0:00:29 > 0:00:33# I was blind, now I can see
0:00:33 > 0:00:38# You made a believer out of me
0:00:38 > 0:00:39# I'm movin' on up now
0:00:42 > 0:00:44- ZARA:- # Gettin' out of the darkness
0:00:47 > 0:00:50# My light shines on
0:00:50 > 0:00:53# My light shines on
0:00:53 > 0:00:56# My light shines on... #
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Welcome to Full Moon Reservation!
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- DANIEL CHUCKLES - You've got to be kidding me.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Is that your mate?
0:01:02 > 0:01:04I don't know. Dave?
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Oh, I've not been Dave for years, Jimbo! It's Skip now.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Skip Stone. Good to see you.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12- All right?- Look at you, boys!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Must have been a little cosy in there.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Thought you'd cuddle-up, have a bit of a cootch?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Yeah, a last-minute change of plan, it was his fault.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Yeah, long story.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Well, you're here now and we're heading into the big,
0:01:23 > 0:01:24beautiful wild.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Plenty of space out there. Come on, follow me!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Whose idea was this?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32I am so sorry.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33DANIEL CHUCKLES
0:01:36 > 0:01:41Deep breaths, boys. That is the perfume of Mother Earth.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47He's a madman. Where does Jimmi know him from, again?
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I think they know each other at sixth form, something like that.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52It's no excuse. Remind me to give Jimmi a slap.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53DANIEL CHUCKLES
0:01:53 > 0:01:55What's with the bear skin?
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Picked it up at the car boot. Thought it was perfect
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- for this weekend. What do you think? - A bit musty.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Yeah, I thought that.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03I chucked a bit of carpet freshener at it, but you know,
0:02:03 > 0:02:05still good for setting the scene, eh?
0:02:05 > 0:02:06What is the scene, by the way?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Well, Jimbo rang and gave me free range to do whatever I wanted.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I was chuffed cos there's something I'd been desperate to try,
0:02:11 > 0:02:13but not had chance.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15So you guys are going to be my guinea pigs.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Brace yourselves, boys, I'm going to be experimenting on you.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20Doing what?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22The possibilities are endless.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27This beautiful countryside is mine, but for two days it's yours,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30too, and we can do whatever the hell we want.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31All this land is yours?
0:02:31 > 0:02:35Ah, I wish! My parents. But they're not interested. Retired.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Living it up in Tobago.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I don't farm, though, not my thing.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Make more than enough money using the land doing what I really want to do.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45And what is it you really want to do?
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Whatever I want. I run all sorts of courses here.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Climbing, kayaking, bit of glamping, bit of camping, you know?
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I'm not keen on tents.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Don't worry, big fella, no tents here, promise.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58But we are bringing our bags into the woods?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Ah, spotted that, did you?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Fear not, gentle travellers,
0:03:02 > 0:03:05tonight you are being put up at The Spread Eagle.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07A palace amongst palaces.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I'm sure we'll be fine as long as they serve real ale, eh, Al?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Al?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15No, this guinea pig refuses to take one more step until
0:03:15 > 0:03:18he finds out why he's walking into the middle of the woods.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19- Come on.- No, Jimmi.
0:03:19 > 0:03:24All right, boysies, let's not get our knickers into a twisties.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26It's no big secret.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31We're off to embrace Mother Earth on a most profound level.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Meaning...?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I'm going to change your lives.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37You're going to experience the fundamental truth of
0:03:37 > 0:03:38a Native American sweat lodge.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40What?
0:03:40 > 0:03:44He is making us go into the middle of this wood to participate in
0:03:44 > 0:03:49a New Age, naked, sweaty, male-bonding naked sweaty session.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51And I for one say, no, thank you.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Don't worry. I'll be looking out for you.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56I'll get him.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Al!
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Thanks, Ayesha, I'll do my best. All right, bye.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Hardly a latte, but it'll do.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Thanks.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10I can't believe you actually made a CD.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13There's some quite good stuff on here, all the Manchester stuff.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- You know, Britpop.- I know.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Some quite naff stuff, too, though.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Like what?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Modjo - Lady (Hear Me Tonight)?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24That was from my clubbing days.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27I used to love dancing to that.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29You were a clubber?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Had my moments.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32What?
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Nothing, that's just not my thing, that's all.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37What was your thing?
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Oh, it doesn't matter.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39I told you.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Fine. Rock.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45You were a rock chick?!
0:04:45 > 0:04:47I had my moments.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53So, what did Ayesha say?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56When?
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Just now. On the phone.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59I heard you. "I'll do my best."
0:04:59 > 0:05:04Well, we'd been chatting about how I was going to survive this trip.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07And we decided that in order to save my sanity,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10I should just agree with everything you say.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Well, that's unfair.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15You can't pre-judge the trip. You can't pre-judge me like that.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17You did ask.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20You make me sound like I'm a controlling monster.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22You said it.
0:05:22 > 0:05:23I am not controlling!
0:05:23 > 0:05:24All right, OK.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Come on, we need to get going, otherwise we'll be late.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29SHE SIGHS
0:05:33 > 0:05:39This sacred land is home to your Native American sweat lodge.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44It resides between the posts of the white north of courage,
0:05:44 > 0:05:50the red east of wisdom, the black west of your family's spirits,
0:05:50 > 0:05:54and the yellow south of healing.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00Tomorrow's ceremony will be unique to each of you.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03It will purify your mind, body,
0:06:03 > 0:06:09and heart, returning you to the womb of Mother Earth.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14Before entering the lodge each of you shall have to connect with
0:06:14 > 0:06:16yourself and each other.
0:06:16 > 0:06:21It is through this connection that you will ultimately come to
0:06:21 > 0:06:25better understand your place in the Universe.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Give me strength.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28You promised.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Skip, where is this sweat lodge?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Right here. You just haven't built it yet.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38These are your tools.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Mother Earth will provide the materials.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43The rest is up to you.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45So, we're building the sweat lodge?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Yes!
0:06:46 > 0:06:47With your help, though, yeah?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50These days are about you, not me.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53I will enable you but you will need to choose a leader.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Someone you can rely on to impart my knowledge.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57I nominate Sid.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- SID LAUGHS - No chance.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00I nominate Sid as well.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Jimmi! Stop it, mate. I don't want to do it.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04It'll be good for you.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I don't care. Daniel, you're a natural leader.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09People want to follow you. They usually just leave me behind.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Please, mate.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12No, I was a leader in that zombie thing.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13I nominate Sid as well.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15I'm not doing it!
0:07:15 > 0:07:17The decision has already been made.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22By the end of this day each of you shall have each earnt your
0:07:22 > 0:07:23animal name.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26But for now you alone have that honour.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I name you...leader.
0:07:36 > 0:07:41I name you...Lion King.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42Ah!
0:07:47 > 0:07:49JIMMI CHORTLES
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It's dead.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Do you think(?)
0:07:54 > 0:07:56"I think" it's an electrical fault.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59It's why the lights went off and why the GPS went down.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01It had nothing to do with my prodding!
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I apologised about that!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05I'm just saying.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07What now?
0:08:08 > 0:08:12OK, we walk down that hill to get help.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- I saw a house.- I didn't.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Well, I did. Come on.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17It'll be an adventure.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Some adventure.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Move!
0:08:20 > 0:08:22I've got flats in my bag if you need them?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25I would rather die.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28SHE SIGHS
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Dig the tarpaulin in here and here, OK?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40I think so.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42What's your name?
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Sid.
0:08:44 > 0:08:45No.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Oh. Lion King.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51You've got this. They'll listen.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53You've just got to believe in yourself.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54OK.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Good, then say it.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00I believe.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Good. I'll see you in a few hours.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05But... Where are you going?!
0:09:05 > 0:09:06I've got stuff to do.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08You can't just leave us.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10You've all the tools you need.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Yeah, but...
0:09:11 > 0:09:12What?
0:09:12 > 0:09:14What if we need the toilet?
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Find a tree.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19What if we need more than just a pee?
0:09:36 > 0:09:40So we haven't found the house, then?
0:09:40 > 0:09:41No.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44And we don't know where we are?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Apparently not.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48EMMA LAUGHS
0:09:49 > 0:09:51What's so funny?
0:09:51 > 0:09:54This is! It's a disaster.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Any joy?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00No, nothing. It's a proper piccalilli.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Excuse me?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05It's what my mum used to say when things didn't go according to plan.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07A proper piccalilli.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08A proper piccalilli.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Yes. A piccalilli that is proper.
0:10:11 > 0:10:12SHE LAUGHS
0:10:12 > 0:10:14That's ridiculous!
0:10:16 > 0:10:19We're on our way. Yay!
0:10:19 > 0:10:20It's a start.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22It's a start, yeah.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24He's not playing much, is he, boss?
0:10:24 > 0:10:25I'll get him.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30He's getting excited about a circle in the dirt.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Ah, well, yeah, you know.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Give him a chance.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36How did you get Al to come back to us?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38I told him that we are all here for Sid and that he would regret
0:10:38 > 0:10:41it forever if he walked away from this bonding experience.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43- He didn't fall for that? - No, he didn't.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I had to tell him that he didn't have to take part in
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- the ceremony and that I'd buy all the beers at The Spread Eagle. - That makes more sense.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50So, now we're on the second stage of the build now, which involves...
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Eight fatalities.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53What?
0:10:53 > 0:10:54In the last 20 years,
0:10:54 > 0:10:58eight westerners have died trying to build a sweat lodge.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Heat exhaustion,
0:11:00 > 0:11:04dehydration and, if the rocks are too wet or dry, they can explode.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Ka-boom! Goodbye, cruel universe.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Al...
0:11:07 > 0:11:10What? Just stating facts in a dramatic fashion.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Well, don't say "facts" in any kind of fashion, eh, Sid?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Right, yeah, we are...
0:11:18 > 0:11:20On the second stage of the build?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Yes. Thank you. Which involves wood.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23We need wood.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24Wood. Woopdidoo(!) I'll get it.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28# I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK... #
0:11:28 > 0:11:29We only need branches, Al.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33# I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra... #
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Al... Al...
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Don't worry, I'll tell him.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42OK, sorry for being grumpy.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Oh, it's all right.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47It's not, though, really, is it?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48I can be such a...
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Cowbag?
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Cowbag. All right, yeah.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Why are women so competitive in friendships?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58I'm not.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00What's that supposed to mean?
0:12:00 > 0:12:03I've got loads of friends who are women who I'm not competitive with.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Who?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Well, Niamh and Ayesha, for starters.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08You're not competitive with them?!
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Why would I be? They're my friends.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Were you competitive with Lena?
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Sorry...
0:12:17 > 0:12:18What now?!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I'm going to be the leader now.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Because you are just a cowbag.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- That should be enough now, I reckon.- Yeah.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31Beats work, doesn't it?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Yeah. So tranquil out here.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Anywhere's tranquil without Valerie.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40You know she only talks so much because she's insecure?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I just wish she'd talk to someone else.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45You're Daniel Granger. Having to beat them off with a stick
0:12:45 > 0:12:48just comes with the territory, doesn't it?
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Have you got a girlfriend at the moment?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52I wish.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Why not?
0:12:53 > 0:12:56If I knew that, I wouldn't be without a girlfriend, wouldn't I?
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Why do you think?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I don't know? What is this, 20 questions?
0:13:05 > 0:13:10I don't know. I guess some women just find me annoying,
0:13:10 > 0:13:12others think I work too hard.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15My mum and dad cracked it,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17but I don't think I ever will.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18CREAKING
0:13:18 > 0:13:21AL AND JIMMI: Timber!
0:13:21 > 0:13:23AL DOES TARZAN YODEL
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- That was like Bear Grylls!- That was more like Grizzly Adams, mate!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30What have you done?! That's not a branch, is it?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Oh, it doesn't matter!
0:13:32 > 0:13:35- I thought you were telling him? - I was going to. But then, you know...- It was taking too long.
0:13:35 > 0:13:36This way was much more fun.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38"More fun", ha-ha-ha!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41But we don't need it! You just killed a tree for no reason!
0:13:41 > 0:13:43I thought he was the hippy around here.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44But you can't ...
0:13:44 > 0:13:45But nothing, Sidney.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47The man who spends his life dressed as a bear
0:13:47 > 0:13:50so that Mother Nature will provide for you and she has.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53She's provided us with the means to make the mother of all sweat lodges.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Come on, you two, put your backs into it.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Drag this beast back to the clearing.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05BULL BELLOWS
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Did you hear that?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08I'm not deaf!
0:14:08 > 0:14:10I cannot believe that you made me do this!
0:14:10 > 0:14:14I don't do off-piste. I don't do animals!
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- The animals are in another field! - You don't know that!
0:14:17 > 0:14:21There could be a bull over the brow of that hill preparing to charge!
0:14:21 > 0:14:24The sign for Chitting-whatever-the-hell-it-is
0:14:24 > 0:14:25said over there!
0:14:25 > 0:14:27They're hardly likely to put a bull in a field that's
0:14:27 > 0:14:29a public footpath, are they?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31I don't know, because I don't watch Countryfile.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32BULL BELLOWS
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- Did you hear that?! - Yes! Stop asking me that!
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- It's getting closer! - No, it's not!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38It's following us. Maybe it can smell my fear!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Then perhaps we should move...
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Look, what I'm wearing! I'm a sitting target.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45People have been killed by cows!
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Then perhaps we should move a little faster.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49BULL BELLOWS
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Head for that gate, it's nearer.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52I hate you so much!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Then start channelling that hate and run!
0:14:55 > 0:14:56I hate you!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58BULL BELLOWS
0:14:58 > 0:14:59I hate you!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Ah! Oh!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I hate you so much right now!
0:15:09 > 0:15:10EMMA LAUGHS
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Have I mentioned that I hate you?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Once or twice. Keep saying it if it helps.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17EMMA LAUGHS
0:15:17 > 0:15:19And I hate people laughing at me.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23I'm not laughing at you. Well, all right, maybe a little bit.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24BULL BELLOWS
0:15:24 > 0:15:26And I hate that bull.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29I'm going to buy that bull and I am going to eat him steak by steak!
0:15:29 > 0:15:31BULL BELLOWS AND CAR APPROACHES
0:15:31 > 0:15:34- What's that?- It's a car. It's a car!
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Hello. Thank you so much for stopping.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41We really need some help...
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Dang, girl. Look at you! All messed up.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Yes, well, we've had a bit of bother.
0:15:46 > 0:15:51You see, our car's broken down and so we would really appreciate a lift...
0:15:51 > 0:15:53A lift?
0:15:53 > 0:15:57Yes, to a garage. Or at least to somewhere where our phones will work...
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Not happening.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I'm sorry? What's not happening?
0:16:00 > 0:16:04That ain't coming nowhere near my car.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07How dare you talk to me like that!
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Blud crew, it talks!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10THEY LAUGH
0:16:10 > 0:16:12You need to learn some manners!
0:16:12 > 0:16:14And you need to chill your ting.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18You'll have a heart attack and you got a lot of walking to do.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Bumpkin chavs!
0:16:21 > 0:16:22You what?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24We have had a hell of a day.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27And we would so appreciate...
0:16:27 > 0:16:28Argh!
0:16:28 > 0:16:29THEY LAUGH
0:16:37 > 0:16:41There we go. A central support pillar. A far better system.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42We'll be done in no time.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- I don't think it's what we're supposed to do. - Yeah, chill out, Simba.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52I know you're annoyed with me because we came in Daniel's car
0:16:52 > 0:16:55and it broke, but that wasn't my fault.
0:16:55 > 0:17:02And it wasn't my fault that the Boyz n the Hood wouldn't give us a lift.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05If you want to punish me, punish me by talking to me.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Call me a cowbag again. I can handle that.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19I was a cowbag last week to Valerie. I don't know why I do it.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27I wish I was more like you. I'm jealous of you.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30People like you. They don't like me. Not really.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34You have friends. People who ask you out.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Patients who like you. I don't have anyone.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40The only men I've been with
0:17:40 > 0:17:44have only been with me because the sex was good.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48The only people in the world who like me
0:17:48 > 0:17:52are my dad and Daniel and Joe.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Just three people in the whole world.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00Shut up. Shut up. Just shut up!
0:18:00 > 0:18:01SHE SIGHS
0:18:01 > 0:18:07Zara, people would like you if you just showed that you cared.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09That you're human, like the rest of us.
0:18:09 > 0:18:14That your perfect little life with Daniel, Joe, your career,
0:18:14 > 0:18:17the house, wasn't quite so perfect!
0:18:17 > 0:18:20That you struggle like the rest of us.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22It's not rocket science!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Jealous? Jealous of me?!
0:18:27 > 0:18:30I'm the monster. Not you!
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I destroy everything and everyone.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35They either leave me in pieces or they die.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37If I could swap lives with you,
0:18:37 > 0:18:39right now, I would do it in an instant!
0:18:39 > 0:18:43You don't mean that. Your life is...
0:18:43 > 0:18:47My life? What? What is my life?!
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Two weeks ago all I wanted to do was drown in a sea of nothingness,
0:18:52 > 0:18:54so I swallowed some pills.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57That's my life.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Don't.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09OK, OK.
0:19:12 > 0:19:13Hello.
0:19:15 > 0:19:20- Hello!- Hi.- Hello.- You two look like you've had better days?
0:19:20 > 0:19:24We have. Our car broke down,
0:19:24 > 0:19:26and our phones don't work.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28They won't, not here. No signal.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30You're in a black spot.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32That's an understatement.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33What happened to your clothes?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39A cow incident.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Oh, sorry, you don't have cows, do you?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45No. I have sheep.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48I like sheep.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Good!
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Look, we need a phone. And a drink.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57There's nothing around here but my farm.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59You can call from there, if you like.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Great.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Hop in.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Hold tight.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21That is nothing like I showed you.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24There's a ruddy tree in there, what were you thinking?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28You were the leader.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30It was your responsibility to get it built properly.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35We just went along with a new design, didn't we?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38New design? Problem with the old one, was there?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41We thought it would work just as well, didn't we, Al?
0:20:41 > 0:20:42No scapegoating.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47That is not a Native American sweat lodge. It's an abomination.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Oh, well.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Let's call it a day and go to the pub, then.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52We really can't use it?
0:20:52 > 0:20:54I just said, didn't I?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57We're all pretty knackered.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00So maybe we should just go to the pub, have a drink and come back tomorrow.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02- Could do.- Agreed. Skip, do you want to lead the way?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04We've not heard from Lion King yet.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Hakuna Matata.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Lion King, what do you want to do?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Where is he?
0:21:15 > 0:21:19I've just seen him coming out of the barn.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21What is he doing in there?! He's supposed to be getting us a drink.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I don't know, maybe he's getting us more clothes.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26You do look good in tweed, you know.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Stop it. I don't like this at all.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30It's all getting a bit Wolf Creek.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33He's harmless. He's just a lonely farmer.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Who collects tea towels.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Just because he collects tea towels doesn't mean that he's a psycho killer.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Anybody who collects anything has the potential to be a psycho killer.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43I collect wine bottles.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Anyway, you'll be all right - he likes you. You're well in there.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49(Shut up.)
0:21:49 > 0:21:53Here we go. Sit yourselves down.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Oh!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Tea in the pot and sandwiches.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Mother said I should.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04Your mother's here?
0:22:04 > 0:22:07No. She's in Dumfries and Galloway. Dead.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10But she always insisted I showed politeness to guests.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12You look very good in her things.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Thank you. It's awfully nice of you to lend them to me.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Oh, no, they're yours to keep.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22I have no use for them.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I couldn't...
0:22:24 > 0:22:27You can. And you shall.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28OK, that's very kind.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31She does look good in them, doesn't she?
0:22:31 > 0:22:32She does.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34HE LAUGHS
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Look, Graham, we really need to book that taxi now.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Could you show us where your phone is?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Oh, yes, of course. Just let me get changed.
0:22:42 > 0:22:43I want to show you something.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48He wants to show us something.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Welcome to Wolf Creek.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54SHE LAUGHS
0:22:59 > 0:23:01We could be in the pub.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Skip'll be back in a couple of hours.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I repeat. We could be in the pub!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Well, we're not. We're doing this.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09What were you thinking? It's a complete waste of time.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I was thinking I didn't want to fail.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14I want to do this thing properly and be proud of what we've done.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16I was proud of it.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17No, you weren't!
0:23:17 > 0:23:21You haven't wanted anything to do with this from the beginning. You set it up to fail.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23And I don't want to.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25I'm better then that, we all are.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27If you want to go, just go.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30But if you're going to stay, you're going to have to put a sock in it, all right?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37HE PLAYS BAGPIPES BADLY
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Well?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Lovely, have you been playing long?
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Since I was a child but it's been a while since I've had them out
0:23:54 > 0:23:55of the barn.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57What did you think?
0:23:58 > 0:24:02It's a very particular skill.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Thank you.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08My parents were very proud of their heritage.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11And I try to keep it alive whenever I get the chance.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13That's great, but, Graham...
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Do you think we can could that taxi now?
0:24:16 > 0:24:21No! I mean, yes, of course...
0:24:21 > 0:24:23..but later?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27You've only just arrived.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Graham, we've been here for over an hour.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35But I made sandwiches. And you've not touched them!
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Well, I'm starving. I'll have one.
0:24:40 > 0:24:45Mm! Interesting flavour. What is it?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Shrimp paste.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Shrimp paste?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Oh, dear. I'm not very good with crustaceans.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53What's the matter?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55- I have a...a...- Seafood allergy?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Severe.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Severe seafood allergy.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Oh, my goodness, what do we do?
0:25:02 > 0:25:03She needs to go to a hospital.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05She could go into anaphylactic shock.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07How do you know that?!
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Because I'm a doctor. - It's what I do.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11EMMA RETCHES
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I don't like doctors. I've never liked doctors.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Graham, we need a taxi as soon as possible.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19- Call us a taxi!- All right, I'll call one.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20EMMA GASPS AND WHEEZES
0:25:20 > 0:25:22OK, you can stop now.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25- Oh!- You are so going to hell.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I'll see you there.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29MUSIC: Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode
0:25:42 > 0:25:44That is fantastic, yes.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48We are finally at the Clementine Hotel and Spa.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53You're a star. Thank you so much.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56OK, local garage. Local knowledge. They've found the car.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58They're going to drop our bags here
0:25:58 > 0:26:01and bring the car back here tomorrow.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Oh, great! What now?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Back to your farmer boyfriend for a little nightcap?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07In your dreams.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09What I really need right now is a shower.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13And then I'm going to buy you a very large glass of wine.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Make it an extra large gin and tonic and you've got a deal.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- Done.- By the way, you're still a cowbag.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Lion King.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Snow Owl.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Black Fox.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Yeah!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Angry Bear.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36DANIEL LAUGHS
0:26:36 > 0:26:37Be proud of today.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42You overcame obstacles and worked together to build this lodge.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44A great achievement.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Tomorrow is far more about your internal journey.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53To help you get in the right state of mind, you will need to fast.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56What does that entail?
0:26:56 > 0:27:00No food, except fruit. No drink, except water.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04- More of a statement then a question. - Forget you!
0:27:04 > 0:27:07There's nothing I'm asking you to do that I'm not doing myself.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09I am not going into a pub and not drinking.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Who said you were staying in a pub?
0:27:11 > 0:27:13You did. The Spread Eagle.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15You said it was a palace.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18It is.
0:27:35 > 0:27:36It's freezing,
0:27:36 > 0:27:38we've run out of water and we're starving. Where is your mate?
0:27:38 > 0:27:41He's not my mate. I don't know him any more.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42I used to know him. I don't any more.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- I haven't had breakfast. - Stick a Danish in your bag!
0:27:44 > 0:27:49"Stick a Danish in your bag," why don't you stick a Danish in your...?
0:27:49 > 0:27:51I need to eat and I need to eat now.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53The big, beautiful wild is full of food.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55The woods are full of rabbits.
0:27:55 > 0:27:56ALL: Argh!