0:00:30 > 0:00:34The central heating system has been recently upgraded.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Works on flexible economy timers.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Yes, very fuel efficient.
0:00:47 > 0:00:54And as you can see all the...the original period fixtures have been maintained.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55MUSIC PLAYS OUTSIDE
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Er, yeah...you'll have no problem with a survey.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03The house is structurally sound and very well insulated.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Yeah...in fact, you're looking at a real bargain.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10MUSIC: "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" by Andy Williams
0:01:13 > 0:01:17What is wrong with you? Eh?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Oh! Look, so, yes, if you'd like to have a think
0:01:20 > 0:01:24and come back for a second viewing, that will be no problem.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26- No problem at all.- Ho, ho, ho! - Any time you want.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Merry summer everybody, merry summer! Have you been naughty or nice?
0:01:30 > 0:01:33How about cups of tea all round? Eggnog? Hot chocolate?
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Mulled wine?
0:01:35 > 0:01:40Why are you doing this? It's not Christmas for another six months!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43To quote the great Mr Dickens,
0:01:43 > 0:01:48"We should always keep Christmas in our hearts."
0:01:48 > 0:01:52I know what I'd like to put through your heart and it's not goodwill.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Admit it. You're impressed.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I feel humble in your presence.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02So you should be.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05As the only one with a background in cardiology,
0:02:05 > 0:02:11who else could Howard turn to to set up this glorious project?
0:02:11 > 0:02:16So in other words, you're not so much Howard's first choice as his only choice?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Or maybe it's because he realises it would be in everybody's
0:02:18 > 0:02:21benefit to draw upon my speciality.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23So not because you're his biggest suck-up?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25For your information Howard chose me...
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Al, how are you feeling?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Hah! You know...top of the world.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34- I know what your aunt meant to you. - Thanks.- Big day today, mate.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38- Yeah?- Howard's taking his "protege" to St Phil's this morning.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41We'll be observing an echo machine in action.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46Ooh! I don't know how you kids can contain your excitement.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50This is really important for the Mill. I don't know why people aren't taking it more seriously.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Well, cut him some slack, Kev. He's grieving.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Why don't you ask him to join us for lunch at the Icon?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Me? Why can't you do it?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Well, it'll sound more casual coming from you.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03But if you don't want to, don't worry.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I won't think you're mean-spirited or hard-hearted at all.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11We should have the results in a day or two.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- What's that?- Nowt.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Oh. Can I see?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20It's not a pretty sight.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Ah, right. Um, looks like psoriasis.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Ah. I've had it before.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Ah. Yeah. Looks like Doctor Clay treated you for the same condition
0:03:34 > 0:03:36about eight months ago.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40With some success. But it's back with a vengeance.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Have you had any major changes in diet or um...
0:03:43 > 0:03:46any undue anxiety or stress?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Stress?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Stress? My life is ruined!
0:03:55 > 0:03:56KNOCK ON DOOR
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Hello?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Miss Grady? I'm sorry. We're a little early.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03That's all right. Almost ready, yeah?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Howard Bellamy, from the Mill Health Centre and this is Doctor Tyler.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Don't you have a first name?
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Er, yeah. It's um...it's Kevin.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19Hannah. I'd offer to shake hands but they're a bit slippy at the moment.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Well, you know what they say. Better slippy than...sloppy?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I...take it this is the machine in question?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- Would you like a demonstration? - Well, if it's not too much trouble.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Not at all. All we need is a willing victim, yeah?
0:04:38 > 0:04:39HIGHPITCHED LAUGHTER
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Derek blooming Chaterton. The neighbour from hell.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- I'm having to sell my house because of him.- Why, what's he done?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Oh! Where shall I start? Music too loud. TV too loud.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Mows the lawn at midnight.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58He puts his bins out on the wrong day.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02Well, have you spoke to him about your concerns?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Well, of course I've spoken to him about my con...
0:05:05 > 0:05:07I've complained until I'm blue in the face.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Not that it's done any good.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Maybe you should think about changing tack?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14How d'you mean?
0:05:14 > 0:05:20Well, perhaps, um...just altering your tone a bit.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Oh, right. I've brought all this on myself.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26No. That is not what I was saying. I was...
0:05:26 > 0:05:31He's turned the front of his house into Santa's grotto.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33He's done what?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Well, see for yourself. 49 Milton Grove.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Sorry? - I heard the loudmouth on his mobile.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41One of your lot's going round to take his stitches out later.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Yeah, well, I'm sorry - I can't disclose that kind of information.
0:05:44 > 0:05:49Right, but when you talk to him, get him to see reason.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Get him to get shot of that Christmas stuff
0:05:52 > 0:05:54so that I can sell my house.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58Mr Rooney, it's not my job to go round interfering in neighbours' disputes.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03No. But it is your job to look after my health.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Look what he's doing to me.- OK. OK.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09What I can do is...is get you an appointment with Doctor Clay.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Oh, and that IS going to make a lot of difference.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16Well, thank you for your lack of help.
0:06:17 > 0:06:22Is there any special preparation the patient needs to undergo before they have this procedure?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25No, not usually. You can eat and drink as normal, yeah?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27And what if the patient's on medication?
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Well, it would depend what kind of medication they're taking
0:06:30 > 0:06:33but in most cases it shouldn't matter.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Come and have a look.
0:06:36 > 0:06:43You can see the aorta, left atrium, aortic valve and mitral valve, yeah?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I hope there's no problems with any of those.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47In my opinion you're looking very fit.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52How long after this test is it before you receive the scan?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Almost instantaneously.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57That's one of the benefits of this little beauty.
0:06:57 > 0:07:02The patient doesn't have a long anxious wait for a diagnostic outcome, yeah?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04- What is it? - It's just a little bit tickly.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17What are you doing?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20I've got a trapped eyelash. It's driving me crazy.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Let me.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Look up.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26Aha.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30There.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36This is ridiculous.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40How're we going to get through the whole bank holiday?
0:07:40 > 0:07:45Um...we're just going to have to control our urges.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50How d'you propose doing that? Tie a knot in it?
0:07:50 > 0:07:55Well, I dunno...maybe I could go away for a few days?
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Camping.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00You? Camping?
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Well, what's your bright idea?
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Displacement activity. We'll have make ourselves TOO busy.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Let's redecorate the whole house.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Paint fumes - Joe.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Yes. Joe.
0:08:12 > 0:08:17We could go away for the weekend to a hotel...
0:08:17 > 0:08:20That's just taking the same problem somewhere else.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23..that doesn't have a babysitting service.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Brilliant!
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Well, thank you. That was very informative. Lots to absorb.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Further information on the machine's procedures,
0:08:31 > 0:08:35plus a statistical analysis of typical diagnostic rates.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Fantastic.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40You're sticking out.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Oh, sorry!
0:08:42 > 0:08:44We should really think about making tracks.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47If you've got any more questions, I'm happy to answer them, yeah?
0:08:47 > 0:08:50I think I've got all the information I need here, thank you.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51Are you sure you wouldn't like a go?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Yes, we really should be getting back to the Mill.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56- Another time, yeah?- Yeah.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00If you're not doing anything later on, then maybe we can go for lunch?
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Yes. I'd like that, yeah.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Well! That would have been lovely - I'm afraid I'm busy.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Thanks for asking.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Doctor Tyler?
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- So, er...just...- Kevin!- Yes!
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Keith! Keith! Come and say hello to Hubert.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Come on, Hubert, come and say hello to Keith. Hello, Keith!
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Why are you doing this?
0:09:30 > 0:09:35Doing what? Oh, I'm cheering up the neighbourhood, aren't we, Hubert?
0:09:35 > 0:09:41Look, Derek, I know that we have never seen eye to eye
0:09:41 > 0:09:47but the...but look, Derek! Can you for one moment stop being annoying?
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Sorry?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Look, I was saying, can we come to some arrangement?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Oh, yes! Of course. Capital idea.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57What are you talking about?
0:09:57 > 0:09:58That here.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05Hundred quid if you take down the lot.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12Look. Why don't you come inside and we'll discuss it over tea?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I want an answer now.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17I don't want your money.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Then what do you want?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I want...
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Well what everybody wants. A wonderful white Christmas!
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Ho, ho, ho!
0:10:28 > 0:10:33There is obviously no reasoning with you.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Typical Kevin. Makes a lunch date and then leaves us waiting.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45He said he's on his way, and something about a surprise.
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Any idea what that's about?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Sorry we're late. Traffic was murder.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49We?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Hiya!
0:10:51 > 0:10:54This is Hannah. The best echocardiographer at St Phil's.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Ah, bless.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59And we don't have names? Hi, I'm Jas, this is Al.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Kevin's already told me a lot about you.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I better be on my guard, yeah?
0:11:04 > 0:11:05What?
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Well, I don't know about the rest of you but I'm starving.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12- Have you been here before? - No, Icon virgin, yeah?
0:11:12 > 0:11:13I recommend the beef pie.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Highly doubt any cow was harmed in the making of it
0:11:16 > 0:11:18but the portions are huge.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28MUSIC: "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day" by Wizzard
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Ah! Welcome, my dear!
0:11:36 > 0:11:41I have been eagerly anticipating the prospect of your merciful ministries.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43But first things first. Cup of tea?
0:11:43 > 0:11:44SHE LAUGHS
0:11:52 > 0:11:54I was beginning to wonder what happened to you.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Oh, I was just freshening up.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00That's the fifth time.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Actually, it's the sixth.- You could always come to mine, if you like.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06I might just take you up on that offer.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09How about tonight? I could make you dinner.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Or, you know...we could get something in.- Sounds good, yeah.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I'll have to ask Jas but I'm sure she won't mind - it'll be fine.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20- More wine?- Oh, go on. But just a teensy-weensy splash, yeah?
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- Wine, yeah?- No, yeah?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Has someone shot us with an invisibility ray?
0:12:25 > 0:12:30Why just a little bit? It's not like I'm trying to get you drunk! Actually, I am!
0:12:30 > 0:12:33How can he put up with that awful noise?
0:12:33 > 0:12:36It sounds like someone's strangling a baboon.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Love is blind. Lust is deaf.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40It's not a problem, is it?
0:12:40 > 0:12:41No...what?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I've invited Hannah round tonight.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45I'm quite excited.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47We can get to know each other more, yeah?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Yeah. Can't wait.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51In fact, I've got most of the afternoon off,
0:12:51 > 0:12:53if you want to come earlier?
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Yeah, that'd be great, yeah.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Great.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Well, that's wonderful! Yes!
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Well...Oh! Tell them I can move out ASA...
0:13:08 > 0:13:11What?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13No way!
0:13:13 > 0:13:14No, look. Eh!
0:13:14 > 0:13:18That's £20,000 below the ask... Yes!
0:13:18 > 0:13:23Oh, yes, I'm well aware of what the property next door looks like
0:13:23 > 0:13:27but I am... No, no I won't reconsider.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Tell them to stuff their offer!
0:13:30 > 0:13:35Right. I've had enough of this.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38In future please remind me to peel potatoes with a proper peeler.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Not an oversized kitchen knife.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Can you just keep still, please?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46You have a very gentle touch.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Obviously very experienced at this sort of thing.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54D'you come from a long line of mummifiers by any chance?
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Excuse me. Have I offended you in any way?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Well, I was wondering why you didn't come to the surgery
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- for your treatment?- Because I can't.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07Why not? Why not?
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Well, I'm...I'm sort of agoraphobic.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15I don't remember that being on your file.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17It's more of a self-diagnosis.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Look, to be perfectly honest, me and the outside world don't really see eye to eye.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24It can be very scary out there.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27All those unfriendly faces.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30So cold.
0:14:30 > 0:14:31You don't go out?
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Oh, it's not a problem. I can work from home as an IT adviser.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37And anything else I get off the internet, you know.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Yeah, but what about a social life? You know, friends?
0:14:41 > 0:14:42That kind of thing?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44There's websites for that.
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Yeah, but it's not the same, is it? I mean, as face-to-face contact.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52No, thank you. You mean mister ratbag next door?
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- I get enough of that with him! - Mr Rooney?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Have you met him yet, have you? Moan. Moan. Moan.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Morning, noon and night.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Well, maybe he's got something legitimate to moan about.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Like what?- There's a lot of decorations out there.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Oh, yes. What d'you think of my modest little display?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12It's hard not to notice. You must really love Christmas.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15You're joking, aren't you? I hate it.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19I hate everything to do with Christmas.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22# Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel... #
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Christmas is cancelled.
0:15:28 > 0:15:33# Noel, Noel, the angels did say
0:15:33 > 0:15:39# Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay... #
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Hasta la vista, Rudolph!
0:15:44 > 0:15:46# ..lay keeping their sheep
0:15:46 > 0:15:54# On a cold winter's night that was so deep
0:15:54 > 0:15:59# Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Argh!
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Ooh! That sounded like Keith!
0:16:08 > 0:16:09What is it? We're busy.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- Well, the demonstration was extremely effective.- Good.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16The imaging was amazing. You won't believe the level of clarity.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Yeah. Very impressive.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21I mean, the way the image changes from 2D to 3D.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Great! Maybe we can have a tub of popcorn with every test?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Don't knock it. This'll be the best service the Mill provides.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30It's such a sexy piece of equipment. Really sexy.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33I mean, you'll love it. You won't be able to keep your hands off it.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I guarantee in six months' time, patient feedback...
0:16:35 > 0:16:40- Talking of patients.- Got to go.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43There's just no exciting some people.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45You know, I think you might've broken that.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49- Wonderful.- Well! You know, it could've been worse.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52What on earth possessed you?
0:16:52 > 0:16:56What would you have done in my place? Tell me that.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00Well, I wouldn't have gone climbing up ladders to try and...
0:17:00 > 0:17:03You don't get it, do you? I have tried everything.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Now, where is that lunatic, anyway?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Phoning you an ambulance.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- Refreshments, anyone?- What?
0:17:10 > 0:17:14Now, I've got some nice home-made Battenberg.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Ooh! Scones and jam and walnut cake. Watch those walnuts, Keith.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Get stuck in your teeth. Nice cup of tea?
0:17:19 > 0:17:24You are unbelievable. Why don't you just drop dead?
0:17:24 > 0:17:27- Oh, I say!- Oi! That's enough.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Yeah, you're right. It is enough.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34There's no rationalizing with you.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37- You've won. You satisfied? - What are you talking about?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39I've had an offer on the house.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41It's rubbish but I'm going to take it.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44And then I'll never have to see you again.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45No.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49You can't go.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51You can't go.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Please!
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I never really had the opportunity to make friends.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Never acquired the knack.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I wonder why.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14All the previous neighbours treated me like I wasn't there.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I was too shy to do anything about it.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19You - shy? Hah!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Ah, yeah, but that's when you came in,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23and everything improved for the better.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Oh, this is ridiculous. I'm going.
0:18:25 > 0:18:30Oh, no, hang on, hang on... Let him speak. How?
0:18:30 > 0:18:35He was the first person to really notice I was there, Keith.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37All his whinging and moaning and complaints.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Like music to my ears!
0:18:39 > 0:18:43So you deliberately provoked him?
0:18:43 > 0:18:47It was my way of getting him out of his shell.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49I think you're a bit lonely too.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53- That's crap!- Yeah, well why did you come and visit me last Christmas Eve?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Well, I had a burst pipe and needed to borrow a spanner.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59You stayed for hours. We talked.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00You gave me that.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03As a thank-you present.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I mean, it certainly wasn't meant...
0:19:05 > 0:19:08It was meant as friendship.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10That's when I started putting up the decorations.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12It was my way of responding, you know.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Usually people take the tinsel down after Christmas.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17I meant to. I really did.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20But then Keith put his house on the market.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24You deliberately created this eyesore
0:19:24 > 0:19:28to sabotage any chance of me moving!
0:19:28 > 0:19:29What else could I do?
0:19:29 > 0:19:35Mr Chaterton, your decorations have put Mr Rooney under a lot of stress.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38That was never my intention, believe me.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40If there's anything I can do to make amends...
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Yeah, take all this Christmas stuff down.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Yeah. But then you'll move away.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49There must be a way we can sort this out.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50Mr Rooney?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Oh, Keith.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Keith. Well.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56You don't really want to sell your house at a reduced price, do you?
0:19:56 > 0:19:57No!
0:19:57 > 0:20:02But then I don't want to live next door to Santa Claus, either.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06OK. Derek, you want Keith as your neighbour, so,
0:20:06 > 0:20:08so you're going to have to change your behaviour.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Keep the Christmas stuff for Christmas.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Do you think you can do that?
0:20:13 > 0:20:15When Hell freezes over.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm...I'm not sure.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22And if he does that, then you are going to have to help him.
0:20:22 > 0:20:27- How?- Well, by being a good neighbour.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Friend, even.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29I don't know about that!
0:20:29 > 0:20:33I never said it was going to be easy.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34We could give it a try.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39- Oh!- Oh!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Where did that ambulance get to?
0:20:41 > 0:20:45Oh! Er...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48You see! How....how can I be friends with someone like that?
0:20:48 > 0:20:53Look, look, I CAN change and I WILL change! I promise.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54I'll prove it to you.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03I CAN change. I WILL change.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Goodbye, Christmas!
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Derek does have one good point.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14He makes a great Battenberg.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19No!
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Oh!
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Oh!
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Careful!
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Oh! Oh!
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Derek?! Don't move. Do not move!
0:21:33 > 0:21:34We need to get you to a hospital.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36No. I'm not going anywhere.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Don't be so stubborn.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Come with me? Please!
0:21:45 > 0:21:48TV CHANNELS CHANGE
0:21:54 > 0:21:56'Females tend to breed about once...'
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- Anything interesting on?- No.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00'They are receptive for between three to six days...'
0:22:00 > 0:22:03What about a DVD?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05We've watched them all. Twice.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- 'They prefer to mate with the big bulls...'- Great.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29So - what are we going to do?
0:22:40 > 0:22:41What's everybody looking at?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43I really can't imagine.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Derek?
0:22:48 > 0:22:53I'm not sure I can face this. Going outside. Outdoors.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57Me and the outside world never did see eye to eye.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Well, you got here OK.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02That's because I was diverted here by pain.
0:23:02 > 0:23:07I'll slap you across the face if it helps. Joke!
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Look.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14Don't worry, I'll take care of you.
0:23:14 > 0:23:19From tomorrow Christmas Land will be no more. I promise it.
0:23:21 > 0:23:22Well. As soon as I'm able.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27In that case I will take the house off the market.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- Oh!- For now!
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- D'you want to sign my leg?- No.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- Can I sign your arm?- No.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Aw, go on.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40You, you're being annoying.
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Just a quick doodle.
0:23:41 > 0:23:42Still annoying.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52I'm about to have you.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Really?
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Your queen is exposed.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02We'll see.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Now who's on top?
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Mm. I wouldn't be so certain.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22There's still lots of possibilities left.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26So...
0:24:26 > 0:24:28that's the way it's going to be?
0:24:31 > 0:24:33No holds barred?
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Did you think I was just going to... roll over for you?
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Check.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Mmm.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Predictable.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05If you're not careful...
0:25:07 > 0:25:09..you're very soon going to be mated.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14Check.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17Mmm...
0:25:21 > 0:25:23It is ridiculous!
0:25:27 > 0:25:29I really like what you've done with the place, yeah?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31The decor and everything.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33If you like bachelor pads.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35How come I haven't seen you round here before?
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Maybe you just haven't been looking hard enough.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Or maybe he's just hard of hearing.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47Here's hoping that this isn't the last time we see one another.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50I think there's no danger of that, yeah?
0:25:50 > 0:25:55So? How long have you been working at St Phil's?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58You feel that?
0:25:58 > 0:26:02I think I might need a second examination before the night's over.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Well, it's a bit of luck I'm on hand then, isn't it?
0:26:06 > 0:26:10Well, if you don't mind, I think I'll call it an early night.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14- You've got a very professional touch.- I try to do my best.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Goodnight, then.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19Going now.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23This is me...leaving the room!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25What? Oh...night.
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Oh...night.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Night.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32I'm not being funny but I thought she'd never shut up.
0:26:44 > 0:26:49CHATTER
0:26:49 > 0:26:50LAUGHTER
0:26:55 > 0:26:57< ..find out how much you can take.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Stop!
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Just tell them to shut up.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Well, it's Kevin's flat.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08You could always move out.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10How are you feeling?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12I'm ill.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- She's dying.- You're too soft hearted, that's your problem.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17You do not speak about Sarah like that.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21This is a new and sensible direction for us and it's perfect for Kevin.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd