Charm School

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03THEME TUNE

0:00:29 > 0:00:32Welcome, welcome.

0:00:32 > 0:00:33Please take a seat.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Is that everyone?

0:00:42 > 0:00:44Then let us begin.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Guess who's deemed to grace the university

0:00:57 > 0:00:59with her illustrious presence.

0:01:00 > 0:01:05As you arrived, I made a split-second judgment about your personality,

0:01:05 > 0:01:09your manners, your suitability, mostly based on how you look.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12And that is exactly what he will do.

0:01:13 > 0:01:19Who is HE? He's the "affluent man of your dreams".

0:01:19 > 0:01:21He is your ticket to a better life.

0:01:21 > 0:01:25So how do you bewitch and beguile this perfect gentleman?

0:01:27 > 0:01:31Over the next four hours, I will give you my proven formula for success.

0:01:32 > 0:01:33It worked for me.

0:01:35 > 0:01:39I am here and I am available, but commitment is a two-way street.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- I'm sure the irony's not lost on you.- Isn't it?

0:01:43 > 0:01:47A very capable temp receptionist who adores the Mill,

0:01:47 > 0:01:49but might be forced to leave,

0:01:49 > 0:01:51and a permanent receptionist who...

0:01:51 > 0:01:53PHONE RINGS

0:01:53 > 0:01:54One moment.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Hello, the Mill Health Centre, how may I help?

0:01:59 > 0:02:01I'll be with you in one moment.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03- Hello again.- Can I talk to you?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Yeah, course you can, come on round.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16How come Lady Muck's slumming it in Letherbridge?

0:02:16 > 0:02:18- Hubby not giving you enough pocket money?- Zoe?

0:02:19 > 0:02:21My spies told me you were here.

0:02:23 > 0:02:24You've changed.

0:02:24 > 0:02:25Be a bit weird if I hadn't.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Three years.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29I did try phoning and e-mailing.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33There's only so many unanswered messages I can leave.

0:02:33 > 0:02:34What d'you expect

0:02:34 > 0:02:37when you won't even throw me a few crumbs from your Swiss penthouse?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39So our relationship

0:02:39 > 0:02:42was based entirely on those generous monthly payments?

0:02:42 > 0:02:46"Our relationship"?! You dictated the terms of that one, not me.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49Well, I hope your lack of a trust fund hasn't been too traumatic

0:02:49 > 0:02:52now that you're old enough to make your own way in life.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54What, by marrying myself a sugar daddy?

0:02:54 > 0:02:57I see you're giving lessons on that now.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00And how's your daddy? Still sponging off the state?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Dad's great. He's taking me out to lunch later.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05My birthday.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Remember?- Yes, of course.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Happy birthday. I haven't forgotten. I just hadn't got round...- Forget it.

0:03:17 > 0:03:18No mum today?

0:03:18 > 0:03:20She couldn't make it.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Actually, she wasn't invited.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24So she's out of the competition?

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Competition?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28Guess the mystery illness.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31Well, it isn't a mystery.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35I know what's wrong with me.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Excellent, that saves me a lot of work.

0:03:37 > 0:03:38What's your verdict?

0:03:40 > 0:03:42I'm pregnant.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48As always, the shoulders are back.

0:03:48 > 0:03:52The chin is level and stable, not bobbing around like a cork in water.

0:03:52 > 0:03:56Retain this dignified deportment as you take neat, well-measured steps.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Don't think of it as walking,

0:03:58 > 0:04:02so much as gliding with impeccable poise and...grace.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Are you here for the seminar?

0:04:05 > 0:04:06Why don't you join us?

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Pathetic!

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Zoe, wait! Agh!

0:04:17 > 0:04:20Why don't you take an early coffee break

0:04:20 > 0:04:23while I get some medical attention?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Given the timing of your last cycle, you're at 14 weeks.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34That gives us a due date of...

0:04:36 > 0:04:39..7th of July. August. 7th August.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42But there won't be a due date.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46- You want to have a termination? - Yeah.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51This is a long conversation.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55There are many issues to consider, especially given your age.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Yes. I appreciate that.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01Unfortunately, you're too far along to take the abortion pill.

0:05:02 > 0:05:07So the foetus will have to be surgically removed?

0:05:07 > 0:05:08Correct.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Then that's the only option.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14If the pregnancy's to be terminated,

0:05:14 > 0:05:16then, yes, that's the only option.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19But there are alternatives, Fliss.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23You don't think I should have the baby, do you?

0:05:23 > 0:05:25That's not for me to say.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Isn't it?

0:05:26 > 0:05:29No. I'm here to give you the facts.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Make you aware of the options that are available to you.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Even if I did offer up an opinion,

0:05:35 > 0:05:38it wouldn't be nearly as relevant as that of your mum and dad.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43- I take it that they're not aware of this?- No.

0:05:45 > 0:05:46And they mustn't find out.

0:05:47 > 0:05:5120 minutes? In Zurich, I'd be seen within five.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54A bit of Swiss-style efficiency wouldn't go amiss here.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56I'm sorry, Mrs...?

0:05:56 > 0:06:01Dupont, Laura Dupont. I don't suppose the name means anything to you?

0:06:01 > 0:06:03No. Should it?

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Perhaps, if you read the society pages.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10No doubt you are a very important person. But there is no

0:06:10 > 0:06:14queue-jumping here. You have to wait your turn, like everyone else.

0:06:16 > 0:06:20Behind these layabouts!? I need some high-dosage painkillers pronto.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22PHONE RINGS

0:06:22 > 0:06:24The Campus Surgery, good morning.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Hello!- Hello.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Are you a celebrity or something?

0:06:30 > 0:06:31Fancy a cuppa?

0:06:35 > 0:06:36I was an accident.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41Dad wanted to get rid of it, get rid of me.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43Mum didn't want another kid either...

0:06:44 > 0:06:47..but she's always believed that abortion is wrong.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49So she stuck to her guns.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Your mum's situation was a long time ago.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54I'm sure that she'll view this differently.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Because I'm underage?

0:06:56 > 0:06:58- Yes.- That's irrelevant.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02She won't ditch her convictions because of my situation.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04I was born because of those convictions.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11The next few days, weeks, they're going to be really tough.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Your mind seems to be made up,

0:07:14 > 0:07:19but abortion isn't a formality, certainly not at 14 weeks.

0:07:21 > 0:07:25You are really going to need your family's support, their guidance.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32If I tell Mum, she'll pressure me into keeping the baby.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34I know she will.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44You might want to wear some flats until your back's better.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46Hell will freeze over first.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Definitely glam.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51My masseur will sort out any lingering problems.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Alas, he's in Zurich and I need a quick fix.

0:07:54 > 0:07:55How long is this going to take?

0:07:55 > 0:07:57My students are waiting for me.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59- You're a lecturer?- Just for the day.

0:08:02 > 0:08:09"How to Bewitch, Beguile and Keep the Affluent Man of Your Dreams."

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Bit old-fashioned, isn't it?

0:08:11 > 0:08:13What happened to women's lib

0:08:13 > 0:08:16and Germaine Greer and burning your bra?

0:08:17 > 0:08:19I wouldn't call myself a feminist.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Instinctively, men are hunter-gatherers.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23They like to look after women,

0:08:23 > 0:08:26physically, emotionally and financially.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28Are you in the market for a millionaire?

0:08:29 > 0:08:32Well, yeah, if it gets me out of this place!

0:08:32 > 0:08:34I have a last-minute cancellation,

0:08:34 > 0:08:38I could squeeze you in for a heavily discounted price.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Yeah, go on, then. It sounds a laugh.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47I know what the operation involves.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50I know that it'll be painful and upsetting.

0:08:50 > 0:08:55And I know that I might grieve for the unborn child.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57But I'm prepared for that.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58No doubt.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02But it's a lot to go through, on your own.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Sharing it with someone will make it so much easier.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08I have shared it, with you.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Is there no-one else you can confide in?

0:09:13 > 0:09:16- One of your brothers maybe? - They'd tell Mum.

0:09:17 > 0:09:18An aunt or a cousin?

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Who's your best mate?

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Katie's cool, but she's a gossip.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29I might as well announce it in assembly.

0:09:30 > 0:09:36The father of the... is he aware of the situation?

0:09:36 > 0:09:38Yeah, he knows.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40What was his reaction?

0:09:40 > 0:09:42He was really shocked, upset.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46- Did he suggest that you get an abortion?- No. I suggested it.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Is he older than you?

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Only by a few months.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53He's...unreliable.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59This is starting to feel like an interrogation.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03I'm sorry. I really don't mean it to.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08It's just that I have to be certain that there aren't other issues.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10"Issues"? Like what?

0:10:13 > 0:10:16When you had sex, was it consensual?

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Yes, of course. He's a really nice guy.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22We get on...

0:10:23 > 0:10:25We did get on.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28But this has ruined that.

0:10:30 > 0:10:31It's ruined everything.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35You're not going to tell my mum, are you?

0:10:37 > 0:10:40- No.- D'you promise?- I promise.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46Thank you for your time. You've been really nice.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50- We're not quite done yet.- I've taken up so much of your time already.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57Climbing out of a stretch limousine can be an ungainly manoeuvre,

0:10:57 > 0:11:00and the paparazzi can be famously indiscreet.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04And so take a moment to compose yourself

0:11:04 > 0:11:07and check for any last-minute wardrobe malfunctions.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Ensure your dress isn't trussed-up or liable to rip.

0:11:10 > 0:11:16Wait for your driver to open the door, calmly exhale, and then...

0:11:18 > 0:11:22..once your footing is secure, smile graciously

0:11:22 > 0:11:26and rise from the limousine in one smooth and flowing movement.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28Like so... RIPPING

0:11:32 > 0:11:34Brian?!

0:11:34 > 0:11:35Hello.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Marvellous!

0:11:40 > 0:11:42I could look at it all day.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47I will never forget those brave, smiling faces,

0:11:47 > 0:11:51happily enthralled by our little show.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54I know. I know. It's unbelievably poignant.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58We must have it framed. You can take it with you.

0:12:00 > 0:12:01A parting gift.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04SHE SOBS

0:12:07 > 0:12:09I'll be out of your hair in a minute.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Just having a gander at the refurb.

0:12:14 > 0:12:15I'm on the board of governors.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17Quite an honour

0:12:17 > 0:12:21for a sporadically-employed painter-decorator.

0:12:21 > 0:12:22Gave that up years ago.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24A long story.

0:12:27 > 0:12:31About ten years ago, I met this guy in the local.

0:12:31 > 0:12:32Turns out he's a hedge fund manager.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36He sort of took me under his wing.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Before long, I was playing the markets myself.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Fortunately, I got out before the bubble burst.

0:12:41 > 0:12:46- And now?- Now I'm...semi-retired.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Surely you didn't make that much money?

0:12:49 > 0:12:51I keep busy.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Split my time between the golf course

0:12:53 > 0:12:55and doing a bit of charity work.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58I'm very interested in the environment,

0:12:58 > 0:13:01so I do my bit, try and give something back.

0:13:03 > 0:13:08You never thought I'd make anything of myself, did you?

0:13:08 > 0:13:10I wouldn't say that.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12I just didn't see you as a...businessman.

0:13:14 > 0:13:18- Better let you get back to your protegees.- Brian?

0:13:18 > 0:13:21Zoe said that you were taking her out to lunch later.

0:13:21 > 0:13:22You've seen her already?

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Just briefly.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Would it be unreasonable if I invited myself along?

0:13:27 > 0:13:29I'd like to spend more time with you both.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36Yeah, all right. Just like old times, eh?

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Happy families!

0:13:41 > 0:13:42I haven't booked anything,

0:13:42 > 0:13:47but I'll get us a table at the gourmet gaff round the corner.

0:13:48 > 0:13:49I'll see you there!

0:13:54 > 0:13:58He seems nice, and a millionaire. Who is he?

0:13:59 > 0:14:02My, er, ex-husband.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09We've been here before? And yet you came back.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13There's no reason why you won't come back for a third time.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16So, I'm definitely going this time, then?

0:14:16 > 0:14:19The situation with Karen is very complicated.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21We've no idea what the future holds.

0:14:22 > 0:14:26But in the meantime, there is work to be done!

0:14:26 > 0:14:27Mm.

0:14:28 > 0:14:33Even in my darkest hour, you've always been very comforting, Heston.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35I've often said to Ashley that,

0:14:35 > 0:14:38of all my gorgeous friends and colleagues at the Mill,

0:14:38 > 0:14:40you are the gorgeous-est.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43That's, erm... Thank you.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48Looks really good. Brings out your eyes.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Really? It will have to do.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54I'll have it couriered back to the surgery, after lunch.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57No problem. Hey, you'd better watch out there are no paparazzi

0:14:57 > 0:14:59at this snazzy restaurant.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01You don't want Mr Dupont finding out!

0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Mr Dupont?- Your husband.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Does he not mind you having lunch with your ex?

0:15:06 > 0:15:08I couldn't care less about Brian.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10It's my daughter I want to see.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Hmm. Not exactly Gucci, is it?

0:15:15 > 0:15:19It must be really hard being you.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Why do you say that?

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Having to keep up these standards all the time.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Pretending to be something that you're not.

0:15:31 > 0:15:32- Cheers!- Cheers!

0:15:37 > 0:15:39When you said lunch, I thought you meant the Chinese buffet -

0:15:39 > 0:15:41"eat as much as you like".

0:15:41 > 0:15:44You can eat as much as you like. Money's no object.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46Won the Lottery, have you?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Another, please.

0:15:49 > 0:15:53Dad! That was the most expensive bottle!

0:15:53 > 0:15:56- You can't afford this!- No. I know.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00- But she can.- Why?

0:16:01 > 0:16:02Sorry I'm late.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Surgery doesn't start until four.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16It's OK. I'll wait.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18For half an hour? You'll get a chill.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Least of my worries.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Come on through. I'll see you now.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Thank you.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31So you'll be a paediatric nurse once you've qualified?

0:16:31 > 0:16:32That's the plan.

0:16:32 > 0:16:36Or I might just jack it all in, marry some rich bloke instead.

0:16:38 > 0:16:39I can't change the past, Zoe.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Dominic and I, we fell in love.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46I was four, Mother.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49Maybe when you're older, when you've experienced relationships,

0:16:49 > 0:16:51perhaps then you'll understand.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54I am older. I've had relationships.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56But I still don't get you.

0:16:57 > 0:17:01When I was your age, I always imagined I'd have children one day.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05But first, there was so much I wanted to do.

0:17:05 > 0:17:09Exotic travel and adventures, things I'd seen in magazines.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12I'd barely left Wolverhampton when the two of us got together.

0:17:12 > 0:17:17And then you...you happened, so much quicker than I'd expected.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20And I put the kibosh on your schoolgirl dreams?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22Yes, you did.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Only I didn't, did I?

0:17:24 > 0:17:26Because you ditched us for a Ferrero Rocher advert,

0:17:26 > 0:17:29found someone rich enough to make you feel special, superior!

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Please, keep your voice down. This isn't the place

0:17:31 > 0:17:34- for a character assassination. - It's the perfect place!

0:17:34 > 0:17:35Just the kind of sterile,

0:17:35 > 0:17:37over-priced snob-fest you're used to!

0:17:37 > 0:17:39All right, Zoe, you've made your point.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42If you didn't want a scene, then why did you invite her?

0:17:42 > 0:17:44She invited herself.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51And I figured that three years of silence is enough.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55- Maybe she deserves another chance. - Why?

0:17:57 > 0:17:59When she can't even bring herself to say sorry?

0:17:59 > 0:18:02That would cost you too much, wouldn't it?

0:18:02 > 0:18:03CAR HORN BEEPS

0:18:03 > 0:18:05That'll be Craig.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11He can give you a lift home if you like?

0:18:11 > 0:18:14All right. Just give me a minute to settle up.

0:18:21 > 0:18:22Who's Craig?

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Her latest suitor. He's a good lad.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35Sorry for leaving so suddenly.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37We didn't really manage to move things on.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39No, we didn't, did we?

0:18:39 > 0:18:42Look, I know there are things you don't want to talk about,

0:18:42 > 0:18:43of course you don't.

0:18:43 > 0:18:47But I do need to know a little bit more about the circumstances,

0:18:47 > 0:18:50your relationship with the father, and how you got pregnant.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55We got together ages ago, on Bonfire Night.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Three months?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59Yeah. That's ages, isn't it?

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Yeah. I suppose it is.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08It didn't really seem like a rash thing.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10There was no pressure.

0:19:12 > 0:19:13He was curious.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15And so was I.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Did you use contraception?

0:19:19 > 0:19:20Yeah, he did.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22But the condom split.

0:19:26 > 0:19:29I didn't stop those monthly payments out of spite.

0:19:29 > 0:19:33A lot has changed for me in the last three years.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35Dominic and I are divorced.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Oh.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40- HE SCOFFS - I'm sorry(!)

0:19:40 > 0:19:42I didn't expect your sympathy.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45It's just that my financial situation isn't what it was.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Only six figures in the bank now?

0:19:56 > 0:19:57I'll let you get it.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Excuse me?

0:19:59 > 0:20:01I can't afford posh nosh like this.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Not on my modest wage.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05I thought you said you were loaded!

0:20:05 > 0:20:08I said I was semi-retired and that I work on environmental concerns,

0:20:08 > 0:20:09which is no lie.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13I'm a caretaker, part-time.

0:20:13 > 0:20:17What about all that guff about playing the markets?

0:20:17 > 0:20:18I do the odd scratchcard.

0:20:20 > 0:20:24You've never needed much reason to look down your nose.

0:20:24 > 0:20:25I didn't want to give you an excuse.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31You had me fooled. Well done.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Thanks for the meal.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Zoe! Your card.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17Is that all?

0:21:17 > 0:21:19Yes. That's all.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23It must be lonely up on that high horse.

0:21:23 > 0:21:27You've been up there so long, you've forgotten how to climb down.

0:21:29 > 0:21:30Zoe?

0:21:30 > 0:21:32You deserved better than me.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35And you got it.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Excuse me. Your card has been declined.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47Do you take platinum?

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Before any termination could be signed-off,

0:21:52 > 0:21:55you'd need to be seen and examined by another doctor.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58Could I see someone else here, today?

0:21:58 > 0:22:01No. You'd need to be seen at a specialist clinic.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03I had to bunk off school today.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06If I do the same again, Mum might get suspicious.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08You could go in your lunch break?

0:22:08 > 0:22:11How long will it take?

0:22:11 > 0:22:12About an hour.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14How soon could they see me?

0:22:14 > 0:22:15We'd need to look into that.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19- Do you want me to call the clinic for you?- Yeah.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23- Shall I do it now?- Thanks.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49I know what you mean.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52If they just wanted to park the bus, then why give the ball away?

0:22:52 > 0:22:55And where was the wonderkid? Nowhere near the woodwork.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59I reckon they should go to 4-4-2.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Wasn't broke, so why fix it?

0:23:16 > 0:23:17What happened to you?

0:23:18 > 0:23:21I paid for a lunch I couldn't afford.

0:23:21 > 0:23:25Why didn't your ex pay? He's minted, isn't he?

0:23:25 > 0:23:27He had a little joke at my expense.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31It's OK. The restaurant accepted my engagement ring.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34No! What's your husband going to say?

0:23:36 > 0:23:39I've been single for the last three years.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Dominic lost everything in the credit crunch.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44And by the time we got divorced, there was nothing left.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46No money, no assets, nothing.

0:23:46 > 0:23:50The only valuable thing I had left was that ring. C'est la vie.

0:23:51 > 0:23:55Thank you for this. It's actually very comfortable.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57- Keep it.- No. I couldn't really.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00I'll sort you out with some shoes as well.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02No, really. My hotel's only a couple of miles away,

0:24:02 > 0:24:05and I rather like walking barefoot.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09Back in a jiffy.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14# Ta-da! #

0:24:16 > 0:24:19I should have my own picture framing business!

0:24:19 > 0:24:20Is that straight?

0:24:20 > 0:24:24Absolutely! You just have to tilt your head slightly to the left.

0:24:25 > 0:24:26Or is it the right?

0:24:29 > 0:24:32What you did with that pantomime was nothing short of amazing!

0:24:34 > 0:24:37You believed in Valerie Pitman when nobody else did.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39And I became your Cinderella.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42Pleasure.

0:24:45 > 0:24:46Do they fit OK?

0:24:46 > 0:24:47Yes. They're perfect.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52- Hell must've frozen over.- Pardon?

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Oh, yes.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Are you sure you're going to be OK?

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Quite sure.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00In fact, I feel quite liberated.

0:25:02 > 0:25:03Thank you again.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12I was very rude to you earlier, wasn't I?

0:25:14 > 0:25:16Yes, you were a little.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20I'm very sorry. I wasn't feeling quite myself.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31I have no idea what you have said or done to that woman,

0:25:31 > 0:25:33but it has had a profound effect.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38OK, thanks very much. I'll let her know.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43All booked. 12.30 tomorrow.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46That's the address of the clinic.

0:25:46 > 0:25:47I don't know this area.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51Is it far from my school?

0:25:51 > 0:25:53About two miles.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56You could get a bus, or it might be easier just to get a cab.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59Have you got enough cash?

0:25:59 > 0:26:01For the taxi.

0:26:01 > 0:26:02No.

0:26:06 > 0:26:10- Are you sure?- Yeah, just don't spend it all on sweets.

0:26:18 > 0:26:24- Hey!- Sorry. It's just there's so much to think about.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29You are going to be fine. You are such a trooper.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36You've been so nice. I don't know how to thank you.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39It's all right. I do actually get paid to be this nice.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46I feel bad asking one last thing,

0:26:46 > 0:26:49but d'you think you could do something for me?

0:26:50 > 0:26:51Hit me with it.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Do you think you could come with me?

0:27:06 > 0:27:08I want to live more, do more,

0:27:08 > 0:27:10before I'm ready for a child.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Maybe he thinks he's a prisoner of war.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15He's a redundant arc-welder from Smethwick.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17What's the motive?

0:27:17 > 0:27:19What do you mean by motive?

0:27:19 > 0:27:21I mean, are you the father?

0:27:21 > 0:27:23He could be a Spetsnaz Sleeper.

0:27:23 > 0:27:27Burzhuaznyie eemperialisty i skoro budete pobezhdeny.