Fairy Tales

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0:00:29 > 0:00:32Help! Help! Stop! Stop!

0:00:32 > 0:00:34Help! Help!

0:00:34 > 0:00:35Are you OK?

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Are you OK?

0:00:37 > 0:00:39Oh, God. Oh, God.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Right. It's OK... Are you OK?

0:00:41 > 0:00:43SHE PANTS

0:00:43 > 0:00:44All right...

0:00:45 > 0:00:46Jeez.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48All right. Just calm down.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51SHE GASPS

0:01:01 > 0:01:04PHONE RINGS

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Hi. Everything OK?

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Yes, fine.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12How are you?

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Zara?

0:01:18 > 0:01:20I, yeah. Er...hello.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26Has something happened? Do you want me to come back?

0:01:26 > 0:01:29No, erm... Everything's fine.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32I just... I was just checking in.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37It's going to be over soon, darling.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39I know.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Have a good flight.

0:01:42 > 0:01:43Give Joe a kiss from me.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47I will. I will. Listen, good luck tomorrow.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Love you.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Love you too. Bye.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01PHONE RINGS

0:02:03 > 0:02:07Why are you calling me? You're, like, three metres away from me.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09No, ma'am, you are mistaken.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12You remember how yesterday I worked so late?

0:02:12 > 0:02:16Well, the new rules say I get this afternoon off.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Huh, all right for some.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Oh, I am more than happy to gloat about it,

0:02:20 > 0:02:22if you've got the time to listen.

0:02:22 > 0:02:23Well, I think I'm going

0:02:23 > 0:02:26to spend pretty much all the afternoon on my sofa.

0:02:26 > 0:02:31I'm going to eat my dinner there and watch really loud movies.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33But...I need to ask a favour of you.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Go on.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38- Porridge? - What?

0:02:41 > 0:02:49Porridge. Someone...has been eating...my...

0:02:49 > 0:02:51It's all over the floor.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Maybe skip the DVD and do some cleaning up, yeah?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Ayesha, I think someone's been here.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Seriously?

0:02:57 > 0:03:02Oh, great. The kitchen window is wide open.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Is anything missing?

0:03:04 > 0:03:07It's kind of difficult to say. I haven't tidied for a while.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Erm...

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Well, the TV's here. That's a good sign.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15- Well, there you go. - Maybe I left the window open myself.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17OK, then, I'm going to go. Bye, Al.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19No, no, wait, I haven't asked you the favour yet...

0:03:19 > 0:03:21PHONE GOES DEAD

0:03:48 > 0:03:50SNORING

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Sorry, Zara, I was on another call.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00The gang found me. They know where I am.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03I know, that's what the call was about. Don't panic.

0:04:03 > 0:04:04I know, I know.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07- How long will you be? Tom? Tom? - I'm coming to get you.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09DOOR KNOCKS

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Sorry, I lost you in the lift.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Listen, this should never have happened. But it's going to be OK.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24- Suitcase?- Yes.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Right, it's just scare tactics, that's all it is.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Because you go to court on Monday. But it's going to be fine.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33- How can you say that? How did they even know where I was? - We're looking into it.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35But I'm here now, and I'm taking you to another hotel.

0:04:35 > 0:04:36OK.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39This one's going to be perfect. Trust me.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50Wake up.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Oi! Wake up!

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Not yet, Mum. Five more minutes.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Goldilocks, wake up!

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Don't hurt me!

0:05:02 > 0:05:05What are you doing in my house?!

0:05:05 > 0:05:07This is my house. You are in my bed!

0:05:07 > 0:05:09What?

0:05:09 > 0:05:13I said, this is my house and you are in my bed.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15Who are you?

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Fine. I'll ask the police who you are.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Don't. It's not like I've even taken anything yet.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25What do you mean, "yet"?

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Sorry. I'm nervous. Please, just let me go.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Hey, you like Superman.

0:05:31 > 0:05:32I like Superman.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Everybody likes Superman.

0:05:37 > 0:05:38Look, you can't keep me here.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40What's to stop me from leaving, anyway?

0:05:40 > 0:05:43AL PANTS

0:05:44 > 0:05:47Right. This is very stressful. Could I have a glass of water?

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Oh, course. Where are my manners?

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Do you want me to cook you dinner? Run you a bath?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Actually - wait, you're not serious, are you?

0:05:56 > 0:05:58What's with that porridge?

0:05:58 > 0:06:01Is that like your trademark - you're the, the Goldilocks burglar?

0:06:01 > 0:06:04- Do you think that's funny? - I was hungry.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06- You didn't eat it. - Well, the first one had fruit in it.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08And the next one was too hot.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11So I just sat down for a moment, because I was feeling light-headed.

0:06:11 > 0:06:12And the next thing I know...

0:06:12 > 0:06:15Shut up! You are the worst burglar ever.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18- That's harsh. - It's true, though, isn't it?

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Don't, please. I haven't been doing this long.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Oh, you don't say. - I've been going through a bad time.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27I was at college, I had to drop out.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30I've got my student loan to pay off. I can't get a job.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Well, you can give your sob story to the police when they get here.

0:06:32 > 0:06:33BELL RINGS

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Oh, please just let me go. I'll pay for the porridge.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Are you alone? Are you here with someone?

0:06:40 > 0:06:42No, it's just me.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47- What? - I want to talk to you about Jesus.

0:06:47 > 0:06:48No, thank you, I'm a Jedi.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50What? Really?!

0:06:53 > 0:06:54Is 38p enough?

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Hey, Eesh. Sorry, I won't be long.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04It's fine.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06What is it that music teacher said about your singing?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Did he say that you sounded like... a dog in a blender?

0:07:09 > 0:07:11A dog in a traffic cone.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Yeah. He made me mime and stand at the back.

0:07:13 > 0:07:14Yeah, that's awful, isn't it?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16Well, my singing was worse. Apparently.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Yeah, I just hate that sort of attitude.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21Because teachers, they're there to encourage you, aren't they?

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Everyone can sing.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26It's all right for you. You had a solo in A Christmas Carol.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28My music teacher used to make me sing soprano.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31And then tell me off because I couldn't hit those high notes.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Realised I was an alto. Ha!

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Yeah. You should, er, just give it a go.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37What's the worst that's going to happen?

0:07:37 > 0:07:39People might hear me?

0:07:39 > 0:07:42That's a lot of breast pads. What's the occasion?

0:07:42 > 0:07:45I just like to, you know, pop a few extras in, just in case.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48- Well, that should do it. - Yeah.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep going.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55All right, if I let you go,

0:07:55 > 0:07:58how do I know you're not just going to go and rob someone else, huh?

0:07:58 > 0:07:59I promise, I won't.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01PHONE RINGS

0:08:01 > 0:08:03- Is that the police? - Yeah, yeah.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06The police ring me every afternoon, to make sure I'm not being robbed.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Hello?

0:08:08 > 0:08:10Hey. What was the favour? You forgot to say.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Oh, yeah. Can you turn my computer off for me, please?

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Is that it? Oh, did you clean your house?

0:08:16 > 0:08:17No. Funnily enough, I didn't.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20You see, there's an intruder in my house.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22What? No way.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26Oh, yes way. Better still, he was asleep on my bed.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29Creepy. Where is he now?

0:08:29 > 0:08:30Oh, he's still here.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33He's still there? Al, do you want me to call the police?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Nah. He's, he's a pathetically scrawny specimen.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37Hey.

0:08:37 > 0:08:41What kind of idiot falls asleep when robbing a house?

0:08:41 > 0:08:42HE LAUGHS

0:08:42 > 0:08:44She asked, what kind of an idiot falls asleep

0:08:44 > 0:08:46when he's robbing a house?

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Yeah, tell me about it. What's the opposite of a criminal mastermind?

0:08:49 > 0:08:52- That's just rude. - What are you going to do with him?

0:08:52 > 0:08:55I don't know. I'm, I'm considering letting him go.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58Are you sure?

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Mmm. You can't see him. There's no way he'd survive in prison.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05OK, well, look I've got to go. Erm, just be careful, yeah?

0:09:05 > 0:09:07This isn't the first criminal I've dealt with.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09PHONE GOES DEAD

0:09:09 > 0:09:10And she's gone.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15So are you are going to let me go, then?

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Am I going to let you go...?

0:09:19 > 0:09:21Yeah, I've got things to be getting on with.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Get out. - Thank you. Thank you so much.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24Take your coat with you.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26THUD

0:09:35 > 0:09:37What's up? You don't like it?

0:09:39 > 0:09:40No, it's fine.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44I was just thinking about how the gang could have found me.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47Well, like I said, we're looking into that.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50So it could be someone in the police.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Or it could be staff at the hotel.

0:09:52 > 0:09:53You don't have to worry about that.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56I'm the only one who knows where you are.

0:09:56 > 0:10:00Right. So, why did we come here such a strange route?

0:10:00 > 0:10:01Strange?

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Well, yes. You said you knew where we were going, but we were driving

0:10:04 > 0:10:07all over the place, like you were just making it up as you went along.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09You think I'm the leak?

0:10:10 > 0:10:12I don't know what to think.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Because, if I was, you wouldn't have made it here.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17No.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19I could have driven you into a lay-by or an industrial estate

0:10:19 > 0:10:22- and that would be that. - Yes.

0:10:22 > 0:10:23And if you don't trust someone,

0:10:23 > 0:10:27you probably shouldn't be getting into a car with them.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Relax. I was just making sure we weren't being followed.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Of course.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37Page one of the witness protection manual. Drive in a wiggly line.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41I'm sorry. I just don't understand how any of this has happened.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44It's fine. If I were you, I probably wouldn't trust me either.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47Right, let's get you checked in and then I think

0:10:47 > 0:10:48we could both do with a drink.

0:10:51 > 0:10:52You were about to let me go.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55That's when I thought that you were just a harmless idiot.

0:10:55 > 0:10:56I am. I really am.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59You broke into my house armed.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Not really. It does all sorts - there's a corkscrew, a screwdriver...

0:11:04 > 0:11:06I don't want to be stabbed by either of those.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09If I wanted to stab you, there are much better knives in the kitchen.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11What are you doing looking though my knives?

0:11:11 > 0:11:15Scissors. I wanted scissors. For the porridge.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17No, no, no, no. You rip those packets open.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20- I didn't know. - Then read the instructions!

0:11:20 > 0:11:22I was stressed!

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Can I have my knife back now, please?

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- No. No, you can't. - My dad gave it to me.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31When I was in the Scouts. He's dead, OK.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35I promise - I wasn't going to hurt anyone.

0:11:35 > 0:11:36Well, you might think that.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39But just the fact that you're carrying one of those things around

0:11:39 > 0:11:41increases the chances that bad things might happen.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42What if I'd have attacked you?

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Would you have not defended yourself?

0:11:45 > 0:11:48- No.- Really? If I'd have come at you with a baseball bat,

0:11:48 > 0:11:52or...or with a gun that I keep under my bed?

0:11:52 > 0:11:53You've got a gun?!

0:11:53 > 0:11:56No, but I'm asking, you know, what if...?

0:11:56 > 0:11:58- Oh.- You know what, I am calling the police.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01I don't know why I didn't do this in the first place.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03Ridiculous way to spend my afternoon...

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Really?!

0:12:09 > 0:12:10Pinot grigio.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13Close enough.

0:12:16 > 0:12:21Actually, it's perfect. You're not having one?

0:12:21 > 0:12:24Still on duty. At least until backup arrive.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26And don't worry. They are officers I've worked with before.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28We'll get you to court in one piece.

0:12:28 > 0:12:32- Good to know. - Have you spoken to Daniel?

0:12:32 > 0:12:34I didn't tell him what happened.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36They're in the right place.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38I know.

0:12:38 > 0:12:39You're lucky to have them.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43I think you would have preferred a witness with less baggage.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45Well, it's easier to protect just one of you.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48But Daniel and Joe are what make you such a great witness.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51I don't think you'd have a witness if not for Daniel and Joe.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53They make me the sort of person who would speak up.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56I thought it would be pretty tough to keep you quiet.

0:12:56 > 0:13:01Ha-ha. Before I met Daniel, I was quite a different person.

0:13:01 > 0:13:02Way more selfish.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Well, we can all be selfish.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07I'm having chips and you're not having any.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09SHE CHUCKLES

0:13:09 > 0:13:11I would have weighed up the pros and cons.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14And I would have decided that speaking to the police would

0:13:14 > 0:13:16have caused way too much disruption to my life.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18And you'd be right.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22I like the sound of this other you.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23Shame I never met her.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Wake up. Come on.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Wakey, wakey.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Oh, Mum, stop it.

0:13:39 > 0:13:40WAKE UP, BOY!

0:13:41 > 0:13:44Do you, by any chance, still live with your mum?

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Maybe. No.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49How long have you been falling asleep like this?

0:13:49 > 0:13:50I wasn't asleep.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53What?! You literally just fell asleep in front of me.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54And that's very rude because,

0:13:54 > 0:13:56I'll have you know, I'm an interesting man.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59- I must have been tired. - How many hours do you sleep a night?

0:13:59 > 0:14:01The usual.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03How many units of alcohol do you drink a week?

0:14:03 > 0:14:06I don't know. Why are you asking me all these questions?

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Because I think there is something seriously wrong with you.

0:14:08 > 0:14:09Stop insulting me.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12I meant medically. I mean, as well as the other thing.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Would you say you have a normal sleeping pattern?

0:14:17 > 0:14:19I was a student. Students sleep a lot, don't they?

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Right, define "a lot".

0:14:21 > 0:14:24- Do you sleep in the middle of the day?- I'm unemployed.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26There's not much point in having early nights

0:14:26 > 0:14:27when I don't HAVE to go to work.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Hey, cool your jets. I'm trying to help you.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33Well, don't. What makes you such an expert, anyway?

0:14:33 > 0:14:36I'm a doctor. At The Mill Health Centre.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38No way. I'm registered there!

0:14:41 > 0:14:43Could you pretend I didn't say that?

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Hey.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Er, hey.

0:14:53 > 0:14:56So, anyway, I found your stash in the cupboard.

0:14:56 > 0:14:57That's quite the haul.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01You're not selling NHS supplies on the black market, are you?

0:15:01 > 0:15:03No, of course I'm not.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05All right, I was only... I was only joking.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Yeah, because I wouldn't do something like that.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09OK, but it is a bit weird.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12I mean, that's generally more stuff than we need for a visit.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Yeah, because my needs are different to yours.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18What I use on my visits is different. OK?

0:15:18 > 0:15:21Right. Sorry. My bad.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24I just want to go now, OK. I'm fine.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26So, go.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30You're going to call the police, aren't you?

0:15:30 > 0:15:31No, I won't.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33So long as you promise to go to The Mill

0:15:33 > 0:15:35and make an appointment with a doctor.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37Another doctor. I won't call the police.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39- What? - You heard me.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41That's blackmail. That's not allowed.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43- BELL RINGS - Hold that thought.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47Actually, bring that thought with you.

0:15:50 > 0:15:51What?

0:15:51 > 0:15:53I don't want to talk to you about Jesus.

0:15:53 > 0:15:54That's a better opening.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57I'm looking for my mate. He might have come in here.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59- Came into my house? - Yeah.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02- All right, what's your name? - Don't tell him, Lenny.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08OK, I take it that neither of you are big Dad's Army fans?

0:16:08 > 0:16:09Sorry, Lenny.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Stop saying it!

0:16:11 > 0:16:13So, Lenny. How long have you been a burglar?

0:16:13 > 0:16:15I'm not, I'm just giving my mate a lift.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18All right, so, you're the getaway driver.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21No. You're making it sound bad. Will he be long?

0:16:21 > 0:16:23I don't know. I'll just ask him, shall I?

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Are you going to... Actually, you know what. It depends.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28It depends how long the police take to get here.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31- So, do you want to come in and wait for the police?- No, thank you.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Yeah, just what I thought. Run along now.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37What?

0:16:37 > 0:16:39I've only got a provisional licence.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41I can't drive on my own, it's not legal.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46You're a getaway driver who doesn't want to break the law?

0:16:48 > 0:16:49Right.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Where have you gone to now?

0:16:57 > 0:17:00- Backup have arrived, then. - I'm off the clock.

0:17:00 > 0:17:01HE CLEARS THROAT

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Is it that couple over there?

0:17:05 > 0:17:08- How did you guess? - Just look at them.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13The way they're dressed... They're just not a convincing couple.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15You've got a good eye.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18I have seen a lot of police officers these last few weeks.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20Hmm.

0:17:20 > 0:17:22My ex used to complain I never took her to places like this,

0:17:22 > 0:17:24unless we were working.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27- She was police too? - Yep.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29I would have thought that would have been easier.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32Well, is it easier you and Daniel both being doctors?

0:17:32 > 0:17:35It's double trouble. We just never made space for each other.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37Well, that sounds like it was nobody's fault.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40No, no, no. It was definitely my fault. Ask anyone.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41I'm bad at relationships.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43I've even got that printed on a T-shirt.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Which I never wear, because I'm always at work.

0:17:45 > 0:17:46I get it.

0:17:46 > 0:17:50Disastrous at relationships, but you always get your man.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Or gang, in this case.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Hmm. Kids are dying. It's life and death.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58Nothing matters more than that. Do you know what I mean?

0:17:58 > 0:18:02It's like treating symptoms before they turn into something worse.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Kids are throwing their lives away. It's crazy.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08It is.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11You know, I read somewhere...

0:18:11 > 0:18:13You read?

0:18:13 > 0:18:14I know, shocker.

0:18:14 > 0:18:18Erm, I read somewhere that the part of the brain that understands

0:18:18 > 0:18:21consequence is the last part to develop.

0:18:21 > 0:18:22It's true.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25That part of the brain keeps developing into early adulthood.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Which is like some kind of cosmic joke.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30It's like, how do any of us survive past adolescence?

0:18:30 > 0:18:33So these kids go into life not knowing what can happen,

0:18:33 > 0:18:35and you know, what they can lose.

0:18:36 > 0:18:40Biology is against us. That's why these cases are so tough.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Indeed.

0:18:43 > 0:18:44So what's the answer?

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Stop reading.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50HE LAUGHS

0:18:50 > 0:18:51Yeah!

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Sorry, I was just looking.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57I want to keep it pristine. Because pristine is priceless.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Even without that, it's still a great comic book but...

0:19:00 > 0:19:03More importantly, stop touching my things!

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Soz.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Soz?

0:19:07 > 0:19:10You think this is funny? What is wrong with you, man?

0:19:12 > 0:19:16You know, you should go to prison for breaking into my house,

0:19:16 > 0:19:18carrying a knife.

0:19:18 > 0:19:22And I tell you now, prison is not a fun place to be with narcolepsy.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26- What's that? - Narcolepsy?

0:19:26 > 0:19:33Oh...that's when you suddenly fall asleep or lose control of your body.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Sound familiar?

0:19:34 > 0:19:36And yeah, it can kill you.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41So you're swimming... or you're driving or you're just

0:19:41 > 0:19:45brushing your teeth and you, pff, smack your head on the sink.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- You're just trying to scare me. - That's exactly what I'm trying to do.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50It explains why you have done nothing with your life.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Why you are robbing people's houses.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55And I bet it's why you dropped out of college.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59So why don't you do something about it?

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Why don't you go and see a doctor, while you still can?

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Is any of this getting through to you?

0:20:07 > 0:20:09WAKE UP, STUPID!

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Oh, for goodness...

0:20:16 > 0:20:18BELL RINGS

0:20:18 > 0:20:21- What? - We want our friend back.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Great. You can have him. - Really?

0:20:23 > 0:20:25Yeah, absolutely. He's, er, he's lying down upstairs.

0:20:25 > 0:20:26Why is he lying down?

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- He's asleep. - What did you do to him?

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Nothing. You take his head and you take his feet.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35The, er, the job's a good 'un, I think.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37It's a trick.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39It's not a trick. I want him off my property.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41I'll even open the door for you.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43HE WHISPERS

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Big Jake thinks you drugged him.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47I'm doing it now. Sorry, Big Jake.

0:20:47 > 0:20:48Sorry!

0:20:48 > 0:20:50He's worried you'll do something to us as well.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53I'm not going to do anything to you.

0:20:53 > 0:20:54Cub Scout honour, Big Jake.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58- All right. - Lenny, don't.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Is it a trap? - No, mate, I want to stay here.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05- What? - Why? Did he drug you?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08No, he thinks I'm sick. He's a doctor.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11- I think I need help. - Are you sure?

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Sorry, Lenny, Big Jake. Thanks for coming for me.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15I'll call you both tomorrow, yeah?

0:21:15 > 0:21:18- OK, bye. - OK, bye.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23So, can this thing really kill me?

0:21:24 > 0:21:27Five minutes. Then you're out of here.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36Oh, come on!

0:21:36 > 0:21:39- Mine is broken. - But what are we supposed to do?

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Just use the big one. And I'm going to bring it back.

0:21:42 > 0:21:43But why are you taking it?

0:21:43 > 0:21:46I'll have it back by Monday, 12 o'clock, OK?

0:21:46 > 0:21:49I'm the one who's supposed to keep on top of all this stuff.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52I could get in serious trouble with Mrs T if the stocks don't add up.

0:21:52 > 0:21:53Eesh, please...

0:21:53 > 0:21:56If it's legit, just tell me. I won't bother you again.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59Just, trust me, OK. I've...I've got my reasons.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07The first time it happened was at the college bar.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10There was this girl, I tried to tell her I liked her.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13The next thing I know, some bouncer is waking me up.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18I thought it was the booze, then it happened again.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20In an exam.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Stress will be a factor.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24I couldn't keep up.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26I...I just thought I wasn't up to it, you know.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Well, I don't know if that's true or not.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31But I do know that you need to make changes.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34And changes means cutting down on the booze,

0:22:34 > 0:22:36sleeping regular, non-vampire hours.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39And get yourself the proper treatment.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41You do that,

0:22:41 > 0:22:43there's no reason you can't get control of your life again.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Thanks.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49What's your real name?

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Tony...

0:22:52 > 0:22:53..Stark.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55That's Iron Man's name. Really?

0:22:55 > 0:22:57It's true. I got loads of stick at school.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03You are going to ring and make an appointment at The Mill.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06If you don't, then I'm going to ring the police.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09That's our deal. You take it or you leave it.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11I'll take it. Thank you so much.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12You know what?

0:23:12 > 0:23:16You have a responsibility to look after your not-very-bright friends.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19No more getting them involved in stupid schemes. Yeah?

0:23:21 > 0:23:23OK. Thank you so much, Dr Haskey.

0:23:24 > 0:23:25Get out of my house.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Thank you.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35The police are paying. The least we can do.

0:23:35 > 0:23:39When this is over, it's going to be weird living in a house again.

0:23:40 > 0:23:43Yeah, I didn't expect it to get this crazy.

0:23:44 > 0:23:45Daniel was right.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48You know, I get so fixed on putting someone away,

0:23:48 > 0:23:49that nothing else matters.

0:23:49 > 0:23:52Your family, your job, it's all collateral damage.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55My ex used to call me Robocop. Not in a good way.

0:23:55 > 0:23:56Is there a good way?

0:23:56 > 0:23:58I don't know, I've never actually seen it.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Robocop doesn't have time to watch Robocop.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02HE CHUCKLES

0:24:03 > 0:24:05You're not a robot.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07You care about these kids...

0:24:08 > 0:24:11The ones who don't understand about consequences.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17I wouldn't be testifying, if it wasn't for you.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23No. You'd be with your family, safe and sound.

0:24:23 > 0:24:28That's my choice. Yes, you're driven. But you have to be.

0:24:29 > 0:24:30I'm like that too.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33Do I need to put my surprised face on here?

0:24:37 > 0:24:42Sometimes, you have to make hard choices,

0:24:42 > 0:24:44to stop people getting hurt.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49My ex would say that's because I always have to be right.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Some of us ARE always right.

0:24:51 > 0:24:52HE CHUCKLES

0:24:52 > 0:24:54It's a curse.

0:24:57 > 0:25:01I remembered Reece's last words, last week.

0:25:03 > 0:25:04What were they?

0:25:06 > 0:25:09"Hold on, pain ends".

0:25:09 > 0:25:11It's a song, I think.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15The things people think about in their last moments.

0:25:17 > 0:25:18I think it means hope.

0:25:20 > 0:25:24Whenever I have doubts about any of this, it keeps me going.

0:25:25 > 0:25:29I'm doing it for Reece, and for Joe, and...

0:25:31 > 0:25:32..for everyone.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Keep going, it gets better.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42I hope so.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48HE SIGHS

0:25:54 > 0:25:59Sleep, trusty Excalibur, until next time someone tries to break in.

0:26:06 > 0:26:11Oh, no! You thieving little toerag!

0:26:13 > 0:26:16I should have called the police straight away.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Rob! Hi!

0:26:18 > 0:26:20It's, erm, it's Al Haskey. Funny story...

0:26:23 > 0:26:26We're the last ones here!

0:26:26 > 0:26:30Yeah, they left ages ago. I'm a policeman, I notice these things.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32But...what about the backup?

0:26:32 > 0:26:33Oh, they're in the lobby.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36I've got no idea who that couple were.

0:26:36 > 0:26:37They weren't police?

0:26:37 > 0:26:38No, but they were definitely a couple.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40She was getting very hands-on with him.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42So much for my eye.

0:26:42 > 0:26:43They're OK.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Another drink?

0:26:46 > 0:26:49No. No, I've got court in the morning.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52- I should get an early night. - Which was my next suggestion.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Thank you for the drinks. And for looking after me.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00All part of the service.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Do you want me to escort you to your room?

0:27:04 > 0:27:05Just, just to be safe.

0:27:07 > 0:27:08STAFF TIDY UP

0:27:08 > 0:27:10No.

0:27:10 > 0:27:11No, thank you.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Goodnight.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Night.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25You are very brave standing up to these criminals.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26Is something wrong?

0:27:26 > 0:27:29I need a response team at The Mill straight away.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31How about you put your phone away when I'm talking to you?

0:27:31 > 0:27:33I'll do what I want, you old fart.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36I call Dr Zara Carmichael.

0:27:36 > 0:27:39I do solemnly swear that the evidence

0:27:39 > 0:27:44I give shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.