0:00:26 > 0:00:28MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Michael?!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42You barm cake!
0:00:42 > 0:00:45You're going to clean out the caravan today, of all days?
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Because it's not winter yet and it's your birthday!
0:00:49 > 0:00:53Well, I've got to nip into work for this interview, so wish me luck.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Dad, when I come over later, you'd better have your feet up!
0:01:06 > 0:01:07SHE SIGHS
0:01:10 > 0:01:12The fence is fine.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14- The garden gate's still locked. - I know what I saw.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16I don't see how he could have got in.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18He was there!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Look at me, I'm shaking!
0:01:28 > 0:01:29It's him again. I know it is.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34I just think we need to slow down.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Look, you've been under a lot of stress
0:01:37 > 0:01:39and it's starting to take its toll.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44I'm just saying, see someone.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45A doctor.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Something to tide you over, calm you down a bit.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Thank you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02KNOCK AT DOOR You ready?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Yeah, as I'll ever be.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07SHE EXHALES
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Well, your blood pressure's fine.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13That's a relief. My heart was pounding!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16You do seem a little anxious.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19One minute, I'm fine, the next, I'm all over the place.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Yeah, I know that feeling.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Um...I see from your notes that you've suffered from anxiety before.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29Look, I was hoping you could give me those pills again.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Rather than a short-term fix,
0:02:30 > 0:02:33there may be better ways to help you manage that stress.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I could talk you through some relaxation...
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- I didn't come here for a lecture.- No.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Especially not from someone that knows nothing about my life.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42OK. Um...
0:02:44 > 0:02:47So...why don't you tell me?
0:02:47 > 0:02:49You wouldn't understand.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53You won't know until you try.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55I'm a good listener.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Be a first.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01My husband, Michael, he's at his wit's end with all of this.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I am the victim of a stalker.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Ten years, it's been going on.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09That's...that's terrible.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12When he finally went to prison, I thought that was the end of it.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14It's started again?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16He was released three months ago
0:03:16 > 0:03:19and I've seen him several times since then.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- You've spoken to the police? - I've tried.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Well, my colleague's married to a policeman.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26- I can call him, if you like. - No, don't.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28- He's a great guy. I'm sure... - I shouldn't have told you.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Could I just get the prescription? I really need to go.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35- Like I said, if we could talk about that first...- Forget it!
0:03:40 > 0:03:42The training I've had so far,
0:03:42 > 0:03:45the breadth of work the company does is second to none.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48I pick things up quickly, I like working with other people,
0:03:48 > 0:03:49sharing ideas.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52If I go for something, I'm totally committed.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Any weaknesses?- Weaknesses?
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Er...well, I guess what I've just said makes me sound stubborn,
0:03:58 > 0:04:01but sometimes you have to be tunnel vision.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Right now, I just...I want to focus on my career
0:04:03 > 0:04:06and not get distracted by other stuff.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13She gave me the impression the police didn't want to help.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15But you don't know that for sure?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18No. Well, I could ask Rob, find out what's going on?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Have you got your patient's permission for that?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23No. In fact, she kind of freaked out when I mentioned it.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- There's your answer. - I can't just do nothing!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28You won't get very far without her co-operation, trust me.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I'm at the usual place.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35See you in a minute.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43SHE SIGHS
0:04:44 > 0:04:46BIRDSONG
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Laura? Laura! Laura! It's me! What's happened?
0:05:02 > 0:05:04SHE BREATHES HARD
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Heston?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Oh! I didn't see you there.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26That's a lovely dress.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27This old thing?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Well, you ready for some Rigoletto?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31It's like going out with David Niven!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- SHE CHUCKLES - Well...
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Common courtesy never goes out of style.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37There's nothing common about you, Heston.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39That way.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- Who are you calling?- The police.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- What?!- Just wait a second.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Tell me what you saw. What happened? - It was him!
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Are you sure about that? - He was on the bridge!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I need you to look me in the eye, tell me you believe me!
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Michael?!
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Let's not do this now, OK?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Laura, how many times have we called the police
0:06:02 > 0:06:05and how many times have they come up with nothing?
0:06:05 > 0:06:06He's smart. He knows not to get caught!
0:06:06 > 0:06:09People don't just vanish into thin air!
0:06:09 > 0:06:10You're wrong!
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- It's weird. - I know, black tie at a matinee.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Heston, please climb down from your ivory tower.
0:06:22 > 0:06:23I wasn't aware I was in one.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Opera tickets alone are out of reach for most people.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Opera's done more than most to make itself accessible.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Outreach projects,
0:06:31 > 0:06:33student tickets, cheap standbys.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Do you think that makes a difference to the average Joe?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39I'm sure the average Aston Villa fan pays more for his season ticket.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- I didn't know you were a fan of the Villains?- The what?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Ah, right, here we are. After you.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51There we go.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56You think I'm imagining it?
0:06:58 > 0:07:02Every second of every day, I remember what that man did to you.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05The way you had to live, the constant fear.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06We had to live.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09When you were out, I phoned our solicitor.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12She told me that Adrian's in Scotland now.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Oh, so, I'm safe now? You're that naive?
0:07:14 > 0:07:17He's on licence, he sees his probation officer regularly.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21As far as they're aware, he's never ventured more than a few miles away from his home.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22I know what I saw.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24You have to try and let it go.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27What if I can't?
0:07:29 > 0:07:30What?
0:07:32 > 0:07:36It's been two and a half years now since he went to prison.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38We started making plans, talked about having a family.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40- I still want those things.- Do you?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Because I see two futures.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44One where we allow him to wreck our lives and one where we don't!
0:07:44 > 0:07:46It's not my choice!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Then you have to let it go.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51Help me!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56What did the doctor say?
0:07:58 > 0:07:59- I walked out.- Huh!
0:08:01 > 0:08:03You want help?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Then I suggest you go back.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- Can I help you?- Amelia?- Yeah.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17I'm...I'm Emma. Howard's girlfriend.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19What do you want?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23To meet you.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I wanted to talk to you.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Well, now you have. - Please. I've come a long way.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Surely you can spare five minutes.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Aren't you the tiniest bit curious about your father?
0:08:38 > 0:08:39So, what did you think of the first act?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41I thought it was amazing.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Live opera, it beats internet hands down.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46And the singing, superb!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Isn't it!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55And I thought the pared-down, modern-day staging worked a treat.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Oh, I'm not so sure.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00I've got a feeling you'll give me the benefit of your experience.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02I would have preferred more opulence.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05The sense of immorality of the Duke's court.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I mean, Verdi was attacking the aristocracy.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11You and him would have got on like a house on fire.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I mean, his impassioned plea on behalf of the boy,
0:09:13 > 0:09:16it proves my point. Opera is not just for the upper classes.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Heston, look around.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20How many normal, working people do you see here today?
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Well, you shouldn't make assumptions.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26People will look at you and me and jump to the wrong conclusions.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28What do you mean by that?
0:09:28 > 0:09:33Well, that, you know, that we're two people who enjoy similar interests.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42You have a beautiful home.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It's a lot tidier than mine.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46But then, um...I blame my lodgers.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Did you and he not live together?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51I thought, with you being his girlfriend...
0:09:51 > 0:09:54No. We hadn't been back together that long.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59So, how did you find me?
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I had to sweet-talk Howard's solicitor.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Howard had your mum's address, but not yours.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09And, um...it was he who told me that you're an accountant.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Trainee.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Why are you smiling?
0:10:14 > 0:10:18Well, I was just marvelling at the power of nature over nurture.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Come again?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Howard would have been so proud.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Oh! Do you think I give a monkey's?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- I-I'm sorry, I just meant...- What?
0:10:27 > 0:10:31You think I should care about a man who left me without a second glance?
0:10:31 > 0:10:32It wasn't that simple.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- Well, you found me easily enough. - Please, let me explain.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Just say what you've got to say and then leave.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40AMELIA SIGHS
0:10:40 > 0:10:43I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off on one before.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46You were only trying to help.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48- It's OK. - The police have done the usual stuff.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Checked CCTV, spoke to neighbours. They just haven't found anything.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55If he's been doing this ten years, presumably, he knows a few tricks.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58I've got so many questions.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Maybe Michael's right and this guy's in Scotland.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02In which case, I don't know what to think.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06What's important now is that you're safe. OK?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Let's do a few routine health checks.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13How would you describe your general state of health?
0:11:13 > 0:11:14All right.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Any headaches, migraines at all?
0:11:17 > 0:11:18How much would you say you drink?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20A few glasses, I suppose.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Any drugs?- No.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Um...you said you had trouble sleeping?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Quite a lot, yeah.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Irritability, or mood swings? - Sometimes.
0:11:30 > 0:11:35OK. You mentioned before about the anxiety.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Would you say at any point you felt depressed at all?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40What do you think?
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Well, yeah, um...after what you've been through,
0:11:44 > 0:11:46I..I suppose that's pretty natural.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48So, why are you asking?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Like I said, it's just a routine check.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54You're like Michael. You think it's all in my head.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56I faced that man in court.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58A man who'd sent me to hell and back.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01And I made a vow then that I wouldn't be his victim again.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03So I know what I saw!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Is everything all right?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Not again?!
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Wait! Please!
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I'm not trying to catch you out, I'm just trying to understand!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- Don't you want this to stop? - Of course I do!
0:12:24 > 0:12:25So work with me.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Right now, I'm fishing in the dark.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Thank you.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37So, what do you see?
0:12:37 > 0:12:42Are we talking literally, or are we talking metaphorically?
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Both. I need to get my eye in by the weekend.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Well, your eye for the ladies has always been in.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49THEY CHUCKLE
0:12:49 > 0:12:51No, I'm doing a residential photography course.
0:12:51 > 0:12:56Oh. Well, in that case, my eye is drawn to the dark,
0:12:56 > 0:12:58verdurous hue of the leaves over there.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Verdurous?
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Yeah. To be honest, I can't stop staring at
0:13:02 > 0:13:05this empty packet of crisps. I missed my lunch today.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07OK. So if I buy us some sandwiches,
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- will you take a look at what I've shot so far?- Yeah, sure.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12As long as I can make obnoxious comments about
0:13:12 > 0:13:14the subaqueous quality of the light in your work.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17How the multitudinous scene's incarnadine.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19We're talking about a couple of self-portraits.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Yeah. Photoshop can fix anything.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- No, no, I want them to look natural. - Yeah, buy me lunch first.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Thank you.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36AMELIA SIGHS
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Howard and your mum, they, um...
0:13:42 > 0:13:44..they weren't in a serious relationship.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Serious enough for her to get pregnant.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Yeah, but by the time he found out, he was back in Germany.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50That was his excuse.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53No, look, the Army don't let you choose about that kind of thing.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56And by the time he got home and realised that she'd kept you...
0:13:56 > 0:13:58What, he didn't know?
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Mum told me that she wrote to him.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Right.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Well, I'm sure that Howard...
0:14:06 > 0:14:08As far as he was concerned, she could have just aborted me.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Howard gave you and your mum everything you needed.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15He never shirked his responsibility.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17But when your mum met...
0:14:17 > 0:14:18What, you mean my dad?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21You thought I'd give that title to him?!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23A man I don't even remember?!
0:14:29 > 0:14:31You see, Verdi's genius...
0:14:31 > 0:14:32- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34..is in making the Duke seductive.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Seductive?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38A man who deflowers Gilda
0:14:38 > 0:14:41and then hops into bed with a string of married women?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44I'm not condoning him, of course.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Ah! Or did a young Heston Carter
0:14:47 > 0:14:49leave a trail of broken hearts?
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Or were you like, um...Gilda? Aw!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55I see her ultimately as rather noble.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Huh! A woman who sacrifices herself for a cad?
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Well, she's...seeking martyrdom.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Mm. I think there's a lot to be said for staying single.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Well, yes, I have to agree with you there.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09The freedom to live life as one pleases.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Heston, some of us have got kids.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Yes, but you're able to come on a trip like this.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Yeah. Because funny enough, my kids didn't fancy
0:15:17 > 0:15:19three hours at the opera this afternoon.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22You have the freedom not to answer to anyone else.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- OK, I'll drink to that. Cheers. - Cheers.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29I've, um...left her with Karen for a moment. Sure you don't mind?
0:15:29 > 0:15:32No. I love a challenge. So, where are you heading with this?
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Well, er...my first starting point was psychosis.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37All right, so you're looking at disturbed thoughts,
0:15:37 > 0:15:40lack of insight, self-awareness.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43But apart from seeing this man, she's all there.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Totally clear in her mind about what's happening.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- What else have you ruled out? - Delirium.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Otherwise, she'd have abnormal vital signs, look sweaty, be sick.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Which leaves?
0:15:52 > 0:15:53- Um...- Which leaves?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Post-traumatic stress.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59She could be reliving the traumatic event in her mind.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01I think you're on the right path, young man.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Cheers, Al.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Your dad was there all the time.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16Howard's visits were infrequent because of his job.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18And when the adoption went through...
0:16:18 > 0:16:19He was free.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23He thought he was doing the right thing by stepping aside.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- For who?- Everyone. - Why did you come here today?
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Because I thought you were owed an explanation.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34So now he's dead, he has the right to intrude on my life?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I had hoped that you would've thought of him more kindly.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Nothing you've told me explains
0:16:38 > 0:16:40why he never got in touch all these years.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Amelia, I'm going to be honest with you,
0:16:43 > 0:16:44I don't know the answer to that.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Maybe the longer it went on, the harder it got.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Or he just didn't care.- No!
0:16:51 > 0:16:52That's not true.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56He never stopped thinking about you. I do know that.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Maybe.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Have you experienced any recurrent, involuntary memories of the event?
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Sorry?- Nightmares or flashbacks?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13No, this is too real, too vivid to be some flashback.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18How about persistent feelings of horror, anger or guilt?
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Let me paint a picture of the last ten years
0:17:21 > 0:17:23and then maybe you'll understand.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I used to have a great job in the City.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28A job that I loved, until Adrian became my boss.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31At first, it was just flirting. I felt I could laugh it off.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34But then he asked me out.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35You turned him down?
0:17:35 > 0:17:39And then he made it his mission to make my life hell.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41He was calling all through the night,
0:17:41 > 0:17:43sitting outside my flat for days on end.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45It got so that I was scared to go out.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49So, yeah, I've felt pretty horrified, pretty angry!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- Sure.- And guilty, too.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Because he messed up Michael's life, not just mine.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58We had to keep moving house, leaving family, jobs.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01So if you think that after all that, I would let this man in my head...
0:18:01 > 0:18:02I believe you.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04What?
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- I may not understand it, but... - Thank you.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11But I would still like to give that police friend of mine a call.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13See what he can do.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Yeah?
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- Laura?- He's out there!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25The stalker?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29I have to know. He can't keep doing this to me!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38There!
0:18:40 > 0:18:41You can see him?
0:18:44 > 0:18:45OK, keep looking!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Now, without moving your head,
0:18:47 > 0:18:51look from left to right about once every second.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Why? How's that going to help?
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Just do it for me, please.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Keep looking.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01That's good. Keep looking.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03OK. Now, stop.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Now, if you wouldn't mind, take another look.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Can you see him?
0:19:09 > 0:19:11No!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I don't understand.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Um...tell me about your eyesight.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- What's that got to do with...? - How bad it is?
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Well, you find ways of coping.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I've some sight loss from the corner of my eyes.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24I had to stop driving at night.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26You never thought to get it checked out?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Well, it's only recently that it's got a lot worse.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31And to be honest, it felt like the least of my problems.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Could you cover one eye for me, please? Thank you.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39OK, now tell me when this comes into vision, OK?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Now.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45And again.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Now.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50OK. And, um...the other eye's the same?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Do you mind if I take a look? Thank you.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Do you have any history of eye disease in your family?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01My mum always complained she had terrible sight.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Was she ever diagnosed?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05She never got the chance. Died of cancer.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08I'm sorry.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I don't understand. Why are we talking about my eyes?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Oh, um...well,
0:20:13 > 0:20:17I think you might have something called Charles Bonnet syndrome.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19It's usually a lot more common in older people,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22but I think it might explain what's happening.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24When you lose your sight, your brain
0:20:24 > 0:20:27isn't receiving as much information from the eyes as it's used to.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31And it can sometimes fill in those gaps with fantasy pictures,
0:20:31 > 0:20:34or patterns, or old images that it has stored.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38- You mean, he's not really there?- No.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40And I think you, and most probably your mum,
0:20:40 > 0:20:44have a genetic eye condition called retinitis pigmentosa.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47And the CBS is a manifestation of that.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Can you make it stop?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Unfortunately, no. There is no cure.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57But sometimes the symptoms do lessen over time as the brain adjusts.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59So, I'm going to keep seeing him?
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Well, um...things like this exercise that we just did, they can help.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05And I'm going to refer you to an ophthalmologist.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07They'll give you a much more definitive diagnosis
0:21:07 > 0:21:09and offer advice.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13It's a lot to take in, I know.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Just to feel free of that man,
0:21:16 > 0:21:19you've no idea how happy that makes me.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22For a moment, I thought Michael was right.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24That I was really going mad.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Howard was old-school.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34He had the kind of values that you would say are probably outdated.
0:21:36 > 0:21:41But the fact that he held on to them, it made him even more remarkable.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Yeah?
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Yeah.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Hmm. We'd huff and puff at work
0:21:46 > 0:21:50about his various harebrained schemes but...
0:21:53 > 0:21:54..we loved him
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Colleagues, patients...
0:22:00 > 0:22:02He'd have done anything for anybody
0:22:02 > 0:22:04and he never took advantage.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08In his spare time, he was a Special Police Constable.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12He never forgot the people that he fought with either.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16He always supported ex-servicemen and women.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Regular saint.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22If you'd been at the funeral,
0:22:22 > 0:22:25you would have seen just how many lives he touched.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27I'm not blaming you.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I know I'm painting a glowing picture.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34He had his demons.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39He suffered with huge guilt about leaving you.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43He knew he'd made a massive mistake.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Mistake?
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- Bravo! Bravo! - Exceptional. - SUSTAINED APPLAUSE
0:22:51 > 0:22:53It was amazing, it was the best!
0:22:53 > 0:22:55I thought you didn't like the Duke?
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I don't. I'm cheering for Gilda! Whoo!
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Well, actually, it's "brava" for a woman.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Well, whatever. The point is, she stole the show.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08I thought he did a marvellous rendition of La Donna E Mobile.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10It wasn't bad but she's got real range -
0:23:10 > 0:23:12that mix of innocence and sadness....
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Ooh!
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Her Caro Nome was a bit shrill.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- He was outright hammy. - Quite wooden.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Yeah. Not a patch on Pavarotti. Whoo!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25OK, I admit I started thinking all sorts of things.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27All sorts of what?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Don't make me spell it out.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30The point is, we can put this behind us
0:23:30 > 0:23:32and start moving on with our lives.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35That doctor, someone I'd never met, had more faith in me than you.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- You can't compare me... - You're my husband.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- Look, I was wrong... - Instead of helping me through it, you gave me an ultimatum.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Yes. Only because I couldn't bear the thought of going through all that again.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Is that so selfish, so wrong?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49No.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Ten years we've been a slave to this thing.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Ten years I've stuck by you, when most other men would have just...
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say...
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I'm going to my dad's for a few days, take some time to think.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04About how to deal with my eyes, all of this...
0:24:04 > 0:24:06You don't have to do that.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Yes, Michael, I do.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Look, whatever you think of him,
0:24:13 > 0:24:16please don't turn your back on the money he left you.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Oh, yeah. I forgot. The fact that he squirreled away some cash makes it OK.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21No, it's just that
0:24:21 > 0:24:25the lion's share of his estate is yours
0:24:25 > 0:24:27and it's a life-changing sum.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I've told you, I don't want it.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32If you don't take it, you might not get another chance.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- Why do you care? - Because it's what Howard wanted.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Or, maybe, you need to convince yourself he was something he wasn't?
0:24:37 > 0:24:40You knew Howard a long time, right?
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Yes.- Yeah. So when did he first tell you about me?
0:24:45 > 0:24:48See? I was his guilty secret.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51He was ashamed.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Yeah, of me.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Of the child he couldn't wait to walk away from.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57The child he didn't want.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00No... It wasn't like that.
0:25:04 > 0:25:09A tangled tale of jealousy and rage, it's not unlike today's soaps.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Have you seen any?
0:25:11 > 0:25:12Yes.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Right... Um...
0:25:14 > 0:25:16I better get going I've got a shift to get to.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18I thought you'd taken the day off?
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Some of us have to work for a living.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Well, let me give you a lift. - No, I'm going to get a bus.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24No. I won't hear of it.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- People do get buses. - Well, of course.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30If it horrifies you, I'll splash out, get a cab.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31Let me pay.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33No, it's fine. I'll manage.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Speaking of which, here's the one I booked.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40Thank you.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Right, yeah, I mean...
0:25:51 > 0:25:53of course I had considered Charles Bonnet syndrome.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57I was just giving you space to come up with that conclusion.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Right.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00It's all part of the service.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02You can thank me with a pint later.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I'm going out with Ayesha.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06You've got time for a quick one. Jimmi's going to come, too.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- I suppose... - Having said that, strike that.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Some people just can't take a joke.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13I'm not following...
0:26:13 > 0:26:17Well, I altered one of Jimmi's photographs
0:26:17 > 0:26:18and sent it back to him.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20I don't see what the problem is.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22You've certainly showed him in a different light.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Imagine the devilish things we can get up to after a couple of pints.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27I can only stay for a quick one.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Oh, yeah. They'll be quick ones.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34I thought coming here would be a good thing,
0:26:36 > 0:26:38I'm sorry I didn't realise that you felt so strongly.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Well, now you know.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Amelia, I don't want to leave things like this.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Just go, will you? - Please. It's just so sad.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47If you'd had a chance to get to know him...
0:26:47 > 0:26:48Howard Bellamy is nothing!
0:26:48 > 0:26:51- He was already dead to me. - Don't say that.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54I never want to see you here. I never want to hear his name again!
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Do you understand?
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Hello, love. We can talk about this later.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11This little mix-up you're having, eh?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- I had no idea. - Me either.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Well, it must be important.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Yeah? What underwear are you wearing?
0:27:20 > 0:27:22- Nothing. It's just... - You're wearing nothing?- No...
0:27:22 > 0:27:25- And the dad? - Er, it didn't work out.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Oh, I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. It's a good thing.