14/08/2011

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Oh!

0:00:32 > 0:00:33This place!

0:00:35 > 0:00:37There's always something, isn't there?

0:00:39 > 0:00:40Mind you,

0:00:40 > 0:00:43you've seen more than your fair share.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47If only you could talk...

0:00:49 > 0:00:50BANGING ON DOOR

0:00:58 > 0:01:01- Tell him I'm not here. Tell him I'm on holiday!- What?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Lister! Light bulbs!

0:01:03 > 0:01:04SHE GASPS

0:01:10 > 0:01:12Mr Lister? Runs the market?

0:01:13 > 0:01:17- Probably red faced and out of breath cos he's been checking light bulbs. - OK.

0:01:17 > 0:01:21- No. Well, look, if you see him... - OK.- ..will you tell him that Mo says she's not here

0:01:21 > 0:01:25because she's gone on holiday? Thank you.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35WOLF WHISTLE

0:01:40 > 0:01:42- Morning.- Morning.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52WOMAN SCREAMS

0:02:00 > 0:02:01Alfie, what's the time?

0:02:06 > 0:02:07Alfie, what's the time?!

0:02:10 > 0:02:12- Alfie! - ALFIE GRUNTS

0:02:12 > 0:02:13- Get up!- What?

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Oh, my head...!

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Shenice, what are you doing...? Oh! Ow.

0:02:25 > 0:02:26You all right?

0:02:27 > 0:02:30Gizzards, I can deal with. Haggis...

0:02:30 > 0:02:36You know, I've even plucked a pheasant once, but I draw the line at long wiggly things, Billy!

0:02:38 > 0:02:39You're my witness.

0:02:39 > 0:02:44I don't care what the theme is, this is me firmly drawing a line!

0:02:51 > 0:02:52Blimey!

0:02:55 > 0:02:56What are you doing with Julie's mop?

0:02:58 > 0:03:01She's left me.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Me and Lola... we need the money.

0:03:07 > 0:03:11It was your idea - "Kat, it don't need to be a night, does it?

0:03:11 > 0:03:13"Tell you what, how about lunch hour tomorrow,

0:03:13 > 0:03:16"knees up, mother brown, cor blimey trousers."

0:03:16 > 0:03:17Oi, it was inspiring!

0:03:17 > 0:03:20- You were hammered. - Slightly, but very inspired.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22What happens if the kids keep staying up late, eh?

0:03:22 > 0:03:26- We get out of our routine. - We don't get to spend any time on our own.- I know.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29- I get cheeky. Tom gets grumpy. - But he's a Pearly King though!

0:03:29 > 0:03:33He told you that after a few rum and cokes and a free packet of pork scratchings?

0:03:33 > 0:03:36He is a man with greasy hair that likes dressing up in buttons.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40Tyler caught Eddie and Carol with their kit off on the sofa. At it hammer and tongs.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- Where will find buttons?- Kat, it's a rare business opportunity!

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Nan!- Listen... Will you watch my shirt?

0:03:45 > 0:03:50We'll just get round the Joanna, bit of pie and mash... What's there not to like?

0:03:50 > 0:03:54You need your milk, don't you? Kat, just stick the kettle on! You watch my shirt all right.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Just be careful. Kat!

0:04:09 > 0:04:13I'm quite partial to a jellied eel, and pie and mash.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- They were supposed to be in a jar. - You do it in, then.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19- I ain't doing it in! You do it in. Here. - They were supposed to be in jelly!

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- There's never just one in there. - These are going straight back.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25- I-I could do it. - Yeah, course you could(!)

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Right back. Right now.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Eels are slippery.- As soon as it stops going to answer phone.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Are you trying to kill it or give yourself a panic attack? - All right, you do it.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Yeah, all right.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38All right.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42- Dad!- Ohh.

0:04:42 > 0:04:49- You into this Pearly Kings and Cockney songs thing? - No, mate, I'm tone deaf.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Kat, has he been in?- Who, Lister?

0:04:53 > 0:04:56- Fat Elvis!- Fat Elvis?

0:04:56 > 0:05:00The word is, he's out. I'm a woman, Kat. I got a woman's needs.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Ohh. Yeah. - Give him here, I'll take him up.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09We going to practise?

0:05:12 > 0:05:17Least your grandma's trying not to make a show of you, doing it behind closed doors.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Doing what?- Hammering Eddie on the sofa with a pair of tongs.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Hammering?

0:05:23 > 0:05:25With tongs.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Sorted! I love it when a plan comes together.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35- I love it when you don't pretend you're in the A Team. - What?- What's this plan?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Tommy needs feeding, Shenice ain't been washed...

0:05:38 > 0:05:42and nobody chooses to sit round a piano and sing, even if there's been a power cut.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45I spend my whole life dodging your good ideas and...

0:05:45 > 0:05:49- And moaning, I know, all the time. - All right, moaning...

0:05:49 > 0:05:51- but this is about me and you. - Yes. What about me and you, eh?

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Ohh. Kat, I know.

0:05:55 > 0:05:59Sweetheart, I know, but we've got baby Tommy,

0:05:59 > 0:06:03Shenice. We've got half the family sleeping under the same roof. Where's the time?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05- We need to make time.- Yeah, we will.

0:06:05 > 0:06:10I promise, we will. I totally agree with you. But we've got a pub to run, that was the plan.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14We got rent to pay, we got to keep the pub afloat. Me and you, we were born to do this.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18Give me a smile. When them doors open up, we give them the old Moon magic, no matter rain,

0:06:18 > 0:06:24come shine, we put on our smiles. We give the punters what they want. Cos me and you, princess, we -

0:06:24 > 0:06:28come on, give me a smile - we are a winning team, all right?

0:06:28 > 0:06:29Yes.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Light bulbs.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34HE SIGHS

0:06:53 > 0:06:58- You got to arouse them. - I've got to learn to say no, that's what I've got to do.

0:06:58 > 0:06:59No...

0:06:59 > 0:07:02No. Thank you. No.

0:07:02 > 0:07:06No. Sorry. No, Alfie. No. I don't care if you've met the King of Buttons.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10In this kitchen, you get sausage surprise or a fishy basket, that is my limit.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14- Have you got any salt?- So it's like suffocating, this rousing?

0:07:14 > 0:07:18- I had that once with that spray-on deodorant, do you remember?- Yeah, yeah.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Should only take a couple of hours.

0:07:21 > 0:07:22No! No.

0:07:22 > 0:07:28- Thank you.- Are you having snakes for dinner?- I could cut the heads off if you want them done quicker.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Yeah, I expect you can. - That is well cruel.

0:07:31 > 0:07:35- Sometimes life is cruel, sweetheart.- Yes. Cruel...

0:07:35 > 0:07:38and extreme and...

0:07:38 > 0:07:41absolutely not the necessary reaction, thank you.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44- Jeanie...is there something you want to discuss? - <- Jean?

0:07:44 > 0:07:50Jean, I want you to meet my inspiration - the one and only King Norman.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56Oh, perfect timing! Perfect. Ooh!

0:07:57 > 0:07:59You were heaven sent!

0:08:03 > 0:08:08Kat, Kat... I'll get Tracey's rate if I cover her shift, right?

0:08:08 > 0:08:11You should get up there and sing. You love singing, go on.

0:08:11 > 0:08:16Come on now, man. It's a long, long, long, long way from the kitchen to here!

0:08:16 > 0:08:19Considerable wear and tear to the soles of me shoes.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22(Get six of Mo's light bulbs as well.)

0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Mum, please, I am not singing. - All right, Patrick, yes.

0:08:24 > 0:08:29Fine then, don't. Kat, I'll get up there, belt out Lambeth Walk. I know all the words.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33- That'll show you up. Shall I do that, shall I?- Mum!- All right.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Just cos you're on holiday, falling out with Lola every five minutes.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39She took the rise out of me in front of my boyfriend.

0:08:39 > 0:08:44Doodling pictures of Jay when you should be doing your art project? Some of us have got to work!

0:08:44 > 0:08:46What is the matter with you?

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Don't know.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53Yeah, well, whatever it is, you want to take some tablets for it.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Kids, eh?

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Just got to roll out the barrel, all right?

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Yeah. Everything's great.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11I'm great. Lola's great.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Brilliant!

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Listen, will they mind if I eat my own food while we chat?

0:09:16 > 0:09:20Only my homeopath's got a downer on wheat products.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21And gluten. And dairy.

0:09:21 > 0:09:26- I'm trying to crack this sleep thing.- Don't worry about it. I'm staff.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29- Sit yourself down and have your salad.- Thanks.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36We're practising Cockney songs.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39- We're just practising. - In here. On our own.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Won't take long. Hurry up!

0:09:47 > 0:09:49I'm a disaster magnet.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Are you?- Oh, yeah.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54Accident waiting to happen, me mother used to say.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57When you know someone's watching you, willing you to trip over...

0:09:57 > 0:10:00- You do!- Yeah! - You fall right over, don't you?

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Drop it, spill it,

0:10:02 > 0:10:05leave it in the toaster till it's burnt to a crisp!

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Let's just say Lady Luck is not a pal of mine.

0:10:07 > 0:10:13You know, my uncle dying was one of the only truly good things to ever happen to me.

0:10:13 > 0:10:18Not the actual dying bit, obviously. Course I wouldn't wish that, no.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20The passing of the crown...

0:10:20 > 0:10:24OK, three pies and mash, and one kid's fishfingers.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Did he leave you an actual crown?

0:10:27 > 0:10:32- Can they have baked beans not peas, please?- Yes, thank you, Patrick!

0:10:32 > 0:10:37Well, not an actual crown, but a lot of very interesting stuff you'd like to...

0:10:37 > 0:10:38Well, we must make a date.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40- A date?- Well, not a...

0:10:40 > 0:10:42What the hell!

0:10:42 > 0:10:47- I would love to, Norman! I would love to see your memorabilia!- Oh!

0:10:47 > 0:10:50I tell you what. Why don't you go out and meet your public

0:10:50 > 0:10:55and I'll cook you a proper Pearly dinner, and look out my calendar?

0:10:55 > 0:10:58- I...well...- Yes. Yes. I will not take no for an answer!

0:10:58 > 0:11:00CLATTERING

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Well, that is... There I go again. True to form. Par for the course.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07It's all right, Norman.

0:11:07 > 0:11:08I'd like to.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26Careful now! Go steady. You don't want to get Shaky into trouble, do you?

0:11:26 > 0:11:27And no spilling nothing.

0:11:27 > 0:11:33Shaky's got to have this lot up Poplar by seven, before they notice it's missing.

0:11:33 > 0:11:34Cheers, tiger!

0:11:36 > 0:11:39Easy now. Go on, you can see yourself out.

0:11:40 > 0:11:44Mo, what's happened to the buttons on my shirt, love?

0:11:44 > 0:11:48- Kitchen. Kat had a plan then remembered she don't do sewing. - Oh...

0:11:48 > 0:11:51What's Fat Elvis going to do when he finds out you've got a new model?

0:11:51 > 0:11:56- He'll come marching round here all macho and have a fit, Alfie. - Whatever.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58- Him and Shaky might even have a fight, all right?!- Yeah!

0:11:58 > 0:12:02Come on, girls, what you sorting out?

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Let's not fall out about it. Let's try and be grown-ups.

0:12:04 > 0:12:10I got to pretend I give a monkey's, then eat my dinner in front of an audience. Will the fun never end(?)

0:12:11 > 0:12:13You always been such a selfish prat?

0:12:13 > 0:12:18- You try sitting between your wives, before and after, talking about the weather.- I ain't got an option.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Well, count your blessings, smiler.

0:12:22 > 0:12:23Same again?

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Yeah.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Do you want one?- I'm working.- Yeah.

0:12:30 > 0:12:33Look, I'm, um... I'm sorry.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Tommy.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42It got complicated. The last... There's no excuses.

0:12:42 > 0:12:46I was out of line before Ronnie went down, I just wanted to see him, that was all.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48How sorry?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Let me just buy you a drink?

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Have you heard this?

0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Well, that's what Tiffs told Abs on the way to the toilet. - Carol and Eddie.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02- What?- And a toolbox.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10So, that's school,

0:13:10 > 0:13:14GP registration and, to update, your cousin is paying the rent now.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Yeah, yeah.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19Phil. I've got the cheque here, tenancy agreement...

0:13:19 > 0:13:23- That's very generous. That's the kind of family- I- need.

0:13:24 > 0:13:29- And you and Julie are getting some routines in place for Lola? - Thing is, Phil owed me, anyway.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32And Julie's happy with the way things are working out?

0:13:34 > 0:13:35Billy?

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Cooking doesn't get much tougher than this!

0:13:46 > 0:13:51No, that's right, John. And I am taking my inspiration

0:13:51 > 0:13:56from tradition and the fact that my great-nan was born by a bell.

0:13:56 > 0:13:57So...

0:13:57 > 0:14:00I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

0:14:08 > 0:14:12- Don't they do low fat?- They don't. I knew they didn't do low fat.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15Have you tried exfoliating first?

0:14:15 > 0:14:20No, we don't do low-fat eels and we don't do low-fat beef pies, funnily enough(!)

0:14:20 > 0:14:24- I'll just have the mash. - Yeah, I'll just have the mash. - I can't. I get a rash exfoliating.

0:14:24 > 0:14:28- No butter, no milk, no cream, though.- It must be your product.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31You don't need to watch your figure. That's what I am here for.

0:14:31 > 0:14:35And you're most probably rubbing too hard.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37I'm glad you've told me.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41I just... I just want to do what's right by Lola.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47- If I'm not the best person for her now...- Yeah.

0:14:48 > 0:14:49So, what happens now?

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Do I get a chance to say good...?

0:14:55 > 0:14:58She's had so many people walk away from her already, you know?

0:14:58 > 0:15:05You get some routines in place and you make sure she's set to start her new school.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08If Julie wasn't completely on board then maybe...

0:15:11 > 0:15:16Well, now you can focus all your efforts on your granddaughter, can't you?

0:15:20 > 0:15:24- The day after tomorrow?!- Two weeks in Mexico, Just you and me.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26- That's so romantic.- Yeah.

0:15:26 > 0:15:30It's got to have its advantages, ain't it? You and me not making babies.

0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Um, too much information, thank you. - Thank you.

0:15:33 > 0:15:38- I was looking at a month in the Seychelles for our honeymoon. - It's not a competition, V.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Ohh! It won't work.

0:15:56 > 0:15:57- It won't work!- >

0:15:57 > 0:16:03- What?- Why won't it do the decent thing, Alfie, and just stick together?!

0:16:03 > 0:16:05SHE SHRIEKS

0:16:09 > 0:16:13Oh, yes. You had to have your wits about you back then, or you'd starve.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Can't you tell Grandma Carol you couldn't find me?- Ssh!

0:16:16 > 0:16:19Dirt poor they were. Costermongers, factory workers.

0:16:19 > 0:16:24Poor people, living round here, where the water was rotten. No inside lav!

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Even the kids drank gin.

0:16:26 > 0:16:30And the rich people, they stayed up the West End, posing about in their pearls.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34- I've drunk gin.- Have you? Oh, well, anyway...

0:16:34 > 0:16:39This one road sweeper, he takes the Michael. He sews buttons -

0:16:39 > 0:16:44poor man's jewels - he sews buttons all over his raggy clothes, even the hat,

0:16:44 > 0:16:47and in the pattern he writes, "All for charity."

0:16:47 > 0:16:52And soon, every borough in London's got a Pearly King and a Queen,

0:16:52 > 0:16:56and what bees and honey they raised! It goes to the hospitals and such.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59And that is your East End inheritance.

0:16:59 > 0:17:03That is your tradition - poor people helping out their own.

0:17:03 > 0:17:08Careful, Pat - he's going to start singing "chim chiminey", dancing on the rooftops.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11- Patrick, is that grub around? - I'll check.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Anyone after light bulbs?

0:17:17 > 0:17:21- Why do bees go to hospital? - No, love. Bees and honey.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23- Money!- Cherry Hogg?- Dog.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25- Titfer?- Tat!

0:17:28 > 0:17:30I thought I told you to be home by one.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Have I got two heads, or something?

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Has he gone?

0:17:42 > 0:17:44- You what?- Lister.

0:17:54 > 0:17:55Do you think he likes me?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57I think he likes you.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00I, um... I think he could be the one, Jode.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03THEY SHRIEK AND GIGGLE

0:18:04 > 0:18:06CRYING ON MONITOR

0:18:08 > 0:18:12I never knew if that was him crying or just chatting. If you want,

0:18:12 > 0:18:15I can do a couple of pints, if you want to go and check Tommy.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18I've got enough bar staff, thanks.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Jack, come on.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30- Meet me outside.- No.- Meet me!

0:18:35 > 0:18:37HE SIGHS

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Come on.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10BABY GURGLES

0:19:26 > 0:19:30I can't remember the last time I met someone and just suddenly clicked.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34It doesn't happen often in life, Alfie.

0:19:34 > 0:19:39Tell you what, Jean. Come give us a hand with some of these dinners, then go and find out, yeah?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Good girl. You stir that for me.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47Just needs a bit more salt. Good girl, we're on it!

0:19:47 > 0:19:50I miss you.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Sorry.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10I think I'm...

0:20:10 > 0:20:12BABY GURGLES

0:20:15 > 0:20:17He's growing up, ain't he?

0:20:19 > 0:20:20You're growing up.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25I can see that from a distance.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30He's going to be a proper heart-breaker, ain't he?

0:20:34 > 0:20:36I'm sorry.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37God...

0:20:39 > 0:20:40It's all right.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44I know it's not your fault.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53She is a bad influence on my granddaughter.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57Bad influence, my foot. You heard the one about the pot and the kettle, Carol?

0:20:57 > 0:20:58I beg your pardon?

0:20:58 > 0:21:04Everyone round here knows that you and him were getting lucky in the living room.

0:21:04 > 0:21:09- Chocolate body paint! - Well, I heard a blow-up hammer and a power adaptor.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11ALL LAUGH AND SNIGGER

0:21:13 > 0:21:14Carol...

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Oi!

0:21:18 > 0:21:20DOORS CRASH OPEN

0:21:22 > 0:21:24How dare you talk about me? I...

0:21:24 > 0:21:29- How dare you tell everybody about us getting caught, like we're a teenage joke... I didn't!- I don't...

0:21:29 > 0:21:34That is just gossip, Chinese whispers. Inaccurate jealousy.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36I mean, I didn't see any body paint.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41Hey, come on. Let's have a coffee.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43- No.- Oh?

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Not today.

0:21:50 > 0:21:51Tiffany! >

0:21:57 > 0:21:59Jean, Jean. Hold on a second, sweetheart.

0:21:59 > 0:22:03Now, Norman... Look at me! Norman's going to love your pies

0:22:03 > 0:22:07cos you are a lovely lady... and you are a master chef. Go on. Go, go, go.

0:22:07 > 0:22:11- A fiver to your favourite charity. - Go on.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13- Friar Tuck. - SNIGGERING

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Luck. Good luck. Best of luck.

0:22:30 > 0:22:34I can cover the salon. If Tyler's the one, Pops, you got to stay and smile, and that.

0:22:34 > 0:22:38- Tyler's trying to pull your mum, Jode.- Ohh.

0:22:38 > 0:22:43I think Tyler's just ANOTHER one, you know?

0:22:43 > 0:22:45Oh. Like Julian?

0:22:45 > 0:22:46Like Julian.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48And Adrian.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51And Simon, really.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54Come on, let's go.

0:22:55 > 0:23:00- Fat Elvis is in the kitchen.- Is he? - You should go see him.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Yeah, I think I will go and see him.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11You have got to learn some things are not for little ears, eh?

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Some things are private.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23- I don't want you to go on holiday with him.- This from the man who's planning his honeymoon?!

0:23:23 > 0:23:26- You can't go.- I can do what I want with my own husband.

0:23:26 > 0:23:30You drag me out here, here in full view, start laying down the law?!

0:23:30 > 0:23:33Sorry, Max, you don't get to say any more.

0:23:33 > 0:23:34Tanya!

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Stop playing stupid games.

0:23:36 > 0:23:40You make this blow up in our faces, I swear I will never forgive you, Max.

0:23:40 > 0:23:46- It's you that got us here, lying and cheating.- So, what do you want to do? Find a corner? Crawl away and hide?

0:23:46 > 0:23:48That's really working for us, ain't it, Tanya?

0:23:48 > 0:23:52Let's learn one thing from the last who knows how many years.

0:23:54 > 0:23:55What are you saying?

0:23:57 > 0:23:58What exactly are you saying?

0:24:01 > 0:24:02I don't know. It's the quiet...

0:24:02 > 0:24:08It just gets so I'd rather be anywhere else rather than the flat.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12This is my best part of the day, this.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16Half hour, give my face a rest from smiling.

0:24:16 > 0:24:20I've seen me and him sneak in here in the middle of the night just...

0:24:20 > 0:24:23Well, it's bound to get busy, ain't it?

0:24:23 > 0:24:25A pub full, day in day out.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29Not that I mind. I really don't.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33And like Alfie says - I've got everything I've ever wanted.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36More.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39I'm glad for you.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Oi.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42I'm lucky, ain't I?

0:24:42 > 0:24:44No, you're kind.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52It's the old cliche, ain't it?

0:24:52 > 0:24:55You don't know what you want till it's gone.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01You hold on to what you got, Kat.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04You don't deserve to be sad.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06Hey! Shh, shh, shh.

0:25:06 > 0:25:07Shh, shh.

0:25:08 > 0:25:14- We're parents, Max. We've got partners and businesses...- That ain't right.- ..bills, responsibilities.

0:25:14 > 0:25:18Happiness - that's a glass of wine and no-one nagging. Where does "happiness" fit in?

0:25:18 > 0:25:22- Tan, we're with the wrong people. You know we are. - Tell you what I know.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25I know that you are never satisfied.

0:25:25 > 0:25:26Me, I'm an idiot.

0:25:26 > 0:25:34I guarantee you, Max, if we did do it right, we'd tear up those kids, screw Greg and Vanessa over.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Two months... Two months, you'd be twitching.

0:25:37 > 0:25:43- Six months, I'd be left holding the baby, you'd be lining up another Stacey. I know you.- I love you.

0:25:43 > 0:25:44- Shut up.- I do, I love you.

0:25:47 > 0:25:51- Didn't matter what I said. Julie just wouldn't listen. - Yeah, well...

0:25:51 > 0:25:56It's only queens that get to have kings fall in love with them, don't they?

0:25:56 > 0:25:59Just didn't want to know.

0:25:59 > 0:26:00- All right?- Hey, Michael.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02- Jean.- Oh!

0:26:04 > 0:26:06- Is my old man at it with Carol Jackson?- Ohh...

0:26:10 > 0:26:13What is the wrong with you, Max? Walking out without a word.

0:26:13 > 0:26:16You do know you've got the house keys?

0:26:18 > 0:26:23- Good work.- "See all, say nothing." That's our motto.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25- Sorry, Michael.- Course.

0:26:25 > 0:26:32But...I wouldn't be surprised if Carol has got more than inflatable hammers to worry about.

0:26:32 > 0:26:33Sorry?

0:26:33 > 0:26:35Letters.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38Whatever you do, don't ask Eddie about the letter from Chingford.

0:26:38 > 0:26:43- What?- Disconcertingly angry he was.

0:26:45 > 0:26:50I've had enough. If you don't want to sit down and write our wedding to-do list,

0:26:50 > 0:26:54then don't write a to-do list. But you do not stand me up here.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56SHE SIGHS

0:26:56 > 0:26:57Where are you, Max?

0:27:06 > 0:27:09I'm sick of being your latest affair.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13- Remind me how we got together the first time. - I've grown up. I have grown up.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Come on, Max. You know this isn't right.

0:27:16 > 0:27:19We've been gone too long.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Give me a couple of minutes, follow me out.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- YOU give it a... - You want to go out together? - Don't be so stupid!

0:27:26 > 0:27:28So, where do we stand?

0:27:35 > 0:27:40I can't. I want it to be over. I'm going on holiday, Max, and when I come back, I want it to be over.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43You don't mean that. You know I won't let you.

0:27:45 > 0:27:49It's too big, Max. The fallout from all this, it's too big.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52It doesn't matter what I want.

0:27:53 > 0:27:56The one thing I know - nothing stays secret for ever, does it?

0:28:17 > 0:28:20'You have one new message.

0:28:20 > 0:28:22- KAT:- 'Billy! Where the hell are you?

0:28:22 > 0:28:26'You've got five minutes to get round here or you're sacked!'

0:28:27 > 0:28:29What if we were seen?

0:28:29 > 0:28:32They'd have said something. You know what it's like here.

0:28:33 > 0:28:36Meet me later. You free?

0:28:36 > 0:28:37Could be.

0:28:37 > 0:28:40- One o'clock?- I'll be there.

0:28:47 > 0:28:51Hold on. Just straighten your fingers, all right?

0:28:51 > 0:28:53I'm going to kill that Billy.

0:28:53 > 0:28:56- We're lucky he stepped in at the last minute.- Now he's stepped out again.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58- Ow!- Sorry.

0:28:58 > 0:29:01My back hurts, my knees hurt, and now my hands hurt.

0:29:01 > 0:29:04Sit down and I'll make us a cup of tea. Sit down.

0:29:04 > 0:29:06And I hate these deckchairs and all!

0:29:09 > 0:29:10CLATTERING

0:29:10 > 0:29:13- Ow!- You all right, darling?

0:29:13 > 0:29:16- I want Billy killed and I want my sofa back!- Yep. Course.

0:29:16 > 0:29:19You all right? Come on, come on.

0:29:19 > 0:29:22I've got you, I've got you. There. All right?

0:29:36 > 0:29:38Is that a new perfume?

0:29:38 > 0:29:40No.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43Something's different.

0:29:44 > 0:29:45What's got into you?

0:29:45 > 0:29:48- Just woke up happy. - Oh. Makes a change.

0:29:50 > 0:29:52So what you doing today?

0:29:52 > 0:29:55- SHE SIGHS - Not a lot.

0:29:55 > 0:29:58Why, you got something in mind?

0:29:58 > 0:29:59Yeah, I might have.

0:29:59 > 0:30:01Really?

0:30:01 > 0:30:03What? Tell me.

0:30:05 > 0:30:08Just, I've got to be somewhere in a bit,

0:30:08 > 0:30:11so...I need you to look after Oscar for a bit.

0:30:15 > 0:30:16I'm busy.

0:30:16 > 0:30:19- Sorry, babe, you just said you weren't.- Well, I am now.

0:30:19 > 0:30:21Go on, babe, please?

0:30:21 > 0:30:23Get flipping Tanya to do it!

0:30:23 > 0:30:27- She's up to her eyes, ain't she? - What are you doing anyway?

0:30:27 > 0:30:29I'm off to Essex.

0:30:29 > 0:30:32Car dealership's going under, might be able to pick up a few bargains.

0:30:32 > 0:30:34Right. Why don't I come with you?

0:30:34 > 0:30:37We could make a day of it. Haven't done that in a while.

0:30:37 > 0:30:40Nah, it's a bit of schlep. And it don't solve the Oscar problem.

0:30:40 > 0:30:43- He could come with us. - What would that look like?

0:30:43 > 0:30:46Me turning up with a kid? That's not very professional.

0:30:48 > 0:30:51Babe, please. Go on.

0:30:51 > 0:30:52Go on, I won't be long.

0:30:52 > 0:30:57Oh, you won't? I thought you said Essex was a "bit of a schlep"?

0:31:03 > 0:31:05Hello, love. You all right?

0:31:05 > 0:31:08- My guts are hurting.- Are they? Why?

0:31:08 > 0:31:09It's my driving test today.

0:31:09 > 0:31:11Darling! I'm sorry, I forgot.

0:31:11 > 0:31:14- I've had so much on my mind lately. - So we noticed.

0:31:14 > 0:31:17- Try not to run over anyone. - KNOCKING ON DOOR

0:31:19 > 0:31:23All right, Tan? Vanessa can't look after Oscar.

0:31:23 > 0:31:26- Cora, you couldn't look after him, could you?- I'm tied up today.

0:31:26 > 0:31:28- Doing what?- Girlie stuff.

0:31:28 > 0:31:31- Come on, Mum.- For a minute I thought you'd come to wish me luck.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33Why would I do that?

0:31:33 > 0:31:37- Forget it. - Driving test. Not that you'd care.

0:31:37 > 0:31:41Of course I care! Sorry, Lauren. Good luck and all that.

0:31:41 > 0:31:44- Whatever. - Cora, here y'are. One grandson.

0:31:44 > 0:31:48- You know you're my favourite... - CAR HORN HONKS

0:31:48 > 0:31:51- That's Greg! He's giving me one last lesson. Wish me luck.- Good luck.

0:31:51 > 0:31:54See you later, little man. Cheers, Cora, appreciate it.

0:31:54 > 0:31:56Tan...

0:31:56 > 0:31:59Just get Rainie to help you, Mum.

0:31:59 > 0:32:01She's off with God somewhere.

0:32:01 > 0:32:03Bye bye, darling. Be good.

0:32:03 > 0:32:07- Where you going?- I'm going to work, where d'you think I'm going?

0:32:10 > 0:32:12When are you going to grow up?

0:32:15 > 0:32:19- Last time we put these on! - I've gone completely blank, I don't know what to do.

0:32:19 > 0:32:23- Relax. Seatbelt on, adjust your mirrors.- Oh, yeah...

0:32:23 > 0:32:28You know what, you're going to be the best driver in the world.

0:32:28 > 0:32:29Think she'll pass?

0:32:31 > 0:32:34Hitler's got her beady cataracts on us.

0:32:40 > 0:32:43Good luck.

0:32:46 > 0:32:48Have you got any money for breakfast?

0:32:48 > 0:32:50- I'm starving.- Bit of toast do you?

0:32:50 > 0:32:53That all you got? Go ask Alfie for an advance.

0:32:54 > 0:32:57- What?- Didn't go in, did I?

0:32:57 > 0:33:01- Pops!- I forgot! Then when I remembered, it was too late.

0:33:04 > 0:33:05We're broke.

0:33:05 > 0:33:09Right, you've got two options. Number one, you get my sofa back,

0:33:09 > 0:33:11or number two, you buy me a new one.

0:33:11 > 0:33:14- How much is a new one?- A grand. - Yeah, right!

0:33:14 > 0:33:16It's a grand, Eddie. A grand.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19You're lucky, Eddie. I talked her down, mate.

0:33:19 > 0:33:24You'll have your old one back by the end of the day.

0:33:24 > 0:33:27- My guarantee. - You make it three o'clock.

0:33:27 > 0:33:30- Any later and I'll come looking for my money.- Sorted.

0:33:30 > 0:33:33- Life is beautiful. Want a drink, Ed? - No, he ain't got time for a drink.

0:33:33 > 0:33:36Sorry, mate, she loved the sofa.

0:33:41 > 0:33:42Go a bit gentle! That's family.

0:33:42 > 0:33:45Alfie, I've got a twisted spine cos of that lot.

0:33:45 > 0:33:47Course you haven't got a twisted spine!

0:33:49 > 0:33:52- Oh, William.- All right?

0:33:52 > 0:33:54I got your message.

0:33:54 > 0:33:56I just wanted to say I'm so sorry,

0:33:56 > 0:34:00from the bottom of my heart, and it won't happen again, I swear.

0:34:00 > 0:34:03My soppy alarm didn't go off, did it? But don't worry.

0:34:03 > 0:34:05I'll be in tomorrow morning. Dead early.

0:34:05 > 0:34:08I'll even sleep on the floor in here. That is how dedicated I am.

0:34:08 > 0:34:14I'm so dedicated that I thought you might like to give me...

0:34:14 > 0:34:18- a little advance on my wages.- Ain't you got the message? You're sacked.

0:34:18 > 0:34:21Come on, Alf, I'm going hungry here!

0:34:23 > 0:34:27- Here you go. Don't eat them all at once.- Don't give away crisps!

0:34:27 > 0:34:28It was funny though, wasn't it?

0:34:56 > 0:34:57Sorry, sorry.

0:35:10 > 0:35:11Tyler!

0:35:14 > 0:35:17- Where is it?- What?

0:35:17 > 0:35:19Kat's sofa.

0:35:19 > 0:35:22It's right here, Dad. £200.

0:35:22 > 0:35:25- And I even got to test drive it. - Test drive it?

0:35:25 > 0:35:27You know. Checking out the springs.

0:35:27 > 0:35:29You sold it?

0:35:29 > 0:35:33More like part exchange. My loving, her money.

0:35:33 > 0:35:38That was not for sale. Strictly not for sale!

0:35:39 > 0:35:40Oi!

0:35:40 > 0:35:44- Where you going?- Is this a bad time?

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Oi, mind my feet!

0:36:04 > 0:36:06Stay back. Well back.

0:36:07 > 0:36:12Listen, we kind of got off on the wrong foot the other day.

0:36:12 > 0:36:14And?

0:36:26 > 0:36:29KNOCKING It's open, babe.

0:36:36 > 0:36:37Nice.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41Yeah, very nice.

0:36:43 > 0:36:47- I didn't do nothing!- You were here, you could've stopped him.

0:36:47 > 0:36:49- I tried my best, Dad. - Story of your life.

0:36:49 > 0:36:53- Give us the keys to the pick-up. - It's being serviced, you're on foot.

0:36:53 > 0:36:58- What?!- All right, anyone know Wilson Crescent?- Yeah.

0:36:58 > 0:37:00- About half a mile away.- You know it?

0:37:00 > 0:37:01- Yeah.- You can come an' all.

0:37:01 > 0:37:04Come on, Eddie. It's got to be worth a score, ain't it?

0:37:06 > 0:37:08- I'll give you a quid.- A quid?

0:37:08 > 0:37:11It's got a lot of sentimental value, this!

0:37:11 > 0:37:13- My Julie bought it.- Tell you what.

0:37:13 > 0:37:16Show them where Wilson Crescent is, and I'll give you a fiver.

0:37:18 > 0:37:21Hold on to that. I'll be back.

0:37:21 > 0:37:23You are the bloodhound on this one.

0:37:23 > 0:37:26- C'mon, Ant.- I still don't see why I've got go anyway.

0:37:31 > 0:37:33- Move! - I've got a business proposition.

0:37:33 > 0:37:36- I've got customers waiting. - This should be a teenage magnet.

0:37:36 > 0:37:38But you've only got old folks and fat people.

0:37:38 > 0:37:40I have a diverse range of clientele, yes.

0:37:40 > 0:37:46- I can put a word out. My kind are always looking for a good hangout. - Your kind aren't welcome in here.

0:37:46 > 0:37:48And we're always hungry, eating and eating.

0:37:48 > 0:37:51Nothing on this planet eats more than a teenage boy.

0:37:51 > 0:37:54They're like whales. Eating and eating and eating.

0:37:54 > 0:37:56All day, every day.

0:37:56 > 0:37:58I don't want no thugs in here.

0:38:00 > 0:38:03Look, she's after a bag of chips and he only wants a pickled egg.

0:38:03 > 0:38:05He can only suck, he can't chew.

0:38:05 > 0:38:09I'll get it so packed in here, you'll need a helper.

0:38:09 > 0:38:10As in me.

0:38:12 > 0:38:16MUSIC: "What A Difference A Day Makes" by Jamie Cullum

0:38:16 > 0:38:18Do you hear that?

0:38:19 > 0:38:20People singing about love.

0:38:21 > 0:38:25Makes the world go round, you know, love. Makes it spin, Max.

0:38:27 > 0:38:31Only sometimes it spins a little too fast, and people get all giddy, don't they?

0:38:31 > 0:38:34Light-headed.

0:38:34 > 0:38:37Do all the wrong things. Make huge mistakes.

0:38:37 > 0:38:39Do they?

0:38:39 > 0:38:43I ain't made any mistakes, so I don't know what you're talking about.

0:38:43 > 0:38:45Snogging in the alley.

0:38:45 > 0:38:48Back at school, are we?

0:38:50 > 0:38:54This ain't really your business, Jack. Why don't you go home, mate, forget about it?

0:38:54 > 0:38:56Listen, bruv, I don't care what you do.

0:38:56 > 0:38:59It's a shame for Vanessa and Greg

0:38:59 > 0:39:03but all I really wanted was to see your face when I walked in here.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05That's great. You've seen it now, ain't you?

0:39:05 > 0:39:07Off you go.

0:39:07 > 0:39:09So what, you renting?

0:39:15 > 0:39:18Why, you want to sublet?

0:39:18 > 0:39:20You've always got a line, ain't you?

0:39:20 > 0:39:24- Well, you know, can't help myself. - No, that's pretty evident.

0:39:24 > 0:39:27Because you know what you are, Max?

0:39:27 > 0:39:30You're a dirty ginger mutt who can't stop sniffing around.

0:39:30 > 0:39:32I take exception to that.

0:39:32 > 0:39:35Yeah, right(!) You wear it like a badge of honour.

0:39:35 > 0:39:39- I've got other qualities.- Oh, yeah?

0:39:39 > 0:39:41You name one good one.

0:39:44 > 0:39:47I'm kind to animals. JACK LAUGHS

0:39:47 > 0:39:49What do you want me to say?

0:39:49 > 0:39:51- I am what I am.- Yeah?

0:39:51 > 0:39:53Tanya, what's she?

0:39:53 > 0:39:56I guess she's just me with boobs.

0:39:59 > 0:40:01How about Greg?

0:40:01 > 0:40:03What if Greg finds out?

0:40:03 > 0:40:06- He ain't going to find out. - But what if he did?

0:40:06 > 0:40:10- Am I expected to come steaming in here, save your neck?- Greg...

0:40:10 > 0:40:12he's thicker than Cora's waistline.

0:40:12 > 0:40:16He don't know anything. In fact one time, I had Tanya in the office,

0:40:16 > 0:40:18under the desk, he thought it was Vanessa.

0:40:18 > 0:40:20He was about a foot away.

0:40:20 > 0:40:23I had her lipstick on my lips, her perfume on my clothes.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25He didn't have a clue.

0:40:25 > 0:40:28Yeah, well, he's not supposed to, is he?

0:40:28 > 0:40:31It don't mean he's dumb, just means he wouldn't think like that.

0:40:31 > 0:40:34- There's a big difference. - So what, are you defending him?

0:40:34 > 0:40:37No, I'm not. I'm just saying you've got to go careful.

0:40:37 > 0:40:40If I saw you, others will.

0:40:40 > 0:40:44And Vanessa ain't Greg. She'll sense something, women always do.

0:40:44 > 0:40:46Vanessa's not a worry.

0:40:46 > 0:40:49That's a big mistake, Max, if you believe that.

0:40:49 > 0:40:53What I mean is, I don't really like her. Not any more.

0:41:02 > 0:41:04Can you go to Leroy Street?

0:41:09 > 0:41:12MAX: 'It's not her fault, is it? No-one's to blame.'

0:41:14 > 0:41:18Just that the person in here is a cute little blonde with an attitude.

0:41:18 > 0:41:22Not Miss White in the lounge with ten litres of hairspray.

0:41:24 > 0:41:27Just keep schtum, yeah? Don't go bugging Tanya.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30We've already had one close call, we don't need another one.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34What d'you mean?

0:41:34 > 0:41:36- What happened?- Nothing, it's sorted.

0:41:37 > 0:41:41- Just lucky it was Lauren, that's all. - Lauren knows?

0:41:50 > 0:41:55- Half a mile? More like 20. - How heavy is this thing anyway?

0:41:55 > 0:41:57Too heavy. Watch the wheels, watch the wheels!

0:41:57 > 0:42:01We're going to have to put it down for a sec.

0:42:07 > 0:42:10What's your footy team then, Billy?

0:42:10 > 0:42:12There's only one club round here, mate.

0:42:12 > 0:42:13Ah, another Orient man.

0:42:13 > 0:42:16Shut up. I'm a Hammer. West Ham till I die.

0:42:16 > 0:42:19- Oh, my...- I knew it. I knew you was one of us.

0:42:19 > 0:42:21BOTH: # I'm forever blowing bubbles! #

0:42:21 > 0:42:24Yeah, we're about to meet you as you come plummeting down the leagues.

0:42:24 > 0:42:27That great big stadium's going to be empty.

0:42:27 > 0:42:29No-one's going to want to see you play Torquay United.

0:42:29 > 0:42:32You boys are living on past glories.

0:42:32 > 0:42:35Whereas the Orient haven't got any to live off, mate, have they?

0:42:35 > 0:42:39- HORN HONKS - What d'you want?

0:42:39 > 0:42:43- You're in our way.- We're having a rest.- We want past, you monkey.

0:42:43 > 0:42:45- Five minutes. - I've got a test coming up!

0:42:45 > 0:42:49- Reverse and find another route, darling.- I don't like reversing.

0:42:49 > 0:42:51Some teacher you are!

0:42:51 > 0:42:53Maybe we should move, if she's got her test coming up.

0:42:53 > 0:42:57This is part of it. Question 12, there's a sofa blocking your road.

0:42:57 > 0:43:00Do you A) back up?

0:43:00 > 0:43:03- B) sound your horn angrily? - C) set fire to said sofa?

0:43:03 > 0:43:08Or D) shut the hell up and wait like a good little girl should?

0:43:11 > 0:43:13And Lauren did nothing?

0:43:13 > 0:43:17She moved out, made a couple of threats.

0:43:17 > 0:43:19She would though, wouldn't she?

0:43:19 > 0:43:21What sort of threats?

0:43:21 > 0:43:24If she caught us again she'd get in a car and run me over,

0:43:24 > 0:43:27and this time she was going to finish the job.

0:43:27 > 0:43:30Still standing though, ain't I?

0:43:30 > 0:43:34Who's taking lessons, who's about to sit her test? How stupid are you?

0:43:34 > 0:43:37Nah, she don't suspect anything. Too clever for that.

0:43:37 > 0:43:40Clever? Grubby and cheap is what I'm getting.

0:43:40 > 0:43:44- Don't start! I could spend weeks talking about your behaviour. - I ain't done nothing wrong.

0:43:44 > 0:43:47This ain't my love nest, that ain't my cheap wine,

0:43:47 > 0:43:49those are not my stained bedsheets.

0:43:49 > 0:43:52- Tanya takes them home and washes them.- Don't get smart with me.

0:43:52 > 0:43:56- Are you done? Tanya, she'll be here in a sec.- Who says I'm leaving?

0:43:56 > 0:43:58What, you want a ringside seat?

0:43:58 > 0:44:00- Want to learn a couple more moves? - You're sick.

0:44:00 > 0:44:02What are you doing here?

0:44:02 > 0:44:05Seriously, you just at a loose end? What do you care what I get up to?

0:44:05 > 0:44:08- Do you know what you're risking? - That's half the fun.

0:44:08 > 0:44:10No. It ain't, mate. It's no fun.

0:44:10 > 0:44:13Cos where you'll be, where you'll end up, is like me.

0:44:13 > 0:44:16On your todd, wondering where your family's gone.

0:44:16 > 0:44:18Can't believe you don't see that.

0:44:18 > 0:44:21I get this now. Just lonely old Jack, ain't it?

0:44:21 > 0:44:24Heaping all of your worries onto me. Touching.

0:44:24 > 0:44:27- I'm welling up. - You've got no idea what it's like.

0:44:27 > 0:44:29And I never will have.

0:44:29 > 0:44:32Cos unlike you, I've still got everything I ever wanted.

0:44:32 > 0:44:35More, in fact. And you want to know why that is?

0:44:35 > 0:44:37Because I'm deserving of it.

0:44:37 > 0:44:41- Oh, this I've got to hear. - No, it's true.

0:44:41 > 0:44:44You, Jack, you've got Penny in France who you never see.

0:44:44 > 0:44:46You've got a kid in Roxy's flat that you never see,

0:44:46 > 0:44:49you got Richard with Sam Mitchell who you never see.

0:44:49 > 0:44:52- I'm there for my lot.- I take care of mine, I don't brag about it.

0:44:52 > 0:44:54I'm there to give 'em love.

0:44:54 > 0:44:56But you haven't the first clue about any of that.

0:44:56 > 0:44:58Cos you're selfish, Jack.

0:44:58 > 0:45:02- Always have been, always will be. - What you're doing in here, that ain't selfish?- No.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05No, no, no, it's bigger than that.

0:45:05 > 0:45:09Me and Tanya, we're soul mates. We can't keep away from each other.

0:45:09 > 0:45:11It's a love story.

0:45:11 > 0:45:12You know what that is, love?

0:45:13 > 0:45:16Do you remember? You and Ronnie?

0:45:17 > 0:45:19Mind you, that weren't love, was it?

0:45:19 > 0:45:22No. That was just plain mental.

0:45:22 > 0:45:26Max. You're getting very close to a good kicking, I'm telling you.

0:45:26 > 0:45:29That's right, Jack, resort to what you know. Coming in here,

0:45:29 > 0:45:32giving me a telling off. You want to smell yourself.

0:45:32 > 0:45:35You and Tanya, I want it over, right? Done with.

0:45:35 > 0:45:37- Who are you, the Pope?! - It ain't love, Max!

0:45:37 > 0:45:42- It's just some seedy little fumble in your seedy, unacceptable life. - Pot and kettle.

0:45:42 > 0:45:46You were boffing Rainie when things went up the spout with Ronnie.

0:45:46 > 0:45:50- That was a one-off. Caught me off guard. - How did that nutcase manage that?!

0:45:50 > 0:45:52- It ain't about me. - It's always about you, Jack.

0:45:52 > 0:45:54It's always about you, mate, ain't it?

0:45:54 > 0:45:58Always about you. Standing there wondering where it all went wrong.

0:45:58 > 0:46:00Not realising you probably caused most of it.

0:46:00 > 0:46:03Ronnie probably pleaded guilty to get away from you.

0:46:03 > 0:46:07- I came round here to give you the heads up. - You never. Don't give me that.

0:46:07 > 0:46:11You came to see if you could have another go on Tanya. That's how lonely you are.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13Hope your brother gives up his woman for you?

0:46:13 > 0:46:16- I'm warning you... - You were going to run away together!

0:46:16 > 0:46:18Maybe set up your own little love nest.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21- So all you are, Jack, is a big fat hypocrite!- Jack!

0:46:23 > 0:46:27Oi, Eddie! I think you'll find you owe me a fiver, mate.

0:46:33 > 0:46:36One day I'll work out what you see in him.

0:46:36 > 0:46:38- Where are you going, Jack? - Home.- And?

0:46:38 > 0:46:41- And what? - Are you going to tell people...

0:46:41 > 0:46:43- Babe, he ain't going to say nothing. - Says who?- It's sorted.

0:46:43 > 0:46:46It ain't, mate. Not remotely. Look at this place.

0:46:46 > 0:46:50Shabby little shack that stinks of all the wrong things.

0:46:50 > 0:46:54- You're going to put 'em right. - What does that mean?- I'm not going to let you hurt people any more.

0:46:54 > 0:46:58They don't deserve it. How many have you two racked up over the years?

0:46:58 > 0:47:02- You say one word... - We didn't mean for this to happen... - Tan, give it a rest.

0:47:02 > 0:47:06I expected more from you. Him, par for his grubby course.

0:47:06 > 0:47:09I always had you down for half decent. But all I'm getting

0:47:09 > 0:47:13is that evil little 18-year-old that stole my brother off Rachel.

0:47:13 > 0:47:15You remember her? Lovely woman who you two ruined.

0:47:15 > 0:47:18- Jack, that was a whole other me. - Then Stacey...

0:47:18 > 0:47:22- I get why you hated her so much now. Just you hating yourself.- Oi!

0:47:22 > 0:47:26- He's right.- No!- What else would you call me?- Here's what you do.

0:47:26 > 0:47:29- We ain't going to do nothing! - You're going to stop this now!

0:47:29 > 0:47:34- Go home, sort yourselves out, and you pretend this never happened. - We ain't going to do that.

0:47:34 > 0:47:37Look at yourself, Tanya. Look at yourself real close,

0:47:37 > 0:47:40and you ask yourself, is that really what you want to be?

0:47:47 > 0:47:49- Tan...- Max, no.

0:47:53 > 0:47:58I caught that fish myself. Ta.

0:48:01 > 0:48:05Um, if you want to get paid at the end of the day,

0:48:05 > 0:48:07I suggest that goes in till.

0:48:07 > 0:48:10Excuse me! This is my finder's fee.

0:48:12 > 0:48:14Thank you.

0:48:14 > 0:48:16So how am I doing then? You're loving me, right?

0:48:16 > 0:48:19That's not the words I'd use.

0:48:19 > 0:48:22Look, more teenage boys. I'm on everyone's lips, me.

0:48:22 > 0:48:25- Since when did you start working here?- Since now.

0:48:25 > 0:48:26What can I get you?

0:48:26 > 0:48:29Picked up this e-mail for Billy. It was sent to my account.

0:48:29 > 0:48:33- I'll give it to him.- No, I'll do it. - What's in it?- None of your business.

0:48:33 > 0:48:36- You've read it! - Are you going to order anything?

0:48:36 > 0:48:38Not from her, no.

0:48:38 > 0:48:41Want to keep your job? That's a customer walking out my door.

0:48:41 > 0:48:43Jay! Jay, look...

0:48:52 > 0:48:55Babe, we can't just give up because he says so.

0:48:57 > 0:48:59Tan...

0:49:01 > 0:49:03- I don't know, Max. - Listen to me, babe.

0:49:07 > 0:49:09What am I? Eh? What is this?

0:49:09 > 0:49:11It's just us , it's all it is.

0:49:13 > 0:49:15It doesn't feel right.

0:49:15 > 0:49:18I need to go home.

0:49:18 > 0:49:21Tan, look at me, will you, babe?

0:49:24 > 0:49:27When you think about it, this can't go anywhere. Can it?

0:49:27 > 0:49:29It just can't.

0:49:29 > 0:49:31You're not Stacey.

0:49:34 > 0:49:36It's nothing like that, Tanya.

0:49:40 > 0:49:42I want you.

0:49:47 > 0:49:50- Maybe in another life.- In this one.

0:49:57 > 0:50:01Maybe we've run our course. Maybe that's it.

0:50:02 > 0:50:05Jack coming here, it was a sign,

0:50:05 > 0:50:07it was a wake up call.

0:50:13 > 0:50:15I love you, Tanya.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29Let me go.

0:50:34 > 0:50:36Tan!

0:50:38 > 0:50:41- I shouldn't even be here. - You got free chips, didn't you?

0:50:41 > 0:50:44So what's in the e-mail that's so important then, eh?

0:50:44 > 0:50:46It's from the Olympics.

0:50:46 > 0:50:50- Billy's competing?- Yes, in the hundred metre moan. Course he's not!

0:50:50 > 0:50:52So what's it about then?

0:50:52 > 0:50:54Huh? Come on.

0:50:57 > 0:50:59Tried to get rid of it but I couldn't.

0:51:01 > 0:51:04- What?- You're going to the Olympics.

0:51:08 > 0:51:10MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

0:51:27 > 0:51:31- Kat, it'll turn up.- I hope not. - You what?- What's happened to you?

0:51:31 > 0:51:33There's a grand here if he don't turn up.

0:51:33 > 0:51:36I've a good mind to lock the doors so he can't get in.

0:51:40 > 0:51:42Your turn, sweetheart.

0:51:45 > 0:51:47What a gent.

0:51:47 > 0:51:49Won't be long, mate.

0:51:49 > 0:51:51GREG LAUGHING AND CHEERING

0:51:51 > 0:51:55Where's Mum? I passed! Can you believe it?

0:51:55 > 0:51:57Course I can. Chip off the old block.

0:51:57 > 0:52:01- See, told you! You were brilliant. - So brilliant you can have Oscar.

0:52:01 > 0:52:03He's driving me round the bend.

0:52:03 > 0:52:07- Is Tan not here? Bit weird, I'll give her call.- No need, I'm here.

0:52:07 > 0:52:10Oh, darling! Oh, well done!

0:52:10 > 0:52:13- Well done, I'm so proud of you. - OK, Mum, you're crushing me.

0:52:13 > 0:52:16Good.

0:52:24 > 0:52:27- What's that, a smile? - It's a big one an' all.

0:52:27 > 0:52:29I think I'll join you.

0:52:29 > 0:52:33- Kat, upstairs. Now.- Caveman! - No, no. I mean, just come with me.

0:52:33 > 0:52:35- I'm busy.- Kat, please! Come on.

0:52:35 > 0:52:37- A quick one, my treat. - Make it a large one.

0:52:37 > 0:52:39Yeah, me too.

0:52:39 > 0:52:43- Abi should be here, shouldn't she? - It's about time someone else looked after Oscar.

0:52:43 > 0:52:46- ALFIE:- Kat! - All right, I'm coming.

0:52:48 > 0:52:51- She passed. - First time, mate. First time.

0:52:53 > 0:52:56Well done, Lauren. That's brilliant.

0:53:00 > 0:53:02Hey! Well done, Eddie!

0:53:02 > 0:53:07- That's impossible, I was downstairs the whole time. - Except when you changed the barrels.

0:53:07 > 0:53:12- We're back in sofa heaven!- I'd have preferred a grand.- No pleasing 'em!

0:53:12 > 0:53:14Ohhh!

0:53:16 > 0:53:19Not a minute too soon.

0:53:19 > 0:53:21Ow, ow, ow...

0:53:24 > 0:53:27- Hi.- All right?- How'd it go? - Yeah, all right.

0:53:27 > 0:53:29Got a couple of bargains.

0:53:34 > 0:53:37Your life's in there. Trust me.

0:53:46 > 0:53:50I've been shortlisted to be an Olympic torchbearer.

0:53:50 > 0:53:52- Me?- Can I have your autograph?

0:53:52 > 0:53:55Says I'll find out for sure in December.

0:53:55 > 0:53:59See? And you thought it was going to be a rotten day, eh?

0:53:59 > 0:54:00Julie put me up for this.

0:54:00 > 0:54:04Then I guess she's still around then. You know, in a way.

0:54:09 > 0:54:11I'll be with you in a minute.

0:54:14 > 0:54:16I need you now.

0:54:18 > 0:54:19All right, Tan.

0:54:19 > 0:54:22Wait. Wait.

0:54:22 > 0:54:24I've tried.

0:54:25 > 0:54:28I tried to walk away,

0:54:28 > 0:54:30and I just can't.

0:54:30 > 0:54:33It don't feel right.

0:54:33 > 0:54:36It just don't. Not without you.

0:54:39 > 0:54:41I love you, Max.

0:54:41 > 0:54:43With everything I've got, I love you.

0:54:46 > 0:54:48So this is what we're going to do.

0:54:49 > 0:54:53We're going to do it right.

0:54:53 > 0:54:54Tomorrow...

0:54:55 > 0:54:58Tomorrow, we tell everyone.

0:55:03 > 0:55:06- I don't want you to feel... - I'm not the other woman.

0:55:08 > 0:55:09I'm the only woman.

0:55:21 > 0:55:25MUSIC: Instrumental version of "Can't Smile Without You"

0:55:28 > 0:55:30ALFIE HUMS CHEERILY

0:55:30 > 0:55:31- Ssh!- What's the matter?

0:55:33 > 0:55:36- Look at her.- What am I looking at?

0:55:37 > 0:55:39- Well?- Well, what?

0:55:39 > 0:55:42- Don't you see?- Don't know what you're talking about.

0:55:46 > 0:55:50- She hasn't spoken a word for two days.- Well, she wouldn't, though, would she?- No?

0:55:50 > 0:55:52No, she wouldn't.

0:55:52 > 0:55:56- She is taking her medication, isn't she?- It ain't that.- No?- No.

0:55:56 > 0:55:57It's a bloke.

0:55:57 > 0:56:01- Jean's got a bloke? - No, she ain't got one - which is why she's gone mute.

0:56:01 > 0:56:03- She THOUGHT she had one. - Yeah, she don't now.

0:56:03 > 0:56:05Right, so who's the bloke?

0:56:05 > 0:56:07No. You mean, "Who WAS the bloke?"

0:56:07 > 0:56:09It's Norman. He's the bloke.

0:56:09 > 0:56:11- He ain't NOW.- No.

0:56:11 > 0:56:13Right, so who is?

0:56:13 > 0:56:17- It doesn't matter, cos Pat stepped in.- Pat? - Yeah, she's got the bloke now.

0:56:17 > 0:56:19- Yeah, she's got the bloke. - That old trout?

0:56:19 > 0:56:22- Well, we're not having that. - Ain't we?- No, we're not.

0:56:22 > 0:56:26And I can't believe you two kept it to yourselves. HE SIGHS

0:56:37 > 0:56:39GREG: There we go.

0:56:39 > 0:56:41- Morning.- Hello.

0:56:41 > 0:56:44Where were you last night?

0:56:44 > 0:56:46I was just... Just here.

0:56:46 > 0:56:50Thought you'd be packing - we're off later on, aren't we?

0:56:50 > 0:56:52Cup of tea'd be nice first.

0:56:52 > 0:56:55Cup of tea. Right you are.

0:57:00 > 0:57:02There's a tractor.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05It's a big day today, baby.

0:57:25 > 0:57:27Guess what I did last night.

0:57:27 > 0:57:28Go on - have a guess.

0:57:28 > 0:57:32I don't think that's the sort of talk we need at the breakfast table.

0:57:32 > 0:57:35I bought a car for Lauren. What d'you reckon?

0:57:35 > 0:57:38You can buy one for me an' all if you like.

0:57:38 > 0:57:41Went down the Vic, saw Darren, did the deal there and then on the spot.

0:57:41 > 0:57:45We can put a big ribbon round it, give it to her. She'll get the surprise of her life.

0:57:45 > 0:57:48- You didn't have to do that, Greg. - Well, I wanted to.

0:57:48 > 0:57:51- Excuse me, everyone...- You can't just chuck cars at people.

0:57:51 > 0:57:54- Not unless you're really strong. - Mum!

0:57:54 > 0:57:58- Excuse me... - Hang on. This conversation doesn't actually involve you.

0:57:58 > 0:58:02Thanks, Greg, but she's my daughter. If anyone buys her a car, it'll be me.

0:58:02 > 0:58:07- She's sort of my daughter. - And he's a better dad than her own dad.- Mum, that's enough!

0:58:09 > 0:58:12Sorry. Sorry, I'm just tired.

0:58:12 > 0:58:15- Shouldn't we say grace?- Good Lord.

0:58:15 > 0:58:17- Shouldn't we?- Get a grip, girl.

0:58:17 > 0:58:20Yeah, we should.

0:58:20 > 0:58:22Yeah, that'd be nice, Rai.

0:58:22 > 0:58:24Are you serious?

0:58:27 > 0:58:30Yeah, I'd like to, actually.

0:58:30 > 0:58:31And you would.

0:58:38 > 0:58:40Spit it out - my toast's getting cold.

0:58:41 > 0:58:43I thank God for this meal...

0:58:43 > 0:58:45and for this family...

0:58:45 > 0:58:50Us all being here isn't something I've always had...

0:58:50 > 0:58:53so I thank you and, er...

0:58:55 > 0:59:00I think the word you're looking for is "amen".

0:59:01 > 0:59:02Amen.

0:59:02 > 0:59:04Amen.

0:59:16 > 0:59:19ANSWERPHONE: 'You have six new messages.

0:59:19 > 0:59:22'Message one...' RECORDING STOPS

0:59:27 > 0:59:29What have I done with it? What have I done with it?

0:59:29 > 0:59:32It was there. I know it was there. I know it was there.

0:59:32 > 0:59:35It was there. I put it there yesterday.

0:59:35 > 0:59:38I'll phone Max. Max might have seen it.

0:59:40 > 0:59:44I put it there, while I put my gloves on, then I went back here...

0:59:44 > 0:59:47SHE MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY

0:59:49 > 0:59:51Max? Max, it's me.

0:59:51 > 0:59:57Look, I've lost my engagement ring. I took it off yesterday and now it's gone and I can't find it anywhere.

0:59:57 > 1:00:00Look, can you give me a call if you've seen it? Please?

1:00:00 > 1:00:02OK, bye. Bye.

1:00:05 > 1:00:07Bet you're wondering why I'm in here.

1:00:07 > 1:00:11Meeting Greg. Made a sale last night. He's buying a motor for Lauren.

1:00:11 > 1:00:13- No, he ain't. That's my job. - It's a bit late for that.

1:00:13 > 1:00:19- I've done the paperwork, deposit... I thought you'd be happy. - Why would I? It's my kid, not his.

1:00:19 > 1:00:21- Jack.- Max.

1:00:21 > 1:00:24- How's things?- Yeah, good.

1:00:24 > 1:00:27- Did you think about what I said? - Yeah, I did, yeah.- And?

1:00:27 > 1:00:30- Yeah, I took your advice.- Really?

1:00:30 > 1:00:34- Get us another coffee, Darren, please.- You've still got one. - I want another one.

1:00:38 > 1:00:41It's like you said. Tanya, she don't want to be the other woman.

1:00:41 > 1:00:44She tried that before, as you so kindly pointed out.

1:00:44 > 1:00:46I'm almost believing you.

1:00:46 > 1:00:48Well, believe.

1:00:48 > 1:00:51Cos you helped us see the light.

1:00:51 > 1:00:52There you go.

1:00:55 > 1:00:58- Where's mine? - Well, you could've said.

1:00:58 > 1:01:01- I'm saying now, ain't I? - Yeah, I know, but you ain't my boss.

1:01:01 > 1:01:06Oi! I've got money wrapped up in the car lot, which means you, doughnut, collect the coffees.

1:01:06 > 1:01:07Go on.

1:01:12 > 1:01:16This better be straight up, Max. Only I'm watching you.

1:01:16 > 1:01:18Well, you watch all you like.

1:01:18 > 1:01:22You've seen the light - amazing.

1:01:22 > 1:01:25Yeah, I saw it all right.

1:01:26 > 1:01:30- One coffee. - Right, I've got to get off.

1:01:31 > 1:01:33You're doing the right thing.

1:01:33 > 1:01:35Yeah. Don't I know it.

1:01:36 > 1:01:40Max, if that was about business I really feel like I should be involved.

1:01:40 > 1:01:45Calm down. I'm still getting over you selling a motor to Greg. DARREN SIGHS

1:01:47 > 1:01:50Here, couldn't put those in the salon?

1:01:50 > 1:01:53- Yeah, yeah, I could maybe put a few round.- Life-saver.

1:01:53 > 1:01:54I've got loads to distribute.

1:01:54 > 1:01:59- This what you're doing now? Spreading the word.- It's helping me so I can help others, right?

1:01:59 > 1:02:01You look good on it.

1:02:01 > 1:02:05- Do I?- Yeah. Happier. Much.

1:02:05 > 1:02:06I feel it. I do.

1:02:06 > 1:02:10Thing is, you never really know where it's going to come from. Happiness.

1:02:10 > 1:02:14You just have to keep looking forward till you stumble across it.

1:02:14 > 1:02:16Or sometimes it was there already.

1:02:16 > 1:02:18Yeah. Thanks.

1:02:19 > 1:02:22- See you later, Rai.- See you later.

1:02:27 > 1:02:30- MO:- It's a diabolical liberty, it is.

1:02:30 > 1:02:32Yeah.

1:02:32 > 1:02:34Yeah. I understand.

1:02:34 > 1:02:36Jean?

1:02:36 > 1:02:39So...Norman.

1:02:39 > 1:02:41- Who?- We all know.

1:02:41 > 1:02:45Oh, well, it's not worth mentioning. Not really.

1:02:45 > 1:02:49Are you going to let that slapper walk all over you?

1:02:49 > 1:02:52- Pat ain't a patch on you. - That's not the way Norman sees it.

1:02:52 > 1:02:57Where's your fight, woman? If I'd given up on the first hurdle, I'd be a nun by now.

1:02:57 > 1:03:01What you need is to catch his eye, take his breath away.

1:03:01 > 1:03:04I'm not really the showy type.

1:03:04 > 1:03:06Flaming liberty.

1:03:06 > 1:03:08Have you seen this?

1:03:08 > 1:03:12They're closing the community centre, just because of a dodgy roof.

1:03:12 > 1:03:14The council won't pay out cos of cuts.

1:03:14 > 1:03:18What a shame. No more wrestling for the over-90s.

1:03:18 > 1:03:20There goes my webcam dream.

1:03:20 > 1:03:21Let's have a look at that.

1:03:24 > 1:03:26Hey, Nan, you're a beaut. This is it, Jean.

1:03:26 > 1:03:29You start a "save our community centre" campaign.

1:03:29 > 1:03:32You can spearhead it, get in the papers..

1:03:32 > 1:03:37- Not me. Surely...- Who reads the papers? I bet Norman does. - I'm not a rebel.- Well,- I- am.

1:03:37 > 1:03:42- And all you got to do is follow my lead.- Iron your leotard, Mo. Wrestling's back on.

1:03:44 > 1:03:47SHE BREATHES RAPIDLY

1:03:47 > 1:03:49PHONE RINGS

1:03:51 > 1:03:53- Hello?!- 'Mum...'

1:03:53 > 1:03:56- Oh, Jodie.- I've been having thoughts right? And there is no way

1:03:56 > 1:03:59that me and you aren't getting married on the same day.

1:03:59 > 1:04:03I'm a bit busy right now, darling. We'll talk later, yeah?

1:04:03 > 1:04:06It wouldn't be right without you by my side. Tell her, Poppy.

1:04:06 > 1:04:09No. No, look it wouldn't be right without you.

1:04:12 > 1:04:13Mum?

1:04:13 > 1:04:15What's happened?

1:04:18 > 1:04:23- Hello. Gaynor, would you like to take Ms Cooper upstairs?- Sure. Follow me.

1:04:30 > 1:04:31- All right?- Hello.

1:04:35 > 1:04:38I've just texted the girls - told them to come round later.

1:04:38 > 1:04:42- SHE EXHALES DEEPLY - This is it, then?- This is it.

1:04:42 > 1:04:46I couldn't sleep last night. Everyone's faces kept popping into my head.

1:04:46 > 1:04:48Greg, you mean?

1:04:48 > 1:04:53- Abs, Rainie. Even my mum.- Your mum? It's no wonder you couldn't sleep.

1:04:53 > 1:04:58- She's going to be your mum again soon. You ready for that?- Yeah, I don't care. As long as I'm with you.

1:05:00 > 1:05:02Did you know Greg's bought Lauren a motor?

1:05:02 > 1:05:07You'll just have to let it go, babe. It's probably the last thing he'll ever do for her.

1:05:07 > 1:05:10What if she sticks to her word - jumps in it and runs me over?

1:05:10 > 1:05:12She's not going to.

1:05:12 > 1:05:14Not when she realises it's us.

1:05:14 > 1:05:18We're all going to be together again. All of us.

1:05:18 > 1:05:20I'm shaking. Look at me.

1:05:20 > 1:05:22I'm going to need a drink before we do this.

1:05:22 > 1:05:27I tell you what - why don't we meet at the flat? We'll have a couple of drinks, then...

1:05:27 > 1:05:30take a deep breath and go and tell everyone. SHE SIGHS

1:05:30 > 1:05:33- Max...- I know.

1:05:33 > 1:05:35But we walk in...

1:05:35 > 1:05:36hand in hand...

1:05:36 > 1:05:39and we'll do what we got to do.

1:05:41 > 1:05:45- It's a sign.- It's a lost ring. - It's almost like the ring knows something's not right.

1:05:45 > 1:05:47Mum, you're getting married.

1:05:47 > 1:05:49Max has proposed, you've accepted.

1:05:49 > 1:05:51- Yeah. Same day as Jode. - Yeah, same day as me.

1:05:51 > 1:05:55Not so sure about that. Max wasn't exactly happy at the prospect.

1:05:55 > 1:06:00- Mum, I'm not doing this without you. Poppy'll drag Max there if she has to.- Yeah, I'll drag him.

1:06:01 > 1:06:04All this panic is just nerves.

1:06:04 > 1:06:08- What you really need is to get thinking about your big day. - BOTH big days.

1:06:08 > 1:06:11- Which is the same day.- I dunno, love.

1:06:13 > 1:06:15- I- do. Now come on,

1:06:15 > 1:06:17Jodie's taking charge.

1:06:18 > 1:06:20What you need is plans.

1:06:20 > 1:06:22Big, amazing plans.

1:06:23 > 1:06:25Beep, beep, beep.

1:06:27 > 1:06:31That got a chapter about being dumped with grandchildren morning, noon and night?

1:06:33 > 1:06:36Thought you was going to be out spreading the gospel.

1:06:36 > 1:06:37I'm building up to it.

1:06:37 > 1:06:41Not a lot to shoving a leaflet in someone's face.

1:06:41 > 1:06:43Bit more than that, Mum.

1:06:43 > 1:06:45Really?

1:06:45 > 1:06:47OSCAR CHATTERS

1:06:48 > 1:06:52- TV, VOLUME INCREASING: 'That's the cartoon done by Topol...'- Mum!

1:06:52 > 1:06:58'..who played the part of Tevye in Fiddler, and he did that and one other one of me,

1:06:58 > 1:07:03- 'and gave them to me and signed them. There you go.- Wow! He was a great artist, as well.

1:07:03 > 1:07:05'Yeah, it's a good cartoon...'

1:07:05 > 1:07:07Patrick?

1:07:07 > 1:07:10Do you fancy a drink or three?

1:07:10 > 1:07:13What do you mean, you're busy?

1:07:13 > 1:07:15Doing what?

1:07:15 > 1:07:16What?!

1:07:19 > 1:07:21So what made Jean so popular, then?

1:07:21 > 1:07:22- Shut up.- What you doing?

1:07:22 > 1:07:26Don't keep hitting me like that, that's abuse that is, darling.

1:07:26 > 1:07:29- You're going to have to kiss it better later now, ain't you? - I would, but...

1:07:29 > 1:07:31I got chapped lips.

1:07:31 > 1:07:35- This...is a desecration.- What?

1:07:35 > 1:07:38- A desecration. - You doing that in French?

1:07:38 > 1:07:39Zip it, Nan.

1:07:40 > 1:07:41Go on, Jean.

1:07:41 > 1:07:47Well, er, whatever it is, it's wrong. Because we need the centre

1:07:47 > 1:07:51and, um... Well, if we want it, we're going to have to fight for it.

1:07:51 > 1:07:53Oh, yes, it's like everything in life, you know.

1:07:53 > 1:07:56Exactly, Patrick. Exactly.

1:07:56 > 1:07:58So, um, I'm proposing...

1:07:58 > 1:08:01Oh, Jean. Oh, yes, I'll marry you.

1:08:05 > 1:08:06For me? You shouldn't have.

1:08:06 > 1:08:11- Just what every teen needs. - Shame I haven't got a car to put them in, though.

1:08:11 > 1:08:15Well, that's the thing. See, we've got to think about getting you a motor.

1:08:15 > 1:08:17Sure your dad can sort you out a deal.

1:08:17 > 1:08:22- You think he would?- Well, there's no point passing your test if you're going to get on a bus!

1:08:22 > 1:08:25I'm proposing that we all take up arms together.

1:08:25 > 1:08:29Oh, yes, and take up your legs too.

1:08:29 > 1:08:31PATRICK CHUCKLES

1:08:31 > 1:08:35Patrick, we're supposed to be taking this seriously. Er...

1:08:35 > 1:08:38I'm proposing a roof fund.

1:08:38 > 1:08:41Ways of raising money to get the roof fixed.

1:08:41 > 1:08:44Here, Norm. Over here, mate. (Build it and he will come.)

1:08:44 > 1:08:46Heard there was an uprising.

1:08:46 > 1:08:47Yes, this is us.

1:08:47 > 1:08:49Up rising together.

1:08:49 > 1:08:52Ooh, sorry. I got held up.

1:08:52 > 1:08:53Budge up, Patrick.

1:08:53 > 1:08:55All right, all right, all right.

1:08:55 > 1:08:58Ooh, I love a revolution.

1:08:58 > 1:09:02We've got enough actually, Pat. Sorry.

1:09:02 > 1:09:04Kat, love, you can never have enough. You should know that.

1:09:04 > 1:09:06I agree.

1:09:12 > 1:09:14Aww!

1:09:15 > 1:09:17This bit still makes me cry.

1:09:17 > 1:09:20You're supposed to be cheering me up.

1:09:20 > 1:09:21This is cheery.

1:09:21 > 1:09:23Dead cheery.

1:09:23 > 1:09:28- You two!- So, have you got any ideas yet? Things you might need.

1:09:28 > 1:09:30You know, stuff like they had.

1:09:30 > 1:09:35- What, like the Royals?- We've got to splash out, make it spesh.

1:09:35 > 1:09:37It'll turn up. It will.

1:09:40 > 1:09:42So, how's Darren about all this, eh?

1:09:42 > 1:09:46- It is his big day as well.- Well, me and Pops've got a plan for him.

1:09:46 > 1:09:49- We're going to do a pincher movement. - Pincher.- Pincher?

1:09:49 > 1:09:52Like a crab with his pinchers - come at him from either side.

1:09:52 > 1:09:56He tries to go one way, I'll be there. Tries to go the other way, Poppy'll be there.

1:09:56 > 1:09:58- Genius, innit?- Genius.

1:10:21 > 1:10:24Gaynor'll be with you in a minute, all right?

1:10:30 > 1:10:35I'm sorry if I got a bit ahead of myself earlier on.

1:10:35 > 1:10:37You know, with the car and all that.

1:10:37 > 1:10:40You didn't need to do that, darling.

1:10:40 > 1:10:43Course I did. Don't want you unhappy, do I?

1:10:43 > 1:10:47- Not when we're about to fly off. - I haven't packed yet.

1:10:47 > 1:10:52I just got the cases down. I thought we could pack a bit extra - you know, bit of silk, bit of lace...

1:10:52 > 1:10:56- Great.- You do what you've got to do here, hand over the keys and I'll sort the rest out, all right?

1:11:13 > 1:11:14TOY BANGS

1:11:14 > 1:11:18Stop that racket. D'you hear me?

1:11:20 > 1:11:24Stop your noise.

1:11:34 > 1:11:35How class is that?

1:11:35 > 1:11:39Max and Jack will see that I'm not just the coffee boy.

1:11:39 > 1:11:40How many of these have you got?

1:11:40 > 1:11:42- A thousand.- One thousand?

1:11:42 > 1:11:46Yep. Mickey did me a good deal. He said you can't call yourself a businessman

1:11:46 > 1:11:48unless you've got business cards.

1:11:48 > 1:11:51Yeah. It's going to take centuries to hand them all out. Sorry.

1:11:51 > 1:11:55Right. Pretend you don't know me.

1:11:55 > 1:11:59- But I do.- Yeah, I know. But you're just pretending, right, Tam? Go with it, all right?

1:11:59 > 1:12:01- Pretend we're at a function. - What function?

1:12:01 > 1:12:03Um, golf. A golf day.

1:12:03 > 1:12:06I wouldn't be there, cos I don't like golf.

1:12:06 > 1:12:09Yeah I know, but this is the bloke you're pretending to be.

1:12:09 > 1:12:12- He likes golf?- He loves it.

1:12:12 > 1:12:15Oh, OK. What trousers am I wearing?

1:12:15 > 1:12:18- Sorry? - Cos they wear really weird trousers.

1:12:18 > 1:12:21Yeah, anyway, I come over, and we get chatting, and you say...

1:12:21 > 1:12:26- "D'you like my trousers?"- No. You say, what do I do for a living?

1:12:26 > 1:12:30And I say, "Darren Miller, sales exec, work in the automobile industry."

1:12:30 > 1:12:32- And you say... - "I've got other pairs."

1:12:32 > 1:12:35"How interesting. Really good to talk to you.

1:12:35 > 1:12:39"Why don't you take one of my cards and...call me?"

1:12:39 > 1:12:42- I've already got one, though, so... - Well, now you've got two.

1:12:42 > 1:12:44OK. I'll call you twice, then.

1:12:44 > 1:12:46Yeah. Call me twice.

1:12:46 > 1:12:50- Here he is.- Here he is. - Oh, look what I've got!

1:12:50 > 1:12:53Pincher One to Pincher Two. Are you reading me? Over.

1:12:53 > 1:12:56Pincher Two to Pincher One, I am reading you. Over.

1:12:56 > 1:13:00- Darren Miller, I am sick of being engaged to you.- Sick to death.

1:13:00 > 1:13:03- So I've decided that we're going to set a date.- A date to get married.

1:13:03 > 1:13:05Cool.

1:13:05 > 1:13:08I will see you on the golf course, Darren. OK?

1:13:15 > 1:13:18Oh, you should've told me you were having a meeting.

1:13:18 > 1:13:22Tell you what, that centre has been a godsend to me. Talking of which...

1:13:22 > 1:13:29This is too late for me, my dear. Not enough time left to repent for all the things that I have done.

1:13:29 > 1:13:32- That's just it - it's never too late.- We're talking roof here.

1:13:32 > 1:13:34Oh...sorry.

1:13:34 > 1:13:38- There's some wise words in here. - Yeah, I think so.

1:13:38 > 1:13:41Yeah, but none of 'em mention a tiler. So come on, Jean, focus.

1:13:41 > 1:13:42Right.

1:13:42 > 1:13:48I've put together a fund-raising team list.

1:13:48 > 1:13:51So Patrick, because you're such a charmer,

1:13:51 > 1:13:55I thought you could contact local companies and see if they'd like to contribute to the cause.

1:13:55 > 1:14:00Well, then, I'll give it my charming best, my dear.

1:14:00 > 1:14:03- Norman and I...- Yeah?

1:14:03 > 1:14:05I thought we could do event management.

1:14:05 > 1:14:10Organise some sort of function where we get people to...

1:14:10 > 1:14:13open their eyes to what is going on.

1:14:13 > 1:14:15I'm all for that, Jean.

1:14:15 > 1:14:19- You are?- Oh, yeah. - So who's going to do the catering?

1:14:19 > 1:14:21W-W-Why do we need catering?

1:14:21 > 1:14:26- You always need catering.- Yeah, I could help you with that Jean. Yeah, you cook, I'll dish out.

1:14:26 > 1:14:29- OK, that sounds settled, then. - It does?- Yeah.

1:14:29 > 1:14:31Hold on. This is JEAN'S scheme.

1:14:31 > 1:14:36Yeah, and it's working beautifully. I'll help you manage events. And I hope you've got some good ideas.

1:14:36 > 1:14:41- Well, let's discuss it all over a bottle of wine, eh?- Oh, lovely.

1:14:45 > 1:14:47- SHE SHOUTS:- Brainwave! Brainwave!

1:14:47 > 1:14:50I know what will get us some money.

1:14:54 > 1:14:58We could have a fete. Yeah. We could hold a fete.

1:14:58 > 1:15:01And it could be called the, um...

1:15:01 > 1:15:03Fete and Fortune Day.

1:15:03 > 1:15:08- I can do me tarot cards.- You know, we could get Ian to sponsor that.

1:15:08 > 1:15:13And we'll need a main attraction, so maybe, Norman, you could do your Pearly King thing.

1:15:13 > 1:15:17- You'll need a Pearly Queen.- I could do that. We could be a right pearly royal couple, Norman.

1:15:17 > 1:15:20- Everyone will flock to see us. - That's a great idea!

1:15:21 > 1:15:24- But I've got my own Queen. - You have?

1:15:24 > 1:15:26You'll do it, won't you, Pat?

1:15:32 > 1:15:34CRASHING

1:15:34 > 1:15:36OSCAR SCREAMS

1:15:38 > 1:15:39Oscar?

1:15:40 > 1:15:43I'm on my way there now.

1:15:43 > 1:15:47Yeah, I'm going to tidy up, yeah. Put everything in boxes.

1:15:47 > 1:15:49Yeah all right, I'll see you there.

1:15:54 > 1:15:56What you doing there?

1:15:56 > 1:15:59- What are we going to do, Max? - What do you mean, do?

1:15:59 > 1:16:03- About the wedding. The double wedding. You know - me, you, Jodie, Vanessa.- Why? What?

1:16:03 > 1:16:06It's still happening. They're in the kitchen, planning it.

1:16:06 > 1:16:09They dragged me here and started talking about flamingos.

1:16:09 > 1:16:12I had to escape. You've got to calm them down, have a word.

1:16:12 > 1:16:15- I can't - I got to be somewhere. - What am I going to do?

1:16:15 > 1:16:20- Darren, just calm down.- Calm down? I need to find about 20 grand.

1:16:20 > 1:16:25- Maybe you don't need to.- It's not like I can turn to my parents - they ain't got it.- I didn't mean that.

1:16:25 > 1:16:30- Just slow down, don't panic and things'll take care of themselves, all right?- Well, how exactly?

1:16:30 > 1:16:33Darren, just keep your money in your pocket, all right?

1:16:33 > 1:16:37Just keep it there and what will be will be.

1:16:38 > 1:16:40Max...

1:16:42 > 1:16:44You do realise you're my hero, don't you?

1:16:49 > 1:16:52Yeah, I managed to get rid of most of them.

1:16:52 > 1:16:53Oh, great. Me too.

1:16:56 > 1:17:00Rai, have you read anything yet about forgiveness?

1:17:00 > 1:17:04- Loads.- Yeah?- Yeah. Why?

1:17:04 > 1:17:05Just wondering.

1:17:05 > 1:17:07PHONE RINGS

1:17:16 > 1:17:17Hello.

1:17:18 > 1:17:20What?

1:17:22 > 1:17:25Right, yeah, I'll be straight there.

1:17:25 > 1:17:26Tan?

1:17:26 > 1:17:29MUSIC: "La Bamba" by Los Lobos

1:17:29 > 1:17:32HE SINGS ALONG: # La, la, la, la La Bamba

1:17:32 > 1:17:35# Ba-da-ba-da-da, da-da. #

1:17:35 > 1:17:37Oh, yeah!

1:17:42 > 1:17:45Thank you. How is he?

1:17:45 > 1:17:48He's fine, Mrs Jessop. Just a cut and a small bruise.

1:17:48 > 1:17:51I'm going for a drink. He's worn me out.

1:17:51 > 1:17:55Oh, I'm so sorry, darling. Mummy should've been here, shouldn't she?

1:17:55 > 1:17:58- He'll definitely be OK? - Right as rain.- OK, well, thank you.

1:17:58 > 1:18:01- To be honest, I was hoping to see you.- You were?

1:18:01 > 1:18:04While Oscar's in the play area, can I have a quick word?

1:18:04 > 1:18:06My receptionist will look after him.

1:18:06 > 1:18:08Yeah, OK.

1:18:12 > 1:18:14You all right?

1:18:16 > 1:18:20Jodie...I've thought long and hard about this,

1:18:20 > 1:18:24and I've decided that I'm not going to marry you.

1:18:24 > 1:18:27- Oh, no.- What?- Without making it the social event of the year!

1:18:27 > 1:18:31- TAMWAR LAUGHS - I almost ruined my golf trousers.

1:18:31 > 1:18:34- I'm going to go now - I got a restaurant to run.- Well, not yet,

1:18:34 > 1:18:37cos I ain't asked you to be my best man yet, have I?

1:18:37 > 1:18:42- Are you going to get down on one knee?- No but come on - you going to do me the honour? Yes or no?- Yes.

1:18:42 > 1:18:46- I can have what I want?- And more. - Have you actually got the money, though?

1:18:46 > 1:18:49- Yeah, I've got the money.- Good. - THEY SCREAM

1:18:52 > 1:18:57It's on - the double wedding! Darren said that Max said it's on!

1:19:00 > 1:19:03- Forgive me for asking, but did you get a letter recently?- From?

1:19:03 > 1:19:08- The health service.- I don't know. It's been so manic lately, I...

1:19:08 > 1:19:11I did stuff some post in my bag, actually, yeah.

1:19:11 > 1:19:14What they writing to me for? It's not one of them surveys, is it?

1:19:14 > 1:19:16I don't think it's a survey.

1:19:36 > 1:19:40- How did you know I was getting a letter?- You should maybe open it.

1:19:47 > 1:19:51- What is this? - The results of your smear test.

1:19:51 > 1:19:54Your smear's reported as having severe dyskaryosis.

1:19:56 > 1:20:01- What's that in English? - Don't be alarmed, but they're pre-cancerous abnormal cells

1:20:01 > 1:20:03that may need treatment.

1:20:04 > 1:20:07I heard the C word then. That was the C word.

1:20:07 > 1:20:11- The results don't necessarily mean that.- So, what do they mean?

1:20:11 > 1:20:16There's a concern about some of the cells. For the majority of women, however, they won't be cancerous.

1:20:16 > 1:20:21- But they might be for me? - You'll need to call the gynaecology unit to make an appointment.

1:20:21 > 1:20:23The leaflets they enclosed tell you more.

1:20:25 > 1:20:26I, um...

1:20:28 > 1:20:30D'you know, I did have some...

1:20:30 > 1:20:32Some bleeding...

1:20:32 > 1:20:35you know - after sex. Does that mean something?

1:20:38 > 1:20:41It's bad, isn't it? I knew it was. I meant to come in about that...

1:20:41 > 1:20:44Well, you'll need to get it checked out.

1:20:44 > 1:20:47- It's bad, isn't it?- We need to get you looked at as soon as we can.

1:20:47 > 1:20:50Right, but you're... I mean, you've seen all this before, so you'd know.

1:20:50 > 1:20:52We can't make assumptions - not at this stage.

1:20:56 > 1:20:59Is this... Is this what I think...

1:20:59 > 1:21:01Is this what I think it could be?

1:21:01 > 1:21:04Is it? I mean, you can tell me. I'd like to hear.

1:21:04 > 1:21:08Obviously... Obviously, I wouldn't but I've got to. So tell me...

1:21:08 > 1:21:10- Tell me. Is it?- Tanya...

1:21:10 > 1:21:12It's cancer, innit? Tanya, please...

1:21:15 > 1:21:17Hm!

1:21:17 > 1:21:20Like father, like daughter.

1:21:20 > 1:21:22Let's make this appointment, hey?

1:21:22 > 1:21:24He was dead before he was 40.

1:21:45 > 1:21:50- Flamingos, Poppy.- Flamingos, yeah. - Ice sculptures.- Ice sculptures! - THEY SQUEAL

1:21:58 > 1:22:02SHE SINGS ALONG TO RADIO: # Ever since we met you've had a hold on me

1:22:02 > 1:22:05# It happens to be true

1:22:05 > 1:22:09# I only wanna be with you. #

1:22:31 > 1:22:34Babe, what happened to you? I was getting worried about you.

1:22:37 > 1:22:41Sorry, I got held up. Oscar had an accident.

1:22:41 > 1:22:43What sort of accident? Is he all right?

1:22:43 > 1:22:47Yeah, sorry, he's fine, he's fine. He just fell over. Mum was with him.

1:22:47 > 1:22:51- I just had to go to the doctor's, pick him up, that's all.- Oh, right.

1:22:51 > 1:22:54Right, well, I've boxed everything up.

1:22:57 > 1:22:58- Do you want that drink?- Mmm.

1:23:02 > 1:23:03Thanks.

1:23:08 > 1:23:09You sure you're all right?

1:23:09 > 1:23:14Yes, I'm fine. It's just doctors, innit? You know what I'm like.

1:23:17 > 1:23:20You're not still upset because of the other day, are you?

1:23:20 > 1:23:22You know, going back to your mum's?

1:23:22 > 1:23:24Yeah, maybe.

1:23:28 > 1:23:33- You're just stressed, aren't you? You're bound to be.- Yeah.

1:23:33 > 1:23:35Finish your drink. Let's get it over with.

1:23:37 > 1:23:39Like having your tooth pulled?

1:23:40 > 1:23:43Babe, I'm as scared as you are, I am.

1:23:44 > 1:23:46I feel sick.

1:23:46 > 1:23:48But we don't have a choice, do we?

1:23:48 > 1:23:50We're doing the right thing.

1:23:51 > 1:23:54After tonight, we're all going to be together.

1:23:59 > 1:24:01What if it's not that simple?

1:24:01 > 1:24:04- What do you mean? - What if things happen?

1:24:04 > 1:24:05What do you mean? What things?

1:24:08 > 1:24:10Things. Just things.

1:24:10 > 1:24:12You know, things happen in life, don't they? People get sick.

1:24:12 > 1:24:14They die. They get hit by a car.

1:24:14 > 1:24:17Babe, I know this is difficult, but nothing's going to happen.

1:24:17 > 1:24:19This is what we want, innit? You and me together again.

1:24:22 > 1:24:27You're never going to look at me the way my mum used to look at my dad?

1:24:27 > 1:24:29Not a shred of love in her eyes?

1:24:29 > 1:24:31Course I ain't.

1:24:31 > 1:24:33Babe, it's going to be fine.

1:24:34 > 1:24:40It's not going to be fine. It's never going to be fine. I think maybe,

1:24:40 > 1:24:43I think maybe this whole thing's a mistake.

1:24:43 > 1:24:46What do you mean a mistake? What are you talking about?

1:24:48 > 1:24:52- Tan, listen to me...- No. - Listen, we'll go over there,

1:24:52 > 1:24:56we'll do the right thing in the right way, all right? We'll sit everyone down,

1:24:56 > 1:25:00and explain how sorry we are. We never meant for it to happen, but we couldn't help it.

1:25:00 > 1:25:01We love each other.

1:25:01 > 1:25:08- And then, babe, we'll just deal with what happens. Together.- No.

1:25:08 > 1:25:10Babe, what do you mean no?

1:25:10 > 1:25:12I don't want this any more. I don't want this.

1:25:12 > 1:25:14I've changed my mind.

1:25:18 > 1:25:20ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS

1:25:24 > 1:25:26PHONE RINGS

1:25:29 > 1:25:35Hello? Er, no, she's not.

1:25:35 > 1:25:37- Girls, have you seen your mum? - No, sorry.

1:25:37 > 1:25:39No, no, no. No they haven't.

1:25:39 > 1:25:41Yeah, I'll pass it on. OK, bye. Bye.

1:25:41 > 1:25:44- Who was that? - Greg. Now go on, scoot, scoot!

1:25:44 > 1:25:49Your dad will be back in a minute and I don't want anything to distract from the romance.

1:25:49 > 1:25:50Go on, get out.

1:25:59 > 1:26:04If you walk out that door, I'll go back now and I'll tell Vanessa everything.

1:26:04 > 1:26:08I'll tell her it's over. I'll tell her I've been with you all this time.

1:26:09 > 1:26:10You do what you want, Max.

1:26:10 > 1:26:13What, and you think Greg's going to like that?

1:26:13 > 1:26:16You think he's going to want you after that?

1:26:17 > 1:26:18I'm not going to be with Greg.

1:26:21 > 1:26:24- Babe, what are you talking about? - I'm going to, um...

1:26:24 > 1:26:28I'm going to go back and I'm going to tell Greg that I made a mistake.

1:26:28 > 1:26:32We should never have got married. That we should be apart.

1:26:32 > 1:26:35Yeah, then why can't we be together?

1:26:35 > 1:26:41Listen... Listen, if I were you, I would just go back to Vanessa and forget about all of this.

1:26:41 > 1:26:44I don't want Vanessa, babe. I want you.

1:26:46 > 1:26:48Tan, please don't walk out that door.

1:26:52 > 1:26:55PHONE RINGS

1:26:58 > 1:27:01I'm sorry.

1:27:03 > 1:27:05PHONE RINGS

1:27:27 > 1:27:29Where have you been?

1:27:29 > 1:27:31- I've been worried sick about you. - Sorry, I got held up.

1:27:31 > 1:27:34Come on. Look, I've packed for the pair of us.

1:27:34 > 1:27:37I'm not sure which one of these are wrong.

1:27:37 > 1:27:39Sure you're going to fit into them, darling?

1:27:39 > 1:27:43Mum, could you just give me and Greg a minute, please? Alone. We need to talk.

1:27:43 > 1:27:46Come on, Oscar.

1:27:51 > 1:27:52FRONT DOOR OPENS

1:28:00 > 1:28:02There you are.

1:28:02 > 1:28:06- I was getting this close to getting really hacked off with you.- Sorry.

1:28:08 > 1:28:12- It looks lovely.- I try my best.

1:28:12 > 1:28:14Right, come on let's take your jacket off.

1:28:14 > 1:28:18Let's pretend you weren't late, like everything's perfect.

1:28:20 > 1:28:24Hiya, Daddo. Did you want to speak to us?

1:28:24 > 1:28:27Uh, yeah, I did, yeah. Can we do it in a minute?

1:28:27 > 1:28:30I won't be long, all right? I promise.

1:28:35 > 1:28:37All right, well, sit down. I'll serve.

1:28:43 > 1:28:47Tada! Here we are.

1:28:49 > 1:28:52Oh, ignore that lot. Me and Jodie got a bit carried away.

1:28:52 > 1:28:57Just a bit of fun really. OK. Max?

1:29:03 > 1:29:06- Listen, V...- Bit of wine?

1:29:06 > 1:29:08Yeah, that'd be great, but listen to me...

1:29:08 > 1:29:13No buts, Max. I don't want any worries or negative thoughts.

1:29:13 > 1:29:15I just want us to spend one hour together.

1:29:15 > 1:29:18You know, really together. Bit of romance.

1:29:20 > 1:29:22Cheers.

1:29:24 > 1:29:26Yeah, cheers.

1:29:31 > 1:29:33Right, well, tuck in.

1:29:36 > 1:29:39Tell you the truth, babe, I'm not really hungry.

1:29:39 > 1:29:41Very funny(!)

1:29:45 > 1:29:48HE SOBS

1:29:51 > 1:29:53What you doing? Max?

1:29:53 > 1:29:56What is it? What's wrong?

1:29:56 > 1:29:58I'm sorry.

1:29:58 > 1:29:59Max?

1:29:59 > 1:30:02You're starting to really worry me now.

1:30:02 > 1:30:05- What's happened? Tell me.- I just...

1:30:05 > 1:30:09Please, I just...I don't think I can do this any more.

1:30:09 > 1:30:11- Do what?- This, all right.

1:30:11 > 1:30:15Just this...carry on, you know. Just you and me. Just...

1:30:17 > 1:30:20..just everything, you know, the whole...

1:30:20 > 1:30:22the whole marriage thing.

1:30:24 > 1:30:26What are you saying? Max?

1:30:26 > 1:30:29Babe, I'm sorry.

1:30:30 > 1:30:35I am. I'm really, really sorry, V.

1:30:36 > 1:30:38I just don't love you.

1:30:46 > 1:30:50It's us. You and me.

1:30:50 > 1:30:53I've been having a really good think and I just...

1:30:53 > 1:30:55wonder if we need a little time.

1:30:55 > 1:30:58- For what?- A little time apart.

1:31:00 > 1:31:02- Apart?- Yeah, time alone. You and me.

1:31:02 > 1:31:05- Just to think things through. - I'm sorry.

1:31:05 > 1:31:06You've completely lost me.

1:31:06 > 1:31:08We need to spend...

1:31:08 > 1:31:12time apart to think about you and me?

1:31:12 > 1:31:15Yeah.

1:31:15 > 1:31:16Why?

1:31:18 > 1:31:21You're lovely, you're a lovely woman, but you're just not for me.

1:31:23 > 1:31:25I thought you wanted us to be together.

1:31:25 > 1:31:28Married. I don't understand.

1:31:28 > 1:31:30There is nothing to understand, V.

1:31:31 > 1:31:35So, what you just... fell out of love with me?

1:31:37 > 1:31:39Yeah.

1:31:40 > 1:31:44I know it sounds horrible, but that's, you know, that's what's happened.

1:31:44 > 1:31:47What and there's no-one else involved?

1:31:48 > 1:31:50No. Like who?

1:31:53 > 1:31:56- I don't know, you tell me. - V, don't do this, please.

1:31:56 > 1:31:58- There's no-one else involved. - You're lying.

1:31:58 > 1:32:01I swear on Oscar's life, all right? I ain't been near anyone.

1:32:01 > 1:32:03This does not make sense.

1:32:03 > 1:32:07So you're just chucking me out for nothing, eh? Things aren't that bad.

1:32:07 > 1:32:09I've just had enough, all right?

1:32:09 > 1:32:11I should have said something before, but I didn't.

1:32:11 > 1:32:14- You've had enough of what? - What do you want me to say, V?

1:32:14 > 1:32:16All of it!

1:32:16 > 1:32:18Your mad cleaning! Your stupid wedding plans!

1:32:18 > 1:32:22Your perfume! I just don't want any of it any more! Do you understand?!

1:32:22 > 1:32:25It's over, V, all right? Accept it.

1:32:27 > 1:32:29Right, so what am I supposed to do, eh?

1:32:29 > 1:32:33- Just grab my daughter and slink off into the night?- No, course you ain't.

1:32:33 > 1:32:37Oh, right. You're going then, are you? Huh? I didn't think so.

1:32:37 > 1:32:41- Can you just listen to me... - No, you listen to me! I'm not going to take this!

1:32:41 > 1:32:44- You cannot do this! NO! NO! - Can you just calm down?!

1:32:44 > 1:32:48- I know there's someone else involved! Who is it?! You tell me!- There ain't!

1:32:48 > 1:32:50- Tell me her name! - Dad, what's going on?

1:32:50 > 1:32:53Babe, it's nothing for you to worry about. Can you just go back in the kitchen?

1:32:53 > 1:32:58- He's breaking up with me! Your wonderful father is breaking up with me!- V, don't do this, all right?!

1:32:58 > 1:33:01Tell us her name. Go on. You want to be the big man, huh?

1:33:01 > 1:33:04- You want to be honest? Tell us her name. Tell all of us.- Dad?

1:33:04 > 1:33:07It's nothing for you to worry about. Go back in the kitchen.

1:33:07 > 1:33:09- Is this what I think?- It's nothing to do with what you think it is.

1:33:09 > 1:33:12- Whoa, whoa, what did you just say? - She didn't say nothing!

1:33:12 > 1:33:15- Dad, you promised! - Promised? Promised what?

1:33:15 > 1:33:17Lauren, I swear to you. Just get back in the kitchen.

1:33:17 > 1:33:22- Promised what?- He's been seeing Mum. He's been sleeping with Mum. For months.

1:33:22 > 1:33:26For months and months and he promised it was over. He promised.

1:33:38 > 1:33:43V, I can explain, I can explain all of this.

1:33:43 > 1:33:46- You and Tanya? - It's not what it sounds like.

1:33:47 > 1:33:49I love her, V.

1:33:58 > 1:34:00We've got a lot to talk about, I can tell that,

1:34:00 > 1:34:03- but that's why this holiday's come at the perfect time. - DOORBELL

1:34:03 > 1:34:07- Greg, darling.- Look, that's the taxi. Say goodbye to Oscar

1:34:07 > 1:34:09and let's get out of here.

1:34:10 > 1:34:12Listen, we can do our talking on the way there,

1:34:12 > 1:34:17on the plane, in the hotel, in the sea if you really want.

1:34:19 > 1:34:21Going somewhere are you? Holiday for two?

1:34:21 > 1:34:24Sure you don't want to pack my fiance while you're at it?

1:34:24 > 1:34:25VANESSA SCREAMS

1:34:25 > 1:34:28You dirty little slag! You think you can get away with that, do you?!

1:34:28 > 1:34:31You think you can sleep with my man and I won't take you in hand?!

1:34:31 > 1:34:34- Huh?!- Vanessa! Vanessa!

1:34:34 > 1:34:37- I hate you! I hate you! - What do you think you're doing?!

1:34:37 > 1:34:39- Get off her!- I'm going to kill her!

1:34:39 > 1:34:41- What's going on?! - Has she not told you?

1:34:41 > 1:34:43She's been sleeping with her ex.

1:34:43 > 1:34:47With my fiance! For months and months they've been at it behind our backs, behind your back,

1:34:47 > 1:34:50and tonight, he just dumped me, like I was a piece of trash,

1:34:50 > 1:34:54- like I was nothing.- Is this true?

1:34:54 > 1:34:59- Tan! Well, is it true? You and him? - Yes, her and him!

1:34:59 > 1:35:04If you've been wondering why she's been a bit knackered in the bedroom, now you know.

1:35:04 > 1:35:06Vanessa get out. Just get out!

1:35:08 > 1:35:11What are you looking at skank?

1:35:11 > 1:35:13Shut your mouth. Get her out of here.

1:35:13 > 1:35:16You should be ashamed of yourself.

1:35:22 > 1:35:24You all right, Oscar?

1:35:24 > 1:35:27Hello. How you doing? You all right?

1:35:27 > 1:35:30I think you'd better go.

1:35:32 > 1:35:35Look, Tanya ain't to blame for this.

1:35:35 > 1:35:38All right, I started it. I pushed her into it, all right, Greg.

1:35:38 > 1:35:41Leave my house. Now.

1:35:45 > 1:35:46I think you should go.

1:35:52 > 1:35:57- I'll see you soon, OK? - It's all right, darling. Come on.

1:36:10 > 1:36:12She don't want to talk to you. Max!

1:36:12 > 1:36:15If you know what's good for you, you will keep away.

1:36:15 > 1:36:18- Do you mind Jodie, please? - I don't think Mum's in the mood.

1:36:18 > 1:36:20- Just get out will you? The pair of you.- Mum?

1:36:20 > 1:36:23Go to the Vic and order me a double vodka.

1:36:23 > 1:36:25I'll be there in two minutes.

1:36:32 > 1:36:35You say what you gotta say then get out.

1:36:38 > 1:36:41Greg, where you going? No wait, Greg, please...

1:36:41 > 1:36:44I'm going away.

1:36:44 > 1:36:45On holiday. On my own.

1:36:45 > 1:36:49- But, Greg, we should just talk things through, shouldn't we?- Well, why?

1:36:49 > 1:36:51What's there to talk about?

1:36:51 > 1:36:53You don't want me.

1:36:53 > 1:36:55It's over.

1:36:55 > 1:36:56What's left to discuss?

1:36:56 > 1:37:00Well, I don't know, just how you're feeling? Are you going to be OK?

1:37:00 > 1:37:04OK? Well, no, I'm not.

1:37:04 > 1:37:09- But I will be.- Greg, I'm sorry.

1:37:09 > 1:37:11Say goodbye to Oscar for me.

1:37:11 > 1:37:16- Don't you want to do that yourself? - No. You can explain.

1:37:16 > 1:37:19Oh, please, Greg, at least say goodbye to Oscar. Please.

1:37:19 > 1:37:22He loves you. I mean, you're...

1:37:22 > 1:37:24you're like a dad to him.

1:37:24 > 1:37:26Like ain't quite enough.

1:37:47 > 1:37:49What have you done, Mum?

1:37:49 > 1:37:52I mean, what were you thinking?

1:37:52 > 1:37:55I just... I don't want to talk about this right now.

1:37:55 > 1:37:57You lied to me.

1:37:57 > 1:38:01You promised on your life. On your life, Mum. Don't you remember?

1:38:01 > 1:38:03- Yeah, I do remember.- And you don't feel bad about that?!

1:38:03 > 1:38:06I feel sick about that now, Lauren!

1:38:06 > 1:38:08Then why did you do it?

1:38:08 > 1:38:10Was it, was it Dad again?

1:38:10 > 1:38:13What, wouldn't he leave you alone? What was it?!

1:38:13 > 1:38:16I can't talk... I'm really sorry, I can't talk about this.

1:38:16 > 1:38:19Mum, please don't cry. Mum.

1:38:19 > 1:38:21I'm so sorry, girls. I'm so sorry!

1:38:23 > 1:38:27And I've let you down. I'm not fit to be a mother. I don't...

1:38:27 > 1:38:29You deserve more, and I'm sorry.

1:38:29 > 1:38:32No, Mum, don't say that. That's not even true.

1:38:32 > 1:38:34I'm sorry, but it is.

1:38:34 > 1:38:36SHE SOBS

1:38:36 > 1:38:38Sorry.

1:38:40 > 1:38:41OK, come on.

1:38:41 > 1:38:44You need to go. You need to go home.

1:38:46 > 1:38:52And I will talk to you tomorrow, all right? I promise I'll explain everything, I will.

1:38:53 > 1:38:55It's going to be all right.

1:38:55 > 1:38:57It is, babies. It's going to be fine.

1:38:57 > 1:39:01As long as we stick together, yeah? Just like before.

1:39:01 > 1:39:03Us girls.

1:39:03 > 1:39:07And I promise you, I promise you,

1:39:07 > 1:39:09I will never let you down again.

1:39:09 > 1:39:11I promise.

1:39:14 > 1:39:16Come on, go home now.

1:39:16 > 1:39:18It's fine. Go on.

1:39:22 > 1:39:25It's going to be all right, Mum.

1:39:25 > 1:39:26We're going to help you.

1:39:28 > 1:39:31We're going to sort it out, OK?

1:39:52 > 1:39:54Pleased with yourself?

1:39:58 > 1:40:01Why am I always the one that gets left out? The last to know?

1:40:01 > 1:40:03Yes, I know. And you're right,

1:40:03 > 1:40:06but we gotta stop thinking about ourselves and think about Mum.

1:40:06 > 1:40:10Mum? She's been lying to us.

1:40:10 > 1:40:13Because he made her, Abi. He made her.

1:40:13 > 1:40:16What are we going to do?

1:40:16 > 1:40:18I know exactly what we're going to do.

1:40:19 > 1:40:23Lauren. Lauren, what are you doing? Lauren?!

1:40:23 > 1:40:26I just want you to remember, when I next step out of line.

1:40:26 > 1:40:28What you did here, tonight, to Greg.

1:40:28 > 1:40:32Who you don't even like. Look at you on your high horse.

1:40:32 > 1:40:35Ever since our wedding day, you've been hinting he weren't right.

1:40:35 > 1:40:37And I was spot on, wasn't I?

1:40:37 > 1:40:42I know you, girl. I know what goes on up here and down there.

1:40:42 > 1:40:44I know what makes you tick.

1:40:44 > 1:40:46Oh, you know what makes me tick, do you?

1:40:46 > 1:40:48You know me so well, don't you, Mum.

1:40:48 > 1:40:52Well, go on then, tell me. Tell me what's going on right now?

1:40:52 > 1:40:54In here, eh? What am I feeling now?

1:40:54 > 1:40:56You can lash out all you like.

1:40:56 > 1:40:58But you've done this. You.

1:40:58 > 1:41:01You've done it to yourself and that little boy out there.

1:41:01 > 1:41:05Whatever you may think of me, I never cheated on your father.

1:41:05 > 1:41:08How do we know, Mum? You were never there, were you?

1:41:08 > 1:41:12Always out, weren't you? Night after night, getting off your head!

1:41:12 > 1:41:14We were there.

1:41:14 > 1:41:18Left to pick up the pieces. It was me sat by his bed every night.

1:41:18 > 1:41:22There to wipe the sweat off his face at three in the morning.

1:41:22 > 1:41:25His last days, Mum. That was me.

1:41:25 > 1:41:26Me. Where were you?!

1:41:28 > 1:41:31Running away.

1:41:31 > 1:41:34The only time you ever spent at home, you couldn't even look him in the eye.

1:41:34 > 1:41:39- You felt so much pity for him, you were so disgusted by him. - I loved him.

1:41:39 > 1:41:42You didn't love him.

1:41:42 > 1:41:46Not in the end, Mum. You were disgusted by him.

1:41:46 > 1:41:50You pitied him. That's what your love turned into.

1:41:50 > 1:41:53I saw it, Mum.

1:41:53 > 1:41:54I saw it.

1:41:54 > 1:41:57And I will never forget.

1:41:57 > 1:42:01I will never forget the look in that poor man's eye, withering away,

1:42:01 > 1:42:05knowing that the love of his life just felt nothing but pity for him.

1:42:05 > 1:42:07You don't know what you're talking about. You were just a kid.

1:42:07 > 1:42:12I was 13 years old and I knew! I knew, and you knew I knew!

1:42:12 > 1:42:15And that is why you can't wait to jump on my back

1:42:15 > 1:42:17the minute I set a foot out of line!

1:42:17 > 1:42:24You can tell any story you like, but this, all of this, it's down to you!

1:42:27 > 1:42:31- V, where are you going? You can't just walk out. - What, you want me to stay?

1:42:31 > 1:42:32You want to make it up to me, hm?

1:42:33 > 1:42:35No, I didn't think so.

1:42:47 > 1:42:50You all right, girls?

1:42:50 > 1:42:53- HE SIGHS - It's a mess.

1:42:53 > 1:42:55It's a mess, it's all my fault.

1:42:55 > 1:42:57Yeah, we know.

1:42:58 > 1:43:00I don't want you blaming your mum.

1:43:00 > 1:43:03We're were going to come back. We were going to talk about it calmly.

1:43:03 > 1:43:06We were going to sort it all out, in a mature, responsible way.

1:43:06 > 1:43:08Well, you did a good job of that, didn't you?

1:43:08 > 1:43:10Greg's gone and Mum's in tears.

1:43:10 > 1:43:12I'm going to go and talk to her, work it out.

1:43:15 > 1:43:19The most important thing through all of this is that me and your mum, we love each other.

1:43:19 > 1:43:24Look, I know this is horrible, I know it is. But it's gonna be worth it in the end,

1:43:24 > 1:43:27because we'll all be together again, how we used to be...

1:43:29 > 1:43:31- ..before it all went wrong. - Before you made it go wrong.

1:43:33 > 1:43:36Well, yeah, yeah, before I made it go wrong.

1:43:36 > 1:43:38Just like you're doing now.

1:43:38 > 1:43:42- No, babe, this is different now. - That's not what Mum said.

1:43:42 > 1:43:45She didn't know what she thought. She was scared, but now all this has happened.

1:43:45 > 1:43:49She doesn't want to know, Dad! And neither do we

1:43:54 > 1:43:56And what's this?

1:43:56 > 1:43:59It's a bag with your stuff in.

1:43:59 > 1:44:01Clothes, shaving stuff.

1:44:01 > 1:44:04There's some money. Anything we could find. It's all in there.

1:44:04 > 1:44:05And where am I supposed to go?

1:44:05 > 1:44:07Away.

1:44:07 > 1:44:10Away from here. Away from the Square.

1:44:10 > 1:44:12From Mum.

1:44:12 > 1:44:15- From us.- What, just like that?

1:44:15 > 1:44:18Yes. We don't want you!

1:44:18 > 1:44:22We don't want you near us, near our mum, near our brother.

1:44:22 > 1:44:25Because you ain't a proper dad.

1:44:25 > 1:44:27You just hurt people.

1:44:27 > 1:44:32You hurt us since we were little girls and we ain't going to take it any more. Are we?

1:44:32 > 1:44:34Are we, Abi?

1:44:40 > 1:44:41- Abs?- Abi.

1:44:47 > 1:44:49She's right.

1:44:49 > 1:44:52She's right. We don't want to know you any more, Dad.

1:44:52 > 1:44:55We'd like you to just go, please.

1:44:55 > 1:44:57Please, just for a bit.

1:44:57 > 1:44:59Forever.

1:45:03 > 1:45:04Please, Dad.

1:45:04 > 1:45:09Far away, so we can't even see you, so we can just forget about you.

1:45:16 > 1:45:19Look, I'm going to talk to your Mum.

1:45:22 > 1:45:24It's...it's going to be all right.

1:45:27 > 1:45:29Don't forget your bag.

1:45:31 > 1:45:33Can you just take it?

1:45:35 > 1:45:36Bye, Dad.

1:45:41 > 1:45:43DOOR SLAMS

1:45:53 > 1:45:58You think you can get rid of me? I'm going to stick around, whether you like it or not.

1:45:58 > 1:46:04You messed up your life, girl, and I'm going to help you put it back together. Now dry your eyes.

1:46:04 > 1:46:07You've got a kid out there needs looking after.

1:46:07 > 1:46:09DOORBELL

1:46:13 > 1:46:16Oi, Max. Max, I don't think you should be here, do you?

1:46:16 > 1:46:18- Everyone's well upset. - I know, I just...

1:46:18 > 1:46:20I just need to talk to her.

1:46:20 > 1:46:23Come back tomorrow.

1:46:23 > 1:46:24Cora, I can't do that, babe.

1:46:24 > 1:46:26I need to talk to her now, please.

1:46:28 > 1:46:32Don't upset her any more than she is already.

1:46:32 > 1:46:35You can talk to her, and then you can go.

1:46:42 > 1:46:45You shouldn't be here, Max. I mean it. You need to go.

1:46:48 > 1:46:49What do you mean go. Go where?

1:46:49 > 1:46:52Home. Just go home. Talk to the girls.

1:46:52 > 1:46:55Well, seems like you've already done that.

1:46:55 > 1:46:58- I'll set 'em straight tomorrow. - No, I don't want you to.

1:47:00 > 1:47:03This is all down to me. I know,

1:47:03 > 1:47:06because I wouldn't give up on you, would I? I still can't.

1:47:09 > 1:47:14- I love you, Tanya.- No. - I love you. I love you completely, totally, with everything.

1:47:16 > 1:47:21Babe, look, you just got scared, didn't you? I dealt with it badly, I know, but we're here now.

1:47:21 > 1:47:25Greg knows, Vanessa knows, so there's nothing to stop us, is there?

1:47:27 > 1:47:31Babe, there's nothing to stop us being together, is there? Tell me.

1:47:31 > 1:47:34- It's too late.- What does that mean? Too late? What does that mean?

1:47:34 > 1:47:42- I can't...- Babe, what changed between this morning and now?

1:47:42 > 1:47:44What happened?

1:47:44 > 1:47:46I can't.

1:47:46 > 1:47:49- Why not?- I just can't.

1:47:51 > 1:47:54So is that it? Are we over, yeah?

1:47:54 > 1:47:57There's no chance?

1:48:07 > 1:48:09The girls gave me that bag.

1:48:10 > 1:48:13Told me to go.

1:48:13 > 1:48:16They don't want me to be part of their lives.

1:48:17 > 1:48:21I mean, is that right? Is that what you want? Do you want me to go?

1:48:22 > 1:48:24No. I mean, you live here, this is your home.

1:48:24 > 1:48:27You've got the kids here, business, family...

1:48:27 > 1:48:29You're the only one that matters. Do you want me to stay?

1:48:29 > 1:48:33- Well, stay for them. - They don't want me to stay, do they?

1:48:35 > 1:48:38Tanya, you tell me, you tell me that you don't love me.

1:48:38 > 1:48:41And I swear, I swear I'll walk out the door and I won't come back.

1:48:44 > 1:48:48Tell me. Go on. If you don't, then I'm going to stay.

1:48:48 > 1:48:51And you and me, we're going to be together.

1:48:53 > 1:48:57Just tell me, Tan, please? Tell me one way or the other, please.

1:48:58 > 1:48:59I don't love you.

1:49:05 > 1:49:07And you mean that?

1:49:08 > 1:49:10I don't love you.

1:49:17 > 1:49:19That's fine.

1:49:22 > 1:49:25I'll go and... I won't bother you again.

1:49:47 > 1:49:48CAR ALARM DISARMS

1:50:59 > 1:51:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:51:01 > 1:51:03E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk