A Tale of Two Kittys

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0:00:25 > 0:00:27CHILD SCREAMS

0:00:27 > 0:00:29SHE HYPERVENTILATES

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Daniel?!

0:00:36 > 0:00:38It's OK. It's OK.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Joe just had a bad dream.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42But he's all right now, aren't you?

0:00:42 > 0:00:46Right. Who wants breakfast?

0:00:50 > 0:00:53- Oh, good morning. How can I help? - I would like to make an appointment.

0:00:53 > 0:00:54Right.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Ah, well, Dr Reid has a drop-in but it might be a bit of a wait.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59It's that time of year, I'm afraid.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01So, if you'd like to call us up later,

0:01:01 > 0:01:03maybe things will have quietened down.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Oh... I can't really make calls at the moment.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Is it all right if I just sit and wait? I've got time.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Yeah, sure. Can I take a name?

0:01:10 > 0:01:12Er, Kitty Birch.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Well, it's Kate Birch really, but everyone calls me Kitty.

0:01:16 > 0:01:17Oh, right. Great.

0:01:19 > 0:01:20That's lovely, Kitty. Take a seat.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Thanks.

0:01:25 > 0:01:30- What are you watching? - It's...nothing.- Show me.

0:01:30 > 0:01:31Can I help you?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33Were you watching...?

0:01:33 > 0:01:36No! I'm at work, Eesh. Don't be daft.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45You were watching yourself?

0:01:45 > 0:01:49Only to check my online view count, that's all. Look, check it out.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53- Wow. That's more than I expected.- Mm.

0:01:53 > 0:01:56You didn't even have to do a Heston and drop your pants.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59- I know, right?- So what have you got planned for the follow-up?

0:01:59 > 0:02:02- The what?- You have got something lined up, right?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Before you lose your audience?

0:02:07 > 0:02:10KITTY'S STOMACH RUMBLES

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Oh, sorry.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16There's a shop round the corner if you'd like to grab a bite.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20- I'm OK.- Day off work? - Er, No. I...um...

0:02:20 > 0:02:24- I've actually just, er... - Hi. Kitty Cosgrove.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26I'm here to collect a repeat prescription.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29Okey doke. Could I just get a date of birth?

0:02:29 > 0:02:3114th of October...

0:02:31 > 0:02:32Kitty?

0:02:34 > 0:02:36- Kitty?- Hey.

0:02:36 > 0:02:41Oh! Oh, my gosh! How are you?

0:02:42 > 0:02:44So, which one's Kitty?

0:02:44 > 0:02:46We both are.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48- We were at school together.- Oh!

0:02:48 > 0:02:51Gosh, it's been years! How are you?

0:02:51 > 0:02:53I mean, are you all right?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55You're not in for anything serious, are you?

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Oh, no. I'm fine. Getting by. You?

0:02:58 > 0:03:04Oh, just a bit of backache, but I'm marvellous. Really well, thanks.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06So what have you been up to?

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Lost something?

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Er, no. Joe has. His little robot superhero thing.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18- Well, it's definitely here. You had it yesterday.- Yeah.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20PHONE RINGS

0:03:21 > 0:03:23There's no need to hang up.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26It's just my mum. I'll call her back.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29Hey. It's definitely here. Everything is in this suite

0:03:29 > 0:03:30somewhere so there's no need to rush.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Yeah, everything is in this suite. That's the problem.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35All three of us squashed in together.

0:03:38 > 0:03:39Sorry.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44His nightmare was about you.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46I just want him to feel safe again, that's all.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Please, just go and have a shower.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53And I will get dressed and make a proper go of finding it.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Do you like the sound of that, Joe?- OK.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58OK. You see? Sound advice.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Well, it's just a little boutique-y business, but we've been lucky

0:04:04 > 0:04:06enough to work on some really fabulous gardens.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Mostly Jeremy's friends, although we did get to do a little tidy-up

0:04:10 > 0:04:13at Greenbank Castle. It's a lovely job. Have you been?

0:04:13 > 0:04:14Er, no.

0:04:14 > 0:04:19Oh, it's a really lovely place. Gosh, listen to me, prattling on.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22What about you? What have you been up to?

0:04:22 > 0:04:26Uh... I, um... I'm between jobs at the moment. Yeah.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29Still trying to find my thing.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33And what happened with...Darren, was it?

0:04:33 > 0:04:37Oh! Yeah... No. That didn't last.

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Ah, well. You know, I always thought you could do better.

0:04:41 > 0:04:42Um. Sorry.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45Just to say, it does look like Dr Reid will be able

0:04:45 > 0:04:48to squeeze you in shortly, so don't go anywhere.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50I should press on. But we should hook up.

0:04:50 > 0:04:51What's your number?

0:04:51 > 0:04:55Er, I'm actually between phones at the moment, too.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58Oh. Well...

0:04:58 > 0:05:01..this is me.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04You know who to call if you ever want any landscaping done.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08- Thanks.- Oh, don't forget your prescription.- Oh!

0:05:13 > 0:05:16It's lovely to see you again. Bye.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Yeah. Bye.

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- That was a coincidence.- Yeah.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Were you two very close? - Used to be.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Ah-ha!

0:05:34 > 0:05:38Trapped in the cosmic cookie zone! Whoosh!

0:05:38 > 0:05:40- Thanks.- You want to go swimming now?

0:05:40 > 0:05:42You can take some of your toys if you want.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44No! I want to stay with Mummy.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Well, you should enjoy the pool while you still can.- No.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48I'm staying here.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Crisis averted at least.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Well, for how long?

0:05:54 > 0:05:57I won't be able to solve everything once I'm in court.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59I'll be going in with you.

0:05:59 > 0:06:03Since when? He can't be in there with us, Daniel.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05Of course. We'll get someone to look after him.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Who?- The family liaison officer.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10A total stranger?

0:06:10 > 0:06:13OK, how about Hayley? Or Karen?

0:06:13 > 0:06:17You know how difficult it is to book Hayley, even for an evening.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19And Karen's got Lily and the baby.

0:06:19 > 0:06:20OK, but if the worst comes to the worst

0:06:20 > 0:06:22I'm sure that they will look after him.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25For how long? You know how these things drag on.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30OK. Fine. I'll look after him.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34It'll be me, Joe and the super robot thing.

0:06:34 > 0:06:35Whatever you want.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Hey, Val. Do you know where the delivery box is?

0:06:41 > 0:06:43Ah. I wasn't sure so I unboxed some of it.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46It's on the big sort of square-ish shelf.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49- Actually, it's probably better if I show you.- Great.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11I don't know what to do, Eesh.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13About?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15The sequel. My vlog.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17What do YOU think I should do?

0:07:19 > 0:07:22- You want me to give you some more ideas?- Please.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25I don't really have any. It's not my vlog, is it?

0:07:25 > 0:07:27I was thinking maybe I could do some, you know,

0:07:27 > 0:07:29funny stories from when I was at med school.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31You know, act them out.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33One time I got stuck in a supply cupboard overnight and then

0:07:33 > 0:07:35I ended up eating a load of mints

0:07:35 > 0:07:38- cos that's all there was, then they gave me stomach cramps. - HE LAUGHS

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Or not.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42Or we could just use it to push a campaign.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44You know, like do more exercise or stay hydrated...

0:07:46 > 0:07:48We could find a challenge to go viral!

0:07:48 > 0:07:51You know, instead of the ice-bucket challenge, we could...

0:07:51 > 0:07:54stick a load of pants on or something.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56What do pants have to do with hydration?

0:07:56 > 0:08:00- Good point.- Maybe that was your 15 minutes.- No!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02You're a one-hit wonder, Sid.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Letherbridge's answer to Chesney Hawkes.

0:08:06 > 0:08:07That's it!

0:08:07 > 0:08:09What is?

0:08:09 > 0:08:12You've only gone and done it, haven't you, Eesh? Thank you!

0:08:12 > 0:08:13HE LAUGHS EXCITEDLY

0:08:13 > 0:08:17No. It's definitely not working. I'm going to go and ask for another.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21- Don't go!- Joe, darling. I'm just going downstairs.

0:08:21 > 0:08:25- I'll go.- No. I cannot stay in here all the time.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28Joe, I'm going to be fine. There are policemen everywhere.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Stay here!

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Do you want to come with me? Would that help?

0:08:35 > 0:08:36OK, come on.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42OK. What's your diet like?

0:08:42 > 0:08:46It's not great, if I'm honest. Jobseeker's only goes so far.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48I need that money for the bus,

0:08:48 > 0:08:51and I've got to get my phone fixed at the moment.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53But you really think that's all it is,

0:08:53 > 0:08:55that I'm just not eating well enough?

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Well, I can't say for sure.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59You know, your headaches, the dizziness, the cramps,

0:08:59 > 0:09:02it could be a result of any number of things.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05So I'd like to do some blood tests, if that's all right.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07- And then just get a clearer picture.- Right.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09What I can say, though, Kate,

0:09:09 > 0:09:12is that it's really important that you eat well.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Well, I do use the food banks.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16And I try and eat well and make it last.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19I just want to make sure that you're looking after yourself

0:09:19 > 0:09:20as best you can.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22I will. I know I will.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24I just need to find a job

0:09:24 > 0:09:26and then everything else will sort itself out.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30OK. Right, well, let's get those blood tests sorted out, shall we?

0:09:37 > 0:09:40So...I've had a little bit of an idea.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44- Well, it was actually Eesh's idea. - What idea?

0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Christmas song. - That is definitely not my idea.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48We can get everyone together

0:09:48 > 0:09:50and we can do, like, a novelty, one-hit wonder Christmas hit,

0:09:50 > 0:09:54- you know?- Er, for the record, never had an idea like this. At all.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55And we can do a video to go with it.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58You know, like Slade, or Wizzard, or Johnny Mathis?

0:09:58 > 0:10:00I really don't think this is a good idea.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04- This is a very busy time of year. - Yeah, but it's for a good cause.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05What, your ego?

0:10:05 > 0:10:08This is not about me, OK? It's for charity.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10And you can decide who the money goes to.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13Come on, it'll be some proper, old-fashioned Christmas goodwill,

0:10:13 > 0:10:14like Christmas Carol was.

0:10:14 > 0:10:19- Well, if you are sure it will raise...- 110%, Mrs Tembe.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22Right. Well, if you can get everybody on board,

0:10:22 > 0:10:26I have no real objections. But it cannot interfere with work!

0:10:26 > 0:10:28It won't. Thank you. Thank you, Mrs Tembe!

0:10:28 > 0:10:30It's going to be brilliant!

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Just to be clear. Nothing to do with me.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Is it OK if I just...? - Sorry, just a moment. Yeah. No.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39What it actually says on the invoice is white two-ply

0:10:39 > 0:10:43but what's been delivered is quilted with aloe vera

0:10:43 > 0:10:44in eggshell blue.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48Yeah, no, I just want to check we're not being charged extra.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Oh, that's lovely. Yeah.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Merry Christmas to you, too.

0:10:54 > 0:10:58- I'm sorry, can I just...? - I knew it. You thief!

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Right. Let's get that tea sorted.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08- Did you call Marion back? - It can wait.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13- I think you should call her.- What?

0:11:13 > 0:11:15All she'll do is work herself up into a state and send us

0:11:15 > 0:11:16some kind of food parcel.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22I think you should call her and you should ask if you and Joe

0:11:22 > 0:11:24could go and stay with her.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27You saw what kind of a mess he got into earlier

0:11:27 > 0:11:29when you tried to leave the room without him.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32What's he going to be like if you're not even in the same country?

0:11:32 > 0:11:34He's stronger than that.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36When we first took him to nursery he was in floods of tears,

0:11:36 > 0:11:39but then by the time we picked him up he was as happy as anything

0:11:39 > 0:11:42and telling us what a brilliant day he had.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44In Crete, I won't be there to remind him all the time.

0:11:44 > 0:11:48Hm. Or he won't be here to remind you, is that it?

0:11:48 > 0:11:50What's that supposed to mean?

0:11:50 > 0:11:54I just think YOU'RE the one who's not coping, not us.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58- Because you shouldn't be here. - He is having nightmares!

0:11:58 > 0:12:01He has them at home. He'll probably have them in Crete.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Why do I get the feeling you just won't listen to me on this?

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Right, I want to help. He wants to stay.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08We're stronger if we stick together.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Why are you pushing us away?

0:12:10 > 0:12:13It is not helping with you constantly jabbing at me, Daniel!

0:12:13 > 0:12:18- Stop shouting!- I am sorry. I am so sorry, darling.

0:12:20 > 0:12:21See?

0:12:22 > 0:12:26We cannot stay cooped up together any longer.

0:12:27 > 0:12:31This isn't an easy solution for me, Daniel.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34But you said that you would support me. And this is how.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Please.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41I didn't steal it, OK?

0:12:41 > 0:12:44Yeah. You said. You found it on the floor.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48Do I look like the sort of person who just throws their purse around?

0:12:48 > 0:12:50- I swear.- I'm supposed to believe that I dropped it

0:12:50 > 0:12:53then you found it and took it in to see the doctor?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56The desk was empty. I didn't want to just leave it.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59I mean, think about it. Why would I nick your purse?

0:12:59 > 0:13:01You know me. We used to be friends.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04And she's not exactly being very discreet about it.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07In fact, I think she was trying to give it back to me when you came in.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09I promise. I was trying to hand it in.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Well.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16Seeing as I've got it back and no-one actually saw anything,

0:13:16 > 0:13:18I suppose I can let it go.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20It's just a silly misunderstanding.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Except there was a £20 note in here this morning.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25And now it's gone.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30- Al. There you are. OK. How do you like the sound of...?- No.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32But I haven't even said what it is yet.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35And somehow I know it's going to be a waste of my time.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Fine. Emma, you'll be up for it, though, won't you?- I doubt it.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41You two don't even know what you're missing out on yet.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44- Come on, it's going to be great, honest.- Go on, then. Let's hear it.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47OK. This Christmas, we do a charity single, with a video!

0:13:47 > 0:13:49- No.- No.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52- But...- Waste of our time. - Not on your life.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56How about if I put you down as a maybe, then, yeah?

0:13:58 > 0:13:59You saw how I was living

0:13:59 > 0:14:01and you thought you'd snatch a bit for yourself.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Is this about the nail salon? Is that it?

0:14:04 > 0:14:06We made that promise when we were 11 years old, Kitty.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09- It was never going to happen. - Well, you're the one bringing it up.

0:14:09 > 0:14:10I never even think about this stuff.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13I've got too much else to worry about, thanks.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Exactly. Look at you. Of course you'd steal my money.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18I really think this should stop now.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20I took that cash out this morning. I know what I had.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23If it makes it any easier, I can just call the police.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Look, I don't know what's going on here

0:14:25 > 0:14:29- but I'm going to have to ask both of you to take this outside...- No!

0:14:32 > 0:14:35Fine. OK. Fine, fine. I'll do it but I want to stand at the back.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Don't put me in the centre, or at the front or anything.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40- Cos that Christmas carol, that was hard enough.- Deal.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43How are you going to stand at the back when there's only two of you?

0:14:43 > 0:14:46- What?- What? You're doing it, aren't you?

0:14:46 > 0:14:48I've not said anything. You might have assumed, but...

0:14:48 > 0:14:51No, no. Eesh, Eesh. I need you. Come on.

0:14:53 > 0:14:57- I want a full banquet at the Golden Temple. And drinks.- Deal.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00- I'm only miming, though. - What? That's no good, is it?

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I'm not singing. Not ever. Not since Mr Castle told me

0:15:02 > 0:15:05- I sounded like a dog stuck in a traffic cone.- OK, who's Mr Castle?

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- My music teacher. - How long ago was that, then?

0:15:08 > 0:15:10About 20 years ago but it makes no difference.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13- They're my terms. Deal with it. - I want prawn crackers.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16Fine. OK, OK. Fine. Right, so that's you two.

0:15:16 > 0:15:20Valerie's going to be an easy yeah. So that's four of us already. Sweet!

0:15:21 > 0:15:23OK, please, can we just calm down?

0:15:23 > 0:15:25I want my money back, or I'm calling the police.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28Don't call the police. Please, Kitty. We're mates.

0:15:28 > 0:15:32- Suit yourself.- Look, I think you're taking this a little far.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35- Listen...- If no-one else is going to take this seriously...

0:15:35 > 0:15:37Stop, I really think that you should just...

0:15:37 > 0:15:40- It was me.- What?- What?!

0:15:41 > 0:15:42I took the money.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Come on.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47I'm basically telling you to take a holiday and you're refusing.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50Why would I want to be away from you at a time like this?

0:15:50 > 0:15:53We shouldn't be clinging to each other at a moment like this,

0:15:53 > 0:15:56we should be taking action.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58By sending us away?

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Please. For me.

0:16:02 > 0:16:06I need you thousands of miles away and safe.

0:16:06 > 0:16:11I'll have a clearer head, and you and Joe can get a normal life back.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Daniel?

0:16:15 > 0:16:19It goes against all my instincts. You know, we should be together.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22I know.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27OK.

0:16:27 > 0:16:28OK.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Well, you see, the money wasn't actually with the purse.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40I didn't even notice the purse

0:16:40 > 0:16:42cos it's the same colour as the carpet.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45So to me it was just money on the floor,

0:16:45 > 0:16:47and who doesn't like free money?

0:16:47 > 0:16:50- Technically it's lost property. - Technically it's my property.

0:16:50 > 0:16:54Well, it was only going towards the surgery Christmas party.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Well. It's now going to go back into my purse.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59I think perhaps you owe your friend an apology.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Oh, it's OK. Let's just forget about it.

0:17:02 > 0:17:03Good idea.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07Now, if I can just get my repeat prescription, I'll be out of here.

0:17:07 > 0:17:08Sorry?

0:17:08 > 0:17:11- I came in for a repeat prescription. - I gave that to you already.

0:17:13 > 0:17:14Is this a joke?

0:17:14 > 0:17:18- Valerie?- I swear on Geoffrey's life. It's in your bag.

0:17:28 > 0:17:32Listen, it's going to be warmer and you'll get to play outside.

0:17:32 > 0:17:33And Grandma's cooking is brilliant.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36So much better than anything you can get here.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41Listen to me. I've got a secret, right?

0:17:42 > 0:17:45I've got something really important that I need you to do for me.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48Don't tell Daddy.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51Daddy needs to be looked after.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54I need someone to look after him for me

0:17:54 > 0:17:57to make sure he's OK. Because I'm not going to be there.

0:17:57 > 0:18:02So you need to help me, Joe. It's really important.

0:18:02 > 0:18:08I need you to put on a big brave smile,

0:18:08 > 0:18:10and then Daddy will be able to feel big and brave, too.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15- Can you do that for me?- Yes.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19My big, brave boy. I love you.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28Yes. Actually, I remember, I was in the chemist

0:18:28 > 0:18:30when I realised I didn't have my purse.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33And you did nearly forget your prescription.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36You know, when you were handing over your business card.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38That must have been when you dropped it.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41But I still remembered I had the £20.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44Ah, I've got a little confession to make.

0:18:44 > 0:18:45Oh, what now?

0:18:47 > 0:18:50- I didn't actually find the 20 on the floor.- What?

0:18:50 > 0:18:54No. That 20 that I just gave you back. That's actually mine.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Then why did you say you stole it?

0:18:58 > 0:19:01I don't know. Because you kept accusing Kate of stealing it

0:19:01 > 0:19:03and I just wanted it to stop.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06So you're saying I forgot I spent £20?

0:19:09 > 0:19:14Look, can I ask, have you been having memory problems generally?

0:19:15 > 0:19:18Well, I don't know, I... I'm not ill, am I?

0:19:18 > 0:19:20No, no. Not necessarily.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23It may just be a side effect from the painkillers you're on.

0:19:23 > 0:19:27But we could change the prescription and see if that helps.

0:19:28 > 0:19:32I don't know what to say. I mean, I am so...so sorry.

0:19:33 > 0:19:37Why don't you come back with me and we'll have a chat about it?

0:19:37 > 0:19:39I think I need some fresh air.

0:19:42 > 0:19:43Oh, Valerie. Just a quick one.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45You'd be up for helping with the Christmas charity single,

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- wouldn't you?- Oh. No, no, no. No, no, I don't think so.

0:19:48 > 0:19:52- What? Why?- Well, you know, I have had my brush with stardom.

0:19:52 > 0:19:56I used to be in a singing duo called Dark 'N' Stormy. I was Stormy.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00- But...- But I just think that novelty songs are just...

0:20:00 > 0:20:05- What?- ..just a bit tragic. And I'm better than that. Sorry.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Listen, I am so sorry I made such a mess of things in there.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17It's just she was being

0:20:17 > 0:20:21so rude to you, waving her accusations all over the place.

0:20:21 > 0:20:26- I just wanted it to stop. I hope I didn't cause offence.- It's OK.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28She's such a bully. And judgmental.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31I mean, theft is no small thing.

0:20:32 > 0:20:36I once got accused of shoplifting, at Woolies, but it was only

0:20:36 > 0:20:40cos I had a funny walk because I'd had a ride on a seaside donkey.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43They thought I'd slipped a seven-inch under my skirt.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45A record.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Oh, right. Well, we all make mistakes.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51I don't want to talk about it.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Kitty, I was an idiot.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58I'm the worst.

0:20:58 > 0:20:59I was really raging at you.

0:21:01 > 0:21:06If it's any excuse, this backache has turned me into a real pig,

0:21:06 > 0:21:08painkillers or not.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Hopefully these new drugs will sort me out.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14I hope so. Just forget about it.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16No, I really want to say sorry.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Now, you say you're in between jobs at the moment.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23Well, we're taking on new gardeners.

0:21:24 > 0:21:27If you want an interview, why don't you come and see me tomorrow

0:21:27 > 0:21:29and we can set something up?

0:21:29 > 0:21:31- I gave you my card, didn't I? - Er, yeah. But...

0:21:31 > 0:21:35Well, then come to that address. We'll sort it out.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38- That's really nice of you.- I can't.

0:21:38 > 0:21:42Well, if tomorrow's no good then we'll do something else.

0:21:42 > 0:21:43I can't accept it.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46You were right.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48I did take your money.

0:21:48 > 0:21:49Sorry, what?

0:21:51 > 0:21:53OK. That's us.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56As soon as this is over, the very minute I can get out of here

0:21:56 > 0:21:58- we'll be back together. - I can't wait.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Don't get fat out there. You know what your mother's like.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04I can't promise anything. And look, I'm sorry, OK?

0:22:04 > 0:22:07I'm... I was wrong. You're right to do this.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10I shouldn't have tried to talk you out of it.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12Oh.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18- OK. Come here.- The three of us.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25I didn't think you'd miss it.

0:22:25 > 0:22:28Just to look at you, I could tell that £20 would go

0:22:28 > 0:22:30so much further for me than it would for you.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34It would mean I could get my phone fixed,

0:22:34 > 0:22:36then I could start getting job interviews again.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38I've been out of work for nearly a year now

0:22:38 > 0:22:40and I just need a break. Just one break.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43- I don't ever steal, ever... - You did today.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Yeah, but I just kept telling myself that I didn't steal it,

0:22:47 > 0:22:49that I just found it. And that..

0:22:49 > 0:22:51You let this woman come to your defence.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56Yeah, but I didn't know she was just going to jump in like that.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00Everybody was talking over me. You did it just now. Everybody does it.

0:23:00 > 0:23:01Sorry.

0:23:01 > 0:23:05Well, listen...

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Kitty, for old time's sake, I'm not going to involve the police,

0:23:07 > 0:23:11but you must understand...

0:23:13 > 0:23:16..I can't possibly offer you a job after this dishonesty.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23- Hopefully you'll learn something from this.- Oh, really.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26And you should count yourself lucky I'm not making a complaint.

0:23:29 > 0:23:30Goodbye, Kitty.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53How are you feeling?

0:23:53 > 0:23:56Like an idiot. I should have spoken up

0:23:56 > 0:23:58as soon as it all kicked off.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00But I couldn't stand up for myself.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04I'm sorry. I've got a big mouth at the best of times.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07Yeah, well, not any more.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10I'm not going to be told to stand in line, or be put on hold,

0:24:10 > 0:24:13or wait over there. Not without having my say first.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16Good for you. Get some of that fight back.

0:24:17 > 0:24:22But in the meantime, here's a little something to help you along.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25No. I can't. I don't deserve it.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28Look, if I hadn't have jumped in you would have told her.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30It's my fault this is all such a mess.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33It's my fault. I stole from her.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37Yeah, and I don't think you'll do anything like that ever again.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41But £20 or not, she should not have spoken to you like that.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42She was horrible.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44I don't think she could have been a very good friend.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49She was always Kitty. I was just the other Kitty.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52So take it. One in the eye for rubbish Kitty.

0:24:54 > 0:24:55I can't.

0:24:55 > 0:24:59Go on, it's Christmas. Use it to fix your phone.

0:25:01 > 0:25:06As soon as I've got some money I'll come back and repay you, I promise.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08I will get work. I mean it.

0:25:08 > 0:25:12I'm sure you will. And listen, this isn't just a hand-out.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14It's... it's a second chance.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18- Thank you.- Good luck.

0:25:21 > 0:25:26I have heard some absurd nonsense today.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29But you, rewarding that woman's criminal behaviour?

0:25:29 > 0:25:31Valerie, you take the biscuit.

0:25:31 > 0:25:34"Tis a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done.

0:25:34 > 0:25:38"It is a far, far better rest I go to, than I have ever known."

0:25:38 > 0:25:41All right, Charles Dickens. So what happened to the other 20 quid?

0:25:41 > 0:25:43- What?- The one that you pretended to steal.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46The one that the posh woman took home with her?

0:25:48 > 0:25:49Oh...

0:25:50 > 0:25:55Maybe just do a duet. Rocking Around The Christmas Tree?

0:25:55 > 0:25:56I give up.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59I'm in.

0:26:00 > 0:26:04- You are?- Yeah, but none of this novelty karaoke stuff.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Sidney, hold on to your lugholes.

0:26:06 > 0:26:09I am going to write you the biggest,

0:26:09 > 0:26:13the bestest Christmas number one you have ever heard.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21SHE SOBS

0:26:32 > 0:26:34SOBBING: Joe...

0:26:42 > 0:26:43Where are you going?

0:26:43 > 0:26:46No, it's all right. I'm not going anywhere. I just...

0:26:46 > 0:26:49PHONE RINGS I won't leave the grounds, I just wanted some air.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52- I've just got to take this call. - All right.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24Goldilocks. Wake up!

0:27:26 > 0:27:27Don't hurt me.

0:27:27 > 0:27:30- What?- I want to talk to you about Jesus.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32No, thank you. I'm a Jedi.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35- Oh, come on!- Mine is broken.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37And I'm going to bring it back.

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Wake up, stupid!

0:27:41 > 0:27:44- THUD - Oh, for goodness...