0:00:26 > 0:00:30- Whoa!- Sorry. - What's the matter with you?
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Nothing.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Oh. Hey, so, Emma's told me about your date.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37- Emma's all mouth. - Oh, she's just happy for you.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- AL CACKLES - HE'S happy.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41- AL:- Just you wait, I'll prove it to you.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- Who's he got in there with him? - Nobody.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Weird.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Anyway, I don't know if it's worth it.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Don't be daft.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52First dates are exciting.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- If you say so. - Think of the posh nosh!
0:00:55 > 0:00:57AL CACKLES
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Oh, hello.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Hi, there.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Hi. Who are you?
0:01:02 > 0:01:06Today, I'll mainly be stopping in this world, so I'm Mary-Anne.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08This world? Where in this world?
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Bristol.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Oh. As opposed to...?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Ipurdian. - E de de de de!
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Ipurdian? Our Jack plays that. I know about virtual worlds.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Haven't you got stuff to be doing, Karen?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23I'm sure I can hear the phones ringing.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Al and I are members of The First Tribe.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29FOUNDING members, actually. It was London 2012, wasn't it?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Gaming - not an Olympic sport!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Well, it should be.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35So, do you know this lummox in the real world?
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Yeah, I do.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Oh! And what's your game name?
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Dazzle Berry.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Oh. Well, I'm Karen. It's very nice to meet you.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I'm going now. You - bring your mug out.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Ooh! So, if you're Dangle Berry...
0:01:49 > 0:01:52- Dazzle.- Sorry. He's...?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Firehawk.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- Thanks for that(!) - CAROL CHUCKLES
0:01:59 > 0:02:00You're welcome.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Can a chap not have a secret?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04No.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Right, well, I'd better get going. I will see you in "Brizzol".
0:02:08 > 0:02:11One of my favourite places. You will never eat a better curry.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16What are you putting lipstick on for?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Whoa! That was close.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24They're not even that nice.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Thanks for that(!)
0:02:25 > 0:02:28For what? I think they're luxury.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Oh, please! They're like custard cream flavoured with chocolate.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Sounds luxury to me.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35For telling Karen about tonight.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37No! You're eating out.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Sorry, I didn't realise that Seb was a secret?
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Biscuits?- No!
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I'm saving you from yourselves.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Heston!
0:02:45 > 0:02:46It's for your own good.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49The low-sugar lifestyle is not as easy for everyone
0:02:49 > 0:02:51as it is for Ruhma and me.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Yeah, cause he's doing really well(!)
0:02:53 > 0:02:54I'm cleaning up my act
0:02:54 > 0:02:57I want one to dunk in my tea.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Do you, Emma? Do you really?
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Here!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02"Do you want it, Emma? Do you really?"
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Mm, yummy.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Well, it is a very long way to go for a care review,
0:03:09 > 0:03:12as she is no longer your patient.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15You remember Sarah. She's a really nice girl.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16She wants to stay in Bristol, and...
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Look, Mrs Tembe, she wrote me a really nice e-mail.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20She has found a champion.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Well, I don't know about that,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25but I'm planning on killing two birds with one stone.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29I'll see her, then I've got another mate I'm going to see.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Do you get to see them often?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33No, in fact, I've never met them.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36And yet, riddle me this, I saw them this morning.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41We video chatted. It's a virtual world, Mrs Tembe.
0:03:42 > 0:03:48I have an old friend in Botswana - Warona.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I call her every month.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Do you know, that you had to pay a pound a minute
0:03:54 > 0:03:56to call anywhere in Africa?
0:03:56 > 0:03:57A pound a minute?
0:03:57 > 0:04:02Yeah. Now I can just prop her up in the corner and we chat away and
0:04:02 > 0:04:09we cook a lamb curry that we had in a hotel in Gaborone, many years ago.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Well, that's the modern world.
0:04:11 > 0:04:1425 years ago.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19Oh, it was so beautiful, and that lamb curry, Dr Haskey. Ah!
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Well, we have promised ourselves that we will eat it together,
0:04:27 > 0:04:28one day, in that hotel.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31One day.
0:04:31 > 0:04:36And you will do. And, until then, the internet is a wonderful thing.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40My friend Mary-Anne and I, we're online gamers.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Ah. Well, I also play Sudoku.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48That's not an online game, Mrs Tembe.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Too dressy?
0:04:53 > 0:04:58Maybe. What about your blue top? With a black skirt and blue tights?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00I'd look like a bruise.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Yes, I see your point.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Wotcha, Thunderhawk.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08If you're going to try and mock me, Nurse Lee,
0:05:08 > 0:05:09try and get my name right.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Yeah, what was it? Oh, Firehawk!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- Correct. Five points to Reid. - See you later.- Yeah.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- When's the awards ceremony? - What's with the pot plant?
0:05:19 > 0:05:20It's a gift.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Al, in the real world, we say it with flowers.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27In Ipurdian, my friend Mary-Anne plays Dazzle Berry,
0:05:27 > 0:05:31and her character has the ability to harness the power of plants.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33So you're taking her that?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Yeah. It's a really thoughtful gift.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38It's a crassula. Apparently, it's a money plant,
0:05:38 > 0:05:40and they're really easy to look after, and they bring good luck.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43And have you actually met her? This FRIEND?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Yeah. Believe it or not, I actually have.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Men don't buy women plants for no reason. You like her!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52What? I don't. We're just friends.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56What, so it's just a dork-fest, then? No sex?
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Excuse me, you don't get to use the D word.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00That is our word.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Dork.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08PHONE RINGING
0:06:08 > 0:06:09Well, I think it's sweet.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12She's a lucky lady, Al! Have a lovely evening.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Yeah, grow up, love birds.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Don't be so sensitive.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Answerphone, answerphone again.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20I feel like we're playing
0:06:20 > 0:06:22answerphone table tennis, or something.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Right, I've just checked, and the M5 is clear.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28So, after I've seen my patient, I'm going to go straight to the
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Punjab Paradise. From the way you've described it,
0:06:31 > 0:06:35I'm expecting nothing short of paradise.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Right, so, erm... Yeah, give me a call back. No, strike that.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Don't call me back cos I'm driving.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42But I'll see you in a bit. Yes. Bye.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47# If you're looking for the big adventure
0:06:47 > 0:06:49# And gold is all that's on your mind...
0:06:49 > 0:06:51PHONE RINGING
0:06:51 > 0:06:56# If all you want's someone to take your picture
0:06:56 > 0:07:00# Then I won't waste your time
0:07:01 > 0:07:06# See, maybe I'm too quiet for ya
0:07:06 > 0:07:10# You probably never noticed me
0:07:11 > 0:07:16# But if you're too big to follow rivers
0:07:16 > 0:07:19# How you ever gonna find the sea? #
0:07:30 > 0:07:34- Oh, er...- Delivery? - Er, yeah, I suppose it is. Gerard?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- Is there a card?- No, I'm Al.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- I'm just on my way out. - Oh, no worries, I'm...
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Mary-Anne said that you were really busy.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45I finished a bit earlier than I thought I was going to,
0:07:45 > 0:07:48with my patient, and I don't really want to be carrying this around
0:07:48 > 0:07:50to the restaurant, so I thought I'd leave it here for her,
0:07:50 > 0:07:51if that's all right.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Oh, don't tell me Mary-Anne's already got one!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Who's Mary-Anne? - AL CHUCKLES
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Oh, you're serious.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05So, date night for Ayesha?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Mm. She's already booked her taxi.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Mind you, she has sworn off pudding.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Whatever. Laters, Mum!
0:08:11 > 0:08:12How about you, Karen?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Oh, Rob's been cooking all afternoon.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16One of his legendary casseroles.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Of course, a casserole really rather cooks itself.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21It sounds lovely, Karen. Heston's cooking for us.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24And what are you going to be serving tonight?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- He's bought a net of carrots. - Oh, lovely.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32How lovely to be cooked for by somebody else.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Haven't you two done well?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- What?!- Well...
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I don't need a man to cook for me.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Enjoy your carrots!
0:08:47 > 0:08:49It'll be a simple explanation.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51I should imagine so.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Wow! Nice place.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57Very swish!
0:08:59 > 0:09:00I bet you it's my fault.
0:09:02 > 0:09:08It usually is my fault. She'll just live next door, or something.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Where another guy called Gerard lives?
0:09:11 > 0:09:15Oh. Yeah, good point. Or maybe she used to live here.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Yeah, that's what it'll be. Except... Except she didn't.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21She moved a couple of years ago.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23I've lived here over ten years.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24My partner, Juliet, moved in last summer.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Your partner?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30OK, erm...
0:09:31 > 0:09:34I'm going to show you a photograph.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Please tell me that this is not your partner, Juliet.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40It's not.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Good.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45All right, tell you what. Listen to this.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48This is the Mary-Anne that I know.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Hey, there, Firehawk. Been thinking.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57Just up from Punjab Paradise, there's a gelato place.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01I do know her. Her name is Geena.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Geena?- Yes.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Where do you know Geena from?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Speed dating. It was a couple of years ago.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09She came here for dinner.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11She came here?
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Oh, right, and did she move in, by any chance?
0:10:16 > 0:10:17What? But I forgot?
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Look, I don't want to offend you, but I am not the weird one here.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23It was Geena who was odd.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25In what way?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Not quite balanced.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Right, so you dumped her, didn't you?
0:10:31 > 0:10:34I told her we could be friends.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Fair enough.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37She said she had enough friends already.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Look, maybe it's as simple as this.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Her place is seedy, she wants you to think she lives somewhere nicer?
0:10:44 > 0:10:45She liked this house.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Yeah. I can't blame her. I like this house too.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51She was probably just trying to impress you.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54So, what was with the name, then?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57It was speed dating. It will have been a bogus one.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Listen, if I were you, I would meet her as planned,
0:11:01 > 0:11:03and keep my mouth shut.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- I wouldn't embarrass her.- Yeah.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08So I should just go to the restaurant, right?
0:11:08 > 0:11:09That's best.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Just relax and wait for her.
0:11:11 > 0:11:12Yeah.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Yeah. That sounds like a plan.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17- Good luck.- Mm.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22You must pay your window cleaner a fortune.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Artificial sweetener? No, I don't think so.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31Right, I am going to go for a soak.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Have you got enough carrots there?
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Dinner is quarter past eight.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36OK, perfect.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38It's very intriguing. Do you want a hand?
0:11:38 > 0:11:42No, I'm fine. I've got the Hairy Bikers and Mr Kapoor.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44OK, enjoy!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59I am so, so sorry.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01On my life, I ordered a taxi for 20 to.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Said it was outside. Twice. It wasn't.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04You're here now.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Then three turned up. It got a bit heated.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Coat?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Actually, I think I might keep it on.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Really? You look a bit warm.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19But lovely, obviously.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21To be fair, I have got a bit of a sweat on.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Half an hour late, and I got the dress code completely wrong.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Hmm. You kept yourself entertained.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Yeah, I'll get fresh bread.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I'm glad you didn't stand me up.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45You're not, like, one of those gluten-y people, are you?
0:12:45 > 0:12:46No carbs?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Oh, God, no, I'll eat anything, me.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- Menus?- Thanks.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Hello, answerphone, it's your new BFF. Thanks.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Right, so, we were supposed to meet at seven, and it's now...
0:13:02 > 0:13:06It's now 25 to eight, so either I got it wrong,
0:13:06 > 0:13:09which I didn't, or there's something's up.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13So, erm, can you give me a call, let me know, either way?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Right, thank you.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17We have poppadoms, for now.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Emma used to do reviews.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32When it first opened, she did one for here.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33This is so nice.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35You should...
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Answerphone, it is eight o'clock.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52You are officially one hour late. Congratulations(!)
0:13:54 > 0:13:56This is getting weird.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59I met Gerard earlier, which was equally weird.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I'm starting to get the feeling that something's up, so...
0:14:03 > 0:14:05- SIGHS - You know what?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07I'm going to give your work switchboard a call.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Right, speak to you later. Bye.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Sorry, do you want to come and join me(?)
0:14:12 > 0:14:15You might be able to hear me a bit better.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Rude.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Good evening, ABL 24/7, Resource and Fulfilment Management.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Collette speaking. How may I direct your call?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Hello, Collette. I'm trying to reach one of your executives,
0:14:29 > 0:14:32but I think there's a problem with her direct line.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33I don't think so.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37OK, well, do you think you could go and check her office for me?
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Sorry, no.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- It's really important. - I'm sure it is, sir,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43but our phone system is perpetually fault-monitored.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Our lines do not go down, and I don't leave reception.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48OK, I understand that, Collette,
0:14:48 > 0:14:50but I've been trying to reach her all afternoon.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53She was supposed to meet me an hour ago,
0:14:53 > 0:14:55and there was some weird mix up with her address...
0:14:55 > 0:14:57And her phones?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Yeah, I've tried them. Her mobile AND landline.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Look, come on, man. I'm waiting in a restaurant for her.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Oh, dear, that must be horribly embarrassing.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09It is a bit. She was supposed to meet me at seven.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Sir, may I suggest that you have obviously been stood up?
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Rude.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21So that Jen woman cancelled her membership
0:15:21 > 0:15:23because your gym's not racist?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26That's about the size of it.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Good.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Did you have to wrestle her for her membership card back?
0:15:30 > 0:15:32It's a cut.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35My mother's a nurse. You know what nurses are like.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Sure do.- And mothers.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41What about yours? What's your mum do?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45I think I'm going to go straight to mains.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48OK, me too.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51So we're both pudding-people!
0:15:51 > 0:15:55I think I'll have this - the Coquille St Jacques.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00The Jalfrezi called for a tablespoon of sugar,
0:16:00 > 0:16:04but I thought, "Why spoil our low-sugar day?"
0:16:04 > 0:16:06You've made Gajrela?
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Yes, I cut out the sugar and the ghee,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11and the sweetness is basically carrots.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12And raisins.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14And you had raisins with your dried apricots
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- on your muesli this morning. - It's a healthy option.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Mm. Still a lot of sugar.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Well, that's why I had pasta for lunch.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23With commercially made tomato sauce.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Well, it's tomato, chilli, olive oil, salt.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Yeah, if you'd have made it yourself,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31then that would be nutritious and delicious, but the one you had,
0:16:31 > 0:16:35that probably had as much sugar as a chocolate eclair.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37All right, I'm going to show you something.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Don't get stuff out the bin when I've made us a lovely supper.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43OK, sorry, sorry, sorry.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47This is a healthy curry, and the dessert is basically carrots.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49That is not "basically carrots".
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Well, I made it from scratch.
0:16:54 > 0:16:59It might have carrots in, and it's orange, but what about the raisins?
0:16:59 > 0:17:00What is it with you and raisins?
0:17:00 > 0:17:01They're sugary little critters.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Oh, come on!
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Right, I need to show you how sly sugar is.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- Do you?- Yes.- Really?- Mm-hm.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12HE SIGHS
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Good evening, ABL 24/7, Resource and Fulfilment...
0:17:18 > 0:17:20OK, just tell me if you've seen her today.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22- Who?- Mary-Anne Hanson.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Who? We haven't got a Mary-Anne anything.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27She's tall, she's got bright red hair.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Still not ringing any bells. Sorry.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33All right, you might know her as Geena?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35She was definitely in her office this morning.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38I know she was, cos we video-called.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Look, please? I'm getting worried about her.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Do you think you could give me her home address?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Do I sound like the sort of receptionist who'd volunteer
0:17:47 > 0:17:49data-protected intel?
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- No, of course not. - Is her hair straight or curly?
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Straight. Bright, red, straight hair. Have you seen her?
0:17:59 > 0:18:04She's showing as "at desk". Leave a message if you must.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07No, no, no, no. I left loads of messages.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Please, do you think you could go and double-check?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12I'll call you back.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14- Great. Have you got my number?- Yes!
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Excuse me.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35What is that?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I thought Coquille St Jacques was chicken.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39It's scallops.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Not like any scallop I've ever had.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Do you usually have yours from the chip shop?
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Yeah, they're battered potato. That's a mollusc.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Seafood?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Oh.
0:18:54 > 0:18:59Here, have my chicken. I love scallops. Honest.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Thanks.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08RECORDING: Thank you for calling ABL 24, your call is important to us.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34You must be Collette. Is she here?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Who? Where?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Mary-Anne/Geena. Is she in her office?
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- She doesn't have an office. - "She doesn't have an..."
0:19:42 > 0:19:44All right, well, is she at her desk?
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Sorry.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Of course, she can't be at her desk,
0:19:47 > 0:19:49cos if she was, she'd be answering my calls.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- Unless...- Unless...?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54..she thought you'd take the hint.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57You know, there could be something seriously wrong with her.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Have you considered that?
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Watch this gentleman for me, please, Andrew.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06He is not an authorised visitor.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Just popping onto the floor.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13All right?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23OK, which desk is hers?
0:20:23 > 0:20:24You have no right to be in here.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Your computer says that she is here, so where is she?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34They hot desk.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35They hot desk.
0:20:37 > 0:20:42Ha! See? You can't make someone phone you back.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Geena, I'm sorry, but this person feels that it's appropriate...
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Geena.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Geena?
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Honestly, nothing ever changes.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57I'm too black for some, too white for others.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59There was this white girl at school, Nicky,
0:20:59 > 0:21:01couldn't stand me, proper little racist.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Anyway, last time I saw her in town,
0:21:02 > 0:21:05she'd sprayed herself the colour of a leather boot.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06What an idiot!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08That was delicious, by the way.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Mine, too.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11- More?- Oh, yes, please.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19- Yeah?- Thanks.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25BELCHES
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Whoa!- Oh, my God.
0:21:31 > 0:21:36I am so sorry. Tonight is jinxed.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Ta-da! OK, a little visual aid.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48This is the amount of sugar that was on your plate,
0:21:48 > 0:21:49with that tomato sauce,
0:21:49 > 0:21:51and this is your dried raisins and fruit.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- Could you be any more patronising? - What?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I thought I was making us a lovely meal.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Obviously, I got it all wrong.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Because actually interacting with your co-workers
0:22:10 > 0:22:12is really difficult(!)
0:22:12 > 0:22:14People don't just die.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Well, apparently in this establishment, they do,
0:22:16 > 0:22:18and nobody notices.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I mean, do you not talk to each other?
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Do you not share water cooler moments?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25If you'd checked on her when I...
0:22:29 > 0:22:32At what point did we stop talking to each other?
0:22:32 > 0:22:33I'm so sorry.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36How?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Well, it's impossible to say at this stage.
0:22:40 > 0:22:46It could be anything. Maybe Adult Sudden Death Syndrome.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- I don't know. - She was fit. Geena ran marathons.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52I didn't know that.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56What now? I mean, with funerals and everything.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Well, there'll be a post mortem,
0:22:59 > 0:23:03and then the police will try and track down her family.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Donkeys.- What?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Geena ran marathons to raise money for a sanctuary.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Did she not tell you that?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- No.- No?
0:23:13 > 0:23:14But she was your friend.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Yeah, we'd known each other for years.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24I'm not sure we DID know each other.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Baby donkeys are the cutest things.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I didn't even know her real name.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45We weren't going Dutch.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Whatever. Keep it.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Get yourself a new shirt, when you go on a date with someone normal.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51What's normal?
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Not being half an hour late, overdressed,
0:23:54 > 0:23:55loo roll stuck to my shoe,
0:23:55 > 0:23:57then I ordered seafood thinking it was...
0:23:57 > 0:23:58So what?
0:24:00 > 0:24:01I burped.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06It was... It was loud.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07Let's just leave it, yeah?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09I can put it on myself.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Maybe you're not normal, but I think you're sweet,
0:24:24 > 0:24:26and right now, I really fancy something sweet.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42GEENA ON RECORDING: Hey, there, Firehawk. Been thinking.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46Just up from Punjab Paradise, there's a gelato place.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48A-mazing.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52You can get a scoop of gelato as big as your head, and you know what
0:24:52 > 0:24:56I always say - nobody on the Titanic was glad they passed on dessert!
0:24:56 > 0:25:00# If you're looking for the big adventure... #
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I can't wait to see you, Al.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06# And gold is all that's on your mind
0:25:06 > 0:25:10# If all you want's someone to take your picture
0:25:11 > 0:25:14# Then I won't waste your time
0:25:16 > 0:25:19# See, maybe I'm too quiet for ya
0:25:21 > 0:25:24# You probably never noticed me
0:25:25 > 0:25:30# But if you're too big to follow rivers
0:25:30 > 0:25:34# How you ever gonna find the sea?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37# So, follow me
0:25:37 > 0:25:40# I'll be your river, river
0:25:40 > 0:25:43# I'll do the running for ya
0:25:43 > 0:25:49# Follow me I'll be your river, river
0:25:49 > 0:25:53# I'll move the mountains for ya
0:25:53 > 0:25:59# Follow me I'll be your river, river
0:25:59 > 0:26:03# I'm here to keep you floating
0:26:03 > 0:26:09# Follow me I'll be your river, river
0:26:09 > 0:26:13# River, river, yeah. #
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Hey, what did you do that for?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Do you realise there's virtually nothing I can eat?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22I've been having these weird cravings.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Ooh, anything particular?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27You are such a hypocrite!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29What? Because when I start something, I finish it?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Nothing's happening with me and Seb.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Isn't it interesting how the rest of us
0:26:32 > 0:26:34are trying to avoid something bad,
0:26:34 > 0:26:37and here you are, busy trying to avoid something that's good?