Wires Crossed

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0:00:36 > 0:00:37Morning.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Yeah, good.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45Thank you. What's the catch?

0:00:45 > 0:00:48- There is no catch.- You're not going to try and convince me

0:00:48 > 0:00:52that I like going down the dogs, or mud-wrestling or something?

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Funnily enough - and this is really weird -

0:00:54 > 0:00:57mud is involved.

0:00:57 > 0:01:01"Relax in the natural surroundings of the Aquarian Spa and Lodge."

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Ooh, The Aquarian.

0:01:04 > 0:01:05Great beds.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08I thought I better put you first, this time.

0:01:08 > 0:01:09There's not a sports channel,

0:01:09 > 0:01:12a pool table or a dartboard within nine miles of this place.

0:01:12 > 0:01:13What was it like? Was it good?

0:01:13 > 0:01:15- No idea.- Why?

0:01:15 > 0:01:19Scented candles, perfumed oils,

0:01:19 > 0:01:21generous Roman-style bath.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Didn't leave the room for three days.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26Needed another holiday just to recover.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28You think this is a dirty weekend?

0:01:29 > 0:01:32Oh. Er, no!

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Gotta go.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47- WOMAN:- Coffee. Just coffee.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Could you pass the milk, please?

0:01:51 > 0:01:52I'll be over here.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56Your dream guy's here.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58Tried some weird line on me about milk.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02- You spoke to him?! Oh, Zoe! You promised!- What?

0:02:02 > 0:02:06I can tell you, I am done with hot, arty grunge puppies.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08You dodged a bullet with him, trust me.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10The bullet dodged me. It always does.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12I can't help that he fell for me, Lena.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14But trust me, this new guy?

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Not for me. I mean, look at him.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19He's gorge', yeah,

0:02:19 > 0:02:21but these brooding, loner types...

0:02:21 > 0:02:23I mean, sure, there's great,

0:02:23 > 0:02:25intense, ripped T-shirt stuff at the start,

0:02:25 > 0:02:27but then it just gets messy.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30What I wouldn't do for a guy to just see me and not you.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33I swear. I'm not interested.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Look how good we'd be together.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40You...left these.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Oh, my God. He was right there!

0:02:46 > 0:02:47You scared him away!

0:02:47 > 0:02:53Better me frightening him away than your unicorn wedding fantasy.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55I'll make it up to you. I promise.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59I mean, I do fancy you,

0:02:59 > 0:03:01and obviously I would like to do it, but it's not about that.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Aah!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05I don't understand why you're getting so angry.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07It's not like we haven't done it before.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09- I haven't!- We've got two kids!

0:03:10 > 0:03:13What about that bloke at Christmas?

0:03:16 > 0:03:18I'm surprised you took me to the pictures.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Why didn't we just nip out by the bike sheds?!

0:03:20 > 0:03:24It's supposed to be a nice, romantic weekend.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27I can't just switch it off.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Eeurgh!- No, not that!

0:03:29 > 0:03:31I'm talking about how I feel about you!

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Oh, this is ridiculous!

0:03:36 > 0:03:40- Oh, mate. You shouldn't have. - No, I shouldn't.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43What did I miss?

0:03:43 > 0:03:45He was right there.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49Like...destiny or something. And I blew it.

0:03:49 > 0:03:50Look, it could have been much worse.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52He could have seen the fact you'd drawn him

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- as a shirtless dude with a sword. - Not helping.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58Look, you keep putting these guys on pedestals

0:03:58 > 0:04:01and then panicking about it until you have a massive meltdown.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Look, he's over there.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Just go up to him. Find something in common, talk about it.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09Do that. I'll be your wingman.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10I still don't know his name.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Just start talking. Something in common.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Charity abseil!

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Oh, those poor, poor souls.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26Yeah. It's a real shame.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Are you doing it? The abseil?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Yeah! You?

0:04:31 > 0:04:32Yeah.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Those poor animals, right?- Right!

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Hi. Sorry to butt in.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Er... Can we have a word?

0:04:39 > 0:04:41I guess I'll see you around.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44What are you doing?!

0:04:44 > 0:04:45You just told him you're doing the abseil!

0:04:45 > 0:04:48You said, "Find something in common." Now we have the abseil.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50You're afraid of heights.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52What's he going to think when you start crying

0:04:52 > 0:04:54halfway up a wall, tied to a shoelace?

0:04:59 > 0:05:02If they would just stop sneezing for five minutes,

0:05:02 > 0:05:04I might be able to hear myself think.

0:05:04 > 0:05:05It's that time of year.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Half hay fever, half colds.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Mrs Fairhurst sneezed in my face earlier.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Lovely.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Um... Are you free for lunch?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Not really. I've made plans.

0:05:21 > 0:05:22I was...

0:05:22 > 0:05:24I was going to visit your dad's memorial later.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Take some flowers. I thought maybe we could go together.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28You can see I'm busy.

0:05:28 > 0:05:32And it's chocka out there, OK? And honestly?

0:05:32 > 0:05:35I think the living deserve our attention right now.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38KNOCK ON DOOR

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Come in.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Please take a seat.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45So, Miss Roy.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47You want to talk to me about anxiety.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49BOTH: Yes.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52There are two of you.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54It's OK, we're together.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56I was thinking more about confidentiality.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59She tells me everything anyway. I'm sort of her mum.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01I do. She is.

0:06:01 > 0:06:02So, you're Lena?

0:06:02 > 0:06:05You want to talk to me about anxiety.

0:06:05 > 0:06:06Fear, really.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09The things she's afraid of, they can be overcome, right?

0:06:09 > 0:06:13Well, it depends. Is it a rational fear, or is it more like a phobia?

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Is there much of a difference?

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Well, phobias can tend to be a little bit more peculiar.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Take, for example, geniophobia.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Which is a fear of... Anyone?

0:06:22 > 0:06:24It's a fear of chins. Fear of chins.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Zoe has one about chewed pens.

0:06:27 > 0:06:28No way.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32No. This is rational.

0:06:32 > 0:06:37Totally rational anxiety and fear and meltdown.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Over heights, mainly.

0:06:39 > 0:06:43Well, in my honest opinion, our fears are there for a reason.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Our fears keep us from doing things which aren't safe for us.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49So, we're afraid of fire because it burns us.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52And we're afraid of heights, because if we fall from them,

0:06:52 > 0:06:55we break and burst and leave a very unsightly mess.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57So, I would say, listen to your fears.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59They will keep you alive.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04HE COUGHS

0:07:04 > 0:07:05Good old Mr Larkin and his slippers.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08When they made him, they threw away the mould.

0:07:08 > 0:07:09Yeah. And then it grew back.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Oh, poor fella. Don't be rotten.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13A word.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18Is today completely lost on you?

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Because I'm not moping around?

0:07:20 > 0:07:23No, but you could show some respect.

0:07:24 > 0:07:29A year ago today, my dad was a broken man in a bed.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32All this solemn stuff,

0:07:32 > 0:07:34the flowers and the moping,

0:07:34 > 0:07:37it's not for Dad.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39So who's this for, really?

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Is it for you?

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Everyone else?

0:07:45 > 0:07:49Tell me, today is the anniversary of what, Mum?

0:07:49 > 0:07:52A man in bed, desperate to die!

0:07:54 > 0:07:58If you ask me, remembering that is pretty messed up.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02And I don't want to remember that.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12You didn't have to tell him about the chewed pens.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15It was your idea to go there, and it didn't work at all.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18How about if you sign up for something else,

0:08:18 > 0:08:22like the air guitar thing, or the sponsored, you know, whatever.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25And it clashes with the abseil - "Oh, dear, too bad.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27"But why don't we go for a drink and you can tell me

0:08:27 > 0:08:29- "all about blah blah." - Yeah, yeah!

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Oh, hey. Oh, cool!

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Are you guys about to sign up?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Yeah! One abseil, please!

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Let me get the shot. It's for the SU.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Just act natural.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Perfect.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47KNOCK ON DOOR

0:08:47 > 0:08:48Come in!

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Hey, you wanted to see me.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Yes.

0:08:55 > 0:08:59I understand that today is a very sensitive day

0:08:59 > 0:09:01for you and your mother,

0:09:01 > 0:09:03but as manager of this practice,

0:09:03 > 0:09:05I still have to hold you to certain standards.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08And the way you spoke to your...

0:09:08 > 0:09:10The way you spoke to Dr Reid earlier,

0:09:10 > 0:09:12well, it just wasn't on.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14I understand that we all have

0:09:14 > 0:09:17different ways of dealing with things and...

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Well, this is still a place of work.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22Dr Reid still deserves your respect,

0:09:22 > 0:09:24but above all,

0:09:24 > 0:09:27the decent thing is to give the support your mother needs.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29I know there might be some water under the bridge

0:09:29 > 0:09:31between you and me, Howard,

0:09:31 > 0:09:34but you don't get to lecture me on what's decent.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Now, look...- Do you want me to bottle it up and to lie?

0:09:38 > 0:09:41That might be what you're good at, but not me.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44So today, you do your job, I'll do mine

0:09:44 > 0:09:47and we stay out of each other's way.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53FOOTSTEPS RUNNING

0:09:53 > 0:09:56Doctor! I know you must be dead busy. But this anxiety thing...

0:09:56 > 0:09:58- We're kinda desperate. - All right. Chill out.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01If it's really that much of an issue, we'll book you a referral.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04That'll take too long! Is there something I can take?

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Like, if I was flying on holiday and was scared?

0:10:06 > 0:10:09It's for this charity abseil, and, well, she's going to have

0:10:09 > 0:10:11a meltdown up there if we don't, you know, dope her up.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'm hardly going to sedate her

0:10:13 > 0:10:15if she's going to be climbing off the edge of a building, am I?

0:10:15 > 0:10:18Look, I know it's for charity and we all feel great...

0:10:18 > 0:10:20- It really is!- Do you not think it might be an idea to

0:10:20 > 0:10:22do something a little less nerve-racking?

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Something where you're less

0:10:24 > 0:10:26frightened about becoming Humpty Dumpty?

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Cos I tell you now, all the kings horses and all...

0:10:28 > 0:10:30I've got pins and needles.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33Lena. Lena, you need to take some deep breaths.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Do it with me. Breathe in...

0:10:36 > 0:10:37Hold it

0:10:37 > 0:10:39and breath out. That's it.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42You are on the edge of a panic attack.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44If that doesn't tell you that you shouldn't be doing this,

0:10:44 > 0:10:47- then I don't know what will. - Yeah, well, you're not helping!

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Keeping on about me ending up in hospital.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52I need you guys to think I can do this because I don't, OK?

0:11:00 > 0:11:03- This is getting stupid, you know? - What did you expect?

0:11:03 > 0:11:04That you'd listen to my advice!

0:11:04 > 0:11:06I'm sure I told you to butt out.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Maybe it's you that should listen for a change, hey?

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Is everything all right with you two?

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Right, listen to me.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17I, right now, could be at the pub, playing snooker with my mates,

0:11:17 > 0:11:19eating today's special, which is shepherd's pie,

0:11:19 > 0:11:22being served by the new barmaid who looks like Holly Thingyboobs.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25But I'm not, cos I'm here, grovelling to you because I miss you

0:11:25 > 0:11:26and I want to spend time with you.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Now, that may be the least manly thing in the world to admit,

0:11:29 > 0:11:32- but it's true.- Shut up.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35I've been meaning to text, cos I wanted to say...

0:11:35 > 0:11:37(I wanted to say that I'm sorry.)

0:11:37 > 0:11:38Sorry?

0:11:38 > 0:11:41Yeah. I'm sor... I was just being

0:11:41 > 0:11:43a stroppy kid, I think.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45I wasn't being fair.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48But I thought we could

0:11:48 > 0:11:52get another date under our belts before we...

0:11:54 > 0:11:55..get ahead of ourselves.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00Deal.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10- Doctor Whiskey.- Bro-han.

0:12:10 > 0:12:11Will you be joining us on Saturday?

0:12:11 > 0:12:13Apparently, they've got the Bearded Pony

0:12:13 > 0:12:16and some Savage Badger over at The Pilgrim.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19By my troth, I hereby pledge to drink every pony, donkey

0:12:19 > 0:12:21and dinosaur you lay in front of me.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Cool. I'll update the page after tonight.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Send you out an invite.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27I will literally drink to that.

0:12:28 > 0:12:29You know him?

0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Hey?- You know him.- Hi.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34- That guy. Lena's dream guy. - Johan?- Yeah.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38Yeah, we're mates. I'm an honorary member of his Real Ale Society.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41Honorary member/ technical advisor.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43- You? Mates with him. - Yeah, why is that weird?

0:12:43 > 0:12:46It's just he's, you know, cool?

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Johan?

0:12:48 > 0:12:49Yes? Isn't he?

0:12:49 > 0:12:51If your idea of cool is table-top gaming

0:12:51 > 0:12:53and coding in Unix, then yeah, he's cool in the gang.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56- I don't know what those things are. - Exactly.

0:12:56 > 0:12:57So he's a nerd?

0:12:57 > 0:12:59A 24 carat one.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01A fit nerd?

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Yeah, there are lots of us around.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06A fit nerd.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07But he's adventurous, right?

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Abseiling and volunteering and stuff?- No.

0:13:11 > 0:13:12Whoa, whoa, whoa.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15Is Lena doing all this because of him?

0:13:15 > 0:13:17That is a ridiculous idea.

0:13:17 > 0:13:21Johan is a pint and slippers kind of guy,

0:13:21 > 0:13:23not skiing and parachutes.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25He's as dull and boring as they come,

0:13:25 > 0:13:27and that's coming from me.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Seriously, talk her down.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34- KAREN:- Even thinking like an 18-year-old,

0:13:34 > 0:13:35I feel a bit daft on here.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Yeah. We have been here before.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41It was your idea.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Felt a bit daft then.- Sounds it.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48But you can't remember.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52I'll remember this time.

0:13:52 > 0:13:56So, why did I bring you here, do you remember?

0:13:56 > 0:13:59We were...just going through a bit of a bad patch

0:13:59 > 0:14:03and we were trying to fix our lives.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09How did you make it up to me that time?

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Did you buy me a teddy bear and take me on a caravan holiday?

0:14:14 > 0:14:17No, I saved you from a burning building.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19SHE LAUGHS

0:14:21 > 0:14:25Really?! Wow!

0:14:26 > 0:14:29Oh, well, let's not worry about the past. Not right now.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32Let's think about the future. And...

0:14:34 > 0:14:38Why don't you take me somewhere I have never, ever been?

0:14:53 > 0:14:55APPLAUSE

0:14:58 > 0:15:00- Hey.- Hey.

0:15:00 > 0:15:01I'm just psyching myself up to opt out.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04I've gave it some thought and maybe you and that doctor guy were right.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07Yeah, about that. I just bumped into him a minute ago and...

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Whoa, whoa, careful.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13What?

0:15:13 > 0:15:14I think you should go for it!

0:15:14 > 0:15:18- We both do, me and the doctor. 100%.- Yeah?

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Yeah, just go for it. Get up there. Face it.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Be wild. Just scream from the rooftops that you love the outdoors

0:15:23 > 0:15:25and adventure and all that.

0:15:25 > 0:15:26- Really?- Yeah. For Johan.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29- Johan?- That's his name.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Johan!

0:15:31 > 0:15:32And you really think I can do this?

0:15:32 > 0:15:35Would I be saying any of this if I didn't?

0:15:35 > 0:15:38So... Let's do this!

0:15:46 > 0:15:48They call it a bucket list, don't they? So, go on.

0:15:48 > 0:15:53What things have you still got that you want to do?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Well, I've always wanted to catch a marlin.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58A big, 1,000lb Pacific blue.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00- You're on your own with that one. - Off the coast of Fiji.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01Hello, that's...

0:16:06 > 0:16:08- I've been here.- Have you?

0:16:08 > 0:16:11Yeah. In the restaurant..

0:16:13 > 0:16:16Clear as day. We've been here.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Yeah, yeah, no...

0:16:18 > 0:16:19There's...

0:16:19 > 0:16:24They've got a waiter, with a big Magnum 'tache.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26And you had...

0:16:27 > 0:16:29You had pumpkin ravioli!

0:16:29 > 0:16:31There's a big picture of Sophia Loren in the gents.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33We did it!

0:16:33 > 0:16:35We found a memory!

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Oh, oh!

0:16:39 > 0:16:44# Amazing grace

0:16:44 > 0:16:47# How sweet the ground

0:16:47 > 0:16:54# I really need a wee

0:16:54 > 0:16:57# I know I'm daft

0:16:57 > 0:17:01# But all I ask

0:17:01 > 0:17:05# Is Johan to snog me. #

0:17:07 > 0:17:08Lena Roy!

0:17:28 > 0:17:30Thank you.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Oh, ta.- Thanks.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Well, the waitress hasn't got a moustache...

0:17:39 > 0:17:41So maybe he's got the day off.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43But I can remember it -

0:17:43 > 0:17:46look, the plastic flowers, the salt shakers!

0:17:46 > 0:17:50That's all pretty standard stuff for a restaurant.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52I'm not getting carried away.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Honestly, I promise you.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57I can remember it all.

0:17:57 > 0:17:58Or it's deja vu.

0:17:58 > 0:18:02You're just seeing what's in front of you.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05I mean, I can't find any pumpkin whatsit on the menu.

0:18:07 > 0:18:10And there ain't no moustachioed waiter.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13I just don't want you to get excited.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16And if you're trying to cheer me up...

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Rob.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32Have you seen Chris?

0:18:32 > 0:18:34He had plans.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38Look, I heard about your chat.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40You don't need to fight my battles, Howard.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43My concerns were primarily for the surgery.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46I'd have called Jimmi and Heston on the same behaviour.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Even so. How are you feeling?

0:18:54 > 0:18:59You know, you're the first person to actually ask me that today.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01You shouldn't be worried about what Chris said.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03He's right.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05What am I doing?

0:19:05 > 0:19:07At least Chris is being honest.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10At least he feels something.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18Come on. Out with it.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23- What?- The long face.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25We've got ice cream and fizz next

0:19:25 > 0:19:28and you look like you're eating the neighbour's dog.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30It's nothing.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31Don't try that.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33I know you well enough now.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38OK.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42I have never been to this restaurant. Ever.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45I remember it as clear as a bell.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Maybe you do. But you didn't come with me.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49I swear!

0:19:49 > 0:19:51I had the chicken Parmesan, you had the pumpkin ravioli

0:19:51 > 0:19:53and I was jealous all the time.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56No, there's no way I would come to a restaurant

0:19:56 > 0:19:58and order a main course that wasn't meat.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02This memory you have...

0:20:02 > 0:20:04I'm not in it.

0:20:13 > 0:20:17So, what do you like to do at the weekends?

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Oh, you know.

0:20:19 > 0:20:20Gigs.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Get the first train to nowhere.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25I don't really like to plan.

0:20:25 > 0:20:29Shame. I'm getting a bit tired of all these student parties now.

0:20:29 > 0:20:34Traffic lights and foam and shots, you know?

0:20:34 > 0:20:35Probably sounds dead weird,

0:20:35 > 0:20:38but I'd much rather stay in

0:20:38 > 0:20:40and watch Fringe on DVD,

0:20:40 > 0:20:42drink some old, warm beer.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Deadlier than the male.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59First you think I'm a cheap date

0:20:59 > 0:21:01and now you're saying I'm a cheat!

0:21:01 > 0:21:03I'm just curious to know how you know

0:21:03 > 0:21:05what pictures are up in the gents toilets!

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Who knows?! You're the one banging on

0:21:07 > 0:21:08about us having a perfect marriage.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Why would I come here with another man?! You tell me!

0:21:11 > 0:21:14That's what I'd like to find out! Maybe we should ask Tom Selleck!

0:21:14 > 0:21:15Oi, Magnum, come here!

0:21:15 > 0:21:18Says the man going on about booby barmaids down the pub!

0:21:20 > 0:21:22SHE PANTS

0:21:23 > 0:21:26Halt! Halt the leap!

0:21:26 > 0:21:28Oh, my God. What are you doing?

0:21:28 > 0:21:31So many stairs.

0:21:31 > 0:21:32You can't do this.

0:21:32 > 0:21:34Zoe said you were both up for it.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38What? No, we were just talking about Johan.

0:21:38 > 0:21:42I was saying that this was a ridiculous way to impress him.

0:21:42 > 0:21:43Johan?

0:21:43 > 0:21:48Yeah. She was asking questions about what a massive nerd he is.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Nerdy? Nerdy? A fit nerd?

0:21:51 > 0:21:53Yes, I don't know why that's so difficult to believe.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55He's a pleasant-looking nerd.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Right. Let's do this!

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Whoa, where are you going?

0:22:03 > 0:22:05But by using an infra-red film,

0:22:05 > 0:22:08the colours get this incredible bleached-out effect.

0:22:08 > 0:22:09Amazing.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12You must take some great photos of your girlfriend.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Oh, no way, are you single?

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Never.

0:22:21 > 0:22:24"I can't help it that he fell for me."

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Well, not this time, Zoe!

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Over my dead body!

0:22:29 > 0:22:30Hopefully not.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Seven minutes and three.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31I'm never going to beat your personal best, am I?

0:23:36 > 0:23:39I can see why you were always in such a rush to get up here.

0:23:41 > 0:23:45I used to think it was just for that incline,

0:23:45 > 0:23:47but it's not, is it?

0:23:49 > 0:23:52It's for that view.

0:23:52 > 0:23:53Being above it all.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58I know you'd hate to hear me say it, Dad,

0:23:58 > 0:24:00but I hope that's where you are.

0:24:01 > 0:24:02Above it all.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08- (VOICE BREAKS)- And I hope...

0:24:09 > 0:24:10I hope you know I'm sorry.

0:24:13 > 0:24:14I'm so sorry.

0:24:28 > 0:24:29THEY CHEER

0:24:29 > 0:24:32- Wow!- Wow. That was brilliant.

0:24:32 > 0:24:33I know!

0:24:33 > 0:24:34You actually did it.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37You seem surprised, Zoe. Not what you were expecting?

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Oh, er...- And you!

0:24:40 > 0:24:44You said you'd be up there, and here you are, flirting with her.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46OK. Confession time.

0:24:46 > 0:24:47Yeah?

0:24:47 > 0:24:49I, uh...

0:24:50 > 0:24:54I sort of pretended to be interested in this whole abseil thing

0:24:54 > 0:24:56just to get your attention.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58I wasn't even looking at the poster.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01I was just moving it to stick up the Real Ale Society one.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03I'm... I'm the president.

0:25:05 > 0:25:06- For real?- Yeah.

0:25:06 > 0:25:10I was only talking to your friend so I could try and find out your name.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13I just wanted an opening

0:25:13 > 0:25:16and you were excited about this and I just went along with it.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18I had to beg the SU to let me cover it.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20My name's Lena.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23I'll tell you a secret, then, Lena.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27I'm actually pretty nervous about heights.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Really? I know a great cure.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Well, that wasn't the nicest thing to do, was it?

0:25:39 > 0:25:42Trying to make a fool out of your friend.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Yeah, well, she won in the end.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46- There is a runners-up prize, you know.- Really?

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Yeah. It's a chewed pen.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Oh!

0:25:53 > 0:25:55Oh, don't be like that.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58It's not the first time we've been thrown out of a restaurant.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Yes, it... Yes, it is.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03You talk to me like I'm some film you've already seen!

0:26:03 > 0:26:05What?

0:26:05 > 0:26:08It matters so much when I remember something.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10I don't think you have any idea how it feels.

0:26:10 > 0:26:15I feels... It feels like... like I'm coming up for air.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20And then you just open your big cakehole and spoil it all!

0:26:20 > 0:26:22I'd still like to find out

0:26:22 > 0:26:25how you know what's in the gentlemen's toilets.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29You know, I felt sorry for you.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31All that stuff about missing me.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34You haven't got a clue who I am,

0:26:34 > 0:26:37because I'll tell you now, I would never cheat.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40No... Fine.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45Neither of us know all the answers, do we?

0:26:47 > 0:26:49At least let me take you home.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51No, thanks. One thing my mum taught me,

0:26:51 > 0:26:55I remember that, I remember it really well -

0:26:55 > 0:26:58don't accept invitations from strangers.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08- What happened? - I got mugged last night.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10No?! Are you all right?

0:27:10 > 0:27:11Yeah, I'm fine.

0:27:11 > 0:27:14- What did they take?- Just 20 quid.

0:27:14 > 0:27:15Hello.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Do you know that I had forgotten

0:27:19 > 0:27:22what a lovely tone of voice you have, Howard.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25You're the one who brought me up to be a softie.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28So no wonder I'm a target to all those people out there.