0:00:28 > 0:00:31MUSIC: "Love Story" by Andy Williams
0:00:42 > 0:00:44# Where do I begin
0:00:46 > 0:00:52# To tell the story Of how great a love can be
0:00:52 > 0:00:56# The sweet love story That is older than the sea
0:00:57 > 0:01:03# That sings the truth about the love she brings to me
0:01:04 > 0:01:07# Where do I start?
0:01:11 > 0:01:15# With the first hello... #
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Do you think we should get her a cake or something?
0:01:17 > 0:01:19I do not believe that is necessary.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21The last time she left she was a little...
0:01:21 > 0:01:23- Histrionic?- Emotional.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25No, I think it will be easier for her
0:01:25 > 0:01:28if we just carry on as if this is just a normal day.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32- You really think that will calm her down?- I do.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41No tears.
0:01:42 > 0:01:47When I left last time, I took this as a memento.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49But I'm a much stronger person now,
0:01:49 > 0:01:54and I realise that all I need are my memories.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55So here.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Thank you.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Today is going to break my heart all over again, but...
0:02:02 > 0:02:04please try to be strong for me.
0:02:09 > 0:02:14Oh, yeah, she's going to be so much more restrained this time.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Do you think I go with Rob?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Don't know. Yeah.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Sure.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Hey.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Morning.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35What's up with you two?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Uh... Nothing.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Can I ask you a question?
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Uh-huh.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Objectively speaking, would you say Rob is a good-looking guy?
0:02:45 > 0:02:49I've, um, I haven't really thought about that.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51What are you doing for lunch?
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- Uh?- Fancy sharing a bite to eat?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55I didn't get much sleep last night. I won't be great company.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57All right for some.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59No, it wasn't like that.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Come on. I'll buy you a sandwich.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Make it soup and you're on.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Oh! You poor, sweet man.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I know this is going to be hard on you,
0:03:12 > 0:03:13but I do think it's for the best.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15I beg your pardon?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I've just come to say goodbye.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18Oh. Right.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22Well, it's been lovely working with you again.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Think of me sometimes.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Valerie. I hardly think
0:03:25 > 0:03:27this is appropriate.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28But don't let the memory of me hold you back.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31In time, you will meet someone else.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Scoundrel!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39MUSIC: "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43# ..The night is yours alone
0:03:47 > 0:03:51# When you're sure you've had enough
0:03:53 > 0:03:55# Of this life
0:03:56 > 0:03:58# Hang on
0:04:02 > 0:04:08# Don't let yourself go... #
0:04:08 > 0:04:09I need an appointment.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13I'm sorry,
0:04:13 > 0:04:16all our doctors are busy today.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18I might be able to squeeze you in with a nurse.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- Is it an emergency?- Yes.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23I think I'm going mad.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25SONG CONTINUES IN HIS HEAD
0:04:25 > 0:04:31Why don't we sit down and talk about this like rational human beings?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Oh, yes, hide behind words rather than face me like a man.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Ashley, don't hurt him!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Valerie is my woman!
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Yes, and you are welcome to her.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43I knew your intentions were not pure.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45The evidence was piling up,
0:04:45 > 0:04:48but now, finally, I've caught you in the act.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49What evidence?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53The Valentine's card. Stalking her at speed dating.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56And now this...urg, erotic hug.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58What are you talking about?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01You have compromised my lady's honour.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04There's only one way to settle this.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06A duel!
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Are you out of your mind?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Yes, with love!
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Listen carefully. We are not having a duel.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Oh, yes!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Not man enough to face me?
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Talk to him, Valerie. He's bonkers.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21I've never had two men fighting over me before.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Oh, for pity's sake!
0:05:22 > 0:05:27I shall return later, when I will demand satisfaction.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Oh! That was SO romantic.
0:05:35 > 0:05:41MUSIC: "Dry Bones" by The Delta Rhythm Boys
0:05:41 > 0:05:44So, what seems to be the problem?
0:05:45 > 0:05:47In your own time, mate. Nothing to worry about.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Everything you say in here is confidential, all right?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54I hear music.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Oh! I don't think so.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59No, I mean in here. All the time.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04Everywhere I go, everything I do, I have a soundtrack accompanying me.
0:06:04 > 0:06:10SONG CONTINUES IN HIS HEAD
0:06:10 > 0:06:12This is the one with the papers missing.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15It's a common surname, so it's probably in one of the other files.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Right, I will go through them and find them for you.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Thanks, Mrs Tembe.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- You won't believe what's happened. - You're probably right there.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26My two suitors are going to have a duel.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30What...?! Did you say a 'duel'?
0:06:30 > 0:06:31I did.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Two suitors?- Yeah.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Heston and Ashley, of course.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39But Heston isn't your suitor. Is he?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Beneath that calm exterior, his passions run deep.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46And they're going to have a fight?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Why on earth would they do that?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51For love, of course.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Right, I see.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Well, who do you want to win?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00I don't know.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Oh, it's like Sliding Doors.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04I can see my two futures spinning out.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07But which one do I want? How do I decide?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I can't see anything obviously wrong.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21You've got no wax, no inflammation.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Your notes say that you've got partial hearing loss?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Yeah, I had measles when I was younger,
0:07:28 > 0:07:31which damaged my auditory vestibular nerve.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Mum and Dad didn't believe in the MMR vaccine.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Which is why, without these,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38I don't really hear very much in the real world.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Can you hear music now?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Yeah...and no.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44It's John Cage's silent composition.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46That doesn't sound so bad.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50It's only four minutes and 33 seconds long.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54MUSIC PLAYS IN HIS HEAD
0:07:54 > 0:07:55It's changed.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57What it's playing now?
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Romeo And Juliet.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Can you imagine what it's like having Dire Straits
0:08:01 > 0:08:03playing in your head with no prior warning?
0:08:03 > 0:08:07Have you been diagnosed with any other conditions in the past?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Nothing serious. - And there's no family history?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Uncle played the oboe.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14No, I mean, auditory hallucinations?
0:08:14 > 0:08:15No.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18What happens if you take the hearing aid out?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20It doesn't really make any difference.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23It feels like it gets louder the more attention I pay to it,
0:08:23 > 0:08:26but other than that, it just does its own thing.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Why Romeo And Juliet?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Recently, it's been mainly love songs.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Any reason for that?
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Because music isn't the only thing I can't get out of my head.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Well, I...I could section her.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Do not be flippant, Dr Reid.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49How should I decide between them?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52What makes you think that Heston is in love with you?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56There are so many reasons. Do I really have to list them?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Maybe it will help.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Well, there was the Valentine's card he sent me.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02And you definitely know that that was from him?
0:09:02 > 0:09:07Of course it was. Poor Ashley was green with jealousy.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09And what else?
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Well, we got close at the panto.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14He did write Cinderella for me.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16I am his muse.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19I wonder what they're both like as lovers.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20MRS TEMBE RETCHES
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Of course I have already known Ashley. Physically.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26There is no need to go into any details.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30And Heston. Gentle, sweet Heston.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Maybe sectioning is not such a bad idea.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39You see, perks of the job, Mrs Tembe.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45MUSIC: "All By Myself" by Celine Dion
0:09:45 > 0:09:48# All by myself... #
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Are you all right, Max?- Uh-huh.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53You left in a hurry.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Yeah, I had a meeting I'd forgotten about.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I tidied up your desk.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01You know what Tony's like about neatness.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Yeah, thank you.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05No problem.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06Amy...?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Hey, so what time are we meeting up tonight?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Straight after work?
0:10:11 > 0:10:12Sure.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Look, do you fancy getting something to eat
0:10:15 > 0:10:17before we...get down to business?
0:10:17 > 0:10:21OK. Nothing too heavy though, cos I'm watching my figure.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22You're not the only one.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28# All by myself... #
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Thank you, and thank you for coming.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Don't be silly.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Sometimes you just need to see a friendly face, don't you?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37And I can trust you to tell me the truth.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40About what?
0:10:40 > 0:10:43I'm sorry to keep banging on about Rob,
0:10:43 > 0:10:44but I can't stop thinking about him.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46You are married to him.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49And I was thinking...
0:10:49 > 0:10:51that I would like to start seeing someone.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Well, not many people get to date their husband twice,
0:10:57 > 0:10:59so you might enjoy it.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Oh! It just seems so unreal. I mean, the kids...
0:11:03 > 0:11:07I mean, they're my kids. Oh!
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Anyway, I thought I would invite him to lunch
0:11:10 > 0:11:12and find out a bit more about him.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- I think that's an excellent idea. - Really?
0:11:15 > 0:11:16See, cos I am curious.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Obviously, there must have been something about him
0:11:19 > 0:11:21to make me marry him in the first place.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Lots of things, I'd say.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24Maybe.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I mean, he seems like a decent bloke.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31And he looks very nice in his uniform.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Oh!
0:11:38 > 0:11:39What?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Our circumstances are really weird,
0:11:44 > 0:11:46and he's always so...
0:11:47 > 0:11:50...heavy around me. He's so intense.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Trust me, compared to Hermione, Rob is positively laid back.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57What's going on with you two?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Hey, just the man.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04It's lunchtime.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- I've got a challenge for you.- Unless it involves eating my sandwich
0:12:07 > 0:12:09and ignoring you, I'm not interested.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11You will be. It's a patient with a very unusual condition.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12It's your speciality.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15All right, book an appointment.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17I'll see them another time.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Oh, OK. I guess if you're not up for it...
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Your Jedi mind tricks are not going to work on me.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25The force is strong with this one.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27To be honest, it's probably not something
0:12:27 > 0:12:30you can really help with anyway, you know.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- We'll never know.- Yeah, OK.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37All right, Reid!
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- What is it?- You sure?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I could always ask the opinion of one of the more experienced doctors.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Just tell me.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51OK. Male, mid thirties. He hears music everywhere he goes.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- He knows it's not real? - Yes. So he's not psychotic.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58And he's suffering from hearing loss, isn't he?
0:12:58 > 0:12:59How did you know that?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- It's Musical Ear Syndrome?- What?!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Is that, is that even real?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Yeah, it's like an auditory version of Charles Bonnet Syndrome.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10OK, now you're just showing off. Charles who?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12What? Oh, do some homework, man!
0:13:12 > 0:13:16Charles Bonnet described visual hallucinations in the blind.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I'll pop my invoice in the post to you.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21And in the meantime, let's just bask in my genius.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24I'll leave you to bask alone.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28She doesn't know about boundaries, you know.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32At first I thought it was exciting, but now...
0:13:32 > 0:13:35- she goes too far. - Yeah, but you like her, don't you?
0:13:35 > 0:13:40Yeah. She's fun - she can be alive, she can be quirky.
0:13:40 > 0:13:46But then, she lets things get out of hand and I just don't know any more.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Why are you looking for reasons for it not to work
0:13:48 > 0:13:50when you're clearly suited?
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Ha! I could say the same about you.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Yeah, but at least, I'm going to try and find out something about him.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01When did relationships get so complicated?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Used to be that you'd meet someone, get married, stay together for ever.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06It's meant to be that simple.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Complicated relationships are all we've got, so...
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Yeah.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16To complicated relationships.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17I'll drink to that.
0:14:20 > 0:14:26JAWS THEME TUNE PLAYS
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- Penny for them.- Uh?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Your thoughts.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36Oh! I was just...thinking about corporate restructuring.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39I guess someone has to.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43MUSIC INTENSIFIES
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Yeah, the boys are going to be down there Friday night.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53That's going to be a massive one.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55A two-day hangover at the very least.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57TELEPHONE RINGS
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Hello?
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Please tell me that you're not going to go through with this madness.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10Fear not, my sword will remain firmly in its sheath.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Oh, literally, or is that a euphemism?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I'm not going to fight a duel over Valerie.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I've known you do crazier things.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20He's posturing, Ashley's just showing off.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23What was he going to fight you with anyway?
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Barbed words?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27I don't think either of us are the swashbuckling type.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28I'm relieved to hear it.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33It is time.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Ashley, I'll give it a miss.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Coward.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Steady on.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39What's in the box?
0:15:39 > 0:15:40Behold.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Please tell me that those are fakes?
0:15:48 > 0:15:49How could we fight with fakes?
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Be careful, my love.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52You don't need to worry about me.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57So, sir, shall we retire to the battlefield?
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Ashley, this is ridiculous.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00We're not going to shoot each other over Valerie.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- We're not in the 19th century. - I knew it.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05You are too much of a coward to face me.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Will you stop saying that?
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Only a man without honour would hide behind words.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14HE CLUCKS
0:16:14 > 0:16:15How dare you.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17HE CONTINUES CLUCKING
0:16:17 > 0:16:20This is intolerable!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I shall be waiting outside.
0:16:22 > 0:16:27Then, we will see who is the man, and who is the mouse.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28I thought he was a chicken.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34He is both. He is a mouse and a chicken.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37And a spineless coward.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Heston, you're not going out there.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I will not be spoken to in that way.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Then you will write him a very sternly-worded letter.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48But this is a health centre,
0:16:48 > 0:16:51we cannot start firing pistols on the patio.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52They're only replicas.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54And when they go bang? May I remind you
0:16:54 > 0:16:57that we have the over sixties incontinence group this afternoon.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01And when they get a shock, I am not going to be cleaning up after them.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I'm only going to have a civilised conversation with him.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Excuse me. Set him straight on a few things.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10ROCKY THEME TUNE PLAYS
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Thanks for coming.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14We're going to crack this.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19ROCKY THEME TUNE CONTINUES
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Musical Ear Syndrome?
0:17:21 > 0:17:23It's a real thing.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- No...- Really.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27See, you're not the only one.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31You might not be able to stop the music,
0:17:31 > 0:17:33but you can change the way you feel about it.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35It's nothing to be ashamed of.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- Do you reckon?- Yes.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40And remember, it's you who is choosing the music,
0:17:40 > 0:17:42even if it's your subconscious.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45So maybe you're just trying to tell yourself something.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50I think I know what the songs are trying to tell me.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Yeah. Then maybe you should do something about it.
0:17:53 > 0:17:58ROCKY THEME TUNE CONTINUES
0:17:58 > 0:18:00If I don't survive this encounter...
0:18:00 > 0:18:02But you will! You must!
0:18:02 > 0:18:09But if I don't, know that I go to my grave thinking only of you.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- I love you. - I love you too.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15There's been a terrible misunderstanding.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I didn't believe you'd come.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21I don't have romantic feelings for Valerie and I never have done.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Liar! You would say anything to save your own skin.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28I would not. Valerie, I don't love you.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Truly, madly, deeply, I don't.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You are without honour. Face me.
0:18:32 > 0:18:36- No.- Ten paces, then turn and fire.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38One...
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Great job calming him down.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43..two... Stand back, my love.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45..three...
0:18:45 > 0:18:47It's a fake. Let him have his fun.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48..four...
0:18:48 > 0:18:49The pair of them are delusional.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51..five...
0:18:51 > 0:18:53The last thing we should do is encourage them.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- ..six...- Ashley, where did you get these guns?
0:18:55 > 0:18:56..seven...
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Why?
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- ..eight...- I'd get out of the way if I were you.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01..nine...
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Why? What's wrong
0:19:02 > 0:19:04..ten!
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Hang on a minute...
0:19:05 > 0:19:06GUNSHOT
0:19:06 > 0:19:09ASHLEY MOANS
0:19:14 > 0:19:18ROCKY THEME TUNE CONTINUES
0:19:18 > 0:19:20So, are you looking forward to tonight?
0:19:20 > 0:19:25- Yeah.- Might want to book the morning off, just in case.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28What? A couple of drinks, sparkling company,
0:19:28 > 0:19:29you never know what might happen.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Amy, could I have a word, please?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34- Sure.- In there.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Trying to get her alone?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Watch out, Amy, you know what they say -
0:19:39 > 0:19:43it's the quiet ones you've got to look out for.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46MUSIC: "Your Song" by Elton John
0:19:49 > 0:19:53# It's a little bit funny
0:19:53 > 0:19:57# This feeling inside... #
0:19:57 > 0:19:58What is it?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01# ..those who can easily... #
0:20:01 > 0:20:03I was just...
0:20:03 > 0:20:05# ..don't have much money... #
0:20:05 > 0:20:06I was just...
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Max?
0:20:09 > 0:20:15OK. Right, this is going to seem really weird...
0:20:15 > 0:20:18but I don't know how else to say it.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19Say what?
0:20:21 > 0:20:25- HE SINGS ALONG:- # If I was a sculptor
0:20:25 > 0:20:27# But then again, no
0:20:27 > 0:20:31# Or a man who makes potions
0:20:31 > 0:20:35# In a travelling show
0:20:35 > 0:20:38# I know it's not much
0:20:38 > 0:20:43# But it's the best I can do
0:20:43 > 0:20:46# My gift is my song
0:20:46 > 0:20:50# And this one's for you... #
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Oh, my poor, injured hero.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I failed you.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Oh, no, you could never do that.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Is this OK?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Perfect.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Right. OK, this is going to sting a bit,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07because you've got quite a burn there.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08All right.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11HE GROANS
0:21:11 > 0:21:13What have you been playing at?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Trust me when I say you don't want to know.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Is that a gun?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Why did you shoot him?
0:21:19 > 0:21:20I didn't. He shot himself.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22You bested me, sir.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26No. Um...
0:21:26 > 0:21:29You were right about me.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34I was too cowardly to pull the trigger.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Even though my heart beats with love for this wondrous lady,
0:21:38 > 0:21:42and I must step aside for the better man.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Am I dreaming?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Sadly not. But hopefully, we can get back to reality
0:21:47 > 0:21:49and forget this ever happened.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Or not.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59# ..I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind
0:21:59 > 0:22:03# That I put down in words
0:22:04 > 0:22:08# How wonderful life is
0:22:08 > 0:22:12# Now you're in the world. #
0:22:16 > 0:22:20Who'd have thought you had such a beautiful voice?
0:22:20 > 0:22:21- Sorry.- Why?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24MUSIC STOPS
0:22:24 > 0:22:27It's stopped.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28What?
0:22:28 > 0:22:31I hear songs, all the time.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Everywhere I go.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I can't get them out of my head.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38They remind me of you.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42I've never been serenaded before.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Sorry, I shouldn't have done it.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46I know you're going out with Paul tonight.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50That? Oh, no. No, no, that's just a work schmoozing thing.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Believe me, I wouldn't want to spend any more time with him
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- than I absolutely had to. - Oh. Right...
0:22:55 > 0:22:56HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Good, OK, good.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Um... Then...
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Uh...
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Maybe you should stick to singing.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12The answer's yes.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17I didn't ask you anything.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Yeah, you did.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23MUSIC: "For Once In My Life" by Frank Sinatra
0:23:33 > 0:23:37# For once in my life I've got someone... #
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Where did you get the guns?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48A gentleman never reveals his sources.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51You can either tell me here or down at the station.
0:23:51 > 0:23:52Makes no difference to me.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55A friend of mine is involved in Cavalier reconstruction battles.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58- He lent them to me. Ow!- Um...
0:23:58 > 0:24:00They are very good replicas.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02They only fire blanks.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05You can still hurt someone firing blanks.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I know, I did - me!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Did you know there are serious penalties for carrying
0:24:09 > 0:24:11around weapons like this without a license?
0:24:11 > 0:24:13No. I didn't.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Sergeant Hollins, could we...?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17I don't really want to talk to you just yet.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21I didn't know they were dangerous.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24My friend just said they'd make an impressive sound.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26I thought it would impress Valerie.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Yeah, well, I hope it did,
0:24:27 > 0:24:30because three different members of the public have phoned in
0:24:30 > 0:24:31saying they've heard a gunshot.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33I'm sorry.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39I'm going to let you off this time with a warning.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Oh, oh, thank you.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43But I will need to keep the guns.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46My friend will want them back.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Well, then he'll have to come down the station, won't he,
0:24:48 > 0:24:50and explain why he's lending out dangerous weapons!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Yes, thank you, Sergeant Hollins.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Hello.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Hi.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03And now, my sweet, I shall carry you off into the sunset.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Are those two clowns for real?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08You don't have to work with them.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11How's the job hunt going?
0:25:11 > 0:25:15It's a mini disaster. But you know what?
0:25:15 > 0:25:16I think I like it here.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19You always did.
0:25:19 > 0:25:24Bye, everyone. It's been a magical time.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Is this going to be a long speech?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Goodbye, Valerie.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Ashley, goodbye.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- Oh, sorry...- Oh!
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Right, can we get back to normality?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Al. You got a moment.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Listen, I'm sorry if I've been a bit grouchy with you today.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57I had an argument with Hermione when we got in last night.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Oh.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Yeah, so I didn't mean to be grumpy.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03And sorry if I've been avoiding you.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Mate, I've been in a grump since last night as well.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07But Hermione is history, yes?
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Oh, no! She's way too special to lose.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Oh.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15I thought you'd be please for me.
0:26:15 > 0:26:20Look, mate, something happened in the pub last night. Something weird.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22You had less than ten pints?
0:26:22 > 0:26:25No, it wasn't that. It was...
0:26:25 > 0:26:27It was Hermione.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30What?
0:26:30 > 0:26:32I know normally we wouldn't be natural love rivals
0:26:32 > 0:26:37- and I would never tread on your toes.- What are you talking about?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40When you went to the loo last night, Hermione kissed me.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Shut up.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Look, I didn't reciprocate and I'm aware that it sounds ridiculous,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50it's just that after Daniel and Blondie,
0:26:50 > 0:26:51it didn't seem right not to say anything.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55You're Dr Jimmi Clay and you're my main man and...
0:26:55 > 0:26:57I'm sorry.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05I have bought a few gifts.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08This is for his bedroom.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- Where's my bag? I need my phone. - No.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13You only came in with two sets of wings and single wand.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Oh, it was just a kiss!
0:27:15 > 0:27:17So are we ready to rock and roll?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19We're ready.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
0:27:21 > 0:27:23the love of God and the fellowship
0:27:23 > 0:27:25of the Holy Spirit be with you all.