0:00:32 > 0:00:34Is this the DIY class?
0:00:35 > 0:00:37- Not yet.- Oh, yeah. I am a bit early.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39But this is the right place, though, yeah?
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- Oh, that depends. What's your name? - Sid Vere.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Yeah, you're in the right place. - Good.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50SID CHUCKLES
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Um...what exactly are we going to be doing?
0:00:53 > 0:00:55It's just I don't know very much about the course.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57My mum signed me up for it.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Yeah, she's got it in her head that I need to brush up on my DIY skills.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04I mean, I can hang a picture, even fix a leaky tap,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06I've just had some issues with flat-pack furniture.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- HE CHUCKLES - Your mum's a shrewd woman.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11She'll save herself a fortune in the long run.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- How do you mean?- No need for expensive plumbers and builders.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17She'll soon have a certified handyman under her roof.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I've just bought my own place.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23I don't still live with my mum. That would be embarrassing, wouldn't it?
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Right. A-hem!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I had no idea. He's a bit young to be cashing in his chips.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Must have a decent pension pot.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35If he can afford to retire early, why not?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- Mrs Barrett's ECG. - OK, great. Thank you.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Yeah, tell her I'll follow it up in the morning.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- Is someone retiring? - Edward Lockyear.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44He works at the Redgrove practice.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46He's doing the right thing, you know.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Most GPs can only hack it for so long.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Heston - his best days are behind him.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Hmm. He hasn't got much longer left, has he?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54If I had his money, I'd be in that Italian villa all year round.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57We'll see. Ruhma's not ready to retire any time soon.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Heston's just biding his time.
0:02:05 > 0:02:10Mm. Yep. I'm getting traces of vanilla and, um...and cedarwood.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13A little too oxidised for my palate.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Is that the wine or the nachos?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Well, both. I am using the wine as a dip.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Here he is! Erin's been counting the seconds.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- How you doing?- Er, yeah, so-so.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Well, we'll have to fix that. Red or white?
0:02:26 > 0:02:27No, thanks, I'm not in a party mood.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- Shame. Why not? - Have you two heard of Viper?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37At the end of the course, you should have the confidence and ability
0:02:37 > 0:02:40to take on a wide range of DIY tasks.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Everything from tiling walls to emergency plumbing.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46But your ambitions needn't end there.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Some of my past students have gone on
0:02:48 > 0:02:51to floating book shelves, recessed lighting...
0:02:51 > 0:02:56Why pay top whack to plumbers, carpenters and electricians
0:02:56 > 0:02:59when you can become the multi-skilled master of...
0:02:59 > 0:03:00DOOR OPENS
0:03:00 > 0:03:03What did I say? Made us late now, haven't you?
0:03:03 > 0:03:06..your own domain.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Early, more like. Still the boring intro.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Can I help?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14You're Graham, right? Graham Fenton?
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- Correct.- Jodie and Lewis Runacre.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21We're here for the home maintenance class.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24What? I thought you were going to the bingo?
0:03:24 > 0:03:28What, so you can bunk off after the first two minutes? Don't think so.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31What kind of numpty does a DIY course with his mum?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34One like you, as it happens.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36If you'd like to take a workstation,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39and I'll brief everyone on the first practical task.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52And what really worries me is that people haven't got the foggiest idea
0:03:52 > 0:03:53about what they're taking.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56I mean, if they're lucky, they'll be catatonic for a few hours,
0:03:56 > 0:03:58and if not, they might be dead within a few hours,
0:03:58 > 0:04:00maybe even minutes. And it's everywhere.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- It's on the streets, homeless shelters, nightclubs.- Yeah.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Next time we're out clubbing, remind me to always check the label.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08You know what us young 'uns are like,
0:04:08 > 0:04:12with our crazy discotheques, and our dangerous drugs.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13That's not what I meant.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Look, Erin's a sensible girl. She keeps me on the straight and narrow.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Yeah, proper Girl Guide, me.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21It's dead sweet that you're worried about us, Jimmi,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23but there's no need. We're pretty clued-up about Viper.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25There was a team briefing at St Phil's last week,
0:04:25 > 0:04:27and we've seen a few cases since then.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29OK, right.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Sure I can't tempt you? Might help cheer you up a bit.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- Go on, then.- I'll get you a glass.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41DRILL WHIZZES
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Bish-bash-bosh, innit?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- What now?- Well, we wait for the others to finish.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02It isn't straight.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- What?- The right bracket's slightly lower than the left one.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- You're saying it's wonky?! - Right. Wonky.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11There's at least half a centimetre in it.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Half a centimetre? Are you taking the...?!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Why don't you remove the right bracket,
0:05:15 > 0:05:19then make the correct measurement, and re-fix it in the correct spot?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Mm! No slouch, is he?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Honestly, I don't know where he gets it from!
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Well, I wish I got that sort of encouragement whenever I let rip!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36It was a big moment. He hadn't passed wind in over three days.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- But the worst thing... - No! He followed through?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43No! But we all gave him a round of applause, poor guy!
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Sister gave me a right ear-bashing.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I think maybe you had to be there.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Sorry, no, don't mind me.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57Actually...there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Oh, yeah?- I've met someone.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Oh! Er...good. Great. Good for you.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Is it someone special?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Yeah, yeah, exactly. Someone special.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10We're getting on really well so far.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Is it OK if he stays over tonight?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15You don't need to ask my permission, do you?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Excuse me. Need to powder my nose.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25So she doesn't mind?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Mind what?- You know, your new bloke.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Well, why would she? - Yeah, no, of course.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Besides, she's only got eyes for you.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Right.- You're hilarious!
0:06:37 > 0:06:41She likes you, you like her. Nothing is standing in your way.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42Why don't you just go for it?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47- You off out, then?- In a bit, yeah.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48I think we're just going to go to the pub.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I should probably skedaddle.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Don't be daft. Why don't you chill with Jimmi? He's not going anywhere.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58You're not going anywhere, are you?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06Ooh! Just how I like it - strong and sugary, like my men!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08SHE LAUGHS
0:07:08 > 0:07:10I'm only joking. I use sweetener.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- Have you finished already? - Not quite.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16I'm a bit parched. Fancied a brew.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17Help yourself.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20No Mrs Fenton, then?
0:07:22 > 0:07:23No wedding ring.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Still waiting for the right girl to come along?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Excuse me.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Um...I'd just like to ask you a favour.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35My son Lewis, he's not very academic, bless him.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39Left school last year with not much to show for it.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41But he's great at anything practical.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Put that shelf up in no time, didn't he?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Well, I try to encourage craftsmanship more than speed.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52Well, he's good at that, and all. You must know loads of tradesmen.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Maybe one of them's looking for an apprentice?
0:07:55 > 0:07:59Possibly, but I'd only recommend somebody I can personally vouch for,
0:07:59 > 0:08:01and I barely know your son.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Well, we can soon put that right.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06How about a little one-to-one after the class?
0:08:06 > 0:08:10That way, you can get to know him better, see that he's a good lad.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Everyone pays the same price for the course.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15It wouldn't be right to offer preferential treatment.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18No, I suppose not.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21I'm not an employment agency, you know.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- Is that the only reason you came? - No!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Not the ONLY reason.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I've wanted to do an evening class for ages.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32I was leafing through the brochure,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35and your little face jumped out at me.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51Cheers. You're a star.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Glad someone thinks so.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55You OK?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57He doesn't remember me.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, have you done one of these classes before?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01No, no. I met him a long time ago.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Ships that pass in the night.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Oh, really?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I thought he might remember.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12Just two more minutes, and then we'll see how everyone's done.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- I'll let you get on.- OK. Thanks.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Thank you. So, this new guy, Will's new boyfriend, do you know him?
0:09:23 > 0:09:25No, but I've heard lots of good things.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Will doesn't normally get excited, so maybe he's a keeper.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Oh! Hi.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Jimmi, hi.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Do you two know each other?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Yeah, but I had no idea you were Will's uncle.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I had no idea that you two were friendly.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Friendly?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- WILL CHUCKLES - Yeah, we're friendly, right?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51This isn't awkward, is it?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53No, not a bit.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I mean, I hope you don't mind.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59No, I'm...really pleased.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Yeah, that's Jimmi's pleased face.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04You see, this way, he gets to spend time with Erin all by himself.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Hey. I'm Erin. How you doing?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Good. Yeah, all good.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14So, are you two, um...
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- What? - Do you mean, are they friendly?
0:10:17 > 0:10:18- Yeah.- Yeah, sure they are.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Though there is potential for them to be even more friendly
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- as soon as we're out of the way. - Will...
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Well done, Will. You've managed to embarrass all three of us
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- in under a minute.- Well, it's what I do. Goodbye! Come on.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47Into cougars, are you?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Sorry?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52My mum. Bit old for you, isn't she?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Yeah. I mean, no.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- Possibly.- Should've guessed why she dragged me here.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00She's always scoping out some fella.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- One of her exes, are you? - No. Nothing like at all.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06She just lent me a pencil, that's all.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09You seem all right. Better than her usual sort.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Look, mate, you're barking up the wrong tree.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Oh, yeah? Which tree SHOULD I bark up?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Er...
0:11:16 > 0:11:17What?
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Not him?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Who told you that?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- Did she tell you that?! - Look, it's none of my business, OK?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Do you want to watch a bit of TV?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I'm rather enjoying the Bach.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- I see Viper's in the news again. - Mm-hmm.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48- Did you read the article?- Yeah.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Hey, did you ever take drugs, you know, back in the day?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55"Back in the day"?
0:11:55 > 0:11:56In your heady youth.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01I think there were some fairly typical student parties,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03not that I really remember.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Because of the drugs?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07No, because my heady youth was a long time ago,
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- as you love to remind me.- What?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Hey, I was joking. Did I hit a nerve?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18You know, these chemical-based drugs are quite a problem.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21A couple of weeks ago, no-one had heard of Viper,
0:12:21 > 0:12:22now it's all over Letherbridge,
0:12:22 > 0:12:24and we don't really know what we're dealing with.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Then we need to just find out a bit more, don't we?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Yeah, but then in a while, it'll be superseded by something else
0:12:29 > 0:12:31immediately available on the internet,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33and we'll never get to grips with it.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36You know, that sounds like defeatist attitude.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38It's not defeatist, it's just realistic.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Heston, things are changing all the time.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44You know, we either keep pace with the brave new world,
0:12:44 > 0:12:47or we get left behind, like the, um...
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Dinosaur?
0:12:51 > 0:12:52SHE SIGHS
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Use a liberal measure of adhesive,
0:12:59 > 0:13:03and spread it across the wall, like so.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06You know this guy? You've got history?
0:13:07 > 0:13:14Then, use the notched spreader to create a more even covering.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16It were a long time ago.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Now, once you've got a consistent layer of adhesive,
0:13:20 > 0:13:25place the first of your tiles in the corner, next to your two battens.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27How long ago?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Before you were born. It were only a fling.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33You should then insert a couple of spacers
0:13:33 > 0:13:35between this tile and the next one.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39These ensure that your gaps are perfectly even.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43But we did have a good connection, or so I thought at the time.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48Few things are more ugly and offensive
0:13:48 > 0:13:51than an inconsistent grout line.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53It's details like this
0:13:53 > 0:13:57that separate a sloppy amateur from a consummate handyman...
0:13:57 > 0:13:58He WAS very good with his hands.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Mum!
0:14:00 > 0:14:01..or handywoman.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Aw! Listen to this!
0:14:06 > 0:14:09It's a couple who had the wedding from hell.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Bride got food poisoning, best man went AWOL,
0:14:12 > 0:14:14the place flooded, and then to cap it all off,
0:14:14 > 0:14:18the photographer lost the memory stick, and all the photos are gone.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Maybe that was just as well.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21What? No, They're devastated.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- So guess what they did. - Got divorced?
0:14:24 > 0:14:28No. Three months later, they took the wedding photos again.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31That is ridiculous.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35Why? Second time round, there's no stress, there's no scheduling.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39It's all about focusing and having the best possible wedding photos.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Well, they're not wedding photos, they are
0:14:41 > 0:14:44three-months-after-the-wedding photos.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- OK, pedant.- I mean, does reality count for nothing?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49All people seem to want
0:14:49 > 0:14:52is to post flattering images of themselves online,
0:14:52 > 0:14:55advertising their supposedly perfect lives.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Don't forget your spacers.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08You need to use plastic spacers, remember?
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Oh! Memory like a sieve!
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Still, never forget a face. How about you?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19You've got too big a gap over here.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22And let's try and adjust them before the adhesive starts to set.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25There we are.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Nice touch. Thank you.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Don't go mixing business and pleasure, mate.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32She's not interested. Not any more.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34I think you've got the wrong idea.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37No, I think YOU'VE got the wrong idea.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- Er...Lewis?- Yeah?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42I could use an extra pair of hands, if you've got a spare minute.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54No, it doesn't feel the least bit weird. Why would it?
0:15:54 > 0:15:57I just thought that, you know, you two were so close,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00that it might be strange with you... seeing him with Ben, you know?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04That would imply that I fancy Will, which I don't.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Even if he wasn't gay, I wouldn't fancy him. He's not my type.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10In fact, I've always had a thing for older men.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15You're a cool guy, Jimmi. Very laid back.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Most doctors I know are terminally uptight.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20A-ha! Well, thank you, um...
0:16:20 > 0:16:23I'm not really sure how well you know me.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Not as well as I'd like to know you.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37What gets me most is that she pretends
0:16:37 > 0:16:39like we're here because of me.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Like this course is going to help me get a job, or something.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Maybe it will. I mean, it can't do any harm, can it?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48We're only here because she's sniffing out some new fella.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51Or an old one.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Her car-crash love life - that's all she ever thinks about.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Even mums deserve a love life.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59And, anyway, evening classes are a great way to meet people, so...
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Yeah, well, I wouldn't mind if she had better taste.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Her blokes are always a mistake.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Losers, weirdos...
0:17:07 > 0:17:09They never treat her right.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18You should've waited before cutting these tiles. They're too big.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- No, no, no, I've factored in the batten, look.- And the grout line?
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Schoolboy error, mate. That's how it should be done.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28THEY CHUCKLE
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Something wrong?
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Er...I...
0:17:33 > 0:17:36don't think this is a good idea.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Why?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Well, I'm old enough to be your dad,
0:17:41 > 0:17:43and it just doesn't feel right to me.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Maybe I was wrong about you being laid back.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49HE SIGHS
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Can I say something?
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Now that you're obviously a father figure, knock yourself out.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56OK, look, um...Will is great.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00I mean, he's a good friend, he's great fun, you're really close.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02It's just that maybe...
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Maybe you should hang out
0:18:03 > 0:18:06with people that you have more in common with.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- Straight people?- No! No.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12No.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Well, I mean, yes. If you want to meet a guy, then yes, why not?
0:18:15 > 0:18:18You're young, you're single, you're attractive.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19You should make the most of it.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Ooh! Nice work!
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- You can make a start on our bathroom tomorrow.- Yeah, can we go now?
0:18:31 > 0:18:35We can't afford too many mistakes. The course has got a tight budget.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Sorry, my bad.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Just use Tinder next time, and don't involve me.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42We're not just here cos of him.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45I wanted you to have a goal. Focus on something practical.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Don't give me that! It's never about me.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50All you ever think about is yourself.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53We're going to shoot off early.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Oh. OK. Make sure you tidy up before you go.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59- Of course.- See you next week, then.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00Don't hold your breath.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06You really don't remember me, do you?
0:19:06 > 0:19:07Club Nova, '99.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- Argh!- Oh! Look what you've done to yourself!
0:19:11 > 0:19:14That's a really deep cut. Do you have a first-aid kit?
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Yeah, it's over here.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24You know what? I know my own mind.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26To suggest that I don't, it's patronising.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27That's not what I meant.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30It's just this whole situation with me and you and Will,
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- I mean, come on, it's complicated! - How is it complicated?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Because I'm his uncle, and you're his friend.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Will is totally cool with the idea of you and me.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39We talk about you all the time.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Of course you do. That's exactly my point!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43It's only you making it complicated.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44You're putting up barriers,
0:19:44 > 0:19:47all because of some dull, misguided morality.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51Look, I shouldn't have let it get this far, OK? I'm sorry.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Shame.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04DOOR CLOSES
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Yeah, I'm afraid you are going to need stitches.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11She looks so different now.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15But it was a long time ago. 18 years.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20So, what is this Club Nova, then?
0:20:20 > 0:20:23I only went there the once.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25My cousin's stag do.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Jodie came out of nowhere, dragged me onto the dancefloor.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32When she found out I lived nearby, she invited herself back.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- I didn't mind. - SID LAUGHS
0:20:35 > 0:20:39We stayed up until dawn, just talking...at first.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I suppose you'd call it a one-night stand.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46So, what, you never saw her again?
0:20:46 > 0:20:50I got up late the next day, she'd left a note,
0:20:50 > 0:20:51"Thanks for a great night."
0:20:51 > 0:20:54No number, no address.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58And then...years later, she came and found you.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01No. It's just a coincidence.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07How old would you say he was, her son?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Um...I don't know. It's hard to tell, really.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13She said he left school last year.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14That would mean he's about...
0:21:15 > 0:21:16..17.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21We're going to make a move.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25You knew where I lived. I thought you might have got back in touch.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Well, I wanted to, but... things changed.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31I met someone else.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Are you going to give me a lift home, or what?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I've already wasted enough of my time.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Don't speak to her that way.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Your mother's the most important person you'll ever know.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48She gave birth to you, changed your nappies, put up with your tantrums.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50And what does she ask for in return?
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Nothing but a bit of love and respect.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Thanks, Teach. Like it's any of your business!
0:21:58 > 0:22:00It's entirely my business.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Oh, and how do you work that one out?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Are you going to tell him, or shall I?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- Tell him what? - The reason you came here.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- It's obvious where he gets it from. - Gets what from?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14- The apple never falls far from the tree.- What?
0:22:14 > 0:22:15Why are you talking riddles?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19- I'm your father.- Ooh!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:22:26 > 0:22:29It's quite a big thing now, you know.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- What is?- Wedding photo reshoots.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Lots of people are doing them, especially in the States.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Why doesn't that surprise me?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Why shouldn't you have a second chance of redoing your photos?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Especially if it reminds you of your wedding day.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Because some wedding days are best forgotten.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Ah, thank you!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Oh, you know what I mean.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Our nuptials weren't exactly ideal.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Exactly.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55That is exactly my point, Heston.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Sorry, what IS your point?
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Look at these.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05That's a local studio, and... they just look beautiful.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15So, would you like a lift to the hospital?
0:23:15 > 0:23:17So stupid!
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Not really. I mean, the maths did seem to check out.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Yeah, but not the finer points.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I'm pretty sure we took precautions.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- HE SIGHS - I should feel relieved,
0:23:28 > 0:23:31but the notion of being a dad was strangely comforting.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35I thought I'd found a chip off the old block.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37You're still young - there's plenty of time for chips.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- DOOR OPENS - Mum...
0:23:45 > 0:23:47I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49No. Course not.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53Believe me, I'd be happy if you WERE Lewis' dad.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Gary's not much use to anyone. He can barely wire a plug.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I thought it was your way of introducing us.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04So, why did you come here?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I thought it might do Lewis some good, like I said.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10And...I were curious.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12I wanted to see if you'd changed.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16- And have I?- No, not really. You're still a bit stuffy.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18THEY CHUCKLE
0:24:18 > 0:24:22I think that's why I liked you. Not my usual type.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Um...same time next week?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Yeah, same time next week.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Right, then, er...shall we?- Yeah.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Come on.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Can we drop it now, please?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Yeah, as soon as you say yes.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51I do not need some tacky, reconstructed photo
0:24:51 > 0:24:52to remind me of my wedding day.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54In spite of everything that went wrong,
0:24:54 > 0:24:58I got to say "I do" to the woman I love, and that's enough for me.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01OK, bottom line, Heston, we don't have any wedding photos,
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- and I... I really want some.- Well, you can't always have what you want.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07I didn't want you to see you frogmarched down the aisle
0:25:07 > 0:25:09by a policeman, but it happened.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13We can't restage events like a tacky pantomime.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17But wouldn't it be nice just to have a few photos,
0:25:17 > 0:25:21of you in your beautiful suit, and me in my dress?
0:25:21 > 0:25:22That ship has sailed.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Come on! It'd be lovely.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Shak and Alia would be really excited, you know.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Oh, we could invite the guests, as well!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31OK, just a few people.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34This is getting more ridiculous by the second.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37But it shouldn't feel ridiculous. Lots of people are doing it.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I do not doubt it. People would do any vain,
0:25:39 > 0:25:42self-serving thing that you could think of.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44I would not, neither would you, I hope.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46So, can we just shut up about it?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51SHE SIGHS
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Not here, we'll wake up Jimmi!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03WILL GIGGLES
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Oh. Hi.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Um...yeah, we thought you'd gone up already.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Er...yeah, not quite.
0:26:09 > 0:26:10Is Erin upstairs?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13No. No, she went, er...a while ago.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Oh. Did you have a nice time?
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Yeah, it was fine.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20WILL FEIGNS A YAWN
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Right! Well, um...yeah, I just think we're going to...
0:26:23 > 0:26:26We're going to head up. Goodnight.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Um...night.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Night.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32GIGGLING
0:26:34 > 0:26:36DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Mick? Meet Ruhma.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- Oh!- Welcome to the madhouse.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48I had no idea Will was your nephew.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50- Yeah, well, how could you? - Can I ask a favour?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Can we keep this between ourselves?
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Yeah. Fine by me.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55You know that she's vulnerable,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57so why would you be in that room alone with her?
0:26:58 > 0:27:02- I don't have to justify myself to you.- No?