Something Whiskered This Way Comes

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0:00:26 > 0:00:29HOOVERING

0:00:39 > 0:00:43- Heston. How was Tuscany? - Oh, sunshine,

0:00:43 > 0:00:47fine wine, a riveting history of the Napoleonic wars. Bliss!

0:00:47 > 0:00:49And now, a welcoming committee!

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Yeah, did you get my e-mail about the repairs?

0:00:51 > 0:00:53As long as I can get to and from my consultation room.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57- So, tell me, how is Valerie's foot? - Broken.- Oh, dear.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00- So, are you ready to do battle with the builders?- Yeah.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02There's no need for any conflict, though, is there?

0:01:02 > 0:01:04That's never been my experience.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- That's cos you've never had one of these.- A clipboard?

0:01:07 > 0:01:10No, that is a comprehensive spreadsheet of everything the

0:01:10 > 0:01:11contractors need to know.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Napoleon would be impressed with your fore planning!

0:01:14 > 0:01:16- It's working, though. Five minutes early.- Oh.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18- You have a tick box for that?- Mm.

0:01:24 > 0:01:29- Dr Clay?- Hi.- Denny Cheeseman. - Bulletpoint 3 of your instructions?

0:01:30 > 0:01:32Park round the back.

0:01:32 > 0:01:36- But there's plenty of room here.- I don't want the patients finding out.

0:01:36 > 0:01:39Of course. Sorry. I'll be like one of our hairy chums.

0:01:39 > 0:01:40You won't know I'm here.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Tantric pest control?

0:01:46 > 0:01:49Yeah, um, he uses humane traps to capture the animals and then

0:01:49 > 0:01:51he releases them into the wild.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Well, as long as he rids us of our unwelcome guests.

0:01:53 > 0:01:56I wouldn't want this to go down as Jimmi Clay's Waterloo.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Oh, you really did enjoy that book, didn't you?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Oh, hello. What happened to you this morning?

0:02:05 > 0:02:08I was looking forward to a catch up over breakfast but you'd already gone.

0:02:08 > 0:02:12- I had to drop the car off for a new tyre. Coffee?- Oh, please.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16- Good weekend?- So-so.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19- You?- Yeah. It was nice to be away. Although it was a bit of a shock

0:02:19 > 0:02:22- coming back to such a quiet house. - Sid will be back soon.

0:02:23 > 0:02:28- What about Karl? I saw his stuff had gone.- How should I know?

0:02:28 > 0:02:30I'm only his sister.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32I see.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Come on, then. What's happened?

0:02:35 > 0:02:39- We had a bit of a bust up. - About?- This CFS business.

0:02:39 > 0:02:43How he's letting everyone down. His family, the army, himself.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47- Aren't you even in the least bit curious as to where he might be? - No. He'll have gone to Debs.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Probably spent the whole weekend slagging me off.- Come on, Ayesha.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53I'm sure he appreciates everything you've done for him.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56At least you don't have to put up with another one of my sponging relatives.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Oh, don't be silly. Karl was no trouble.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12It's the little things that get to you,

0:03:12 > 0:03:15like showering with a bin liner over your foot.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17And that is as easy as it sounds(!)

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Suddenly, pulling on your knickers becomes an Olympic sport.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26But what I will say is being incapacitated really does

0:03:26 > 0:03:28reveal who your real friends are.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Any time!

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Yeah, no, but look who was first to volunteer.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35And after all the trouble I've been.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39You know, you having to check all my work and now, breaking my foot.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41Yeah, well, it's not like you did it on purpose.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45It's probably best if you park round the back and use those doors.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48- Cheers, mate. - I wasn't expecting to see you today.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51- Oh, I was hoping to make up for, you know...- Destroying the surgery?

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Hey, she's come in to work with a broken foot!

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Can I just apologise again for my moment of madness?

0:03:57 > 0:04:01- Listen, ceilings can be replaced. You can't.- Aw. Thanks, Dr Clay.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04- If there's anything you need, just...- No, I'm on it.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06- Um, tea?- Why not?- Okey-doke.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13So, last 50 miles. Are you glad to be back?

0:04:13 > 0:04:17- Well, all good things must come to an end.- But you've had fun?

0:04:17 > 0:04:21- I have never felt so liberated. - Then why does it have to stop?

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Because we both have responsibilities to get back to.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26Or we could turn around, fire up the beast,

0:04:26 > 0:04:28and go wherever the road takes us.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34- I have always wanted to tour around Scotland.- Then why stop there?

0:04:34 > 0:04:36What about Europe? Australia!

0:04:36 > 0:04:41- Now, that would be an adventure! - TEXT ALERT

0:04:41 > 0:04:42Let me guess. Karen.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46She wants to know what time we will be getting back.

0:04:46 > 0:04:50You'd think she was your mother, the way she keeps checking up on you.

0:04:50 > 0:04:54There is no true freedom now that we are connected all the time.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57But I will not forget what I have learned on this trip.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Biking gives you clarity.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Lets you focus on what's really important.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04The joy of the open road.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07Being spontaneous.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Like this.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15SHE GIGGLES

0:05:18 > 0:05:20HE LAUGHS

0:05:24 > 0:05:26It was bigger than a Chihuahua.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Was it bigger than a Yorkipoo?

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Smaller. But not by much.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Are you sure it wasn't a stray cat?

0:05:33 > 0:05:37No, definitely not. Not with those beady eyes and that scaly tail.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42- Rats are normally nocturnal. - Well, this one was very bold.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44Walked with a swagger.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Swaggering rats are the worst!

0:05:46 > 0:05:49This is very useful intel.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Well, I do pride myself on my powers of observation. Good luck.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55- It'll be a mouse, I bet you. - You know?

0:05:55 > 0:05:59There are these tales of a giant albino rat who stalks the

0:05:59 > 0:06:00sewers in New York City.

0:06:00 > 0:06:05It got massive on the protein-rich detritus of the metropolis,

0:06:05 > 0:06:08or it's the subject of a horrible experiment gone wrong.

0:06:08 > 0:06:09No-one really knows.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12But this rat, they call it Ratzilla, and it hangs around near the

0:06:12 > 0:06:16subways, just waiting on vulnerable people they can pounce on.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Can pounce on!

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Then of course, there's the famous Rattenkonig, or Rat King.

0:06:22 > 0:06:26- Come on, then. What's a rat king? - No, I don't think I want to know.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30You do want to know. A rat king is when a whole mass of rats get their tails entwined,

0:06:30 > 0:06:35it becomes one big organism of scratching and clawing and

0:06:35 > 0:06:37teeth and horrible rattiness!

0:06:37 > 0:06:39I'm going to need a bigger cage.

0:06:39 > 0:06:43That's classic. He's going to need a bigger cage. Like Jaws.

0:06:43 > 0:06:44Or should that be Claws?

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Here you go.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Oh, it's like having your own personal assistant.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55- Oh, you'd do the same for me. - PHONE RINGS

0:07:01 > 0:07:03Hello. Mill Health Centre. Ooh!

0:07:03 > 0:07:06How can I help you?

0:07:16 > 0:07:21- Mrs Tembe.- Sergeant Hollins. Has there been a burglary?

0:07:21 > 0:07:23No, not as far as I know.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Oh. Well, that would not have been a very good homecoming.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29- So, why are you here? - I need to have a word with JJ.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34About what exactly?

0:07:34 > 0:07:37Well, that's between me and Mr Kenwright.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Not while you are standing on my drive.- It's OK.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43It is not OK to return and find the police waiting in ambush!

0:07:43 > 0:07:47- It's OK, Sergeant.- Well, if you don't mind coming down the station,

0:07:47 > 0:07:51- I'd like to ask you a few questions about a robbery.- A robbery?

0:07:51 > 0:07:53As you can see, we have just returned.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55This happened before you went away.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58- And you think that JJ's involved? - It's all right.- What?

0:07:58 > 0:08:02- It's a stupid mistake. - Of course, but...

0:08:02 > 0:08:05I'll be back before you've had time to unpack.

0:08:17 > 0:08:18Ooh, not going, are you?

0:08:18 > 0:08:22Um, well, Rob's going away for the weekend and I promised that I

0:08:22 > 0:08:26would get him a yellow tailed pike bunny.

0:08:26 > 0:08:30- Are you sure that's something you want to share?- It's a fishing fly.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Ah, gotcha.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35- And I thought I'd also pop in on Mrs Tembe.- Ah, right.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Get first dibs on her holiday snaps. - Something like that.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Anyway, don't worry. I'm not going to abandon you.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43- Ruhma here said she would take up the baton.- Oh, yeah.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45I'm happy to help.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49- Oh, everyone's been so kind.- I will be back to give you a lift home.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51I hope you find Rob's flies.

0:08:52 > 0:08:57- So, anyway, would you like a cup of tea or some coffee?- Oh, no, thanks.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00Karen's been a tea-making machine.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03I didn't like to say no, what with her being so thoughtful.

0:09:03 > 0:09:08Um, thing is, now I am rather desperate for the loo.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Well, I can cover for you. - No, I need you to help me get in

0:09:11 > 0:09:14and out because crutches and doors don't mix.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16- OK, no problem.- Lifesaver.- Mm.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Excuse me. Contact lenses. Always losing them.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21Denny.

0:09:24 > 0:09:25DRILLING AND BANGING

0:09:25 > 0:09:28What happened to "you won't even know I'm here"?

0:09:28 > 0:09:32Rats have bad eyesight, so they use established routes along skirting boards and walls.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36- I'm looking for the grease marks they leave behind. - I'm not sure I want to know that.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39But there's good news. Judging by the sparse amounts of spoor,

0:09:39 > 0:09:43- you probably only have one rat in residence.- Spoor?- Rat droppings.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46- Do I need to close the surgery?- I wouldn't. I'll catch it in no time.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50If there's only one rat, how come you haven't caught it yet?

0:09:50 > 0:09:53I'm struggling to find its lair. I'll have to search every room.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56- We've got a full list of patients. - I can come back another time.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59No, no, no. OK, it has to be done today.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03Um, I want to work out a schedule where we can fit you in to each consulting room between patients.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Works for me. Have faith.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Destiny sent me to you for a reason, Dr Clay.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11DRILLING AND BANGING

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Debs, sorry to disturb you at work.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19It's just, when you see Karl, can you get him to call me, please?

0:10:19 > 0:10:22What do you mean? Hasn't he been staying with you?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27He must be at Tommo's, then.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29No, I'm sure he's fine.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Yeah. OK. See you.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41- So, how was it?- It was very good, thank you.- Really?

0:10:44 > 0:10:46Why would you think otherwise?

0:10:46 > 0:10:50Well, I've seen happier holidaymakers.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54Well, maybe because I had an unpleasant surprise on our return.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57The police.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59What did they want?

0:10:59 > 0:11:03- And you knew nothing about it? - No, I... I...

0:11:03 > 0:11:06So it is purely coincidence that you asked me what time I would

0:11:06 > 0:11:09return and I find Sergeant Hollins on my doorstep?

0:11:13 > 0:11:16- I was worried about you. - I was on my holiday.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19Yeah, but who with? I mean...

0:11:19 > 0:11:22Someone who has shown me nothing but kindness.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24He didn't show his victims that much kindness.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26JJ was a different man then!

0:11:26 > 0:11:29- He's a thief.- Why do you keep on bringing up the past?

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Because a leopard doesn't change his spots.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34Are you seriously quoting the Bible to ME?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37And what about the sinner who repents?

0:11:37 > 0:11:41Can you honestly say that you trust him?

0:11:41 > 0:11:43Totally.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46At least he has never sneaked or plotted behind my back.

0:11:48 > 0:11:52Sorry. I didn't want you to get hurt.

0:11:52 > 0:11:56Well, thank you for your unnatural interest in my private life,

0:11:56 > 0:11:59but you can stop now.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01- I...- No!

0:12:01 > 0:12:03No, Mrs Hollins.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05It is time for you to leave.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16SHE CHUCKLES

0:12:16 > 0:12:19Don't tell me. Tom Hiddleston's sexting you again.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23Oh, I wish. No, it's just more pictures of the perfect Caribbean.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Oh, it's all right for some.

0:12:25 > 0:12:29- Is that a snorkel? - I think it's a snorkel.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32I don't know why Zara's sending me her happy snaps.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38- What's the matter with you? - BUMPING AND BANGING

0:12:38 > 0:12:41It's Karl. He still hasn't bothered phoning.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Oh, and he's not taking your calls?

0:12:43 > 0:12:48- After everything I've done for him. - Hm.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51- Do you think that maybe you're being a bit, um...?- What?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Being a little hard on him? - It's called tough love.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Hm.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Maybe he's only hearing the tough bit.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Yeah, well, I don't want him slipping back, that's all.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06- Once a teenage stoner... - I know, but...

0:13:11 > 0:13:14Excuse me. This is the ladies.

0:13:14 > 0:13:18- Oh, rats are intelligent, but they can't read.- Is that talc?

0:13:18 > 0:13:21Just a little rat catcher's trick. See, he walks through here and leaves a trail,

0:13:21 > 0:13:25- which will hopefully lead back to his lair.- Yes, and then a patient will slip on it,

0:13:25 > 0:13:28- which is a health and safety nightmare.- So is having a rat.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31- Do you think it's been in here? - Undoubtedly.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Oh, so they can open doors?

0:13:33 > 0:13:36It doesn't need to. See, the rat's got an amazing anatomy.

0:13:36 > 0:13:41Its bones are so flexible, it can squeeze through the tightest space.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44- What sort of space?- A toilet U bend.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- You mean...?- I could be sitting on there and...- Yes!

0:13:47 > 0:13:51A rattus norvegicus can pop up in the most unexpected places.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56To think I used to come in here for a quiet five minutes.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59JJ, have they...?

0:14:02 > 0:14:04Sergeant Hollins. Where is JJ?

0:14:06 > 0:14:09Well...have you charged him?

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Well, if you cannot say, why are you phoning me?

0:14:16 > 0:14:19So you want to drag me to the police station, too?

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Right.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Right, I will be waiting for you.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39- You idiot! - Say hello to my little friend.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41I have nicknamed him Ratty McSockface.

0:14:41 > 0:14:45- Did that come off your foot? - Um, oh, yes!

0:14:45 > 0:14:46Gross.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49- He's bought you a present and you're going to need them.- Why?

0:14:49 > 0:14:52Rats love dark passageways.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54None more so than a trouser leg.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Project Fear might work on Valerie. I'm not so gullible.- Right, fine.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00But when you get nibbled on your nether region,

0:15:00 > 0:15:01don't say you weren't warned.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04All I'm saying is, wouldn't it have

0:15:04 > 0:15:07been more convenient to have done this at the weekend?

0:15:07 > 0:15:11- Do you know how much more that would have cost?- Just as I thought.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13DRILLING AND BANGING

0:15:19 > 0:15:20It's a chocolate chip.

0:15:20 > 0:15:24But it is evidence of a rat's paradise you've created with

0:15:24 > 0:15:27- all this food lying around. - Well, we try to keep it clean.

0:15:27 > 0:15:31Well, one chocolate chip is hardly a rodent's smorgasbord.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33What about the crumbs I found under the fridge?

0:15:35 > 0:15:37I'd say it was Formaggio di Fossa cheese.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39You should store food in sealed containers.

0:15:39 > 0:15:44- You might only have one rat to deal with at the moment, but if it breeds...- Excuse me.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46How can you be a pest controller when Buddhists believe that

0:15:46 > 0:15:48no sentient being should be killed?

0:15:48 > 0:15:52My preferred solution is to encourage the clients to live

0:15:52 > 0:15:54- in harmony with the rat. - Right, and how's that working out?

0:15:54 > 0:15:58Leptospirosis, Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00The Black Death.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Everyone blames the rats. In this case, I've gone for humane trapping.

0:16:03 > 0:16:09Never fear. Denny Cheeseman's on the job and no-one knows more about our whiskered friends.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17OK, so maybe it wasn't the best idea, but I could hardly have

0:16:17 > 0:16:19the death of a small animal

0:16:19 > 0:16:22- on my conscience, could I? - You're a coward.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25SAWING

0:16:25 > 0:16:27I always fancied crossing America on a Harley.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30But, of course, I wouldn't be able to take Karen.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34She wouldn't be able to ride pillion for more than five minutes.

0:16:34 > 0:16:38Yes, well, anyway, Mrs Tembe, if you don't mind, I need to ask you

0:16:38 > 0:16:41- about your whereabouts on April the 4th, just gone.- I've no idea.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45- I would have to check my diary. - Yeah, that'd be good.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57April the 4th.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06I was at the Icon bar with JJ.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08Can anyone verify that?

0:17:08 > 0:17:11I was joined by several colleagues from the Mill,

0:17:11 > 0:17:13including Mrs Hollins.

0:17:13 > 0:17:14Good.

0:17:14 > 0:17:18What about after that? Do you know where JJ was at about 11:30pm?

0:17:20 > 0:17:21Yes.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24And where would that be?

0:17:24 > 0:17:26He was here with me.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Until when?

0:17:30 > 0:17:32All night.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34Right.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36Good.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39That's all I need to know.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Good. I'll... Yeah, thank you, Mrs Tembe.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52I don't know what it was they gave me.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55But after that first injection, I did not feel a thing.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Wonderful stuff!

0:17:58 > 0:18:00- Where do you want to go? - Anywhere. I don't mind.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Oh, and then this lovely porter took me down to the X-ray.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07Jamaican chap. Sang all the way.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09Something by Adele, but in a reggae fashion.

0:18:11 > 0:18:15And then the X-ray technician told me that I had got lovely bones.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19- So, here we are.- Oh, actually, the table might be better. Do you mind?

0:18:19 > 0:18:21Of course not.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27Ooh, here we go.

0:18:27 > 0:18:28Ah, lovely, thanks.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32There we go. Right, so, you've got some water, some salt, pepper.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36- Oh, this looks yummy.- Good. - Just one thing missing.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Grated cheese. There should be some in the fridge.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42And a wet wipe. I've got some in my handbag.

0:18:42 > 0:18:43Thanks, Ruhma.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50It's not that they don't like you.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57Nobody has any bad feelings for you.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59What's he doing?

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Meta meditation.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04But there are plenty of places outside where you can live

0:19:04 > 0:19:06a happy life.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10What for?

0:19:10 > 0:19:12Why don't you think about it?

0:19:14 > 0:19:18- Jimmi!- Um, yeah, he's spreading love and kindness thoughts to the rat.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21OK...

0:19:25 > 0:19:27Dr Clay.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30- Meditation?! - I thought it was worth a go.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Has it worked before?- Of course.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34- Whenever I'm stressed, I always find...- No, no.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37With getting rid of rats.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39There's always a first time.

0:19:39 > 0:19:44Right. Um, so, how come you could fit us in at short notice?

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- I'm always happy to help another believer.- Right.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51And how much business do you actually get?

0:19:54 > 0:19:55OK, it's been quiet.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Not everyone understands the importance of following my

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Buddhist principles. That's why I'm pulling out all the stops here.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- One good reference and the work should fly in.- Right, well,

0:20:04 > 0:20:07you catch the rat and I'll give you your reference.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Have a lovely holiday. I want to hear all about it when you get back.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19- OK.- See you. Bye.- See you. MOBILE RINGS

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Tommo? Have you seen him?

0:20:25 > 0:20:28OK. Well, if he's not crashing at yours, then...

0:20:30 > 0:20:32Have you got their numbers?

0:20:34 > 0:20:37Radiation hardly touches them. A half-mile swim? No problem.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- And then, of course, there's Hector. - First French rat in space.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43People go on about Yuri Gagarin, Neil Armstrong,

0:20:43 > 0:20:46but they forget about the animal pioneers who led the way.

0:20:46 > 0:20:50- Yes, they do. Isn't your room cleared, though?- To the Rat King.

0:20:52 > 0:20:55I've only got two places left to search. The ceiling and your room.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Right, well, it must be in the ceiling cos I'd know if I was

0:20:57 > 0:20:59sharing a room with a rodent, wouldn't I?

0:20:59 > 0:21:02- You all right, Ayesha? - I felt something biting my ankles.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05I thought it was Al mucking about with Ratty McSockface and

0:21:05 > 0:21:08- then it squeaked.- I'll put a humane trap in your room.- No.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12- But if it's still in there, it could get... - It's too late for kid gloves now.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14You can't mean what I think you mean.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18- Time for a conventional rat catcher. - What about the First Precept?

0:21:18 > 0:21:20I thought you were meant to be a Buddhist.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22Have you seen the time?! It's 20 to five!

0:21:22 > 0:21:25You haven't even spotted the rat yet!

0:21:26 > 0:21:30I'll give you some numbers for companies who will do what you ask.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33DRILLING AND BANGING

0:21:39 > 0:21:42I was just about to go to the police station and give them

0:21:42 > 0:21:45a piece of my mind! I've spared them that, at least.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48- So, is it over? - They didn't arrest me.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50So, why did they keep you so long?

0:21:50 > 0:21:53They're experts at asking the same questions ten different ways.

0:21:53 > 0:21:58- I'm starving. Biryani or chow mein? - These robberies...

0:21:58 > 0:22:01- I'm tempted by the crispy duck. - Was there violence involved?

0:22:01 > 0:22:05No idea. Come on. Just forget about it. I have.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09- No. No, I cannot forget about it! - Winifred!

0:22:09 > 0:22:12I really don't want to talk about it. Can you just leave it alone?

0:22:16 > 0:22:21- DRILLING AND BANGING - No, no. Friday's no good. It has to be tomorrow.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27OK. OK, WELL, THANKS...

0:22:27 > 0:22:29- DRILLING STOPS - Thanks anyway.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36RUSTLING

0:22:52 > 0:22:53- Hey! - SQUEAKING

0:22:58 > 0:23:00MORE SQUEAKING

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- DRILLING - Some help?

0:23:08 > 0:23:09Guys?

0:23:14 > 0:23:16SQUEAKING AND DRILLING CONTINUE

0:23:18 > 0:23:19Guys?

0:23:19 > 0:23:21Jalfrezi smells good.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23- Do you want to share my naan? - Er, no.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25No, I am not that hungry.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27More for me.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31So, why would the police think this had anything to do with you?

0:23:31 > 0:23:34- More rice?- Er, no. No. They must have their reasons.

0:23:34 > 0:23:39They're fishing. Trying to make it look like they're doing something.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42Who are you going to believe? Me or some jobsworth coppers?

0:23:42 > 0:23:46- Well, you, of course. - So, can we just drop this now?

0:23:46 > 0:23:50We've had a great holiday. Don't let them ruin it, eh?

0:23:50 > 0:23:53- If I just know what this was all about...- OK.

0:23:53 > 0:23:57Can I just finish my curry first? Please?

0:24:04 > 0:24:06I hear what you're saying.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09Ayesha is certainly striking, but up to now,

0:24:09 > 0:24:13she has tended to date within her own species.

0:24:13 > 0:24:17Sorry. I could put a word in if you like.

0:24:17 > 0:24:18Oh, you'd like that?

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Help!

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Help!

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Help!

0:24:29 > 0:24:30Help!

0:24:30 > 0:24:33DRILLING

0:24:33 > 0:24:37No, I've tried Tommo. That's how I got your number.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41Is there anywhere else he could be crashing?

0:24:43 > 0:24:45OK.

0:24:45 > 0:24:46Ta.

0:24:46 > 0:24:51So, what do you fancy for dinner? I was thinking ratatouille.

0:24:51 > 0:24:53With extra pest-o?

0:24:53 > 0:24:56- Followed by mice pudding? - OK, that's enough.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59People! Jimmi's room, code green.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Oh...

0:25:05 > 0:25:08Oh, is something wrong with your chair?

0:25:08 > 0:25:11- About time.- Is that the.. - SQUEAKING

0:25:11 > 0:25:15- If one of you changes places with me, I can grab a box or something. - You want me to sit on a rat?!

0:25:15 > 0:25:19- Are you mad?!- Two minutes.- This is karma for sacking poor Denny.

0:25:19 > 0:25:23You wanted the rat dead, Jimmi. Well, now's your chance.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26- Head lice is one thing. This is... - Jimmi.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29- I am not going to whack your rat for you.- Not after the last time!

0:25:29 > 0:25:33Mate... Oh! See, I knew you wouldn't leave me hanging.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Oh, dear me.

0:25:35 > 0:25:39Look, keep him prisoner, or execute him. The choice is yours.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41- Just get on with it. - No, Al, just wait!

0:25:47 > 0:25:49SQUEAK Oh!

0:25:52 > 0:25:55There's a gang that have been targeting cash machines.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Yes, I have seen on the TV.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01Yeah, they blow up the machines to get the money.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05How could they think that you'd be involved in something like that?

0:26:05 > 0:26:07I was a bad boy, Winifred. You know that.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10But that was different. You were never violent.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14- It was a long time ago.- I know. I've got a record.

0:26:14 > 0:26:15That's reason enough for them.

0:26:15 > 0:26:19And they are bothering you, instead of looking for the real criminals.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21I'm sorry you've been dragged into this.

0:26:21 > 0:26:25The last thing I wanted was for you to get involved.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28We are together. Of course I am involved.

0:26:30 > 0:26:31No.

0:26:31 > 0:26:35No, I can't put you through this. I'm going to get my things and go.

0:26:35 > 0:26:37- It's kinder that way. - Don't be ridiculous!

0:26:37 > 0:26:41The cops will never leave me alone. They'll be knocking at the doors at all hours.

0:26:41 > 0:26:45- We'll never have a minute's peace. - Then it is a good job you have me here to protect you.

0:26:45 > 0:26:48Do not worry. I can handle Sergeant Hollins.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52What a wonderful woman you are.

0:26:52 > 0:26:54Come here.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10- SHE RINGS BELL - What is all this noise?

0:27:10 > 0:27:13It's not a crime to breastfeed an older child.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15How old are we talking here? 12? 14?

0:27:15 > 0:27:18There's no way she's going to see that Neanderthal.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21- Dr Haskey's not a Neanderthal.- It's all right.- No, it's not all right.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24That woman is being bullied by other mums for breastfeeding and

0:27:24 > 0:27:28your biased bedside manner, that's just compounded the problem.

0:27:28 > 0:27:29Has anyone seen my bell?