0:00:29 > 0:00:33# I've never felt this way about another guy
0:00:33 > 0:00:37# I hope and pray that he won't treat me cruel
0:00:37 > 0:00:41# Cos I don't want to be a broken-hearted fool
0:00:43 > 0:00:46# Mama told me to be a good girl
0:00:48 > 0:00:50# This feels so right...
0:00:50 > 0:00:51# Feels so right... #
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- ..discuss.- Hi.- Exactly.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Hi. How are you feeling?
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Better for being here.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Um...it's helped me decide that I'm going to drop out of uni.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Right.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06How can they call it Celebrity Crimpoff
0:01:06 > 0:01:08if you've never heard of any of them?
0:01:08 > 0:01:11I know! Did you see what that footballer's wife did?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13- Looked like an electrocuted poodle. - Oh, yes!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19It's worse than we thought.
0:01:19 > 0:01:24Nothing matches the anticipation of opening a book for the first time.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- That heavenly smell.- Damp and mildew?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30And you said just a few books.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Yes. The council has been a little more generous
0:01:33 > 0:01:36- than I had anticipated. - These boxes will have got to go.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38But you can't expect us to lug them around.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41- We're receptionists. - Not removal men.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50I thought I could travel more. Or move abroad. Rebuild my life.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52That all sounds very positive.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55But only if it's what you want.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58And not because of some sick games by a few idiots.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01But what choice do I have? The League are still out there.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Nobody at the uni seems to want to stop it.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Well, hopefully that's going to change.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I've got a meeting with the Vice Chancellor later and I'm going
0:02:08 > 0:02:12to challenge her about the dodgy statistics they've been putting out.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15What good's that going to do? I told you, I've already seen her.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Well, hopefully she won't be able to dismiss me as easily.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Good luck with that one. - I did warn you about the VC.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24I've crossed swords with her before.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26When I was in PR,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28she worked for a rival company.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30We were both bidding on the same contract and then the client
0:02:30 > 0:02:34found out that someone had been hacking their computers
0:02:34 > 0:02:36to get inside info.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Samantha Eustace blamed a junior.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Did he do it?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42He was a good scapegoat. He was fired.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46She was promoted for saving her company's reputation.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47She sounds charming.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50If anyone's been massaging the figures, it'll be her.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Wow.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- Al.- Hey!- So glad you could come.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03There he is. Wow! South Africa clearly agreed with you.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- When did you get back? - A month ago.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Yeah. I should have got in touch sooner,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10only there was mum's estate to sort out.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I'd have come to the funeral if I'd known.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Oh, she insisted on a private internment.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Yeah. Your mum always was really...
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Nutty? - I was going to say eccentric.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Tell me more once we've reacquainted ourselves with the snug at
0:03:23 > 0:03:24The Golden Fleece.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26That's if they haven't turned it into a gastro pub.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28When was the last time you were there?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Not since you went. That was OUR pub.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Our quest to find the golden treasure.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34It wouldn't have been right going without you.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Do you want to show me around first?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Oh, sure.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Ooh, talk about trip hazard.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46It's a health and safety nightmare.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Mrs Tembe? Can I dig in?
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Oh, please, be my guest.
0:03:50 > 0:03:55Most are of a romantic nature, but there are still a few hidden gems.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58A Tale Of Two Cities. "It was the best of times...
0:03:58 > 0:04:00"..it was the worst of times."
0:04:00 > 0:04:03You can say that again.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Ah, Dr Vere. Now, you are a child of the internet.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Yeah, I suppose.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Well, then, you must agree that dusty...
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- ..germ-infested...- ..dirty old books
0:04:13 > 0:04:16have got no place in a modern medical practice.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20When I was a teenager, do you know what one of my secret pleasures was?
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I dread to think.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23No, hiding in the library for hours.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25But you've got an e-reader.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Of course! Dozens of novels on one device? Fantastic!
0:04:29 > 0:04:30And tidy.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34But it's not the same as the feel of paper, turning the pages...
0:04:34 > 0:04:37thinking of all those people who've read those words before you.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39And the ones who will read them in the future.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42And it is a bit dodgy using an e-book in the bath.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46A good book can transport you to places you've never been before.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48It can fill your soul.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Just seems like a lot of extra work to me.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54Well, the book lending service will not start until next Monday.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Which will give you plenty of time to familiarise yourself with
0:04:58 > 0:04:59all of the titles.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00And if there are any books
0:05:00 > 0:05:03you want to borrow yourselves...please, feel free.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04I'll wait for the film, thanks.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Ah! Pride And Prejudice. A classic.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Dad had generous life insurance.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Mum got a good pay-out when he died.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17The plans you must have with this place. Games room.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- A swimming pool! - She didn't leave me the house.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22But you're an only child, right?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25All I get is a monthly allowance.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28And I get to live here, but only as a carer for the real owner.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Al Haskey,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42meet Archduke Snagglepaws.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44CAT MEOWS
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Right. So we've entered the Twilight Zone.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51This is some ultimate universe...
0:05:51 > 0:05:54where cats rule the planet.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Nice.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I suppose it shouldn't have been such a shock.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Mother always took great pleasure in telling everyone that her cat
0:06:12 > 0:06:14meant more to her than her only child.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16That's why I didn't get in touch before.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18It's embarrassing to have to admit
0:06:18 > 0:06:20you're just a factotum to a pampered puss.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22He gets to eat line-caught tuna,
0:06:22 > 0:06:24while I'm lucky to have a fish finger sandwich.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27He sleeps and pees wherever he wants. And why not?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29He owns every brick, every stick of furniture.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33It wouldn't be so bad if he was grateful, but I'm covered
0:06:33 > 0:06:34in bites and scratches.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Sometimes, I wonder if Mother hasn't been reincarnated in feline form.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42You know what would help? A few pints and some bar snacks.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Al, I'm sorry.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Don't worry if you can't afford it. Tonight it's on me.- It's not that.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Remember what happened whenever I brought a girl home?
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Yeah, your mum would go all Spanish Inquisition on them.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56But recently I met someone. Becky.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Al, she could be the one.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Right. Congratulations. But what's that got to do with me?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06We've never been able to go on a date. Mum's will states that I can't
0:07:06 > 0:07:09leave Snagglepaws alone for more than two hours.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Why doesn't this Becky girl come here?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14It's hard to get romantic when you're being watched all the time.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Right, so you want a cat sitter?
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Al, I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate. Please, Al.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25I can't lose her.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28This is all very cloak and dagger, Dr Reid.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Yes, look, Barry, the interview you gave for the university video...
0:07:32 > 0:07:34I was just doing my job.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Well, at best, you were misleading
0:07:36 > 0:07:38and at worst, you were helping to peddle lies.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I was assured that the statistics were accurate.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Look, Barry, there's evidence that offences against women are
0:07:45 > 0:07:47being suppressed.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50And I'm not just talking about the humiliation
0:07:50 > 0:07:52that victims like Valerie have suffered.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54I'm talking about sexual assault.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58What do you want from me?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I want you to help me find the true figures.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- You want me to spy on my boss? - The boss who lied.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Come on, you saw the state Rosie was in on Friday night.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Concealing the truth is putting students in danger.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14I won't have women being denigrated.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Not on my watch.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I got in all your favourite snacks.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Oh, right, you think you can bribe me with snacks?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28And the best micro-brewery ale money can buy.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31And Snagglepaws has a state-of-the-art home cinema.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Really?
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Like, projector and surround sound?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Yeah, you'll think you're in the multiplex.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I've even got your favourite film.
0:08:39 > 0:08:44Well, it's not my favourite - probably top 25.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47But this doesn't make up for you standing me up for some girl.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49DOORBELL RINGS
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Al, you're the only person I can trust with this.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Al.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- Becky.- Hi.- Hello.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Thank you so much for doing this.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Best go do the checks.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Checks?
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Yeah. She lives down the road.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21She used to pop in and see if Mum needed anything.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25That's why Mum made Becky the executor of her will.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Right. And she has to make sure you're following Mum's instructions?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Something like that.- And what if she thinks you're not obeying orders?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34She could get my allowance suspended.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Right, so your sole means of income is in the hands of that girl?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- Yes, but I don't mind.- Really?
0:09:39 > 0:09:43Well, OK, at first, it did feel like Mum was controlling me from
0:09:43 > 0:09:47beyond the grave, but during Becky's inspections, well,
0:09:47 > 0:09:49we fell in love.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Where are you taking this girl on this date?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57No! You're not taking her to our pub?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59It's got to be somewhere special.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06So, Al...mate?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Mate, what choice have I got?
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Thank you so much - I knew you wouldn't let me down. Thank you.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Here.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15What's this?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17It's mother's cat care manual.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20You need to follow the instructions to the letter.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25We're going to be late. Thank you so much, bye.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Bye, Al. Bye.
0:10:37 > 0:10:43This is the life. We've got snacks, real ale and we've got
0:10:43 > 0:10:45the quintessential zombie film, Night Of The Living Dead.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Life does not get better than this. Cheers!
0:10:48 > 0:10:50ALARMS RING
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Great Scott!
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Alarms? A load of alarms.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00"Alarm one.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02"Lap time.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05"50 strokes, head to tail."
0:11:07 > 0:11:08Think we can do that.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Head to tail.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13One, two...
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Feel good?
0:11:15 > 0:11:16Three.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Crisp?
0:11:19 > 0:11:24These are fake bacon, or as I like to call them, "facon".
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Good, yeah?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Rob, it's Emma.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Listen, I need to talk to you about something.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37You know Rosie Griffiths?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40She was brought in for criminal damage on Friday.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45No, no, no, I'm not trying to plead her case.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48But there is something else you could help me with.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Right, five minutes more, then I'm going back to Romero.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Hm, it's thirsty work, all this walkies business, isn't it?
0:12:06 > 0:12:11Are you the kind of cat that likes ice-cold pale ale? Are you?
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Tell you what...
0:12:16 > 0:12:19you wait here
0:12:19 > 0:12:22and I'll be back with a little treat.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27And if you behave yourself, I might let you try a bit.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29But only if you behave yourself.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- KNOCK AT DOOR - Come in.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- Ah, Dr Reid.- Hello. - Good to see you again.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43We met at the charity gala last year, didn't we?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Yes, we did, well remembered.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Thank you for seeing me at such short notice.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50The faculty and the Campus Surgery are a partnership.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52We train the brains, you look after the bodies and minds.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Please, take a seat.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58- Tea? Coffee? - Um, well, tea would be lovely.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59- Clare?- Milk? Sugar?
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Just milk, thanks.- OK.- Thank you.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07Something tells me this is going to become your new favourite thing.
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Wait till you get...
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Oh, no.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Where have you gone to?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Cat! Cat! CAT!
0:13:17 > 0:13:18PHONE RINGS
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Hey! Hey, mate. How's the date going?
0:13:25 > 0:13:29Soul mates? Oh! I'm really pleased for you. Congratulations.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32No, yeah, the Archduke is great.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34We're practically inseparable,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37so don't you worry about rushing back for him.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38OK, bye.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Cat! Archie!
0:13:41 > 0:13:44MUSIC: The Love Cats by The Cure
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Co... Hold up!
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I've brought you another pale ale. Come here!
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Right, come out here this second.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Don't stare at me like that.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05I'm not going to come in after you.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Come on.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09I wouldn't advise starting a battle of wits with me,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11because I'll win, OK?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Delicious dinner.
0:14:15 > 0:14:20Mmm, look at that! With chicken AND duck!
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Ohh! Wow, that's amazing... Come on.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26What's this crawling up the wall?
0:14:26 > 0:14:27It's a mouse!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Woof, woof!
0:14:33 > 0:14:36HE HOWLS
0:14:48 > 0:14:50We are no longer friends.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55All I hear are good things about the surgery.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Mental Health Awareness Day, advice booklets for freshers...
0:14:58 > 0:15:00So, what can I do for you?
0:15:01 > 0:15:05I'm concerned about sex crimes and abusive behaviour towards
0:15:05 > 0:15:07women on the campus.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Mm. It's an issue affecting the whole of higher education.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13And as one of the few female Vice Chancellors, it's one
0:15:13 > 0:15:15I'm determined to tackle.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19If that's the case, then why do your own figures underreport the issue?
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I think you must be mistaken.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- I'm sure I'm not.- What about all the changes I've made?
0:15:24 > 0:15:28- Such as?- Improved lighting in public places, warning notices about
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- unacceptable behaviour.- And you really believe that's enough?
0:15:33 > 0:15:34Florentine?
0:15:34 > 0:15:35Thank you, no.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Things have moved on since we were undergrads.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Can you imagine if we'd reported every time a lad touched
0:15:44 > 0:15:45our bums in the union bar?
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Yes, but now there's a new breed of pervert, one who can
0:15:49 > 0:15:52humiliate a woman using the World Wide Web.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54But what can we do if grown women are foolish enough
0:15:54 > 0:15:57to put themselves in compromising positions?
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Once it's out there, it's out there for good.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Anyone could put my name into a search engine and see compromising
0:16:03 > 0:16:05photos taken of me without my permission.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09A schoolgirl error, not keeping her camera phone out of the bedroom.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13I'm a grown woman, and thankfully I can deal with it,
0:16:13 > 0:16:17but the people here are supposed to be under your protection.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I think they're old enough to know what they're doing.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Besides, going to uni isn't all about lectures and exams.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26It should also be about personal development, new experiences.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28And letting sexual predators off the hook?
0:16:28 > 0:16:31PHONE BEEPS Discouraging victims from reporting it
0:16:31 > 0:16:34by publishing misleading statistics?
0:16:34 > 0:16:38I'm sure you don't mean to make unsupported allegations, Dr Reid.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43That could get you into even more trouble.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46You're right. I don't have any proof.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52- But they do.- I'm terribly sorry. - It's OK, Clare.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Please. Come in.
0:17:04 > 0:17:1148...49...50.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Right, that's your lot for another hour.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Come on, dude, budge up a bit, you're heavy.
0:17:18 > 0:17:19Dude, you're giving me a dead leg.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Snagglepaws, budge up.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Snagglepaws?
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Oh, no.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:17:53 > 0:17:58Come on. Come on, man, you've got so much to live for.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02What have I done?
0:18:05 > 0:18:06I've committed felicide.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Sorry, I haven't read Fifty Shades Of Grey.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11What? No. I've killed my mate's cat.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Well, it's dropped down dead anyway.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- Every time a cat dies, the angels weep.- I need a replacement cat,
0:18:17 > 0:18:21a lookalike. I thought, "Valerie will know someone or somewhere,
0:18:21 > 0:18:25"she'll know a rescue centre or Valerie will know a cat farm."
0:18:25 > 0:18:30- Cat farm?- Please, I'm desperate. - Well, you're wasting your time.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34I can't be remembered as the man who killed Mum's cat.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36- Tuppence the tortoise.- What?
0:18:36 > 0:18:41That's the first pet I lost. He didn't wake up from hibernation.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Dad knew how much I loved him, so he went to the pet shop
0:18:44 > 0:18:46and got once that looked exactly the same.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47They could have been twins.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Did you ever find out? - I knew straightaway.- How?
0:18:51 > 0:18:55From his walk... the way he munched his lettuce,
0:18:55 > 0:19:00the special little sparkle in his eye. To you, a cat's just a cat.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02But to your friend he's part of the family.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04It's like me saying I could replace
0:19:04 > 0:19:07- your granny and you wouldn't notice. - So, what do I do?
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Well, tell the truth, and don't try to sugar-coat it.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13It'll only hurt more if you drag it out.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17- All right, thanks, Valerie. - Good luck.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23What's this?
0:19:23 > 0:19:26That is the number of patients that come to the Campus Surgery
0:19:26 > 0:19:30as the result of a sexual assault or sexual abuse.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34They present with stress and insomnia, wanting STI tests.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Fascinating, I'm sure.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39But as our internal survey shows, the overwhelming majority
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- of female students feel very safe here.- According to who?
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Our sources are, of course, anonymous.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Yes. Very. So we've carried out our own little study.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52But we couldn't find a single student who's actually seen
0:19:52 > 0:19:54this so-called survey, let alone filled it in.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58Well, if that's all your evidence...
0:19:59 > 0:20:02That's from the police.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05It's their assessment of the number of sexual assaults involving
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Letherbridge Uni students in the last 12 months.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11But our survey by the Campus Security Team shows that
0:20:11 > 0:20:12sexual assaults are down by 20%.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Well, those are the figures that you've released to the public.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21That's the real figure. From Campus Security.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24It shows a rise of 25%.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26How did you get this?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28What you should be more concerned about
0:20:28 > 0:20:30is what we're going to do with it?
0:20:30 > 0:20:34You have to understand, my job here is to help promote the university
0:20:34 > 0:20:35in a very competitive market.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39It's not just a case of attracting the top students - we also
0:20:39 > 0:20:41need to bring in business investment.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44The safety of your students must come before the reputation
0:20:44 > 0:20:46of your institution.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49If that reputation is tarnished, there won't be any students.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51No students, no Campus Surgery.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Well, now's your chance to set the record straight.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55You won't get another one.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Well, thank you very much.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00I'll take all of this under advisement.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02We had a feeling you might say that.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Roly...I've some bad news.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09It's the Archduke.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12He is no more.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14No, no, no. It's the Archduke.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19He's left us, mate. Yeah. That's it.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Be strong but, you know, with a bit of sensitivity.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24You can do this. Just think gravitas.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25FRONT DOOR CLOSES
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Hey! Oh, wow! There they are! What a couple!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33So, how was the old Fleece?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Bet that place hasn't changed one bit.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Hey, you've got him to sleep. He must really like you.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- I'm going to go and use the little girl's room.- OK.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45I've saved him same lamb shank.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Shall we go through to the kitchen? Cos there's a couple of beers left.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50You didn't finish the beers? What's going on?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Mate, it was very peaceful.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Yeah, you can hear the traffic sometimes.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Mate, you can finally shake off the shackles of maternal control.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Are you sure you haven't drunk too much?
0:22:02 > 0:22:06It's the Archduke - he has chased his last mouse.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10I'm so sorry, mate.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13We've seen your promotional video.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Dr Reid is going to be one of its stars.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Oh, no, she isn't. But it was very clever -
0:22:18 > 0:22:20trying to get an endorsement from a victim of the very sexism
0:22:20 > 0:22:23you're trying to sweep under the carpet.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Is your little production a true depiction of what female students
0:22:26 > 0:22:27experience here?
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Cos we don't think so.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31So we've been working on a more...realistic version,
0:22:31 > 0:22:33with the help of your own film-maker.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Here's the trailer.
0:22:37 > 0:22:43'The University of Letherbridge. A respected seat of learning.
0:22:44 > 0:22:49'A caring, safe environment, where all students are treated
0:22:49 > 0:22:50'with respect.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54'A forward-thinking establishment that is supportive towards women...
0:22:57 > 0:23:00'..and where students get lots of feedback.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04'The University of Letherbridge.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07'Why WOULDN'T you send your daughter here?'
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Who's seen this?
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Just you...for now.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19But with one click, it can be all over the internet.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Yes, and, well, once it's out there...
0:23:26 > 0:23:30He's ruled my life, bit me, scratched.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31He's left fur balls in my bed.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36What am I going to do without him?
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Snagglepaws?
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Oh, yeah, he's just having a bit of a catnap, bless him.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47He's dead!
0:23:47 > 0:23:48I'll inform the solicitor's.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Goodbye, old friend.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- His heart.- Yeah, it was probably a cardiac arrest.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01No, no, no, I can feel it.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03What?
0:24:05 > 0:24:08- Well?- Wow.
0:24:08 > 0:24:13It's thready, but there's definitely a beat. My CPR totally worked.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15How could you not realise he was still alive?
0:24:15 > 0:24:18I don't know! I'm used to human pulses! I'm a GP,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20I don't generally deal with a feline.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24OK, OK. Snagglepaws, I take it back.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27You can bite and scratch as much as you like.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29And I love your fur balls.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30He's not out of the woods yet.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Let's put him in the recovery position.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35- Shouldn't we call a vet? - What if we do nothing?
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- You heard Al, he could still die. - Yeah, well, he's had a good life.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- What?- He's got to go sometime, yeah?
0:24:40 > 0:24:44And when he does, all this will be yours.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45You want me to kill Mum's cat?
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Not kill. Let go.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Do you not want to live with me?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55I don't think now is exactly the time for a debate.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57It was Snagglepaws who brought us together.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Yeah, well, it's Snagglepaws that's keeping us apart.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Just do what you can.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Would your mother want him to be put through this?
0:25:05 > 0:25:06She'd want me to try everything.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08What if he doesn't make a full recovery?
0:25:08 > 0:25:11If he needs extra care, there won't be any time for us.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13- Come on, Snagglepaws. - My nan's ginger lived to be 22.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15I can't wait another ten years!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Heartbeat's definitely getting stronger.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Oh, yes!
0:25:18 > 0:25:23Really, Roly? Are you choosing a cat over me?!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Becky, was it only ever about the money?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28A million pounds wouldn't keep me here.
0:25:31 > 0:25:36I'd say he's got eight lives left, but he's going to make it.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Thank you, thank you.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Looks like it's just going to be the two of us again.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45I take it you have a list of demands.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Yes. Firstly, we'd like you to publish the real statistics.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51And we'd like Letherbridge University to work closely
0:25:51 > 0:25:54with the police and the Campus Surgery and counselling services.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57And we'd like you to expel any perpetrators.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Including Max Bauman and his league of perverts.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02So it's blackmail.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04That's such an ugly word, isn't it?
0:26:04 > 0:26:07But in this case, unlike your statistics,
0:26:07 > 0:26:09totally accurate.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Florentine?
0:26:13 > 0:26:14- KNOCK AT DOOR - Come in.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Ah, Miss Pitman, Mrs Hollins.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21We've had a bit of a think.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24I knew you would come round in the end.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25I'm actually owed some annual leave.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28And me some time off in lieu.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- So we're going to take a week off. - Starting next Monday.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35The day that the book-lending service begins?
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- Oh, it's just a coincidence. - Good luck with it, though.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48Went with the old, "Are you sure you're not a model?"
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Works every time!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Max Bauman?
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Yeah. What's up? Someone dropped some litter?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01The Vice Chancellor wants a word...
0:27:02 > 0:27:03..now!
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Why is there a bookcase here, full of scruffy old books?
0:27:29 > 0:27:33- Please, get rid of him! - I can't do that, it's not my place!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Look, you've made this bed, now you've got to lie in it.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39Where do you think you're going?
0:27:39 > 0:27:43- Get off me!- Come on! Keep this civil.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44Stop it!