0:00:26 > 0:00:28Happy...
0:00:29 > 0:00:30..Halloween.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33Ghost.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Pumpkin.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Send.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38POPPING
0:00:40 > 0:00:41BEEPING
0:00:43 > 0:00:45SHE GASPS
0:00:46 > 0:00:48DOG BARKS
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Heston?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56DOG CONTINUES BARKING
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Ruhma?
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Anybody...?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05This isn't funny.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08This isn't funny...
0:01:08 > 0:01:10CREAKING
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- Gahh! - SHE SHRIEKS
0:01:13 > 0:01:15HESTON LAUGHS
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Heston, you are rotten.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Oh, I don't know.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21I think everyone deserves a good scare on Halloween.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Yeah, otherwise it's just a damp squib.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Do you think? I think everyone had a good time,
0:01:26 > 0:01:27even if they did bail before midnight.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Well, it's not over yet. Who wants another drink?
0:01:29 > 0:01:32- Ooh, me. And more fun!- Me too.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34How about a ghost story?
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Oooh...
0:01:36 > 0:01:38OK...
0:01:39 > 0:01:43What scares you? What's your deepest fear?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Ooh, I know what yours would be.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50Being forced to eat a greasy, salty takeaway.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Ugh!
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Straight out of the polystyrene carton.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Whilst listening to opera being sung really badly...
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Dagger through my heart! Urgh!
0:02:02 > 0:02:04No, in all seriousness.
0:02:05 > 0:02:10What if I...lost my temper and did some real harm?
0:02:12 > 0:02:16I can see why you would say that, but that was a long time ago.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Yes, but maybe...
0:02:20 > 0:02:23..if I was really provoked?
0:02:25 > 0:02:30..and any disposable gloves which have not come in contact with fluids
0:02:30 > 0:02:35should be put in the new box marked "green disposables".
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Sorry, what for?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39It is a new NHS directive.
0:02:39 > 0:02:44- It's ridiculous.- Keep up. New directives moving forwards, Heston.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45I don't even know what that means.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49It means an increasing lack of funds equals tighten your belts.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52There'll be clock-watching in the minor surgeries clinic.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54One hasty move, one slip of the scalpel, and...
0:02:56 > 0:02:58There will be no more minor surgeries on site.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- Since when?- The new consultations put paid to that. Three minutes.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04- What?!- Three-minute consultations,
0:03:04 > 0:03:07coupled with the new homeopathic initiative.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Homeopathy?
0:03:08 > 0:03:14Homeopathy helps us to sidestep the unnecessary demand for antibiotics.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18- Yeah. - Now, for the main bullet points.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22Hospital referrals are to be kept to a minimum,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25elective surgeries discouraged.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27This is pure insanity!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29We're here to help people, not keep them at arm's length.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33God helps those who help themselves, Dr Carter.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- Can I get an amen on that? - ALL: Amen.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39You're a bunch of lunatics! People will die!
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Now, Dr Haskey. You were going to present to us
0:03:43 > 0:03:46a summary of your research into faith healing?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Dr Carter will come round.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Hm. He will if he knows what's good for him - but let's face it,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57he's an old man with old ideas.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58I would like to disagree...
0:03:59 > 0:04:00..but I cannot.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Hard decisions must be made.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- KNOCK AT DOOR - What?
0:04:08 > 0:04:13I thought your blood sugar might be low, considering your temperament.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I think my temperament was entirely appropriate,
0:04:18 > 0:04:20given the tripe I was listening to.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- I can see that we're not going to agree on this.- No, we're not.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28OK, so... Perhaps it's time for you to consider...
0:04:29 > 0:04:31..alternative arrangements.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34If you think I should retire, why don't you just say it?
0:04:35 > 0:04:38All right, yes.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42You've always wanted rid of me, haven't you?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44You and that she-devil.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49I saw the way you smirked when I gave up my partnership.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53You're a petty, jealous, old man
0:04:53 > 0:04:55who has always resented what Zara and I have.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Jealous?- Yeah - we have Joe. We have Isobel.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02And you're reduced to borrowing people's children
0:05:02 > 0:05:03because you have none of your own.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05And I can tell you something for nothing -
0:05:05 > 0:05:07there's something creepy about that.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- What?- Yeah...yeah.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13You blind yourself to the truth, deliberately,
0:05:13 > 0:05:16for the sake of cobbling together a "family".
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Did you know that Ruhma and her children
0:05:18 > 0:05:19- laugh behind your back? - That is a lie!
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Yeah... I mean she loves the idea of an Italian villa,
0:05:23 > 0:05:24nothing more.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Your best is behind you.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30There's something pathetic about you these days -
0:05:30 > 0:05:33like you're living in the Victorian era.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36And you dress to match, yeah.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40You're a sawbones in an age of enlightenment.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43And maybe it is time for you to settle into your fog
0:05:43 > 0:05:46of port and Stilton and Gilbert & Sullivan...
0:05:46 > 0:05:50and pray that death calls while you still have an ounce of dignity.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56You've always been holier-than-thou.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Here are a few more holes to help you on your way.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02DANIEL GRUNTS
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Daniel, I promise not to give you a soggy bottom.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13On your marks, get set, bake!
0:06:13 > 0:06:17It looks wonderful, Dr Carter - your own recipe?
0:06:17 > 0:06:22It's my humble apology for my behaviour yesterday.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Thank you.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26It did get a bit tooth and claw, didn't it?
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Still, no harm done.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30I'll go and see if Daniel wants a slice.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33We understand your reservation.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37We just hope you understand our appetite for new challenges.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- Yes.- He's not in his room...
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Thank you.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44There's plenty, so enjoy.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Mmm! It's very...savoury...
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Thank you.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Delicious, Heston! So succulent.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- And the pastry's lovely, too. - My pleasure.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00The meat has been marinated to perfection. Very robust.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Am I detecting a hint of star anise?
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Yes. Liquorish-y. Mmm. Delish.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13What?
0:07:13 > 0:07:19Liquorish-y? Star anise? I mean, what is wrong with a proper pie?
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- We can't have food, can we? We have to have "cuisine".- Well...
0:07:23 > 0:07:25I want food that tastes of what it's supposed to taste like.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27You know. Sausage and mash
0:07:27 > 0:07:30that tastes of pork sausages and potatoes.
0:07:30 > 0:07:35Or salt and vinegar crisps - not red snapper with a buerre blanc sauce!
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- I think you'll find... - And where's my pint of ale?
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Pie and pint!
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Something smooth that tickles its way past my taste buds
0:07:43 > 0:07:46and then makes burping sounds from my bottom.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Chips. This needs chips.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Something deep-fried with a big dollop of tomato sauce.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56What's going on, Heston? Have your taste buds abandoned you?
0:07:56 > 0:07:59My taste buds are in perfect working order!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01It's all downhill from now on.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05I mean, soon you'll just be drinking milky tea with a digestive biscuit.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09I've tasted your offering and I find it to be wanting.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Nil points!
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Excuse me.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23SCREAMING
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Well, hopefully, hopefully, I have mellowed with age.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Well, I think being married to Ruhma has helped, as well.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36How could I not be a better man with her in my life?
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Even if she is a lightweight.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41OK, who's next?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44What's your deepest fear?
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Me?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47OK.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Gosh, how to narrow it down.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Course, I've already faced the biggest one.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52C that must not be named.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58What about...spiders...?
0:08:58 > 0:08:59Snakes?
0:08:59 > 0:09:00No.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05I think it's growing old. Ageing.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I don't understand why we have to go through that decline -
0:09:08 > 0:09:10losing your faculties.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Well, it's better than the alternative - not growing old.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yes, you're right, of course.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19But honestly...having to accept that you're all passion-spent.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21That your youth is behind you.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25That creeping shuffle to the grave.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43What DID I come up here for...?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45THUNDER CRASHES
0:09:47 > 0:09:50You requested an audience?
0:09:50 > 0:09:51Valerie?
0:09:53 > 0:09:56VALERIE!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Where is your appliance -
0:09:58 > 0:10:02the state-of-the-art one we got you...at a heavy discount?
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Ugh.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Here.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18You left it in a glass of water - muddled up with your teeth.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- I shudder to think where they ended up.- What?
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I said you left it in a glass of...
0:10:24 > 0:10:26There's no need to shout.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30I left it here last night
0:10:30 > 0:10:33so I couldn't hear my alarm clock this morning.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37And then I went to the Mill first,
0:10:37 > 0:10:41before I remembered that it burned down years ago.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Yes.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Since you had the idea to celebrate your 60th with flaming Sambucas
0:10:46 > 0:10:49and an indoor barbecue. Who could have predicted that disaster?
0:10:49 > 0:10:54Not my fault that Ayesha challenged Barry to a limbo contest.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08You wanted to see me about something?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10What?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Oh, yes.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Er...your offer for me to be your charlady.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- Well?- I can't.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Even though I've got nothing
0:11:21 > 0:11:26since Mrs Tembe embezzled all the pension fund and ran off with Jimmi.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Yes, that was unfortunate.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Unfortunate?!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I don't have the resources that you and Daniel have.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I've got nothing -
0:11:36 > 0:11:40no man, no hope,
0:11:40 > 0:11:43nothing but the grave opening up before me,
0:11:43 > 0:11:46which actually would be a merciful release.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Oh, don't say that.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50I'd rather that than reaching the day
0:11:50 > 0:11:53when I'm drooling in an old folks' home,
0:11:53 > 0:11:58ignored apart from when my adult nappy needs changing.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01That's why I made you my generous offer.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04How can I clean for you?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I have to give my legs 48 hours' notice
0:12:07 > 0:12:10every time I climb a flight of stairs.
0:12:11 > 0:12:17Oh, it's so unfair, growing old, the body failing you.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Well, my body.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24You haven't aged a day.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28All these years, not a single wrinkle.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Yes, I do have good genes.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Fabulous cheekbones.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38I would give anything - everything...
0:12:38 > 0:12:41I would sell my soul to be as young as you are now.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44THUNDER CRASHES
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Really?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48You must have made a deal with the Devil.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52INSINCERE LAUGHTER
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Oh, dear, sweet, naive Valerie -
0:12:56 > 0:12:58haven't you figured it out yet?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I don't make deals with myself.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06And the penny drops.
0:13:07 > 0:13:12Yes, my darling. Shock revelation -
0:13:12 > 0:13:17I am Lucifer, the Fallen One.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22God's most beautiful Archangel, cast into the pit.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25You're...the Devil?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29# Ta-da... #
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Oh!
0:13:40 > 0:13:43You'd give your soul, you said.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46No! No, get away!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48But souls are my core industry.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I am very good at giving mortals their heart's desire.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56Who else do you think gave Mrs Tembe the happy ending she so craved?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58At my expense!
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Don't worry - she'll pay for it eventually.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Little Winifred is going south for her retirement,
0:14:05 > 0:14:10to where it is always hot - her and that little Welsh hobgoblin.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11No!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13I don't want to hear it!
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Get thee behind me, Satan!
0:14:16 > 0:14:20Oh, if I had a pound for every time somebody said that to me.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25I make people's dreams come true.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Look, it's very simple.
0:14:30 > 0:14:36Do you want to cast off old age, to live forever?
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Do you want to enchant, and be pursued and desired?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42I can give you that.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46No. The price is too high.
0:14:46 > 0:14:52So you'd rather end your days alone, unloved,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54reliant on incontinence pants
0:14:54 > 0:14:58in some crusty old care home?
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Or...?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04VALERIE GASPS
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Those hungry eyes following you everywhere you went, Valerie -
0:15:08 > 0:15:12feasting on your body, wanting you...
0:15:16 > 0:15:18What would I have to do?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22It's a very simple transaction.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Your soul in exchange for your heart's desire.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31I, Valerie Pitman...
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- ..of my own free will... - Oh, come on, tick-tock, tick-tock.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36All those young, supple students will be arriving
0:15:36 > 0:15:38for their appointments soon.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Which Valerie is going to greet them?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48ZARA SCOFFS No.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50In blood.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52You're not applying for a bank loan.
0:16:02 > 0:16:03Sign here.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10And initial here.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16ELECTRICAL BUZZING
0:16:16 > 0:16:17THUNDER CRACKS
0:16:21 > 0:16:24So, now, state your desire.
0:16:26 > 0:16:27I wish...
0:16:28 > 0:16:32..to live young and perfect,
0:16:32 > 0:16:34forever!
0:16:39 > 0:16:42SHE LAUGHS JOYFULLY
0:16:43 > 0:16:46No more aches and pains!
0:16:46 > 0:16:51Goodbye, wrinkles! Goodbye, hearing aid!
0:16:53 > 0:16:55No, hang on...
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Something... Something's not right...
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Ooh!
0:17:00 > 0:17:03The dress is... It's growing bigger...
0:17:03 > 0:17:07The dress isn't growing, my darling.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10You're getting smaller... VALERIE WAILS
0:17:10 > 0:17:12..and smaller...
0:17:14 > 0:17:15WHISPERING: ..and smaller...
0:17:15 > 0:17:17WAILING
0:17:17 > 0:17:21SHE LAUGHS MANIACALLY
0:17:22 > 0:17:27I am sorry about the drooling and the nappy, Valerie.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30I know you wanted to avoid that.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34But you will stay young forever.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38You are so pink and plump and perfect,
0:17:38 > 0:17:40such chubby little cheeks.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42I could eat you up.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Oh, yes, I could. Yes, I could...
0:17:44 > 0:17:45I REALLY could. SHE CHUCKLES
0:17:45 > 0:17:46VALERIE WAILS
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Oh!
0:17:49 > 0:17:52I'm not saying that I would do anything to stay young.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Come to think of it, some of the things
0:17:54 > 0:17:56that people put themselves through...
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Chipmunk cheeks and shiny foreheads...
0:17:59 > 0:18:00It's all so fake, isn't it?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I mean, getting old is challenging enough
0:18:02 > 0:18:04without going through all that.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07So, Emma, what's your deepest fear?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Oh, yes, your turn.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Is it clowns?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Yes...but there are worse things.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Spider clowns - a clown's face on a spider's body.
0:18:16 > 0:18:17I wish.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21What is it, then?
0:18:21 > 0:18:24My worst fear, deep down, is...
0:18:26 > 0:18:27..being incapacitated.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Having had an illness or an accident
0:18:31 > 0:18:34that leaves me at the mercy of others.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Oh, you mean like...? - My husband, yeah.
0:18:39 > 0:18:44I saw what it did to Sam, not just physically, but mentally.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00SHE GRUNTS
0:19:00 > 0:19:01DOOR SLAMS
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Chris...?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- KAREN:- Only me! Hope you're decent.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10How you doing, Mrs Floppy Legs?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Only joking, you've gotta avalarf, ain't ya? It's a bit parky out.
0:19:16 > 0:19:21- You're much better off indoors. All cosy.- Karen...
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Now, I'm just going to pop and put the kettle on before I start.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I'm very parched.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31You really don't have to keep caring for me like this, you know.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Oh, it's all part of the Mill service.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36KAREN CACKLES
0:19:38 > 0:19:42I can't believe you thought your Chris had come home!
0:19:44 > 0:19:46I know you think he'd look after you
0:19:46 > 0:19:48like you looked after him, but...
0:19:52 > 0:19:55..some things need a woman's touch.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I mean, our Jack, he'd see me right,
0:20:04 > 0:20:07but I wouldn't want him rinsing through me smalls.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Ooh, tart's armpit.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Still, keeps the flies off.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Here we are, all girls together.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25Mind out.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Did you know you've got rats?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- What?!- Ooh, yes.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Are you sure?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Big'uns and all - I saw one last week.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45Ooh, the speed of him - keep up with that wheelchair no problem.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47About so big.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50I didn't want to worry you, but you don't want filthy vermin
0:20:50 > 0:20:53bringing down the value of your house.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Ugly, disease-ridden vermin...
0:21:01 > 0:21:03SHE GASPS
0:21:03 > 0:21:05- KAREN CACKLES - Oh, your face!
0:21:05 > 0:21:06I wish I had a camera.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11- Have you thought about selling your house?- What?!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13No...I could never sell.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17This is all I have of my time with Sam.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Every brick is cemented with our love.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Yeah, but it would free up a load of cash, wouldn't it?
0:21:23 > 0:21:27To spend on - ooh, I don't know - compensation?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30No. Chris would hate it if I was to sell.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Anyway, it's his inheritance.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Him?! You want to get rid of that flippin' vulture.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37He's just waiting for his chance.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Don't you speak about my son like that. He's my jewel!
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Jewel? Ha!
0:21:42 > 0:21:45He'll just stop long enough to grab the money and then he'll be off,
0:21:45 > 0:21:49straight back Down Under without so much as a weep at your graveside.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51That's enough!
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Think on it.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Com-pen-sa-tion.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58It must be preying on your conscience.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03Right, better crack on while you're still here.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Can't all sit around all day,
0:22:05 > 0:22:07not like some I could mention.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- MUTTERING:- On her throne like Lady Muck.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Come here out of the kindness of my heart but, no.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Ooh, no, my housekeeping skills are not good enough
0:22:17 > 0:22:18for Her Daintyship...
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Doctors said it's all in your head.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26But if I stuck this fork in your leg, you'd know about it.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Don't. You. Dare.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32You're the one who needs treatment, and we both know it.
0:22:34 > 0:22:39For the last time, my condition is physical, it's not psychosomatic.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Still, if you're a raving nymphomaniac,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43something's bound to snap.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45You - you need help.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm an angel.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54I'm sent here to help you, cos who else is there?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56There's no-one else left,
0:22:56 > 0:23:00since you wrecked the life of everyone else at the Mill.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Angel?
0:23:02 > 0:23:03No.
0:23:03 > 0:23:09You are a jailer, punisher, vile torturer.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Ooh, there's gratitude.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13But if I were any one of those things...
0:23:13 > 0:23:16You're all of them. An unholy trinity.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18..who would blame me?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21You were driving the car.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25My precious husband, your passenger...
0:23:25 > 0:23:27We've been over this a thousand times!
0:23:27 > 0:23:30..driving back from your sordid love-fest.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33My Rob -
0:23:33 > 0:23:34dead!
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Yet another victim of your curse.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40I wasn't driving!
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I'm the victim!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44You owe me!
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Cos here I am, day after day, cos there's no-one else left.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52All victims of the black widow's bite!
0:23:52 > 0:23:55You just twist things in your head!
0:23:55 > 0:24:00I am in this chair for the rest of my life because of your husband.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04But at least he got away from you.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07He loved me!
0:24:07 > 0:24:12Then why was he making the beast with two backs with me?!
0:24:12 > 0:24:13KAREN YELLS
0:24:13 > 0:24:15EMMA SCREAMS
0:24:15 > 0:24:17CLATTER
0:24:17 > 0:24:19It was me he loved!
0:24:19 > 0:24:21- DULL THUDS - Me!
0:24:23 > 0:24:28Aww. Welcome back, sleepyhead.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Now, there's good news and bad.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35You've had a nasty bang to your head
0:24:35 > 0:24:38and you're a little bit more stuck than before,
0:24:38 > 0:24:44but the surgeon managed to save your right eye.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45EMMA WHIMPERS
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Oh, come on. I'm here.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Oh, cheer up, it could be worse.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58# Head, shoulders, knees and toes Knees and toes... #
0:24:58 > 0:24:59And this is your bit.
0:24:59 > 0:25:06# And EYE and ears and mouth and nose
0:25:08 > 0:25:12# Heads, shoulders knees and toes
0:25:12 > 0:25:14# Knees and toes! #
0:25:14 > 0:25:17EMMA SCREAMS
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Oh, that's horrible.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28You do know we'd all be there for you, if anything happened.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31- Absolutely. The Mill is family. - Yes, I know.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Anyway, well, I think I'm done.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Do you want to share a taxi?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38No, no, no, it's nearly the witching hour -
0:25:38 > 0:25:42you must have a nightcap and something savoury.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44A special dish I've made.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Oh.
0:25:49 > 0:25:55Oh. I sent Al a Halloween text earlier - he hasn't replied.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58- Maybe he's out trick-or-treating. - More likely a pub crawl.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Here we are. Please help yourselves...
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- BOTH:- Ooh!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09That looks yummy.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12It's a sort of game tureen - a coarse pate.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14It's very good with the crackers.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Mmm!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Heston, that is amazing.
0:26:20 > 0:26:25Mmm! So rich in flavour. What's the recipe?
0:26:25 > 0:26:29A variation on a traditional pie filling.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Oh, which one?
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Steak and Al pie.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35Er, steak and ale - steak and ale pie.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Another slice, anyone?
0:26:49 > 0:26:51MANIACAL LAUGHTER
0:27:01 > 0:27:06- Mum, why did you help that boy? - Well, because he was hurt, darling.
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Why?
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- It's not right.- What isn't?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11We should be charging the mother, not the girl.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Myra, do you really think I'd ask if there was any other way?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16And do you really think I want to walk round
0:27:16 > 0:27:18with one of those things on my leg, like you?
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- What did you do? - I got rid of it, of course.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- Where?- In the bin, where else?