0:00:55 > 0:00:56KNOCK ON DOOR
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Come in.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Ah, Dr Donaghue.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Mrs Tembe. About this PPG meeting.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13I have found Mr Bellamy's research.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Research?
0:01:14 > 0:01:17The Evolution of Patient Participation Groups
0:01:17 > 0:01:19in the Letherbridge Area.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22He has employed a four-hole hole punch.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Two holes can seriously compromise the entire file.
0:01:27 > 0:01:32Hole three is for the belt, hole four is for the braces.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37The thing is, I've slept on it
0:01:37 > 0:01:42and a lot of what you said made so much sense, but I feel...
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Are you OK?
0:01:47 > 0:01:50I've just been counting my blessings.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54I am very lucky to have such wonderful people to support me.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I am sorry, you said you slept on it?
0:01:59 > 0:02:01And I won't let you down.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Well, I'd better read this.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15PHONE RINGS
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Hey, you, are you checking up on your mum already?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Yes, I know it's a big day but I'm a big girl.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Tonight? I don't know, go to the chippy then over to the park
0:02:31 > 0:02:32and watch the fireworks.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Sound like a plan?
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Excellent!
0:02:35 > 0:02:37OK. Oh, tell your sister not...
0:02:46 > 0:02:48DANIEL: New colleagues are always an adjustment.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50They call her the earth mother.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51That's apt. Really?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55It sounds grubby and bizarre.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58She even claimed that...
0:02:58 > 0:03:00It's just too ridiculous.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04What is? She claimed that some women during childbirth
0:03:04 > 0:03:05experience a climax.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09What? Ruhma has? Personally?
0:03:09 > 0:03:13No, no, she's yet to thrust her own physicality into the conversation,
0:03:13 > 0:03:17but she is less reticent about her euphoric patients.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Well, I say give the woman a chance, Heston.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22From what I know of her she'll be a breath of fresh air.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26She's a mum, she's a midwife, she's not a grubby monster
0:03:26 > 0:03:27so don't build her into one.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I will have to call you back.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33I am not happy about this.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36How could they?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Who?
0:03:38 > 0:03:39The cleaning contractors.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41If they think they can pull the wool over my eyes
0:03:41 > 0:03:43they have another think coming.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45We have lost a dear friend
0:03:45 > 0:03:48and they are trying to profiteer from our grief.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50How?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52They are claiming that Mr Bellamy
0:03:52 > 0:03:57verbally agreed to an across the board price increase.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59The rob-dogs!
0:03:59 > 0:04:03Verbally agreed! No! A man who uses a four-hole hole punch.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Anyway, can I talk to you about zero tolerance?
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Oh, yes, yes, of course.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15You know that slimy medical rep from SwiftMediKit.com?
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Gideon Oliver? Slimy? No, he's always extremely polite.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22No, he's polite to you. But he's vile to the rest of us.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23He's always looking at your chest or your bum
0:04:23 > 0:04:25and trying to get you to talk about sex.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Well, I beg you, try to keep him away from Miss Pitman!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Zero tolerance?
0:04:31 > 0:04:35So, I wondered if it was all right if I could slap him.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Mrs Hollins,
0:04:41 > 0:04:46if Mr Oliver behaves in any way inappropriate...
0:04:46 > 0:04:47He will.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51I trust that you will deal with him.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Good. Whoa! Appropriately.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59You will keep your dignity at all times
0:04:59 > 0:05:02but you must absolutely not hit him.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05I want your word on this.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06KNOCK ON DOOR
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Oh, sorry for interrupting. We're going to have to postpone
0:05:09 > 0:05:12our session, Mrs Tembe. And Ruhma's in the staffroom.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14But...? Sorry, I've got to go. Back as soon as I can.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Wait, do I have it? What?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Your word. Yeah.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30It was an emergency C-section. In fact, my Uncle Phil was one of the
0:05:30 > 0:05:33first dads to be at one. They'd only just started epidurals
0:05:33 > 0:05:36for Caesareans back then. At the QE? Early '80s?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39And he loves telling that story to freak people out.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41He says "You know you're in trouble,
0:05:41 > 0:05:43"when the midwife put her wellies on!"
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Oh, Dr Carter!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47You're not scurrying away, are you? Not on my first day.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I forgot to put my tablet on charge.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Surely it can wait?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Drink, Dr Carter? Yes.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56You see, that's better. Nice cuppa.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Proper tea, proper coffee.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59We do our best.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03I bet you're a tea drinker, aren't you?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05OK, let's have a guess, Earl Grey?
0:06:06 > 0:06:11Too obvious. Oh, hang on - Lapsang Souchong.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Nice. I'm a Tetley girl myself. Oh, Mrs Tembe.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Sister Hanif, I am so sorry that I was not here to welcome you.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22We had an invoice fiasco.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24The cleaning contractors.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I have had this made for you.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Welcome to The Mill Health Centre. Thank you.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32The ancillary members of staff all wear name badges.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Then I will wear one too.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Well, I have to get on.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38I'll find you if I need you.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Well, now we all know who we are, if you need to
0:06:40 > 0:06:43talk to a senior member of staff, I'm at your disposal.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47As long as we all know who's a serf and who's the major-domo?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Oh! That is your evil plans notebook.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01It's just some notes for the PPG meeting.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03What's funny? No, no, nothing.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07The PPG is a terrific organisation - they give voice to patients
0:07:07 > 0:07:09and service users across our NHS.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Do you want to come? It could be fun. No way!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15I not going to waste my time with that bunch of crackpots.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Daniel, I don't suppose you
0:07:17 > 0:07:19want to come to the PPG meeting, eh, eh? No? OK.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24You'll be wanting someone to take the minutes.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I'm sure Ashley's organised secretarials.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Ha! Has he?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Hasn't he? Probably not.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31But never fear!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Peerless Pitman's secretarial back-up is in the building!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36I couldn't ask you to give up your lunch break.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38We'll take your car. OK.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Oi-oi. I do do more than just make tea, you know.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46I'm sure you do.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51You must be very important, you don't wear a name badge.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56It's a bit of a honeypot, this staffroom, isn't it, Dr Carter?
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Sometimes I like to work here.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01I've got to find time for my pilates classes.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I take cod liver oil myself.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Old school rocks(!)
0:08:05 > 0:08:07In fact, when I was a kid, my auntie got these two big pots
0:08:07 > 0:08:10of cod liver oil capsules from this bloke in the Bullring.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Huge, they were, and they never dissolved properly.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15My mum used to make me take one at breakfast, then it'd get stuck in my
0:08:15 > 0:08:17throat somewhere, and I'd still be having
0:08:17 > 0:08:19fishy burps at afternoon break.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20There's a lot more to old wives' tales
0:08:20 > 0:08:22than they would like us to believe.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25What do you think about that, Dr Carter?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I'm sorry, I've got work to do.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34I am appalled that they are seeking to profit in this way...
0:08:34 > 0:08:36BANGING
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I am certain they are lying about the price increase.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42BANGING CONTINUES
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Shall I? No, I will, er...
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Let me. Thank you.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Yes.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56They. Who is this "they" that she is so dismissive of?
0:08:56 > 0:09:00It's you and me. People with training and medical degrees.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Are we talking about Ruhma?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05She talks rubbish.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Am I the only one who sees that?
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Heston, she's experienced, she's competent and she's skilled.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Can I give you some advice?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Step away from aggravation,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19avoid all topics of disagreement, bite your tongue.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23This morning she called me the major-domo.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25That's not a compliment, is it? No.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Take the moral high ground, Heston. Climb up there, and keep the peace.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43Slap me if I'm putting my foot in it here, but you and Ashley, are you...?
0:09:44 > 0:09:48No matter how much water has gone under my bridge, Dr Donoghue,
0:09:48 > 0:09:50I remain supportive and afloat.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55Ashley may yet be a ship that passes in the night, admittedly
0:09:55 > 0:09:59a very long night, or he may still prove to be my sail mate.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Soul mate.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I was going for the nautical theme. Sure.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06So you're still together?
0:10:06 > 0:10:07SHE SIGHS
0:10:09 > 0:10:14I dragged sex out into the open in front of all of you the other night.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Sex may yet be the undoing of us all.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22Karen!
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Ah, Gideon. Would you like to come through?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Er... So, is, er...
0:10:38 > 0:10:42is Sister Hanif making an impression?
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Oh, yes.
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Er...
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Well, I am scheduled to attend my
0:10:49 > 0:10:51first networking event this afternoon.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Networking?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Uh, well, yes.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59Women in industry, commerce, arts, health, welfare.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03As I said, if there is going to be a problem...
0:11:03 > 0:11:05We are all grown-ups.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Sorry to say, but the cleaners are definitely cost cutting, you know.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16The consulting room used to smell lovely and fresh, but whatever
0:11:16 > 0:11:21they're using now is giving me a bit of an itch. Why, oh, why have I been given lined notepads?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I use squared. Everybody knows that. It's not difficult, is it?
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Mrs Tembe - sorry - Gideon Oliver's in the staffroom.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Karen made him cry.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30I thought you should know.
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Grown-ups.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35PHONE RINGS
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Best not face the beast without lubrication.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45The beast?
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Ha-ha, only joking.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Or am I?
0:11:55 > 0:12:02# Now there was a time when they used to say
0:12:02 > 0:12:06# That behind every great man
0:12:06 > 0:12:10# There had to be a great woman
0:12:10 > 0:12:15# But in these times of change you know that it's... #
0:12:15 > 0:12:20I called earlier. The correct title should be Acting Practice Manager.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24# Cos there's somethin' we forgot to say to you
0:12:24 > 0:12:28# Sisters are doin' it for themselves... #
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Please minute the chairman's request for apologies from those who
0:12:31 > 0:12:32cannot attend.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Today's guest medical. She's been briefed.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Thank you, Ashley.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43Hello.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48My name is Dr Niamh Donoghue and I'm an alcoholic.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50VALERIE LAUGHS
0:12:51 > 0:12:54That's a good one. Course she's not really an alcoholic.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56But hardly amusing if you are.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Hello! Sense of humour bypass!
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Is it, Mrs Nash?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03But please, do continue, Doctor.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07I think I'll sit down. Sorry.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Excuse me, have you been to many of these...?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Sorry, online auction. Right.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Hi, Penny Pearce. Last minute, no badge.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32That's Patricia Meer. She's way too successful for a badge.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34And you are?
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I'm mortified and this is awful
0:13:36 > 0:13:38but I've come out without cash, like the queen!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41They'll clamp me. Could you? Just a fiver.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I'll return it later. I couldn't find a cash point.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Yes, of course.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I thought parking would be free. Didn't you?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Where did you park, Winifred?
0:13:50 > 0:13:54I prefer Mrs Tembe. I came in a taxi.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Lifesaver!
0:13:58 > 0:14:0258, 59, 60!
0:14:02 > 0:14:07Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. An appropriate 60 seconds.
0:14:07 > 0:14:12A minute's silence in the memory of the Captain, a man we all miss.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16He was prompt and always immaculately turned out.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Few men could carry off that quiff.
0:14:19 > 0:14:24He was always across the literature, facts and figures sent out to him
0:14:24 > 0:14:25prior to a meeting.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Although it has to be said that Captain Bellamy was not a man
0:14:29 > 0:14:30without fault.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Iced midget gems and jammie dodgers?
0:14:34 > 0:14:38I wouldn't say he was greedy, but he certainly liked a lot.
0:14:39 > 0:14:44He never let statistics or research muddy his personal opinions.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46He could be very obstructive.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Obstructive? Oh, yes.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Howard's passing has presented the PPG, finally,
0:14:52 > 0:14:55with the opportunity it's been denied.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Proper patient steerage
0:14:57 > 0:15:00and the chance to embrace some important campaigns.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08My days! Not much of a turn out, is it?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11And I was worried I'd not get a seat.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14She is obviously more arts than commerce. Hello.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18I'll sit with you. It'll be kinder if we try to look like a crowd.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21I've just got to... That's fine, we'll wait.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23No, please, get started. OK, OK.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27You are?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Practice Manager. Practice, as in medical?
0:15:30 > 0:15:34Yes, two surgeries in Letherbridge. You know Miss Pearce already?
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Oh, you mean Penny? Least said, soonest mended in her case.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Like a little minty one?
0:15:43 > 0:15:44Thank you.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48So, what are we going to do to shake things up around here?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51It's your health service. What do you want?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53A doctor? Really?
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Who hasn't read the notes?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Shaking up potential by the boatload
0:15:58 > 0:16:00if only you'd read it, Dr Donoghue.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04It wasn't saved as a PDF, which made it murder to print out in A4.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I am going to address the elephant in the room.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Community Radio. Waiting area entertainment.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17It's my understanding that radio in waiting rooms has previously
0:16:17 > 0:16:18been ruled out.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Are you ruling it out? No.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24If there's data to read, I'll do that before I formulate an opinion.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Well, if Howard ruled it out, he must have had a good reason.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Dr Donoghue just told us she was going to shake things up
0:16:29 > 0:16:31and listen, Valerie.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34I hardly think I'm alone in hearing a coded message there.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I'll tell you what, Ashley,
0:16:36 > 0:16:40why don't I conduct a poll amongst a dozen of my patients,
0:16:40 > 0:16:43selected at random and get the lie of the land?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I could look into licences.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Obstructive!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50OK, I think you'll find we're actually being the opposite, OK?
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Anyone any good with presentation equipment?
0:16:58 > 0:17:02I shall go and look for someone. Sorry about this.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06At least there's wine!
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Lunchtime limit of one, but a large one, eh?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11I would prefer something soft.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13I'll go and see what they've got.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Don't think you can intimidate me with your business suit
0:17:30 > 0:17:32and your killer heels.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34I don't want any trouble. I'm here to network.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Of course you are.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43So, what's the next item on your agenda, Ashley?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48My proposal.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52An outright ban on artificial planting in any medical environment.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Why? Because your mother has a plastic aspidistra?
0:17:55 > 0:18:00Synthetic plants are dust collectors and there is a link between dust
0:18:00 > 0:18:04and methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05MRSA to you.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Thunder stealer! I told you that.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13All right, so you're not a plant person?
0:18:13 > 0:18:18I am. I just wasn't expecting a gift.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Joe helped pot up the baby ones, so I thought it'd be appropriate.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Thank you. Hang in there, OK? It'll be worth it.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29I will. Do you know what this plant's going to be? Fecund.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Really? Fecund, it's a really good word.
0:18:32 > 0:18:37As is major-domo. See ya. See you.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44I am sorry when you said,
0:18:44 > 0:18:48"Least said, soonest mended," what did you mean?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Do you know who that dark-haired woman is?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Yes. That is Patricia Meer.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Patricia Meer is senior partner at Goodwin, Meer and Meer.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Who knows what that Pearce woman is saying about me?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07What makes you think she's saying anything?
0:19:07 > 0:19:10She stole from me. There, I've said it.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12That is a very grave accusation.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Call the slander police if you want to.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17But never trust that woman with a red cent.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I have just loaned her money for parking.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Well, you can kiss goodbye to that.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27No! Yes! She swindled me.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Hidden charges, sudden increases, invoices for things
0:19:31 > 0:19:33I hadn't even had.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I know what that is like. That is awful.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Yes, it is!
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Any further questions?
0:19:40 > 0:19:44Do you not think your methodology is somewhat underhanded?
0:19:44 > 0:19:46No.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50If a surgery's published opening time is 8.30,
0:19:50 > 0:19:53the surgery's phone should be answered at 8.30.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Promptly, by a person.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58The Mill Health Centre's record?
0:19:58 > 0:20:02Their phone went to answer machine at 8.34 and beyond
0:20:02 > 0:20:04three times in the last week.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09As you well know, Ashley, surgeries are swamped at opening times.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Forest View and North Street consistently perform better.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15You've been checking up on me.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19There, there, Valerie. You really mustn't take it personally.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23You can't possibly believe I'd launder our relationship
0:20:23 > 0:20:24linen in PPG public?
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Complete failure of a day. I'm so sorry.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Some people have managed to network.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Yes, and we'll definitely meet again.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42That is not likely. No, it is, because...
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I have spent my morning battling with unscrupulous,
0:20:46 > 0:20:50deceitful suppliers. Sadly, there are people like that everywhere.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53We need to meet again, so I can give you your money back.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57From what I have heard, that is also unlikely to happen.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00You'll get your money back, whatever you've heard.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Hang on. We're supposed to be women supporting each other here.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07That's what I thought. How stupid am I?
0:21:07 > 0:21:08You need to tell me what's going on.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10And you need to tell me exactly what you've heard?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12I have had a conversation.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14With her. Look at her.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17So pleased with herself, so good at spreading poison.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Miss Wimpole feels cheated, financially.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23What? She does? Unbelievable!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26She's the one who's put my company in jeopardy.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Oh, I'm sorry, I do not understand?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Bad debts knacker small companies like mine.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35I need to find work for my people, so here I am, dressed up,
0:21:35 > 0:21:41which I hate. Forcing myself to network, only, for what?
0:21:41 > 0:21:45So that devious, unscrupulous cow can tell lies about me.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47And you believed her.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Well, you're wrong, and I'm going to prove it to you.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Oh, you found my placenta.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Are you out of your mind? What?
0:22:06 > 0:22:10It's full of proteins, nutrients and, oh, it is delicious!
0:22:10 > 0:22:13You have to try my placenta stroganoff.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Mwah! You would be an instant convert.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Placenta stroganoff? Yeah.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Do us a favour, though, bung it back in the fridge
0:22:20 > 0:22:22cos it really does turn quickly.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I tell you what I'm going to do, I'll send you a link
0:22:24 > 0:22:27cos there are loads of postpartum recipes online.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Oh! Or just put it in a smoothie, Heston,
0:22:30 > 0:22:32you don't even have to cook it!
0:22:36 > 0:22:41So, does anyone have anything else they'd like to say at the meeting?
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Anything at all?
0:22:45 > 0:22:48OK, in that case, I think we should call this meeting to a close.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52Seconded! I don't think Captain Bellamy... Ashley!
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Enough with the Howard card already.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Shall we? Well, honestly!
0:23:04 > 0:23:08At first I thought she was just scatter-brained, a bad payer.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Our terms are 30 days, she went to 60, then 90,
0:23:11 > 0:23:15then she sent in a list of complaints - all lies.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Can you not get your goods back? We're contract cleaners.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21How much?
0:23:21 > 0:23:22Best part of seven grand.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Well, it fits the remit of the Small Claims Court.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Court? I don't know... Did you do a good job?
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Yes. Did you do everything you invoiced her company for?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Of course. Until you have been paid for your services,
0:23:37 > 0:23:39you have not done business with this woman.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42It is time to put your shoes on and fight.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Patricia, sorry, let me explain.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47This should be priceless.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49It was another events manager called Naomi.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I wasn't talking about your sister Naomi.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Really? It's just a mix-up.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56You accused my sister of sleeping her way to the top.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59But I can still pitch... Are you mad?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02You are a great, big, dirty liar.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05You are never, never going to work for me.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09Oh, and while I'm at it, what's with this ridiculous hippy vibe?
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Bad day?
0:24:15 > 0:24:19Watch it get worse - I'm taking you to court.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Oh, we have been networking.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Ohh!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32You do know there's more than 50 percent
0:24:32 > 0:24:35of your daily salt allowance in that.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36I don't care.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Bad PPG? Not so much as an iced midget gem.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Ooh, that's, er...not good.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Talking about iced midget gems, where is there to eat around here?
0:24:47 > 0:24:50Well, there's The Icon. We should go there for lunch some time.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Fine, you're on.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53So, how bad was this meeting?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Well, I had to shut down some pompous eejit.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Ah. How's your first day?
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Oh, you know, I had to, er... shut down some pompous eejit.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Right.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09And look! You could grow potatoes in it.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Mrs Hollins, please.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I'm just saying!
0:25:13 > 0:25:14I'm going to wash my hands now.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17Nice hair.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22So, is this contract something you would like to tender for?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Absolutely. Well, if your quote is acceptable,
0:25:24 > 0:25:27we will do a trial period. Of course.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30And payment will be according to your terms and conditions.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33That reminds me.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Here. Thank you.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Human placenta...
0:25:42 > 0:25:44for placenta stroganoff.
0:25:49 > 0:25:54Er, actually, Zara was into all this. She made a sauce out of hers.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Oh, smooth?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Silky smooth, yeah. What?!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Sorry, how is this funny? It's disgusting!
0:26:04 > 0:26:06It's chicken liver. For pate.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Chicken liver pate.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11THEY LAUGH
0:26:16 > 0:26:19If you've got nothing nice to say, then best say nothing.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21I thought age might have toughened you up a bit.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Could you do a pregnancy test?
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Urine sample. Mine.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27'You fancy her, don't you?'
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Fancy her? Hardly an appropriate word for people of our age.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34You speak for yourself, mate.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35It must be somebody else's.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38How dare you suggest that I've been unfaithful?!
0:27:09 > 0:27:13# There's nothing you can do that can't be done
0:27:13 > 0:27:17# Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
0:27:17 > 0:27:19# It's easy