And so to Bed

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0:00:32 > 0:00:34- Morning. - Morning. Have you seen this?

0:00:34 > 0:00:37I have indeed. You can't buy publicity like that.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39You do know those boys nearly died?

0:00:39 > 0:00:41I'm just saying, it's a positive article.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44Of course - there's no tragedy that isn't

0:00:44 > 0:00:46an opportunity for marketing, is there?

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Well, all's well that ends well.

0:00:50 > 0:00:54- I will be all right from here.- OK. - Thank you.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59No, thank you. For three incredible days of bedroom action.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03At one point, I wanted to jack it in, but you wanted to go on and on.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05I do not know where you get your stamina from.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07You are most welcome!

0:01:07 > 0:01:10I'll pick you up at lunchtime for our final session.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12- Yes, indeed. Goodbye.- Bye.

0:01:17 > 0:01:21That is my dear friend, Mr McClurgy.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24I know his mother from church, but she is in hospital at the moment.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26We have been redecorating her bedroom,

0:01:26 > 0:01:29giving it a magnificent makeover.

0:01:31 > 0:01:32Do you know what I fancy doing?

0:01:32 > 0:01:34What's that?

0:01:34 > 0:01:36A big traditional Sunday lunch.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40You do know it's Friday?

0:01:40 > 0:01:44Yeah! Yeah, but it's our last day together,

0:01:44 > 0:01:47and I thought - let's have a big blowout!

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Roast beef and all the trimmings.

0:01:49 > 0:01:53'Sue Jones said, "Dr Donoghue was the first person to

0:01:53 > 0:01:56"realise that Ryan had a problem. She saved his life."'

0:01:57 > 0:01:59Bravo!

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Niamh. I must echo what all the papers are saying.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04What you did yesterday was a wonderful thing.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Above and beyond the call of duty.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Thank you.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11Of course, Al and I were just doing our jobs.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13But one thing I have learned is sometimes you do need to give

0:02:13 > 0:02:16- patients more than the allotted ten minutes.- Right.

0:02:16 > 0:02:21But we can't allow this one isolated incident to mess up our timekeeping.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24And you have to realise that we are doctors, not clock-watchers.

0:02:24 > 0:02:29Indeed, but if you do give a patient extra time,

0:02:29 > 0:02:31inevitably it takes it away from another patient.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35I am impressed by people who do go the extra mile,

0:02:35 > 0:02:39but we must recognise that the Mill's resources are finite.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47Nice speech, Howard. Shame you didn't put it on a banner.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54- Does that picture look straight to you?- I should say so.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Or is the whole wall at an angle, is that it?

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Will you stop fussing?

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Your mother has a new house to go with her new hip.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03She cannot fail to be impressed.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05But she always manages, though, doesn't she?

0:03:05 > 0:03:08PHONE RINGS

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Ma! Let me help you in.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14No! I'm all right.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17If you touch me, I'll lose my balance.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22Thank you.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26Mrs Tembe! Are you part of the welcoming committee?

0:03:26 > 0:03:29I just came to see if there was anything you needed.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31I have got all I need.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34They've even given me replacement body parts.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Oh, I can't wait to sit down.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41What's happened here?

0:03:41 > 0:03:42How do you mean?

0:03:42 > 0:03:44The walls have changed colour.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Yes, me and Mrs Tembe have been doing a spot of decorating.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49How much did that cost?

0:03:49 > 0:03:51It doesn't matter. We can afford it.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53I know, but it's not worth it.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55How long am I likely to live?

0:03:58 > 0:03:59Is it a bird?

0:03:59 > 0:04:02Is it a plane? No, it's Hero Doc!

0:04:02 > 0:04:06Oh, come on, we were a team - like Batman and Robin.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Who's who? No, I'm having none of that.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11You were the hero, I was just your wingman.

0:04:11 > 0:04:17So, hows about you and I go out and celebrate?

0:04:17 > 0:04:18Sounds like a great plan.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Shall I invite the other hero docs?

0:04:20 > 0:04:22- What?- Well, there's the Magnificent Kevin,

0:04:22 > 0:04:26Invisible Mandy, the Mask of Zara's not here,

0:04:26 > 0:04:27but we can always get the Lone Granger.

0:04:27 > 0:04:32Let's really push out the boat and get Tembenator Two?

0:04:32 > 0:04:33Sounds great.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36I'll go and shine that hero signal in the sky.

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Keep your eyes closed.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41I don't know why you make such a fuss.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43You can open them.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46What do you think?

0:04:46 > 0:04:50Oh, it's, um...it's...

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Is that what I think it is?

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Take a look.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Mrs Tembe, come and see this.

0:05:01 > 0:05:02What a beautiful city.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05It's my home town. Aberdeen.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Where the granite comes from.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10And there is no place like home.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13I don't know where you got hold of this.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15We aim to please.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Goodness, I...

0:05:24 > 0:05:28What's happened to my mattress?

0:05:28 > 0:05:30You've had an upgrade.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33You are now the proud owner of a memory foam mattress.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35And may you have many happy memories on it.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38But where is my old mattress?

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Well, the Council took it off to the tip.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Oh no! No!

0:05:42 > 0:05:45Come on, it was knackered and full of lumps.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Those lumps were the things I kept in it -

0:05:48 > 0:05:52jewellery, possessions, my whole life savings.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55You kept your money in your mattress!?

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Of course! You can't trust the banks any more.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00How much exactly are we talking about?

0:06:00 > 0:06:04Let me see, there's...

0:06:07 > 0:06:09£50,000.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18So, how's it coming?

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Like a big fluffy cloud of loveliness.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Aw! So how did your date go yesterday?

0:06:25 > 0:06:26Don't ask.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29What happened? Did you get bitten by her guide dog?

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Well, you know we met on this dating app?

0:06:31 > 0:06:32Sad match.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Well, she was lovely, she was fit, and funny, and she had a nice face.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40But she spent the whole time we were together, looking at other blokes.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42- Giving them marks out of ten.- No!

0:06:42 > 0:06:44That is so shallow.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46It must have been like meeting yourself.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49I don't think that's funny...

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Ow!

0:06:51 > 0:06:52What's the matter?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54I've stabbed myself.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Well, you've done it this time, Dougie!

0:06:58 > 0:07:02I would like to retrace a missing item of rubbish.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04What were you thinking?!

0:07:04 > 0:07:07I could have looked after your money - I'm perfectly capable.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09I've seen precious little evidence.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12No, no, I have already spoken to your colleague.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14He said I need to retrace the order.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16I'm ruined!

0:07:16 > 0:07:18If that bed's gone in the incinerator,

0:07:18 > 0:07:20I'm going in after it.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23That'll save on funeral expenses.

0:07:23 > 0:07:28The order number is 2263.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33It was a double mattress.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35The Council came to collect it this morning.

0:07:35 > 0:07:3870 years just gone up in smoke!

0:07:38 > 0:07:43Yes, I will wait, but please do not play me any more Vivaldi.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46You do realise that if you'd died in hospital,

0:07:46 > 0:07:47I would have burnt that bed anyway?

0:07:47 > 0:07:50What makes you think I'm going to die first?

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Hello?

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Yes.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59Oh, I...I see.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Well, that was most helpful. Thank you.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Well, it turns out the mattress did not go to the incinerator.

0:08:09 > 0:08:10Thank goodness!

0:08:10 > 0:08:15Because when the Council came to collect it, it was already missing.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20The mattress has been taken by person or persons unknown.

0:08:22 > 0:08:23So what are we supposed to do,

0:08:23 > 0:08:25ring every door bell in a five-mile radius?

0:08:25 > 0:08:30It would not have been taken by one of the neighbours, no.

0:08:30 > 0:08:35Perhaps it was taken by a young person or a rough sleeper.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40It's worse.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43You can use a magnet to find a needle, we've got nothing.

0:08:43 > 0:08:48We have an A to Z, a pair of binoculars

0:08:48 > 0:08:50and the power of prayer.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53Mrs Tembe, I no longer believe in God.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57Well, it is fortunate that God still believes in you.

0:08:59 > 0:09:00We will find it.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:09:13 > 0:09:15- Are you all right, Mum? - Yes. It was nothing.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18- We can always get a takeaway. - No! We can do this.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20Just need to keep calm, and...

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Flaming Ada!

0:09:22 > 0:09:25Oh! Immie, open that door!

0:09:25 > 0:09:27FIRE ALARM

0:09:27 > 0:09:30Jack, turn that sodding thing off.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33I hardly think it's got a snooze function, Mum.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46So, how's lunch going?

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Great. If you're on a starvation diet.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Anything I can do to help?

0:09:51 > 0:09:54There is a curse on this family, and it's me.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56I can't even manage a family meal!

0:09:58 > 0:09:59I knew this was a waste of time.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02Well, maybe we should wait till this evening,

0:10:02 > 0:10:04when they may set fire to it.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07£50,000 would burn magnificently.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09No, we'll keep looking.

0:10:09 > 0:10:14Well, there is a patch of wasteland over there.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16You seem to know this place really well.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18I love going to parks.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21I miss the wide open spaces of Botswana.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24It is a shame that England is such an indoors-y country.

0:10:24 > 0:10:29People spend most of their lives in cars or in offices.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Parks are for everyone!

0:10:31 > 0:10:36And surely you are...you are...

0:10:36 > 0:10:38What is it?

0:10:38 > 0:10:42I think I have located your mattress.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45KNOCK ON DOOR

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Howard.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51I, um...

0:10:53 > 0:10:55I just wanted to say congratulations.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01I tried to earlier, but we went off on a bit of a tangent.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03I'm sorry I went off on my soapbox.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06No, I can see you're passionate.

0:11:06 > 0:11:07I understand that.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18I know it must have been a bit of a shock for you,

0:11:18 > 0:11:21you know, breaking in and seeing them all like that.

0:11:23 > 0:11:27I'm sure you've seen worse in the army.

0:11:27 > 0:11:28I saw a few things.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31We had one young lad took his life in Northern Ireland.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Shot himself with an SA80.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38And afterwards, I kept wondering what I could have done.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42My job was to protect these guys,

0:11:42 > 0:11:45but you suddenly realise how scared and vulnerable they are.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49- Mrs Tembe?- Yes? - What are you going to do?

0:11:49 > 0:11:52Well, I am going to demand that they surrender the mattress

0:11:52 > 0:11:54immediately, and then I'm going to ask them

0:11:54 > 0:11:56why they are wasting their lives in such a way.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59- You don't do that.- What?

0:11:59 > 0:12:03If they get the slightest inkling that that mattress is valuable...

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Then what would you suggest?

0:12:06 > 0:12:09I know a sure-fire way to get rid of teenagers.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Hey guys!

0:12:14 > 0:12:17My name is Dougie, and this is Mrs Tembe,

0:12:17 > 0:12:20and we've come over to talk about Jesus.

0:12:20 > 0:12:21No! Right, right...

0:12:24 > 0:12:25See!

0:12:25 > 0:12:29I am not sure I like you using the Lord's name in such a way.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Yeah, but I did get the mattress!

0:12:36 > 0:12:38What is it?

0:12:38 > 0:12:40It's the wrong one.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42That will be God's punishment, then.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44No, it is not a punishment, it is a test,

0:12:44 > 0:12:47and we have to prove we are worthy.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49It could be anywhere.

0:12:49 > 0:12:50No,

0:12:50 > 0:12:54it can only be in one place, and as it isn't here,

0:12:54 > 0:12:56I suggest we move on immediately.

0:12:56 > 0:12:57Come on.

0:13:01 > 0:13:02Thanks, Howard.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04No, thank you.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07Oi.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11You were eavesdropping?

0:13:11 > 0:13:13I might have lingered longer than I needed to.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Just thought I'd pop in and see how Niamh was.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Got off on the wrong foot earlier.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19You're not the unfeeling android after all.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Android? I'm not an android.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23I know.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Are we ever going to find this thing?

0:13:31 > 0:13:33It is just a matter of mind over mattress.

0:13:35 > 0:13:39Oh, look, a coffee machine.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42We're getting a better class of fly-tipper here.

0:13:43 > 0:13:47Oh, that's exactly the same type Alan and me had back in the day.

0:13:47 > 0:13:48Who is Alan?

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Oh, Alan, my other half.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Or at least he was until he died and left me a vulgar fraction.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Your mother never mentioned him.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00No, no.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03Mother works on the policy that if you don't talk about something,

0:14:03 > 0:14:05then it goes away.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08I remember when me and Alan used to come to stay,

0:14:08 > 0:14:11she'd always say, "You two lads can have the spare room.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13"You don't mind sharing for one night."

0:14:13 > 0:14:14As if we'd never actually...

0:14:16 > 0:14:18I am sure it is just her way.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21She comes from a different world to you.

0:14:21 > 0:14:25When Alan died, all she said was, "Sorry, son."

0:14:25 > 0:14:28As if I'd lost a bus pass, or a pet cat.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31Well, sometimes it is hard to find the right words,

0:14:31 > 0:14:33but I know she loves you very much.

0:14:35 > 0:14:36Mattress.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53How long are you going to keep this up for?

0:14:53 > 0:14:55I dunno. Until I fossilise.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Yesterday was so perfect.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I began to think, "I'm a mum."

0:15:02 > 0:15:04I boss people about and I look after them.

0:15:04 > 0:15:08You do. But we're a family.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11So if lunch does go up in smoke, we all muck in and make it better.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13You shouldn't have to.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Oh, for pity's sake!

0:15:15 > 0:15:19You know, this family has had a real run of bad luck.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22But we're always OK cos we've got this amazing woman who keeps us

0:15:22 > 0:15:24going and doesn't give up on us.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27Well, give her a call, and she can finish dinner off.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29The kids are doing that.

0:15:29 > 0:15:32As we speak, they are scraping what they can off the oven.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37So will you do us the very great honour

0:15:37 > 0:15:38and be our guest?

0:15:43 > 0:15:44It's not the right one!

0:15:44 > 0:15:48Well, let us concentrate on finding the right one.

0:15:48 > 0:15:49What's the use?

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Even if I do find it, and a sack of gold next to it,

0:15:52 > 0:15:55Ma will still not be happy. She doesn't do happy.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Once you've discovered misery, nothing else will do.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Well, feeling sorry for yourself can be quite addictive.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02So, I'm just going to live here.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05That'll save Mum the trouble of kicking me out of the house.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Fine. Well, you can wallow in self-pity.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11It saves you the effort of actually doing something with your life.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15I did actually sleep rough once.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18After Alan died, I went back to live at home,

0:16:18 > 0:16:22but Ma and me were just fighting all the time.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25I got drunk one night and never came back.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Couldn't handle the shouting.

0:16:27 > 0:16:28Where did you go?

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Round in circles.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Tried to sleep in the church, but it was locked.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37Went to a bus shelter, but the light kept blinking all night.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Finally went to a railway viaduct.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Where was this viaduct?

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Why, do you think...?

0:16:44 > 0:16:48Well, we have searched every other patch of wasteland.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53Bonjour, mademoiselle. Bienvenue a l'Hotel 'ollins.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Your waitress is Imogen.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57The soup is Heinz tomate.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59This way, please. Maman.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Et Papa.

0:17:05 > 0:17:06It's all very lovely.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08You haven't tried the food yet.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19- Mrs Tembe?- What?- I've just stood in something really squidgy.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Well, sometimes it is best to just keep walking.

0:17:38 > 0:17:43Well, as burnt food goes, I suppose that wasn't too bad.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Non, monsieur, il est "bien cuit".

0:17:45 > 0:17:47C'est a la mode, tout le monde, aujourd'hui.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50Anything sounds good if you say it in French.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52I should know.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54I've been thrown out of all the best French restaurants.

0:17:54 > 0:17:55That's true.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58How about a long country walk, help the food go down?

0:17:58 > 0:17:59No, I'm glued to this seat.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01I know! Why don't we look at the Hollins family album?

0:18:01 > 0:18:05- Yeah.- I'm not sure about that. What about a board game?

0:18:05 > 0:18:07No, I want to see the album.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Right, on the count of three.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15We're going to roll him off the mattress.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19- One, two...- Wait.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21Have you never heard the expression,

0:18:21 > 0:18:24"There but for the grace of God go I?"

0:18:24 > 0:18:28Have you ever heard the expression, "My ma is going to rip my nuts off?"

0:18:28 > 0:18:31But we cannot steal a mattress from a homeless person!

0:18:31 > 0:18:33We'll just grab it and run.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35If my ma does not get that mattress,

0:18:35 > 0:18:38I'll be sleeping on that with him tonight.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40HE MUTTERS

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Good morning.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47Well, it appears that you have something

0:18:47 > 0:18:50that doesn't truly belong to you.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52This mattress is my mother's mattress.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55My poor, sick, dear mother.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00I am going to give you £20.

0:19:00 > 0:19:04There is a second-hand shop just up the road.

0:19:04 > 0:19:05You can buy yourself a new mattress,

0:19:05 > 0:19:07much better condition than this.

0:19:10 > 0:19:13OK then, £50.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18£100.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Mrs Tembe, let's not start a bidding war.

0:19:24 > 0:19:27OK, £100.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Wait a minute.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02Who's the girl in the fishnets?

0:20:02 > 0:20:05That's Jack. He was on his way to the Rocky Horror Show.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07- I thought I told you to burn that. - Burn?

0:20:07 > 0:20:11I thought you said laminate and send to all my friends. Ow!

0:20:13 > 0:20:14Ring any bells?

0:20:17 > 0:20:20It's like seeing yourself in a film,

0:20:20 > 0:20:23but not actually remembering that you did it.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27But it's been, um...

0:20:27 > 0:20:30It's been really nice spending time with you all,

0:20:30 > 0:20:33feeling like I actually belong somewhere.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Mum, what is it?

0:20:44 > 0:20:45I can remember, um...

0:20:47 > 0:20:49..running along a freezing cold beach,

0:20:49 > 0:20:53but I didn't care because I was making this thing fly.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03I cannot... You see, now I have stepped in something squidgy.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Shh! Stop complaining!

0:21:05 > 0:21:07I'm exhausted already.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08It's only up in the attic.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Why don't we take it for a spin?

0:21:10 > 0:21:14- I'm not sure that's a... - No, it's all right.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18But you do know I'm not going to magically get my memory back.

0:21:18 > 0:21:19We know.

0:21:19 > 0:21:24But maybe I could get my camera, and we can make some new memories.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26- KNOCK ON DOOR - Hello?

0:21:31 > 0:21:32We've searched high and low,

0:21:32 > 0:21:35covered every single inch of wasteland...

0:21:36 > 0:21:37..and we found it!

0:21:37 > 0:21:39HE LAUGHS

0:21:44 > 0:21:50I know it is a little grubby, but it is all present and correct.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Oh, except for £100.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54But you'll just have to take that out of my pocket money.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Just give me a minute to go through it.

0:21:56 > 0:21:58A thank you would be nice.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00We've just done a ten-mile trek.

0:22:00 > 0:22:04- Grappled with teenage thugs. - I said, give me a minute.

0:22:04 > 0:22:10- And I...- I think what would also be very nice is a cup of tea. Come.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Howard, a few of us are going to head off to the Icon later to

0:22:21 > 0:22:24celebrate Niamh's heroic act with death-defying amounts of alcohol.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27- Wondering if you wanted to come along.- Yeah, who's coming?

0:22:27 > 0:22:31Doctors Granger, Clay, Haskey and Donoghue.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34Do you know what? I think I've got my own plans for tonight, thanks.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35You sure?

0:22:35 > 0:22:39That's all the more ethanol-based beverage for the rest of us.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48- KNOCK ON DOOR - Come in!

0:22:52 > 0:22:56There is some tea downstairs if you'd like to join us.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58I'm nearly done.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01It's all there, except the £100 you owe me.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04How would you like that, in cash or shall I just cut out a kidney?

0:23:04 > 0:23:06What's up with you?

0:23:06 > 0:23:08As I said earlier, a "thank you" would be nice.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10We're out there risking life and limb,

0:23:10 > 0:23:12and probably contracted pleurisy.

0:23:14 > 0:23:15Thank you.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18I'll be with you in a minute.

0:23:22 > 0:23:23What's under the pillow?

0:23:23 > 0:23:24What do you mean?

0:23:24 > 0:23:27You hid something under there when we come in.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29No.

0:23:29 > 0:23:33Ma, what exactly do you keep in this mattress of yours?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Dougie! Dougie...!- I want to see!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Where did you get this?

0:23:44 > 0:23:48You left it lying around, and I had it framed.

0:23:50 > 0:23:51What for?

0:23:53 > 0:23:54Well, you know...

0:23:57 > 0:23:59..I miss having Alan around the place.

0:24:04 > 0:24:05Look, found it!

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Oh, wow!

0:24:08 > 0:24:09Good luck with that.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12It's one thing flying it on a windy day in Scarborough.

0:24:12 > 0:24:13Don't be so negative.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15All it takes is a bit of faith.

0:24:18 > 0:24:19Oh, yeah?

0:24:22 > 0:24:26So, yes, I keep all these things in the mattress,

0:24:26 > 0:24:30so if anyone breaks in, they'll get them over my dead body.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33But, Ma, you never even mention Alan.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37Because every time I try, you bite my head off.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40And then you accuse me of being homeopathic.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Homophobic.

0:24:43 > 0:24:44Exactly.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48I'm no good with words and stuff.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51It's just the way I am.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54I'm from Aberdeen.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57Where the granite comes from.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Oh, Mrs Tembe, the tea?

0:25:04 > 0:25:08No, no, forget the tea, I think you two should keep talking.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12We will.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Well, I hope you enjoy your new bedroom.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17I will see myself out.

0:25:18 > 0:25:19Thanks.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26See that one?

0:25:28 > 0:25:29You remember that?

0:25:31 > 0:25:33So, how does it feel to be a hero?

0:25:33 > 0:25:36A bit surreal, to be honest.

0:25:36 > 0:25:37Emma. Can I have a quick word?

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Yep, I'm all ears.

0:25:39 > 0:25:40In my office.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Oh. Right, OK.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48Who has parked their Lotus in the staff car park?

0:25:48 > 0:25:49No-one I know.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52But I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54What is he doing here?

0:25:55 > 0:25:57- Come on, you lot!- Come on!

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Careful!

0:26:00 > 0:26:03BEEPING

0:26:06 > 0:26:08SHUTTER CLICKS

0:26:08 > 0:26:12Everybody, this is Adam.

0:26:12 > 0:26:13Hi.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15- Adam, the one who... - Yes, that's right,

0:26:15 > 0:26:19the man who can put his legs behind his neck with no ill effects.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Eh? Howard.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26I'm Niamh. What brings you to this part of the world?

0:26:26 > 0:26:27Actually, I live in Moseley.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29And having just done six solid weeks of classes,

0:26:29 > 0:26:31I wondered if you fancied dinner.

0:26:31 > 0:26:35I would love to, but I just need to check my appointment diary.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38Oh, did you want to see me about something?

0:26:38 > 0:26:40- No, you're all right.- Come with me.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55Mrs Plummer, may I say what a lovely smile you have there.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58I was going to ask if you wanted to come here.

0:26:58 > 0:26:59Oh.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02- What's going on here? - She just slapped me!

0:27:02 > 0:27:04He sexually assaulted me.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07Sorry, I'm being so rude. Please have a seat.

0:27:07 > 0:27:11Dr Haskey. You are indefinitely suspended with immediate effect,

0:27:11 > 0:27:12pending further investigation.