Antenatal

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0:00:34 > 0:00:36CAR LOCK CLICKS

0:00:39 > 0:00:40Morning.

0:00:44 > 0:00:45You look fit to pop.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Packed your bags?

0:00:49 > 0:00:51- Hmm?- For the birth?

0:00:51 > 0:00:54- We're staying at home. - Is that wise?

0:00:54 > 0:00:58What if there are complications? Not unlikely. Especially given your age.

0:00:58 > 0:01:03Morning! Hi! You're all here for the antenatal class?

0:01:03 > 0:01:05Right. You are?

0:01:05 > 0:01:08I'm Mandy. I'm shadowing Belinda today.

0:01:08 > 0:01:09HANDLE RATTLES

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Is she not in yet?

0:01:12 > 0:01:13SHE GROANS

0:01:15 > 0:01:17No, no. I can't possibly.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19I've already re-arranged Mrs Docherty's appointment twice.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22A few months ago you'd have moved mountains to spend time with Joe.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Now, why can't you move Mrs Docherty?

0:01:24 > 0:01:25Because she's private.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Ironing out her wrinkles will keep Joe in Baby Ralph for a while.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31I told you about this days ago. "I've got it covered," you said.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34- Yeah, well, I don't remember that. - Selective amnesia. How convenient.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Your afternoon's not that heavy. Why don't you reschedule?

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Three house calls and drop-in cover. I don't think so.

0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Why not flip a coin for it? - ZARA SIGHS

0:01:41 > 0:01:44OK, er, well, your nanny must know other child-minders.

0:01:44 > 0:01:45Maybe she could suggest someone.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47- If she could have, she would've done.- Why would she?

0:01:47 > 0:01:50You speak to her as if she hasn't got two brain cells to rub together.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52- She hasn't. - If you were nicer to people,

0:01:52 > 0:01:54they might go out of their way to help you.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56A little bit of charm goes a long way.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59People can see through charm, Daniel, even yours.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Don't knock it, sweetheart. It's what got you in the sack.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Action speaks louder than charm.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06You're still all mouth and no trousers.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Zara, you know how you're always complaining at home,

0:02:08 > 0:02:10that no-one likes you at work.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Why don't you make more a bit more effort?

0:02:12 > 0:02:13ZARA SCOFFS

0:02:15 > 0:02:17How's your afternoon looking?

0:02:17 > 0:02:20But I'm not qualified to teach an antenatal class.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Well, yeah, that's here.

0:02:29 > 0:02:34Yeah, right. I'll have a go. But I might need to phone a friend.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Right, get well soon.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Hiya, everyone!

0:02:45 > 0:02:48I'll start with the bad news - Belinda's feeling a bit under

0:02:48 > 0:02:51the weather so she's not going to be here today.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54But she did ask me to tell you that there'll be an additional

0:02:54 > 0:02:58class at the end of the course, free-of-charge!

0:02:58 > 0:03:00Was that the good news?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Well, partly. The other bit of good news is

0:03:03 > 0:03:06I'm going to have a bash at being Belinda,

0:03:06 > 0:03:08seeing as you're all here.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11I'm Mandy. Mandy Marquez.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13I'm a practice nurse from The Mill Health Centre...

0:03:13 > 0:03:16A nurse, not a midwife?

0:03:16 > 0:03:18No, I was supposed to be shadowing Belinda today.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21So you're not remotely qualified to teach this class?

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Well, I've got several years of nursing experience

0:03:24 > 0:03:27so I know one end of a baby from another.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30And we deal with a lot of post-natal issues at The Mill.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34Sleeping patterns, feeding concerns, skin complaints.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Right...so you're all in the third trimester?

0:03:39 > 0:03:43Apart from the guys, of course!

0:03:43 > 0:03:45It would be good to put some names to faces.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47If you could introduce yourselves

0:03:47 > 0:03:53and maybe say a few words about your experience of the pregnancy so far?

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Let's start with you.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58Philip. Philip Mallard.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00All right. Nice to meet you, Phil.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Philip.- Philip.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06And I assume that this lovely lady is your partner?

0:04:06 > 0:04:09No, no. Crikey, no. No, my wife's a good deal younger.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12She couldn't make it.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Philip's wife has yet to grace us with her presence.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Oh, OK. Is she still at work?

0:04:17 > 0:04:20No. She's just at home, resting.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24We're beginning to wonder if she actually exists.

0:04:24 > 0:04:25It won't work.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27The cost-effectiveness of the machine

0:04:27 > 0:04:29relies on the number of referrals.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32I refuse to snog Prince Edward. Avoid, avoid!

0:04:32 > 0:04:35That just leaves you with Marilyn Manson. You make a great couple.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37- SHE SWOONS - He completes me.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Actually, Wayne Rooney seems strangely attractive now.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42After the initial enthusiasm, it'll soon wear off.

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Now your three. Katie Price...

0:04:43 > 0:04:45We're talking about a huge sum of money, and for what?

0:04:45 > 0:04:48- ..Lady Gaga and Ann Widdecombe. - A machine that goes ping!

0:04:48 > 0:04:50We have a perfectly good one at St Phil's.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Go on, then!

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Oh right, um... Say them again.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56If you have an epidural then you'll need a drip

0:04:56 > 0:04:58and more heart monitoring of the baby.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02What's the optimum time for the epidural to be administered?

0:05:02 > 0:05:03How far into labour?

0:05:03 > 0:05:06It depends. Sometimes the pushing stage arrives

0:05:06 > 0:05:09before the epidural's had a chance to work.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Other times, it runs out and can slow the birth down.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14You shouldn't expect an epidural at the drop of a hat.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17You need to wait until the anaesthetist is available.

0:05:17 > 0:05:18So the whole thing's a crap-shoot?

0:05:18 > 0:05:22And the unborn child is at the mercy of the woefully under-funded NHS?

0:05:22 > 0:05:24You're assuming that an epidural is necessary.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Many women prefer not to use pain killers.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28Yeah, that's right.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31And if the pain does get too much, gas and air can be really useful.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Even so, you're painting a very worrying picture.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36Absent anaesthetists, over-stretched midwives,

0:05:36 > 0:05:38pain killers administered too early or too late.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41- And that's before you've even touched upon the bigger issues. - Bigger issues?

0:05:41 > 0:05:47Yes, like emergency caesareans, episiotomy, meconium complications,

0:05:47 > 0:05:51cord around the baby's neck, forceps birth, premature birth...

0:05:51 > 0:05:52Stillbirth.

0:05:52 > 0:05:56Things can go wrong, but usually they don't.

0:05:56 > 0:05:57Not with the right help.

0:05:57 > 0:06:01Every complication is serious because it leads you one step closer

0:06:01 > 0:06:04to an even bigger complication, one that could easily be fatal.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06And sugar-coating the facts won't help.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09If people aren't aware of the risks involved,

0:06:09 > 0:06:12then there's an even greater chance they'll end up with a dead baby.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15SHE SIGHS

0:06:15 > 0:06:16KNOCK ON DOOR

0:06:16 > 0:06:17Come in!

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Morning. Quick word?

0:06:21 > 0:06:24All the doctors have referred some patients to me.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Excellent. - With one exception - Dr Carter.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Well, no surprise there then.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30He's always been opposed to this investment.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32And now he's trying to prove it was a mistake.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Maybe he's forgotten to refer his suitable patients.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38No, he hasn't forgotten. I've just heard him bending Daniel's ear,

0:06:38 > 0:06:40moaning about the eye-watering expense.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42Well, he's always been a bit of a stick-in-the-mud.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Right. And he needs to get with the programme.- Agreed.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48- Good. So you'll have a word? - No. The echo machine's your baby.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Why don't you give Heston an induction? De-mystify the hardware.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53No, no. This needs your authority.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Oh, so you haven't got any authority?

0:06:55 > 0:06:56Not much. Not with Heston.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59This is exactly what you need, a chance to hone your people skills.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01He won't listen.

0:07:01 > 0:07:06The gentle art of persuasion. Nothing you can't handle.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09It might be comfy, but where's the support?

0:07:09 > 0:07:11You're not supporting its neck!

0:07:11 > 0:07:14Nurse Marquez? Might I have a quiet word?

0:07:14 > 0:07:15Yeah, of course.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice, but Philip is making

0:07:22 > 0:07:25everyone feel very uncomfortable, even the guys.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Yeah. He is a bit...tense.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31Nerves are one thing. It's an anxious time for everyone.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34But his morbid comments and the relentless pessimism,

0:07:34 > 0:07:37it's very upsetting. We're already down three couples.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40Belinda had to take him aside a couple of weeks ago,

0:07:40 > 0:07:42- but now he's even worse.- Really?

0:07:42 > 0:07:45I'm sure the class would be a lot happier

0:07:45 > 0:07:48and much more productive, sans Philip. Don't you agree?

0:07:48 > 0:07:51I know what you mean, but Philip must've paid for the course.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54He's got as much right to be here as anyone else.

0:07:54 > 0:07:55But has he though?

0:07:55 > 0:07:58There's no evidence that he has a wife, let alone a pregnant one.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00He could've walked in off the street -

0:08:00 > 0:08:02some random, child-abducting lunatic.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04How do you abduct a baby that hasn't been born yet?

0:08:04 > 0:08:08Let's not split hairs. Philip is very strange.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10Who knows what he's capable of?

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Isn't it your responsibility to get rid of him?

0:08:13 > 0:08:16You can't give a new-born a Heimlich manoeuvre!

0:08:16 > 0:08:19You're going to kill it! Come on, please!

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Goodness sake!

0:08:21 > 0:08:24Mind how you go, Mr Bracken, and we'll re-assess you in a few weeks.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26If you have any other problems, do not hesitate...

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Oh, Heston? I was thinking... - Oh, dear.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Now that we've been lumbered with all this

0:08:30 > 0:08:32new-fangled technology...

0:08:32 > 0:08:35Oh, you're becoming a real technology bore, do you know that?

0:08:35 > 0:08:37How would you feel if I kept harping on about opera all the time?

0:08:37 > 0:08:41- You do harp on about opera all the time!- Exactly.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44You'd still be scared of your smartphone if it wasn't for me!

0:08:45 > 0:08:47PHONE BEEPS

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Fig roll?

0:08:55 > 0:08:56No. Thanks.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01A friend of mine at St Phil's was telling me

0:09:01 > 0:09:05they've set up an antenatal course especially for expectant dads.

0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Really?- And it's free.- Hm.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Seeing as your wife can't come to this one,

0:09:11 > 0:09:14I was thinking maybe you could switch to that one.

0:09:14 > 0:09:19I could speak to Belinda and get you a refund...if...if you like?

0:09:30 > 0:09:34What's that? Squeezy Sid's Car Valet?

0:09:34 > 0:09:36It's not a flyer. A poem.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39Really? Is it National Poetry Day or something?

0:09:39 > 0:09:41No. I think it's just meant for me.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43- A love-struck patient?- Maybe.

0:09:43 > 0:09:47I didn't notice it when I went into town but I was in a mad rush.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Well, don't go thinking you're so special.- What?

0:09:50 > 0:09:52We've all got our silver-haired fans.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55Alas, mine are more Bruce Forsyth than George Clooney.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Got a rose the other day. Now this.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Well, at least it's not made out of little newspaper letters.

0:10:00 > 0:10:01That would be disturbing.

0:10:05 > 0:10:06SHE GROANS

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Are you OK?

0:10:11 > 0:10:16Braxton Hicks. Exactly the same thing happened with my son.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20- False alarms for days on end. - Ah, so it's not your first then.

0:10:20 > 0:10:21I had Felix 13 years ago

0:10:21 > 0:10:24so I thought I could use a refresher course.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27- Maternity leave is such a bore. - When's your due date?

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Monday, but I don't want to wait until then

0:10:30 > 0:10:32so my husband's going to get a takeaway. Vindaloo!

0:10:32 > 0:10:35The old wives' tale?

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Not that you're an old wife...

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Forget it.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Philip's crass remarks has made me feel a bit paranoid.

0:10:43 > 0:10:47He told me that I'm too old to have a baby, quite literally.

0:10:47 > 0:10:52I don't know if he's malicious or just tactless.

0:10:52 > 0:10:53Well, can't he be both?

0:10:53 > 0:10:57I see he's still hanging around, like a bad smell.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00I can't very well force him to leave, can I?

0:11:01 > 0:11:02Evidently not.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Coffee break?

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Those powers of deduction!

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Have you ever played Snog, Marry, Avoid?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14- What?- Well, the thing is - I would choose three celebrities.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Then you've got to choose which one you'd snog, which you'd marry

0:11:17 > 0:11:20- and which you'd avoid. - Avoid. Are you feeling OK?

0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Just trying to have a bit of fun, you know, banter.- Banter?

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Just trying to lighten the mood a little.

0:11:25 > 0:11:29OK. You can lighten the mood by looking after Joe this afternoon.

0:11:29 > 0:11:30Daniel?

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Did you see anyone this morning fiddling around with Jas's car?

0:11:33 > 0:11:37- No. Why?- Cos somebody left a love poem under her windscreen.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39HE SCOFFS

0:11:39 > 0:11:42- So what? - So she's got a secret admirer.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Or one that's blatantly obvious.

0:11:46 > 0:11:47You're here now? Why?

0:11:47 > 0:11:49- How did you get here?- Philip!

0:11:49 > 0:11:52There's only so much I can take, Philip.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54- Eh?- I put up with the spreadsheets,

0:11:54 > 0:11:58the diet control, your constant surveillance.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00But to lock me inside the house!

0:12:00 > 0:12:03I must've double-locked the front door. It's a force of habit.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05And you confiscated my keys.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07I was just trying to keep you safe.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10By putting me under house arrest?!

0:12:10 > 0:12:12I feel more like your prisoner than your wife.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14How did you get out?

0:12:14 > 0:12:16I found the carefully concealed window keys.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18You jumped out of the window?

0:12:18 > 0:12:21I'm getting you to St Phil's, we better get the baby checked out.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23It's a two foot drop.

0:12:25 > 0:12:29OK, now that you're here, you might as well stay for the class.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31No. I'm not staying. I just...

0:12:32 > 0:12:36Hi! You must be Philip's better half.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Right, the ball and chain.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Or is it the other way around?

0:12:40 > 0:12:41I'm Fenella.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Kirsty.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45You're absolutely tiny!

0:12:45 > 0:12:46Excuse me?

0:12:46 > 0:12:49I can't believe she's in her third trimester.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Are you sure that the baby's OK?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Kirsty!

0:12:55 > 0:12:57Was it something I said?

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Kevin! No. No way. He's not the hearts and flowers type.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Well, not normally, but when it's the real thing...

0:13:05 > 0:13:07You think he's been harbouring a desperate crush?

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- I think he's had an epiphany.- What? - He's woken up to his true feelings.

0:13:11 > 0:13:12I know what an epiphany is

0:13:12 > 0:13:14but unrequited love is not Kevin's style.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16He'd be much more...direct.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19Not when he's worried about ruining the friendship.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22You see, since Jas moved out, he's realised how much she means to him.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25Fine, he's had dozens of casual relationships,

0:13:25 > 0:13:28one-night-stands, but she gives him something that the others can't.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Such as?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Companionship, rapport, a shared sense of humour.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35You see, since their uni days,

0:13:35 > 0:13:37she's been one of the few constants in his life.

0:13:37 > 0:13:41They'd make a fantastic couple. It's written all over them..

0:13:45 > 0:13:47RETCHING

0:13:47 > 0:13:49TOILET FLUSHES

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Morning sickness?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58What's going on?

0:13:58 > 0:13:59Ladies', Philip. Clear off!

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Right. Sorry.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06So you're...Philip's...?

0:14:06 > 0:14:10Yeah. I'm not normally allowed to throw-up unsupervised.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12How many weeks are you?

0:14:12 > 0:14:1416.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Oh. OK.

0:14:17 > 0:14:22I know. Philip's jumping the gun with an antenatal class.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24He insists on being ahead of the game.

0:14:24 > 0:14:29Well, he does seems a bit...hands-on.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31You have no idea.

0:14:31 > 0:14:35Ever since we found out I was pregnant, he's gone into overdrive.

0:14:35 > 0:14:40Every time I eat, sleep, go to the loo, a box has to be ticked.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Nothing's left to chance.

0:14:44 > 0:14:48He's got his reasons but...it's insufferable.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50I can imagine.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54Have you been sick?

0:14:54 > 0:14:58Yes. It's normal. You can get back to your class.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03I'm going to stay with my mother. Indefinitely.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04What?

0:15:04 > 0:15:07I know this can't be easy for you.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10And I've tried to put up with your...paranoia.

0:15:10 > 0:15:15But for my own sanity, I need some space.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17I-I don't understand.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19I don't want to see you for a while.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22And I certainly don't want to live with you.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26- Not until after the baby is born. - You're not serious?

0:15:26 > 0:15:27I'm sorry.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34You! What did you say to her?

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Nothing.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Kevin. A word of advice, mano a mano.

0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Sounds ominous. - Stop skirting around the issue.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53- What issue? - I think you know what I mean.

0:15:53 > 0:15:57- Do I?- Your situation with a certain colleague.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59Ah, right.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02Don't beat around the bush, OK? Just take the bull by the horns.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Any other cliches while we're at it?

0:16:04 > 0:16:07No, that's your lot.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Mr Shadrack, if you'd like to come through.

0:16:09 > 0:16:14- Bye.- Bye!- Thanks a lot. Bye. - Take care. Bye!

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Are you OK?

0:16:37 > 0:16:39What do you want?

0:16:41 > 0:16:43The class has finished.

0:16:43 > 0:16:47I know. I'll leave in a minute.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56You're a natural.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01What did Kirsty say?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04Nothing.

0:17:08 > 0:17:16The midwife let me hold...her for a minute,

0:17:16 > 0:17:18before she took her away.

0:17:21 > 0:17:27My wife, my...my first wife, she didn't want to talk about it.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30So, so we didn't.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34Philip. I'm so sorry.

0:17:34 > 0:17:42You see, I've already failed once, as a father, and as a husband.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Now it's happening again.

0:17:51 > 0:17:52Kirsty...

0:17:52 > 0:17:57She didn't say much but she gave me the impression

0:17:57 > 0:18:02that you might've been a bit too...protective.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Isn't that a husband's role?

0:18:06 > 0:18:10Well, yeah, but in the extremes,

0:18:10 > 0:18:13I guess it can be a bit...a bit suffocating.

0:18:17 > 0:18:23The world is full of uncommitted and absent fathers,

0:18:23 > 0:18:26men who don't even know their children.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28And yet I'm being punished for being too involved.

0:18:30 > 0:18:34Too involved? Or too controlling?

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Too scared?

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Do you have children?

0:18:42 > 0:18:43No.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45And have you ever lost a child?

0:18:46 > 0:18:48No.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Then what would you know about it?

0:18:53 > 0:18:55I was just trying to help.

0:18:57 > 0:18:58Sorry.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06HE SOBS

0:19:06 > 0:19:08KNOCK ON DOOR

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Enter.

0:19:10 > 0:19:14All sorted. Just spoke to one of Izzie's old child-minders.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16She's agreed to have Joe for the rest of the day.

0:19:16 > 0:19:17Oh. Really?

0:19:17 > 0:19:21Mm-hmm. When have I ever let you down?

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Let's not go there.

0:19:24 > 0:19:29OK, Lohan, Lopez, Johansson?

0:19:29 > 0:19:32Oh-oh-oh. Good one.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Well, that's tough, you see, because I only have eyes for you.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Yeah, right.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50SHE MOANS IN PAIN

0:19:58 > 0:19:59PHONE BEEPS

0:19:59 > 0:20:01SHE GASPS

0:20:03 > 0:20:05SHE PANTS

0:20:07 > 0:20:11Hello? Is anyone there?

0:20:11 > 0:20:14HE HUMS

0:20:14 > 0:20:17Sorry, Kevin, you didn't knock.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20OK, Dr Carter. Meet the paranoid android!

0:20:20 > 0:20:23Now, these things have come on considerably

0:20:23 > 0:20:25- since your theatre days. - I am not interested.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27Come on, take your shirt off.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29- I'll show you what this bad boy can do.- I haven't got the time.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Think of all the people you'll be helping.

0:20:31 > 0:20:35A speedy check-up here versus a long wait for a hospital referral,

0:20:35 > 0:20:39it'll make a big difference to some poor sod.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41I'm going to keep on annoying you until you agree, so...

0:20:41 > 0:20:44KEVIN HUMS AGAIN Oh!

0:20:44 > 0:20:45SHE SCREAMS

0:20:51 > 0:20:53Don't just...

0:20:53 > 0:20:56- Call an... - SHE SCREAMS

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Right! An ambulance.

0:21:00 > 0:21:08Ambulance. It's a baby. She's having a baby. Very soon, I think.

0:21:08 > 0:21:13Um, it's the community centre on um...my mind's gone blank.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15Where are we?

0:21:15 > 0:21:19Is it Arnold Road? Arbour Road?

0:21:19 > 0:21:21SHE MOANS

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Sorry...

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Ar...Argh...Arbury!

0:21:25 > 0:21:30- Yeah, it's Arbury Road, Leth... - No! Not road. Av...Av...

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Arbury Avenue, Letherbridge.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35I can't remember. What's your name again?

0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Pre... - SHE PANTS

0:21:38 > 0:21:41Fenella Prendergast!

0:21:41 > 0:21:45Fenella Prendergast. Please hurry.

0:21:45 > 0:21:49OK. The ambulance is on its way.

0:21:51 > 0:21:55- Get someone else. Anybody else!- OK.

0:21:57 > 0:21:59Hello?

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Hello.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04Anyone?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12PHONE RINGS

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Hello?

0:22:15 > 0:22:17What? 20 minutes?

0:22:19 > 0:22:22No, no, she's not my wife. I don't really know her, really.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Yeah, she'll probably be fine.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30I think.

0:22:32 > 0:22:37Yeah, yeah, you know, one or two tricky customers.

0:22:37 > 0:22:42That Philip's a bit of an odd one, isn't he?

0:22:42 > 0:22:45What is he doing now?!

0:22:46 > 0:22:48SHE PANTS

0:22:48 > 0:22:51Where are they?

0:22:51 > 0:22:55The ambulance has been a bit waylaid. Another 15 minutes.

0:22:55 > 0:23:0015 minutes?! I haven't got two minutes.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02All the essentials are in this bag.

0:23:02 > 0:23:06Towels, surgical scissors, a first-aid kit.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08How about a midwife?

0:23:10 > 0:23:13- It's coming! The baby's coming!- OK.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14SHE SCREAMS

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Couldn't you find another guinea pig?

0:23:17 > 0:23:19There we go, let me just capture that.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23One fully-functioning human heart. Feast your eyes.

0:23:23 > 0:23:24Must I? Hm?

0:23:27 > 0:23:29How does that look to you?

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Yeah. It's doing its job.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Well, I think I'd know if it wasn't.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37The valves look OK. There are no obvious complications.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Are you sure?

0:23:39 > 0:23:40At first glance, yeah.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Well, have a second glance.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46- I think you're OK. - Why am I not reassured?

0:23:46 > 0:23:48Is this how you talk to your patients?

0:23:48 > 0:23:50Only the hypochondriacs.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53- Well, I'm hardly... What's that? - What's what?- Bring it closer.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57Philip? You still here?

0:23:57 > 0:23:59It's a boy!

0:23:59 > 0:24:01You could name him after the midwife!

0:24:05 > 0:24:07What happened?

0:24:07 > 0:24:09Take a guess.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11BABY CRIES

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Are you OK? Is the baby OK?

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Yes. He's gorgeous.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24I think I've solved your little mystery.

0:24:24 > 0:24:25Excuse me?

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Your secret admirer. It's Kevin.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34I...I don't think so.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36I know. I didn't believe it myself at first.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38Right, cos it's a ridiculous idea.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41But I have inside knowledge.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43- What?- Daniel told me.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Hi, it's me.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49I-I can understand you not picking up.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52I know I've been a complete nightmare these past three months,

0:24:52 > 0:24:54but can we just talk?

0:24:54 > 0:24:57I bet you never thought you'd be grateful to see Philip.

0:24:57 > 0:25:02Something amazing's just happened and I want to share it with you.

0:25:02 > 0:25:03Bye.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09That was probably the most terrifying moment of my life.

0:25:09 > 0:25:13But it would've been a lot worse without you. Thank you.

0:25:13 > 0:25:14Any time.

0:25:26 > 0:25:27You're a dab hand now.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30You probably won't break a sweat when your baby comes.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32Perhaps I should deliver it myself.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Only I won't be able to.

0:25:34 > 0:25:36Kirsty doesn't want me around for the birth.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39Well, you never know, she might change her mind,

0:25:39 > 0:25:40now she knows you're a pro and all.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42PHONE BEEPS

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Kirsty's still at the station.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48Her train doesn't leave for another 40 minutes.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Well, go! Go and talk to her.

0:25:50 > 0:25:52Yeah, yeah, I will.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54Oh, Philip?

0:25:54 > 0:25:57You might want to change that shirt.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00Oh, it's OK. I always carry a spare in the car.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Of course you do.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06So he's the one?

0:26:07 > 0:26:13That's just...really weird. It changes everything.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15Well, but maybe in a good way.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Kevin's got a lot of growing up to do,

0:26:17 > 0:26:19but with the right woman by his side...

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Me and him?! You've got to be kidding.

0:26:21 > 0:26:26That would feel almost incestuous. This is a complete disaster.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28Now, wait.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31A smart, relatively good-looking doctor has got the hots for you!

0:26:31 > 0:26:33That wouldn't rate high on my list of personal catastrophes.

0:26:33 > 0:26:37Now it's going to feel really weird between us.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39SHE SIGHS UNHAPPILY

0:26:39 > 0:26:40It's such a waste.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42A waste?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Of a really good friendship.

0:26:45 > 0:26:49Oh, well, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Hello!? Mrs Anstee?

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Oh. Good morning.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06It'd be like kicking a puppy.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08The trouble with puppies is that they grow up into

0:27:08 > 0:27:09great big slobbering dogs

0:27:09 > 0:27:13You make it in dollars, and we might have ourselves a deal.

0:27:14 > 0:27:15Uh-huh.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Della Notte.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20Grazie mille, signore!

0:27:20 > 0:27:21You what?

0:27:33 > 0:27:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd