0:00:25 > 0:00:27# Gloo-ooo-ooo-ooo...
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Ooo-ooo-ooo-ria!
0:00:30 > 0:00:35# It's Karen in her jumper! #
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- What do you think?- I think the earrings are a bit over the top.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Ta-da!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Then again, maybe not.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Morning.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46So, we are going to do scrambled eggs and smoked salmon
0:00:46 > 0:00:48with a little bit of fake bucks fizz.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52- You got time for that? - Yeah, suppose so.- Yee!
0:00:52 > 0:00:53Good news, then?
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Op went well, they said. Mum should be on the mend now.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Yeah, we're going to pop to the hospital later.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- Got her a scarf.- Ah. Good lad.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06Right! Enough nattering. Let's get cracking!
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Oi. What's with the sneaking away?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Oh, I didn't want to wake you.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27- Oh. Is it my morning breath? - No. You just looked beautiful, so...
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- I didn't want to spoil it. - You big cheese.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31You in all day?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Yeah, I've got some wrapping I could do,
0:01:33 > 0:01:35I might go and do dome last minute shopping, or, I was thinking
0:01:35 > 0:01:38I might just stay in my jimjams and watch Elf.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Jimjams. All right.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Well, if you're not going to take me back in, least you can do is give me a kiss.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Now get back in before you catch a cold.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Have a lovely day, dear.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59You do look very good in wool, Doctor Clay.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00That must be the Welsh in you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04- You know, mine goes ding-a-ling. Look.- Oh! It's lovely.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05LAUGHTER
0:02:05 > 0:02:10Ah, Dr Carmichael, how come you are not wearing your...?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12My what, Mrs Tembe?
0:02:12 > 0:02:16- Ah.- Mm!- No, it is very stylish. - Very nice!
0:02:16 > 0:02:19The jumper, I mean. Not...
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Well, yeah, of course, you look nice as well,
0:02:22 > 0:02:25I just meant the jumper looks good on you.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29Cos everything always looks good... Sorry.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Oh...
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Morning.- Oi! Oi! Where do you think you're going?- What?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Um... - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:02:37 > 0:02:39You know.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Oh, no. Is that today?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Oh, as if you didn't know, you naughty man.
0:02:45 > 0:02:50Everyone else has remembered. Everyone else has made an effort.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53You are going to spoil the picture, looking like that, Dr Haskey.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Yeah. You know, Sid even showed us his ding-a-ling.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I bought one, I promise you.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59It had like an X-Wing and TIE fighters all over it,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01but I bought it online,
0:03:01 > 0:03:03and you know what December deliveries are like.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04A likely story.
0:03:04 > 0:03:09I promise on the little baby Santa, I would jump into a jumper.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Oh.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Well...
0:03:14 > 0:03:16luckily for you,
0:03:16 > 0:03:18I have brought a spare one.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22We're going to pop to the shops later,
0:03:22 > 0:03:24so let us know if you want anything.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26You're going shopping again?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28You couldn't get anything else in the fridge.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Why does everyone go bananas with food over Christmas?
0:03:31 > 0:03:32We don't need any more.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36Because Jack will have eaten all that before he's even unpacked.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38And I've got to get Immie her vegetarian turkey,
0:03:38 > 0:03:42and her vegetarian stuffing, and her vegetarian carrots...
0:03:42 > 0:03:45And you've eaten all the honey roasted peanuts.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Have I? Ah, well, you'd better get some more, then.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51I'll you tell you what, just put a big drum of honey roasted peanuts
0:03:51 > 0:03:53in front of me and I'll be sorted till New Year.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56All right, grumpy pants, what is the matter with you?
0:03:56 > 0:04:00I've gone from night shifts to day shift. All I want is bed shifts.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Oh, well, 'tis the season to be jolly, remember?
0:04:03 > 0:04:08The season to... Are you joking? It's Friday.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Jolly for me is having to deal with massive groups of people
0:04:11 > 0:04:14who knock off work early and get absolutely blottoed!
0:04:14 > 0:04:19- It's Christmas, just try and show a bit of joy.- OK.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Right, I'd better shoot off.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Let me know how it goes at the hospital.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- Bye!- Bye!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Al, come on, mate. We're all on the same team.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33If any of you laugh...
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Oh, come on!
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Given how you dress on a day-to-day basis, I'm amazed you even care.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Come on. It's just a bit of fun.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Where did you even get one his size?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Mrs Beasley from the church,
0:04:44 > 0:04:46she has a husband of similar proportions.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48She has loaned it me for the day.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Come on, Dr Haskey.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I think you look very fetching.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- I'm taking it off. - Oh, no, no, no, no!
0:04:57 > 0:05:01No, look, come on. It is actually quite chic.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03I mean, it's better than Sid's monstrosity.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Really?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Oh come on, Al. You can downplay it all you want,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10but we know now that you've a flair for the theatrical.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13First, your star turn as Scrooge, and now this.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- This?- You want the adulation, don't you?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18You want the compliments for wearing it so well.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23Don't be coy with me, I will not let this go to your head.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24No, I suppose not.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Do you really think his jumper's better than mine?
0:05:29 > 0:05:34Actually, I think it's completely hideous and totally vile.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Which is why we should keep him in it all day.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41I like your jumper.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Right, where's the list?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48What do we need?
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Crackers and nuts.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Ah-ha-ha, that sounds like us.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53So, milk, butter, veg, good stinky cheese.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Mince pies or plum pudding?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Oh. Mmm...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- Both?- We shall see.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Where are the vouchers?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- PHONE RINGS - I don't know.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Oh, eh, I'll get that. I think that they are out with the post.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Hello?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Speaking.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19There's one here for...satsumas?
0:06:24 > 0:06:26OK.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Um, thank you. Yeah, bye.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30Who was that?
0:06:32 > 0:06:33The hospital.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Right, so I'm going to arrange an appointment for you
0:06:39 > 0:06:41to see a rheumatologist and in the meantime...
0:06:41 > 0:06:42HE STIFLES LAUGHTER
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Look, it's just a jumper. OK?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46HE LAUGHS
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Thank you, Doctor. - It's Christmas time.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56- What do you want?- Oh, a fine-liner, Valerie's only got biros.- Mm.
0:06:57 > 0:07:02- So, er, what was that all about? - This jumper and this stupid day.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- I've already given one patient an epileptic fit.- Really?
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Cos you do know photosensitive epilepsy
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- is actually quite rare in epileptics.- Oh, my days.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14- You're joking. Ha-ha. - It's a monstrosity.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Is it really upsetting your patients?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Mr Fenwick complained.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- Mr Fenwick is a blind man. - SIDNEY LAUGHS
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I thought Zara was supposed to have taste.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Yeah, well. She's... You know.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30You know what?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32You know what she's like.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Sidney.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Look, I'm more scared of her than I am of you...
0:07:36 > 0:07:38I could check your entire internet history
0:07:38 > 0:07:42- in about less five seconds flat. - OK, OK, OK! whoa, whoa...
0:07:43 > 0:07:45She lied so that you'd wear it, OK?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47She lied?
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Right, that's it.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51OK, but you didn't hear that from me, OK? Oh...
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Now, enough is enough is enough!
0:07:54 > 0:07:58I am not doing this any more! It's inhumane.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Now that one I like.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04- What one?- That jumper, that's how you do it. Kitsch, bold, colourful.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Bit new rave in a way, isn't it? - New what in a way?
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Claudia Sims. Hi.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Not many men can pull that off. Bravo.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19You were saying something was inhumane.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20I wasn't...
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Wha... Say again?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25INDISTINCT VOICES IN BACKGROUND
0:08:25 > 0:08:27SIREN WAILS
0:08:37 > 0:08:38Mum!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- It's going to be all right. - What's happening?
0:08:40 > 0:08:45I don't know, but I'm going to find out for you. She's in the best place possible.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Excuse me, er... PHONE RINGS IN BACKGROUND
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I think Zara's setting me up.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57She probably went to school with her,
0:08:57 > 0:08:59they played hockey together or something like that.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I don't think Zara cares that much, to be honest.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Not to go to any effort, anyway. - No, good point.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05And when Zara's out to get you,
0:09:05 > 0:09:07it happens before you know what's going on.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11I mean, it's obviously a honey trap. So what? Jimmi?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13You think Jimmi called up a beautiful woman
0:09:13 > 0:09:15just to trick you into wearing that jumper?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17No, he'd try and chat her up himself.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20So that leaves...
0:09:20 > 0:09:22you, Sidney.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Oh, my goodness, the game's afoot.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Why would you do that? I thought that we were friends.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Exactly, why would I do that?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32That would be cruel. I wouldn't do that to you.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Yeah. And you're not nearly cunning enough,
0:09:35 > 0:09:37besides which, you know that if you tried anything like this,
0:09:37 > 0:09:39I would just destroy you. So...
0:09:39 > 0:09:42I don't know. Valerie?
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Have you ever considered, that maybe,
0:09:45 > 0:09:47just maybe, that she meant what she said
0:09:47 > 0:09:50and just wanted to pay you a compliment?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52You need to stop selling yourself short, mate.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Look, I know that it can be intimidating sometimes...
0:09:55 > 0:09:56All right...
0:09:56 > 0:09:58The minute I start taking romantic advice from you
0:09:58 > 0:10:01is the moment that all hope is gone, and it hasn't, OK?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I still have some dignity left.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Fine. But if she did mean it,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08you're never going to know that unless you get out there and talk to her again.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- Is she still here?- Yeah.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14She's with Tash. Actually, I need to go and finish that appointment.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16So just make sure you're out there and talking to her. Yeah?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Oh, yeah, it's easy to give out advice, isn't it?
0:10:18 > 0:10:19What's wrong with my advice?
0:10:19 > 0:10:23When was the last time you had a successful encounter with a member of the opposite sex?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Well...- Never, that's when! - Look, that's not the point,
0:10:26 > 0:10:29the point is you'll never know unless you get out there and talk to her, so...
0:10:31 > 0:10:33DOOR CLOSES
0:10:33 > 0:10:34AL SIGHS
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Let's get him sat down.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Come on, sit down. That's it.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40All right. I'll get some help.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Yeah, and hurry up, he's making a mess.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Does it not worry you, that you've got yourself so drunk,
0:10:47 > 0:10:51that you didn't even realise that you'd been stabbed in the backside? Mm?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53What were you arguing about anyway?
0:10:53 > 0:10:56No, on second thoughts, do you know what? I don't care.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58"Good will to all men", you ever heard of that?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02All right. They won't be a minute.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05How are we doing, Archie?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07It's a good job you had your back to her, eh?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- HE SINGS WEAKLY - # On the first day of Christmas
0:11:09 > 0:11:11# My true love gave to me
0:11:11 > 0:11:13# A knife and fork in my bum cheek! #
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- Oh, pack it in, will you? - Come on, Sarge. It's a bit funny.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21Is it? No, it's not funny, not when you've been here as often as I have.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I mean, brawling is ridiculous at the best of times,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26but at Christmas? For Pete's sake.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29All right, guys.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36THE CONSTABLE WHISTLES
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- What are you doing?- Shush.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52- You're just standing there.- I know. Ignore me.- It's quite off-putting.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56- Look, Valerie, can you mind your own business, please?- Mm-hm.- Nosey.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- OK, well, um, take care now. - Thanks, bye.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Oh. Hello again.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Oh, it's the man with the shocking jumper.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Oh, you know, it compensates for the rest of me.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- You know, too much of a good thing, otherwise.- Excellent strategy.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13And it stops the staff gawking at me all day,
0:12:13 > 0:12:17- which in turn increases productivity.- Yes, I bet.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Well, you know, it's a good use of Christmas jumper day.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Oh. Is that what day it is? And nobody told me.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25You dress like this all the time, I guess?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Totally, yeah, I'll wear it to the gym.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- Get my ashtanga on. - SHE LAUGHS
0:12:29 > 0:12:32I knew you'd be funny in real life.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Real life? - Yes. Sorry, confession time.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39I saw you in the play last night as Scrooge. Loved it.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Oh, no.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Valerie, we've got another fan in the building.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Can you escort her to the front door, please?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48What can I say? You're a star.
0:12:54 > 0:12:55Not really.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02It's far less scary than it sounds, I promise you.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06And for it to happen in hospital, it's absolutely the best thing.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- Hiya. I didn't think you weren't coming till later.- Um...
0:13:09 > 0:13:10It's Jackie.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12We're still waiting to hear from the doctors,
0:13:12 > 0:13:14but she's in good hands, isn't she?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Oh, she's in the best place, definitely.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20- What are you doing here? - Oh, you know. The usual.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Drunken boyfriend and girlfriend
0:13:22 > 0:13:25having an argument in the boozer over the names of Santa's reindeers,
0:13:25 > 0:13:29- so she stabbed him in the backside with the pub cutlery.- Nice.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Standard day.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Well, there was my star turn in the school's production
0:13:39 > 0:13:41of Old MacDonald's farm.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Mrs Burke said that my sheep was the best she'd ever seen,
0:13:44 > 0:13:46and she grew up on a farm.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Well, there you go. Have you always been interested in performing arts?
0:13:49 > 0:13:53No, actually I'm an inventor. Medical innovation.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55A mad scientist?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I prefer genius scientist, cos that's closer to the truth.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Ah, goes without saying. So you are a man of many talents, then?
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Be I ever so humble.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06Mm. Why, er, Letherbridge? Why not Zurich or Harley Street?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Well, I...
0:14:08 > 0:14:10I guess I'm not interested by money.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12But you live here, right?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14So, you know, what's your reason?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Erm...
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Chicken dhansak at the Babur Balti.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- Shut up.- Mm.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24That's the Midlands' best kept secret.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26SHE LAUGHS I grew up here.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29I've tried living in other places, but I don't know,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31my compass just always swings back.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32(It's like it's my secret base.)
0:14:32 > 0:14:34You know, wherever I am in the world,
0:14:34 > 0:14:37I always feel like it's always going to be the same on my return.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Totally.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Between you and me,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- I kind like being a big fish in a small pond.- Oh, yeah.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Absolutely, I get that.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48I know however I'm doing in the world,
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I can always impress my cousins over on Greenbank.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51AL LAUGHS
0:14:51 > 0:14:55Yeah, the old coin behind the ear trick goes down really well.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56SHE GIGGLES
0:14:56 > 0:14:58So, erm...
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Is it you on your own, Dr Haskey?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Great woman behind the great man?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Mrs Dr Haskey?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Sarge, Archie's about ready to make a statement.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- It can wait, though. I'll give you a minute.- Cheers.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19- Why haven't we heard anything yet? It's bad news, isn't it?- No.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- No, it's course not.- It's a busy time of year, that's all.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Let me go and chase them up, see what I can find out.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30I forgot her scarf.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32I was so worried.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36It's OK to be worried.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Doesn't do any good, though.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42People are pretty strong, you know.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Especially when they've got a reason to pull through.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Imagine how much you would fight to see your mum again.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52But she will fight twice as hard as that, believe me.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Really?
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Really.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58It's what parents do.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08And it could've made me millions,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11but instead it was my gift to the world.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13I gave the whole thing away for free,
0:16:13 > 0:16:15the whole kit and caboodle.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18That is brilliant and benevolent too.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Mm.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Oh, wow, look at the time. I'm sorry, I've kept you ages.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- No, no, it's OK.- Mm.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Um, what are you doing this afternoon?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29I've got the afternoon off
0:16:29 > 0:16:32and I was going to see Gremlins at the Greenbank cinema.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33It's made in 1984,
0:16:33 > 0:16:35and it's probably the second best Christmas film...
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- BOTH:- ..after Die Hard.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- SHE LAUGHS - Yippee-ki-yay.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42No. Thank you, I shouldn't.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Oh, OK.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Er, listen, I should...
0:16:46 > 0:16:48probably come clean.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Come...
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Of course.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58You were put up to this. Right, who was it? Was it Jimmi? Hm?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01No, I don't know who Jimmi is.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Nobody's put me up to this.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09You're a photographer?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I'm scouting for a fashion campaign
0:17:12 > 0:17:15and I'm looking for "the man on the street."
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Characterful, confident, bold.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20And that man is me.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Well, I'm looking for somebody who's at ease with himself
0:17:23 > 0:17:27and comfortable with how he looks and is unabashed about it.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29You fit the bill, don't you?
0:17:29 > 0:17:31This isn't my jumper.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33You wear it well.
0:17:33 > 0:17:38Look, I'm sorry if I've misled you or anything.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42I tend to get carried away listening to people.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46And when you find a great subject, who can engage with,
0:17:46 > 0:17:47it's wonderful.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Listen, you should try meeting some of the models I talk to.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53It's like talking to a brick wall.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Keep the card.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Think about it.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58OK.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59I'll see you out.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Well, see you soon, I hope.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Maybe.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Psst! Psst!
0:18:13 > 0:18:15She wasn't that good looking.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20So? Did you get her number?
0:18:20 > 0:18:21A gentleman never tells.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Jack and Immie will wind each other up and they will argue like
0:18:29 > 0:18:31cat and dog and you'll think that they hate each other,
0:18:31 > 0:18:34but they don't. That's just the way they are.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37But if you do have to take sides, my money is on Immie.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39She takes after her mum.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41- You'll get on really well. - Really?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Yeah, really.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47I don't quite know how, but they've both turned out good.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48I miss them.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51It's going to be great to have them at home.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54What do you think's happened to my mum?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56It's best not to guess.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Always wait till you know for sure.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01She could be dead, couldn't she?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- WALKY-TALKY:- 8256 to 7244. Assistance required.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05A&E reception.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08I need to go.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11You stay here. Wait for Karen, yeah?
0:19:11 > 0:19:12I'm on my way.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I'll smash your head in!
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Get off!
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Hey!
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Bren?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36So what did you guys talk about?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Why is it such a big deal?
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Maybe it's some sort of a fetish.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41No.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Maybe Al's just interesting and she enjoyed his conversation.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Exactly.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48She wasn't into me, that's for sure.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50But she's into ale and Star Wars?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52What is so crazy about a lady liking Al?
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Why does there have to be some catch?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Because there was a catch, OK?
0:19:57 > 0:20:01And as much as I appreciate the chorus of support, friends,
0:20:01 > 0:20:03she had an agenda.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06She was a photographer looking for models.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09She didn't mention that to me.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Yeah, well, she was barking up the wrong tree here.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14So there you go, there's your punchline.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Al, I don't think anyone meant it like that.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Look, it's me, OK?
0:20:17 > 0:20:19There's always a punchline.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Come on, you'll be OK.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Sit down. Do you want a coffee or something?
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Bren, do you want a brew?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32You!
0:20:32 > 0:20:34How you going to get rid of me this time, then, eh?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37No-one's trying to get rid of you. We'll sort this out. Just sit down.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Think you're being all kind, don't you? Act all nice.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Not your problem!
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Let us help you. Sit down.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Go to hell!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Pigs! You're all liars!
0:20:48 > 0:20:508256 to control.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53- WALKY-TALKY:- Control received.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56I thought you were going to see Gremlins?
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Why bother?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Got my own Christmas horror show happening right here.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- Don't be like that, mate. - What do you want?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05We're all about to do that group photo,
0:21:05 > 0:21:07you know, in our Christmas jumpers. So do you want to...?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10What, so I can look back and treasure this day forever?
0:21:10 > 0:21:11No, thank you.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Look, I know the day you take romantic advice from
0:21:13 > 0:21:16me is the day hell freezes over...
0:21:16 > 0:21:17And pigs fly through it.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20But she spoke to you for ages and she didn't have to.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23I mean, she could have just said what she did and left.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26But she must have liked talking to you, and from what I could see,
0:21:26 > 0:21:31you seemed really upbeat, you were totally yourself.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33The door's behind you, mate.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36As for this whole punchline nonsense,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39no-one's thinking that, mate. Least of all, her.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41It's the big wooden obelisk behind you.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44It's got a handle and my name on the other side.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Fine.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Try and fob me off, try and pass me on.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Don't need your money! Stuff your money!
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Bren, you need to stop this, now, OK?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Pigs!
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I just want to see my girl. But you!
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Put it down! Put it down now!
0:22:05 > 0:22:06I've got nothing now!
0:22:06 > 0:22:07I'm warning you!
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Stop telling me what to do!
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- SHE SCREAMS - Drop it!
0:22:15 > 0:22:17OK, you ready?
0:22:17 > 0:22:18I'm coming in.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19CAMERA CLICKS
0:22:19 > 0:22:23- The light's gone off.- Honestly! - Do we have to do it again?
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- OK, this is the one.- OK, one more, one more. All right?
0:22:27 > 0:22:28This is the one.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30I am so sorry!
0:22:30 > 0:22:35- It's very unhygienic. I'm so sorry. - We'll have to do it again.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36- Oh, come on.- Merry Christmas.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Can you just be quick, please? - Well, I wouldn't have to keep doing
0:22:39 > 0:22:41it if you'd get it right in the first place. Emma, move in a bit.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- If I get any closer, I'll be in Valerie's pocket.- Sid, lower.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- But if I...- No, that's too low! - Come on!- Oh, give me a chance.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51For goodness' sake, people, this is a complete sham!
0:22:51 > 0:22:54If you want a proper photograph doing,
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I'm the man to talk to.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06What did they say?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Tell me.
0:23:10 > 0:23:11She had a stroke.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32You all right?
0:23:33 > 0:23:35All in a day's work, right?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38You wouldn't be saying that if she would have stuck you.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Guess not, no.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45I don't understand how they can afford to get like that.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46Do anything for a fix.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- We've seen it before.- Yeah.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50Only not with her.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Yeah, first time for everything.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56What a waste.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58We should let Ayesha know.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I'll do it.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Someone needs to break it to her gently, you know?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05It's not what you want to hear at Christmas, is it?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51How long is this actually going to take, Haskey?
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Patience.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55You know what, Zara, a Christmas jumper is supposed to be colourful.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57You look like the Milk Tray Man.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59You're on.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Right.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02OK, guys?
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Work it!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Oh, you're back early.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15Everything all right?
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Yeah.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18What is it? What's happened?
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Nothing, just a rough day at work.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22You can talk to me, you know.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I know. Just drunks trying to ruin Christmas, you know.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Well, we are going to have the best one ever, so don't sweat it.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31- I won't. - Tell you what?
0:25:31 > 0:25:34As you've been such a good boy, you can open your present now.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37SONG: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen