0:00:26 > 0:00:28LOW CHATTER
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Hi, girls. Um...
0:00:43 > 0:00:46It's a little bit silly, but...but I...
0:00:46 > 0:00:48I caught sight of you and...
0:00:48 > 0:00:50and you're not going to believe me when I say this, so...
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Would you do me the honour of being my wife?
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Ha! What?! Get out of here!
0:00:59 > 0:01:00No, wait!
0:01:01 > 0:01:05What about you? Will you marry me? No?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Have you got any friends that might be interested?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Do you know, I wasn't going to come in,
0:01:10 > 0:01:12but the pain got so bad, in the end, I said to myself,
0:01:12 > 0:01:17"Alexa, you've got to stop being a hero". So here I am.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21OK. Well, er...can you tell me what's wrong?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23I've got bowel cancer.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28Right. OK. Um...can you tell me about your symptoms?
0:01:28 > 0:01:33I'm bloated, constipated and I get a sporadic pain here.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36I've been on a forum. Everything fits.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Listen, um...online forums aren't always the best approach.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- MOBILE RINGS - Excuse me.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Yes, hi.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Well, I'm in there now.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Yes, well, go on, yes.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58PHONE RINGS
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- Hello.- Hello?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- How's it going, Mum? - I've been trying to get hold of you.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11You're up with the larks.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13- How are you, love? - Yeah, I'm tip-top.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16You are going to get on the flight tomorrow, aren't you?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Of course I'll be on the flight tomorrow.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22Um...look...look, Mum, my stuff's not going to pack itself, eh?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24I love you. See you soon.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Yeah, yeah. You, too.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31HE SIGHS
0:02:33 > 0:02:36I've been saying to myself, "Alexa, stay positive".
0:02:36 > 0:02:39But it's hard to stay positive when you know there's something wrong.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Surely you just need to refer me to a consultant, don't you think?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44HE SIGHS
0:02:44 > 0:02:48I need to do some routine checks first, OK? Build a bigger picture.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50So, for breakfast, you usually have...?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Caramel macchiato.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55What, nothing to eat?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Those flavoured coffees can be surprisingly calorific, you know.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00- Lunch?- Salad.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04Then in the evenings, I have one of those low-calorie ready meals.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Any, er...drinks or snacks?
0:03:06 > 0:03:08I drink a lot of diet cola.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Well, um...I can't feel anything unusual.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16I can see that you're at least...trying to be healthy.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I think your symptoms may be down to your diet.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22That's extremely unlikely.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I have a very high pain threshold.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26It's nothing minor we're dealing with here.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29I didn't know what to wear tonight. I was in a right tizz.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Oh, you look lovely.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Aw! I was tempted just to wear my comfortable joggers
0:03:34 > 0:03:38and then I thought, "No! No, it's my big night. I'm going to go bold."
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Good for you!
0:03:40 > 0:03:43So, are you waiting for Karen to get here before...?
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Before what?
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Before dishing out all the flashing tiaras and whatnot.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Oh, I didn't think you'd want any of that.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Oh! What would I do without you?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54No, minimum fuss is fine.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Good.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Yeah. You want to save yourself for the, er...big night.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01THEY CHUCKLE
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Thank you. This is exactly what I needed.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06# If you liked it, then you should've put a ring on it
0:04:06 > 0:04:09# If you liked it, then you should've put a ring on it
0:04:09 > 0:04:11# Don't be mad once you see that he want it
0:04:11 > 0:04:14# If you liked it, then you should've put a ring on it
0:04:14 > 0:04:16# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
0:04:16 > 0:04:18# Oh, oh, oh, oh
0:04:18 > 0:04:21# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
0:04:21 > 0:04:24# Oh, oh, oh, oh
0:04:24 > 0:04:27# If you liked it, then you should've put a ring on it...#
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Surely I need an ultrasound or a scan, don't you think?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32I've been extremely thorough,
0:04:32 > 0:04:35but I'll make you an appointment with one of my colleagues,
0:04:35 > 0:04:37- if you'd prefer a second opinion? - No.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Just try and make those changes to your diet that we spoke about.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- And if your symptoms still persist, then come back and see me.- Right.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49(Flaming heck, you were in there half an hour!)
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Yeah, well, the internet has a lot to answer for.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Listen, will you do me a favour?
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- Will you lock up? Because I want to get to Valerie's.- Yeah, of course.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Whit-whoo, by the way.- Aw!
0:04:58 > 0:04:59THEY CHUCKLE
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Between you and me, I hope Ayesha hasn't organised something
0:05:02 > 0:05:04too Valerie, if you know what I mean.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07And you're going to this Barry thing, aren't you?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Yeah. Can't wait!
0:05:09 > 0:05:12This is Barry we're talking about.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Rob's organising it and he's dreading it.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- Sid!- Zach! How you doing?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22You're looking good, Doctor. New suit?
0:05:22 > 0:05:23What do you want?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Aren't you going to introduce us?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Karen, this is Zach. We used to live together.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Hiya. I've got to go.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Yeah, great. Good timing, by the way. I'm all done. Come through.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34A-Actually, um...
0:05:34 > 0:05:37I, er...I better do this before I bottle it, so, um...
0:05:37 > 0:05:40I know this is a bit out the blue, but, um...
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Will you marry me?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56I wonder how the girls are getting on.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00- Yeah. Ruhma was looking forward to a girls' night.- Yeah, I bet.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Karen will have them all dancing around their handbags in no time.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06We should have you two over for dinner, return the favour.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- Yeah. That would be, um...delightful.- Yeah.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Oh, here he is.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Ah! The man of the hour!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Right, we need to get you a drink.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18You know, I'm dead chuffed all you lot could come.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Yeah.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Right, I need the, er...loo. - Me, too.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31I think they're just going to the, er...
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Listen, your best mate should be here any minute.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Gavin?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36No. Ross.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- Ross?- Yeah. Well, it was too late notice for the others.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Thanks for making the effort.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Any...any time.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Bazza!- There you go.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- All right, Bazza? I've been looking forward to this!- Ha-ha!
0:06:57 > 0:06:58Is this about Jessica?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03It's nothing to do with her.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Come on, mate, it must be hard.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07I'm grateful, actually. I dodged a bullet there.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Well, you can't just go around proposing to people!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Come on, what's wrong?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14My visa's expired. I'm getting kicked out.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Well, I thought work was sponsoring you?- There's no funding
0:07:17 > 0:07:21and there's not enough time to find another job with sponsorship. It's a mess!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Well, surely there's something you can do.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27Think about it. We could easily be passed off as lovers.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Look at these pics.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Arms around each other. Look at that one there.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35We were out drinking, that's all!
0:07:35 > 0:07:38What about your text messages? You always put kisses.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Well, I'm a kisses kind of guy!
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Um...what about Dublin?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47What a romantic city Dublin was, eh?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49What, your birthday?!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51There was about a dozen of us!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Zach, look, this isn't like you.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56You can talk to me, you know.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59My life's here. I don't want to go back to New Zealand.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Mm! - THEY CHEER
0:08:05 > 0:08:07I'm so sorry!
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- Ooo, hello! - THEY LAUGH
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Hey, you are never going to guess what's happened to me again!
0:08:13 > 0:08:17I'm leaving the surgery and this really handsome bloke bursts in,
0:08:17 > 0:08:22drops on one knee and proposes to Sid.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- No way!- What is it with the men in our surgery?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Oh, I'm so relieved that it's all out in the open.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I think you must be mistaken.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Oh, no, no. They used to live together. It was a right love nest.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Sid is 100% straight.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Yes, well, you always said there wasn't any chemistry.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Because we weren't right together, not because he's gay.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- So, what is the plan?- Ah!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- What is that? - Look, it matches your dress.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49THEY LAUGH
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Lovely(!) So, Valerie, I was thinking that you were going to be
0:08:52 > 0:08:54covered head to toe in pink fairy lights.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Now, I've got the most thoughtful maid of honour in the world.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59She knows I've been overdoing it a bit,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02so tonight, we are going a bit low key.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Actually, about that.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I've actually organised a little something downstairs.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Ooo! We've got a butler in the buff? - Cheeky!- We're doing an activity.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- Cocktail making?- Actually, it's...
0:09:12 > 0:09:19Burlesque is all about the art of the tease.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23It's a way of expressing yourselves.
0:09:23 > 0:09:28So look inside and discover your inner vixen.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Rrrr!
0:09:30 > 0:09:32What have you got us into?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34(Ssh! For Valerie's sake.)
0:09:34 > 0:09:37One of the most important things about burlesque
0:09:37 > 0:09:40is confidence.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41Try and look at the positives, OK?
0:09:41 > 0:09:43It might do you some good to get away.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45You know, have some time out and...
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Have you, er...have you spoken to her?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54She collected her things while I was at work.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Posted her keys through the letterbox.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Bet it must have been difficult breaking it to everyone.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02It's not the easiest phone call to make four weeks before the big day, eh?
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Think, my friends and family spent a fortune on flights.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Why couldn't she talk to me?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10And if one more person calls her brave...!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13I know it might not seem like it now, but...
0:10:14 > 0:10:17..in the long run...maybe you're better off.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I-I...
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I thought she was the one, you know?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Same again, lads?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Gentlemen, I'm going to call it a night.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- What, already?- Actually, I've got a statement to prepare.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35No, you don't. No, you don't have a statement to prepare.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Come on, fellas, sit down, please.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Thank you. Anyway, I think it's my round.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43I'll get these. What do you want?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Er...same again.- Yeah.- Me, too.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Sorry to trouble you, does someone own a Volvo, dark grey?
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Registration, L-T-4-9...?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56R-J-Q?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58That's mine. Is there a problem?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I'm very sorry, sir, but it's currently violating
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Section Two of the university's parking regulations.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06That's impossible. It's after 6:00.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Oh! Right.
0:11:08 > 0:11:14Well, you'll find that sub-clause 1.4 dictates that, er...
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I'm going to have to give you a ticket.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Yeah. I see what's going on here. Yeah.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24You work for one of them private firms, don't you?
0:11:24 > 0:11:25That clamps cars unlawfully
0:11:25 > 0:11:28and holds them to ransom for extortionate fees?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Well, I wasn't born yesterday.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36I'd like to see some proof before you just issue a ticket willy-nilly.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Well, take a seat.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43Or I'll have to give you a ticket for disobedience, too.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46She'll give you some proof all right!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50# I think I did it again...#
0:11:50 > 0:11:52CHEERING
0:11:52 > 0:11:55WHOOPING
0:11:55 > 0:11:57ALL: Ooo!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Ooo, hello!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- Ooo!- Goodness me!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Wow!
0:12:06 > 0:12:08WHOOPING AND LAUGHTER
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Here comes the other one!
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Oh, no, she's not, is she?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Oh, my goodness, she is!
0:12:32 > 0:12:35THEY CHEER
0:12:37 > 0:12:39APPLAUSE
0:12:42 > 0:12:45There's no need for that.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Is that your wallet in your trousers,
0:12:47 > 0:12:49or are you just pleased to see her?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Not so fast, sweetheart!
0:12:51 > 0:12:53No offence, but I'm a one-girl guy.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Don't be a spoilsport, Bazza. - Stop it!
0:12:57 > 0:12:58BOOING
0:12:58 > 0:13:01You didn't have to ruin it for the rest of us!
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- All right, steady on.- It's Barry's prerogative, don't you think?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Which one of you boys is Ross?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08That'll be £50.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12I don't think so, love. Clue's in the job title.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13I did what the groom wanted!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Give us a private dance, then.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17It's not that kind of place.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19You booked her. Pay the girl.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Maybe next time.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Your face! "Please, don't give me a ticket, Officer!"
0:13:29 > 0:13:32I specifically said no strippers.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I knew nothing about it.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Relax. It's your present from the lads in Security.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39We thought, before the plonker gets hitched,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41he'd better see an actual naked woman!
0:13:41 > 0:13:42HE LAUGHS
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Come on, mate, at least the climate's better over there.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52You ever been to Wellington?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55It's grey and wet, like here, but with earthquakes.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Do you want to go for a drink? Might cheer you up a bit.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Yeah, mate.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- Sorry, the surgery's closed. - Door was open.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Just as well, I've made an important scientific discovery.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10I'll be as quick as I can.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16I had absolutely no idea that burlesque was so empowering.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18I want to be a burlesque dancer.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20THEY LAUGH
0:14:20 > 0:14:26So, caritas, remember the way I removed the ribbon from my basque?
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Ooo, yes! Um...oh! A-ha! It's here.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32- Oh, you keep it, carita.- Oh!
0:14:32 > 0:14:36I want you to use your props
0:14:36 > 0:14:39to come up with a signature move.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Something sensual,
0:14:42 > 0:14:44something fun!
0:14:44 > 0:14:46THEY GIGGLE
0:14:46 > 0:14:48But something uniquely you.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- Entiendes?- Si!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- Si, si!- Si!- Si!
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Caritas, did Mama mention
0:14:56 > 0:14:59that there will be a special prize for the best move?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Ooo!- Ah! - KAREN CHUCKLES
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Sid's not coming. He's been caught up.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Not to worry.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Need to make the most of your last night of freedom.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I'll give it a miss, thank you very much.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12I don't want a sore head tomorrow.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Where's your sense of adventure?
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Put your thumbs on the table, like this.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Come on, it's your stag!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24What are you doing?
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Shall we go and get a kebab, eh, lads?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- How do I get it off? - Use your imagination.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Or isn't there anything going on in that thick skull of yours?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Hello, anyone home? - All right, leave it out.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- Look at you. Priceless!- Pack it in.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- I was just trying to liven things up!- Is that what you call it?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44What was that, Bazza? Speak up.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Let's just have a nice drink, eh?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49He's got off lightly.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Lucky we didn't strip you naked and tie you to a lamppost.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54You've got to admit, this is the most boring stag ever.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- Then why don't you...?!- Easy, tiger.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59All you are is a bully and I'm sick of it! I don't want you here!
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- You on your period?- I don't want you at the wedding either.
0:16:02 > 0:16:03Bazza, don't be like that.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I hope you and your missus rot in hell.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11On second thoughts, she'll be in hell anyway, she's marrying you.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Hell is alone.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15There's nothing to escape from
0:16:15 > 0:16:17and nothing to escape to.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Good luck with that, mate.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33HE EXHALES
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Ladies, ladies!
0:16:35 > 0:16:38It is time to show us what you've got!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Why do I have to go first?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46- Ooo! Oh!- Because you do. Up you get.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Chica? - CHEERING
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Go on, Ruhma!- Go on, Ruhma! - You got this!
0:16:51 > 0:16:55# Hey sister, go sister soul sister, go sister...#
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Yay!
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Yay! CHEERING
0:16:59 > 0:17:03# He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans
0:17:03 > 0:17:06# Strutting her stuff on the street...#
0:17:06 > 0:17:08THEY LAUGH
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Promising start!
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Oh! Flaming Aida!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Go on, Karen!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21# Itchi-gitchi ya-ya here
0:17:21 > 0:17:24# Mocha-choca-lata ya-ya
0:17:24 > 0:17:26THEY LAUGH
0:17:26 > 0:17:29# Creole Lady Marmalade. #
0:17:29 > 0:17:30CHEERING
0:17:30 > 0:17:33I love the humour! Next!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- Oh, it's me, girls! - CHEERING
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- Go, Val! Go, Val!- Go, Valerie!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41- Oh, yeah! - WHOOPING
0:17:43 > 0:17:45CHEERING
0:17:47 > 0:17:48APPLAUSE
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Valerie, your enthusiasm is infectious!
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Go, Ayesha!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Yeah! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- Whoo!- Whoo!
0:18:04 > 0:18:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:08 > 0:18:12Check out the sass! Ladies, this is very impressive!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Oh!
0:18:19 > 0:18:20- Ooo! - THEY LAUGH
0:18:20 > 0:18:24- Unfair advantage!- You shouldn't have tipped me off, should you?
0:18:24 > 0:18:25THEY LAUGH
0:18:30 > 0:18:32THEY LAUGH
0:18:37 > 0:18:39- How does she...?- Wow!
0:18:40 > 0:18:42THEY LAUGH
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Ooo!
0:18:47 > 0:18:48THEY GASP
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- ENGLISH ACCENT:- Maybe just master the basics first.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Hm!
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- SPANISH ACCENT:- Ladies, as you know,
0:18:55 > 0:18:58there is a special prize at stake.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I am awarding...this...
0:19:02 > 0:19:06- Ooo!- ..to the person who has really captured
0:19:06 > 0:19:08the spirit of the burlesque.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15ALL: Ooooooooo!
0:19:15 > 0:19:17THEY CHUCKLE
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Valerie!
0:19:18 > 0:19:21THEY CHEER
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Put it on your leg.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Ooo!- Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:19:25 > 0:19:27SHE SPEAKS SPANISH
0:19:27 > 0:19:29THEY LAUGH
0:19:30 > 0:19:33I am host to a parasite.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36OK.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38And what makes you think that?
0:19:38 > 0:19:40I read an article online
0:19:40 > 0:19:43about how parasites can make the host do weird things.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46For instance, the Gordian worm
0:19:46 > 0:19:48that grows inside a cricket. Now...
0:19:48 > 0:19:50And makes it commit suicide, yeah.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54But I don't see how this relates to you.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Surely, the most logical explanation
0:19:56 > 0:19:59as to why I'm compelled to eat certain foods
0:19:59 > 0:20:01is parasitic manipulation. Don't you think?
0:20:01 > 0:20:06As I said earlier, your symptoms are consistent with your diet.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Now, we need to discover what the parasite is
0:20:08 > 0:20:10and how to get rid of it.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13So you'll need to run the necessary tests.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16The thought of this parasite inside me gives me the shivers!
0:20:16 > 0:20:20But I said to myself, "Alexa, pull yourself together".
0:20:20 > 0:20:24OK. From the tests that I performed earlier, everything seems normal.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28OK? So the question that you need to ask yourself is,
0:20:28 > 0:20:31"Alexa, what is the most rational explanation
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- "for the symptoms you've been experiencing?"- Exactly!
0:20:34 > 0:20:38So surely, the next step is ruling out any external factors.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Don't you think?
0:20:40 > 0:20:45- Hm.- Which means eliminating any potential dietary factors.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Agreed?
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Good.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- I'm so sorry, mate. - There's some things I won't miss,
0:20:54 > 0:20:57like how everyone always says sorry.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59But, fair, you make a good Sunday roast.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03I love a roast. Sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Take it you're going back to, um...?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07New Zealand. Getting deported.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11Unless by some miracle, I can find someone to marry me, so...
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I'd marry you.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- What?- What?- What?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17I was saying to myself the other day,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20"You must start thinking about settling down".
0:21:20 > 0:21:23But I'm just so busy. But of course, I'm inundated with offers.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- I can imagine. - So I'd...I'd have to consider it.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30And obviously, I have strict criteria for a life partner.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Go on.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Tall. Well, you pass that one.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37I'd want to keep tabs on your whereabouts.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38There's this spyware app.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40You'd have to keep it switched on at all times.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43I don't want you having any boys-only nights.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46- Anything else?- You should know that I'm always right.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Best to acknowledge that now.
0:21:48 > 0:21:53Oh, and obviously, I want to be told how beautiful I am every day.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56You are very...beautiful.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Can I have the pleasure of knowing your name?
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Alexa Beatrice Williams.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Well, that's a very pretty name, milady.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Thank you!
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Do you know, I think I'm going to get lessons.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Because I am clearly a natural.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19Thank you so much. This has been THE best night I have had in years!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21You are very welcome!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23These are from Niamh.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27She's texted to say she can't make it. Held up apparently.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- We all know who by.- So, how's it going with this new fella?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Oh, has she told Al that she's moved on?
0:22:32 > 0:22:34What's it got to do with him?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Well, it's ex-etiquette, isn't it?
0:22:36 > 0:22:39So, you've told Ashley that you're getting married tomorrow, have you?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42The thing about exes is it's all fine
0:22:42 > 0:22:44until one of you meets somebody else.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46That's when it gets tricky.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Me and Sid seem to manage it OK.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Even going on holiday together.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- You are kidding me?- I am not. - Lucky you!
0:22:52 > 0:22:54You're telling me you're going to be lazing by the pool
0:22:54 > 0:22:56with Sid in his Speedos?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Oh, I love a man in Speedos!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01I should get Barry a pair.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Because his legs are his best feature.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06BELCH! Pardon.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07THEY LAUGH
0:23:07 > 0:23:10You are telling me that you are not going to be tempted?
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I've told you, we're just mates. Anyway, tonight is about Valerie.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Show us that winning garter.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- THEY CHEER - Someone's changing the subject.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Ah! Let's have a toast.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23To Valerie! Cheers!
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- Cheers!- To Valerie!- ALL: Valerie!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Whoo! - EMMA LAUGHS
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Right, then, good night.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Would you like to go for a drink?
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Er...I thought we were going out for a pint?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44If you don't mind being a third wheel,
0:23:44 > 0:23:46you're more than welcome to tag along.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Um...do you mind just giving us a minute?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- Yes.- Right. Um...
0:23:51 > 0:23:54- You know I care about you, right? - Yeah.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56And you know I want you to be happy, but...
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Well, I think it's my duty as a friend to speak up.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Do you not think all this is a bit rushed?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02You've only known her five minutes!
0:24:02 > 0:24:03I've got no choice.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Look, I know it's a big change going home,
0:24:06 > 0:24:08but you'll land on your feet. You always do!
0:24:08 > 0:24:10My home's here.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11Yeah, but you don't know her.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Someone like that...
0:24:13 > 0:24:14She'll make you miserable.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Look, I know you're looking out for me, but this is my decision.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Why don't you just sleep on it, yeah?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Time's not exactly on my side, mate.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24I don't want you to make a decision you're going to regret.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26You don't have to go through with it.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29You don't have to take Alexa Beatrice Williams for a drink.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I do.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43I can't believe I finally told him where to go.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47You handled it, um...impeccably.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Between myself and these four walls, I have to keep pinching myself.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55My career is plodding along nicely
0:24:55 > 0:24:57and now I'm marrying my soulmate.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01- You barely know each other.- Jimmi!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03No, but, you haven't even lived together.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Don't listen to him.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Jimmi's entitled to his opinion.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09You're right.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Things have moved quicker than perhaps I would have liked.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15I'm just saying that people aren't always what you think they are.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20I know you've been through a lot.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23But the way I see it is...
0:25:24 > 0:25:26..you've got to follow your heart.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30Exactly. All that matters is what you two feel about each other.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33There's bound to be some bumps in the road and, like you say,
0:25:33 > 0:25:36we haven't been together that long, but...
0:25:37 > 0:25:40..I always hope things will turn out for the best.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45Well, that's the difference between you and me. I'm a pessimist.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47I understand. You're a doctor.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50You see things a certain way.
0:25:50 > 0:25:51That's the way to be, isn't it?
0:25:51 > 0:25:54If you're a pessimist, you can't be disappointed.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00But if anyone was going to make it work, then...it would be you two.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02So cheers.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04ALL: Cheers!
0:26:07 > 0:26:11I'm getting married, Rob. I can't believe it.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13You're not the only one.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Where's the bride?
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Oh, no! Thanks, Jimmi(!)
0:26:17 > 0:26:21- Ta-da!- You look fab!- Ah!
0:26:21 > 0:26:23I never want to take it off ever!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Shall I put some coffee on?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29How the hell am I going to get to the wedding?