0:00:31 > 0:00:33BIRDS SING
0:00:39 > 0:00:41HE GROANS
0:00:41 > 0:00:45"He's so masculine. He's got muscles in all the right places.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50"Phil. Philip. I've always liked that name.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54"He WILL ring today. I know he will."
0:01:03 > 0:01:04KNOCK ON DOOR
0:01:05 > 0:01:07KNOCKING CONTINUES
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Ms Barlow? Ms Barlow? It's the bailiffs. We know you're there.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17MUSIC: "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood
0:01:17 > 0:01:19SHE PANTS
0:01:22 > 0:01:24What are you doing?!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- BREATHLESS:- I'm... I'm getting in shape! You should.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29- I don't think so.- You should!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Get fit for the Christmas parties!
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I've got all this flab, it's disgusting.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Look, I've got to go to work...
0:01:36 > 0:01:38I've got to ask you something important.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44You haven't been reading my journal, have you?
0:01:44 > 0:01:50You shouldn't. It's got some very important and personal thoughts
0:01:50 > 0:01:52and feelings about my life.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56OK. I'll continue to not read your journal then.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Have you looked at that wiki site yet?
0:01:59 > 0:02:05No, I've been too busy. It's, erm, boring stuff from boring people.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Not necessarily.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09What do you mean?
0:02:09 > 0:02:12There is only one way to find out. I've gotta go.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Have a nice day, yeah?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19SHE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:02:23 > 0:02:27Clare. Can you come into the office, quick chat?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30OK. I'll just finish putting these out.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31All right, yeah.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38- SANTA DOLL:- Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas!
0:02:38 > 0:02:39COLLEAGUES GIGGLE
0:02:39 > 0:02:42That's better. Bit of festive spirit!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I'll see you in a couple of minutes.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34- You wanted to see me. - Yeah, sit down.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38You can take the hat off in here.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47OK. You've completed the two-week work experience.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Unfortunately...we, erm...
0:03:55 > 0:03:57We aren't able to offer you a permanent position.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01I was promised a job.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02Not promised, no.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06The understanding is you do the two-week trial period...
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Work for nothing.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13The TRIAL period - which is unpaid, yeah -
0:04:13 > 0:04:16then you could graduate to paid employment.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22But in this case, there just isn't a job to give you.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I can't offer you any hours at all.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26But they're stopping my benefits.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I've had the bailiffs round, I'm going to lose my flat...
0:04:28 > 0:04:30The whole company is having to cut back.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I may even have to make some real employees redundant.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38Real employees? They're kids. They haven't got a clue.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40I work harder than all of them!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Yeah, well, that's partly the problem.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Older employees, like yourself...
0:04:45 > 0:04:47I'm 38!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50And as such you're very expensive to employ.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Someone just out of school, 16 or 17, is cheaper.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Plus, the skills you had in the army -
0:05:00 > 0:05:03blowing things up or whatever...
0:05:03 > 0:05:05I did not blow things up.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08There isn't a place for you in the Brilliant Bargains family.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09I'm sorry.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Then I want paying for the work I've done.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Clare, you signed a contract.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21You agreed to work the trial period unpaid on the hope,
0:05:21 > 0:05:25not the guarantee, that you would then move to paid employment.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29You agreed to the terms. Even if you took us to court, you couldn't win.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Look, I'll write you a reference. A good reference.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I'm sure you'll find something soon.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45Tell you what. Have some chocolate.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49It always makes me feel better. Free gift.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50After all, it is Christmas.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54SHE SIGHS
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- To be honest, I'm not happy with this either.- No?
0:05:59 > 0:06:03It doesn't work. Taking on the long-term unemployed.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Most of them are unemployable.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Depressed or alcoholic or whatever.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Or just plain skivers.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14People like that are a liability!
0:06:16 > 0:06:17OK.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Oh, flaming Ada!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Oh...
0:07:05 > 0:07:08PHONE RINGS
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Hello?- Al. It's me, Karen.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh, hi. How's the house?
0:07:13 > 0:07:17Erm...have you got any decorations?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Christmas decorations?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21- Obviously! - Well, I haven't got any.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Why not?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I don't celebrate Christmas.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Al, you are so sad!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Karen, I have to get back to work.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32There's been another outbreak of hypochondria.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Then you should be grateful for me calling.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Take your mind off the moany patients with their
0:07:39 > 0:07:41boring problems.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42SHE GASPS
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I've got a really brilliant idea.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- What?- I'm going to buy decorations. I've got loads of money.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51And I'll put them up and turn the house into a Christmas grotto!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Yeah, I quite like it how it is...
0:07:54 > 0:08:00I'm trying to do something nice for you, letting me stay.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04That's very sweet of you. Just, er, don't go mad.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07I won't! I'm going to take care of everything.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09All right, see you later.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Excuse me, love, where are your razors, please?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16- Just down there.- Thanks.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Natalie, can you put them singing baubles out?
0:08:22 > 0:08:23They're our top sellers.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Paul, I want you to stay on Christmas trees.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Clare, you have to give that uniform back...
0:08:32 > 0:08:34What are you doing?!
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Give me your keys, Elaine. - What? No!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Give me your keys, Elaine!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Please, d...
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Shut up! Against the wall - all of you.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Matt.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Get their phones. Everyone, phones off, in the basket.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Do it now!
0:08:53 > 0:08:557244 to Control.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57RADIO STATIC
0:08:57 > 0:09:01Urgent assistance with an armed response unit required
0:09:01 > 0:09:04at Brilliant Bargains, in Shopping City. IC-1 female threatening staff
0:09:04 > 0:09:07- with a gun.- You won't get given a job by threatening everyone...
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I said SHUT UP!
0:09:09 > 0:09:13- Police is on their way. - No, they're not. Don't lie to me.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Yes, they are! Matt's called them.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19There's a panic alarm, police will be here in minutes!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21And armed officers, SWAT teams - everyone!
0:09:21 > 0:09:25Don't make me laugh. There isn't a panic alarm.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30Brilliant Bargains does EVERYTHING on the cheap.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34You think they care about protecting the staff?!
0:09:34 > 0:09:35I can do what I like.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38And no-one's coming to help you.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40What do you want? If it's money...
0:09:40 > 0:09:44I wanted a job. I wanted some respect!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I've fought for my country.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50All of you accept, sell rubbish to people
0:09:50 > 0:09:52who can't afford anything else!
0:09:52 > 0:09:57And YOU think you're better than me?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59It's too late now.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01SANTA DOLL: Merry Christmas!
0:10:06 > 0:10:08MUSIC: "Merry Xmas Everybody" by Slade plays
0:10:10 > 0:10:12PHONE RINGS
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- Hello? - Is that Karen?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Speaking. Who is this?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Phil, from last night. In the pub?
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- Phil!- How are doing, darling, all right? What you up to?
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Erm, I'm... I'm just putting the decorations up.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36- Superb. Listen, have you had lunch? - No.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I'm in town on business. Want to meet up?
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Yeah. I'll come to you! W-Where are you?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46The pub we met in last night, you remember it?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Yeah! I wasn't that drunk.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50About half an hour?
0:10:50 > 0:10:55That'd be brilliant! Thanks for ringing, Phil.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I mean, I knew you would.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59I've been thinking about you and...
0:10:59 > 0:11:01See you in a bit, OK?
0:11:01 > 0:11:02OK, OK. Bye.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Yes!
0:11:09 > 0:11:11SHE SIGHS
0:11:11 > 0:11:13You see? The police have been called.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Actually, I was just in here shopping.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19But I have called for back up. Armed response is on its way.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21You're lying.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Why wouldn't I?
0:11:24 > 0:11:28- Clare, why are you doing this? - Cos of her.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31She called us a skiver!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- I didn't mean you, specifically... - Shut up!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37But what do you achieve by shooting your fellow employees?
0:11:37 > 0:11:42They're not my fellow employees. They wouldn't even give me a job!
0:11:42 > 0:11:45OK, yeah. You know, you probably could
0:11:45 > 0:11:48keep us all at gunpoint, but it's tricky.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Keeping tabs on one, two, three,
0:11:52 > 0:11:57four, five, six, seven... eight of us.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59SANTA TOY PLAYS CHRISTMAS CAROL
0:11:59 > 0:12:01You're right.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05Everyone else, go in the stockroom. You lock them in.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09There's one condition.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- What's that? - You take their place.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's OK.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25MUSIC: "Let's Dance" by David Bowie
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Now give me the keys.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Go and stand over there.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18You don't mind if I...?
0:13:22 > 0:13:26CHRISTMAS CAROL CONTINUES
0:13:26 > 0:13:28CHRISTMAS CAROL STOPS
0:13:28 > 0:13:30That's better, Clare. You don't mind if I call you Clare?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I'm Sergeant Rob Hollins.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35- I know what you're trying to do. - What's that?- Build a rapport.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41And the way you do that, Rob, is by using my name a lot, Rob.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Making out you're my friend.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Getting me to see you as a human being, all that.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Ah, well. It was worth a try.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Take the weight off.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01SIREN WAILS
0:14:04 > 0:14:09There's your colleagues. Armed officers won't be far behind.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10And a negotiator, of course.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Weren't in the SAS, were you?
0:14:13 > 0:14:17Regular army. But I know how it works. They'll wait.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20They won't bust in here, not as long as I have a hostage and the gun.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22They won't dare, in case I shoot you.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23So it'll be a siege.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28And the less of a target I am, the better.
0:14:30 > 0:14:31They'll try and talk to you.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Find anyone who knows you, and get them to talk to you.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Good luck with that.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- There's no-one who knows me. - No family?
0:14:41 > 0:14:42I said no-one.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I thought I was having a bad Christmas.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- Hello. - Hello, you. You're looking gorgeous.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59- What do you want to drink? - Can I have a Babycham, please?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- LAUGHING:- Babycham?!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03They don't make them any more, do they? Can I have a Chardonnay?
0:15:03 > 0:15:07I like fine wine. I've got money, so...
0:15:07 > 0:15:08Put it away. I'm paying.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11You're a gentleman.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Are you going to take that coat off, or aren't you staying?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- Where'd you serve?- Everywhere.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Iraq, Afghanistan, Kosovo,
0:15:21 > 0:15:23ex-Yugoslavia - no-one remembers that.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- You're still trying to do it. - Doing what?
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Bond with me.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35Unless I'm genuinely interested. Why did you leave?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39I'd had enough. Done it long enough.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44There was someone, same regiment.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47We were going to be discharged together.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Go and run a pub in Cornwall.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51He stepped on an IED.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55I'm sorry.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01If he'd lost his legs, or gone blind, anything...
0:16:01 > 0:16:04I'd have stayed and looked after him, but...
0:16:04 > 0:16:05there was nothing.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08He was blown to bits.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Bringing the body back home, there was hardly enough
0:16:12 > 0:16:13to go in a Jiffy bag.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18I couldn't stay after that. I'd have been a liability. So...
0:16:20 > 0:16:26So just in case you think I'm not really going to do this...
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I could.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29It doesn't matter what I do.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36I could kill them all. And you. And myself.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I've nothing left to lose.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Really? Never married?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Nope. Footloose and fancy-free.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49I am now. I was married but it was the biggest mistake I ever made.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53You don't look old enough to be married.
0:16:53 > 0:16:54That was the problem, I wasn't!
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Have you seen the film Educating Rita?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59- No.- It's got Julie Walters in it.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02She wants to go back to university, to try and find herself,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05but her husband doesn't want her to, he's horrible.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08So she leaves him. It's a brilliant film.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09And that's me.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12So now you think it's time to have some adventures?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Do something outrageous?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18What's the most outrageous thing you've done?
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Streaked through Manchester Piccadilly.- No?! Really?!
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- To adventures.- Yeah!
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Let's get you another drink. Same again?
0:17:29 > 0:17:32What about you? Bet you've done some outrageous stuff already.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Have you ever fancied somebody that you shouldn't?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41- Haven't we all? - No, I mean REALLY shouldn't.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Friend of mine, she met this bloke...
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Wake up, there's people dying of thirst here!
0:17:48 > 0:17:49And anyway...
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Don't worry about it, love.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54OK, I won't!
0:17:57 > 0:17:58"Clare Barlow."
0:18:01 > 0:18:02I know your name.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06You were in the paper, you were on television.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08You won a medal.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11For bravery. So what?
0:18:14 > 0:18:15What did you do to get it?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Rescued a little girl from a snipers' alley.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22That's not brave. I wasn't doing it to be brave.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24You just do it cos it needs doing.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- You understand that, or you wouldn't be here.- Yeah, I do.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Anyway, it doesn't make a difference.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32It did to the little girl.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Maybe.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37But you know what?
0:18:37 > 0:18:40In civvy street, no-one gives a toss.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41I do.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44It doesn't get me a job, or a place to live.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48I'm going to be on the streets by New Year.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52The home for old soldiers.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53And that is wrong.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56You were brave.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58No matter what you think, you were brave.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01But that's why I don't get it.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05You don't seem like the sort of person who'd point
0:19:05 > 0:19:07a gun at women and teenagers.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12You say you've nothing to lose, but you have.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- Like what?- Pride.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Self-respect. Cos you're not a criminal.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22I should know, I've met enough of them.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26You're not a murderer. This isn't you.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28It is now.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33So you kill someone, spend the rest of your life in prison?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35And if I don't? You think, even if I
0:19:35 > 0:19:37give myself up now, I'd just get a telling-off?
0:19:37 > 0:19:40No. Of course not, you'd be in trouble. Serious trouble.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41But you put the gun down on your own accord
0:19:41 > 0:19:44and that would really count in your favour.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46It's too late.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47It's not too late.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50It was too late the moment I walked in with a gun.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53You can't go back from that.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Only way I'm getting out of here is in a body bag.- No.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00No, you're wrong. There is another way.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03You give me the gun, and we walk out of here.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Yeah(!) Into a hail of bullets.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09- Not if I stand in front of you. - A human shield?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13- You'd do that?- (Yeah, I would.)
0:20:15 > 0:20:17I don't want you getting shot.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18That would be such a waste,
0:20:18 > 0:20:20because you are too good for that.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24I'll protect you. That's my job - serve and protect.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28So...please, Clare, just...
0:20:29 > 0:20:30..let me do my job.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- It's a big risk.- Come on.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41This place sucks. Let me buy you a drink.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I really wish we could.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Maybe one day.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53But we can walk out of here.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Oh, please, Clare.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Give me the gun.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02SHE LAUGHS
0:21:06 > 0:21:11You know what? You know what? It's not even loaded.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14I just wanted to scare them.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17So take it. Knock yourself out.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18GLASS SMASHES
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- ARMED POLICE, ARMED POLICE! - No!- PUT THE GUN DOWN, PUT THE...
0:21:26 > 0:21:28HE LAUGHS
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Oops! - What are you like?
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- I'm not used to drinking at lunchtime!- I can tell.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36I'd better give you a lift home, and make you some coffee.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40I think I prefer older men.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42What you doing with me then?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44SHE CHUCKLES
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- You're daft as a brush, you. Get in. - HE SPANKS HER
0:22:04 > 0:22:07MUSIC: "I Can't Pretend" by Tom Odell
0:22:09 > 0:22:13There he is. He's a hero!
0:22:15 > 0:22:18He saved all our lives.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20THEY APPLAUD
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Look at this, Phil, I decorated it all myself.
0:22:27 > 0:22:33Look? It's fibre-optic.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Isn't it beautiful?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Come here.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42- Oh!- Karen, mmm. You're lovely.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- Erm, wait!- Beautiful woman.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Mistletoe.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- Mistletoe.- It's romantic.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Yeah.
0:22:57 > 0:22:58How are you feeling?
0:23:00 > 0:23:04You've had a shock. You should go home, take it easy.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Yeah, some chance.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Doctor's orders.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- Do you know how Clare is? - The shooter?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Except she wasn't.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19She's in hospital. Stable as far as I know.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Suppose she'll go straight from there to remand.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- It isn't right. - What do you suggest?
0:23:27 > 0:23:28We let her go?
0:23:28 > 0:23:31The way we treat ex-armed forces.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32And she wouldn't have shot anyone.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35She shouldn't wave a gun around then, should she?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38You can't do that then complain when someone shoots you,
0:23:38 > 0:23:39even if it was by accident.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Rob, you didn't know the gun wasn't loaded.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49What you did was... Putting your life at risk like that...
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- ..was extremely brave. - No, it wasn't.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57I wasn't being brave.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I just don't care what happens to me.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Well, a lot of other people do.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- That was wonderful. - For me too.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Don't go, Phil. Stay the night. My housemate won't mind.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17He won't be back for hours.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19And I've got some Baileys downstairs.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Sweetheart, I'd love to.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24But I've got a really early start in the morning.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27I'm speaking at a sales conference in Wolverhampton.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I've got to get my beauty sleep and work on my PowerPoint.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- We'll see each other again?- Yeah!
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I'll check the diary and I'll call you tomorrow.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44- Bye, lover.- Take care.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53HE RUNS DOWNSTAIRS
0:24:55 > 0:24:57DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
0:25:23 > 0:25:25"Me and Phil made love for the first time today."
0:25:25 > 0:25:27HE SOBS
0:25:27 > 0:25:30"He's so strong and powerful and tender
0:25:30 > 0:25:33"and sensitive, and soooo dead sexy!
0:25:34 > 0:25:38"We're right together, we're soul mates. It was meant.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40"And we've got together just in time for the holidays.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45"This is going to be the best Christmas EVER."
0:25:47 > 0:25:49SHE UNDERLINES "EVER"
0:25:50 > 0:25:53- Do you know who I am? - A prat in a hat?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Uglies!
0:25:55 > 0:25:56"Cinders, what's the matter with you?
0:25:56 > 0:25:58"My breakfast in bed is long overdue."
0:25:58 > 0:25:59Do you have a sense of humour?
0:25:59 > 0:26:03I have spent my morning dealing with potentially hazardous situations.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07If my scene change isn't to your satisfaction, why don't you do it?
0:26:07 > 0:26:08With or without the bloomers.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11If I cannot speak, then may I kiss your...?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13SHE LAUGHS
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd