0:00:41 > 0:00:42All right?
0:00:45 > 0:00:49So, Mr Hardwick.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Constable Hollins.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Yeah, it has been a long time, hasn't it?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Can't say I miss the old place.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Can't say the old place misses you, to be honest.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02That was all a misunderstanding, Robert.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03If you say so.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06I want to report an assault.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07Yeah, about that...
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I have an independent witness.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11What happened, exactly?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Well, a client of mine.
0:01:13 > 0:01:18Couldn't take a joke, refused to pay my legitimate fees.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Then he threw a vase at me.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Big Chinese thing. Probably worth a fortune.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26It could have killed me!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- This client of yours, that would be Dr Heston Carter?- That's him.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Nasty piece of work, if you want my professional opinion.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40There has to be some logical explanation.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Yep, that's just what I was thinking.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43There has to be some logical explanation why
0:01:43 > 0:01:45you are in my interview room.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Oh, that's just nonsense. I'm talking about this morning.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50And I'm talking about a member of the public who wants to press
0:01:50 > 0:01:52charges against you for assault.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53This is serious, Heston.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54I appreciate that.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55Do you?
0:01:55 > 0:01:59I do. But you have to understand the unusual circumstances.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Early this morning I persuaded an angry salesman not to pursue
0:02:03 > 0:02:05you for harassment and for slander.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06And now I've got Phil Hardwick,
0:02:06 > 0:02:07of all people,
0:02:07 > 0:02:09claiming that you threw a Ming vase at his head.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10You know he was an ex-copper?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12I would never throw a Ming vase at anyone.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14The damage would be incalculable.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16It was a cheap reproduction, belonged to my mother.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Sentimental value only.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I don't care if it's a knock-off or a priceless antique,
0:02:21 > 0:02:24you are still facing an assault charge!
0:02:24 > 0:02:27This could be the end of your career, Heston!
0:02:27 > 0:02:30- What happened?!- Well...
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Out! Before I throw you out!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33You're insane!
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I threw a vase at his head.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36It was just a vase.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38But you threw it at his head?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- I did.- Why?
0:02:40 > 0:02:42You've met the man - a loathsome individual!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44OK, let's go back to the beginning.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Just after eight o'clock this morning you called me,
0:02:46 > 0:02:50at home, insisting that I attend an incident at your house.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59Rob, sorry to disturb you at this ungodly hour.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00You're in uniform.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- I didn't mean this to be an official visit.- Don't worry about that.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07I can be as private or as official as you like.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08What can I do for you, Heston?
0:03:09 > 0:03:13Well, the thing is, my home has been violated.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Someone entered my house last night, when I was asleep.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Oh, dear, what's been taken?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Nothing. And this is not the first time.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Not the first time that nothing's been taken?
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Not the first time I have suffered an invasion of this sort.
0:03:29 > 0:03:35For the last few nights, I have been aware of an unauthorised presence.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Do you mean ghosts?
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Do I look insane?!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- Any sign of forced entry?- No. - And nothing's been taken?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Not as yet. But after this morning...
0:03:49 > 0:03:51What happened this morning?
0:03:55 > 0:03:56A clue?
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Are you saying that your mystery intruder dropped this in the house?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01No, he dropped it through the letter box yesterday,
0:04:01 > 0:04:07when he visited me under the pretext of me changing my energy supplier.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Is that funny?!
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Well, you said this has been going on for several nights.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16You see, he visited when Julia was here a few years ago.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18And he could have picked up the keys then.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Julia? That's a long time ago.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21He's playing the long game.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23You need to check him out.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Alex Bolton, talk to his so-called employers, he's probably got a criminal record.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29This doesn't sound logical.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Let me be the judge of that, Sergeant Hollins.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36I'll see what I can do.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48And I did. I checked him out.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50I know, I know!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53There was no need for any of this.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54None of it.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09If you take that with you.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- And the tuna?- Oh, yes, it's on its way. I'll bring it to the table.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17I will come back another time when you are not so busy.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18No, no, no. It's OK.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22It's always like this lunchtime. There's the letherbridge Local History Society and the
0:05:22 > 0:05:25St Bernadette's Bell-ringers, all fighting over the last piece of quiche!
0:05:25 > 0:05:27You seem to have everything under control.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30I could do with another pair of hands, actually.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Oh, well, they are here!
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Oh, great! Thank you.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37I still don't see how you ended up having anything to do with
0:05:37 > 0:05:39a scumbag like Phil Hardwick.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- It was Haluk's idea.- Who's Haluk?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Haluk Ulusoy.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Oh, please, come on.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Haluk Ulusoy. He's my locksmith.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I'm having my locks changed.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Very wise.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- He is.- He's a very wise man.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Security is about more than bolts and window locks.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17If the soul is disturbed, the body cannot feel secure.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20That is so true.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Do you feel safe in this house?
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Well...
0:06:28 > 0:06:29I can wrap your home with steel.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35But the fear lies within you.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38You think I'm imagining it?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40What do you imagine?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Sometimes I think...
0:06:44 > 0:06:46..there are people...
0:06:47 > 0:06:49..here...
0:06:50 > 0:06:52..at night in the dark.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Little people?
0:06:54 > 0:06:56"Little people"? You mean, Fairies?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Fairies, elves, Borrowers.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Borrowers are in a book for children.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03And fairies and elves aren't?
0:07:03 > 0:07:04I don't follow you.
0:07:04 > 0:07:09The rational mind seeks a rational explanation.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11And the irrational mind?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh, no, no. You misunderstand me.
0:07:15 > 0:07:20We seek a rational explanation, but we do not always find it.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25And then the irrational soul draws upon nightmares
0:07:25 > 0:07:28and fairy tales to explain the inexplicable.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Spirits and poltergeists.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33You considered them?
0:07:33 > 0:07:34- I have.- And worse?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Oh. Much worse.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- Sometimes I wonder...- What?
0:07:46 > 0:07:49..if...I'm losing my mind.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Well, then my window locks will not help.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56What do I do?
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Do you believe you have an infestation of elves,
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- fairies and Borrowers?- No.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- Do you believe you are in your right mind?- Yes.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Well, then...somebody has been in your house while you sleep.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16You just need to find out who.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19And for that you do not need a locksmith.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23You need a private investigator.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27But you've got a mate in the force.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Who refused to take my concerns seriously!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33How did you end up with Hardwick?
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Did you just randomly pick a name out of the Yellow Pages?!
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Thank you for your call, Dr Carter.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51This is me, Philip Hardwick.
0:08:51 > 0:08:5522 years in the Force, 12 of those in CID.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59My knowledge, my experience and my time are at your disposal.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Excellent, Mr Hardwick. A cup of tea?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Let's just crack on, shall we?
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Indeed.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08You want me to track down this salesman who came to your door.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Alex Bolton of West Midlands Energy.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15I need you to find proof that he's been breaking into my home
0:09:15 > 0:09:16at night.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Why would he do that?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23£500 a day plus expenses.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28There are cheaper PIs, I could give you names.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Can't say I'd recommend them, though.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35No, I'm sure that your rates reflect your diligence and efficiency.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41I like that. I should put that on my business card.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46- So, five hundred, it is. Plus VAT, of course.- Of course.- Cash in hand.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- How much?!- I know, I know.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55And you just got it out your wallet?!
0:09:55 > 0:09:58I know, Haluk warned me not to be hasty.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03"The wise man treads softly," he said.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05But you thought you'd ignore it.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Well, I wasn't getting much support from you.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18- I don't suppose this looks very good, does it?- Nope.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22But I am on your side, Heston.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I shouldn't really say that, and, if this does get serious,
0:10:28 > 0:10:32then I'll probably have to hand you over to another colleague.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34I understand.
0:10:34 > 0:10:39But while it is me sitting here, being all sympathetic,
0:10:39 > 0:10:42let's go over your little run-in with Mr Bolton.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- The salesman.- Yeah, the salesman.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Can I just confirm...
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Will you sit back and keep out of sight!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Can I just confirm that your process for tracking down Mr Bolton
0:11:00 > 0:11:03was fully compliant with the Data Protection Act?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Why don't I just take you home, Dr Carter?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09There's really no need for you to tag along.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11I'm not "tagging along".
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I want to see what he gets up to.
0:11:13 > 0:11:19Well, so far, I would describe him as a desperate, hard-core,
0:11:19 > 0:11:21seasoned, sales rep.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Well, I found him distinctly sinister.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26What's he up to now?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Looks like he's handing over a business card.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31That's exactly what he did at my house.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33It's all forming a pattern.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Yeah, I'm beginning to get the bigger picture.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Look! He's casing the joint!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- What are you doing?!- In the act! I've caught him in the act!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44This is covert surveillance!
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Dr Carter!
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Dr Carter?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Bang to rights! I believe that's the expression.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53- What are you doing?- Who's he?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Your next victim, I presume.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58It's Mrs Johnson. I've just booked her in for an Energy Review.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59I saw you checking out the windows.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01I was seeing if she had double glazing.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03That's exactly what you did in my house.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Which is what, exactly?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07You're supposed to be on my side. I pay you enough.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- What am I supposed to have done? - You know very well.- Tell me.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14- You broke into my house and you moved things.- Dr Carter...
0:12:14 > 0:12:17And you're going to do the same here. I'm going to speak to Mrs Johnson.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- No! You can't do that.- You watch.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22I'm sorry, but if you say one word of this to my client, I will sue you for libel.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23Well, that's slander, actually.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Whatever. I'll call the police...
0:12:25 > 0:12:28OK. Why don't we phone Sergeant Hollins,
0:12:28 > 0:12:29he knows all about the case.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32In fact, I have his number, why don't I give him a ring?
0:12:32 > 0:12:33- You know Hollins?- I certainly do.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Heston, I was just about to call you.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Yeah, Alex Bolton, your energy salesman...
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- We've caught him red-handed! - What, really?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49I decided to take matters into my own hands and we have him cornered.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52No, no, no, Heston, I've spoken to his boss, he's legit.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53'No criminal record.'
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- But he's casing the joint.- Heston?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58This man is harassing me! He shouldn't be allowed out without his meds!
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Do you hear me, Sergeant? He needs locking up!
0:13:02 > 0:13:03DOOR OPENS
0:13:07 > 0:13:08I've had a word with him.
0:13:10 > 0:13:16And, luckily for you, he's not going to press charges.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Thank you.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20What were you thinking of?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22I wish I knew, Rob.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26It's all been a bit much, to be honest.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Do you mind if I ask you something? - No, of course not.
0:13:33 > 0:13:34It's about Claire.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Oh, she is a very charitable lady. A good Christian woman.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42I was thinking about asking her out.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44She hinted...heavily.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I suppose that is not so very surprising.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52What do you think, do you think I'm ready?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54No.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56I mean, I am not sure.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Well, you said I'd come a long way.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Well, you have.- Well, then?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Well, you will have to tell her.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- She knows.- Really?!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Yes.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13I am surprised.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Surprised that I told her,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18or surprised that she's still talking to me?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Just surprised. You have caught me by surprise, that is all.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24She likes me.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Of course she does. But you have to be careful.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38Right, let's put all the harassment stuff to one side for the moment,
0:14:38 > 0:14:40just don't go near him,
0:14:40 > 0:14:42I mean, like, ever again,
0:14:42 > 0:14:46and try and figure out how you ended up coming to throw
0:14:46 > 0:14:48a vase at Hardwick?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50It was all one ineluctable chain of events,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Never a dull day in this job.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00How much do I owe you?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Oh, I was just beginning to enjoy myself.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05It's not always the most exciting job,
0:15:05 > 0:15:07but you have been entertaining.
0:15:07 > 0:15:08Oh, is that how you see it?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Well, you've got to laugh, Dr Carter, or else you'll cry.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- How much?- You're not giving up?
0:15:14 > 0:15:15Well, it wasn't him, evidently.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18No. But it was someone.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20I no longer require your services.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Suit yourself. That'll be five hundred quid.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28- You've done less than two hours' work!- I charge by the day.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32All you have done is help me make a complete and utter fool of myself.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34I'm just following my client's instructions.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Fine. I want my money's worth.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40You're the boss. What's next?
0:15:40 > 0:15:43You're the expert. What do you suggest?
0:15:44 > 0:15:48I suggest we go back to visit the scene of the crime.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57What crime? That's what I can't get my head round.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59What were you trying to prove?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14"Trespass, with malicious intent"?
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Yes. It not be on the statute book, but it is a crime nevertheless.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20So somebody is breaking into your home...
0:16:20 > 0:16:24They're not "breaking in" exactly. There's no forced entry.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27So somebody is letting themselves into your home,
0:16:27 > 0:16:28doing stuff maliciously.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- That is correct.- OK.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I think you were on the right lines with this salesman.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Is there anyone else who has access to the building or keys?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Haluk. The locksmith.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51And it's not the first time at this property!
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Well, there you go.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56He was a recommendation from Julia, the previous owner.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58He did some work for her a few years ago.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Sounds like a classic case.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03They play the long game, these individuals.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Even if he didn't actually do it himself,
0:17:05 > 0:17:08he could have sold on the keys and the address.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11And he had the temerity to sit in my kitchen,
0:17:11 > 0:17:14drinking freshly ground coffee offering me karmic advice.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18The cheek of it!
0:17:18 > 0:17:19What do we do?
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- We confront him.- Absolutely.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32You have got some nerve.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35In what way?
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Hand over the keys.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38But I haven't finished yet.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Not the new keys. The old keys. Julia's keys.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45The ones you used to let yourself into my house last night.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Dr Carter, when you became a doctor, you swore an oath.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53The Hippocratic oath.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56It is a very part of your soul.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57Can you ever imagine breaking it?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00I fail to see the significance of what you're trying...
0:18:00 > 0:18:01- Would you break it?- Of course not.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04It's the sacred bond between a doctor and his patient.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05I am not a doctor.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07I am only a locksmith.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11And locksmiths don't have Hippocratic oaths.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15But it hurts me deeply to think that you could think that
0:18:15 > 0:18:18I would abuse the trust that you have placed in me.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Who else could it be?!
0:18:19 > 0:18:22You had the means and the opportunity.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23And my motivation?
0:18:26 > 0:18:30I am the guardian of your security. I am a locksmith.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34I am your servant, and I would never betray you.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Not him, then.- Shut up!
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Have you got anyone else on your list of suspects?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43- What about the milkman?- Shut up.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45- Or the paperboy!- You are shameless!
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Oh, don't you start on me now!
0:18:48 > 0:18:52I may not have a...hypocritical oath, but I am sworn to protect
0:18:52 > 0:18:55you against the forces of evil, be your champion, your guardian.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Get out.- I can save you, Dr Carter.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02I can save you from the things that go bump in the middle of the night!
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Get out of my house.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Not without my fee.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Get out! Before I throw you out!
0:19:07 > 0:19:08You're insane!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Thank you. Enjoy your bell-ringing.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I thought the Devon scones had finished.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- I kept this one hidden.- Aw.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Here, I'll clear those, you sit down and enjoy your scone.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28It is very kind.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36You don't think that someone like me
0:19:36 > 0:19:39should even think about getting into a relationship, do you?
0:19:42 > 0:19:44How do you feel about her?
0:19:44 > 0:19:45I like her.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51And do you have any of "those" feelings about her?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53No! Of course not.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57Are you sure? You do not... fantasise about her?
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Mrs Tembe!- I have to ask!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Obviously, we'd have to take things slowly.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06That would be for the best.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09So you think there might be a possibility?
0:20:09 > 0:20:14Reverend Marchant and I have touched on the possibility at some stage.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15So Viv thinks it might be OK?
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Well, we feel that there is a place in your life for a normal
0:20:19 > 0:20:23relationship at some point in the future.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25I see.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Do you think you are ready?
0:20:32 > 0:20:33I think so.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Well, perhaps you are ready to take the first step.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Maybe you could take her to the cinema.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Or a musical concert.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52No? Or a nice meal in a restaurant.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Mrs Tembe, I can't afford any of that.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57It need not be expensive.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I was not thinking. I'm sorry.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Oh, no. It's not your fault, is it? It's me.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08I don't know what I'm thinking of.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11What with everything else, I don't have a proper job.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I've got no mates, no future.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16I'm not exactly a good catch, am I?
0:21:27 > 0:21:32You don't understand. You see, when something like this happens...
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Something like what?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36The vase.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39The vase? The vase you threw at Hardwick?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Yes, the one I threw at Hardwick,
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Well?
0:21:46 > 0:21:47It moved.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Last night it was on the table.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56But this morning, it was on the stairs.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00It's not just the vase.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06The vase was last night, but there have been other occasions.
0:22:06 > 0:22:14Books moved from their shelves, food eaten, milk drunk out of the fridge.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17It's not in my mind.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21There's no-one living secretly in the attic and, as for ghosts...
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- How long has this been going on? - A few weeks.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28And it's not kids, it's not someone playing some kind of prank?
0:22:28 > 0:22:29How would they get in?
0:22:29 > 0:22:30Are you absolutely sure?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36A vase can't have a life of its own.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Eppur si muove.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Oh, yeah. And what does that mean?
0:22:41 > 0:22:42"Eppur si muove."
0:22:42 > 0:22:45It's what Galileo said when the Inquisition forced him
0:22:45 > 0:22:50to acknowledge that the Earth was the centre of the universe.
0:22:50 > 0:22:51"And yet...it moves."
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Right. Well, I don't know anything about that.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57But what I do know is a couple of CCTV cameras in your house
0:22:57 > 0:22:59would settle things once and for all.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00- CCTV.- Mm-hm.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04CCTV...
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Thank you.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13We have survived the lunchtime rush.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- You will be able to manage the rest of the afternoon by yourself, I think.- Yep.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Do not give up before you have even started.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26It is perfectly normal to have doubts.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28When you have been single for a long time,
0:23:28 > 0:23:31the thought of a new relationship can be very frightening.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Miss Hill is a lovely woman.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36She does not care about money.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Provided you are careful, I think she would be good for you.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46You always see the best in people, Mrs Tembe.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50It is always there. Sometimes it just needs encouragement!
0:23:50 > 0:23:52BELLS RING IN BACKGROUND
0:24:04 > 0:24:05About time.
0:24:09 > 0:24:14I'm not a monster, Hollins. If he wants to apologise and compensate
0:24:14 > 0:24:18me for my time and for personal injury, I'll happily let it slide.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Yeah, I'm sure you would.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21And...
0:24:21 > 0:24:25As I understand it there's a new requirement coming in
0:24:25 > 0:24:28that PIs have to have a proper licence.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Follow a professional code of conduct.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Encouraging an apparently delusional man into an expensive
0:24:34 > 0:24:36and unnecessary investigation.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Doesn't sound very professional to me.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Nice one.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Shall we let it slide?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01You never did have a sense of humour, Hollins.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Your new keys.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17All of them.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Thank you. I'm sorry about earlier.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22No worries.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28CCTV - that's a good idea.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Not my skill set, I'm afraid, but it's a good plan.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Maybe.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Put up the cameras. Then you'll know.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39What if it turns out it's all in my head?
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Well...then you'll know.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03And let us open the box!
0:26:05 > 0:26:08I'm thinking of getting a CCTV camera for home.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Which one should I get?
0:26:10 > 0:26:14OK, long answer, none of them. Short answer, also none of them.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Which one should I get!?
0:26:16 > 0:26:18I'm freeing you from unwanted calls.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20And stopping you from annoying everyone else.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21You mad bat!