0:00:19 > 0:00:21Want one? No, I don't like them. You want one?
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Don't like olives. No.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30I've got the giggles, I'm sorry.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35You're like a big furry seal.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41Oh, that's the loveliest thing you've ever said to me.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42No!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49HORN HONKS
0:00:51 > 0:00:54What are you doing? Get off me!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57SHE TRIES TO PLAY THE TRUMPET
0:00:57 > 0:01:00# Hey, brother
0:01:00 > 0:01:05# There's an endless road to rediscover
0:01:05 > 0:01:08# Hey, sister... #
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Two stretch ago, look. I know.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19I remember being more nervous...
0:01:19 > 0:01:22I was more nervous about driving the car than speaking.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Lady Di hated us then. I know. She hates us now!
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Keep it low, keep it low. Don't I look young?
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I've got a really wonky quiff. Here we go.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37I don't know, maybe that was a choice then.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39What I'd give for a quiff, you know what I mean?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Have a little squint up and see.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47It's different.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49LADY DI SNORTS
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Come on, look! Everyone out!
0:01:53 > 0:01:56This was Boxing Day, no? Yep.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58With all this press bollocks,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01"Dyer Versus Downton" - that was the headline.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Oh, God. Me against Downton Abbey. "Boxing Dyer".
0:02:04 > 0:02:06"Boxing Dyer", that was the other one.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09"Christmas Dyer."
0:02:09 > 0:02:11That was the day we were sort of starting.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I don't mind the challenge, but my arse was flapping.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17I had a thing that went with my name - either you loved me
0:02:17 > 0:02:27and said I was a legend or you despised me
0:02:27 > 0:02:29"Get him off me screen, this is ridiculous."
0:02:29 > 0:02:34And now... Cos this was one of the greatest moves I've ever made,
0:02:34 > 0:02:39career-wise, on this platform to show what you can do and not people
0:02:39 > 0:02:42going out and buying your DVD that's in a bargain bin for two quid.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Not that you've ever had that problem, Kel, all right? I have.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48And, you know, all of a sudden I'm in their living rooms
0:02:48 > 0:02:49and they've got to watch me.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Is there a problem?
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I'm just chucking out the rubbish. Out, Shirley, out.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55I wasn't talking to you.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56You all right? You know her?
0:02:56 > 0:03:00At this point you're still thinking, "Are we going to be a car crash?"
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Everybody...
0:03:02 > 0:03:04meet the new owner of the Vic.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Yep. We're taking over the Vic. Yep.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Phil, meet Mick...
0:03:08 > 0:03:11'It was the first duff-duff that we ever did.'
0:03:11 > 0:03:12..my brother.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15'And it went on for ever and ever and ever.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18'I remember we had three versions of that, didn't we? I remember.'
0:03:18 > 0:03:21One with the laughing and one with me just standing there, pouting.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24Mm-hmm. "Give us the laughy version." I thought,
0:03:24 > 0:03:28"That's stupid. Laughing at a duff-duff, never heard of."
0:03:29 > 0:03:32If you give them the laughy version... Then they use it.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Then they BLEEP use it. Exactly. Sorry, I've swore already.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40# What's that coming over the hill?
0:03:40 > 0:03:44# Is it a monster? Is it a monster? #
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Oh, here we go, look. This is when Max first arrives, first ever scene.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50Oh, cute.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Wow, I had hair then, sort of.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55THEY LAUGH
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Oh, is this yours, is it?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You turned sporty in your old age?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Look, I want you to go. I ain't going anywhere.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05He came back to the Square to find Bradley, obviously.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07I want you to leave now.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09What you going to do, you going to hit me?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11You going to bend me over your knee, just like old times?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14You deserved every blow, mate. Every smack you ever got.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16The only mistake I made was I didn't hit you harder!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18The one and only John Bardon.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22I did me best, we all make mistakes. Well, don't I know it, eh?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I'm living proof of your parenting skills.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25'Did you feel mean, doing that?'
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Yeah, poor John.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I want you out of this... Get off me. Get out of here!
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Get out of my house! Get your hands off me!
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Nope, I can't watch that.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I don't remember this scene, this is brilliant.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41I remember a few days after this as well,
0:04:41 > 0:04:44John came to my dressing room and his arms were a bit sore
0:04:44 > 0:04:47and he lifted up his shirt and he had bruises.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Oh, you're disgusting.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52I bought him a bottle of champagne to apologise. Aww.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55What's going on? What are you doing?
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Nothing, nothing. Well, who is he?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Who are you? Grandad, what's he doing?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Don't recognise me? No. No, I don't.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02Grandad, who is he?
0:05:04 > 0:05:05He's your dad.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09'I think Max is a good parent but he's basically misguided.'
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Absolutely deluded. He doesn't let anyone...
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Do you remember when you were going to leave us all for Stacey?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17You got your passport and were going to go away,
0:05:17 > 0:05:22run away without even telling us. It's complicated!
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Christmas Day, bye! Bye, Dad!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26It's complicated. It's not complicated.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27You're the worst dad. You're awful.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31He tries to do the right thing but he always does it in the wrong way.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Let's just say that, shall we?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36No! You're such a liar.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40# Things can only get better... #
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Ugh. Fancy having to touch people's dirty underwear.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Can't you wear gloves or something?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47We need to talk about Bianca.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49'Why, what's the matter? Is she playing you up, is she?'
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Look how young they look. And me.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54'It's much worse than that.'
0:05:54 > 0:05:55She's not pregnant, is she?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Look, I never laid a finger on her... No, she's not pregnant!
0:05:58 > 0:06:01'How did it feel in your 30s coming into this?'
0:06:01 > 0:06:04I was absolutely petrified, actually.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Bianca's your daughter, David.
0:06:08 > 0:06:09'I remember I smiled'
0:06:09 > 0:06:11at everybody for eight months.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Like a Wallace and Gromit smile.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15How was it coming in like that?
0:06:15 > 0:06:19It felt enormous. There wasn't any reality television at that time.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20No, no.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25So, EastEnders was on twice a week and the nation was watching this.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29So it felt incredible... incredibly scary that, you know,
0:06:29 > 0:06:33suddenly, everybody was going to know you wherever you were.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Listen to me, David. Bianca's your daughter.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37If you don't believe me, ask Pat.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Are you telling me my mum knows about all this? Oh, yeah.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42'Pat knows all right.'
0:06:42 > 0:06:43I like that tabard.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49# Make me feel like I'm living a
0:06:49 > 0:06:53# Teenage dream the way you turn me on... #
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Oh, no. What's he doing?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59We got a new mirror there. Don't. This is awful.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01This is your first scene? Yes. I can't even look.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03DOORBELL
0:07:03 > 0:07:04If you find it, you can keep it.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06'Your friend's walked in before you!'
0:07:06 > 0:07:07LAUGHTER
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Wow, you've changed. Lauren.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19What...what are you doing here?
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Oh, love you, too, Dad.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22I suppose this is the first time
0:07:22 > 0:07:26we'd seen you since you had a different head.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31And my first line is, "Cor, you've changed." Brilliant. That's good.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Proper chocolate at last.
0:07:36 > 0:07:41So, what have you done? Done? That hurts, Dad, that you think that.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43It's simple, I got homesick, so here I am.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47You could have called me, you know what I mean? There's these things,
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Lauren, they're called phones.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50There's also things called hugs and kisses.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53So, you got back from America, did you? Yes, but that was
0:07:53 > 0:07:56to clarify I'm really American now. Is that your American thing? Yeah.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58AMERICAN ACCENT: "Hey, Dad!"
0:07:58 > 0:08:02And I had to reveal myself, like, take my hat off.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04So sexy, look at me. Stop.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12If you'd like to take your ticket
0:08:12 > 0:08:14and wait for your number to be called.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18I've been waiting over an hour at that airport for you. Really?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20I didn't see you, and I was looking. Oh. Right.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22And then I thought, "Where would she go?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25"Where would this poor little child go?" Let's have a think, shall we?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Expelled from school, sent home.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29"I know, I'll go and see Daddy, shall I?
0:08:29 > 0:08:30"He don't know a thing about it."
0:08:30 > 0:08:33'I imagine it's hard stepping into a different character.'
0:08:33 > 0:08:35I thought everyone hated me.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37For six months, like, "Who's that chubby Lauren?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39"She's really rubbish."
0:08:39 > 0:08:41And I remember sitting on a train once...
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I'm not going to get into it, I'll start crying.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Being expelled from school is something different in America.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Max, if I could just grab the earring. What about being sent home?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Is that different as well, is it? Funny you should say that.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53She was sent home for doing drugs.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I was sitting on a train once, right?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57And I was looking out the window,
0:08:57 > 0:09:00and these people were talking about EastEnders and da-da-da.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01"Seen the new Lauren?" I thought...
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Oh, no, they were just talking about it? I thought, "I'm on the train, I'm here."
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Did they not know you were there?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I think... They'd have to. I hope so.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Then they started really bitching about me. Oh, no.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15They were like, "She's so bad. Get her off.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17"The old one was so much better."
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Yeah, I used to get on the train with you, didn't I?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21LAUGHTER
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Jake and his family!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27"You seen the new Lauren?" I got rumbled!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Oh, no, this can't be it.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39'You think about it,'
0:09:39 > 0:09:42when we first started the amount of storylines we had. There's so many.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Leave Lady Di and the haddock. It's doing that thing with its leg again!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Well, then, she must need a pony!
0:09:47 > 0:09:48Two bits of slang straight away.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Get hold of that. Haddock and pony.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55'This was early doors. This was so early doors, wasn't it?'
0:09:55 > 0:09:58We didn't really know each other that well.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Discovering each other's bodies and our own bodies and stuff.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05You know what I mean.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I do. Just trying to get into that flow.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13'Here she is. Look at her! Maddy Hill. I know. Look at that baby.'
0:10:15 > 0:10:19Why I, Nancy Carter... Why I, Nancy Carter...
0:10:19 > 0:10:23'The show feels different doing anything on location.'
0:10:23 > 0:10:24There's a different vibe to it.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Because we're not in our usual environment. No.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32No, so everyone has a little panic. All the Pat bollocks and all that.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36Sorry I've sworn. I do apologise. Don't apologise, it's who you are.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Just being with a mate. It's who you are, honey.
0:10:38 > 0:10:45..why I, Wayne Ladlow, may not be joined in matrimony to Nancy.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Oh, even that winds me up now.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Nancy!
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Dad. No offence, Wayne.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55It's just, you know, your attitude. What are you talking about, bruv?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57What are you doing? Dad, get off me!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Get off of me!
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Put me down.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04PEOPLE SHOUT
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Put me down!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08I can remember filming that and thinking that was so cod,
0:11:08 > 0:11:10like, as if we could hold them back,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13just stick a broom handle through, and...
0:11:13 > 0:11:15You soon realise you're in a soap, you know what I mean?
0:11:15 > 0:11:18It's not a disrespectful thing, but it's a totally different world.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Fascist!
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Because there's no arc within your characters on a soap,
0:11:25 > 0:11:27because you don't know where it's going,
0:11:27 > 0:11:29what we've got to do is, if you come in, you've got to hit
0:11:29 > 0:11:32the ground running, and you've got to get on as people.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34For me, that's what's been the success of the Carters.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Was the fact that you and I and Sam and Maddy were so close so quickly.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40We did get close, totally.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44I didn't have to audition so they brought me in at a mad time.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Who's the geezer you done a screen test with? SHE LAUGHS
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Don't get jealous cos I had to screen test with someone else.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Handsome geezer, wasn't it? Where is he now, the geezer? Don't know.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Probably snogging some other really, really fit bird.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Probably putting the cones out outside where people can park.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Where was his mum? I know they do things different,
0:12:01 > 0:12:04but how could he have a wedding without his own mother there, Nancy?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07What is your future? Get yourself stuck with a ponce like that.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09You do know there are laws to stop people like you?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11'I think I've done 300 episodes.'
0:12:11 > 0:12:14I've no idea how many I've done now. It's crazy, isn't it?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is crazy.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17BEEP!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19# ..a doctor
0:12:19 > 0:12:22# I need a doctor
0:12:22 > 0:12:24# Doctor
0:12:24 > 0:12:30# To bring me back to life... #
0:12:30 > 0:12:34The wedding day? Yeah. Tanya and Greg's.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36What is it? Tanya and Greg's, do you remember? No.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38LAUGHTER
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Dad!
0:12:43 > 0:12:44SHE SCREAMS
0:12:47 > 0:12:49SHE SCREAMS
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Oh! Oh, that's good.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58I brought my family along to watch the car crash.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Good family day out. "Come on, kids!"
0:13:00 > 0:13:03They loved it. Cheaper than the zoo.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Do you remember the first car, though? With this stunt,
0:13:08 > 0:13:10they only had two cars throughout the whole day.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13And then they had to do pick-up shots or whatever,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15and the first car they done, and the whole top of it came off,
0:13:15 > 0:13:19so they only had one car. And they had dummies in there, didn't they?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21They had dummies sitting there, like...
0:13:23 > 0:13:26I've only got a head scratch. Done good.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Dad, please, no! Dad! Dad!
0:13:29 > 0:13:31'Oh, you are good, Lorna.'
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Aw... You are good, ain't you? Oh, that was so embarrassing, though.
0:13:35 > 0:13:36I remember just all those people.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Remember there's a huge estate opposite?
0:13:39 > 0:13:43And people hanging off the balconies, being like that.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45They had to keep shouting to them to shut up
0:13:45 > 0:13:48cos they kept shouting out, "Max, Max!" "Abbey!"
0:13:48 > 0:13:50It's, like, "Cut." Yeah!
0:13:50 > 0:13:51# I guarantee you'll miss me
0:13:53 > 0:13:55# Cos you changed the way you kiss me... #
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Must be nice having no plans so you can just fiddle with junk all day.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02The sun's never shining on you, Carol, is it?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Why don't you put your umbrella down sometime
0:14:04 > 0:14:06and realise it's not raining.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Yeah!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12David. Oh, my gosh.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13I love him.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16You know, there's lunch for you and Liam, you know,
0:14:16 > 0:14:17if you're interested.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22And, if I did stay, I'd have to return the favour.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25'The first thing I said to him as he walked down the corridor,'
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I said, "I'm ever so sorry, I can't talk to you,
0:14:28 > 0:14:29"I've got tuna in my mouth."
0:14:29 > 0:14:31All those years to say something to David Essex,
0:14:31 > 0:14:34and he went, "Oh, all right." And walked off.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37I can't believe I said it, I couldn't talk to him.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40'I knew I was going to kiss David Essex, and I loved David Essex.'
0:14:40 > 0:14:43I mean, he must know now, I've said it enough times, I didn't say when
0:14:43 > 0:14:46he was here cos I didn't want to sound like a blooming stalker.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49He was the first man in my bedroom.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50I had him on a wall.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I had all his things, I even screamed at him at the BBC,
0:14:53 > 0:14:56'and the security guards pulled me away.'
0:14:56 > 0:14:59I know what it's like carrying a family.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Lifting the spirits, keeping the peace. Takes a lot out of you.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Sometimes you forget to have fun.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11Yeah, well, there's not a lot of fun in my life.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13There could be.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Could there? 'I did this thing to myself.'
0:15:15 > 0:15:21I remember being outside and going, "Now, don't give your power away.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23"When he kisses you, it'll be OK."
0:15:23 > 0:15:27"Just be..." Going in and being sort of, like, "OK, what do we do?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29"We just kiss?"
0:15:29 > 0:15:31And, at the end of it, at the end of that, he said,
0:15:31 > 0:15:34"If you like, you can kiss me for a little bit longer."
0:15:34 > 0:15:37I didn't kiss him for very long, I don't think.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Look!
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Yes, there could be.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Look. Watch your look as you turn away. I know, look.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56He phoned me in Tesco's not long after that on my phone,
0:15:56 > 0:15:59and I remember going, I wanted to say to everybody,
0:15:59 > 0:16:03"It's David Essex. He's phoning me." That was just sheer joy.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04I'm glad he left, though,
0:16:04 > 0:16:06cos my husband was starting to get a little bit worried.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Was he? No, he wasn't.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14SHE SIGHS
0:16:14 > 0:16:17David Essex... Look.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22# A room full of sadness
0:16:23 > 0:16:25# A broken heart... #
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Why have you broken up with Masood?
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Because I didn't think it was
0:16:32 > 0:16:35fair to him in the circumstances.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36What circumstances?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I've got breast cancer, darling.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46Oh, Mum... Listen, listen, I'm all right, I'm OK. I'm so sorry.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47I know. Come here.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50'Doing that cancer story with Carol was so painful.'
0:16:50 > 0:16:53They'd have all that research, and all that stuff,
0:16:53 > 0:16:54and then you have to play the moment.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58And then you'd have to be in the moment to know how you may
0:16:58 > 0:17:00feel or not feel.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03And that... All that that she's been trying to hold together
0:17:03 > 0:17:07and the person that she has to let go is when she sees you.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09"HALLELUJAH" PLAYED ON GUITAR
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Oh!
0:17:17 > 0:17:19# It goes like this
0:17:19 > 0:17:22# The fourth, the fifth
0:17:22 > 0:17:26# The minor fall, the major lift
0:17:26 > 0:17:29# The baffled king
0:17:29 > 0:17:35# Composing Hallelujah... #
0:17:35 > 0:17:38BIANCA: 'She needs someone she can depend on.'
0:17:38 > 0:17:41She can depend on us. Yeah?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48That makes me cry. I know. That makes me feel really emotional.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Rebecca, what's the matter, darling? Have you stopped? No.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55Oh, Mum. Come here.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02SHE CRIES OUT
0:18:02 > 0:18:04'It's really, really hard to go home
0:18:04 > 0:18:07'and not take all of that stuff with you.'
0:18:07 > 0:18:10I had to try and really go, "Lindsey's well.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14"This is Carol who's not well but Lindsey's good." You know.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Cos physically all your body... I mean, after something like this,
0:18:18 > 0:18:22when you've cried all day, I have to say you do age a bit.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25You start to have these jowls.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Pin them up.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30# I'm gonna find a way to make you mine
0:18:30 > 0:18:35# Don't stop doing what you're doing... #
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Oh, no. Yes!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44'This is one of my best days ever.'
0:18:44 > 0:18:47'Look at my derby all hanging out!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49'Oh, look, you've got Matt.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52'All young. He had been eating broccoli for six weeks. He had.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54'Yet I still nicked the scene.'
0:18:54 > 0:18:55SHE LAUGHS
0:18:55 > 0:18:58What's he doing? Come on, Dad! You've got it!
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I can do it for you, Mick, if your bottle's gone.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07'Read it, and go, OK, I get all this dark stuff
0:19:07 > 0:19:09'about me being fearful of water.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13'Are we really going to do a storyline about me doing a length?'
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Come on, Dad, you can do this. Come on, you know you can.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17SHE LAUGHS Oh, God!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I had six weeks. I could have got in shape.
0:19:19 > 0:19:25And if anything, I ate more, drank more, smoked more, got hairier.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Well, I don't know how you get hairier. Can you get hairier?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Probably. You can. Yeah.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34'It's weird when you're an actor and you look at yourself.'
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Vanity creeps in. But you never see the back of yourself.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41No, you're right. You're right, you're right.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42'Here we go, here we go.
0:19:42 > 0:19:48'Oh, no, dear! Dear, dear, dear! Oh!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52'You're gorgeous.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57First, people were taking the piss out of me on Twitter and stuff
0:19:57 > 0:20:00because I was known for being a hard man
0:20:00 > 0:20:02and this Football Factory stuff
0:20:02 > 0:20:04and all of a sudden, I can't do a width.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07And then they started to get into it a little bit and they were all
0:20:07 > 0:20:10rooting for me and cheering me on when I've done a length.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13'I've got to say, it's quite hard if you can swim to swim like you can't.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16'To pretend that you can't swim. You've got to flap about.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19'You did an excellent impression of flapping about.'
0:20:19 > 0:20:21I was shattered at the end of it,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23I was shattered. I'd used up so much energy.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I thought I'd have done a bit of weight, to be honest,
0:20:25 > 0:20:28but I got out and I just looked fatter.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Quite cute, yeah. You hold your nose before you jump in.
0:20:35 > 0:20:36I know, I know!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Was that a character thing? That was a character thing. Of course it was.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43The jumping in was fine.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46What wasn't fine was then having to be dried off
0:20:46 > 0:20:49and jumping in again because they didn't get cameras on us.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54'I wanted to be part of that family when I watched this.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56'I wanted to be Linda Carter for real.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59'We almost brought the Disney Channel to EastEnders!'
0:20:59 > 0:20:59SHE LAUGHS
0:20:59 > 0:21:02You were like a big furry seal.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09That is the loveliest thing you've ever said to me! Oh, dear.
0:21:12 > 0:21:18All right, baby. I thought I'd whip out... I thought I'd treat you.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Thanks! That's a bit of you, I think.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Look, you love a bit of lunch. A bit of cod. I know.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28I'm just going to put my chips on my barbie, I think.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30God, this is enormous.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34I know! I'm talking about the fish, dear.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35I'm talking about the fish.
0:21:35 > 0:21:42Pizzas up. All right, we're still on EastEnders, are we?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46EastEnders is on!
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Oh, look at that! Right, go on.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53# I don't care what they say
0:21:53 > 0:21:55# I'm in love with you... #
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I'm all right for a minute. You always do this!
0:21:58 > 0:21:59Oh, look, here we go, DVD.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00'Oh, the big one.'
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Bradley! Whose writing's that? That's yours, isn't it, Lauren?
0:22:04 > 0:22:07"Bradley, from Lauren." No, wait, that's not for Bradley.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08It's a mistake. It's got his name on it.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Yeah, but it's wrong. I need to take it back.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Is that what I think it is? Is that the wedding video?
0:22:16 > 0:22:19It's a mistake. You don't want to see it. I do, I do!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It doesn't matter what it's like. It's a lovely present.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Here you are, stick it on.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Really well-written, well directed.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28The acting was a bit dodgy sometimes.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30I'm talking about me, obviously.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Eurgh!
0:22:34 > 0:22:37That's a nice start. 'I was watching this at home.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39'Obviously I was a viewer back then.'
0:22:39 > 0:22:41I was literally at the edge of my seat, like,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43"This cannot be happening."
0:22:43 > 0:22:46It was such good TV. It's a classic EastEnders Christmas.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48It's a great honour, isn't it,
0:22:48 > 0:22:50to have a Christmas story on EastEnders. Yeah.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53It's part of British life, isn't it, really?
0:22:53 > 0:22:54It's what everyone talks about.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57"And then we'll watch EastEnders on Christmas Day."
0:22:57 > 0:23:00My mum does it, we all do it. Yeah.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04It's not just the sex that makes the honeymoon.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07CHEERING
0:23:07 > 0:23:11So awkward, isn't it, when it comes up? Yeah! So good, though.
0:23:11 > 0:23:12So cringey!
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Here we go. Yeah, that bit.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22'Oh, penny dropped. Oh!'
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Too cringey!
0:23:25 > 0:23:28It's got to happen in front of the whole family as well, hasn't it?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Right, let's watch the Queen's speech.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Let's watch the rest of this later. No, that's boring!
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Pass the remote please, Brad.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Brad!
0:23:36 > 0:23:40It's such good TV, isn't it? Yeah! We're not talking.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I was enjoying that.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Because the stupid, crazy thing is I still love you.
0:23:49 > 0:23:54I'm married now. What, you think all this is just going to go away? Yeah.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01So long as you're sure you made the right choice.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07As long as you're sure.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16'He's been found out, hasn't he? No! Oh, dear. This is so awkward.'
0:24:19 > 0:24:21That is so bad. Oh!
0:24:42 > 0:24:45EASTENDERS DUFF-DUFFS Oh! Aaaah!
0:24:51 > 0:24:54What's wrong? It's Billie.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Look, whatever he's done, I'll deal with it later.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Mum...
0:25:01 > 0:25:03..he's dead.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07He's dead.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Oh, gosh!
0:25:09 > 0:25:12She was fantastic. That was very powerful.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19'Jennie Darnell shot that beautifully
0:25:19 > 0:25:21'and gave us the time, didn't she?'
0:25:24 > 0:25:27It was so difficult to play and what I wanted to do
0:25:27 > 0:25:30and Jenny and I spoke about
0:25:30 > 0:25:34was that I wanted it to be like this is in a goldfish bowl.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38I felt like my legs were just going to buckle and...
0:25:38 > 0:25:40And Jennie, she's executed that.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42And she's done it beautifully
0:25:42 > 0:25:45and then that powerful shot at the door
0:25:45 > 0:25:48when actually she's trying to find keys.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53DOOR OPENS
0:25:56 > 0:25:58And that silence when Sid opens the door
0:25:58 > 0:26:00and just that powerful moment...
0:26:02 > 0:26:07I'm exhausted by that. I'm exhausted thinking about it again.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12That...
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Where is the Carol Jackson I used to know? Please don't make me...
0:26:26 > 0:26:29You can! Please don't make me!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32You want to leave him on his own?
0:26:32 > 0:26:37HE LEFT ME!
0:26:37 > 0:26:40'The thing about any performance or doing anything
0:26:40 > 0:26:43'and you know this, it's like trying to find the truth.'
0:26:43 > 0:26:46You've got to know your lines inside out
0:26:46 > 0:26:51so that every thought is a new thought that comes into your head.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53So it's a Carol thought
0:26:53 > 0:26:58so every word that you said is an authentic voice and word.
0:26:58 > 0:27:03That's probably the best thing I feel I've done ever, to be honest.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06SHE WAILS
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Oh...
0:27:22 > 0:27:25INDISTINCT CHATTER
0:27:27 > 0:27:29I'll keep it brief.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Thank you, my amazing family, for throwing me this party.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37'Well, this is us at our happiest moment, wasn't it,'
0:27:37 > 0:27:38and it's all just...
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Have you got a fork there, by the way? There's a fork, babe.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43'Thanks very much.'
0:27:43 > 0:27:45It means so much to have you all here.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47'This was the episode... What goes wrong about it?
0:27:47 > 0:27:50'I go upstairs and I say, "I want another baby." I go the other way.
0:27:50 > 0:27:53'You go the other way and I get the huff with you
0:27:53 > 0:27:55'and you have to make it up to me.'
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Hope you have a good night and feel free to give us a song.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00I thought this was your singing bit.
0:28:00 > 0:28:01It's sort of a laugh and joke
0:28:01 > 0:28:03and it's me walking out as Posh Spice.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06This one's for you on your birthday.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08'I loved my outfit.'
0:28:08 > 0:28:10I loved my outfit. You did look strong there, to be fair.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12# You used to be my only enemy... #
0:28:12 > 0:28:15'That was when he sang, he was dreading this, wasn't he?'
0:28:15 > 0:28:18# Catch me in places that I know I shouldn't be
0:28:20 > 0:28:22# Every other day, I cross... #
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Is this another one of my favourite days?...
0:28:24 > 0:28:26It's like a whole different era
0:28:26 > 0:28:29of us being here when he was here. I know!
0:28:29 > 0:28:35# Back then, I didn't know why
0:28:35 > 0:28:39# Why we were misunderstood... #
0:28:41 > 0:28:45And, of course, the introduction of Danny boy.
0:28:45 > 0:28:50He got thrown in at the deep end, to be fair. I know, I love him.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52'I love my hair in this one.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54'Look at me, I walked out in a Posh Spice wig.'
0:28:54 > 0:28:59Look at you all! I'm trying to be Posh and all.
0:28:59 > 0:29:02In fact, I wonder if Victoria Beckham had ever seen that.
0:29:02 > 0:29:06I'm really good friends with Emma Bunton.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08I could ask her if she saw it.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10See what she made of it all
0:29:10 > 0:29:14because I think I did a better Posh than her, to be honest.
0:29:15 > 0:29:20# And we'll paint by numbers till something sticks... #
0:29:21 > 0:29:23Oh...
0:29:25 > 0:29:27Oh!
0:29:27 > 0:29:29Oh, gosh!
0:29:29 > 0:29:31What you doing to her, you little toe rag?
0:29:31 > 0:29:33You want to knock a woman about, try me for size! Nan!
0:29:36 > 0:29:39Get off me! What have you done to her?
0:29:39 > 0:29:43Leave him! It ain't him!
0:29:44 > 0:29:47It comes in waves. It hurts so much.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50I'm dying! You're not dying, sweetheart.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52You're having a baby.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Ah! You know what...
0:29:55 > 0:30:00Where was your mum? Was I in Balham?
0:30:01 > 0:30:05I'm not having a baby! I can't be! You're wrong!
0:30:05 > 0:30:08I remember getting all the research for it
0:30:08 > 0:30:13and a lovely nurse was on set with us. Oh, you did that brilliantly!
0:30:13 > 0:30:16Did you win an award for that? I did.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Go on, girl. Scream the house down!
0:30:18 > 0:30:20At the top of your voice, good girl!
0:30:20 > 0:30:22I didn't know!
0:30:22 > 0:30:26If your school had a sex education teacher, they should sack him!
0:30:26 > 0:30:27It was lovely, actually,
0:30:27 > 0:30:30having all the women there cos they'd just moved in.
0:30:30 > 0:30:34The Slaters hadn't been there long, but it was lovely. And Mo.
0:30:34 > 0:30:39Look at Mo. She was brilliant, she was so good. She is so, so...
0:30:39 > 0:30:43It was really nice to have an older lady there at that time.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45And then we kept that connection.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Go on, girl, push! Give it some welly!
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Push! I can see the head!
0:30:49 > 0:30:51SHE SCREAMS
0:30:56 > 0:31:00I've never been worried about getting stuff out
0:31:00 > 0:31:05and I remember they kept pulling my nightie down
0:31:05 > 0:31:07and I kept saying, "No, it'd be up more."
0:31:07 > 0:31:10And I know you have to be careful, but I always remember saying
0:31:10 > 0:31:13that it's got to be here and sort of wetting my legs
0:31:13 > 0:31:16because that's real, isn't it?
0:31:16 > 0:31:18BABY CRIES
0:31:20 > 0:31:23Oh, that's really powerful. That was good. It was good to do.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26I always remember June turning round to me and saying,
0:31:26 > 0:31:31"When you do it, darling, just pretend you're pooing out a melon."
0:31:31 > 0:31:33You'll be fine.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36# Unconditional
0:31:36 > 0:31:38# Unconditional... #
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Here, Dad.
0:31:41 > 0:31:42What do you think of Whitney?
0:31:44 > 0:31:47Yeah, she's nice. She's fit!
0:31:47 > 0:31:49I said she could come round for Sunday lunch one weekend?
0:31:51 > 0:31:52Great, yeah.
0:31:52 > 0:31:53'Oh, we've gone right back.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55'We have gone back, haven't we, baby?
0:31:55 > 0:31:57'I loved this scene.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59'I thought you were both incredible
0:31:59 > 0:32:03'and actually this is when I thought you were a good actor.'
0:32:03 > 0:32:05You know what Nancy was saying?
0:32:06 > 0:32:08You know, about you being gay?
0:32:09 > 0:32:11I just wanted to say...
0:32:13 > 0:32:14..if she wasn't lying...
0:32:16 > 0:32:18..that it would be OK.
0:32:18 > 0:32:19His little face. I know.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21'You wouldn't be upset?'
0:32:21 > 0:32:25I know that being gay, it's not a choice.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28'As an actor, I think I changed the perception'
0:32:28 > 0:32:30there was of me as a human being,
0:32:30 > 0:32:34for someone to come out to someone of what I'm meant to represent.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38And you know you can tell me anything.
0:32:38 > 0:32:39I just want you to know...
0:32:41 > 0:32:43..you can tell me anything.
0:32:44 > 0:32:48Because you're my son and you mean the world to me.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54HE CRIES
0:32:54 > 0:32:58You and Sam in this scene are so on the money.
0:33:00 > 0:33:01I... I'm gay.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09Stop it, stop it. Stop it, you're going to start me off in a minute.
0:33:09 > 0:33:14It's all right. It's all right, I love you, boy. I love you.
0:33:14 > 0:33:21It's so simple. Yeah. On the settee, he tells me and it's like, "And?
0:33:21 > 0:33:23"So what? Come here."
0:33:23 > 0:33:28I'm so proud of you because I know what you just told me.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31'No-one gets murdered, no big storyline leading up to it.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33'It was brilliant, it was brilliant, it was brilliant.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35'So simple and that's what I thought,
0:33:35 > 0:33:38'"Hold on a minute, actually, I'm proud to be in this show."'
0:33:38 > 0:33:41So, you're the one we should have called Nancy.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43SHE LAUGHS
0:33:43 > 0:33:46It's going to be all right, all right?
0:33:46 > 0:33:49OK? I promise you. Good boy.
0:33:49 > 0:33:50'Oh, look!
0:33:52 > 0:33:56'Oh, dear. Linda Carter, she did not cope with it well, did she?'
0:33:56 > 0:34:00I love Linda Carter, but she gets it very, very wrong sometimes.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02Cos I thought I was going to get a lot of, like,
0:34:02 > 0:34:06from all the old-school mob, going, "What you doing, playing that?
0:34:06 > 0:34:09"I can't believe..." Well, I did have a few homophobic tweets.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11I absolutely assassinated them on Twitter.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13I thought, "I'm not having this." Yeah, yeah.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15And I think I dealt with it in the right way
0:34:15 > 0:34:17cos this changed a lot of people's lives
0:34:17 > 0:34:19and I still get letters to this day from...
0:34:19 > 0:34:22They don't even want an autograph, which is a bit upsetting.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24They just want to tell me their story
0:34:24 > 0:34:25and say, "Look, thank you."
0:34:25 > 0:34:29And that is better than any dough or award you could ever win.
0:34:29 > 0:34:31Yeah, absolutely.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Oh...
0:34:43 > 0:34:45Sonia?
0:34:45 > 0:34:49# Bright eyes... # THEY LAUGH
0:34:49 > 0:34:51# You make me feel better
0:34:51 > 0:34:54# So let's stay together... #
0:34:57 > 0:34:59This will make you laugh. Whitney saw me heading out.
0:34:59 > 0:35:03She thought I was going for a date. A date?!
0:35:05 > 0:35:07You're not on a date, are you?
0:35:07 > 0:35:09Haha, no!
0:35:09 > 0:35:12But that's good, anyway, cos I'm rubbish at all that dating. Yeah.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15Talking about yourself. "Hello, I'm Billy.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18"I like West Ham, watching telly,
0:35:18 > 0:35:21"going down the pub and eating chips."
0:35:21 > 0:35:25Yeah. "Hello, my name is Carol. I like, er..."
0:35:26 > 0:35:29Don't tell anyone. I quite like Harry Potter.
0:35:31 > 0:35:32So random!
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Best book I've read in years!
0:35:34 > 0:35:35I thought I was the only one who did that.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37I used to hide it.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Did you? I don't care who knows.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41I LIKE HARRY POTTER!
0:35:41 > 0:35:44There's a lot of you in there. Loads of me.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47You're just laughing cos you're working with Perry.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Billy, Carol, I'm just picking up Les's battered sausage.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52The usual, Jo, please.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54THEY LAUGH
0:35:54 > 0:35:58Come on, then. Are you two on a date?
0:35:58 > 0:36:00No, no, no, we're just two friends having a few drinks.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03Yeah, talking about Harry Potter and The Bay City Rollers.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Do you know the story about the end of that? No.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09I was so embarrassed cos I've known Perry since I was about 18
0:36:09 > 0:36:15and we were embarrassed because we're just really nice friends
0:36:15 > 0:36:18so the idea of kissing your friend is bizarre.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21So I was really nervous and really worried.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25I don't know what he was doing, but I couldn't talk to him and then...
0:36:25 > 0:36:28So, just before the kiss, we were eating the sausages
0:36:28 > 0:36:29and, because I was so nervous,
0:36:29 > 0:36:32I literally put such a huge amount of chips in my mouth
0:36:32 > 0:36:35and then I grabbed him and kissed him.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37You know what? What?
0:36:40 > 0:36:42Oh...
0:36:42 > 0:36:46Ooh-hoo! I've known Perry too long to be kissing him.
0:36:47 > 0:36:51And he went, "You've got chips in your mouth."
0:36:51 > 0:36:55'I had to keep texting him, going,'
0:36:55 > 0:36:57"I'm so sorry, that's such a horrible thing to do."
0:36:57 > 0:36:58I can see a lot of me.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01You're saying you can see Lindsey - I can see Lindsey in this.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04Cos you're relaxed and not really worrying about stuff.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06How do you laugh as somebody else as well?
0:37:06 > 0:37:08Because my laugh is quite distinctive, isn't it,
0:37:08 > 0:37:12so, if you did a different laugh, you wouldn't be true, would you?
0:37:12 > 0:37:14No, you wouldn't be being true.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Ho-ho-ho-ho! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:37:30 > 0:37:34DOOR CLOSES Oh, you made me jump!
0:37:34 > 0:37:37I didn't think we had any, but I found some hiding...
0:37:37 > 0:37:38Dean, what're you doing?
0:37:38 > 0:37:40What do you think I'm doing?
0:37:40 > 0:37:43Don't. Relax! STOP IT!
0:37:43 > 0:37:47It's OK, everyone's downstairs.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51No, Dean, I'm serious! Please, no!
0:37:51 > 0:37:52No, no! Ssh!
0:37:54 > 0:37:57It's horrible to watch that, for me and for you.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02What I really remember about this episode
0:38:02 > 0:38:07and filming it with Matt was how nervous he was. Yeah.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Because it was harder for him.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12I really do think it was harder for him in a way, because...
0:38:12 > 0:38:13Well, let's be fair,
0:38:13 > 0:38:16he came into the show not knowing this was going to happen. Yeah.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22This is when it all changed, wasn't it? This is when you could really...
0:38:22 > 0:38:27This is horrific. But, as an actress, it's a gift for you.
0:38:27 > 0:38:32Oh, yeah.... This is about you now shifting, a major shift.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34I'm done with Dean, by the way.
0:38:35 > 0:38:36He seemed a lot calmer. What?
0:38:36 > 0:38:39'It actually made me realise'
0:38:39 > 0:38:43how much being in a show like EastEnders,
0:38:43 > 0:38:47how many people it reaches and what effect you can have
0:38:47 > 0:38:51on people's lives just by being in a television programme
0:38:51 > 0:38:54and what that can... Do you know what I mean? It's not...
0:38:54 > 0:38:56We're not politicians or anything else,
0:38:56 > 0:39:01but you can make a little bit of a difference and you can change
0:39:01 > 0:39:04people's perceptions of things and it's very powerful.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06It's one of the things I'm most proud of, this episode.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08Get it off.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11# Don't stop moving
0:39:11 > 0:39:13# Keep it up... #
0:39:13 > 0:39:17Sonia Jackson! CHEERING
0:39:24 > 0:39:28# Do you, do you, do you Do you feel the power? #
0:39:28 > 0:39:30I was 12. Natalie, look!
0:39:31 > 0:39:34I couldn't do that now, isn't it funny?
0:39:34 > 0:39:36'You've no fear, have you, when you're younger?
0:39:36 > 0:39:40'You've always been such a confident actress.'
0:39:40 > 0:39:43When you were first here, I would always say this to you,
0:39:43 > 0:39:45you would literally say to the director,
0:39:45 > 0:39:46they'd say, "Any more questions?"
0:39:46 > 0:39:50And you'd go, "Yes, I have a question." We'd all go, "Oh!"
0:39:50 > 0:39:53And you always had a question and you would ask the right question.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55I was always very confident.
0:39:55 > 0:39:56I still am quite confident.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58Your daughter is as well.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00It could be related, couldn't it? It could be.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02# I'll tell you straight up... #
0:40:05 > 0:40:07Oh, look, me!
0:40:08 > 0:40:13I think now, that would make me nervous now,
0:40:13 > 0:40:14doing something like that.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17So, how was it to be that young and to be
0:40:17 > 0:40:20where you are now in terms of...? You just...
0:40:20 > 0:40:27I see it as two sides to every coin, but, for me, it's just my job.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29Yeah. And I've never been desperate for it.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31I was just fortunate and it happened.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35To me, it's just like being a banker
0:40:35 > 0:40:37or being a plumber and I just did it.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39You did, but you didn't just do it.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42I have to say, being an adult and watching it,
0:40:42 > 0:40:45you did actually have a method and a craft
0:40:45 > 0:40:48and you were interested in the craft so you didn't just show up.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50No, I was passionate about it.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52Once I got it, then I grabbed it with both hands
0:40:52 > 0:40:53and really enjoyed it.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57# ..I picked myself off the floor... #
0:40:57 > 0:40:59My God, you're a great mover!
0:41:07 > 0:41:09Excuse me, Labour? Just round to the left.
0:41:09 > 0:41:12I'm a hero in this. You ARE a hero. Hero.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14Let's find that baby's heartbeat.
0:41:15 > 0:41:20I've given birth before, but it was slightly comedy. This was proper.
0:41:20 > 0:41:21Where is she? She's in there.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24I remember you took your contacts out and everything. I did.
0:41:24 > 0:41:28'You were blind. I had to have my glasses on in between.'
0:41:28 > 0:41:32I'm Nick, I'm going to be the baby's father.
0:41:32 > 0:41:33You couldn't see that was me.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36She thought that was Phil, didn't you? Stop it!
0:41:36 > 0:41:38I'm sorry! No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
0:41:38 > 0:41:40'I remember really looking forward to this.'
0:41:40 > 0:41:42How can you look forward to this?! I was!
0:41:42 > 0:41:45I was like, "Yeah, I can't wait to get my teeth into that."
0:41:45 > 0:41:47And you BLEEP did, didn't you?
0:41:47 > 0:41:49Look at your legs up in the air.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51Well, you can't give birth with your legs crossed.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54Some actresses would go, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to open my legs.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57"And could somebody put some base on me, some make-up?
0:41:57 > 0:42:00"And I refuse to sweat."
0:42:00 > 0:42:05'You're just like, "Right, whack my hair up," as you would do.'
0:42:05 > 0:42:08Babe, you're beautiful. Look at me.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11'I take control of the situation as I come in the room. Yeah.'
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Most women would go, "What have you done to me?!"
0:42:16 > 0:42:21Ready? On the next one, on the next one. Push.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24'You had smoke coming out of your ear hole.'
0:42:24 > 0:42:27So many women wanted me to be their birthing partners after this.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30Stop it! They did, yeah.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32This is a new start for me and you, baby, I promise you.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35I promise you, OK? Now, give us a life. Here we go.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38We'll start a new little life, baby.
0:42:38 > 0:42:41LINDA SCREAMS IN PAIN
0:42:41 > 0:42:46It actually takes me right back to when I gave birth, for real!
0:42:46 > 0:42:48It does a weird thing to me.
0:42:48 > 0:42:50Look at the vein sticking out of your nut, baby.
0:42:50 > 0:42:51They could hear you in Soho!
0:42:53 > 0:42:56I mean, it was just echoing everywhere!
0:42:56 > 0:42:59This is what I love. You're a proper actor, you,
0:42:59 > 0:43:01you don't give a BLEEP.
0:43:03 > 0:43:07'And here we go. Here we go with the baby that's not a real baby.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09'You've got to pretend it's a baby.'
0:43:09 > 0:43:11Oh, baby boy!
0:43:13 > 0:43:15'Little prosthetic thing which you weren't allowed to touch,
0:43:15 > 0:43:18'either, cos it was so much dough. Look at that!
0:43:18 > 0:43:20'It doesn't look that real, there, does it?'
0:43:20 > 0:43:23No, not really. But no, it's beautifully played, you know?
0:43:23 > 0:43:27I think if you go there, you go, "This is proper giving birth."
0:43:29 > 0:43:31Watch his little nut.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34'I've never been involved in a scene like this.'
0:43:34 > 0:43:37I don't fancy getting involved in it again.
0:43:40 > 0:43:41# No drama
0:43:41 > 0:43:44# No more drama in my life... #
0:43:44 > 0:43:46Sonia!
0:43:50 > 0:43:52What I give you is... Becky!
0:43:52 > 0:43:55Sonia! Put her down, love.
0:43:55 > 0:43:57You heard the man. I'm calling the police.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59Is that the baby you had when you were 15, then?
0:43:59 > 0:44:03Yeah, and I gave it away. Oh, you gave it away.
0:44:03 > 0:44:07And I found out where the parents were. So they adopted her.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09Yeah, and I stole her back cos I wanted her back.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11You can't take her!
0:44:11 > 0:44:15You can't! You can't take her away from me! You can't take...
0:44:17 > 0:44:19What a brilliant storyline! Yeah.
0:44:20 > 0:44:21Sonia?
0:44:21 > 0:44:24One of my favourite episodes - it's just me and June.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26Oh, it's just you and June.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29Sonia?!
0:44:29 > 0:44:31'It's so lovely watching Sonia again.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34'She's young and she's struggling without her other family.'
0:44:34 > 0:44:37She's got a nice relationship with Dot.
0:44:37 > 0:44:38What have you done? What do you mean?
0:44:38 > 0:44:40What have you done with Chloe? Chloe?
0:44:40 > 0:44:42I don't know what you mean. Where is she?
0:44:42 > 0:44:45I don't know what you're talking about! Don't lie to me!
0:44:45 > 0:44:47June came to my house for two nights or so.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50Did she, to work that through?
0:44:50 > 0:44:53We were drinking red wine and going through our lines.
0:44:53 > 0:44:57You weren't, you were 16 at the time. I was 24 at the time.
0:44:57 > 0:45:01Oh, that's right. I may have had a glass of Ribena.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03Bad influence on June.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05They told me you went round there and you took her.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07Well, I didn't, all right?
0:45:07 > 0:45:09I went round there and this nanny was there
0:45:09 > 0:45:10and she was acting weird with me
0:45:10 > 0:45:12and she wouldn't let me in so I came home.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15Oh, you came home? Yes, I was upset. I went to bed.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17So, why was the door locked? I don't know.
0:45:17 > 0:45:20I must have locked it on the way in. They told me that you took her.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23They're wrong. Why don't you get out there and you explain? What's that?
0:45:23 > 0:45:26'I remember one thing I'll never forget was when she said to me,'
0:45:26 > 0:45:32"When you've got paragraphs and a lot of dialogue to do, see it as a song."
0:45:32 > 0:45:34Right, yeah.
0:45:34 > 0:45:39And always look at the melody and how you're saying it
0:45:39 > 0:45:41and look at the tones in it.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43She's fantastic, isn't she? I will never forget that.
0:45:43 > 0:45:45I've told you, she's not here! Where is she?
0:45:48 > 0:45:52She's upstairs. What's she doing up there?
0:45:52 > 0:45:55I'm going, "Well, where was Carol during all that stuff?
0:45:55 > 0:45:59"What was she doing?" That's how I felt with Billie
0:45:59 > 0:46:01when I saw that happen.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04If you haven't got the actor and they're not here,
0:46:04 > 0:46:07you have to carry on playing it. It's so lovely, I...
0:46:07 > 0:46:08So, do you promise me in the future
0:46:08 > 0:46:11if there's something really important, you'll think about it?
0:46:11 > 0:46:13When I'm 75, it will be great.
0:46:14 > 0:46:19# Why do all good things come to an end? #
0:46:19 > 0:46:23Poor Rolf! Mum, can you give him the kiss of life?
0:46:23 > 0:46:26You can't give him the kiss of life. He's all cold and stiff.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29All right, don't rub it in.
0:46:29 > 0:46:34I want to give him a funeral. OK.
0:46:34 > 0:46:38I need a coffin, rose petals...
0:46:38 > 0:46:40Oh, Rolf! The best gerbil ever.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43I'm so bad!
0:46:45 > 0:46:47SHE LAUGHS
0:46:47 > 0:46:49This is my favourite episode of all time.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51Rolf's gone to gerbil heaven.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54Yeah, I heard. Condolences.
0:46:54 > 0:46:58I'm grief-stricken. Broken-hearted.
0:46:58 > 0:47:02THEY LAUGH
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Put a plant pot on top of it.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08The foxes will dig it up, else. OK, yeah.
0:47:08 > 0:47:09Yeah, I didn't think of that.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13Thanks.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16And now we're going to sing.
0:47:16 > 0:47:17No, we're not.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21# Bright eyes... #
0:47:21 > 0:47:23THEY LAUGH
0:47:23 > 0:47:26# Burning like fire
0:47:26 > 0:47:28# Bright eyes
0:47:28 > 0:47:31# How can you close and fail? #
0:47:33 > 0:47:37My hands have gone so clammy!
0:47:37 > 0:47:40Oh! I know!
0:47:41 > 0:47:43I had to learn that. How embarrassing!
0:47:43 > 0:47:46I remember sitting there on Sunday and being like...
0:47:46 > 0:47:47# Aaaah-aaah... #
0:47:47 > 0:47:50..learning it off a CD player.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53How old are you? Ten. Aw!
0:47:53 > 0:47:55You ten there, yeah? Yeah. Cute.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58I'd hate scenes like this because you would then have to go to school
0:47:58 > 0:48:01and everyone would have watched it. And everyone would just...
0:48:01 > 0:48:04They must have said things, someone behind you at school.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07Just singing it down the corridor!
0:48:07 > 0:48:08# Burning like... #
0:48:10 > 0:48:16# I've been working on a cocktail called Grounds For Divorce
0:48:16 > 0:48:21# Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
0:48:21 > 0:48:24Oh, do you remember this? I don't remember this.
0:48:24 > 0:48:34"No, I don't, I wasn't there!"
0:48:34 > 0:48:36Come on, help me out here.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39'No, this is silly.'
0:48:39 > 0:48:41"Tanya, you're such a good mum." Oh, yeah!
0:48:41 > 0:48:43But she buried her husband alive.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49She was getting her own back, wasn't she? I suppose my Max had sort of...
0:48:49 > 0:48:52Yeah, but there's a line, isn't there? You just move on.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54You don't bury them alive.
0:48:54 > 0:48:56Yeah, some would argue he deserved it, wouldn't they, really?
0:48:56 > 0:48:58How long did it take to film it all?
0:48:58 > 0:49:01We were there three nights or something. Three nights?
0:49:01 > 0:49:04There were press running around trying to get photos of us.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07What, while you were lying in a coffin? Yeah, yeah.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09How did that feel? It was all right, it was fine.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11I don't think I'd like that. We had one day in the studio,
0:49:11 > 0:49:14two prop guys sitting on it cos I was trying to bang my way out of it.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17That was weird. Was that scary? It was all right,
0:49:17 > 0:49:19but then one of the props guys said he was freaking out.
0:49:19 > 0:49:20He got a bit scared. Did he?
0:49:20 > 0:49:22What, he got scared that you couldn't...?
0:49:22 > 0:49:24No, cos I was shouting and screaming, yeah.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26He was sitting on this coffin.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28PHONE RINGS
0:49:28 > 0:49:31"Hi, this is the Brannings..." Oh, that's probably your mum.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33Pick up, please! Hi, Dad, you won't believe what's happened.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36And I've got you a present! Tell him about my ankle!
0:49:36 > 0:49:38BEEPING He's hung up!
0:49:38 > 0:49:42Oh, Abi! What an idiot! Come on, Abi! "Abi, shut up!"
0:49:42 > 0:49:44"I'm buried alive!"
0:49:44 > 0:49:48Is this where she digs him up? Is she trying to get him up?
0:49:49 > 0:49:55He's all right. Oh, that's a bit freaky. I don't know if I like this.
0:49:55 > 0:49:57The best thing about all of this stuff
0:49:57 > 0:49:59was it was meant to be raining in all these eps,
0:49:59 > 0:50:01but when they turned the rain machine on,
0:50:01 > 0:50:04cos it was in the woods, it was too noisy.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06So I was like, "Haha!"
0:50:08 > 0:50:11All I wanted was a fresh start. I can't even have that, can I?
0:50:11 > 0:50:14'I don't know if these episodes crossed the line or not.'
0:50:14 > 0:50:17I think the cheekiest thing they did was he got buried on Good Friday
0:50:17 > 0:50:20and he got dug up on Monday.
0:50:21 > 0:50:25THEY LAUGH
0:50:25 > 0:50:27You're joking!
0:50:27 > 0:50:30No, so, yeah, it doesn't surprise me,
0:50:30 > 0:50:33but they upheld a few complaints.
0:50:33 > 0:50:34They were great episodes to film, yeah.
0:50:34 > 0:50:38I think they worked out well. I'd like to do that, though.
0:50:38 > 0:50:42It looks fun. What, bury someone? Yeah, looks fun to film. Yeah.
0:50:42 > 0:50:44You'd be good, actually, burying someone.
0:50:46 > 0:50:49HE LAUGHS
0:50:51 > 0:50:56# Why does it always rain on me? #
0:50:56 > 0:51:00Look at me. I'm pregnant, nearly 40. I'm supposed to be getting married.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02It's all such a mess.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06I'm really sorry, Mum, I didn't mean to hurt you.
0:51:06 > 0:51:07So, why didn't you talk to me?
0:51:09 > 0:51:10I couldn't.
0:51:10 > 0:51:13After that first kiss, I told him nothing could happen,
0:51:13 > 0:51:15but he just kept on. All right, all right, it doesn't matter.
0:51:15 > 0:51:17And then he arranged for me to see the flat.
0:51:17 > 0:51:20I didn't want to go, but Ricky told me that I should. Really?
0:51:20 > 0:51:23And then we were there and there was no-one else about.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25No-one around. Nothing could stop us.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28I couldn't help myself. I'm so sorry!
0:51:29 > 0:51:31Can you ever forgive me?
0:51:31 > 0:51:34Look at my eyes! It's great.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36She's going to hit you!
0:51:36 > 0:51:38'We worked really well together,
0:51:38 > 0:51:40'me and Patsy, at that point. Yeah, you did.'
0:51:40 > 0:51:42You didn't know, did you?
0:51:42 > 0:51:47He didn't tell you. Mum, please, I thought you knew!
0:51:47 > 0:51:51Just the idea that your daughter is sleeping with your fiance
0:51:51 > 0:51:55and when I watch that, I can feel the feeling that I felt.
0:51:55 > 0:51:58I felt so angry and I was so in that zone
0:51:58 > 0:52:02and I could have absolutely ripped her head off,
0:52:02 > 0:52:06which I think you can probably see here.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09I want to talk to you! What could you possibly say? I could explain.
0:52:09 > 0:52:12Well, go on, then, let's hear it.
0:52:12 > 0:52:13Mum... You should start by telling me
0:52:13 > 0:52:15what a dirty, lying little slag you are.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17Is that too close to the bone for you?
0:52:17 > 0:52:19What's going on? Stay out of this, Sonia. I'm sorry.
0:52:19 > 0:52:21It was nothing, nothing at all!
0:52:23 > 0:52:24You stay away from me!
0:52:24 > 0:52:28It was so horrible. We hit each other all the time.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30You certainly would, wouldn't you, finding that out?
0:52:30 > 0:52:32Calm down. You've got a baby to think about.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35I've asked you to leave again and again. Why won't you listen to me?
0:52:35 > 0:52:38Because you don't mean it. You want to hear what I've got to say.
0:52:38 > 0:52:39No, I don't! I don't want to hear you,
0:52:39 > 0:52:41I don't want to see your smug face!
0:52:41 > 0:52:43Now, go away!
0:52:43 > 0:52:46He was, like, he was really hard.
0:52:48 > 0:52:49Oh, my gosh!
0:52:51 > 0:52:55I look like some mechanical little being when I'm trying to...
0:52:55 > 0:52:58Look how big he is. My head was as big as his arms.
0:52:58 > 0:53:01He was such a big man.
0:53:01 > 0:53:02He could have held me up
0:53:02 > 0:53:06like I'd been on one of those little animatronic things, legs moving.
0:53:06 > 0:53:07You got the message now?
0:53:11 > 0:53:14# Not giving in... #
0:53:17 > 0:53:19..make his own sandwiches!
0:53:19 > 0:53:21'Strutting around in that red coat.'
0:53:21 > 0:53:22How long have you known me?
0:53:22 > 0:53:23Oh, here we go!
0:53:23 > 0:53:27Exactly six years and I've never lied to you, not once.
0:53:27 > 0:53:29But you see me with another guy
0:53:29 > 0:53:31and the first thought in your head is that I'm a cheat.
0:53:31 > 0:53:32The first thought?
0:53:32 > 0:53:35She's such a naggy girlfriend. I know.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38For six years, Jay, I've been your friend - through police,
0:53:38 > 0:53:40prison, and you're so moody.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42My parents hate you,
0:53:42 > 0:53:45but I didn't mind because I thought you were special.
0:53:45 > 0:53:46I thought you were a good person.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48'"Don't laugh at me!
0:53:48 > 0:53:52"Don't laugh at me with your mates!" Girl power! Yeah, girl power!
0:53:52 > 0:53:55Stop smiling! I was there for you.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57All this stuff with Ben, I was there.
0:53:57 > 0:54:01How do you repay me, by calling me a cheat? All right.
0:54:01 > 0:54:05No, it's not all right. I am NOT a cheat.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09Oh, no, you love Tamwar.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12I am a good person with a good heart and I love you.
0:54:12 > 0:54:14But if you can't see it, that's your problem,
0:54:14 > 0:54:16but you do NOT take it out on me.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19I am sick of everyone taking everything out on me.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21I am sick of it!
0:54:23 > 0:54:24'Good scene, that, isn't it?
0:54:24 > 0:54:27'I remember everyone was banging on about how good that was.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29'It just goes on and on and on and on.'
0:54:29 > 0:54:32I think this was actually the change.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34Actually, yeah, this was the start of it.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36I would have been about 15, I think, yeah.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40The first time I'd ever really got like, well, not lines,
0:54:40 > 0:54:43but, like, a big monologue in front of everyone.
0:54:43 > 0:54:47Yeah, cos Abbie had always been quiet and quite sort of...
0:54:47 > 0:54:51Yeah. She never said boo to a goose, did she? Ding-dong! "I'll get it!"
0:54:51 > 0:54:55# So I'll go before I fall to pieces... #
0:54:57 > 0:55:01I love my family. I just live for my family, that's all.
0:55:01 > 0:55:04They're all I had. And that's the problem, isn't it, Pauline?
0:55:04 > 0:55:07They have had to carry the whole weight
0:55:07 > 0:55:08and Martin is the only one left to do it now.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11She's very glam, old Sonia there, what's happened?
0:55:11 > 0:55:14And why shouldn't he? He's my son, he should look up to me.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16It was nice, working with Wendy.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18It was sometimes difficult but she just did what she did
0:55:18 > 0:55:20and you had to sort of work around that.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22I always found that quite a challenge,
0:55:22 > 0:55:25but I think we worked quite well together, looking back at it.
0:55:25 > 0:55:31I remember, God rest her soul, and I remember going to her house.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34I used to stay there and we used to have a curry or whatever
0:55:34 > 0:55:37and we used to run our lines in our pyjamas
0:55:37 > 0:55:40and I actually remember those lines and sitting at Wendy's doing those.
0:55:40 > 0:55:44Why do you hate me so much?
0:55:44 > 0:55:45Because he's not safe with you.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47He can't trust you.
0:55:47 > 0:55:52You're full of your highfalutin ideas, your career, your job,
0:55:52 > 0:55:55modern woman, always out and about. Everything's always about you.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58That's what you can't stand, isn't it?
0:55:58 > 0:56:00The fact I've got a life outside.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03I've got something I can call my own apart from my child.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06That's right because it's selfish. It's all wrong!
0:56:06 > 0:56:08And I'm in your way, aren't I? He's my son!
0:56:08 > 0:56:11And you can't share him like a normal mother? No, I can't!
0:56:11 > 0:56:14Well, that's just sick! Sick? Not as sick as you are.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16Daughter of a scrubber,
0:56:16 > 0:56:20lesbian, underage mother who gave away her own baby?
0:56:21 > 0:56:24SHE GASPS
0:56:24 > 0:56:29That's a very powerful, strong piece of work there.
0:56:29 > 0:56:32It's lovely seeing Sonia like that.
0:56:32 > 0:56:34Carol and Sonia, we're quite hitters, aren't we?
0:56:34 > 0:56:37Yeah! Got a right hook!
0:56:37 > 0:56:39# Take me to church
0:56:39 > 0:56:42# I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies... #
0:56:42 > 0:56:48There ain't a great tradition of after-dinner speaking
0:56:48 > 0:56:50in the Carter clan.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52'Merry Christmas! Oh, dear.'
0:56:52 > 0:56:54I may not get another chance.
0:56:54 > 0:56:55'That's a year ago.'
0:56:55 > 0:56:59I know, I know it is, Dan. BLEEP!
0:57:01 > 0:57:04..a good husband. Treat her like a queen.
0:57:04 > 0:57:05I mean, I think this is up there
0:57:05 > 0:57:07with one of the best Christmas eps.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11I think this is a real dark proper EastEnders Christmas, isn't it?
0:57:11 > 0:57:13It was. It was brilliant.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16Mick. Mick. Mick.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19Oh, here she is.
0:57:19 > 0:57:22'I'm reacting to the rape thing, the mother thing.
0:57:22 > 0:57:24'Yeah, I know, you just found out. The brother thing.'
0:57:24 > 0:57:25Not now. It's important.
0:57:25 > 0:57:27'Stan not being my dad.'
0:57:27 > 0:57:28Please, Mick, outside.
0:57:28 > 0:57:30'All in one go.'
0:57:30 > 0:57:32..cos you don't want him to hear what I've got to say.
0:57:32 > 0:57:36You want to keep him close! Oh, it's Dean. Just in time for coffee.
0:57:36 > 0:57:38You need to tell him the truth.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40Stay outside!
0:57:40 > 0:57:42Are you deaf? Mick...
0:57:42 > 0:57:44She said stay out. Mick, she is lying to you!
0:57:44 > 0:57:46We're sitting down cos it's about the big stunt.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49What we're gonna do, what are you going to do to him and all that.
0:57:49 > 0:57:51They turned down everything I wanted to do to him.
0:57:51 > 0:57:54I really wanted to nut him and I was only allowed three punches
0:57:54 > 0:57:56and that was winding me up.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59She's lying to you. Look at me. Look at me! She's been lying to you...
0:57:59 > 0:58:01That's when I wanted to nut him, there.
0:58:01 > 0:58:05Wanted to just give him a little cheeky nut, even a double nut. Yeah.
0:58:05 > 0:58:06Like a boom-boom!
0:58:06 > 0:58:07Mick, no!
0:58:09 > 0:58:11We had a rubber table, rubber chair...
0:58:11 > 0:58:12I know, bless him.
0:58:12 > 0:58:15And the table was cracked in the middle, wasn't it,
0:58:15 > 0:58:17so I had to throw him on a certain part.
0:58:19 > 0:58:21Mick, you're killing him!
0:58:21 > 0:58:23Please stop!
0:58:25 > 0:58:28To be fair, I think he gets off quite lightly.
0:58:28 > 0:58:31HE'S YOUR BROTHER!
0:58:36 > 0:58:39Dean is your brother.
0:58:39 > 0:58:44I think we couldn't have done any better, to be honest with you.
0:58:44 > 0:58:48# To make me feel this way
0:58:48 > 0:58:51# What a wicked thing to do... #
0:58:51 > 0:58:54No, no! What's this?
0:58:54 > 0:58:57SHE GASPS AND LAUGHS
0:59:01 > 0:59:02Who are you?
0:59:02 > 0:59:04'Night shoots. I love night shoots.
0:59:04 > 0:59:07'It feels different when you do a night shoot, doesn't it?'
0:59:07 > 0:59:08What do you want?
0:59:08 > 0:59:10I look so good as a cat, it's a joke.
0:59:10 > 0:59:14Just putting it out there. I look so good as a weeping angel, so...
0:59:14 > 0:59:15Unbelievable!
0:59:23 > 0:59:26'Is that Abi in the mask? Wait for it, wait for it!'
0:59:28 > 0:59:31THEY LAUGH
0:59:31 > 0:59:32We couldn't do that scene, could we?
0:59:32 > 0:59:35Seriously, this was probably the hardest scene
0:59:35 > 0:59:37I've ever done, this scene. In my life.
0:59:37 > 0:59:39It actually was. What, cos of laughing?
0:59:39 > 0:59:40We just couldn't cope.
0:59:40 > 0:59:43But, at the time, I had to pull up my cloak
0:59:43 > 0:59:46cos I was too short for it. She was just like...
0:59:48 > 0:59:49It was so funny.
0:59:49 > 0:59:51Oh, nothing is ever your fault, is it?
0:59:51 > 0:59:54I mean, drinking yourself stupid, running over Dad,
0:59:54 > 0:59:56telling Mum about his affair.
0:59:56 > 0:59:58It always has to be so difficult with you, doesn't it?
0:59:58 > 1:00:01You were always left this poor little victim and look at me!
1:00:01 > 1:00:02My life is worse than before!
1:00:02 > 1:00:04'This was a good scene, though.
1:00:04 > 1:00:08'I really enjoyed it, actually. When we read it, we were like, "What?"'
1:00:08 > 1:00:10John Howlett directed it and he kept being like,
1:00:10 > 1:00:13"I promise you, it will look fine." And we couldn't stop laughing.
1:00:13 > 1:00:16We were like, "I just can't see it." I remember reading it. It was weird,
1:00:16 > 1:00:18she just suddenly snaps and tries to drown her.
1:00:18 > 1:00:21It was a bit strange. But, no, it works well. Yeah, it does work.
1:00:21 > 1:00:23You never take me seriously.
1:00:23 > 1:00:29Why don't you just shut up?
1:00:29 > 1:00:30who could be a murderer...
1:00:30 > 1:00:31ABI SHOUTS
1:00:35 > 1:00:39THEY LAUGH
1:00:43 > 1:00:47Remember that? The whole table went over and it wasn't meant to.
1:00:49 > 1:00:52SHE GASPS FOR BREATH
1:00:52 > 1:00:55You were pregnant at the time, do you remember? Yeah.
1:00:55 > 1:00:57How many people had to come on set for the stunt?
1:00:57 > 1:01:00Oh, my God, it was a joke. What, cos you were pregnant?
1:01:00 > 1:01:01You don't want to put your head
1:01:01 > 1:01:04in a bowl of water when you're pregnant. I know.
1:01:04 > 1:01:06And, on one of them, I accidentally hit your nose.
1:01:06 > 1:01:09I felt it hit the table and I was like, "Oh, no!
1:01:09 > 1:01:11"Have I hurt anything?"
1:01:13 > 1:01:15'My friend's birthday was straight after this
1:01:15 > 1:01:18'and I didn't have enough time so I went as a cat.
1:01:18 > 1:01:19'Did anyone recognise you?'
1:01:19 > 1:01:22No, it was dark and they were all really drunk and like,
1:01:22 > 1:01:25"Why are you a cat?" I was just like, "Hey!"
1:01:25 > 1:01:30It's a new thing I'm trying. Yeah! I quite liked it, I liked being a cat.
1:01:30 > 1:01:33I even took a little pic in my dressing room.
1:01:36 > 1:01:38# You only get one shot
1:01:38 > 1:01:40# So make it count
1:01:40 > 1:01:43# You might never get this moment again... #
1:01:43 > 1:01:45Bradley!
1:01:45 > 1:01:46Oh! Here we go, look.
1:01:46 > 1:01:48I can't believe that's five years ago.
1:01:48 > 1:01:50I've got goose bumps.
1:01:52 > 1:01:54'I was so nervous watching it.
1:01:54 > 1:01:56'I think everyone watching it as a viewer must have been.'
1:01:56 > 1:01:58"What if something goes wrong?
1:01:58 > 1:02:01"If something goes wrong, this could ruin everything.
1:02:01 > 1:02:02"If something goes wrong, that's it."
1:02:02 > 1:02:05Stace!
1:02:05 > 1:02:08Stace, run!
1:02:12 > 1:02:14Oh, that's so sad! Bradley!
1:02:14 > 1:02:18That was Charlie Clements' last scene, do you remember?
1:02:19 > 1:02:20Bradley! Bradley!
1:02:20 > 1:02:22Bradley!
1:02:23 > 1:02:26HE CRIES
1:02:28 > 1:02:30THEY LAUGH
1:02:30 > 1:02:33In the script, it had Max being sick
1:02:33 > 1:02:36so I think we talked about putting chicken soup
1:02:36 > 1:02:40in your mouth or something, but they couldn't find a gap to do it.
1:02:40 > 1:02:41I'd been doing that all week,
1:02:41 > 1:02:44sticking my fingers down my throat and I don't think they'd seen it.
1:02:44 > 1:02:45I think they caught it on that.
1:02:45 > 1:02:48Oh, they should have cut quicker. I think so, yeah.
1:02:48 > 1:02:51It's all right, all part of the joy.
1:02:51 > 1:02:52It's definitely one of the best episodes.
1:02:54 > 1:02:57I think this works, this little wobble. Yeah, I do.
1:02:57 > 1:03:00Quite good, even with the camera going a bit...
1:03:00 > 1:03:01Yeah, I like that. It adds to it.
1:03:01 > 1:03:03But I think if it's perfect,
1:03:03 > 1:03:06people don't know they're watching a live episode. Yeah.
1:03:06 > 1:03:09Bradley didn't do it!
1:03:09 > 1:03:13He didn't do it! I know he didn't do it. It was me.
1:03:15 > 1:03:17I did it.
1:03:17 > 1:03:19I killed Archie.
1:03:19 > 1:03:22Me and Lacey found out half an hour before we went live with it. Really?
1:03:22 > 1:03:25We got a knock on the door, yeah. That's so scary.
1:03:25 > 1:03:27Did you rehearse all different endings?
1:03:27 > 1:03:30We had nine or ten different endings or something like that.
1:03:30 > 1:03:32One which I knew it wasn't going to be
1:03:32 > 1:03:35was Billy Mitchell in his underpants.
1:03:36 > 1:03:37What, being like, "I killed Archie"?
1:03:37 > 1:03:40Yeah, he comes down the Vic in his underpants and says,
1:03:40 > 1:03:43"I killed Archie"! I went, "No, it's not him."
1:03:43 > 1:03:47What were you more nervous for - Strictly or this live?
1:03:47 > 1:03:49Strictly. Really?
1:03:49 > 1:03:51Yeah, at least I'm doing a job I know what I'm half-doing there.
1:03:51 > 1:03:53To be honest, by the time we got to the lives this year,
1:03:53 > 1:03:55it was just a doddle.
1:03:55 > 1:03:58Once you do something like Strictly, it's like...
1:03:58 > 1:04:01That's just, yeah, a walk in the park. Yeah.
1:04:01 > 1:04:08# We could be heroes
1:04:08 > 1:04:09# We could be heroes... #
1:04:09 > 1:04:12Peggy! Oh, I was so jealous of this scene.
1:04:12 > 1:04:18She is the guv'nor. So, to do a scene with her, it goes two ways -
1:04:18 > 1:04:21either you melt or you go, "I'm going to show off."
1:04:22 > 1:04:25Can I help you?
1:04:25 > 1:04:28Oh, no, thanks, no, no.
1:04:28 > 1:04:30I'm not stopping.
1:04:30 > 1:04:33It's just, er, this is my boozer.
1:04:33 > 1:04:36Oh! So, YOU'RE Mick Carter.
1:04:36 > 1:04:39The one and only. And you are?
1:04:39 > 1:04:43Well, let's just say, me and her, we go back a long way.
1:04:43 > 1:04:44'She was quite nervous.'
1:04:44 > 1:04:46It helped me showing off a little bit
1:04:46 > 1:04:49because I think if she'd been really overconfident,
1:04:49 > 1:04:51I might have gone, "Oh, hold on a minute.
1:04:51 > 1:04:54"Maybe I'm not ready to be in front of Peggy."
1:04:54 > 1:04:57Well, if you're not buying, you might as well shoot off.
1:04:59 > 1:05:00I beg your pardon?
1:05:00 > 1:05:02She was the one, apparently, who called it on.
1:05:02 > 1:05:05She wanted me to say, "Get out of my pub!"
1:05:05 > 1:05:07And I thought, "How am I going to do it? I can't do it like her."
1:05:07 > 1:05:10You heard me. Get out of my pub.
1:05:11 > 1:05:15'You did it so tongue in cheek, it was brilliant.'
1:05:15 > 1:05:18You want to watch that pump on the right. It sticks a bit.
1:05:20 > 1:05:25She is the most iconic person, I feel, from the show.
1:05:25 > 1:05:29# We could be heroes Me and you... #
1:05:29 > 1:05:32To icons. Yes, to icons!
1:05:32 > 1:05:36Two icons. Mmm!
1:05:36 > 1:05:38Clever BLEEP!
1:05:38 > 1:05:41# Broken pieces
1:05:41 > 1:05:42# You pick them up
1:05:42 > 1:05:45# Don't leave me hanging, hanging... #
1:05:45 > 1:05:48What's this? Ohhhh! SHE GASPS
1:05:50 > 1:05:51This was the whole live ep, wasn't it?
1:05:51 > 1:05:53Oh, yes. This was the one.
1:05:53 > 1:05:54Just before this bit here,
1:05:54 > 1:05:57I have to wait seven minutes outside that door.
1:05:57 > 1:05:58'However it goes down,
1:05:58 > 1:06:00'I've got to walk in that boozer and deal with it.
1:06:00 > 1:06:04'Look around - I feel there is that live thing going on
1:06:04 > 1:06:06'if you look at the faces of the other people.'
1:06:06 > 1:06:09Mick? Are you all right?
1:06:09 > 1:06:11You're shaking.
1:06:11 > 1:06:13'You're meant to be quite nervy in this, anyway.
1:06:13 > 1:06:16I'm meant to be nervy cos I think I've just killed someone. Yes.
1:06:16 > 1:06:19Bring it all together with the live, it works beautifully.
1:06:19 > 1:06:23The thing is there's something... No, wait.
1:06:23 > 1:06:26To be fair, we rehearsed the BLEEP out of this.
1:06:26 > 1:06:29We did rehearse it a lot, dear, yes.
1:06:29 > 1:06:31I've loved you since I was a little girl.
1:06:32 > 1:06:34And I want you to be my husband.
1:06:36 > 1:06:37Marry me.
1:06:37 > 1:06:40Ohhh!
1:06:42 > 1:06:45Not here, L, not now. I enjoyed the live, I enjoyed being part of it.
1:06:45 > 1:06:49No, no. I wouldn't want to do it again. No more. I can't be bothered.
1:06:49 > 1:06:51I'm too lazy.
1:06:53 > 1:06:54What's the matter with me?
1:06:59 > 1:07:01Of course I'll marry you!
1:07:03 > 1:07:05I'm wondering where we go next, baby. I know, I know!
1:07:05 > 1:07:07So that's two years. It'll be the affair.
1:07:07 > 1:07:09That's the last two years.
1:07:09 > 1:07:12No, it will never be an affair. I don't think it should be.
1:07:12 > 1:07:15There'll be stuff that tests us, I don't doubt that.
1:07:15 > 1:07:17Well, we've just got married, haven't we?
1:07:17 > 1:07:19Oh, we HAVE! Yeah!
1:07:22 > 1:07:24# Let the music play
1:07:24 > 1:07:27# He won't get away... #
1:07:27 > 1:07:29That was nice, wasn't it?
1:07:29 > 1:07:31SONIA BLOWS SOME NOTES
1:07:32 > 1:07:35Awww!
1:07:38 > 1:07:40I loved that bridesmaid dress.
1:07:43 > 1:07:44THEY LAUGH
1:07:44 > 1:07:47You never could play it, could you? No.
1:07:47 > 1:07:50Time to go, Sonia, thanks, darling.
1:07:50 > 1:07:51Sonia, enough!
1:07:54 > 1:07:56Aww! Nice little family, weren't we?
1:07:56 > 1:08:00When did they tell you you were going to play a trumpet, then?
1:08:00 > 1:08:01I don't really remember.
1:08:01 > 1:08:05I just came into it and I remember a teacher coming over
1:08:05 > 1:08:07and showing me how to do it. You had a teacher?
1:08:07 > 1:08:10Showing me how to play the notes, but they always wanted it bad.
1:08:10 > 1:08:13Natalie, would you like to have a look behind the sofa?
1:08:14 > 1:08:18Oh, is there a trumpet? That means you have to play it now.
1:08:18 > 1:08:21I'll tell you a very big secret, though, which you're not going
1:08:21 > 1:08:23to like, but the real trumpet is in my father's loft.
1:08:23 > 1:08:27Oh, you pinched the trumpet? I've got the original trumpet at home.
1:08:27 > 1:08:28Don't tell anyone.
1:08:28 > 1:08:31Because I thought, if in hard times, I can eBay it.
1:08:31 > 1:08:34The amount of people that shout, "Sonia, where's your trumpet?"
1:08:34 > 1:08:35Still to this day...
1:08:35 > 1:08:39What would be brilliant, wouldn't it, is if I had some lessons now...
1:08:39 > 1:08:42And you played it really, really well? Like Acker Bilk or somebody?
1:08:42 > 1:08:45Yeah. That would be great. Doo-doo-doo-doo!
1:08:48 > 1:08:50SHE BLOWS SOME WEAK NOTES
1:08:54 > 1:08:56I can still get a noise out of it. That's very good.
1:08:58 > 1:09:01Is it hard to get a noise out of a trumpet? You have a go.
1:09:03 > 1:09:04SHE BLOWS AIR
1:09:07 > 1:09:09I rest my case.
1:09:09 > 1:09:11# Let the music play... #
1:09:11 > 1:09:14EASTENDERS DUFF-DUFFS I love hearing this.
1:09:14 > 1:09:17Yeah. Yeah.
1:09:17 > 1:09:20I find it quite comforting. It's a bit like a warm blanket.
1:09:20 > 1:09:23It's like having a sticky toffee pudding. It IS like that.
1:09:23 > 1:09:28That's that! Lovely. Put the kettle on. Glass of wine.
1:09:28 > 1:09:31Obviously, I miss working with a few people.
1:09:31 > 1:09:32THEY SNIGGER Any names?
1:09:32 > 1:09:34I can't think of any... Eh?
1:09:34 > 1:09:38Any names? Any names spring to mind? No, no names.
1:09:38 > 1:09:41We might just have to cuddle each other.
1:09:41 > 1:09:43Ganging up on me.
1:09:44 > 1:09:47It's great working with you, Danny Dyer.
1:09:47 > 1:09:51Yeah, isn't it lovely working with me? Eh? You're so lucky.
1:09:51 > 1:09:53Lucky old me! Lucky old me!
1:09:53 > 1:09:56She's a lucky little cow, she is. Oh, God! God!
1:10:21 > 1:10:23We done? I think they'll BLEEP milk that, yeah.
1:10:28 > 1:10:31MUSIC: Low Rider by War
1:10:32 > 1:10:36# All my friends know the low rider
1:10:38 > 1:10:43# The low rider is a little higher... #