A Slight Misunderstanding

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0:00:27 > 0:00:30MUSIC: "Road To Nowhere" by Talking Heads

0:00:30 > 0:00:33# But we don't know where we've been

0:00:35 > 0:00:39# And we know what we're knowing

0:00:39 > 0:00:43# But we can't say what we've seen

0:00:43 > 0:00:47# And we're not little children

0:00:49 > 0:00:53# And we know what we want... #

0:00:53 > 0:00:55PHONE RINGS

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Aren't you supposed to be in Morocco?

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Mauritius. Yeah. Still waiting for my mates to turn up.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05Just wanted to double-check -

0:01:05 > 0:01:07you sure you don't want to stay at mine while I'm away?

0:01:07 > 0:01:10That's very sweet of you but, honestly, I'm fine.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12- DOORBELL BUZZES - I have to go.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14OK, enjoy - where was it again?

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Mauritius.

0:01:16 > 0:01:17Bye!

0:01:19 > 0:01:20You ready to go, mate?

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Mate, I was born ready.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26Midlands Med School Meat-Heads on Tour. Thailand 2011.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Vegas 2012.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31- BOTH:- Mauritius 2013. Total devastation!

0:01:35 > 0:01:37- Where's Noel?- Noel's not here.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39What? He's party leader.

0:01:39 > 0:01:41Club rules clearly state, the leader gets here first.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Yeah, it's a bit stupid seeing as we agreed to meet here,

0:01:44 > 0:01:46and he does have to travel from the Outer Hebrides or wherever.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49It's only Glasgow. This is not good enough.

0:01:49 > 0:01:50That boy's a serious risk.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Perhaps we should have skipped his turn and let me be leader again.

0:01:53 > 0:01:56Give him a chance, Benny. You know, he's sorted it all out.

0:01:56 > 0:01:57He's planned it all.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00You know, there's no reason to assume that he'll muck it up.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02No reason except he's Noel Butterfield.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05And...and he's got a girlfriend.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08No? Who?

0:02:08 > 0:02:11He wouldn't tell me her name. Got very cagey.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Gave me serious cause for concern.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Oh hold on, he's not going to try and bring her with, is he?

0:02:17 > 0:02:21What, and risk breaking rule number seven - instant expulsion?

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Morning, Al.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Yeah, hiya.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33I've been meaning to have a word with you.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Can it wait until I've had a cup of coffee?

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Had a little bit of a late one with Jimmi last night.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Were you drowning your sorrows after your break-up with Jackie?

0:02:41 > 0:02:43It must have been ever so upsetting for you.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47Yeah, well, that's all in the past now. Onwards and...

0:02:56 > 0:02:58DOORBELL BUZZES Here he is.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Is he on his own though? Or has he brought along whatshername?

0:03:01 > 0:03:06Hey! Here he is. Our beloved leader and he's on his own.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09An hour late, Noel. Not good, mate, not good.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13Yeah, uh, sorry, I, uh, messed up the timings a bit

0:03:13 > 0:03:18so we don't actually have to be anywhere for, like, hours yet.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22But I've sussed us a great greasy spoon so we can go and have a nosh.

0:03:22 > 0:03:23My treat.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27Yeah, Noel. All right, nice one, Noel.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30Yeah, we'll line our stomachs before we get on it.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32I'd rather have had a lie-in, thanks.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35I would've phoned. I just, uh, forgot.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37But look, I've got everything else sorted.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41All our documentation, printed T-shirts,

0:03:41 > 0:03:43I've even downloaded us some box sets

0:03:43 > 0:03:45for us to watch when we're hungover.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Hey, good job, come on, Benny.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Yeah, all right, fair enough.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55Mine's a full English, with all the trimmings. Yeah?

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- What's wrong with you? - Mate, I think

0:03:57 > 0:04:00I might've pulled a muscle doing that sponsored bike ride last week.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02It's been aching ever since.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Where was this sponsored bike ride?

0:04:04 > 0:04:08Arizona. It was one of those company things, morale-booster.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11Probably cost more to fly us out there than we actually raised.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15But it's definitely something muscular though, I think...

0:04:15 > 0:04:20- It's DVT.- You are kidding. - He can't fly.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23It didn't always look like that, honestly. It could be anything.

0:04:23 > 0:04:24Dermatitis!?

0:04:26 > 0:04:28How long have we got before we have to get there?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Oh, ages. Bags of time.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34Long enough to get to St Phil's? Get a fit-to-fly diagnosis?

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Maybe. Or maybe not.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39You know what waiting times are like.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44But let's stay positive, eh, lads?

0:04:44 > 0:04:47If it is DVT, then we've saved your life.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50But let's get to St Phil's and find out.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55And whilst he's there, we've got time to find a replacement,

0:04:55 > 0:04:56just in case.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Oi! Now you're not taking your missus in my place.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Rule number one - no girls allowed.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03That is not what I meant.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05I just wondered if you had a mate around here

0:05:05 > 0:05:07that might fancy a holiday?

0:05:09 > 0:05:11I love the food on planes.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Kevin was planning on blagging his way into business class.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Wonder what the food's like on there?

0:05:16 > 0:05:18They have the best-looking staff, I remember that much.

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Right, back to the wart-freezing.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23- See you later.- See ya.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Sorry, mate, you can't come in here.

0:05:29 > 0:05:30Yeah, it's OK, he's with me.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32I'm party leader.

0:05:32 > 0:05:36Yeah. Noel, Jimmi - Jimmi, Noel. Do you want to go to Mauritius?

0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Yeah. Who doesn't want to go to Mauritius?- Top man. See I told you we'd do it.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42OK. Give Howard a call. Tell him it's an emergency.

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Say one of our mates has got DVT

0:05:43 > 0:05:45and if he can't make the flight, we're a man down.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Slow down, mate. I can't go today. - Just call him here, I'll ask him.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52No, no, no, I mean, I need time to plan, you know, well in advance. Thanks, but no, thanks.

0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Maybe Mandy would be up for it? - No, no ladies, sorry. Club rules.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Not even gay ones?

0:05:58 > 0:06:02Uh, not sure we've got a rule for them. Kevin?

0:06:02 > 0:06:04No, no girls of any persuasion.

0:06:04 > 0:06:08No, I can just picture her now, liberating all the hot chicks.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10No, we'll have to think of someone else.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13No, it won't work, I've just thought - the malaria meds

0:06:13 > 0:06:15and all that stuff. No-one else can take Benny's place.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Good thinking, party leader.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20But you don't need malaria meds for Mauritius.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23I have all the documentation in my dossier.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27- Didn't you check? - It's not my job. He's party leader.

0:06:27 > 0:06:28Here you go. All my research.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Noel, this is a list for Mauritania.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Uh?

0:06:38 > 0:06:42You haven't booked a trip to Mauritania, have you?

0:06:42 > 0:06:47Might've done. Why, is that bad?

0:06:49 > 0:06:53Here we go..."Mauritania. Not to be confused with Mauritius."

0:06:53 > 0:06:56There, see. It's easily done.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59"An Islamic Republic in West Africa. The Foreign...

0:06:59 > 0:07:03"The Foreign Office warns of terrorism, kidnapping,

0:07:03 > 0:07:04"human rights abuses.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07"Travel is not advised unless absolutely essential."

0:07:09 > 0:07:11We do really need a holiday.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Not in the middle of a danger zone!

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Great work, party leader. Thanks a bunch.

0:07:17 > 0:07:22MUSIC: "Road To Nowhere by Talking Heads

0:07:23 > 0:07:25But you can still get your money back on

0:07:25 > 0:07:27non-refundable tickets, can't you?

0:07:28 > 0:07:30If I made a mistake.

0:07:31 > 0:07:35What if I buy the cancellation insurance now, then cancel?

0:07:35 > 0:07:37What are you...?

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Hello, is there any way whatsoever that we can get our money

0:07:39 > 0:07:41back on our tickets?

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Yeah, right. Thank you. Goodbye.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48So what did she say?

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Kevin?

0:07:52 > 0:07:55You know, I'm trying to figure out if you've always been this stupid

0:07:55 > 0:07:58or if being in love has completely fried your brains.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Well, she's not in love with me.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05She left me.

0:08:11 > 0:08:12Were you just in my room?

0:08:12 > 0:08:18No. Well, yeah, I was, but I wasn't doing anything funny.

0:08:18 > 0:08:19So why would you lie about it?

0:08:21 > 0:08:25You see, I was up to no good. Sorry.

0:08:25 > 0:08:26Oh. Right.

0:08:28 > 0:08:29Are you OK, Jas?

0:08:29 > 0:08:32If you need someone to talk to...

0:08:32 > 0:08:36I... I don't - thank you, I'm fine.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37I just need to get on.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47I really needed to get away. I needed you and Benny.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49I wanted it to be the best.

0:08:49 > 0:08:53Noel, why didn't you say something? Extenuating circumstances, mate!

0:08:53 > 0:08:56I'll make it work. Do whatever it takes.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59I'm not going to let Prudence ruin this for us.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Sorry? What...what did you say her name was?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05No wonder you didn't tell us about her.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09How about I get some lunch?

0:09:09 > 0:09:10I always think better when I'm walking.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Yeah, that was always your excuse for skipping lectures.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16There's medical evidence for it. Blood flow and stuff.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18You stay here and I'll come back with some butties

0:09:18 > 0:09:21and a brilliant plan about how to get us out of this mess.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30PATIENT SNEEZES

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Sorry for the hold-up, I've just got to find some...

0:09:38 > 0:09:40PATIENT SNEEZES

0:09:40 > 0:09:41Um..

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Sorry. I'm just coming.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54Hi.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Is there a problem, Dr Granger?

0:09:59 > 0:10:02- Is it my outfit? - No, you look...breathtaking.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Oh, well, thank you.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07I borrowed it from a friend of mine - Mrs Beccles.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08She lives on my street.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11She was quite the golfing sensation in her day.

0:10:11 > 0:10:12I'm sure she was.

0:10:12 > 0:10:16Right, we better get going. Ladies first.

0:10:16 > 0:10:21Thank you. Oh, no, no, no. I have my own balls.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22Mrs Beccles gave it me.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24- She thought it might bring me luck. - OK.

0:10:28 > 0:10:29Have you got a tee?

0:10:29 > 0:10:33Oh, yes, thank you indeed, we had tea and cakes before I left her.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35No, no - a tee.

0:10:36 > 0:10:40Ah, I knew there was something not quite right.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Not the only thing. - Excuse me.- Nothing.

0:10:45 > 0:10:50Shall I... Shall I take your handbag for you?

0:10:50 > 0:10:51Oh... Thank you.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57- Won't be a minute guys. - No, no, no.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00You take as long as you want, Dr Granger.

0:11:00 > 0:11:01I want to learn everything.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Oh...just...

0:11:07 > 0:11:09Oh, right, thank you.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18SHE SOBS

0:11:20 > 0:11:22KNOCK ON DOOR

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Leave me alone!

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Jas?

0:11:34 > 0:11:38Sorry, Karen, I'm just not feeling very well.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42Must've caught that bug that's going around.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Do you want to go home?- I can't.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47You can't work like this.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49And you've seen all your patients for this morning.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52I'll run it by Howard, go home, get some rest.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59There's no way you can go to Mauritania, Kevin.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Do you know how homophobic it is out there?

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Why, what's that got to do with us? Hold on.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08You don't think that they'll think that me and Noel are...?

0:12:08 > 0:12:11No, but, by going there, you're endorsing it, aren't you?

0:12:11 > 0:12:14And all the other rights abuses.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Unless, you're going there to make a difference.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19I'm sure there's loads of charities that could use the help of three medics.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21It's a holiday, not a humanitarian mission.

0:12:21 > 0:12:25I get more than enough of that here, at work, thank you very much.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26No, I need some ME time.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30I need to go out on the lash. You know, lose the plot.

0:12:30 > 0:12:31Pull.

0:12:31 > 0:12:35If it's not Mauritius, it'll have to be a cheap flight to Magaluf.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38Do you think your other mate will be OK to fly?

0:12:38 > 0:12:41I'll tell you in a sec. Benny, talk to me, baby.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Have you got a tee?

0:12:46 > 0:12:49What? Already? We're only at hole number two.

0:12:51 > 0:12:52I am only joking!

0:12:53 > 0:12:55It is a silly name for it, anyway.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Perhaps we should think of something a little more sensible.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00It's called a tee.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03And this is the second hole, not hole number two.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06There is so much to learn.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Yeah, I tried telling Zara it's not everyone's idea of fun.

0:13:09 > 0:13:13You-you misunderstand me. I am not complaining.

0:13:13 > 0:13:17On the contrary, I enjoy a challenge.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19So do I, but there are limits.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Excuse me, Dr Granger?

0:13:21 > 0:13:25It's just - I thought you were into more sort of churchy things.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28You do not think that church is as challenging as this?

0:13:28 > 0:13:33As much as I study and strive, there is always something new to learn.

0:13:40 > 0:13:41Oh!

0:13:44 > 0:13:46I'm not sure they're comparable.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50What - you do not think people are devoted to golf?

0:13:51 > 0:13:55I have seen them here, day in, day out, rain or shine,

0:13:55 > 0:13:59feeling elation, despair, tranquillity.

0:14:00 > 0:14:05It fills their lives, it gives them purpose.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07A place to belong.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09I suppose so. I hadn't thought of it like that.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19Oh, Dr Granger, that was wonderful.

0:14:19 > 0:14:20Really?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22Very good, Dr Granger, very good.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25Sorry I took so long. I've been having a big think,

0:14:25 > 0:14:27and I've had a brainwave about how to fix this.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29It'll cost a bit more, but I can cover it

0:14:29 > 0:14:33and we'll get tickets to somewhere like Magaluf, if Benny's leg is...

0:14:33 > 0:14:37It's not better. He has DVT, he can't fly anywhere.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41Which you'd know, if you'd remember to turn on your phone.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Face it, Noel, we're not going anywhere.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Maybe you and me could still go to Mauritania.

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Maybe it's all right.

0:14:51 > 0:14:56And maybe I'd rather stay in Letherbridge and look after Benny, thanks.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58Face it, Noel, you're on your own and I'm sorry,

0:14:58 > 0:15:00but you've only yourself to blame.

0:15:04 > 0:15:08Fair enough, mate. I'll, eh, send you a postcard.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11If-if they do postcards.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14And if I don't get killed, or kidnapped.

0:15:41 > 0:15:42CAR ENGINE APPROACHING

0:15:46 > 0:15:47ENGINE STOPS

0:15:52 > 0:15:53CAR DOOR SHUTS

0:15:58 > 0:15:59DOG BARKS

0:16:05 > 0:16:06DOG BARKS

0:16:10 > 0:16:13It must be here. Nothing simply disappears.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15It really doesn't matter, Mrs Tembe.

0:16:15 > 0:16:19It matters to me. If something is worth doing well... PHONE RINGS

0:16:19 > 0:16:22- Sorry. Hello.- Having fun?

0:16:22 > 0:16:23'Not really, no.'

0:16:23 > 0:16:26She's having a crisis of faith on the back nine.

0:16:26 > 0:16:27Oh, dear.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Yeah, I'm not kidding either.

0:16:29 > 0:16:33Everything can be found, you just have to work hard to find it.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35I could kill you for getting me involved with this.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Kill me? You should thank me.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40- This is your speciality, isn't it? Helping damsels in distress. - 'Well, you know what.'

0:16:40 > 0:16:43First of all, she's not my kind of damsel. And...

0:16:43 > 0:16:45spiritual matters aren't my strong suit.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49She wants to learn golf, not transcendental meditation.

0:16:49 > 0:16:50'Just be sweet to her.'

0:16:50 > 0:16:53You know how to make all kinds of damsels happy, don't you?

0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Yeah, I suppose so...- Well, just get on with it

0:16:55 > 0:16:57cos you need to be at that kids' football match by seven.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00Hello?

0:17:01 > 0:17:04I am so sorry. It is completely lost.

0:17:04 > 0:17:05Well, you know what?

0:17:05 > 0:17:08The way you got to think of it is that your despair at losing it

0:17:08 > 0:17:10will be somebody else's elation, when they find it.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13Half my stock of golf balls was somebody else's once,

0:17:13 > 0:17:14and vice-versa.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16That's how it works.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20Really? So, nothing is ever totally lost?

0:17:20 > 0:17:21Exactly.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25Karma. That's why it's called a round...of golf.

0:17:25 > 0:17:29Well, yes, I did not see it like that before

0:17:29 > 0:17:31but that makes a great deal of sense.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34You're doing really well, OK, so drop out.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Oh...thank you, Dr Granger. I was beginning to doubt myself.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Well, we all have our doubts, Mrs Tembe.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41But that's when you need to keep going.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Come on, only two more holes.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48A student nurse? How did you manage that?

0:17:48 > 0:17:49Well, you know,

0:17:49 > 0:17:53impressed her with tales of my charity fundraising efforts.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55And the size of my pay packet, obviously.

0:17:55 > 0:17:59Well, you're all sorted. Holiday in Letherbridge.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Student nurse digs.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05Yeah, actually, I was wondering if maybe we could just crash here for the week?

0:18:05 > 0:18:06She's only got a single bed

0:18:06 > 0:18:09and I need space, you know, to stretch the leg out.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12Yeah. Maybe I should have gone with Noel.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Do you think he'll be all right, out there on his own?

0:18:15 > 0:18:19- He's got to learn somehow. - Do you think he can though?

0:18:19 > 0:18:23Do you know what? If my leg were better, I'd probably go after him.

0:18:23 > 0:18:24Would you?

0:18:24 > 0:18:29Rule number four - never let down your fellow members.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31But that's why I'm here with you, otherwise I'd be letting you down.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34I'll be well looked after, mate, don't you worry.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36It's Noel who needs help.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Besides what's the worst that could happen - you have a rubbish holiday?

0:18:39 > 0:18:41You get bombed, properly, by terrorists?

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Look, he's a mate though. You know?

0:18:49 > 0:18:50Yeah.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57Call Noel. Tell him not to get on that plane.

0:19:03 > 0:19:04Hole number...

0:19:06 > 0:19:07The 18th hole.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10I did not think we would ever get here.

0:19:10 > 0:19:11Me too!

0:19:11 > 0:19:13Guys, give her a little bit of space, would you?

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Fore!

0:19:21 > 0:19:23No, no...

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Is that what you say - fore? I saw it on the TV once...

0:19:26 > 0:19:28That's a hole in one! That...that's a hole in one!

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Really? No, really? How did I do that?

0:19:31 > 0:19:33Well, beginner's luck.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35No, no, no. It was not luck.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38No, I had an excellent teacher.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42Now you watch, watch Dr Granger get a hole in one.

0:19:44 > 0:19:45That's amazing.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53I was just...

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Oh, yes, a shame. It's a shame.

0:19:55 > 0:19:56You can do it, he can do it again.

0:19:56 > 0:19:57It's a shame.

0:20:04 > 0:20:05MOBILE PHONE BUZZES

0:20:33 > 0:20:36The muppet still hasn't switched his phone on.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Maybe he's already on the plane.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41You've got to get the next flight out there, mate. He can't be left alone.

0:20:41 > 0:20:45Kevin? Mandy said it had all gone pear-shaped. D'you fancy a pint?

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Change of plans, mate. I'm going to Mauritania.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50- You're joking.- I know, sad but true. I've got to dash.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51You can't, mate. I checked it out

0:20:51 > 0:20:53just to be sure I was right about the meds.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56You need a visa to get there. The embassy's in Paris,

0:20:56 > 0:20:59so I'm assuming none of you have got a visa?

0:20:59 > 0:21:02- As soon as he lands, they'll send him straight back again. - We've got to try and stop him.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05Do you want a lift to the airport.

0:21:05 > 0:21:06Yeah, cheers, mate.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09- Go on, hop in, there's more legroom in the back.- Come on. Come on.

0:21:25 > 0:21:26No.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28It was quite easy, in fact,

0:21:28 > 0:21:31once I realised I did not have to try so hard.

0:21:31 > 0:21:36I think that was Dr Granger's problem, on those first few swings.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39Listen, I better go otherwise I'm going to miss the match.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Oh. Are you not going to stay for a drink, to celebrate my hole...

0:21:42 > 0:21:43Oh, yeah, thank you. ..in one?

0:21:43 > 0:21:47No. You've got plenty of new friends to celebrate with,

0:21:47 > 0:21:49besides you're buying.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53- I beg your pardon? - Well, it's a clubhouse rule.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56If you get a hole-in-one, you buy the drinks. Is that right?

0:21:56 > 0:21:58Yeah.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Oh, if you, er...

0:22:01 > 0:22:03What?

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- For all of these people?- Mm-hm.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Do you think they might they take a cheque?

0:22:12 > 0:22:14No.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18But you know what, they will... They will take this.

0:22:18 > 0:22:19Oh, no, I-I-I-I could not.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21I insist. On one condition.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25You never play golf with me ever again.

0:22:28 > 0:22:32That is a deal. I should quit while I am ahead.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Yep.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Although, it has been an enlightening experience.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40Yeah, you can say that again. Have fun.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Cheers, guys.

0:22:42 > 0:22:43Thank you, Dr Granger.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Well, a round of drinks...

0:22:46 > 0:22:49You see, "a round of drinks" - "a round of golf".

0:22:49 > 0:22:52Please, have whatever you want - I am not paying.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54No, no, no, I am just joking!

0:22:54 > 0:22:57You...you fellas...

0:22:59 > 0:23:03Noel, how many times have I told you? Stop turning off your phone!

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Sorry. I didn't think anybody'd be phoning me.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08We're coming to meet you at the airport.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11Uh, I'm not at the airport. I'm at the train station.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Well, you can't get a train to Mauritania.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17I'm getting a train to Paris, to get the visa from the embassy.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20Then the flights are from Paris to Mauritania.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23Wow. You've really put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?

0:23:23 > 0:23:25I might've got the destination a bit mixed up,

0:23:25 > 0:23:29but everything else is planned out. I was party leader.

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Get out of the car.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Get out of the car, Al!

0:23:39 > 0:23:41What do you think you're doing?

0:23:42 > 0:23:43OK, look, I'll tell you what.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Don't get on a train till we get there.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48You're coming to Mauritania?

0:23:48 > 0:23:50No! No-one's going to Mauritania.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52'We'll try and sell the tickets at the embassy,

0:23:52 > 0:23:54'to anyone who wants to go to Mauritania.'

0:23:54 > 0:23:56We will party in Paris.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59So, can Benny come? If we're not flying?

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Well, the nurse has told him to stay put,

0:24:02 > 0:24:05but he'll be fine in Letherbridge, trust me.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07I haven't booked a hotel for us in Paris.

0:24:07 > 0:24:11Yeah, well, we'll wing it. You know, both be party leader.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Could we? That'd be much less stressful.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16We are on our way, mate.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17Nice one.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22To the station?

0:24:22 > 0:24:23To the station.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29I'm just really worried about you.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31This morning, I could see that you were upset.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33And then this afternoon, you just weren't there.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37Karen said you that were sick, but she wouldn't say what...

0:24:37 > 0:24:41I just had this feeling, that there was something wrong.

0:24:41 > 0:24:45There is something is wrong, with you.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49I came home to get away from you, and, look, here you are again.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51What's going on in your head?

0:24:51 > 0:24:55I don't know. I'm worried about you.

0:24:55 > 0:24:59That doesn't give you the right to sit out here, stalking me all night.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01I'm not stalking. I'm not.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03I would never do anything like that.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05The moment that I see your light go out,

0:25:05 > 0:25:08the moment that I know that you're safe, I go.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13You mean you've done this before?

0:25:15 > 0:25:17How many times?

0:25:20 > 0:25:22I just want to look after you.

0:25:22 > 0:25:23You think that makes it better,

0:25:23 > 0:25:26making out it's some kind of favour to me?

0:25:26 > 0:25:29You think I should be grateful for you making my life hell?

0:25:29 > 0:25:31That's not what I want. Of course, it's not...

0:25:31 > 0:25:34I want... I don't know what I want...

0:25:36 > 0:25:39I want... I want...

0:25:39 > 0:25:40I want you.

0:25:48 > 0:25:52This stops, now.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55This...obsession with me.

0:25:57 > 0:26:03I have no feelings for you, none at all, except pity and revulsion.

0:26:03 > 0:26:08- You don't mean that.- I think you're pathetic. Pathetic and disgusting.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Yeah, course you do.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14Making a woman feel like this. Have you any idea how scared I've been?

0:26:16 > 0:26:17Do you get off on it or something?

0:26:17 > 0:26:20Does it make you feel big?

0:26:20 > 0:26:21You don't understand.

0:26:21 > 0:26:25If you ever do anything like this again,

0:26:25 > 0:26:27I'm going to Howard to make a formal complaint.

0:26:29 > 0:26:30Do you understand?

0:26:40 > 0:26:41I'm sorry.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10What are you going to be when you grow up then, eh?

0:27:10 > 0:27:12A naturalist? A philosopher?

0:27:12 > 0:27:13Or is it still a doctor?

0:27:13 > 0:27:14Can't I be all of them?

0:27:14 > 0:27:19There are an infinite number of universes, almost identical to ours.

0:27:19 > 0:27:23At the moment that any event in our universe takes place,

0:27:23 > 0:27:28another universe is created where that event happens differently...

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd