0:00:34 > 0:00:36Morning, boss.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Good morning, Dr Clay.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41I see you have a new toy.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45Yeah, just getting to grips with it.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Oh, it's a little windswept.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51If I'd known that I was going to be on Candid Camera...
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Oh, don't worry, I'm just messing around.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55I'm planning to do a few more formal ones for the website.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57I think it needs updating.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00That was on Mr Bellamy's to-do list.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Perhaps we should honour his wishes.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Absolutely. Have you got time now?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07How long will it take?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I'll set up a key light. Maybe ten minutes.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21LETTERBOX RATTLES
0:01:24 > 0:01:27SHE GROANS
0:01:29 > 0:01:32SHE GROANS
0:01:34 > 0:01:39SHE EXHALES
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Oh!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Oh, thank you.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Hmm.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Really? "Immaculate Interiors."
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- Don't say it.- Don't say what?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02- The house is a mess. - Oh, is it? I hadn't noticed.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05I've been too busy reading your Procrastinator's Monthly.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Or your Male Chauvinist Pig Magazine.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Did I say I expected you to tidy it up?
0:02:11 > 0:02:16Oh, just let me bask in my domestic squalor for a few more minutes.
0:02:16 > 0:02:17Bask away.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21You're invited, too.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24I've left the eggs boiling.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Oh, let them boil.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28OK, if you say so.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30SHE GIGGLES
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I thought you had already done that.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I'm just making small adjustments, little increments.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I'm painting with light.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43You certainly have taken to this new hobby with great enthusiasm.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Instant results, isn't it? It's instant gratification.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Sometimes not always so instant.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51You do realise that we open in five minutes?
0:02:51 > 0:02:56Yeah, just try and relax. Relax your shoulders.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58And smile.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Naturally.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04- Yeah, OK, scrap that.- Oh.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- Try not to look too happy...- Oh.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09..or too professional.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Just think.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Think? Think about what?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Erm, what makes you happiest?
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Family, work, friends, charity.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25It's OK, you don't have to pick one.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Any, and you don't have to tell me.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- All right, just think.- Yep.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Very well, then.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Oh, please.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50Mrs Marsh?!
0:03:50 > 0:03:51DOORBELL RINGS
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Mrs Marsh?!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55DOORBELL RINGS
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- KNOCK ON WINDOW - It's Hutch.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Just checking you're all right.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08I'll call back later.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11SHE EXHALES
0:04:18 > 0:04:20I can see you, Mrs Marsh.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22SHE GASPS
0:04:22 > 0:04:25You're not trying to avoid me, are you?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Do you want to let us in?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35SHE EXHALES
0:04:35 > 0:04:38That wasn't very nice, was it?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42You wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, would you?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Shall I make us both a nice cup of tea?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49SHE EXHALES
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Why, thank you, Dr Clay.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54You definitely captured... something.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Yeah.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01You know, I spend my days sending e-mails and transferring
0:05:01 > 0:05:04data from one place to another
0:05:04 > 0:05:07and I never get to see the end result.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Maybe you need a special project.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15- Something that's achievable. - Hmm. Maybe.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19But what?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Hard as rock.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24What is?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26The egg yolk.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27PHONE RINGS
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Are you going to get that?- M-hm.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Hello?
0:05:34 > 0:05:35Oh, hello.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37How are you?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Yes, no, I'm fine, thank you, yeah.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Yes, I heard about that.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Well done.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Oh, today, is it?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Right, OK. No, no, that'd be great.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Nice to see you.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I'm in all day.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55No. Yeah, me, too. Can't wait.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57OK, bye.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Tell me it that's not Auntie Ag.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01No, that was Mo.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06My little cousin Mo, Auntie Jean's girl.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Maureen?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- Yes. Did I not tell you?- No.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13She's got a new job in Letherbridge. She's going to pop by later.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Pop by. What does that mean? For dinner?
0:06:15 > 0:06:18I don't know, maybe. Let's play it by ear, shall we?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Rob! The house is a tip. - So what?! It's only Mo.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22She'll be no bother.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Arnold. Yeah, he looks like an Arnold to me.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31There you go.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Such a worthy cause.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43It is especially important at this time of year that we
0:06:43 > 0:06:45reach out to people who are less fortunate than ourselves.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48These are all on the system. Would you like me to file
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- the originals in your office? - Oh, no, no, no. I will do it.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55I am sure that the practice can do a little bit more for our sick
0:06:55 > 0:06:58patients, and their loved ones. Do you not think?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Yes, of course. Like what?
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Well, maybe a charitable project
0:07:05 > 0:07:08or something that will raise funds.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10And also awareness.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18That's bone china, isn't it?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Should maybe think about flogging it
0:07:21 > 0:07:24if you're as skint as you say you are.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26My mum had something similar.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29My dad flogged it about a week after she died.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34He got 60 quid for it, as it goes, but he blew it on a horse.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36A dead cert, 12 to one.
0:07:36 > 0:07:41Daft old sod. He should be in a home, really.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44But who'd pay for that? Muggins here, that's who.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47But how can I pay when my punters don't pay up?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51I mean, most builders would ask for something up front. Not me.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Oh, no, I'm old-fashioned enough to trust people,
0:07:53 > 0:07:56take them at their word.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57I have paid you.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59You what?
0:08:00 > 0:08:03I've given you thousands of pounds.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05I've given you all I have.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07You've paid something, but not enough.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Yeah, OK. Now with the Lapsang.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Right, and just lift the cup slowly to your lips
0:08:21 > 0:08:23and gently take a sip.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Are we done? I'm beginning to feel like Kate Moss.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Yeah, I think I've managed to capture your unique personality.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Eh, do you not have any patients, Dr Clay?- Cancellation.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- Just seizing the moment.- Indeed.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Back to the coalface.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55There's almost £25. I counted it earlier.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58It just about covers today's petrol, nothing more.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59Well, it's all I've got.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02I transferred all the money from my savings account.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04I can show you the book.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08If I'd known the work was going to cost this much,
0:09:08 > 0:09:10I would never have gone along with it.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Yeah, well, I did tell you how much it would be. Don't you remember?
0:09:13 > 0:09:14No, I don't.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16So your forgetfulness, that's my fault, is it?
0:09:16 > 0:09:21You told me how much the driveway would be before all the add-ons.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23But the roof...
0:09:23 > 0:09:27I mean, I thought you were fixing the roof tiles as a sort of favour.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29What, so I'm a charity, am I?
0:09:29 > 0:09:32No, but it's just...
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Look, I'm not sure how much you did up there.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38It's not as if I could check the roof tiles personally.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40So, what, now I'm a liar as well?
0:09:40 > 0:09:43I never lifted a finger. All those slabs that I dug up,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45fitted with top-of-the-range replacements.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48What was that, your bifocals playing up?
0:09:48 > 0:09:53No. I mean, the driveway, that's different.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I can't deny the work's been done.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Oh, well, thanks very much.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01But I had no idea why it should cost so much money.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03What about your pension? Where does that go?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06It's paid direct into my account.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07But I've already...
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Current account is it?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Yes.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Where's your debit card?
0:10:16 > 0:10:17- In there.- In here?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Come on, then. We're going to go for a little drive.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24You know, all of these should just be digital files.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Jimmi, no! You are not stealing my soul.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Come on, your soul's already been stolen.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Anyway, what's the problem? Is it just a bad hair day, or something?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Yeah, that's it, bad hair day!
0:10:33 > 0:10:36One more for the photoshopping this evening.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39All right, go on then. Too late.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40- Oh, come on.- You had your chance.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Al?!
0:10:44 > 0:10:47What if they ask me what I want all this cash for?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- They won't.- No?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51And if they do, I don't know, just say you fancied a flutter
0:10:51 > 0:10:53on the roulette wheel, I don't know.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57No, I'm joking. You've nothing to worry about. It's simple.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02Just ask for the cash, pop it in your purse and meet me back here.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Oh, and while you're in there, ask for
0:11:04 > 0:11:07a balance on the paper, will you? Have you got that?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Yes. Yes, I think so.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Attagirl.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Well, come on, then. Hop to it.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Stop it. There's no need to bust a gut.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- It's only Mo.- "Only Mo."
0:11:25 > 0:11:27What, the one who turned her nose up at my home cooking
0:11:27 > 0:11:30and then complained about the state of the bathroom?
0:11:30 > 0:11:32I remember that little madam.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Yeah, well, she gets that from her mother.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Whenever Auntie Jean came to our house, she'd always find some dust
0:11:37 > 0:11:39to run her finger through. I think it's what she lived for.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Rob! Not helping.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Don't panic. I'm sure Mo's chilled out by now.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46She must be what 33, 34?
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Yeah, the exact replica of her mum by now. Terrifying!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Oh, yeah.- Don't leave it all to me.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57That loo needs a bit of a scrub round.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06About time.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08SHE GROANS
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Well?
0:12:13 > 0:12:16There's £500.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20She said it took me up to the limit of my overdraft.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23When does your pension go in? Start of the month?
0:12:24 > 0:12:30I'm not sure when I'll eat again. I mean, my cupboards are bare.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Beans on toast should see you through. Here you are.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Did you manage to get a balance?
0:12:34 > 0:12:35- Erm...- That's it.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Come on, I'll take you home, no extra cost.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'd sooner walk, thank you.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Don't be daft, it's over a mile.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51I can manage it. I'd like to see someone on my way home.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- Who?- Sorry?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Who do you want to see?
0:12:56 > 0:12:57My husband.
0:12:57 > 0:12:58I thought you were a widow.
0:12:58 > 0:13:03I am. I haven't seen Ron in a long time.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06His grave, I mean.
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Look, say what you like to the dead,
0:13:09 > 0:13:13- just watch what you say to the living.- Oh, you're a terrible man.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15SHE GROANS
0:13:15 > 0:13:19For most people, a hobby is a way of relaxing or fun.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Yeah, no, Redbush, please.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25But for Dr Clay, it is all-consuming.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29It's a useful distraction from that disaster of a personal life of his.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Well, I hope it is not distracting him from his patients.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34In a few weeks he'll have forgotten about it,
0:13:34 > 0:13:36he'll have moved on to something else. By which time you'll
0:13:36 > 0:13:39have gotten yourself some shiny new photographs for the website.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Well, perhaps we could put his obsession to more charitable use.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51For example, if we got our patients to donate £5-10
0:13:51 > 0:13:55and for that they would get a beautiful portrait photograph.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Oh, what? Like their favourite wart before it got frozen off?
0:14:00 > 0:14:06Yes... Well, perhaps we should just use it for the children.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Yeah, who doesn't want a photograph of their vomiting four-year-old?
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Two sugars, please.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14DOORBELL RINGS
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Here we go!
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- Hey, the gaffer! - Hello, come in, come in!
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Ta. Nice place.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26You've done all right for yourself, eh?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Yeah, you remember Karen, don't you?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Of course I do. All right, Kazza?!
0:14:30 > 0:14:31I'm dying for the lav.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Up here, is it?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- Yeah, first on the left. - All right, ta.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44A calendar!
0:14:44 > 0:14:46We could produce a calendar for charity.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Dr Clay could do the photographs.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Dr Haskey, you could do the graphics.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Mrs Hollins will be point of sale.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57And for each month, a different member of staff.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06It's for charity!
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Well, I suppose it could work. But you'd have to have a theme.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Yeah, like Calendar Girls. No, wait, I've got it,
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Calendar Guys! Oh, yeah! - That's it!
0:15:15 > 0:15:19Come on, lads, I'm sure we can sort you out with some, you know,
0:15:19 > 0:15:22cherry bakewells placed strategically.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Yeah, well, I'll be behind the camera.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25So, it'll be down to Al, Daniel and Heston.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27They can get four months each.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Yeah, I'm sure the Chippendales are quaking into their budgie smugglers.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34- Who would pay good money for that? - Curiosity.
0:15:34 > 0:15:39I have a much more salubrious idea, The 12 Days of Christmas.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41# Ding, dong Merrily on high... #
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Sorry, isn't that a bit weird?
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Thinking about partridges and turtle doves in July?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49She's right, it's too season-specific.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53Yeah, and too religious. It should be nicely secular.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56How about we do a darts-themed calendar?
0:15:56 > 0:15:57THEY GROAN
0:15:57 > 0:15:59No, hear me out. You throw a dart at your favourite
0:15:59 > 0:16:01healthcare professional.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Bull's-eye, right in Daniel's eye!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Our patients would love that.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Oh, there you are!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Oh, I'm so sorry about the flowers.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17I'm not any good on my own, am I?
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I miss you so much.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36What about an arts-and-crafty calendar?
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Give it some extra value.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Yeah, we could throw in a few knitting patterns.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I was thinking more...origami?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Yeah, Heston would look really good as a Chinese Lantern.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48We could do a little version for the kids.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50They could make paper aeroplanes out of us.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53We could have another contest.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I have neglected the church's flower rota.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57So I will leave it in your capable hands.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00I know! Why don't we all dress up?!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02You know, as lookalikes.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Hm?
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Well, yes. I'm all for improving work protocols.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11What is it you wanted to know, exactly?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Your thoughts, your ideas.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Obviously it's important that the relationship is efficient,
0:17:16 > 0:17:19but is also needs to be harmonious.
0:17:19 > 0:17:20Right.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23The midwife-mother relationship is a very...
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I meant the midwife-GP relationship.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Right.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31I know we're breaking new ground,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34but it's important to have ongoing dialogue.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- And I'd like to start that dialogue.- Now?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Well, no, not now. I know you're busy.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42But maybe tomorrow?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Yeah, fine.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- Is something wrong?- No, yes...
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Well, frankly I'm quite surprised that you're even suggesting it,
0:17:51 > 0:17:54considering how scathing you were about midwifery.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Scathing?! I wasn't scathing!
0:17:56 > 0:17:57Yes, you were.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03I've got myself into a terrible mess.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06This man, Hutch...
0:18:06 > 0:18:10He seemed so nice at first.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Mrs Marsh.
0:18:12 > 0:18:13SHE GASPS
0:18:13 > 0:18:17Oh, I am so sorry! I did not mean to alarm you.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Are you all right?
0:18:21 > 0:18:26Yes. It's just that I miss him so much, that's all.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Look, I mustn't keep you. I know you are very busy.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35You look a little tired.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Have you been on your feet for long?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39About an hour or so.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42I don't remember it as being such a long walk.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44What, from home?
0:18:44 > 0:18:48From the high street. I needed to go to the bank.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Oh, well, perhaps you would like to sit down for a little while.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- I could make you a nice cup of tea. - No, no, no.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03I need to go home, if it's all the same with you?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05SHE GROANS
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- Yeah, you're Fred Flintstone! - You're Barney Rubble.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Wilma.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19Oh, Ayesha could be Jessica Rabbit, because she's a dead ringer!
0:19:19 > 0:19:22- What?- No, I don't think cartoons are the way to go.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Lookalikes, yes, but I think we should stick to real people.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Icons, then. There's our theme.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Heston is a shoo-in for Winston Churchill.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33So Ayesha could be Rihanna and you could be Henry VIII.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- I would love that. - What are you going on about?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38We're going to do a calendar. Jimmi's going to do the photos
0:19:38 > 0:19:40and the rest of us are going to dress up as icons.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- That's the worst idea I've ever heard.- It's for charity, mate!
0:19:44 > 0:19:47You seem to think that I'm anti-midwife,
0:19:47 > 0:19:49when nothing could be further from the truth.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I'm glad to hear you say that.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Actually, this was Daniel's initiative,
0:19:54 > 0:19:57but he's busy with partner stuff, so I thought I'd take the lead.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I see.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03So, we'll reconvene tomorrow, eight o'clock, my place.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Your place? Why not here?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Well, it's hardly conducive, is it?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Conducive to what?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Discussion, debate...
0:20:12 > 0:20:16fuelled by light nibbles and canapes.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Yeah, all right. But, please, don't go to any trouble.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22No, I wouldn't dream of it.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30God, you two must rattle round here.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32You could do with a couple more bodies warming up the place.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Well, Jack and Immie will be back for Christmas soon, so...
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Would you like some salad with your lasagne?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Oh, God, no scran for me, ta.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Just a liquid lunch, is it?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45I had a couple of bacon butties on t'train.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48There you are, grab yourself a brew.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51I brought some of the local stuff with me.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- Oh, good girl!- Kazza?
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Oh, no, thank you.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I'm guessing this is a no-smoking gaff?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Yeah, garden job.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05I'll get you a little bowl so you can put your butts in.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Hey, while you're down there, you could get the cleaning fluid
0:21:08 > 0:21:11out and have a pop at the mud on the stairs?
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Yes, right. Mo?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Well, thank you for letting me pop round.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20Nothing soothes the mind like a nice cup of tea.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Thank you.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28I noticed that your cupboards were a little understocked.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Would you like me to go and buy some essentials from the corner shop?
0:21:31 > 0:21:37Oh, no, no. I do a big shop on pension day.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I can wait till then.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44Oh, I see that you are an Agatha Christie fan.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Oh, yes. I read them again and again.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Terrible things occur and, yet, there is
0:21:52 > 0:21:56something very comforting about her stories.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I have not read this one.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04Oh, it's one of her best. You should borrow it.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Oh, thank you, I will.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10It is a wonderful escapism.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14But it does not truly reflect the reality of crime,
0:22:14 > 0:22:18which can be quite brutal and upsetting.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22So, do you have many friends in the neighbourhood?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Well, not really.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27We got on very well with the family next door,
0:22:27 > 0:22:30but they moved back to Lancashire.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33That was not long after Ron died.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36And what about Hutch?
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Pardon?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42It's just that when you were at your husband's grave
0:22:42 > 0:22:45you mentioned someone called Hutch.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Is he a friend of yours?
0:22:51 > 0:22:54That's right, she did! No, she did!
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Karen, can you remember
0:22:56 > 0:23:00when Aunty Jean was brushing the dandruff off the vicar's shoulders?!
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Eh, do you remember the heckles at the wedding breakfast?
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- Oh, eh!- Oh, God, best man didn't have a chance, did he?
0:23:06 > 0:23:07A force of nature, your mother.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11- I tell you what, it's a wonder I turned out so normal!- I know.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15- Fancy another?- I do, yeah.- Tell you what, though, they go right
0:23:15 > 0:23:17- through you these, don't they? - They do.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Hang on, be back in two shakes.- Yeah.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21I may as well take my bags up while I'm at it.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Which one's the Presidential Suite? - Opposite the bathroom.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I thought you said she was just popping by?
0:23:28 > 0:23:31What? She's got nowhere else to go, has she?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Anyway, she's family.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36I don't care if she's Tiny Tim, she's not stopping here.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37It's only for one night.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Anyway, it's too late to go and find a hotel room now.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Are you saying she hasn't even started looking for digs?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46This is her flipping plan, isn't it?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49You know, get you drunk so you're too stupid to send her packing.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51She's a good kid.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55She's probably just a little bit nervous about seeing us again.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59"Nervous?!" She's about as nervous as a Rottweiler.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02I'd rather have her mum stopping. At least she's house-broken.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09He did the driveway.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13It was in a terrible state, I didn't want the postman having an accident.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17So you did not ask him to do the work, he suggested it?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Well, the amount he quoted at the very beginning,
0:24:19 > 0:24:21well, it was quite reasonable.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23But after he'd started the work,
0:24:23 > 0:24:27he kept mentioning all these extra things.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30And when he told me the final figure,
0:24:30 > 0:24:32oh, I nearly fainted.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Have you paid him already?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Well, I've paid him all I can. He says it's not enough.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40How much does he want?
0:24:40 > 0:24:44Another £5,000 plus interest.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48This man is a criminal.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49You owe him nothing.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51On the contrary...
0:24:51 > 0:24:52KNOCK AT DOOR
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Mrs Marsh, it's me again.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Are you all right?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Well, that's him.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Right, well perhaps if I speak to him.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00If he knows that you are not alone...
0:25:00 > 0:25:02No, no, you mustn't get involved.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Oh, you don't know what he's capable of.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- KNOCK AT DOOR - Mrs Marsh?
0:25:07 > 0:25:10You OK, Mrs Marsh? Bit worried about you earlier.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14Look, if I don't answer, he'll come in the back door.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Right, all right.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Oh, you've made yourself at home.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26Oh, this mattress is dead comfy. There's no lumps.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27No, it's brand-new.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30My one back in Donny is a right shambles.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Mind you, it's seen a fair bit of action.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35If mattresses could talk, eh?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Yeah, that's daft.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Why would a mattress talk?
0:25:43 > 0:25:46The thing is, Mo, me and Rob, we're not party people.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48It's early to bed, early to rise.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52We don't want you to feel bored.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Oh, don't worry about me, Kazza. You won't cramp my style.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59What with t'new job, I'll be in bed by two.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Two?
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Ah, just joking you! Midnight, tops.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Oh, I really appreciate this.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Our Rob always said you were a gem.
0:26:09 > 0:26:14I bet you're a right giggle, you, eh? When you let your hair down.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17I have my moments.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Oh, come here.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22I think I'm going to like it here.
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Mrs Marsh?!
0:26:58 > 0:26:59I'm Mo, by the way.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Hi, I'm Al. I work with Karen.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- Please don't go to any trouble. - It's fine, I'll see you at seven.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Hello!
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Oh, it's work related. Partly.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13This man is a dangerous criminal.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Oh, Karen. No!
0:27:15 > 0:27:16A five!
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- I thought you had heart.- I do, but I play bridge with my head.- Oh!