0:00:30 > 0:00:31Thank you.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36RINGING TONE
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Who would pay £75 to be covered in mud?
0:00:44 > 0:00:47I...I could do that for you in my back garden for nothing.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49It's not that kind of mud.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Are you sure Dr Carmichael will like this?
0:00:52 > 0:00:57"A full body massage with erotic oils."
0:00:57 > 0:01:01What? "EXOTIC oils."
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Well, I am not sure you should be sending your wife to
0:01:04 > 0:01:05a place like this.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07No-one there. We're not married.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11I am painfully aware of that unfortunate fact but just because
0:01:11 > 0:01:14you are living in sin, it does not mean you should expose your wife...
0:01:14 > 0:01:17- Partner.- ..to this sort of thing.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19It's not a knocking shop, you know.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23I am aware what goes on in those "massage parlours".
0:01:23 > 0:01:25It's a health spa.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28And if Zara rings, not a word, OK? It's a surprise.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33£75!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Where did you go last night?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I didn't hear you come in.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05How are your bruises? Still sore?
0:02:05 > 0:02:06They're fine.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I wish you'd see someone.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Yeah, I know. You've said.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- Please?- Stop telling me what to do. - DOOR CLOSES
0:02:14 > 0:02:17It's 8.30, Gwyneth. You're supposed to be on reception.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Sorry.- You're on a final warning. Don't forget.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Any better?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Not really. Water helps.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Jas! How did it go?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45What were you thinking? Are you out of your mind?
0:02:45 > 0:02:46You and Vish didn't get on?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49He's a raving lunatic. Or hadn't you noticed?
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Oh, I thought you two would be perfect for each other.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Perfect?
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Your reviewers have seldom experienced such
0:02:57 > 0:02:59an over-the-top effrontery...
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Not sure.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02World-class cheek?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Better.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Erm...a new low in the history of Western cuisine.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Excellent.- Sounds terrible.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13It was gloriously awful. The perfect night.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16The colonically irrigated clientele
0:03:16 > 0:03:18were too gorged on their bank bonuses
0:03:18 > 0:03:21to notice that the maitre d' was a fraud.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Touche.- What does that mean?
0:03:23 > 0:03:24They were pretentious.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28Cack-handed and brazen-faced management?
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Not quite.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33I can't believe I was so wrong about him.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Is that why you never answered any of my messages?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38My phone's dead. I've lost my charger.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39What is it with you and phones?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41I didn't lose my phone. I lost my charger.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43You can use mine.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Will it work?- Give it here.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48I had no idea Vish was such a nut case.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50I haven't even told you the half of it.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59All right.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Hi there. I'm looking for some treatments for...
0:04:03 > 0:04:05You are so hot.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Sorry?
0:04:06 > 0:04:10The moment you walked through that door I thought, "I could eat him."
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Gwyneth.- Hi. Daniel.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17I know you from somewhere.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18No. I don't think so.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Like I say, I'm looking for some treatments for my partner.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Oh. Why are all the good-looking men gay?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- Er, I'm not. - But you said you had a partner.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Yeah. She's a woman.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Naughty Cherubs!- What?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Gay club on Oaklands? That's where I've seen you.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35No, it isn't.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37No. Bit seedy for you?
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Too many daddies and bears, not enough twinks and jocks.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Mind you, nothing wrong with a bit of rough, is there?
0:04:44 > 0:04:46I bet you've seen some action.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Yeah, so... Getting back to the treatments...
0:04:49 > 0:04:54Tell you what, why don't I give you the guided tour?
0:04:54 > 0:05:00I'm not really supposed to but, for a gorgeous man like you, why not?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02OK. Well, if it's not too much trouble.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06My pleasure. Hopefully yours, too.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09He actually lunged at you?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Twice. And threw himself on my car.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Why?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16So he could moan about his medication and tell me
0:05:16 > 0:05:18how perfect we could be.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20He had his fingers wrapped round the wipers.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22What did you do?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Screen wash. Right between the eyes.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- No!- You have a lot to answer for.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Sorry.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31I will forgive you, on one condition -
0:05:31 > 0:05:35you promise never, ever to set me up again.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Really?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Cos I know this guy - he's just broken up with his girl...
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Only kidding.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43SHE LAUGHS
0:05:47 > 0:05:52There's the organic seaweed massage. Bit smelly but totally relaxing.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Volcanic stone massage? That is lovely, that is.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01You know what? I was thinking about something a little less...
0:06:01 > 0:06:07Balinese cocoa butter full body massage. Your wife will love that.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12Although strictly speaking, it's more of a sensual journey than a massage.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14We're not married.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Does that mean it's not serious?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18No. It's very serious. We have a son.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Ah. So do I.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23I was married just long enough to get pregnant.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24Big mistake.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27You definitely don't want to be a single mother.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Think I'm safe on that one.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Does she like mud? Your wife?
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Partner.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I've got the perfect treat for her.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- Over-priced stab at understated tastefulness?- Very good.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46The service was so appalling and so profoundly offensive,
0:06:46 > 0:06:50it would have done justice to Vlad the Impaler.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Who?- Dracula.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Then why don't you just say Dracula?
0:06:54 > 0:06:58No-one is going to understand what you're saying. And it doesn't make any sense.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01If people don't understand my references they shouldn't read my reviews.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03We need a punchier line about the wine.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07"A sickly grapefruit-run-over-by-a-lawnmower
0:07:07 > 0:07:10"concoction masquerading as a Chateau de Baudin."
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Delicious.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Why are you wasting your time with this?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17It's just an excuse to be bitchy about people.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19People who tried to cheat us.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Oh, and that makes it all right?
0:07:20 > 0:07:24We have been given the chance to strike at the heart of pretence
0:07:24 > 0:07:25and flagrant dishonesty.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30Now, if it involves a few harsh words, so be it.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31If you say so.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Do you not think that that's a little - I don't know - pretentious?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Ignore them.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Water off a duck's back.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41A burnt duck's back!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43THEY LAUGH
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Canard brule!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Medicinal coconut husk and frangipani mud wrap.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- What does that involve? - Shh. That's him.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53My son. He's gay.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58He won't admit it, though. Very secretive.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I've tried everything to get him to open up.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Coming out can be very difficult. Especially to your mother.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05It was hard for you, was it?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07No, no. Not me.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- The thing is, no-one's bothered now. - Yeah. I'm not gay.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14You should see the men he goes with. Horrible, muscle-bound things.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Shaved heads, tattoos.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19And the things they do to him....
0:08:19 > 0:08:23But I suppose you'd know about all that.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24PHONE RINGS
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Gwyneth? What are you doing?
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Nothing. It's business. He wanted to see the spa.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Well, I hope you're getting everything you need.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Yes. She's been more than helpful. Thank you.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41Maybe he's with a patient.
0:08:41 > 0:08:46No. He's plotting something - one of his pathetic little surprises.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48How do you know?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Because he gets all smug, like a five-year-old with a secret.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Morning. Good news.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- Remember the nursing practice development officer? - She's cancelled?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59She's got a gap in her schedule. She's coming in tomorrow.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Tomorrow?!- New rota. You're on HCA.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- Why?- So she can do a proper competence assessment.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Evaluate your interactions, communication skills,
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- key strengths, weaknesses... - But I'm not ready.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Perfect. She needs to see you au naturel.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17You mean in the nude?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19I mean, not putting on a show.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Don't worry, no need to panic.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24What if she fails me?
0:09:25 > 0:09:26She can't do that.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Are you sure?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Deep down we're all bisexual.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34It's only conditioning that makes you swing one way or the other.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37So, all this is included in the signature treatment package?
0:09:37 > 0:09:42Mmm. But people do change their minds.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46- Sorry?- You know, about whether they like men or women.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48I see it all the time.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52I mean, not here, obviously, but some of the places I've worked...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Have you got something simple, relaxing...?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56It could be a phase?
0:09:56 > 0:09:57What?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Being gay. My son.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Well, people do like to experiment when they're young.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06I suppose he won't know until he's met the right man, or woman.
0:10:09 > 0:10:14I wish he'd meet someone like you. You'd be perfect for him.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15If I was gay, which I'm not.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Maybe you haven't met the right man.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Yeah, I need to get back to work so perhaps we could crack on?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- Did you want tea?- I can make it.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27I don't mind.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33Look Kevin, I'm really sorry about the mix-up.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- You know, me thinking you...? - That I fancied you? Yeah.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38It's fine.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42Well, I've thought about what you said and I do need to stop obsessing.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45I need to live in the moment, trust my instincts,
0:10:45 > 0:10:46stop tying myself up in knots.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48All I said was, "Go with the flow."
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Right, so...mates?
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Yeah, of course.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Yeah, actually, I've been meaning to talk to you.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Yeah?
0:10:57 > 0:11:01I went over the phone bill and you owe me 8.93.
0:11:01 > 0:11:038.93?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Does that include the 15p I lost down the sofa?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Oh, my God, you're serious.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Yeah.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- But we agreed to split everything 50-50.- You made more calls on the landline.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15I never used the landline. I always use my mobile.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Except when you forget to charge it, or you lose it,
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- or you drop it down the toilet. - That happened ONCE.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Look, I've highlighted the calls I made.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25The rest must be yours, so check them against your address book.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26I will.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34That's where I've seen you. You're the doctor at the campus.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Mmm...a doctor - sexy.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Sorry, but I really do need to get on.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43No, but seriously, you are a proper doctor, yes?
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- Yes. - So you could talk to Martin? My son.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48About being gay?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Yeah, that and...
0:11:51 > 0:11:53He's into auto-asphyxiation.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Sorry?
0:11:54 > 0:11:58You know, sexual strangling? Did you see his bruises?
0:11:59 > 0:12:02A lot of things can cause bruises.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05But not like that. Trust me, I know.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Besides, I found this in his locker.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I don't mind the bondage.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I mean, we've all been tied up one time or another...
0:12:21 > 0:12:25But this is dangerous. He could die.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Someone has to warn him.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- I don't think I'm the right person. - He'd listen to you.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I don't think he would.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34You don't have to meet officially.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38You could just meet accidentally, in the sauna, maybe?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Right, that's it.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44I came in to buy a simple gift and all you have done is talk about sex and sex toys...
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- Have I?- Yes, I'm going somewhere else. Bye-bye.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Why is Howard doing this?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55To justify his grossly inflated salary.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57He said not to panic. What do you think he's trying to say?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Not to panic.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01I've seen what stress can do to people.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03There was this bloke where I worked last and it got
0:13:03 > 0:13:05- so bad he had to resign. - You'll be fine.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Yeah, but they said he'd be lucky if he ever worked again.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Karen, You've given me the wrong notes. I need Jane Robertson, not James.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13I'm all over the place today.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Better not slip up tomorrow.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- It's the stress.- Stop worrying.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Well, that's easy for you to say.
0:13:23 > 0:13:28Workplace stress can be very serious, Chris. Fatal even...
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Fatal?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Well, hypertension, heart disease, cancer -
0:13:32 > 0:13:33all sorts of other diseases.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Yeah, that's rare.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Usually it's just psoriasis, irritable bowel syndrome,
0:13:38 > 0:13:40immune suppression, that sort of thing.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Thanks.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50I thought it would have eased up by now, but it's still stiff.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52OK. How did you get the bruises?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Messing about with a mate.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56They look nasty. What happened?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58He gets carried away sometimes.
0:13:58 > 0:13:59He's done it before?
0:14:00 > 0:14:03It's how he likes to get his kicks, so to speak.
0:14:03 > 0:14:08Well, it doesn't feel like there's anything wrong with your neck. Put your shirt back on.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Yeah. I'm sure it'll be fine in a few days.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I'm really only here cos of my mum.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Your mum?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Yeah. She's been going on at me for days.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19After you came to the spa she wouldn't let it go.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21She said she was worried.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Did she say anything else?
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Oh, yes.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27That's my mum. Why use one word when 85 will do?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- Did she tell you I was gay?- Yeah.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32I hate it when she does that.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- I mean, she's obsessed with other people's sex lives.- I noticed.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Yeah, you want to try living with it.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Endless gruesome details about her private life. And everyone else's.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Getting back to the neck, what exactly did happen?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- You don't want to know.- Try me.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I mean, it was so stupid,
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I mean, no-one else about, wrong place, wrong time.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57Completely unsafe. I don't even want to talk about it.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59It might help.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01What?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03If you don't want to talk to me, there are other people -
0:15:03 > 0:15:06helplines, that sort of thing...
0:15:06 > 0:15:08I have no idea what you're on about.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10You need to be aware of the risks.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15You never stop worrying about them, do you?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I do not have any children, myself but...
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- What are you doing here? - Martin! I just...
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- There's a surprise. You followed me. - No, I...- Did you know she was here?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- No.- You did, didn't you?
0:15:24 > 0:15:26That's why you were trying to get me to talk about this.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Unbelievable.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Martin.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- What did he say?- I can't tell you.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Yes, yes, patient confidentiality, I know that.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- But you can give me a hint. - You're going to have to speak to him yourself.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38It's that bad?
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Poor woman.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46Poor woman? What about him, having her for a mother?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Well, perhaps that is why he is...well, you know...
0:15:49 > 0:15:50She told you he was gay?
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Well, there is nothing wrong with it, but it can sometimes cause
0:15:54 > 0:15:55problems in families.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57That's the least of his worries.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Sorry, mate, Karen gave me your notes for some reason.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09What are you doing? Why are you looking through Jas's pictures?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Oh. Something she mentioned earlier.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- What?- Oh, nothing.- No. Come on.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19She recommended a restaurant.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21I wanted to see if she had any photographs.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22On her profile page?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Yeah. Is there a problem?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Well, it's just a bit odd, that's all.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30No, it's not.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35- Why are you being all paranoid, Kevin?- I'm not.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Well, it's not like I've hacked into her page.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41We are friends. It's what social networking is all about.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Chill out, Kevin.
0:16:47 > 0:16:52Dr Granger? This is Inez de la Candia from the spa.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55We found your credit card if you'd like to collect it.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57I do apologise for the inconvenience.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Yeah, don't worry. It's probably me.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I was a bit distracted.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03'I'm afraid my receptionist can have that effect on people.'
0:17:03 > 0:17:06I hope she wasn't being inappropriate.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Well, a little.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10I am so sorry. She has been warned.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12If you ring when you're on your way,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I'll make sure she's not on the desk.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16OK, that's kind. Thank you.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Thank you. Bye-bye.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20How's your lunch?
0:17:20 > 0:17:24Well, when I placed my order, I anticipated a palate-tickling treat,
0:17:24 > 0:17:27a balm to the taste buds, as it were...
0:17:27 > 0:17:30But what I got was an affront to the very notion of a cheese
0:17:30 > 0:17:35and tomato sandwich - a culinary nightmare, an unpalatable debacle.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Philistines.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41The Himalayan salt and Patagonian vinegar crisps, au fromage,
0:17:41 > 0:17:45on the other hand, are a gastronomic triumph.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Stop being so mean.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49I think it's amazing what Emma and Heston are doing.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- Thank you, Karen.- Amazing?
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- It's a public scandal. - It's not exactly Watergate.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58And they're exposing it, standing up for the little guy. What if me and Rob were to go to there?
0:17:58 > 0:18:02- We wouldn't know one wine from another.- That's why Rob and you don't go to places like that.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04People have to be held to account, Zara.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Honesty and integrity are the foundations of a civilised society.
0:18:08 > 0:18:14How very reassuring Heston "the sword of truth" Carter holds back the barbarian hordes.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- Ha-ha.- What's all this about?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Oh, Emma and I are doing a restaurant column. This is our first stab.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Stab? It's more like a lynching.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23I'll print you a copy. You should read it.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27- Yeah, I'd love to.- Now, I should explain one or two things first...
0:18:30 > 0:18:34You're not still worrying about this assessment, are you?
0:18:34 > 0:18:35I can't stop worrying about it.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37And then I worry about worrying.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39You don't want to make yourself sick.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40That's what I'm worried about.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43It's my heart - it's been feeling funny all morning.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46- Really?- I think it's the stress. I'm sure it is.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Probably. Have you put on weight?
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Have I?
0:18:49 > 0:18:53Any nausea, muscle pain, loss of libido...?
0:18:53 > 0:18:54My sex drive? No.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Maybe...I dunno.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00You're probably going to be fine.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02What?
0:19:05 > 0:19:08What's up with Kevin? He's really stressed out.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09What about?
0:19:09 > 0:19:12I don't know. You, I think.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- Me?- Yeah. He really had a go at me.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17He hasn't said anything?
0:19:17 > 0:19:20It's probably this stupid phone bill. He says I owe him money.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22£8.93, exactly.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Right, well, you want to sort that out,
0:19:25 > 0:19:27before he makes everyone's life a misery.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Thank you so much for coming by.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38I'm sure she'll be here in a moment with your card. Ah, Gwyneth, give him the card.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Not until he tells me what Martin said.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41I'm sorry, I can't.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45My son is having potentially lethal sex with abusive men!
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Gwyneth!
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Those bruises on his neck? I know what they are.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Tell me what Martin said.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I didn't say anything.
0:19:54 > 0:19:55Martin!
0:19:55 > 0:19:58When are you going to learn that I do with my friends is
0:19:58 > 0:19:59none of your business?
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Friends!? They look more like extras from a bondage video.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Stop trying to run my life for me.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08- You're my son!- That doesn't give you the right to control me!
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- I don't want to lose you!- What?
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Auto-erotic asphyxiation is very dangerous. It can kill you.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- Auto-erotic what?- Don't pretend you don't know what he's talking about.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- I don't. - Then why was this in your locker?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22- What's that doing here? - It's not mine.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- Stop lying!- I'm not.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26I don't want you to die!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28It isn't his.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Huh?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32It was supposed to be a surprise.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34For your birthday.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Al said you had a go at him.- Did he?
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Is that because of the phone bill? - No.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Cos if it matters that much to you, here.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- I don't want it.- Take it.- No. You were right. It's petty.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- I didn't say it was petty. - That's what you were thinking.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Why are you being so moody? - I'm not being moody.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55I said I'll pay. Take it.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56I don't want it.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Just take it.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Fine. Thank you.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08I hid it in Martin's locker
0:21:08 > 0:21:10because you're always going through my things.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- I do not. - You went through my things.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14I was worried. I still am.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Whoever did this to you is dangerous.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Oh, for God's sake, tell her.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- No!- Tell me what?
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Inez!
0:21:20 > 0:21:22He does a kick-boxing class.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25That's how he got the bruises.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Kick boxing? That's it?
0:21:28 > 0:21:32I was so worried. Why didn't you tell me?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34I thought you were having rough sex.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Why does everything have to be about sex?
0:21:36 > 0:21:40- Well, if you never tell me anything, then what am I supposed to think? - Some things are private.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44- If you're worried about your sexuality...- I'm not!- It's nothing to be ashamed of.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Not everyone is as confused as you are.
0:21:46 > 0:21:47And what's that supposed to mean?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49If it's got two legs you'll sleep with it.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51That is not true.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56Really? Alice, Jocelyn, her brother!?
0:21:56 > 0:21:58You were flirting with HIM this morning.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I haven't cheated on you in...ages.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06He's right. Nothing is private with you. Ever.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08I've had it.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Inez?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14KNOCK ON DOOR Yeah, come in.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Have you read the review?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Yeah. It's fine.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Didn't you like it?
0:22:22 > 0:22:26Well, it was a bit confusing. This is one restaurant, yeah?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28- Yes. - Sounded like two different places.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Like most of the review is really negative,
0:22:30 > 0:22:32and in the middle...
0:22:32 > 0:22:35"Halibut seared to perfection,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38"surprisingly tasty duck confit. The service attentive
0:22:38 > 0:22:41"without being obsequious." Sounds like you enjoyed it.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43That was before they switched the wine.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- That was it? That was all that went wrong?- Well, it's a crime.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47It's not as if someone died, is it?
0:22:47 > 0:22:51- I'm reporting them to Trading Standards.- Heston, what if they're struggling to survive?
0:22:51 > 0:22:53I have a moral duty to my readers.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Well, then, I guess it's fine.
0:22:57 > 0:22:58But you did ask me to read it.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04So, why didn't you tell your mother about the kick boxing?
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Because if I tell her one thing, she has to know about everything -
0:23:07 > 0:23:10my friends, my girlfriend, what we do in bed...
0:23:10 > 0:23:11Still...
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- She's not talking to me. - Yeah, I don't blame her.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18This is serious, Martin. What if she really means it?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- She's warned you enough times. - This is all your fault.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24It wouldn't have killed you to tell me about the kick boxing.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27If you want me to talk to you then stop prying into my sex life.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Well, why do you have to be so secretive about it?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Some people like to keep it to themselves.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35All right. All right!
0:23:35 > 0:23:36I won't ask you about your sex life.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39But I was worried. Look at you.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43I should have told you about the kick boxing. I'm sorry.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47And it's...just a normal class?
0:23:49 > 0:23:50There's nothing kinky?
0:23:51 > 0:23:55No bondage? No...sex games?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Unbelievable.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02What? What did I say?
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Hey, hey, hey.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Why did you tell Jas that I had a go at you?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Eh?
0:24:10 > 0:24:13No, I just said you were a bit stressed, that's all.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17I wasn't stressed, I was surprised to see you on her profile page.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- That really bothers you, doesn't it?- No.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23But you do realise that she isn't interested, right?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- I didn't think that she was.- Good.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Besides, I've got a girlfriend, you know that.- Yeah, I know.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32- So, what's the problem? - There's no problem.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Be nice to meet her, though.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Yeah. Sure.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38All in good time, Kevin. All in good time.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44I know I shouldn't keep going on about his sex life
0:24:44 > 0:24:45but you know what it's like as a parent.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48It's none of my business, but I think you should stop worrying
0:24:48 > 0:24:51about Martin and concentrate on your own relationship.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Thank you.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Matches my eyes, see?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00I don't know why I let you do this to me.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03This is absolutely your last warning.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Either you grow up and act like an adult or we are through.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Now finish the stock check.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13And Martin's all right, is he?
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Yes. And for what it's worth, I don't think he's gay.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19No. He has to be.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Gwyneth!
0:25:20 > 0:25:24Well, all the interesting men are gay...or bisexual.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26I thought you were worried.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30Only about the dangerous sex. But even that's better than boring.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Howard wants to sack me.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38That's why he's booked this development person.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Have you got my phone?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41That doesn't make any sense.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43It does. He's always trying to make savings.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45And he changed my HCA shift.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49Karen, you're fine, all right. I've seen much worse.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53- "Much worse"? What do you mean, "much worse"?- Chris! He could sack any one of us.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57- How many messages did you send me last night?- You are both over-reacting.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Over-reacting?
0:25:59 > 0:26:02I'm getting fat, I'm losing my sex drive,
0:26:02 > 0:26:05I could have a heart attack and you would say that I was over-reacting?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Will you tell her that you were winding her up, please?
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Were you?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13It's like taking candy from a baby.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16There's nothing wrong with you, Karen, except perhaps an over-active imagination.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Do you know why Howard is doing this?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Because he wants to feel useful?
0:26:23 > 0:26:24What do you think?
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Jas?
0:26:27 > 0:26:29KAREN: You all right?
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Huh?
0:26:32 > 0:26:33What's wrong?
0:26:33 > 0:26:34It's nothing.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51Mr Bellamy has brought me here today to assess the state of patient care
0:26:51 > 0:26:53at The Mill Health Centre.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55We're going to be looking at patient interaction,
0:26:55 > 0:26:58support systems for learning, existing protocols, et cetera...
0:26:58 > 0:27:00- Ah, Mrs...?- Parks.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Parks, welcome, welcome. We're delighted to have you here
0:27:03 > 0:27:05and look forward to showing you the very best
0:27:05 > 0:27:06that The Mill has to offer.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09I won't shake, thanks, I'm short of sanitiser...
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd