More Like Clouds Than Stars

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0:00:28 > 0:00:31MUSIC: Fix You by Coldplay

0:00:31 > 0:00:33HE GROANS

0:00:34 > 0:00:37# When you get what you want

0:00:37 > 0:00:39# But not what you need

0:00:41 > 0:00:44# When you feel so tired

0:00:44 > 0:00:47# But you can't sleep... #

0:00:48 > 0:00:50GRUNTS

0:00:53 > 0:00:54EXHALES

0:00:59 > 0:01:01HUMS

0:01:01 > 0:01:03"What's up Mr Party Animal?"

0:01:03 > 0:01:05"Ducking and diving."

0:01:07 > 0:01:09"You?"

0:01:09 > 0:01:11TEXT ALERT

0:01:12 > 0:01:13"Thinking of you."

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Still got it!

0:01:20 > 0:01:21Morning.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Hi.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26I just heard this ridiculous rumour that the milk was fresh...

0:01:26 > 0:01:28I just had to see that for myself.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Rumours are true...

0:01:29 > 0:01:35Well... anywho, anywho, Donoghue... on a more serious note...

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Hey! Hey!

0:01:43 > 0:01:45- Oh, right... should I... go or something...?- No.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48- Later, OK? - Yes, later. We will, um...

0:01:49 > 0:01:52See that? See the effect I have on women?

0:01:52 > 0:01:55They just can't keep their hands off the Haskey.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58- We're losing our touch. - I'm not sure I ever had it.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Wazzup?!

0:02:00 > 0:02:03Not much, just considering our life of eternal bachelordom,

0:02:03 > 0:02:05but, apart from that, nothing.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Wazzup with you?- Can't you see it? It's written all over his face.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11Oh, yeah. No doubt something to do with women and pulling?

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Add "insanely hot" to "women", and you've nailed it.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18- My sympathies. - Just got to suck it up, mate.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Excuse me, I feel the sudden urge to leave.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23- Wise move. - That's touchy...

0:02:23 > 0:02:25TEXT ALERT

0:02:31 > 0:02:32HE EXHALES

0:02:32 > 0:02:33Hey, I got you...

0:02:35 > 0:02:36You're bleeding...

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Yes, I know, clumsy, but it's OK,

0:02:39 > 0:02:42- it's under control. Promise. - If you're sure...?

0:02:42 > 0:02:45Look, I was going to say, I got you this...

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Is that...? Um...?

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Yeah... was it the wrong thing to do?

0:02:51 > 0:02:54- I'll open it later. - Sorry, I thought...

0:02:54 > 0:02:55No, it's OK, it's OK.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01What is it?

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Why do you do your hair like that?

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Like what?

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Sorry, sorry... forget I said that...

0:03:07 > 0:03:09it's just...

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Are you not feeling any better?

0:03:11 > 0:03:14No... didn't sleep very well...!

0:03:15 > 0:03:19Do you mind, erm, do you mind walking yourself to school today?

0:03:19 > 0:03:22- I don't feel up to it. - Sure...

0:03:23 > 0:03:25If you want to talk about...

0:03:27 > 0:03:28- Bye, Dad. - Bye.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

0:03:47 > 0:03:48HE EXHALES

0:03:48 > 0:03:49TEXT ALERT

0:03:52 > 0:03:55You, er, planning on doing any work at any point today?

0:03:55 > 0:03:58Look... she's on her own and feeling lonely.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00That is very noble of you.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03But don't you have a patient...?

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Oh, yeah, be right with you.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08Erm, can you tell Mrs Tembe that I'm going to be a couple of hours?

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Yeah, yeah.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19OK, sorry to keep you waiting, Mr Rashid, this way.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21I knew that polished floor would make the bathroom an ice rink.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25SHE CHUCKLES So, why have it?

0:04:25 > 0:04:26- Wife's idea.- Ah.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28She liked it, you weren't going to argue?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Smart man.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Erm, so, have you had a headache since your fall?

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Any vomiting?

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Problems with balance?

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Sensitivity to light, sound?

0:04:39 > 0:04:40No.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Difficulty remembering?

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Erm, foggy thoughts...?

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Oh, try and keep still for me.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Have you noticed any change in your emotions?

0:04:51 > 0:04:55- Anxiety? Sadness?- No, not really.- Not really...?

0:04:55 > 0:04:59Well, I'm very stressed but that's because I'm working hard

0:04:59 > 0:05:02- on my book.- Uh, not getting enough sleep?- Yeah, something like that.

0:05:02 > 0:05:06- So, what's the book? - Erm, it's on Romantic poetry.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Oh, love poetry!

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Er, early 19th century... Shelley, Keats...

0:05:11 > 0:05:13that gang.

0:05:13 > 0:05:14SHE CHUCKLES

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Well, I can't see any signs of concussion but

0:05:17 > 0:05:20sometimes the symptoms can take hours, even days

0:05:20 > 0:05:23to appear so if you do notice any change in your vision,

0:05:23 > 0:05:25balance, anything like that,

0:05:25 > 0:05:27go to A & E immediately.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Immediately. OK?

0:05:29 > 0:05:31OK.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34You know, you should take a page out of one of these poetry

0:05:34 > 0:05:37books of yours - you know, "smell the roses, chill out".

0:05:37 > 0:05:40They don't put it quite like that, but I know what you mean.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42How do they put it?!

0:05:43 > 0:05:47I should drowse myself with the fume of poppies,

0:05:47 > 0:05:50fade far away, dissolve and quite forget.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Something like that.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Much better. Anyway, your wife will appreciate it, I'm sure.

0:05:59 > 0:06:00HE CHUCKLES

0:06:00 > 0:06:03KNOCKING Come in.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05I dug out the article you asked for.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07- Which one?- On ACL injuries.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Oh, OK, thanks.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Oh, how did it go with Oliver?

0:06:11 > 0:06:13- But it's your first appointment, right?- Well, yeah.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15It's too soon to jump to conclusions,

0:06:15 > 0:06:17and you need to find out what's going on.

0:06:17 > 0:06:18PHONE RINGS

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Sorry, I need to get this.

0:06:23 > 0:06:24Hello.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Stop being an old fogey, and get yourself over here.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29Listen, it's really mad here at the moment.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31But I'm going mad here from boredom.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Term hasn't started, no-one's around.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Just say that you've got to go check out some major new talent.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39I guess that's not too far from the truth.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Right. So...what are you waiting for?

0:06:42 > 0:06:46OK. I'll be there by 2.30.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50'I am the daughter of earth and water

0:06:50 > 0:06:52'And the nursling of the sky

0:06:52 > 0:06:56'I pass through the pores of the ocean and shores

0:06:56 > 0:06:58'I change but I cannot die.'

0:07:03 > 0:07:04Serena?

0:07:11 > 0:07:12HE SIGHS

0:07:13 > 0:07:14Luke?

0:07:16 > 0:07:20- What are you doing here? - I wanted an explanation.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22What have you done to your head?

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Oh... Blame the bathroom floor.

0:07:24 > 0:07:29- Are you all right? - Yeah, fine. Really. Back to you.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32Well, what did you mean by leaving Stella's things at my front door?

0:07:32 > 0:07:34That was completely bizarre.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36I explained in the note.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39I'm...I'm overwhelmed, OK?

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Stella needs you more than your books need you.

0:07:42 > 0:07:47She's been knocked sideways by what's happened, just as much as you have.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48She needs her dad.

0:07:49 > 0:07:53I know things must be awfully hard today, but

0:07:53 > 0:07:57- don't you want her around - today of all days?- No.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02No. I just can't be with her right now.

0:08:04 > 0:08:08It's disturbing to hear you talk about her like this.

0:08:08 > 0:08:09So cold.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11It's not like you.

0:08:12 > 0:08:17You realise she's told me more than once how strange you are around her?

0:08:17 > 0:08:19It's distressing her.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24- I don't know what she means. - Really?

0:08:24 > 0:08:27Look at you. You're washed out.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Please tell me you've seen someone.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32I don't need to see a shrink.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35But you can't have a conversation with your books.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39They don't listen to you, they don't care about you.

0:08:39 > 0:08:40That's not where the answers lie.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43OK, look, I've listened to what you've got to say,

0:08:43 > 0:08:45but this really...really isn't the place to talk.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47So I'll phone you later. OK?

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Please.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Just...just let me get on with things.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55Think about Stella.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57She has to come first.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05What are you doing here?

0:09:06 > 0:09:07I owe you an apology.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11Yes, you do. You should have told me what was going on.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13I'm so sorry, Oliver.

0:09:14 > 0:09:18I know it's not going to sound like much of an excuse, but

0:09:18 > 0:09:21I've never ended a relationship before.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23I've always been on the other side

0:09:23 > 0:09:27and I didn't really know how to do it.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Didn't know how to do it?

0:09:29 > 0:09:30Oh, come on. You can do better than that.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34- What you were really doing was keeping your options open.- I wasn't.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37I've been a mess worrying about how to tell you.

0:09:37 > 0:09:41No, I'm sorry, Niamh. I'm not having you play the victim here, all right?

0:09:41 > 0:09:43I'm the one who fell for you, remember?

0:09:43 > 0:09:46And you led me on while apparently being interested in someone else.

0:09:46 > 0:09:47It wasn't like that.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49And what makes it worse is that, incredibly,

0:09:49 > 0:09:50this someone else was Al.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54I mean, what could you possibly see in him?

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Just taking good manners into consideration,

0:09:57 > 0:09:59he was so rude to you last night.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01You're right.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03I was really hurt and I said so.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05So you broke up with him?

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Not quite.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08I don't believe this.

0:10:08 > 0:10:09But I'm going to.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Uh-huh. When?

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Today. When I get back.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Niamh...

0:10:17 > 0:10:18be straight with him.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21I will. I promise I will.

0:10:23 > 0:10:30Look, I don't particularly wish to humiliate myself even further,

0:10:30 > 0:10:34but since you're breaking up with him,

0:10:34 > 0:10:37does that...? Might that mean...?

0:10:37 > 0:10:40- Oliver.- Just...yes or no?

0:10:42 > 0:10:43No.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50At least you were straight for once.

0:11:01 > 0:11:02Heston?

0:11:04 > 0:11:08Oh...hello. I'm here to see Oliver about a patient.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12It's a very...tricky case.

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Are you all right?

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Me? Yes.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19Yes. Everything's better now.

0:11:21 > 0:11:22I'll see you later.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27'She dwells with beauty

0:11:27 > 0:11:29'Beauty that must die

0:11:29 > 0:11:32'And joy, whose hand is ever at his lips

0:11:32 > 0:11:33'Bidding adieu.'

0:12:01 > 0:12:05Well, I've given your psychosis theory some consideration.

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Good.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08And I've come to the conclusion

0:12:08 > 0:12:11that it's utterly implausible.

0:12:11 > 0:12:12Hm.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17As a doctor, who surely believes in

0:12:17 > 0:12:20carefully assessing all possibilities,

0:12:20 > 0:12:22don't you feel this is a bit premature?

0:12:22 > 0:12:23No.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26Have you considered you may be in denial?

0:12:26 > 0:12:28One absurd theory follows another.

0:12:28 > 0:12:35I'm perfectly aware of my decision-making process,

0:12:35 > 0:12:37which you fail to understand.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42I don't think anyone can be truly objective about their own decisions.

0:12:42 > 0:12:47However, since you're finding this all so absurd,

0:12:47 > 0:12:50- would you mind humouring me a little further?- In what way?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52By taking a brief questionnaire.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54What sort of questionnaire?

0:12:56 > 0:12:59That's not me in denial. I'm genuinely curious.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02It follows a familiar format, you know the kind of thing.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04I ask some straightforward questions and

0:13:04 > 0:13:08you answer by assigning a number from one to nine to each question.

0:13:08 > 0:13:12One being "I strongly disagree", nine being "I strongly agree".

0:13:14 > 0:13:16It's proven to give a highly accurate reading

0:13:16 > 0:13:18on denial and other neuroses.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21All right. Let's put this to bed once and for all.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Dad? Where are you going?

0:13:35 > 0:13:36Always tell me the truth.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Of course.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40Was it you? Outside the library just now?

0:13:42 > 0:13:45You promised me you wouldn't lie so I'm going to ask you again.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47Was it you outside the library?

0:13:47 > 0:13:49No.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52You're lying, Stella. Tell me the truth.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Tell me the truth. - I am! I am telling the truth.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just...not myself.

0:13:59 > 0:14:00What on earth are you doing?

0:14:00 > 0:14:04- I told her I'm sorry. - Well, it's not good enough.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06Your weird behaviour is traumatising her.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09You need to give her an explanation, and now.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Why did you leave my bag at Gran's, Dad?

0:14:12 > 0:14:15I don't understand what that means.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Well, are you going to tell her? - I said...

0:14:20 > 0:14:23I just need time to myself.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25How much time?

0:14:25 > 0:14:27How much time?

0:14:27 > 0:14:29I don't know.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33Luke, if you won't let us in, we can't help you.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36But I beg of you, go and talk to someone who can.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39I mean an expert, a professional.

0:14:39 > 0:14:40Please do it, Dad.

0:14:43 > 0:14:48Come on, Stella. Let's you and I go and do something fun this evening.

0:14:55 > 0:14:56Hola.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Well, talk about playing hard to get.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04Well, hello.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Thought we should pick up where we left off.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08Definitely.

0:15:08 > 0:15:09Vodka?

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Sure.

0:15:11 > 0:15:12I'd have put on some music

0:15:12 > 0:15:14but I didn't want to choose anything embarrassing.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16I'm sure you've got great taste.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22The Vaccines - now we're talking.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26- You know them?- Know them? I nearly signed them.- Really?

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Yeah. They were a bit raw back then so I didn't bother.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30- What're they like? - Good laugh, actually.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Got totally hammered this one time.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36Started off in a houseboat, took a spin on the Millennium Wheel,

0:15:36 > 0:15:38ended up in some dive in Soho.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Happy days.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47"Doctors never really understand what is wrong with me."

0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Is that one of the questions?- Mm.

0:15:51 > 0:15:52Are you trying to trick me?

0:15:52 > 0:15:56No. These questions may touch a nerve but they're not tricks.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58So what's your answer?

0:15:58 > 0:15:59Well, one, of course.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02- What is it?- So...

0:16:02 > 0:16:06your answer is, "I strongly disagree," to the statement,

0:16:06 > 0:16:09- "Doctors never really understand what is wrong with me."- Correct.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13OK. One it is.

0:16:16 > 0:16:17Hello.

0:16:20 > 0:16:21Have you got a moment?

0:16:21 > 0:16:25Yeah, I wanted to speak to you earlier, but you weren't here.

0:16:25 > 0:16:26I had to be somewhere.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Now you're back, I just...

0:16:28 > 0:16:32I need to apologise for last night.

0:16:32 > 0:16:36It's another disastrous date to add to that ever-growing pile...

0:16:39 > 0:16:40What is it?

0:16:40 > 0:16:44All this apologising, doesn't it tell you something?

0:16:44 > 0:16:48That my foot is considerably closer to my mouth than it ought to be.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Seriously. It's a sign that there's something wrong.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53This isn't working.

0:16:55 > 0:16:56This.

0:16:56 > 0:16:57Us.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01"I'm usually able to see the funny side

0:17:01 > 0:17:03"of an otherwise painful predicament."

0:17:03 > 0:17:06These questions get more ridiculous by the minute.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08- Do you want to stop?- No.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Then you'll say I'm in denial.

0:17:10 > 0:17:14I'm not going to let the test intimidate me. So put nine.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17So you strongly agree with the statement,

0:17:17 > 0:17:19"I'm usually able to see the funny side

0:17:19 > 0:17:21- "of an otherwise painful predicament."- Mm.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Maybe not right now but otherwise, yes.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29You seem tense.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31I'm not.

0:17:31 > 0:17:32And that's not denial.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40I'm sorry.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Well, I knew it was too good to be true.

0:17:45 > 0:17:46I was just kidding myself as usual.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48So was I.

0:17:49 > 0:17:53But I mean it when I say that, for a while there,

0:17:53 > 0:17:56I really thought it could go somewhere.

0:17:56 > 0:17:57And I really am sorry.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01It's OK.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04I'd have broken up with myself after last night.

0:18:04 > 0:18:05So no hard feelings?

0:18:05 > 0:18:08No. No hard feelings.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Thank you for being straight with me.

0:18:10 > 0:18:11SHE SIGHS

0:18:13 > 0:18:16You've a lot going for you, Al.

0:18:16 > 0:18:17I hope you know that.

0:18:19 > 0:18:20Too kind.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32OK, just take a seat and try to relax.

0:18:32 > 0:18:33Can I get you some water?

0:18:33 > 0:18:35No. Can't you just give me something

0:18:35 > 0:18:38so I can help get myself together, please?

0:18:38 > 0:18:41Well, I'm not a doctor so I can't prescribe the sort of drugs that

0:18:41 > 0:18:45you mean but this change of mood might be what I warned you about.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47I'll just go and fetch Dr Granger.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53Yeah, so I said to Lorde, I said, "Come on, love, don't you think

0:18:53 > 0:18:58"it's time you thought about having a new look? What about short hair?"

0:18:58 > 0:19:01Wow. What did she say?

0:19:01 > 0:19:05She was like, "Pixie cut, interesting idea. I'll think about it."

0:19:05 > 0:19:07It's crazy you know her.

0:19:07 > 0:19:11Yeah, it's a small world, the biz, when you're on the inside.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13- You hungry?- Ravenous.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16I haven't got that much. Just, like, peanut butter, crackers,

0:19:16 > 0:19:17- that kind of thing.- That's fine.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20Those business lunches, rich food - way over it.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23So...

0:19:23 > 0:19:25why Letherbridge? Why here?

0:19:25 > 0:19:27We'll, I've still got my pad in London but it gives me

0:19:27 > 0:19:29a much more central base.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32I can go up to Birmingham, down to Oxford.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36Means you can check out the talent, wherever, whenever, right?

0:19:36 > 0:19:39Yeah, I can find the best local talent.

0:19:41 > 0:19:42Found anyone local recently?

0:19:44 > 0:19:47- Yeah, I have, actually.- I thought so.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Mandy was saying you've become highly agitated

0:19:53 > 0:19:57- since she saw you this morning.- Yes.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00What do you think kicked that off?

0:20:00 > 0:20:03I thought I saw my wife and daughter outside the library.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05OK. And what's odd about that?

0:20:08 > 0:20:11As far as seeing my daughter's concerned, nothing.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13But seeing my wife...

0:20:14 > 0:20:15Yes?

0:20:16 > 0:20:18As for seeing my wife...

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Luke?

0:20:21 > 0:20:23She...

0:20:23 > 0:20:25She's passed away, hasn't she?

0:20:29 > 0:20:34Nine months ago, I woke up in bed and Serena was...

0:20:34 > 0:20:38They said it was instantaneous. Heart defect.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41I'm so sorry.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44You said you saw her today with your daughter?

0:20:44 > 0:20:48I was at the library window, they were outside,

0:20:48 > 0:20:51and then it was like they disappeared.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54- Anything like that ever happened before?- No.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57OK, well, there don't seem to be any physical signs

0:20:57 > 0:21:00indicating a concussion.

0:21:00 > 0:21:01So what's wrong with me?

0:21:01 > 0:21:04It could be stress related. Are you getting proper rest?

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Doesn't sound like it.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08What've you been doing?

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Burning a ton of midnight oil, I suppose.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13I'm researching and writing a book.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17Good for you. But possibly to avoid thinking about what happened?

0:21:17 > 0:21:18Maybe.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21Overwork and stress can make our minds play tricks on us.

0:21:21 > 0:21:25Still, any ideas why the hallucinations are happening today?

0:21:25 > 0:21:28It's our wedding anniversary.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30Right. That must be terribly hard.

0:21:30 > 0:21:35Still...facing up to things, talking about them, can be

0:21:35 > 0:21:37better in the long run than avoiding them.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Have you seen a counsellor or therapist?

0:21:39 > 0:21:41No, not yet.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43OK, well, I can highly recommend Oliver Clarke.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45He's helped a lot of people that I know.

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Reception can give you his number.

0:21:46 > 0:21:50And, please, seriously consider doing that.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52I'll leave you in Nurse Marquez's capable hands,

0:21:52 > 0:21:55and, once again, sorry to hear about everything.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57- Thank you, Doctor.- Thanks, Daniel.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03I hope you take his advice.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06And what about your daughter? Stella, isn't it?

0:22:06 > 0:22:07I mean, how's she coping?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12In the circumstances, she is coping very well.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14The problem is when I'm with her.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16What do you mean?

0:22:16 > 0:22:19It's like...she's a constant reminder of what I've lost.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21How come?

0:22:22 > 0:22:24She's the spitting image of my wife.

0:22:25 > 0:22:30Well, maybe you could see that as a wonderful thing.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32You know, your wife lives on.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34A part of her is always there.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36But that's the hard part.

0:22:37 > 0:22:42This is your daughter, Luke. You've got to focus on what you have

0:22:42 > 0:22:45and not what you've lost.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Make today a special day for her, eh?

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Hiya, Mum. It's me.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Well, you passed with flying colours.

0:23:22 > 0:23:26Excellent. So we can dismiss all this psychosis nonsense?

0:23:26 > 0:23:28- No.- Why not?

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Heston, I don't believe you answered the questions honestly.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34You just answered to pass the test.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Every time you should have answered with a one

0:23:36 > 0:23:39you answered with a nine, and vice versa.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42It seems to me such behaviour screams denial and neurosis.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43Well, that's absurd.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Hm, more like ironic.

0:23:45 > 0:23:46Ironic?

0:23:46 > 0:23:48That you're in denial about being in denial.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Losing your sense of humour is another sign.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55Well, this is no time for wisecracks.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57I'm not trying to make jokes at your expense.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00In fact, I'm hugely sympathetic to your situation.

0:24:00 > 0:24:01Really?

0:24:01 > 0:24:04Yes, I am well acquainted with denial, having recently gone

0:24:04 > 0:24:06through the trauma of divorce.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12I thought there was something at the core of my marriage

0:24:12 > 0:24:15that was unbreakable

0:24:15 > 0:24:17and to discover that that was not the case

0:24:17 > 0:24:19was impossible for me to grasp.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23So, for a long time, I denied it...vigorously.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28And, not content to stop there,

0:24:28 > 0:24:32I now seem to be denying to myself how unrealistic it is

0:24:32 > 0:24:36to project all my hopes for the future onto a woman I barely know.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39So...

0:24:39 > 0:24:42I regard myself as an Olympic champion of denial.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Which is why I know exactly what you're going through.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51Really, I do.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57I may owe you an apology.

0:25:03 > 0:25:07- I'm sorry.- Don't worry, Dad. I'm just glad to be back.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08HE CHUCKLES

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Hey, I've got a project for us.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23Chin up a little bit.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26Hold up your arm a bit. Brilliant.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28What are you up to, Dad?

0:25:28 > 0:25:30You'll see.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32HE CHUCKLES

0:25:32 > 0:25:33Brilliant.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39'I silently laugh at my own cenotaph

0:25:39 > 0:25:41'And out of the caverns of rain

0:25:41 > 0:25:43'Like a child from the womb

0:25:43 > 0:25:45'Like a ghost from a tomb

0:25:45 > 0:25:47'I arise and unbuild it again.'

0:25:55 > 0:25:59I want you to understand, denial is a very common reaction to

0:25:59 > 0:26:03a situation that's too painful to absorb.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06There's no shame in it.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10By the way, after your apology,

0:26:10 > 0:26:13I feel I should apologise to you for bringing my life

0:26:13 > 0:26:16into the consulting room. It was very unprofessional of me.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18No apology required.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21It may not follow the professional rule book but...

0:26:23 > 0:26:25..perhaps...

0:26:25 > 0:26:27Oh, I don't know.

0:26:29 > 0:26:30What?

0:26:32 > 0:26:36Certain things that happened to me I haven't properly...

0:26:38 > 0:26:40..processed...

0:26:42 > 0:26:43..taken on board.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Is this some sort of epiphany?

0:26:48 > 0:26:49I wouldn't call it that.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52But does that mean you're ready for another session?

0:26:57 > 0:26:58Well?

0:26:58 > 0:27:00Yes.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02That's probably a good idea.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09- You really like her, don't you? - Yeah.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12Don't look so scared. I'm really pleased for you.

0:27:12 > 0:27:15Let me help you. It's why you asked me to come.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17What are you doing in there?

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Just listen, OK? I'm hiding.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22- You don't think? - I don't know what to think!

0:27:23 > 0:27:24Wait a minute.

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Archie!

0:27:26 > 0:27:28- Arch... Archie! - HE SIGHS