Perestroika

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0:00:31 > 0:00:34I thought students had to be coerced into seeing a doctor?

0:00:34 > 0:00:36- Viruses.- Eh?

0:00:36 > 0:00:41Young adults are susceptible to viruses

0:00:41 > 0:00:43and when they are all compressed together...

0:00:43 > 0:00:46Yes, I know how young adults like to be compressed together.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49Anyhow, most of this lot are probably after a sick note.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52And some just want help in taking care of themselves.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Yes, well, I learnt that in the army.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Where are these posters you've been talking about?

0:00:57 > 0:01:01They will provide essential information for the student body.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03What, like, how to keep your fingernails clean?

0:01:03 > 0:01:05Something like that.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08Your assistance is very much appreciated.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11It is good for them to see someone in authority,

0:01:11 > 0:01:13who is concerned with their welfare.

0:01:22 > 0:01:23Thank you.

0:01:27 > 0:01:31Whatever you're thinking about doing, stop even thinking about it!

0:01:47 > 0:01:48Roger!

0:01:55 > 0:01:58- So what are we going to do? - Whatever you like.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02What, like, jumping on a plane and flying to Mauritius?

0:02:02 > 0:02:04We've only got one day off.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06At least it's together.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07Lucky I had a day in lieu.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10Right, you get to choose then.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Hmm. We could...walk down to the lake,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16go for lunch at the Green Cafe.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Mmm, they do baked Camembert!

0:02:18 > 0:02:19You had that the last time.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22I'm a Welshman. Apply heat to cheese and I'm there, baby.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Or, we could have a staycation.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26- What, in Letherbridge?- Mm.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Here. Upstairs, in bed.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Oh! Jimmi Clay, you naughty...

0:02:32 > 0:02:35- I'm so sorry!- Aaahhhh!

0:02:37 > 0:02:40No, not the green one! The green one is the surface cloth!

0:02:40 > 0:02:42The yellow one's for the floor.

0:02:46 > 0:02:50- And what's the blue one for?! - It's not funny.- Jimmi, I...

0:02:50 > 0:02:53- You think it's a joke!?- No, I...

0:02:53 > 0:02:56It's not, I can't have this. I can't have this mess.

0:02:59 > 0:03:00HE GROANS

0:03:24 > 0:03:29- Roger?!- You all right, Baz? I'm a little indisposed.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32I'd prefer Officer Biglow at work

0:03:32 > 0:03:35and you're supposed to be manning the security desk.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Sorry, mate... Officer Biglow.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41I went out for a few jars last night, then got a bit peckish.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Think I put too much chilli on my doner.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46The security of these premises is not attendant

0:03:46 > 0:03:48on the whims of your digestive system.

0:03:48 > 0:03:52- That's good to know.- I mean, you're supposed to be working!

0:03:52 > 0:03:54I am allowed a toilet break.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56You had five yesterday.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59You've already had two verbal warnings for malingering.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01The next will be a written one,

0:04:01 > 0:04:04on University of Letherbridge Security Department headed notepaper.

0:04:04 > 0:04:10Sorry, mate. On the subject of paper, you wouldn't mind, eh...?

0:04:17 > 0:04:18Ta.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Now, get a move on.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24That thief has done two more student rooms this week.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27I want to increase patrols and provide a visual deterrent.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Sounds like a good idea.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31I'll be with you in a jiffy.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35HE CHUCKLES

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Oh, no... No!

0:05:06 > 0:05:08HE SIGHS

0:05:33 > 0:05:37Now, I have assembled this Photofit of our suspect

0:05:37 > 0:05:41from statements and CCTV footage.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46- Looks a right shady character, him. - Hmm. Completely without scruples.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Waits for someone to leave their room unattended

0:05:49 > 0:05:52and then he's in, nicking MP4s, PCs, tablets...

0:05:52 > 0:05:54What, so he's into pills, as well?

0:05:54 > 0:05:58Tablet computers. Transportable and lucrative.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01It's our duty to stop this person at source.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03What, so we go and hide in one of the student rooms

0:06:03 > 0:06:04and wait for him to creep in?

0:06:06 > 0:06:12There are 653 rooms at the student halls.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15I would say that that tactic is, at best, misguided

0:06:15 > 0:06:18and, at worse, statistically challenged.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20I think you might have a point there, Baz.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22- BAZ CLEARS HIS THROAT - Officer Biglow.

0:06:24 > 0:06:29Rog, your previous experience in life has been as an arc welder

0:06:29 > 0:06:31and factory itinerant.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33And you only got this job

0:06:33 > 0:06:37because your missus is a bingo mate of my cousin Deidre.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39I am really grateful.

0:06:39 > 0:06:40I know.

0:06:40 > 0:06:45But my point is, in consideration of expertise

0:06:45 > 0:06:48and tactical thinking, I think I should take the lead.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51You're the boss, boss.

0:06:51 > 0:06:56So, eyes peeled, senses active and instincts turned up to ten.

0:06:56 > 0:07:00We, my ami de guerre, are going to catch a thief.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10Rog...

0:07:11 > 0:07:12..this way.

0:07:29 > 0:07:30Sorry I'm late.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35I thought you'd taken the taxi money and done a runner.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Why would I do a runner?

0:07:37 > 0:07:38Maybe you changed your mind.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41I was thinking about it all last night.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Should I, shouldn't I...?

0:07:46 > 0:07:48It's too much now.

0:07:49 > 0:07:53I couldn't have a baby and do everything it needed.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56And there are things I want to do. Lots of things.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59I want to live more, do more,

0:07:59 > 0:08:01before I'm ready for a child.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06- That's not being selfish, is it?- No.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10I think that's a reasoned decision.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12- HE SIGHS - Shall we?

0:08:18 > 0:08:20MUSIC: "Extreme Ways" by Moby

0:08:39 > 0:08:40Gotcha!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Stop, stop, stop.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Just stop.

0:09:13 > 0:09:18- How many times! I am NOT a thief! - How do you explain this, then?

0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Doesn't look a bit like me.- I think you need to change your optician.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24Now, are you going to come quiet? Baz, I've got him!

0:09:24 > 0:09:26Captain Bellamy. Rog. What's going on?

0:09:26 > 0:09:29I think your officer here has been a little bit over-zealous.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Don't think anyone's ever accused him of that before.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- I was just trying to prove me worth. - In what capacity?!

0:09:34 > 0:09:38I did instruct him to be on heightened alert.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41And we were looking for someone who matched that description.

0:09:43 > 0:09:44There's your man.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Oi! Come on!

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Idiot! You're such an idiot!

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Someone you really like, the first one who understands and you know

0:09:55 > 0:09:58how he needs things to be and you made a mess, messed up!

0:10:00 > 0:10:03The wrong cloth, how can you use the wrong cloth? Stupid, so stupid!

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Hermione?

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Hermione, I've finished.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Her-...?

0:10:12 > 0:10:13Great(!)

0:10:19 > 0:10:20Going somewhere?

0:10:20 > 0:10:22I'm coming! Hold it right there, I'm...

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Roger? Roger?

0:10:28 > 0:10:30You all right?

0:10:30 > 0:10:31Rog?

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Rog!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40You all right?

0:10:41 > 0:10:43Thank you for coming with me.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45You're helping me so much.

0:10:45 > 0:10:46I want to.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Why?

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Well, it's your body and your choice.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53But you need support.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55That appears to be me.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57You're not like a normal doctor.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00Mm. That has been observed.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Right. I can still call your mum or another adult friend

0:11:03 > 0:11:04if you want me to?

0:11:04 > 0:11:07No. Thanks.

0:11:12 > 0:11:14- GENTLE SNORING - Roger?

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Roger...?

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Hello, mate, you've had a bump to the head.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21- HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN - Easy, it's important that we...

0:11:21 > 0:11:25HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

0:11:25 > 0:11:27What on Earth is he saying?!

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Haven't got a scooby.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Why don't we lie you back down again?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Another prisoner safely in police custody.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40So how's the patient?

0:11:40 > 0:11:42How big a bang did he take to the head?

0:11:42 > 0:11:45It was a fair clatter. What do you think, concussion?

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Well, he's talking gobbledygook.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51That's just Roger. Gobbledygook is his lingua franca.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53- No, I mean...- Viktor Grishkov.

0:11:53 > 0:11:57HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

0:12:03 > 0:12:05That's not gobbledygook, that's Russian!

0:12:05 > 0:12:07Couldn't even speak English properly this morning.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10I have heard of cases like this,

0:12:10 > 0:12:15where a sudden blow to the head can give a person unexplained abilities,

0:12:15 > 0:12:19such as knowing a language they have never learned,

0:12:19 > 0:12:22or vast experience in philately.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25Rog, how's your knowledge of stamps?

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Viktor Grishkov.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30HE REPEATS HIMSELF IN RUSSIAN

0:12:37 > 0:12:39It would help to know what he's saying.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42If Roger's lost in translation, we need a translator.

0:12:43 > 0:12:48Professor Miriam Syers, Director of Russian Studies.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50HE DIALS PHONE

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Hey! What's wrong?

0:13:07 > 0:13:09I'm her doctor.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11- They said they could do it. - All right, what's the problem?

0:13:11 > 0:13:13In two weeks.

0:13:13 > 0:13:14Two weeks?!

0:13:14 > 0:13:19That's the waiting list here. I want it done now.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21All right. Give me a sec.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23Your magazine's upside-down.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Oh, come on, Hermione, talk to me.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42- I wasn't laughing at you. I know it's not a joke.- I know.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44And it was an accident, I didn't mean to spill it.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Of course it was.- But it's typical, I'm trying to be careful,

0:13:47 > 0:13:49but I'm never careful enough.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52It's not really about being careful, though.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54It is, though, it's about detail,

0:13:54 > 0:13:57keeping on top. But things slip away

0:13:57 > 0:14:00and I knew it was stupid to use the wrong cloth,

0:14:00 > 0:14:02but when I saw the juice dripping

0:14:02 > 0:14:06and I could see that it was sticky and would pick up the dirt, and...

0:14:08 > 0:14:09Jimmi?

0:14:10 > 0:14:11Jimmi?!

0:14:43 > 0:14:47Don't the guidelines recommend a procedure within ten days?

0:14:47 > 0:14:48Yes, but I told Fliss...

0:14:48 > 0:14:51A girl her age doesn't need the extra stress of waiting.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53That's why I offered to refer her to the Charndale Clinic.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Yeah, which is 14.2 miles away.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57And she said she didn't want to travel that far.

0:14:57 > 0:15:01But it is the closest clinic that can offer short-notice procedures.

0:15:04 > 0:15:08- You are here in your professional capacity?- How do you mean?

0:15:08 > 0:15:12Is it usual for you to accompany your patients to appointments?

0:15:12 > 0:15:16- No.- So, what's the motive?

0:15:16 > 0:15:20- What do you mean by "moti-..." - I mean, are you the father?

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Do I look like the kind of man who would do that to a 14-year-old girl?

0:15:23 > 0:15:25- Well, I...- Before you answer,

0:15:25 > 0:15:28let me warn you I have the GMC and a very good lawyer on speed dial.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Of course I'm not the father!

0:15:30 > 0:15:34It was some kid from school, it was their first time

0:15:34 > 0:15:35and the condom split.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38As I understand it, Fliss's mother is set against abortion,

0:15:38 > 0:15:40but she desperately wants one.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42I only met her this week,

0:15:42 > 0:15:45but she is my patient and she asked for my help.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52- My apologies.- I'm not condoning it, but it's happened.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54She is mature and she has reached this conclusion on her own.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56I think we need to respect that.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59I'll see if we can free up an appointment...

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Hopefully, before a D and E is required.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05There's been a cancellation on Monday...

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Monday sounds great, let's go for that.

0:16:08 > 0:16:13Right, so that's an appointment for three o'clock on Monday.

0:16:13 > 0:16:17Excellent. Three o'clock Monday. Thanks very much for your help.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26SHE ASKS QUESTION IN RUSSIAN

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Viktor Grishkov.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31HE ANSWERS IN RUSSIAN

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Is that a "no"?

0:16:39 > 0:16:41He's been repeating that over and over...

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Viktor Grishkov, Sergeant,

0:16:43 > 0:16:481st Kapralov Engineer Regiment, Number 7793150.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50- Name, rank and serial Number.- Eh?

0:16:50 > 0:16:53Maybe he thinks he's a prisoner of war.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55He's a redundant arc-welder. from Smethwick.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57That could be his cover.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Cover?

0:16:59 > 0:17:01He could be a Spetsnaz sleeper.

0:17:01 > 0:17:02A what?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04The Cold War.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06Soviets were said to have infiltrated

0:17:06 > 0:17:10some of their elite commandos into the British civilian life.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13Their job was to remain under cover, until the eve of invasion,

0:17:13 > 0:17:15then they were to attack major targets.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19Roger has trouble attacking a nine-square Sudoku.

0:17:19 > 0:17:20But his intellectual

0:17:20 > 0:17:23and technical abilities are probably far in advance.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Mm, that'll be really, really deep cover, then?

0:17:25 > 0:17:29The deeper, the better. His accent is perfect.

0:17:29 > 0:17:30And he hasn't got concussion.

0:17:32 > 0:17:37Maybe what has happened is that the blow to the head has removed

0:17:37 > 0:17:39the pretence of his daily life

0:17:39 > 0:17:42and he has reverted back to his true identity.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48There is an abundance of psychological literature

0:17:48 > 0:17:50in the staff room.

0:17:50 > 0:17:51That could be the point...

0:17:51 > 0:17:53everyday pretence has been stripped away

0:17:53 > 0:17:55and he's primed and waiting.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57- What for?- His trigger word.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00The word that's his notification of impending invasion

0:18:00 > 0:18:02and the command to carry out his mission.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05It may be something like Red Square or Potemkin.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08- Or Dynamo Kiev or Spartak Moscow. - Spartak!

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Oh, my goodness! What in...?

0:18:11 > 0:18:13If I've started World War III, I do apologise.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21Should we contact the authorities?

0:18:21 > 0:18:24Oh, yeah. Good idea, why don't we call 999 and say,

0:18:24 > 0:18:25"Oh, sorry, I think I've activated

0:18:25 > 0:18:28"a Soviet commando, would you mind locking down the West Midlands?"

0:18:28 > 0:18:31- It was just a thought. - How's about this for a thought?

0:18:31 > 0:18:34We split up and find him, before he blows up a nuclear reactor...

0:18:34 > 0:18:36Or does something really serious.

0:18:38 > 0:18:39Well, go on, then.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42I-I will wait here, in case he comes back.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45"Viktor Grishkov..."

0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Ring a bell? - There's something about it.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50Look, while you think,, why don't we search the main building?

0:18:52 > 0:18:55JAMES BOND-ESQUE MUSIC

0:18:55 > 0:18:57HE MUTTERS IN RUSSIAN

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Should be far enough away, here. You going to make it?

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Yeah, they do a second register after lunch.

0:19:10 > 0:19:16- Make sure no-one's escaped?- Yeah. Thanks for getting the appointment.

0:19:16 > 0:19:20Sure. If Monday's too early, I can always call Doctor Blakely and...

0:19:20 > 0:19:21No. It'll be OK.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26See you Monday.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Whoa. No, Fliss. I can't...

0:19:29 > 0:19:31SHE SIGHS

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Be unlikely to find him here.

0:19:39 > 0:19:43His usual workplace of choice is a cubicle in the gents.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Maybe that's where he was planning the downfall of the West.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50Viktor Grishkov. This is why I remember him.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Roger's been buried in that all week.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56"Viktor Grishkov was plucked from the ranks of a Red Army

0:19:56 > 0:19:58"combat engineers' regiment in the mid-1970s

0:19:58 > 0:20:01"and trained as a Spetsnaz special forces commando.

0:20:01 > 0:20:05"Under the auspices of the KGB, Grishkov was infiltrated

0:20:05 > 0:20:07"into the UK, where, under an assumed identity,

0:20:07 > 0:20:10"he lived in the West Midlands, while awaiting to undertake

0:20:10 > 0:20:11"his covert mission."

0:20:11 > 0:20:14If he was a combat engineer, originally,

0:20:14 > 0:20:16what would his targets have been - airfields, power stations..?

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Sir Anthony Bartley.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20- BOTH: Who? - He was chairman

0:20:20 > 0:20:22of the Midlands Central Defence Authority.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25In time of invasion, he would have been in charge.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27Sir Anthony's day job was Vice-Chancellor

0:20:27 > 0:20:30- of the University of Letherbridge. - But he must be long gone?

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Yes, but we still have a Vice-Chancellor.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37JAMES BOND-ESQUE MUSIC

0:20:42 > 0:20:44He's got the Vice-Chancellor.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46Roger!

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Roger, open up!

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Try "Viktor".

0:20:51 > 0:20:54SHE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

0:20:54 > 0:20:57HE ANSWERS IN RUSSIAN

0:21:00 > 0:21:03He says "the days of the West are over and also those of Sir Anthony Bartle".

0:21:03 > 0:21:06He died in 1984!

0:21:06 > 0:21:09SHE EXPLAINS IN RUSSIAN

0:21:22 > 0:21:25HE ANSWERS IN RUSSIAN

0:21:29 > 0:21:31He says he doesn't believe us. We are bourgeois

0:21:31 > 0:21:36- imperialists and must be defeated. - Tell him he really isn't Grishkov.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39Tell him he's really Roger Stocks and he's got a wife called Coral

0:21:39 > 0:21:42and a fondness for snakebite and black and The Two Ronnies.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46SHE SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN

0:21:46 > 0:21:47..Roger Stocks.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54- Coral.- Coral.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59Snakebite and black.

0:21:59 > 0:22:00SHE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

0:22:00 > 0:22:04..and The Two Ronnies. SHE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

0:22:04 > 0:22:05Viktor Grishkov!

0:22:05 > 0:22:09HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

0:22:09 > 0:22:12He still thinks he's Grishkov. And he doesn't even know one Ronnie.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15- We'll have to call the police. - Don't think we've got time.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18Captain Bellamy, I have a plan,

0:22:18 > 0:22:20whereby we can cunningly infiltrate the room.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23- How?- I've got the key fob.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25- Go on, then!- Won't it be dangerous?

0:22:25 > 0:22:26BEEPS

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Have no fear. Captain Bellamy and...

0:22:30 > 0:22:33Now...don't do anything hasty.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35I think we're a bit late for that.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Just stay calm and we'll... HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

0:22:37 > 0:22:41- He says "Stay back". - I think we got that one.

0:22:42 > 0:22:47Now, Roger... Viktor...

0:22:47 > 0:22:49This is your final warning.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53I am a Grand Master in the Oriental martial tradition of Tao-Qing-Quo

0:22:53 > 0:22:55and I am not afraid to use it.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58HE GROANS

0:23:01 > 0:23:05- Hermione, please.- I'll just make things worse.- No, you won't.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08I already have. You explained your routine.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10I shouldn't be here and I understand

0:23:10 > 0:23:13if you think I'm too stupid or unclean to want me around.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15No, I don't think that.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18It was my fault, I totally lost it, it was a really bad one.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21We should have had a really nice day together and instead I messed it up

0:23:21 > 0:23:24and I spoiled it. I'm sorry. Please.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37I was scared you would never speak to me, again.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40I was scared I'd scared you away.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53- Spetsnaz?- Mmm.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56You were single-handedly going to bring down

0:23:56 > 0:23:59- the bourgeois hegemony of the West. - Or, rather, Viktor Grishkov was.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Your Deidre gave me that for Christmas.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Mm, like I said, Deidre has got a lot to answer for.

0:24:06 > 0:24:11- But I don't understand, how did I..? - Post-traumatic memory transference.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14You see, the blow to your head caused your most recent memory,

0:24:14 > 0:24:15namely from the book,

0:24:15 > 0:24:17to take over your consciousness.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19DOOR OPENS

0:24:19 > 0:24:21That's what she said.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25Well, we're not taking any chances, this time. So, it's straight to St Phil's for a scan, OK?

0:24:27 > 0:24:29You're not going to tell the missus about this?

0:24:29 > 0:24:33What, that you assumed a psychotic personality

0:24:33 > 0:24:36- and held the Vice-Chancellor of the university against his will?- Yeah.

0:24:36 > 0:24:40Oh, does this come under written warning or verbal warning?

0:24:40 > 0:24:44It comes under doing the next six months on night shifts.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48But, first, let's see if that scan shows exactly what's going on in that brain of yours.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Well, thanks for your help.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Well, it was a slight matter of jumping to conclusions.

0:24:56 > 0:25:01So, the real Viktor Grishkov didn't complete his mission?

0:25:01 > 0:25:04No, but he stayed on in Britain, Spent his final years in North Wales.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07Well, I suppose it has the edge on Siberia.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Still, they had some nerve.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12- Who?- The Russians, planting sleeper agents.

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Very daring.

0:25:13 > 0:25:18JAMES BOND-ESQUE MUSIC

0:25:19 > 0:25:22You didn't get your toasted cheese fix.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26Mm. My ancestors will never forgive me.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28"You have angered the gods of Welsh Rarebit!"

0:25:28 > 0:25:30SHE CHUCKLES

0:25:32 > 0:25:34I thought I was on top of it.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Mm, the wonderful world of OCD.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39A bit repetitive, isn't it?

0:25:39 > 0:25:42Guess we should be more careful.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44What do you mean?

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Not to trigger each other.

0:25:47 > 0:25:51Maybe it's closer to the surface, with both of us.

0:25:54 > 0:25:55Yeah.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58Yeah, maybe.

0:26:11 > 0:26:15Oh, I am so sorry. I didn't see you at all...

0:26:15 > 0:26:18Plans for the future? Have you given it any thought?

0:26:18 > 0:26:19Well, I'd like to meet someone.

0:26:21 > 0:26:23You want to give me £200?

0:26:23 > 0:26:24On one condition.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27You definitely don't want to talk to your mum about this?

0:26:27 > 0:26:29No. Why do you keep asking me that?