0:00:27 > 0:00:30RADIO: You Really Got Me by The Kinks
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Toast.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Oh. Fine with a little scrape.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37# You really got me going
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# You got me so I don't know what I'm doing
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# Yeah, you really got me now
0:00:43 > 0:00:45# You got me so I can't sleep at night
0:00:48 > 0:00:51# Yeah, you really got me now
0:00:51 > 0:00:54# You got me so I don't know what I'm doing
0:00:54 > 0:00:57# Oh, yeah, you really got me now
0:00:57 > 0:00:59# You got me so I can't sleep at night
0:00:59 > 0:01:03# You really got me You really got me... #
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Come on, shoes on!
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Ah, life-saver.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Every morning...
0:01:12 > 0:01:15# I always wanna be by your side... #
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I hope the rain holds off.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Don't fancy Haverton Hill in a downpour.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Chris?
0:01:27 > 0:01:28Chris?
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Christine! Chris!
0:01:33 > 0:01:34What? What?
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- Ah!- What?- Don't do that to me!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38HE LAUGHS
0:01:38 > 0:01:43What? Can't a girl have a doze off without you getting a coronary?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- If you're too tired, we don't have... - Don't even think about it, sunshine.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50This is our last day of normal and we're going to enjoy it.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Now, Dr Vere's going to be here soon so we can crack on.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00So, um, you'd better get that washing-up finished.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07SHE LAUGHS
0:02:07 > 0:02:09THEY LAUGH
0:02:09 > 0:02:11He's the butchest fairy I've ever seen!
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Get out of here! He's so cute! - Isn't she adorable?
0:02:17 > 0:02:22- What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be out on house calls today?- Yeah, I'm just...
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Where did that come from?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Daniel, Mrs Tembe's wondering if you'd like to sit on top of the Christmas tree this year.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39So juvenile.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43And hardly his best side.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46HE LAUGHS
0:02:50 > 0:02:52The transport's arranged for tomorrow.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54They should be with you before 11.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56And it's wheelchair compatible?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Absolutely.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I take it you'll be going along with Chris, just to settle her in?
0:03:00 > 0:03:04He'd better. I'm going to need him to sort my room out.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07If it was left to her, she'd never have any pictures on the wall,
0:03:07 > 0:03:09beds never made...!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11I'm sure the staff there will help with that sort of thing.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Yeah, you hear that? I'm going to have staff.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18What are you talking about? You've had staff for the last 40 years.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20THEY LAUGH
0:03:20 > 0:03:23How's everything else? Breathing and swallowing OK?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- Yeah. All tickety-boo.- Great.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29There's a dietician at the nursing home, so if any problems do develop,
0:03:29 > 0:03:33just speak to her, and I can arrange an appointment with a speech and language therapist, so...
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Right, I'll leave you to your packing, then.
0:03:37 > 0:03:42This is our last day together - we're not going to waste it packing.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43What's she like?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Anyone would think she was moving to Outer Mongolia,
0:03:46 > 0:03:48not just up the road!
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Whose stupid idea was it to put the bench up here?
0:03:59 > 0:04:03- THEY LAUGH - Never thought of that, did we?
0:04:03 > 0:04:07The exercise'll do you good. You're getting a paunch.
0:04:13 > 0:04:18I suppose there's going to come a point one day when we can't manage that walk up here.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20When we're old and grey.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22And we need walking sticks.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24And ear trumpets.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26I wonder which one of us'll go first.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31You, of course! I'm much fitter and healthier.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34I am. I'm going to go on till I'm 90,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37then I'm going to go just like that, in my sleep.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- No fuss, no malingering. - I don't know.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43I don't want to go when I'm fit and healthy.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45It's like...that's a waste.
0:04:46 > 0:04:51I'd rather slowly wind down. That way, I wouldn't mind so much.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54I'd mind - I'd be the one having to look after you!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56On second thoughts...!
0:04:56 > 0:04:57HE LAUGHS
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Every time we come up here, it rains.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09SHE LAUGHS
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Exercise'll do you good. You're getting a paunch.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Oi, cheeky!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26I'm probably not going to make it up here again.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Course you will.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Hey, I'll bring you. Whenever you want.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41"No-one will be interested," she said. "No-one will care."
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Well, look who's wrong.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46"Digging the shapely ankles, bro!"
0:05:46 > 0:05:48You have friends who call you bro?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Not the point I was making.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I've had four messages and two propositions!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Of the indecent variety, I hope.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Not helping, Zara, OK?
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Oh, come on. Don't be so sensitive.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Who cares what some Neanderthal from the golf club thinks?
0:06:05 > 0:06:07I think you look sexy.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Sexy?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Yes!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14The way that leotard accentuates the contours of your shoulders.
0:06:14 > 0:06:19The way those soft, silky tights cling to the taut muscularity of your thighs.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22I have an idea.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Why don't we get Joe down early tonight
0:06:25 > 0:06:29and then we could play a little dress-up.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33I've got a Vivienne Westwood that would look divine on you.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35You want me to wear a dress?
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Just hearing you say the words...!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49MUSIC: You Really Got Me by The Kinks
0:06:49 > 0:06:53HE IMITATES GUITAR RIFF
0:06:53 > 0:06:55# Girl, you really got me going
0:06:55 > 0:06:59# You got me so I don't know what I'm doing
0:06:59 > 0:07:03# Oh... # Oh, oh! My knees! I've got to get up!
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- You're getting old.- Oi! Watch it!
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Oh, and I've got you the chicken liver parfait to start.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- I wanted the anchovy crostini. - I know,
0:07:12 > 0:07:14and I know Dr Vere said it would be fine,
0:07:14 > 0:07:16but I don't want you struggling to swallow.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20- I'm not struggling.- Yeah, but the parfait'll go down easier.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24I'm not a child. I'm perfectly capable of ordering what I want to eat.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Today was meant to be perfect, wasn't it?
0:07:28 > 0:07:32I've been craving anchovies all morning, and now you've just gone and ruined it.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Chris, I'll change it. Look, it's only a starter.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36It's NOT only a starter!
0:07:36 > 0:07:43Look, tomorrow, I'm going to be in a nursing home surrounded with old people eating nothing but...
0:07:43 > 0:07:47nothing but soup, and I won't be with you.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Nothing's going to be the same.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Nothing's ever going to be the same again.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00- Hey.- What you doing for lunch?
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Um, I've got two options.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08Option one - Hollywood siren Christina Hendriks has invited me on a sexy picnic.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Or option two - I made myself a lettuce sandwich this morning
0:08:12 > 0:08:14when I was late for work.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- Probably going to go with the sandwich, out of the two options.- Or option three - Icon.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- Lunch on me, because I need to talk to you about something.- Icon?
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Uh, Dr Clay.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25I have been told that there will be food tomorrow night,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27so there is no need to eat beforehand.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I got the e-mail, thank you.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Food will be provided? What's happening tomorrow night?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Er...excuse me.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- What's happening tomorrow night? Where are we going? - Tell you at lunch.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42All right. Enough of the international man of mystery thing.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- Spit it out, Jimmi. - I'm doing the Vita course.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49You're doing the Vita course?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Wow, nothing?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Icon, two o'clock.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57Icon, two o'clock.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04One crostini on its way.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I'm sorry.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10It's all right.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12It's your day, it should be perfect.
0:09:14 > 0:09:19You know how we always said if things got bad,
0:09:19 > 0:09:24if we couldn't communicate, or move or do stuff for ourselves,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26how we didn't want to get like that?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Yeah, but that's a long way off.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35Maybe, but it's no longer a hypothetical conversation.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Don't be daft. You can still do loads of things.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42No, Eric, I can still do some things.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44But that list is getting shorter.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51I still want warm toasted bread, with garlic and olive oil.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Not pate.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56And then...soup.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58And then a feeding tube.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07I just thought today was going to be a perfect send-off.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12And it has. It's been lovely, don't get me wrong.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18But, um, it's all going to get harder, isn't it?
0:10:19 > 0:10:24You won't be able to turn up and take me out to the cinema
0:10:24 > 0:10:28or to Connie's bench whenever I feel like it.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33You'll have to organise transport and sign me out.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34OK.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38Look, we'll find a way of keeping you at home.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Get some more help.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Dr Vere'll help ask for extra home care.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Sweetheart, you can't lift me now.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Your back's gone and your knees are going in the same direction.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I'm going to need round-the-clock care, and I can't get that at home.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02Look, every time we talk about this, we always say the same thing, don't we?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04WE don't want to get like that.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Well, I am getting like that.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13And now we need to discuss the alternative.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20I bet you 50 quid that your course is going to be populated...
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Thank you. ..with people who are in distress,
0:11:23 > 0:11:26whether they're grieving or there's some kind of addiction.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Whatever it is. "I'm feeling really low."
0:11:29 > 0:11:32"Welcome to religion, man, cos we have all the answers!"
0:11:32 > 0:11:35That sounds like someone I know, doesn't it?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38All right. I'm going to give you a practical demonstration.
0:11:38 > 0:11:44Here we have two pieces of potato, machine-cut into the same shape
0:11:44 > 0:11:48and cooked for the same amount of time, and yet they look completely different.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52What's your point?
0:11:52 > 0:11:58My point is that sometimes there is no pattern. Sometimes things just are.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02And you have to learn to embrace the random, wonderful, chaotic nature of life.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07Understanding IS celebrating and embracing.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Learning, passing your knowledge on, your values...
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Darwin teaches us all about passing on our knowledge, doesn't he?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Survival of the fittest? Come on, Jimmi.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19You cannot argue with Charlie D.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- Ap-ap! Hands off!- Too late.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I've always respected you, Chris.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37You're one of the most considered, practical people I've ever known.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42But this isn't something you just rush.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Look, as of tomorrow, I'm going to be monitored round the clock.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49I won't even be able to sneeze without someone rushing to help me.
0:12:51 > 0:12:56Look, what if someone comes and finds me before...
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Come on, we're looking at renal failure, heart failure...
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- Chris!- You wouldn't have to give them to me.
0:13:02 > 0:13:07OK? Just take them out of the packet.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10All I've ever wanted to do is make you happy.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13And you ask me this, with no concern of what it'll do to me!
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Of course I'm concerned. - This isn't just about you.
0:13:18 > 0:13:23You know, I don't know how to be, without YOU.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26I've got to get used to doing everything without you being there,
0:13:26 > 0:13:30to say I look daft in my trainers, to stop me burning the toast.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- Have cereal.- Look, we're not going to make a joke out of this.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35You think this is easy for me?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Of course I don't think it's easy for you,
0:13:37 > 0:13:40but that doesn't mean to say it's not unbearable for me!
0:13:40 > 0:13:42And then you ask me something like this?
0:13:42 > 0:13:45It's selfish, that's what it is.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47I'm selfish?
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Look! It's in there all the time, nagging away.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Whatever you're doing, whatever we're doing, having a nice time,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58and it's there - "Make the most of it, she won't be there much longer."
0:13:58 > 0:14:03And you want to take that time we DO have, and just...kill it.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04SHE CHOKES
0:14:04 > 0:14:06You OK?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08SHE GASPS I'm...
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- I'm choking.- It's OK. Look, look, look.- I'm choking.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Just small breaths. Try and keep calm.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18So, if there's a collective consciousness,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21then presumably there must be some sort of life force
0:14:21 > 0:14:24for the consciousness to exist in.
0:14:24 > 0:14:25What?!
0:14:25 > 0:14:30I'm sorry, but that is like saying that the leaf moved because it has its own will,
0:14:30 > 0:14:32rather than it being the wind!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34An external force, one you can't see,
0:14:34 > 0:14:35exerting its will on the leaf.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- It doesn't have a will - it's the wind!- How do you know what does and doesn't have a will?
0:14:39 > 0:14:43You're saying these things because you think you choose to, but what if something is making you say them?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Nothing makes me do anything apart from me.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Maybe that's what they want you to think.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Who's "they"?
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some great puppeteer in the sky.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54What if Galileo had agreed?
0:14:54 > 0:14:57What if he thought, "Yeah, the leaf moves because the great puppeteer wants it to"?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Let's forget science, let's forget the weather.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01It's easier if it's the great puppeteer.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Then we don't have to deal with the mess we make.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07We don't have to try and struggle with the futility of our existence!
0:15:07 > 0:15:10If everyone thinks their life is futile, what's to stop them just blowing each other up?
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Absolutely nothing!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14But there must be something, because it hasn't happened.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16It hasn't happened YET, but it will.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19We started with a big bang, and I prophesy that we will end with a big bang!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I'm going to go into this with an open mind.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23I know I don't have all the answers.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Neither do you. Difference is, you just think you do.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34All done. You'll live.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I'm so sorry to have dragged you out here.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40I can't believe that I thought an ambulance was necessary.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45I mean, it's one thing reading up about swallowing difficulties.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49It's another when you think you can't breathe.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52It's all right. I was only nearby. So, what happened?
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Ask her.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Oh...don't mind him.
0:15:58 > 0:16:03We had a row, and, um, I just took it out on the pasta.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- May I?- Yes.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12It is an emotional time for you both. You've both got lots of adapting to do.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Would you mind breathing in and out for me?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16SHE BREATHES DEEPLY
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Yeah, sounds OK.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26So, why didn't you tell me this morning about your swallowing?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Cos it doesn't seem that bad, really.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36Well, I suppose I didn't want to admit that I was ticking another thing off the list
0:16:36 > 0:16:41of stuff I can't do. You know - can't do this, can't do that.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Cos there's no undoing any of it.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46And that list just gets longer.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01It's typical, isn't it?
0:17:01 > 0:17:02The more you build something up,
0:17:02 > 0:17:06the more you want it to be perfect, the more likely it is to go wrong.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Look, it's just one little disagreement.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12It'll all be forgotten about tomorrow.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15If Chris has her way, there won't be tomorrow.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18She doesn't want to go into a home.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20She just told me she'd rather die.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Come on, man.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31We disagree and you take it as an insult?
0:17:31 > 0:17:35You don't understand something so you just pooh-pooh it.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Pooh-pooh it? You're even starting to talk like one of them!
0:17:38 > 0:17:40- You're being ridiculous. - I'm being ridiculous?
0:17:40 > 0:17:44You have a go at me cos I'm trying to talk you out of making a pillock of yourself!
0:17:44 > 0:17:47You can't talk me out of anything. I don't need your permission!
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Then why ask me?- I have no idea!
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Well, I do. It's because you WANT me to talk you out of it.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58It's not a problem. Jimmi, I forbid you from going.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01You forbid me? You...? You can't forbid me from doing anything!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04I can and I am. You are NOT going on that course.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Oh, Al! OK, do you know why I wanted to talk to you?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12I wanted you to hear me out.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16I wanted to have a reasonable, adult conversation,
0:18:16 > 0:18:17which is why I want to go and do the Vita course,
0:18:17 > 0:18:20cos I can't expect to get that from you.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22You reckon you want what's best for me?
0:18:22 > 0:18:26You can't even be bothered to shut up for one minute to figure out what that might be!
0:18:38 > 0:18:41She's, um, "resting her eyes".
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Why the stubborn beggar can't admit she's just having a nap, I don't know.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Might be best to not leave them out.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Makes no difference.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55She can't manage the packets any more.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Then you're in charge, Eric.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59If she can't get the tablets out herself, then it's not her decision.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03- It's yours.- Never my strong point.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06It's easier to let Chris do it.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08It's either black or white with her. There's no dithering.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I don't know how I'm going to manage when she's not here.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16The thought that it's sooner rather than later...
0:19:16 > 0:19:20It's not just what's right for her. It's what's right for you.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25I always thought if it's right for Chris, it's all right by me. If she's happy, I'm happy.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28This isn't the same as choosing socks or a new carpet.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33No-one doubts that you love Christine,
0:19:33 > 0:19:34but you can't let that ruin your future.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38I know it might not seem like it, but you DO have a future.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Chris isn't dead yet. Neither are you.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Imagine Connie were in your shoes.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49What would you tell her to do?
0:19:49 > 0:19:53I'd tell her not to be so daft and think about herself.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59So you're not going to do anything silly?
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Yeah, you're right. I'm not dead yet.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04Um...
0:20:06 > 0:20:08I'll see myself out, OK?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Sorry for ruining our day.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20DOOR SHUTS
0:20:20 > 0:20:23And for being a selfish cow.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27Yeah. Well, at least you're my selfish cow.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28THEY LAUGH
0:20:30 > 0:20:36I just thought...illness is something you have to fight,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38and I'm strong,
0:20:38 > 0:20:44and I'm just not going to let it get any worse, but...
0:20:44 > 0:20:47well, I can hardly stand now,
0:20:47 > 0:20:53and this hand is going to be useless a few weeks from now,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56and my mouth doesn't want to work any more...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01..so I just can't win this fight.
0:21:03 > 0:21:08My love... I don't want to cook for one.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I don't want to rattle round this house by myself.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12That day's coming whether we like it or not.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15I just want to be able to decide when it is.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19Now, I know you can't help me,
0:21:19 > 0:21:21but I am going to find a way, Eric.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29You said you wanted to end the day watching South Pacific in bed.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32OK, let's do it.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38HE SIGHS
0:21:38 > 0:21:40MUSIC FROM SOUTH PACIFIC ON TELEVISION
0:21:40 > 0:21:42TV OFF
0:21:51 > 0:21:53HE SNIFFS
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Is this really what you want?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Yes, my love.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03HE SNIFFS
0:22:03 > 0:22:064th April 1978,
0:22:06 > 0:22:09I vowed I would do anything for you.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13And I meant it.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17I love you, Christine Leverty.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19More than life itself.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24There's a letter over there on the laptop.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30It's probably best if the police discover it.
0:22:30 > 0:22:31Don't worry about that.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Wait until the morning before you call them.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Just tell them that you fell asleep on the sofa.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43- Yeah, I'll deal with it.- I just want to be sure you know what to say.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- It doesn't matter. - Course it MATTERS.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Eric?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Eric! Eric, look at me.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59No! No! No, you can't!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01I couldn't live with myself, Chris.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03I don't want to go on living without you.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07So I want to go with you. I'm sorry.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09No, this is not what I wanted.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13How can I...? How can I do this knowing I've made you...?
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- You haven't made me do anything. - I won't let you do it.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Can't stop me.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Hah! This...
0:23:22 > 0:23:25You are so cruel. You...
0:23:27 > 0:23:30I'm never going to forgive you for this.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37How do I know you're even going to do it?
0:23:37 > 0:23:39You don't. Want to risk it?
0:23:45 > 0:23:46Oh, well done.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52You got what you wanted.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57No, my love. I haven't.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02SHE SIGHS
0:24:06 > 0:24:08KNOCK ON DOOR
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Hello.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12You burning the midnight oil?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Oh, I'm just writing a letter to all clinical staff.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- Something wrong?- Christine Leverty?
0:24:19 > 0:24:22I just wanted to flag up a conversation I had with her husband.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25He told me that she wants to end her life.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27She can't do it herself, so she's asked him to help her.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30I've made an appointment for an urgent mental health assessment
0:24:30 > 0:24:32and I've got the ball rolling for additional care at home.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36- Have you contacted the BMA? - Yeah, I left them a message.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Sounds like you've done everything you can.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40You sure? I'm worried I'm missing something.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42No, you've done everything right,
0:24:42 > 0:24:46so why don't you go home, have a stiff drink, try and get some sleep?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07FOOTSTEPS
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- Out like a light.- Ah, good.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Which means that we...
0:25:18 > 0:25:19we can have some fun of our own.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Oh. Do you...? Do you really want me to wear...?
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- I mean, I will, but...- Hmm.- I...
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Let's see!
0:25:32 > 0:25:33SHE LAUGHS
0:25:33 > 0:25:34What?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I much prefer you in your Paul Smith.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- Ah, good.- And out of it.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Good, good.
0:25:41 > 0:25:47But...don't you think that things have been just a little bit vanilla recently?
0:25:47 > 0:25:50- What's wrong with vanilla?- Nothing wrong with vanilla. I adore vanilla.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52But there are other flavours, you know.
0:25:52 > 0:25:57- There's rum and raisin... caramel sauce.- Mm-hm.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Don't you think we should spice things up just a little bit?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Maybe.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't need you dressing as Tinkerbell.
0:26:06 > 0:26:11- Or dressing up in anything that involves cheap polyester.- Good.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14But I have always had a thing for men...
0:26:17 > 0:26:18..men in uniform.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Oh.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Fast forward a year and you're running off with the local fireman.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Don't be silly!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30You loved it when I dressed up as principal boy.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34OK. OK, this could work.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- I could be your officer and a gentleman.- Yeah.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40But you're going to have to do something for me.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Name it!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48HE WHISPERS
0:26:51 > 0:26:53SHE LAUGHS
0:26:56 > 0:27:01You tell them I didn't do it or I'll tell them about you.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Reckons we look the business together.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Actually, I was just asking about mushrooms for the shopping.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- She reckons he's got amazing... - Chicken thighs.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10What?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12- Oi, stop!- Excuse me.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14I'm not sure it's for me.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Everybody has doubts.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18You're lying!