the door to anybody,

0:10:29 > 0:10:32- so you'll have to go away. - It's Kevin.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Dr Tyler, from The Mill - Mrs Tembe said I should come over.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40I don't need checking up on.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42MUSIC: "So Macho" by Sinitta

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Unless you want to hang out and listen to some music.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50Mrs Tembe said that you might want to have a go driving my car.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56THAT car?

0:10:56 > 0:10:58No way!

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Yes!

0:11:03 > 0:11:04Here, there's an easier way.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Go on, then. I like a woman who knows how to handle a tool.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13I mean, it's good to see

0:11:13 > 0:11:15that you don't mind getting dirty.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Yeah, I'll shut up, shall I?

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Did you draw this?

0:11:27 > 0:11:29It's pretty good.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32- She's a bit rough, but... - I wouldn't go that far.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35No, I mean I'm working on a few ideas for children's books.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38None of it's quite ready yet,

0:11:38 > 0:11:41but a lot of the stuff out there, it kind of talks down to kids.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45Yeah, and the dodgy way that games and comics depict women.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49I see a lot of them down at the youth club, where I volunteer.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55But if you think it needs more work...

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Just, I think you've got something.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59My dad started out as an artist.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03My dad was an academic, but sadly none of it rubbed off on me.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08I can't quite get it to...

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Here, let me have a go.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Where's that chain pin?

0:12:14 > 0:12:15It's just there.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19PHONE RINGS

0:12:23 > 0:12:24Watch your head.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30Laura? Hey, yeah, we're just running a little late.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Do you have any idea how long she might be?

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Chris is usually on time.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42I'm sorry, Emma, I should have warned you - it's the Tilly Factor.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43Oh.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46The cycle chain, it...

0:12:46 > 0:12:47..snagged and then...

0:12:48 > 0:12:51All right, you're here now, let's not waste any more time.

0:12:51 > 0:12:55How about you two order for us, while we go and freshen up.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57Yeah, OK.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01Can we make it something quick? I need to go and see Heston.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Speak of the devil and he shall arrive! May I?

0:13:04 > 0:13:05Please do.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Honestly, if you hadn't turned up just then...

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Some of the things she said about your- mum... She doesn't know about mum's bipolar.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14You're too nice to people, Tilly. Looking after your mum through

0:13:14 > 0:13:17all her problems, now putting up with Emma's snotty attitude.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21You and Chris, you didn't...?

0:13:21 > 0:13:23No! I told you, it was just the bikes.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26He seems all right, though, when he loosens up a bit.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29Don't go there. Believe me, the things Emma was telling me.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32He has a grading system for girls.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Loads of guys have that. I know it's a bit basic,

0:13:34 > 0:13:36the commodification of women and all that, but...

0:13:36 > 0:13:39- You're a seven... - That's not too bad, right?

0:13:39 > 0:13:40Bed it and bin it.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Why would she even tell you that?

0:13:43 > 0:13:46She thought I'd be pleased to know he marked me down as a "keeper".

0:13:46 > 0:13:49I know. I didn't want to tell you, but I won't have him

0:13:49 > 0:13:51making a fool out of you.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Let's just go, Laura.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55If you want to leave, I completely understand.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58But no man degrades a friend of mine like that.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01You're right, I'm going to tell him exactly...

0:14:01 > 0:14:05No, just act cool and let me reel him in for the kill.

0:14:05 > 0:14:06How?

0:14:06 > 0:14:11Easy. First I turn him into a quivering jelly of desire,

0:14:11 > 0:14:13then just when he thinks we're about to get it on,

0:14:13 > 0:14:16total character assassination.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20His manhood will be in tatters by the time I've finished.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25What, that one?

0:14:25 > 0:14:28No! THERE! That's the brake there! Right there -

0:14:28 > 0:14:31in exactly the same place as the last hundred times I showed you.

0:14:31 > 0:14:33All right, keep your hair on!

0:14:33 > 0:14:36Repeat after me - clutch, brake, accelerator. C-B-A.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38- OK, I get it.- Then, say it.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41- Who are you - my dad or something?! - Say it!

0:14:43 > 0:14:45Brake,

0:14:45 > 0:14:47clutch...

0:14:47 > 0:14:49Oh... Hold on, what's the other one?

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Let's have some music. - No, please, don't!

0:14:52 > 0:14:54Get your hands off her!

0:14:55 > 0:14:57That's it, get out!

0:14:57 > 0:14:59One more time! Please!

0:14:59 > 0:15:00I said out!

0:15:06 > 0:15:09All that crowd-baiting high-jinx in modern pantomime

0:15:09 > 0:15:13- is a crass debasement of the original stories.- I couldn't agree more.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15My Cinderella will be a magical

0:15:15 > 0:15:18and uplifting tale of triumph over adversity.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Good over evil.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29I do hope it comes back to her.

0:15:29 > 0:15:32Miss Teale was always a very confident driver.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Even if a little reckless at times.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41..and then a pink elephant landed in the middle of the road.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54And she's so desperate for one of her daughters to marry the prince

0:15:54 > 0:15:57that she gets them to hack off pieces of their own feet to fit

0:15:57 > 0:16:01into the slipper! It's like one of those trashy magazine articles -

0:16:01 > 0:16:03pushy mum pays for daughter's boob job,

0:16:03 > 0:16:05only much more grisly, of course.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08I was thinking of something more along the lines

0:16:08 > 0:16:10of a playful tussle...

0:16:10 > 0:16:15Tilly, I have to go back to work now, so...well, I just wanted to say

0:16:15 > 0:16:19that I hope you know that Chris and I are there for you.

0:16:20 > 0:16:24- Thanks. - I'll see you later. Bye, Heston.

0:16:27 > 0:16:28What was all that about?

0:16:28 > 0:16:32I think your mum's picked up that Tilly's a bit unstable.

0:16:32 > 0:16:36Really? She seems pretty switched on to me.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39Although I don't know what I've done to make her so narky with me

0:16:39 > 0:16:42- all of a sudden.- It's part of the whole fantasy/reality thing.

0:16:42 > 0:16:46The notion that all men are sexual predators out to get her.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49She seems to think you were a bit inappropriate with her.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52- When?- When you were fixing the bike.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- What?!- I know, it's ridiculous. It's best to ignore her

0:16:55 > 0:16:57when she gets like that.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00I can't have her accusing me of stuff.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03Wait! If you say anything, she might kick off,

0:17:03 > 0:17:05make a scene. Let me handle this.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08No, it sounds like she might need help.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10I can sort this.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15Then, when the avenging pigeons peck the sisters' eyes out,

0:17:15 > 0:17:17that's when it REALLY gets going.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22- Sorry to interrupt, Heston. Tilly, can I have a word?- I'm busy.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25If I gave the wrong idea - you know, that thing with the chain pin...

0:17:25 > 0:17:29I'm very well aware you've got no interest in me, other than a quick...

0:17:29 > 0:17:31I think I'd like to go home now.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Excuse me, Heston.- Tilly, wait!

0:17:33 > 0:17:35Tilly!

0:17:45 > 0:17:49Tilly, please... I just want to put things straight.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52I know you don't want some weird girl who's only good for...

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot...

0:17:55 > 0:17:56Ow! Ouch!

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Are you OK?

0:18:00 > 0:18:02I think I've sprained it.

0:18:02 > 0:18:06OK. Um, will you call us a cab, please, while I have a look at this?

0:18:10 > 0:18:13My real-life Prince Charming.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17TYRES SCREECH

0:18:19 > 0:18:21I tried, I really tried!

0:18:23 > 0:18:28That ancient Karen who can work computers and raise kids

0:18:28 > 0:18:31and drive cars - she's gone!

0:18:31 > 0:18:35And all I'm left with is this stupid, middle-aged,

0:18:35 > 0:18:38useless shell of a woman, and I don't want it!

0:18:39 > 0:18:44Hey, look, the gobby Karen I know is still in there, somewhere

0:18:44 > 0:18:49and she wouldn't give in because of one messed-up driving lesson.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51Come on, I'll take you home.

0:18:51 > 0:18:56You can play some of that dodgy '80s music you like.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Still in there somewhere...

0:19:10 > 0:19:11Karen, what are you doing?

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Come on, don't mess about.

0:19:17 > 0:19:18Open the door.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Karen!

0:19:22 > 0:19:24STARTS ENGINE

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Karen, open the door!

0:19:26 > 0:19:28- DR TYLER LAUGHS NERVOUSLY - Open the door!

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Open the door!

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Karen!

0:19:34 > 0:19:36TYRES SCREECH

0:19:36 > 0:19:37HE SCREAMS

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Ooh, that's good. A bit higher, maybe.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42There's no swelling or bruising.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45See if you can put any weight on it.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47I need you to have a word with Tilly for me,

0:19:47 > 0:19:50tell her she's got me all wrong.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52It's all right, Chris, I understand you.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00The cab's here.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24ENGINE ROARS

0:20:29 > 0:20:33I did it! I did it!

0:20:35 > 0:20:39I, er, I ended it with Hamara.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45That can't have been easy.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49But if it didn't feel right...

0:20:50 > 0:20:52And you'd know all about that.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57I know it takes courage to do what you did.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Breaking her heart, shaming her family -

0:21:01 > 0:21:03that makes me the big hero, does it?

0:21:05 > 0:21:09Whatever you feel right now, living a lie would be much worse.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Is that what you told yourself when you dumped me?

0:21:15 > 0:21:17No...

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Don't, Jas.

0:21:26 > 0:21:30If I could put any weight on this foot, I'd escape with you.

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Can you believe he came on to me

0:21:32 > 0:21:33when he was supposed to be looking at my ankle?

0:21:33 > 0:21:36Yeah, well, I see lots of reeling but no kill.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Hold on, where are you going?

0:21:41 > 0:21:43- You want your revenge, you'll get it.- No!- I- need to do this.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46Haven't you been humiliated enough, Tilly?

0:21:46 > 0:21:50Trust me - the only way to deal with sexist schemers like him

0:21:50 > 0:21:51is my way.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

0:22:09 > 0:22:13Whoa! What are you doing? Get off!

0:22:13 > 0:22:15It's time to stop playing games now, we both know you want this.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18- Get off me! - SHE LAUGHS

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Just for a moment, I thought she had it wrong about you.

0:22:21 > 0:22:24That I'd seen something decent and gentle

0:22:24 > 0:22:27and real behind the arrogant, sexist...number monster!

0:22:27 > 0:22:31What?! Whatever is going on with you two...

0:22:31 > 0:22:35No man treats me like some bargain-bucket two-for-one special!

0:22:35 > 0:22:39I'm not a seven, I'm a person - a REAL person,

0:22:39 > 0:22:42with real feelings, and until you start treating women...

0:22:43 > 0:22:46..REAL women with a little respect,

0:22:46 > 0:22:49you'll remain just a sad and lonely zero!

0:22:49 > 0:22:50I've had enough of this!

0:22:50 > 0:22:54- If you think you can just come back here and be all...- And what?!

0:22:54 > 0:22:58Assert my right not to be belittled, demeaned, insulted?

0:22:58 > 0:22:59Bed it and bin it?

0:22:59 > 0:23:02It's pathetic.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04Is that's really the best alliteration you can come up with?

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Firstly, I don't know what you're talking about!

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Whatever crazy ideas you've got in your head

0:23:09 > 0:23:10about me coming onto you...

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Coming on to me...?! When?!

0:23:26 > 0:23:30- Why?- You're so clever, why don't you work it out

0:23:30 > 0:23:32and stick it in your thesis?

0:23:34 > 0:23:35Please don't beg.

0:23:39 > 0:23:40Excuse me.

0:23:41 > 0:23:42I'm an idiot.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46I'm MORE of an idiot.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Forget about her. I'm an idiot because it's taken me

0:23:49 > 0:23:52all of 12 hours to realise just how...

0:23:52 > 0:23:55bold and brilliant

0:23:55 > 0:23:57and beautiful and...

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Just shut up!

0:24:11 > 0:24:14I even gave up my job because her dad had this big-shot career

0:24:14 > 0:24:16all lined up - it was him who sent me on that course.

0:24:16 > 0:24:22I've let everyone down - her family, my family... And for what?

0:24:22 > 0:24:25Us?

0:24:25 > 0:24:28We have a chance now, Aran, a real chance of happiness.

0:24:28 > 0:24:29How?

0:24:29 > 0:24:33How can I ever be happy with you, when every time I see you, I...?

0:24:33 > 0:24:35I've got nothing left.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38No job, no family...

0:24:38 > 0:24:41- No future...- You've got me now.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44If you'll let me in this one last time,

0:24:44 > 0:24:46I swear I'll never let you go again.

0:24:49 > 0:24:50It's too late, Jas.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53I came to tell you I'm going away.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56No, you can't! Not now.

0:24:56 > 0:25:00Aran, wait! What about the dreams we had?

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Now we have a real chance.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Without our friends or family watching over us.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07We don't even need to tell them! A new start...

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Nothing changes, does it? You think you can just drag me somewhere new

0:25:12 > 0:25:14then leave me when the excitement wears off?

0:25:14 > 0:25:17- Trust me, it's not like that. - Or is this your way of saving face

0:25:17 > 0:25:19when that nagging doubt starts to kick in again?

0:25:19 > 0:25:21That fear of ever really committing.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23I've had enough of you hijacking my life.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25No! Aran, you're the one.

0:25:25 > 0:25:29You're the ONLY one - I know that now.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31It's just words, Jas.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Thanks, Kev, that was brill!

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Bit of a breakthrough, eh?

0:25:48 > 0:25:50HORN BEEPS, MUSIC STARTS

0:25:50 > 0:25:54- # We-e-e-e-e-ell... # - What's going on?

0:25:54 > 0:25:57# You know you make me wanna shout

0:25:57 > 0:25:59- # Look, my hand's jumpin' - Shout!- Look, my heart's pumpin'

0:25:59 > 0:26:01- # Shout!- Throw my head back

0:26:01 > 0:26:03- # Shout!- Come on now

0:26:03 > 0:26:04# Say that you love me

0:26:04 > 0:26:06# Say that you need me

0:26:06 > 0:26:08# Say that you want me Ain't going to leave me... #

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Oh, I love this one!

0:26:10 > 0:26:13# Come on now, come on now

0:26:13 > 0:26:17# Come on now I still remember... #

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Dr Khella! What on earth do you think you are doing?!

0:26:21 > 0:26:26Dr Tyler! Dr Tyler, afternoon surgery started one minute ago!

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Come on, Mrs T, let your wig down!

0:26:29 > 0:26:30Release your inner Lulu!

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Oh, my...

0:26:35 > 0:26:38You always were a complete nutter.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40No more words.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Yay!- Aww!

0:26:45 > 0:26:48# I said I want you to know right now

0:26:48 > 0:26:52# You have been good to me, baby

0:26:52 > 0:26:55# Better than I've been to myself

0:26:55 > 0:26:58# You know, you make me wanna shout

0:26:58 > 0:27:00# Wooo! Shout!

0:27:00 > 0:27:02# Wooo! Shout! #

0:27:06 > 0:27:09- Hi, Dad.- Leave me alone. - Ron, it's only Ellen.

0:27:09 > 0:27:10I don't want her here. Ger her out!

0:27:10 > 0:27:12We actually accomplish more

0:27:12 > 0:27:14when we face the challenges in our lives head on.

0:27:14 > 0:27:19Not that... I'm not sure about THIS decision you understand.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22I bet you fancy a bit of dressing up.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25Not even in your wildest fantasies.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26Either of you.

0:27:37 > 0:27:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd