The Da Vinci Toad

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0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Lydia, oh, Lydia

0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Say have you met Lydia?

0:00:29 > 0:00:32# Lydia the tattooed lady

0:00:32 > 0:00:35# She has eyes that folks adore so

0:00:35 > 0:00:38# And a torso even more so... #

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Not again...

0:00:40 > 0:00:41# Lydia, oh, Lydia... #

0:00:41 > 0:00:42This is getting beyond a joke, now.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46# ..Lydia the tattooed lady

0:00:46 > 0:00:48# She has eyes that folks adore so... #

0:00:48 > 0:00:52Yes, Jonah, we get it. You're different.

0:00:52 > 0:00:53# Lydia, oh, Lydia

0:00:53 > 0:00:55# Say have you met Lydia?

0:00:55 > 0:00:58# Lydia the tattooed lady

0:00:58 > 0:01:02# She has eyes that folks adore so

0:01:02 > 0:01:05# And a torso even more so... #

0:01:05 > 0:01:07This is nuts.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09It's OK for you. You sleep through it most of the time.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Take another pill.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12The floor is lava!

0:01:12 > 0:01:13Everyone get to high ground, now!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15SHE SIGHS

0:01:15 > 0:01:17There aren't enough hours in the day for this much stupidity.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Women and giraffes first.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24- Morning!- Good morning.

0:01:24 > 0:01:25- Morning.- Morning.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27"You're sweet enough"?

0:01:27 > 0:01:28Yes, well, after our meeting,

0:01:28 > 0:01:32I have been reading about the problem of excess sugar in our diet.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Not in mine, I can assure you.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36It is everywhere!

0:01:36 > 0:01:39And as a health practice, I think we should

0:01:39 > 0:01:41strive to set a better example for the community.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44So I am going to be sending everyone an e-mail,

0:01:44 > 0:01:47just to outline how we can best move forward on this together.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Excuse me.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53So no more sugar in anyone's tea?

0:01:53 > 0:01:55It's going to be just like the happiness projects, isn't it?

0:01:55 > 0:01:56Ugh.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59PHONE RINGS

0:02:06 > 0:02:07Mr Aris?

0:02:08 > 0:02:09Jonah?

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Are you done?

0:02:12 > 0:02:16I don't know my NHS number, ironically.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19- I'm reading maths.- Ah.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Jonah Aris?

0:02:21 > 0:02:22Would you like to come through?

0:02:25 > 0:02:27PHONE RINGS

0:02:27 > 0:02:28Good morning, campus surgery.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Hi, Val!

0:02:32 > 0:02:34She's not!

0:02:34 > 0:02:35All of us?!

0:02:37 > 0:02:41Well, I can't wait for that to drop into my inbox.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43William, my housemate, sent me the link.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45- # 'Lydia, oh, Lydia...' # - Is this a public site?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48I thought they were winding me up when they said I kept sleepwalking.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51It's a bit more than sleepwalking, isn't it?

0:02:51 > 0:02:54I've been like that since I moved in, apparently.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56I don't even know that song.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Did you do anything like this before university?

0:02:58 > 0:03:01I think my parents would have said something.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03How about talking in your sleep?

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Yeah, sure, when I was younger.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Are you on any medication?

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Any other health issues?

0:03:10 > 0:03:11No. Not that I know of.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13How are you finding university life?

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Great, I'm in my element.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Pure mathematics, applied.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21- Drink?- No.- Drugs?

0:03:21 > 0:03:22No, neither.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24I only turned 18 a couple of weeks ago.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26It's all about the work.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29The Fibonacci sequence is what gets me going on a Friday night.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Good for you. Let's take your blood pressure.

0:03:32 > 0:03:33Can you take your jacket off, please?

0:03:33 > 0:03:37I have been feeling a bit tired, headachy.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41And if I spend my nights singing and dodging lava, it's no big surprise.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Right, good.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Got any plans for lunch? - Why? You buying?

0:03:50 > 0:03:53No, I just thought you might fancy another Boxalula session?

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Hmmm.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Feet up with a bacon sandwich,

0:03:57 > 0:04:00or sweaty leotards in the gym...?

0:04:00 > 0:04:01Well, we could do both.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03Haven't got my stuff with me. Sorry, bacon wins.

0:04:03 > 0:04:07You know, we could swing by the house and pick it up?

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Come on. It'll do us good.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10Did you really enjoy it last time?

0:04:10 > 0:04:12What was it, the naked aggression,

0:04:12 > 0:04:14or the semi-naked instructor?

0:04:14 > 0:04:15No, don't be silly!

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Sexy Seb with the snake hips.

0:04:17 > 0:04:18SHE LAUGHS

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Well, I will admit, he was rather easy on the eye.

0:04:20 > 0:04:21- Rumbled!- No, come on.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23I've been there and done that.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Remember the yoga teacher I told you about? Adam?

0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Oh. The one who ran off with Howard's date?- Exactly.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30No, it's just that stuff's easier with a friend.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Come on. Please?

0:04:33 > 0:04:34SHE SIGHS

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Go on, then.

0:04:36 > 0:04:37Great.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42So I thought first year students had to live in the halls of residence.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44It was a late placing.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45So you enrolled a year early,

0:04:45 > 0:04:47and they bent the rules on accommodation?

0:04:49 > 0:04:50I'm a big fish...

0:04:51 > 0:04:53..little fish...

0:04:54 > 0:04:55cardboard box...

0:04:56 > 0:04:57Jonah?

0:04:59 > 0:05:00Sorry.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Uh, no room for me in the halls.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04My housemates needed a third.

0:05:04 > 0:05:05They're OK.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07They think I'm doing it for attention.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09I didn't believe them at first.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12So they thought you were faking it,

0:05:12 > 0:05:14and you thought they were making it up.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16They're final year students.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18They're the "grown ups".

0:05:18 > 0:05:21I wondered if they were just saying it to keep their distance from me.

0:05:21 > 0:05:22Why would they do that?

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Well, double whammy.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27I'm a maths geek,

0:05:27 > 0:05:28AND I'm really young.

0:05:28 > 0:05:32I'm a cash cow, not a housemate, really.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34I've tried to see it from their point of view.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36I was considered a child prodigy,

0:05:36 > 0:05:39a potential high flyer.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42I've never looked for special attention, though.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46You know, big fish, small pond, tadpole...

0:05:46 > 0:05:47It's all the same.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57HE SIGHS

0:05:57 > 0:06:01"To all staff, we are now declaring war on sugar.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03"My new directives are to take immediate effect,

0:06:03 > 0:06:05"with no exceptions..."

0:06:08 > 0:06:10HE SIGHS

0:06:10 > 0:06:11I want you to go to A&E.

0:06:11 > 0:06:12What?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14I'm not that bad!

0:06:14 > 0:06:16- Is there anyone who can go with you? - Is it that serious?

0:06:16 > 0:06:18You need to be urgently assessed.

0:06:18 > 0:06:19OK. I can go after my lecture.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21I don't think you...

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Yes, it's Dr Heston Carter at the campus surgery.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26I need an ambulance straight away, please.

0:06:28 > 0:06:29OK.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34You see, I always thought that when it said low fat on the label...

0:06:34 > 0:06:36No, that doesn't necessarily mean low sugar.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39No, I was going to say, "That you could have twice as much."

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Let's face it, anything taken to an extreme, it's not good.

0:06:42 > 0:06:43Food, drink, religion...

0:06:43 > 0:06:46- And that, there, is the voice of wisdom.- Thank you very much.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Know what? Mrs Tembe's got a point.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50I don't mind giving it a try.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Balance is the key.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Unless we're talking about sex. You can never have too much of that.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Absolutely.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59If it feels good, don't waste any time feeling guilty about it.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Use that time to do it again.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03And it does burn calories.

0:07:03 > 0:07:04Hallelujah.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06- Have you seen this?- Yeah. - What is it, Al?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09New directive from the Ministry of Love.

0:07:09 > 0:07:14"No soft drinks or chocolate to be seen or consumed on premises.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16"This includes all buildings and grounds."

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Oh. Big Brother is watching you.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20"Even off site."

0:07:20 > 0:07:22This is food fascism!

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Actually, it's worse than you think.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26Have you seen the bottom line, small print?

0:07:28 > 0:07:32"Do not print this unless absolutely necessary."

0:07:32 > 0:07:33Right.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38She wants a war on sugar?

0:07:39 > 0:07:40She's got herself one!

0:07:42 > 0:07:44This is not going to end well.

0:07:44 > 0:07:45No.

0:07:50 > 0:07:51Right, thank you.

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Oh, Heston?

0:07:53 > 0:07:56Just checking on the ambulance. It's chaos out there.

0:07:56 > 0:07:57What's the problem?

0:07:57 > 0:07:59There's a pile up on the M40, and it's all hands on deck,

0:07:59 > 0:08:02so I've ordered a taxi, but it's going to be 15 minutes.

0:08:02 > 0:08:03Or I could get the bus?

0:08:03 > 0:08:05No, let's not take the risk.

0:08:06 > 0:08:07Jonah?

0:08:07 > 0:08:10You didn't give me your previous GP's details.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14It's just for our records. Would you mind?

0:08:17 > 0:08:18SHE SIGHS

0:08:18 > 0:08:21Right, time to drag my sleep-addled corpse

0:08:21 > 0:08:24to a lecture on the history of China's international diplomacy.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Sit at the back. Power nap.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27What about you?

0:08:27 > 0:08:305K run, then coaching.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Picking up on the whole discussion we had about doping last week.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Yeah, speaking of dopes...?

0:08:37 > 0:08:38Left about nine.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42He's getting worse, isn't he?

0:08:42 > 0:08:43We can't go on like this.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45If only we could just get rid...

0:08:45 > 0:08:48Why were we so quick on making him sign a tenancy agreement?

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Curse your super efficiency!

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Not helping.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54Can't you do something?

0:08:54 > 0:08:55I don't know...

0:08:55 > 0:08:58Make an inappropriate pass, or get caught stealing his underwear.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Er, OK, one - ew.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04And two - our rent would go up to cover his share.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06We'd be hard pushed to find a replacement this term.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Yeah, I know. Not an option.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Anyway. See you.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oh, can you do me a favour?

0:09:16 > 0:09:19No, I won't do the washing up, it's your turn.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21No, can you get me some anti-inflammatories?

0:09:21 > 0:09:22The chemist is on your way.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24My knee's giving me grief again.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26Says the man going for a 5K.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Normally it would be ten.

0:09:28 > 0:09:29You poor little lamb(!)

0:09:29 > 0:09:30I'll get your drugs.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34- Where x is equal to a value of six...- Jonah.

0:09:34 > 0:09:35..and y is equal to a value of...

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Jonah, make sure they get the letter,

0:09:37 > 0:09:39and you're treated as a priority.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Um, invert x, compute the reciprocal...

0:09:41 > 0:09:43And I will catch up with you at the hospital later.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45Thank you, Doctor.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Could we make a detour to 106 Alderman Road?

0:09:50 > 0:09:51Thank you.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Keep this on the down low,

0:09:56 > 0:09:59but I am doing an underground food run at lunchtime.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01Strictly need to know.

0:10:01 > 0:10:02A what?

0:10:02 > 0:10:03Contraband.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07So does anybody want anything from the banned substance list?

0:10:07 > 0:10:09I've got a serious urge for a sherbet fountain.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Do they still do those?

0:10:11 > 0:10:12Don't even....

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Yeah, they do, just they're smaller nowadays.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Same with those pink shrimps.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18Ooh, pink shrimps.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Tooth rot in seafood clothing.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Just you wait till Joe gets a taste for them.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24Not going to happen.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26You have to be disciplined about these things.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29I still have nightmares about what happened at the fair.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Oh, that's right.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32He went off like Mount Etna, didn't he?

0:10:32 > 0:10:34It went everywhere.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Case in point. Nothing for me, thank you.

0:10:36 > 0:10:37Al?

0:10:37 > 0:10:39I have my own dealer, thank you very much.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41No.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43You don't need to replenish the stash of mints

0:10:43 > 0:10:45- you think I don't know about.- What?

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Soft, hard and extra strong.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49You are well-stocked.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50Nothing for him, thank you.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Soft, hard and extra strong?

0:10:55 > 0:10:56Lucky Zara.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Chins down, feet shoulder length apart.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Keep those hips flexible, Emma.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08SHE GIGGLES

0:11:08 > 0:11:10- Tart.- You can talk.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13I saw where your eyes went, when he bent over...

0:11:13 > 0:11:17Everyone, take a moment at some point to watch Jen.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Strong core muscles, great centre of balance.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21Sound technique.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Oh, well done, Jen(!)

0:11:27 > 0:11:28SHE LAUGHS

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Is it trying to sneak up on you?

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Oh, no, I was trying to see it a different way.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Sometimes if you turn and look suddenly...

0:11:42 > 0:11:45You might see something you didn't see before, right?

0:11:45 > 0:11:46Here.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48For me?

0:11:48 > 0:11:50I was making some for myself.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Don't know about you, but I didn't get much sleep last night.

0:11:53 > 0:11:54I'm sorry about that.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56I saw a doctor this morning.

0:11:56 > 0:11:57And?

0:11:57 > 0:12:00He wants me to go to the hospital for some tests.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02But I had a bit of a breakthrough on this,

0:12:02 > 0:12:04and I wanted to get it down first.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06If he thinks that, what, that there's something wrong...?

0:12:06 > 0:12:08I reckon he was being over cautious.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10I can go tomorrow.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15I know you and William think I was faking this...

0:12:15 > 0:12:16Yeah, well, it's hard to believe

0:12:16 > 0:12:19that someone's doing all these things in their sleep.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21When I saw what William had filmed...

0:12:22 > 0:12:24I'm really sorry if I scared you.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27I really want us to get along, Cass.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29I like being here with you both.

0:12:32 > 0:12:33Don't let your tea get cold.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36All right...Mum.

0:12:39 > 0:12:40Oh, yes, Doctor Singh.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44It's Doctor Heston Carter from the Letherbridge Campus surgery.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47One of your patients, Jonah Aris,

0:12:47 > 0:12:50just registered with us today.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53A very intelligent young man. Something's not quite adding up.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55And I was just wondering if you could tell me

0:12:55 > 0:12:58about any underlying health conditions...?

0:12:58 > 0:13:00'The floor is lava! Everyone get to high ground!'

0:13:00 > 0:13:01No, no, he didn't.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04So when was that?

0:13:04 > 0:13:06'Women and giraffes first.'

0:13:06 > 0:13:07Right.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Smartphone, smartphone, where are you?

0:13:13 > 0:13:16Only as smart as the person operating you.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19Oh! Mrs Tembe.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21I thought you were going out for lunch for a change?

0:13:21 > 0:13:23Well, yes, I thought I would go to the new organic cafe

0:13:23 > 0:13:25that had opened on the high street,

0:13:25 > 0:13:28but it has a burst pipe, it is closed.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30It is such a shame.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Mr and Mrs Talbot, they are such a lovely couple.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34They are going to lose a lot of money.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Mm. Oh, that's awful.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37Is it very bad?

0:13:37 > 0:13:41Well, the whole of the kitchen is flooded. Ugh!

0:13:41 > 0:13:46A healthy eating establishment opens just across the way from us,

0:13:46 > 0:13:47and look what happens.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Well, they are going to try to reopen it

0:13:49 > 0:13:50ready for tomorrow morning.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53No... I mean, no, that's awful!

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Do you...do you think they'll manage it?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Well, it is in the hands of the plumber.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00And I believe they will have to have

0:14:00 > 0:14:03a full gas and electricity safety check.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Oh, that's not going to be cheap.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08But I expect they have got proper business insurance?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10I have no doubt.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Yeah. Oh, now you can retreat to the peace and calm of your office.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15I could come with you if you want, if you need company?

0:14:15 > 0:14:17No. I do not believe in eating lunch behind my desk,

0:14:17 > 0:14:19it leads to bad habits.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21I could make you a cup of tea. No sugar, of course...

0:14:21 > 0:14:24And I think I heard your telephone ring,

0:14:24 > 0:14:25so you might have some voicemails...

0:14:25 > 0:14:28You know, for once it can wait.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30- I'm very hungry.- Oh, no, it might be very important.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33It is the middle of October.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36What?! Miss Pitman. I really...

0:14:36 > 0:14:38It'll only take you a minute.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Muffin?- No.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46The tooth fairy has entered the chocolate factory!

0:14:46 > 0:14:49I repeat, the tooth fairy has entered the chocolate factory.

0:14:49 > 0:14:50What?

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Mrs Tembe's coming.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Good.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01I take it from the sherbet around your mouth,

0:15:01 > 0:15:03we are not taking this new challenge seriously?

0:15:03 > 0:15:05No, we are...

0:15:05 > 0:15:06HE SPEAKS WITH MOUTH FULL

0:15:06 > 0:15:07Oh, pardon me.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09It's rude to talk with your mouth full, isn't it?

0:15:09 > 0:15:13Our sugar intake used to be in proportion.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16I agree, it's really important to have a balanced diet.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18So I suggest eating two things at once.

0:15:18 > 0:15:23Now, people are relying more on ready meals, taking less exercise...

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Oh, so you agree sugar reduction is only one part

0:15:26 > 0:15:29of a much larger dietary adjustment?

0:15:29 > 0:15:32It is a large but often unseen part.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34I mean, when people are eating...

0:15:34 > 0:15:37muffins, drinking large cups of coffee...

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Right, so you're talking about guidelines, not absolutes?

0:15:40 > 0:15:44I am talking about setting an example.

0:15:44 > 0:15:48Well, you've certainly given us food for thought, Mrs Tembe. Cheers!

0:15:59 > 0:16:00HE WIPES BOARD

0:16:13 > 0:16:15You're going down, Lee, and when you do you're going to suffer!

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Bring the pain, Reid. Bring. The. Pain.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19I am woman, I AM pain.

0:16:19 > 0:16:20THEY LAUGH

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Come on ladies, let's keep our focus.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23Sorry, Seb.

0:16:24 > 0:16:25Hey!

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Sorry, my bad.

0:16:27 > 0:16:28Don't walk away from me.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Sorry?

0:16:30 > 0:16:31Say it like you mean it.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33I said sorry.

0:16:33 > 0:16:34Some of us aren't here for a laugh.

0:16:34 > 0:16:35Remember that.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38OK, I'll be sure to write that down, next time.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42OK, this is a class for exercise, not aggression.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51You get out of it what you put in.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Put your effort where it matters.

0:17:01 > 0:17:02OK, hold on.

0:17:02 > 0:17:03Heston?

0:17:03 > 0:17:07Somebody's asking for the doctor who saw Jonah Aris this morning.

0:17:07 > 0:17:08St Phil's?

0:17:08 > 0:17:10No, no, calling from home.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Um, hello, Dr Carter.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Yeah, did you see my housemate this morning?

0:17:15 > 0:17:17I'm afraid that's confidential information.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Whatever. Can you come and see him?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22Jonah, mate...

0:17:22 > 0:17:23Hello?

0:17:24 > 0:17:26As soon as you can, doc?

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Things are getting really weird here right now,

0:17:28 > 0:17:29I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself.

0:17:29 > 0:17:30I'll come right over.

0:17:32 > 0:17:33What's going on?

0:17:33 > 0:17:35What do you think?

0:17:43 > 0:17:46Right, we're going to mix things up for the last part.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48I'm going to put you in different pairs again,

0:17:48 > 0:17:50keep you on your toes.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53As long as they don't put me with that black scutter.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57You did not just say that.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59- What?- I know what I heard.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01- Dunno what you're talking about. - What's going on?

0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Her.- Get over yourself.

0:18:03 > 0:18:04Now what?

0:18:04 > 0:18:06She's being an ignorant racist.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08She's talking rubbish.

0:18:08 > 0:18:09Did anyone else hear anything?

0:18:09 > 0:18:11Nothing to hear, Seb.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Yeah, well, Ayesha wouldn't lie about something like this.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Come on. She's obviously playing the racist card.

0:18:16 > 0:18:17Because why?

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Why would I play the racist card? I know what I heard.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21I've been hearing it my whole life.

0:18:25 > 0:18:26You'll have to leave.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28What? No!

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Why? It's her word against mine!

0:18:30 > 0:18:34Like she said. Nothing to gain from lying about you.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36Should have known you'd take her side.

0:18:36 > 0:18:37Just go.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Really?!

0:18:45 > 0:18:48OK, let's get back to it.

0:18:51 > 0:18:52You all right?

0:19:04 > 0:19:05Dr Carter.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07How long has he been like this?

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Since I phoned you.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12He's claimed that he's Mr Toad.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16That's Toad Hall, he's protecting it from the weasels.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19They've been sent by Leonardo da Vinci, apparently.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21To steal all the numbers, or something.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22We didn't know what was best to do.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Jonah?

0:19:29 > 0:19:30Ribbit!

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Jonah, it's me.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Dr Carter. From this morning?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38Did the pineapple have your car keys, Badger?

0:19:40 > 0:19:42We may need to go for the troops.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44He keeps coming out with stuff like this.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47It's like he's answering, but he's not.

0:19:47 > 0:19:48It's only our voices that trigger it.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53# Lydia, oh Lydia

0:19:53 > 0:19:56# That encyclopaedia

0:19:56 > 0:19:59# Oh, Lydia the Queen of Tattoo

0:19:59 > 0:20:03# On her back is The Battle of Waterloo... #

0:20:05 > 0:20:08So we're going to get this day and night now? Great.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10I suppose you're the idiot who filmed him this morning?

0:20:10 > 0:20:12I wanted to make him see how fake it looked.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15Why did you have to humiliate him on the internet?

0:20:15 > 0:20:17In my book, that's bullying.

0:20:17 > 0:20:18He wasn't that bothered.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Because he's desperate to fit in here.

0:20:20 > 0:20:21Are you going to take him to hospital?

0:20:21 > 0:20:23He said he had to go.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24What, you haven't taken him yet?

0:20:26 > 0:20:27Welcome back.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30Doctor?

0:20:30 > 0:20:33I must've...dropped off.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35I was working on a theorem...

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Looks like you've had a wasted journey after all.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Why didn't you tell me you were a late admission here

0:20:41 > 0:20:43because of a car accident?

0:20:43 > 0:20:45What? It didn't matter.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48I had some bruises, a mild concussion, I was fine.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50You may have an underlying condition.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52He said he's fine.

0:20:52 > 0:20:53You've changed your tune.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55I just want to work.

0:20:55 > 0:20:59It may be the accident, or an infection, a blood clot,

0:20:59 > 0:21:02a haemorrhage... Which is why I wanted you to go to A&E.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Oh, mate.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07So why don't you go now? We'll clear up outside, yeah?

0:21:07 > 0:21:10- What is up with you?- Nothing.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13Yeah, nothing. We sorted it while you were out.

0:21:13 > 0:21:14She even made me tea.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Tea?

0:21:17 > 0:21:18It's more than you've done.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22After all that stuff about tenancy agreements,

0:21:22 > 0:21:24and how quickly we can get shot of him?

0:21:24 > 0:21:25What's your deal?

0:22:04 > 0:22:05Haskey!

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Oh, Sister Hanif, have you seen Dr Haskey?

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Oh, he's covering for Heston at the campus.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12Some emergency...

0:22:12 > 0:22:15Valerie said that he volunteered.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Yes, well, I'm sure he did. You see?

0:22:17 > 0:22:20This is the level of response you can expect on the matter of sugar.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22That's just Al being Al.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25Well, he is not alone in his condemnation.

0:22:25 > 0:22:26Do you want me to have a word?

0:22:26 > 0:22:29Perhaps the two of us, you know, encouraging new habits...?

0:22:29 > 0:22:30No.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33No, no, no, I would not like you to be ridiculed as well.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Hey, I'm tough, Mrs Tembe.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Take a lot more than Al and his sense of humour to get to me.

0:22:38 > 0:22:39Now...

0:22:43 > 0:22:44Haskey.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48So you put your sleeping pills in his tea?

0:22:48 > 0:22:51Do you realise how stupid that was?

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Only one.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54It can't be that bad. You prescribed them for me.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57So you thought you'd do some moronic experiment?

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Anything could have happened! Look what did.

0:23:00 > 0:23:01They weren't much use to me.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04It could have clashed with something I was prescribing him.

0:23:04 > 0:23:05But you didn't, did you?

0:23:05 > 0:23:08You gave him a sedative without his consent.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10I thought you were doing something nice for me.

0:23:12 > 0:23:13You gave me the idea.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15What? No, no, no,

0:23:15 > 0:23:17No way are you sticking this on me.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Are you in on this too?- No!

0:23:19 > 0:23:21You asked me to get you anti-inflammatories.

0:23:21 > 0:23:24Taking stuff so that you could get back to normal.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26I thought the same would work on Jonah.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds?!

0:23:28 > 0:23:30KNOCK ON DOOR

0:23:32 > 0:23:34I'm sorry, OK?

0:23:35 > 0:23:37All I can say is that we were all tired this morning,

0:23:37 > 0:23:39and I know you're not playing at this.

0:23:41 > 0:23:42I've really messed up.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45I suppose, if I'd have gone to the hospital like I was meant to...

0:23:45 > 0:23:47And you're going now. No excuses.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50I'll come with you. For support.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54One of the neighbours complained about Toad Hall.

0:23:56 > 0:23:57SHE SIGHS

0:23:58 > 0:24:00This just keeps getting better.

0:24:00 > 0:24:01Ugh, I'm knackered.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03I wanted a bacon sandwich.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05I just want a bath.

0:24:05 > 0:24:06Sorry about what happened.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08I hope it won't put you off?

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Why would it? You didn't do anything wrong.

0:24:10 > 0:24:11Yeah, you've nothing to apologise for.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13No, I was going to say...

0:24:13 > 0:24:16I hope it won't put you off going out for a drink sometime?

0:24:18 > 0:24:20- See you, Seb!- Me?

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Laters.

0:24:22 > 0:24:23Sorry, totally missed that.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25She said yes. What was it, Friday?

0:24:25 > 0:24:26Friday.

0:24:28 > 0:24:29Cool.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Emma, what is wrong with you?!

0:24:34 > 0:24:35EMMA LAUGHS

0:24:35 > 0:24:36AYESHA SIGHS

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Do you think they'll charge her?

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Depends.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42It was assault.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Bit harsh telling them, though, doc.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Is it any worse than what you did to Jonah?

0:24:48 > 0:24:49Oh, come on.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55Sorry, mate.

0:24:55 > 0:24:56I'll take it down. I didn't mean to show you up.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Can we just forget it?

0:24:58 > 0:25:00There are bigger problems to face.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Well, that's me told...

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Is that it? Smack on the wrist, don't do it again?

0:25:05 > 0:25:08Nope. I'll be hearing from them.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Reported for consideration of offence.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12An apology's not enough. Apparently.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Brilliant. Now she REALLY hates me.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19It's not your fault.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22Now, do I need to take you to hospital?

0:25:25 > 0:25:27I'll take you.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30You shouldn't have to go through this alone. I'll, um...

0:25:30 > 0:25:31get my keys.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35What if they find something like a tumour?

0:25:35 > 0:25:39Or...or curing me makes me normal, and not a maths genius?

0:25:39 > 0:25:42The important thing is we find out what's going on.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46I just wish I could solve it like an equation.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Well, this won't be solved with algebra.

0:25:51 > 0:25:55I did not expect so much resistance to the idea.

0:25:55 > 0:25:59Well, people usually react badly to being told what's good for them.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01All you can do is make them aware, and hope.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Yes, well, I hoped to lead by example.

0:26:04 > 0:26:05Oh, what are we talking about?

0:26:05 > 0:26:07We were just discussing that.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Oh, flaming Ada!

0:26:10 > 0:26:12I'm not being funny.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14I mean, you can ban this and that, but...

0:26:14 > 0:26:18You can't be a working mum without the occasional ready meal.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21A personal choice in your private life, that is a different matter.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24Well, much as your intentions are entirely honourable...

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Nevertheless, we're going to give it a go. Right?

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Yes, but I don't think you can

0:26:29 > 0:26:31impose this lifestyle on ALL your co-workers.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33People do have a right to choose.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38Well, I have listened to your thoughts

0:26:38 > 0:26:42and I still think we should try this together.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44I will rethink my strategy.

0:26:44 > 0:26:45Goodnight.

0:26:45 > 0:26:46- Night, night.- Goodnight, Mrs Tembe.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50Why does she do this stuff?

0:26:50 > 0:26:52Because she cares.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55And because she's faced a lot of hostility today.

0:26:55 > 0:26:56It won't be popular.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58Yeah, I agree. She's picked a tough battle.

0:26:58 > 0:27:02Which she's going to lose. But she'll bounce back.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05All she's asking for is us to try a healthier diet,

0:27:05 > 0:27:06you know, set a good example.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08I mean, is that so terrible?

0:27:09 > 0:27:12She's feeling very unsupported, Karen.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20I cannot wait to see everyone enjoying it.

0:27:20 > 0:27:21- What is that?- It's a cake.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23It's a lot of cake.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26This is Valerie. I don't know why she's dressed like that.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28- FRENCH ACCENT: - I am from the Sugar Resistance!

0:27:28 > 0:27:29I'm not completely shallow,

0:27:29 > 0:27:31and I'm capable of making my own decisions,

0:27:31 > 0:27:33thank you very much!

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Well, pardon me for daring to take an interest!

0:27:35 > 0:27:38No, no, no! Hands off until Mrs Tembe gives the nod.