0:00:34 > 0:00:35Bea?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Why aren't you at work?
0:00:39 > 0:00:42You look tired. Love, you should get some more sleep.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Urgh...
0:00:44 > 0:00:46I didn't get in till five.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49It was kicking off all over the place.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51I thought you weren't getting involved in fights any more.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54When I'm the only doorman who can handle himself?
0:00:54 > 0:00:55You should put some arnica on it.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59It's fine.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02So you're not going in today? Internet's down.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04So, got to work from home again.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Right.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Morning, campers! Morning.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32It's a bit early for a cold call.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Zara Carmichael.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Er...
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Yes, I'm sorry. I've got a clinic this afternoon.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Mm-hm.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43Oh...
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Maybe next time.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Thank you.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48Please...!
0:01:48 > 0:01:49What?
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Oh, one of the mothers from Joe's school inviting me to some
0:01:53 > 0:01:56getting-to-know-you session at some pretentious yummy mummy cafe.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Sounds nice.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59If you like spending your afternoon off
0:01:59 > 0:02:01with a bunch of bird-brain uber mums
0:02:01 > 0:02:04tacitly competing over their soya milk frappuccinos.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Bit harsh, isn't it?
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Oh, you should see the school run...
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Fleets of teeny women in their massive four-by-fours,
0:02:11 > 0:02:13drowning in their fake fur gilets
0:02:13 > 0:02:15and simply dripping with so much cubic zirconia
0:02:15 > 0:02:18it's surprising they can even get out of their cars at all.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19They certainly can't drive them!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21What?
0:02:22 > 0:02:23What?!
0:02:27 > 0:02:28HE CHUCKLES
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Oh...!
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Why didn't you say something?
0:02:33 > 0:02:34HE LAUGHS
0:02:34 > 0:02:36I was going to wait till you'd woken up properly.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39You know what you're like. Yeah. A megastud!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Just put me down.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Oh... Yeah.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Anyway, look, tests, they can give a false positive.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Oh, you clever, clever girl!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Mwah!
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Go back to bed, love, cos you're going to be really tired.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54You'll be exhausted tonight. Who cares?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56This is amazing!
0:02:56 > 0:02:59We should call the doctors, do tests and stuff.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00No, it's fine!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Is the number in your mobile? Look, I won't get seen for days.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Vic!
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Hello.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Yeah.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Yeah, my girlfriend's just found out she's pregnant.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11HE CHUCKLES
0:03:20 > 0:03:22You're not actually supposed to study on a study day.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25It's just so the teachers can have a jolly.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27We can't all spend our time ten-pin bowling
0:03:27 > 0:03:29and brown-nosing Mum's boyfriend.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Huh. Won't be much more of that
0:03:30 > 0:03:33since he found out I was fishing about Dad.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Yeah, well done, Sherlock!
0:03:34 > 0:03:36You try, if you're so clever!
0:03:37 > 0:03:41It's not fair on Heston. It puts him in an awkward position.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Oh, so we're supposed to just wait for Mum to spill the beans, are we?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46He could be a murderer or anything.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48It'd blow our lives apart if he's something really dodgy.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Hey, OK. Chillax, man.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52I get the message.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57So your last period was...?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01I don't know, six weeks ago. I had a little bit of bleeding.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03But I just presumed it was the menopause.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Your first pregnancy in your mid-40s.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08That's got to be a bit of a surprise.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Understatement of the year.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13So...a bit of bleeding, spotting.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15That's not uncommon in an early pregnancy,
0:04:15 > 0:04:19but we'll keep a little eye on it, given you're an older primip.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Older primip?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22What is this, Planet Of The Apes?
0:04:22 > 0:04:27Sorry, that's the technical term for first-time mums over 35.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30So...you're sure that we're pregnant?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Yeah. Tender breasts, morning sickness, two positive tests.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35I think it's pretty conclusive.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I'll send your bloods for test
0:04:38 > 0:04:41and I'll refer you for a 12-week scan.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Do you want me to do another stick test, Bea,
0:04:43 > 0:04:45in case the ones you bought were, you know, faulty?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48No, it's all right. I did one about ten days ago
0:04:48 > 0:04:51and that was positive, as well. Ten days ago and you didn't tell me?
0:04:51 > 0:04:54I could kill you sometimes!
0:04:55 > 0:04:58So...last period, six weeks ago?
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Well, it weren't in June.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Remember, you had that big one on holiday. Talk about timing!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05No. The first week in June. That was the last one.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08But that would make you about 14 weeks.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Best get cracking.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13She'll be popping it out in no time.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Well, you're through the first trimester.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18That's when most miscarriages occur.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21But you should see a consultant, though.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22When you're an older mum,
0:05:22 > 0:05:26there's a slightly increased chance of Down's
0:05:26 > 0:05:29or complications. Complications?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31That's not going to happen, baby.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Cos we're going to be super careful.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Have you always been on the small side, Bea?
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Well, she's lost a bit of weight, actually.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40I can't eat, cos I feel so sick.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43So it's not me putting you off your food, then, eh?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46well, try and eat as healthily as you can.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49You know, little and often, keep your good fats up.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52So that's avocado, oily fish, that sort of thing.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55No seafood and no unpasteurised stuff.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57I looked it up.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01I'm going to push St Phil's for the consultant's appointment
0:06:01 > 0:06:03and get your scan done as soon as possible.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06So...have you got any questions?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11OK. Any problems, you know where I am.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Aye, we do. Thank you.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15We're really lucky.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18we only met a couple of years ago and what with Bea's age,
0:06:18 > 0:06:21we, er...only dreamed this would happen.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26Bet you never thought you'd end up with a thicko like me, eh?
0:06:26 > 0:06:27It's a miracle.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Yeah, yeah. So soon after... Ow! ..coming off the pill, as well.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Sorry. I, er...
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I don't know my own strength. Yeah, well, some men don't.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38OK, well, I'll, er...I'll see you out.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43It's just along here.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45There we go. Well, thanks again.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49Oh, you're very welcome. Can't wait to meet the little sprog.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51We'd better start thinking of names, eh?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54When did you come off the pill?
0:06:57 > 0:06:58He looks happy.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Yeah, yeah, should be.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02She's 45. The first?
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Yeah.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05And very lucky.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Yeah, she seems more in shock at the moment, though.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Mm, well, it does take some getting used to. Of course.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12I'll see you later.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Give me caffeine, quick!
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Intravenous or oral? Both!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Joe keeps waking up obscenely early.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Is he excited about school?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Bouncing off the ceiling.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30They're very good at drawing in kids these days.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33I'm very impressed with Shak and Alia's schooling.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35He'll do really well. Fingers crossed.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39I remember my first day at school. Utter trepidation.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Really? Book-boffin like you?
0:07:41 > 0:07:45No, it was somewhat portentous. I was bullied for years.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50SHE SIGHS
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Hope the little blighter doesn't take after you physically.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58He'll never be able to handle himself in a fight.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02I, er...just got this feeling...
0:08:03 > 0:08:04..it's a boy.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16It's just that you've been a bit funny with me recently.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Yeah, well, it's probably hormones.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I was a psycho with PMT,
0:08:21 > 0:08:23so God knows what I'm going to be like with the pregnancy hormones...
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Right.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30You said...you'd been off the pill two years.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Yeah, I have. So why would the midwife mention it?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37My age. I've been on it for decades, so...
0:08:39 > 0:08:41I thought you said you hadn't been with another bloke
0:08:41 > 0:08:43for a while before me?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Why are you so possessive?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47It's got nothing to do with you!
0:08:47 > 0:08:49It has, if you're keeping things from me.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Ow!
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Sorry.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53I'm sorry. Bea...!
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I'm not thinking straight.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I... I haven't slept.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58Bea...!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Have you seen my, er...
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Lightweight.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16All these versions of possible Dad keep popping into my head.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20I've been like that for months, years.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24What's your favourite version?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Formula 1 champion.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Concert pianist.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Forklift truck driver.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34We could search on the internet.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37I don't think that's a good idea. Oh, don't be so negative, man.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40We've got his name and a place of birth from the wedding certificate.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Can't be that difficult to find. Find what?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Er...
0:09:44 > 0:09:46My MP3 player!
0:09:46 > 0:09:48It's in your hand.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Duh...
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Playing hooky again?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53So that's where I get it from.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Just you try. No, I've got to get back to The Mill.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I forgot some notes on a meeting.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Mum... Mm-hm? What was I like as a baby?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Cheeky little handful. Like you are now.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Good job Alia took after you, then.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13You were both...no trouble at all.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Making up for it now, though, aren't you?
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Right, I will see you later...
0:10:18 > 0:10:19losers!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Could you have been more obvious?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Well, I'm fed up with all this farting around!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Oh, hello again.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32I need to see someone.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Sister Hanif isn't back until later.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37No. A proper doctor.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39She is a fully-qualified midwife.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42So what is it about the word "doctor" that you don't understand?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44I understand perfectly, thank you.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Earliest we have is tomorrow at five.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53No, it can't be till tomorrow. It has to be now.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Dr Reid, your next patient has cancelled.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Would you mind fitting in Miss Ward?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02I'd be so grateful.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Yes. Yes, of course. Follow me.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Right, have a seat.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22How can I help you?
0:11:22 > 0:11:23I want an abortion.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Right. OK.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Erm...well, let's have a look.
0:11:30 > 0:11:35Well, I can see here that Sister Hanif thinks you are 14 weeks,
0:11:35 > 0:11:38so that leaves you ten weeks until the legal cut-off point.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41I thought doctors weren't supposed to make moral judgments.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42I wasn't making a moral judgment.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45I'm simply saying you've got some time.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46So there's no need to panic.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Who's panicking? I'm not.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Well, you look rather stressed to me.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Well, you would be stressed if you wanted to chuck up all the time.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Er...
0:11:55 > 0:11:58look, of course, this is absolutely your choice,
0:11:58 > 0:12:01but you have spoken to your partner about this?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Yeah, and he's fine with it. Right.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06And if the NHS can't do it now,
0:12:06 > 0:12:08I'm happy to pay for it.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09How much is it?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Well, it can be anything between ?500 and ?900.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17And, erm...you can have a general anaesthetic?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Usually up to 18 weeks, yes.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Good.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Look, this is in no way a moral judgment,
0:12:23 > 0:12:25it's just protocol that I ask...
0:12:26 > 0:12:30You have considered this matter fully? Yes! Yes, I have.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I'm not going to change my mind.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35OK, look, if your decision is the same, OK.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39But I really would encourage you to take a bit more time
0:12:39 > 0:12:42and to talk things through again with your partner.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Thank you.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50BABY CRIES
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I just don't know what to do. We changed her just before we came out.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55She was fed? She's been fed.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Well, just check her over.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58BABY CRIES
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Look, let's just get her home and...
0:13:07 > 0:13:08I need to see Dr Reid.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12She's on lunch at the moment. What about the others?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Afternoon surgery doesn't start until four.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16There we go.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Hiya, Bea.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Everything OK?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21When will Dr Reid be back?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Is there anything that I can help you with?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27No, I need Dr Reid.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Look, why don't we just go and have a little chat?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I'm fine. I'm fine. I will be fine.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33Hey, come on.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Just for five minutes.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Please.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Why don't you take a seat?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I want a termination.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51And I don't want any lectures, any judgments,
0:13:51 > 0:13:54or any last-chance hysteria.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58I've thought about this a lot and it's the right decision.
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Bea...
0:13:59 > 0:14:03I'm sorry, but this morning, you know, Vic, he seemed very keen.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05He was over the moon, in fact, and I...
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Well, I just wonder, is there a reason
0:14:07 > 0:14:09why you haven't brought him with you?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Yeah. Just let's all tiptoe around Mr Nice Guy, as usual!
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Cos what about my needs?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Why don't you sit down? I don't want to.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21OK. Bea, do you feel pressurised by Vic at all?
0:14:21 > 0:14:22What does that mean?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Well, I'm...
0:14:25 > 0:14:29I'm picking up on what you said, you know, about tiptoeing around him.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Do you...?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Do you sometimes feel a bit bullied by him?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34No.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Emotionally? Physically?
0:14:36 > 0:14:37I don't know. I don't.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39I noticed you pull away from him,
0:14:39 > 0:14:42you know, when you were leaving and...
0:14:42 > 0:14:44He's a big, strong man.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Do you ever feel intimidated by him?
0:14:46 > 0:14:50How dare you? You're making assumptions about our relationship!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53This is totally unprofessional!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55What kind of place is this?
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Twice I've come here
0:14:57 > 0:14:58and I'm asking for a procedure
0:14:58 > 0:15:02and I'm getting met with arrogance and amateurism!
0:15:02 > 0:15:04I'm going to make a formal complaint.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06And I'm not coming back here.
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Bea...
0:15:09 > 0:15:11DOOR SLAMS
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Vic? Oh, you're here.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21I don't feel well. I'm going to have a rest.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23What's this?
0:15:27 > 0:15:28I don't know.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Well you've been looking at it.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36When you type in "maternal issues" all that sort of stuff comes up.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38So why would you look at it?
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Please, don't be angry.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Why?
0:15:50 > 0:15:52It's what we both want, isn't it?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Isn't it?
0:15:55 > 0:15:58You said I was the love of your life,
0:15:58 > 0:16:00the only man you've ever wanted to have kids with.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03I'm having second thoughts.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04About kids?
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Or me?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26I made you some tea.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Come on, don't sulk. I'm not!
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Well, you're doing a pretty good impression.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38So I'm supposed to feel exactly what YOU tell me to now, am I?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Talk about being a control freak. I'm not being a control freak.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Not much.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45"Oh, we can't look for him, he might be a murderer or something."
0:16:45 > 0:16:49Well, he might be! Don't be so ridiculous.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Seriously. What are the chances of him being a murderer?
0:16:52 > 0:16:54I just don't understand why you want to rock the boat.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Mum's happy. We're happy.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Then why can neither of us stop thinking about it, then?
0:16:59 > 0:17:02I bet you know exactly what he looks like in your own head, don't you?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Look, Mum's not going to like it, for whatever reason.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10But this is our right, Alia.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12We've got a right to know who our own father is.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15He's not dead or anything. She would have told us.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17But what if he is? Exactly.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21We would never have known who our own dad is.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22HE SIGHS
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Look, I could start searching without you, easy.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26But I don't want to.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30It's me and you or nothing.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Alia...
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Are you going to wait another 15 years?
0:17:39 > 0:17:40OK, then.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Let's do this.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47SHE SOBS
0:17:47 > 0:17:51All right, Bea, love, I bought these to...
0:17:51 > 0:17:53What are you doing? You're going to harm the baby!
0:17:53 > 0:17:57There's not going to be a baby! You don't mean that, Bea!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Get off! Get off me!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Please! Please...! Come on, it's all right.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03SHE PANTS AND SOBS Whoa...
0:18:03 > 0:18:07SHE PANTS AND GASPS
0:18:11 > 0:18:14PHONE RINGS Why does everybody ring when we're closed?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Because they're checking we ARE closed.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Mill Health Centre.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22It's Vic Morton. Is the midwife lady there?
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Bea's gone ape.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Erm, could you hang on a minute?
0:18:25 > 0:18:28It's Vic Morton. He's worried about Bea.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Oh, thanks.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Hey, Vic, it's Ruhma. Is Bea OK?
0:18:32 > 0:18:35No. She was weightlifting,
0:18:35 > 0:18:38then she went nuts at me and now she's having a panic attack.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Right, OK.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Stay with her and keep her calm, I'll be there as soon as possible.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Shall I do the breathing into the paper bag thing? 'Yeah.'
0:18:46 > 0:18:47If she's feeling faint, do.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48OK, bye.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50SHE PANTS AND GASPS
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Easy. Hey. Come on. Shhh...
0:18:53 > 0:18:54Everything all right?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56It's Bea. She's having a panic attack, lifting weights.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58She really doesn't want this baby, Emma.
0:18:58 > 0:19:0018 Marsh Street. 18 Marsh, thanks.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Do you want me to come with you? No, it's fine. It's on my way home.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I'll call you if I need you. OK. Night.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06Here you go.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Why is it that men never make a swift exit unless it's to the pub?
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Need to rescue Joe from the child minder. Or vice versa.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Funny.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Either way, they costs a small fortune.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21How did you cope with Chris?
0:19:21 > 0:19:22I befriended the other mothers
0:19:22 > 0:19:25and then we would take it in turns to do the after-school stint.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Friends in the playground... Yes, it can be very useful.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Especially for finding out what's going on.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34What, like who stole who's Transformer?
0:19:34 > 0:19:38No, more of which of Joe's friends to invite for a sleepover
0:19:38 > 0:19:41and which ones are likely to end up on drugs.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44And most importantly, who's sleeping with the head.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47If we're talking subterfuge, that's right up my street. Mm.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51I find befriending the classroom helper the most useful.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53They can tell you what the teacher really thinks.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57I've got no problem with recruiting an in-class spy.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Hm, you'll be head of the governors in no time.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Bea...
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Bea, it's Ruhma from the surgery.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Are you OK?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16SHE SOBS QUIETLY
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Why don't you come and sit on the sofa, you'll be more comfortable?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25You seem really anxious.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Did you two row or anything?
0:20:34 > 0:20:36A bit.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38She wanted a termination.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42She came to see you about it?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Is there any reason why she would have changed her mind?
0:20:45 > 0:20:46Well...
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I guess we haven't been getting on too well lately.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I've not slept for weeks, so I'm moody.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55But she's even worse. A proper ratbag!
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Have your fights got heated?
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Who said anything about fights?
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I wouldn't hurt a hair on her head, if that's what you mean.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Oh...I get it.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Just cos I'm a big bloke, eh?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Perhaps you should just leave us alone for a minute, yeah?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I do not hit her!
0:21:15 > 0:21:18No, don't leave, Vicky! Don't go!
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Vicky!
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Hey, hey, I'm here.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22It's all right. I'm sorry.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24I'm sorry.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I love you so much. I'm so...
0:21:26 > 0:21:28I know.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30I know. Come on. Come up here.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Come up here.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Come on.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35That's it.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37There we go.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Just sit down there.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41That's my girl.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43How's my ba...?
0:21:43 > 0:21:44No!
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I didn't do anything. It's not you.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50But she is terrified of something.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Bea are you worried about this baby?
0:21:54 > 0:21:55Hey?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Is it the baby being inside?
0:22:03 > 0:22:04Is it the birth?
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Shhhh...
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Is the thought of giving birth terrifying you?
0:22:09 > 0:22:12SHE SOBS
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Come here... Shhh, it's OK.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Hey, come on. I've got you.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18SHE SOBS
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Every time I think I'm getting somewhere,
0:22:22 > 0:22:23these sites just want money.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26And I'm on page 43 of the name search results.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27Nothing.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30This site claims to be free.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Amir Hanif...
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Hang on, it's searching.
0:22:39 > 0:22:412,480 results.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44USA, Canada, France, Dubai.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46How are we going to get through all these?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Profession...
0:22:49 > 0:22:51construction worker.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Now it wants me to register. So? Register.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58What if they start sending letters? or e-mails and Mum sees?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Just invent a fake name.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02I'll bet they want money in the end, anyway.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04HE SIGHS
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Why can't it all just be simple?
0:23:09 > 0:23:13Fear of childbirth is a well-known medical condition.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15It's called tocophobia. Really? Mm-hm.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18I tried to fight it, but...
0:23:20 > 0:23:23..I convinced myself I was all right for five minutes,
0:23:23 > 0:23:25then I'd remember and I...
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Just, I want to rip myself out of my body.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30I can't eat and I can't sleep
0:23:30 > 0:23:33and I'm driving Vic mad. I'm just tossing and turning.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37You've been in a state of hyper-arousal since you found out.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39It's very exhausting, Bea.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Look, can you think, was there a specific trigger for the phobia?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Yeah, I guess.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52My mum had a stillbirth when I was six and...
0:23:54 > 0:23:56..she just started haemorrhaging.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00Red, there was...glistening on her skirt
0:24:00 > 0:24:02and dripping...
0:24:02 > 0:24:03and her crying and...
0:24:05 > 0:24:07..my little sister never arrived.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08You never told me that.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12I didn't realise how frightened I was until I became pregnant.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15I just thought I didn't want to have kids,
0:24:15 > 0:24:17you know, just never find "the one".
0:24:17 > 0:24:20But you did come off the pill, so...
0:24:20 > 0:24:22you know, you must have wanted a child.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Just seemed...
0:24:24 > 0:24:26right with Vic.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27And I know how much he wanted one,
0:24:27 > 0:24:31so I finally stopped five months ago.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Five months?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35You said two years. I'm sorry.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40I'd have been so frightened, we'd never have had sex.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41I just...
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I'm a freak.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48No, you're not.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52At least you got back in time to stop me hurting the baby, eh?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56It's going to be all right, isn't it?
0:24:56 > 0:24:58It's unlikely that you've done any harm.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I'm so ashamed.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Don't be.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08Tocophobia, it's much more recognised these days -
0:25:08 > 0:25:11and with talking therapy, relaxation classes,
0:25:11 > 0:25:13a clear birth plan,
0:25:13 > 0:25:16even women with the severest form overcome it.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18What is if that doesn't work?
0:25:18 > 0:25:20We would refer you to a specialist team.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Look...
0:25:27 > 0:25:29..if you really can't go through with this...
0:25:29 > 0:25:31you don't have to.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33But...
0:25:33 > 0:25:35if you want to give it a try...
0:25:36 > 0:25:39..then I'll hold your hand all the way.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42No matter how much of a ratbag you are!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Hey?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I really want to try. I want to have your baby,
0:25:46 > 0:25:48but I just...
0:25:48 > 0:25:49Hey, Bea...
0:25:49 > 0:25:51just one day at a time.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Yeah.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56No pregnancy is without anxiety.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Lord knows, I've got two of my own, but...
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Please, just try.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Cos it really...
0:26:03 > 0:26:05it really is worth it.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I think I owe you an apology. Nah.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12It's understandable.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16I am a bit of a bruiser and I do get carried away sometimes.
0:26:17 > 0:26:18Don't we all?
0:26:20 > 0:26:24GUNFIRE ON MOBILE GAME
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Do you have to do that? I was on level six!
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Do you want to find Dad or not? Yeah. But how?
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Come on, we need to be more forensic about this.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37He worked on building sites. Maybe he worked his way up.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Foreman, surveyor, engineer...
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Let's search for professional websites for builders.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45What about this one?
0:26:45 > 0:26:47"Construction Exchange UK...
0:26:48 > 0:26:50"..Amir Hanif."
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Nothing.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55What about this one?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57It's all Pakistan.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Well, who's to say he's still in England?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Well, I just presumed that. Me, too, but..
0:27:03 > 0:27:05What about this one?
0:27:05 > 0:27:07"Professional networking sites
0:27:07 > 0:27:09"for the construction industry in Pakistan."
0:27:09 > 0:27:10Worth a try.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16"Amir Hanif, bricklaying, builder."
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Do you think that's him? Click on his name.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23No way...!
0:27:30 > 0:27:32I'm busy.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Can I just say, how excited I am
0:27:34 > 0:27:36to be the winner of the community arts scheme?
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get this project approved?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41There are people on the arts committee
0:27:41 > 0:27:43just waiting to stab me in the back.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Have you got one of those recording things?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Turn it off. But...
0:27:47 > 0:27:49No, go on. Let's see what happens.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25GLITTER BALL CHIRPS A "YOOHOO"
0:28:25 > 0:28:27# Oh, it don't mean a thing
0:28:27 > 0:28:30# If it ain't got that swing
0:28:30 > 0:28:33# Doo-wa, doo-wa, doo-wa, doo-wa, doo-wa! #
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Strictly: Mission Fabulous continues