18/12/2011

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Shouldn't leave your door open, Shirl - not round here,

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Anyone can get in, can't they? Help themselves to anything.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Phil?

0:01:11 > 0:01:13I'd have had a look around, but...

0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Ben? Jay?- Do you think someone's broken in?

0:01:16 > 0:01:19What if they're still here, Shirl?

0:01:19 > 0:01:24They're going to get their jacksies kicked in. Phil couldn't have shut the door properly.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Yeah, he's got a lot on his mind at the moment.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Yeah.- All the police and all that lot.- Yeah.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Beating up young girls.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34That's not what happened.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52What you looking at?

0:01:52 > 0:01:53Nothing.

0:02:00 > 0:02:03You got something on your mind an' all?

0:02:03 > 0:02:06- You've got real charm about you today.- Just leave it, will ya.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09- Yeah, I do that a lot. And look where that gets us.- Meaning?

0:02:09 > 0:02:12Carry on like this, you're going to be Public Enemy Number One.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14I'm bricking it, aren't I(!)

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- OK. Maybe you just don't care. - What, about a bunch of losers?

0:02:17 > 0:02:20You got four businesses on this Square. You need those losers.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23I'm supposed to go round on bended knee apologising to everyone?

0:02:23 > 0:02:27No. Just smile.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29At our Christmas party, tonight.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32What Christmas party? I said what Christmas party?

0:02:42 > 0:02:46Pops? Nan got you that, didn't she?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Yeah.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Still, won't need it where you're going.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54What is the going rate for handling stolen goods these days?

0:02:54 > 0:02:57I wasn't handling them. I mean, not in that way.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59I mean, I know it had my prints on.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01So why can't you just tell 'em who's really in the frame?

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Because you don't do that, Lola.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06But Pops, this isn't fair.

0:03:06 > 0:03:07No, I know it ain't.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15And a book of second class stamps, please. Six.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19Oh, no, make it twelve. Make it first class.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21So what, you writing to Santa?

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Just a few cards, you know.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Well, there's no Christmas wish list for me this year.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29This Christmas everything is coming my way.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32You heard Rose said, it's written in the stars.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36My Mr Right is just about to walk through that door.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40Here Hev, you missed a good night, Friday. Rose did a Tarot reading.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Yeah. One of us is going to find true love.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46And you reckon it's you, do you?

0:03:46 > 0:03:47No. I reckon Jean.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49No, I don't think so.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Well, nothing like that ever happens to me.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Well, better keep my eyes peeled.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57See if I can see any knights on white chargers.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00- I'm so sorry. - Oh. I'm so sorry.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Let me help you.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04I'm sorry. So sorry.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06There you go.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11- 'Scuse me.- Yes?

0:04:14 > 0:04:15- You left this.- Thanks.

0:04:22 > 0:04:23That's a stupid idea.

0:04:23 > 0:04:29I'm going to invite Jack and his brother. Maybe you can invite Ian.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32All right, get Ben to ask Ian.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35Then there's Denise, Patrick. Who else you upset?

0:04:35 > 0:04:38No, don't answer, silly question, let's just invite everyone

0:04:38 > 0:04:43in the phone book shall we, that should just about cover it.

0:04:43 > 0:04:45What else does this bloke know, eh?

0:04:45 > 0:04:49- I've done a lot things. - Just trust me.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53- This could be the end of me. The end of us.- It won't.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55All that with Lola.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58That's one of the reasons I'm doing this.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02You don't still think...?

0:05:02 > 0:05:04She just smelt trouble and chanced her arm.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08She don't know anything. Whoever's behind this, it ain't her.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15This what came earlier?

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Found it on the floor.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27"Hope you get everything you deserve.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29"Happy Christmas."

0:05:30 > 0:05:32It will be.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Once I bury whoever sent this.

0:05:37 > 0:05:42- You sure about this?- Yeah. It's Christmas, innit. It's traditional.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46- Packing the house with tat? - Cora, this ain't tat, babe. It's fun.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49What is fun? What time is it?

0:05:49 > 0:05:52All right, Tan. I was just going to come and get you.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54CHRISTMAS JINGLE PLAYS >

0:05:54 > 0:05:57One of the market boys had it all rigged up on his stall.

0:05:57 > 0:06:01- All singing all dancing, he is. Check this out.- Oh, Max!

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Go on, son!

0:06:03 > 0:06:07SANTA SHORT CIRCUITS

0:06:26 > 0:06:28- I didn't say nothing. - Yeah, too right.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- I've been banged up all night. - It weren't me that left your prints on the gear.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35- You're the one that messed up. - I could go down for this.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38- Might do you some good.- What? - Teach you some manners.

0:06:38 > 0:06:43Right, for once in my life I don't roll over when you say so and you don't like it?

0:06:43 > 0:06:46- You ain't going to swing for this. - No, neither are you.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49- They'd throw the book at me, wouldn't they?- Yeah, me an' all.

0:06:49 > 0:06:53And I'm about to have a great-grandkid to look after.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55You know the score.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58Lola can't look after herself and a baby, she needs me.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00And no, I didn't expect you to hold your hands up for it.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03But I didn't expect you to leave me roasting neither!

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Hang on a second. Hang on. I didn't quite catch that.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10I'm just saying, it's just not like you, that's all.

0:07:10 > 0:07:15- It's nothing I can't handle. Or are you saying something different? - No. No.

0:07:15 > 0:07:20Good. Now shut the door on your way out, cos there's a draught in here.

0:07:40 > 0:07:45I don't think she was talking about me though. Do you?

0:07:45 > 0:07:50I mean, that kind of thing, true romance.

0:07:50 > 0:07:54It doesn't happen twice, not to people like me, anyway.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Course it does.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59- It's him.- Who?

0:07:59 > 0:08:03The bloke I was telling you about. The one I bumped into when I dropped my shopping.

0:08:03 > 0:08:08- Should book the church then. I'll buy myself a new hat(!) - He's coming over.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11- 'Scuse me.- That's what you said before.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13In the Minute Mart.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15When I dropped the stamps.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20You said excuse me.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23I was wondering if you served food?

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Not for another hour yet.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28I could probably rustle something up though.

0:08:28 > 0:08:29If it's no trouble.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Thank you.

0:08:35 > 0:08:40- Bit short notice, ain't it? - You doing something else?- What, apart from avoiding my new lodger?

0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Shouldn't be a problem then? - What's this in aid of?

0:08:42 > 0:08:45Why's it have to be in aid of anything? It's Christmas.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Jingle bells, goodwill to all men an' all that.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51And a way of saying sorry about the flat.

0:08:51 > 0:08:55You don't seem to want to accept our hospitality. What's bothering you?

0:08:55 > 0:09:00What, apart from you making it sound more like an execution than a knees-up, you mean? No, ta.

0:09:03 > 0:09:04Ben.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06What was that all about?

0:09:06 > 0:09:10Don't know and don't care. Phil Mitchell playing mine host.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13That's like North Korea throwing a party for the South.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Let's not be too hasty.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17- Close?- Yeah.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20As in shut up shop. Right now.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23- What do you think Dad'll say? - I'm doing this for your dad.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25I'll need your help an' all.

0:09:25 > 0:09:26No, I'm going to go R&R.

0:09:26 > 0:09:31- I thought you were turning over a new leaf?- Well... - You can start now.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39Can't he even put up a bit of tinsel?

0:09:39 > 0:09:42It does me good, keeps me occupied.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44You need to rest.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Will you stop fussing?

0:09:46 > 0:09:48I'm serious. You're going to need all your strength...

0:09:48 > 0:09:51For heaven's sake!

0:09:51 > 0:09:54Take it easy, will you?

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Actually I've got a surprise for you.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07Cora, give me a hand with this will you, please?

0:10:07 > 0:10:12- What with?- Well, if I tell ya, it won't be a surprise, will it?

0:10:12 > 0:10:13Thank you.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Jean, I reckon he's following you.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28- Stop it.- He's met you in the Minute Mart and he's asked round.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30You're getting me all in a tizz.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32He ain't following her.

0:10:32 > 0:10:33Why not?

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Well look at him, he's seriously hot.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37- And Jean ain't? - Course I'm not.

0:10:37 > 0:10:38Jean!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40I can be warm sometimes.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Warm?- I reckon you're just jealous. - What?

0:10:43 > 0:10:47Yeah, just cos it's not written in the stars for you to meet someone like that.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Hey look, I don't need nothing written in no stars.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53If I want a fella, I go and get the fella.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55I did see him first.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00OK. You try. And then I'll show you how it's done.

0:11:05 > 0:11:09It's all going to kick off at six, I need you to help me do the grub.

0:11:09 > 0:11:14Well, open a few bags of crisps anyway.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17What's the matter, Hev? You away with the fairies?

0:11:17 > 0:11:20You can bring George.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24Or maybe you don't want to.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Maybe you don't want to be there at all, is that right?

0:11:26 > 0:11:28I didn't say that.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Is this because of Phil?

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Oh, come on Hev, you're my mate. my best mate.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- I know.- If you're thinking this, what's the rest of the Square going to think?

0:11:37 > 0:11:40So this is all about making people like him again, is it?

0:11:40 > 0:11:42I've got to get him back, Hev.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Back to what he was before all this happened.

0:11:45 > 0:11:46You don't know him,

0:11:46 > 0:11:50not really. I know he comes across as a 'ard nut and most of the time he is

0:11:50 > 0:11:53but someone's playing him and it's messing with his head.

0:11:53 > 0:11:59The old Phil, he would never go near a kid like Lola, let alone...

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Anyway, that's my problem.

0:12:02 > 0:12:08Which makes it my problem too. Course I'll be there.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11Not sure the rest of the Square'll be too keen though.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14I've thought of that.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Yeah, I told him what I thought. I reckon he got the message.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Oh yeah, really guilty conscience. Tormented he was.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23You know he's throwing a party tonight, right?

0:12:23 > 0:12:26Shirley was just over the caff inviting everyone.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28- You what? - Yeah, it's nice that, innit?

0:12:28 > 0:12:33While you're banged up in some stinking rotten cell, he's over there getting into party mode.

0:12:39 > 0:12:40How was it?

0:12:40 > 0:12:42Really good. All your own work?

0:12:42 > 0:12:44With these fair hands.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48- Very professional.- Oh, you'd be surprised what I can turn them to.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52I do a sausage surprise to die for. Not here, at home.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54You do catering at home?

0:12:54 > 0:12:58Oh no, only for family. And friends. Good friends.

0:12:59 > 0:13:00I like friends.

0:13:00 > 0:13:06Especially the good friends. Not the bad ones, which is silly really,

0:13:06 > 0:13:09because the bad friends wouldn't be friends at all, would they?

0:13:09 > 0:13:11I'll just take...

0:13:22 > 0:13:28- So, did he ask you out?- No.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Right then.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33My turn.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- You want us to close?- Yeah. Only for one night.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42- Hev, go and get some booze. - What do I say to Phil when he comes for his rent?

0:13:42 > 0:13:46I'll sort him out. And tell your punters if they want to get hammered to come to ours later.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49We're having a party.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53I see. So the only way to get anyone round your place is to close this.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01You got rid of her then?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Gave her a score, told her to go and get a drink.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Then she took a tenner more.

0:14:07 > 0:14:11Babe, I only wanted a bit of peace and quiet to sort this Santa out.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Mmm, stop her going on about my treatment.

0:14:14 > 0:14:18- It's just her way.- She's doing everyone's head in. - You know what she's like.

0:14:18 > 0:14:23Something's on her mind, she goes on and on about it, don't she?

0:14:23 > 0:14:28Fuses, from the Minute Mart, might do the trick, mightn't they?

0:14:28 > 0:14:33You're the opposite. Something's on your mind you don't say a word.

0:14:39 > 0:14:42- It's you, isn't it?- What?

0:14:42 > 0:14:44- It's you?- Who?

0:14:44 > 0:14:45- The ex-footballer? - What footballer?

0:14:45 > 0:14:47The good-looking one.

0:14:47 > 0:14:52I tell you what, he falls for that, give up on him anyway.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Shut up, I'm writing it down. - I really wasn't a footballer.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Yeah, and you're not from the Good Food Guide neither?

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Actually, I rather enjoyed it.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02You can do a lot better than that around here.

0:15:02 > 0:15:06I dunno, maybe I should do my bit for the local economy and, um, show you.

0:15:06 > 0:15:11The chef here seems quite good. I take it she is the chef, the lady who just served me?

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Chef?

0:15:13 > 0:15:16Queen of the Microwave more like.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18So like I was saying...

0:15:18 > 0:15:20So, she's not the chef, she's just helping out?

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Jean's her name, yeah?

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Only I'm sure I heard the landlady calling her that earlier on.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Get your coat. I reckon you've pulled.

0:15:28 > 0:15:32No she ain't, not tonight. Not in here anyway. Listen up. We're closing up.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35- What?- Terrific(!)

0:15:35 > 0:15:37I get chucked out of Tanya's, and now I'm turfed out the boozer.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Why?- You've all been invited to a party across the road.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42At Phil and Shirley's.

0:15:42 > 0:15:47- The Mitchell's doing something for Christmas. About time. - And that means all of you.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53I still don't see the point in all this.

0:15:53 > 0:15:54Hopefully you will.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57When everyone starts singing, For He's A Jolly Good Fellow?

0:15:57 > 0:15:59You're losing it.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02- Who's doing all this aggro, Phil? - I don't know.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05It's got to be someone on the Square, and they're watching you.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Most of them are coming here tonight, what better way of finding out?

0:16:08 > 0:16:11That's even more stupid than me trying to win a popularity contest.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14We sit. We watch. And we listen.

0:16:14 > 0:16:18And maybe whoever's doing this won't be able to resist planting or nicking something.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22Yeah, and maybe whoever it is doesn't bother turning up at all.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Great(!) Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.

0:16:29 > 0:16:34- Oh, shut up and sort the drinks out. - I've been to funerals that are more fun than this.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Yeah, well, if you carry on,

0:16:36 > 0:16:38you'll be going to one sooner than you think.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42I told you they wouldn't be able to resist, didn't I?

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Lo?

0:16:53 > 0:16:57- You going out?- Let's see how much he enjoys his party once I get there.

0:16:57 > 0:17:01- I've had my say about all of that. - Yeah, and he's totally ignored you.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03So now it's time for me to have my say.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07You've just come out of hospital, you're in no fit state to go spoiling for a row.

0:17:07 > 0:17:13- We just let him get away with it, yeah?- No. Just wait a minute. Lo. Just wait, wait.

0:17:13 > 0:17:17Just sit down with me, eh? For five minutes, please?

0:17:21 > 0:17:22Thank you.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27- Now, you can help me decorate our tree. - We ain't got a tree.

0:17:33 > 0:17:38- If that's a present from Phil, you can give me the hammer.- No. No.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40It's from Father Christmas, innit.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Well, one of his little helpers anyway.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44You mean a knock-off.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47They were only going to chuck them out.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Come on, Lo.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Christmas is coming up.

0:17:51 > 0:17:57I just thought this'd make the place look a bit nicer, you know.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59I know it ain't exactly going to be a dream Christmas.

0:17:59 > 0:18:02No it won't. Not with all this going on.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Right, let's make the most of it, yeah?

0:18:08 > 0:18:10- Go on, pass me some tinsel.- Yeah?

0:18:14 > 0:18:17Do you think your mum's right?

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Do you think we should just take him back.

0:18:19 > 0:18:20I dunno, he's growing on me.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23He's ugly though, ain't he?

0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Once you look at him. - Yeah, so are you.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28I bet all these bulbs are well past their sell-by.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32There's bits of you don't work so good, you're lucky no-one's trying to take you back.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35Blimey, look who's talking.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38It's all right. You can do it you know.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Take the mick.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43Yeah, I know. Cheers.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49They say, don't they. This sort of thing's harder on the relatives.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52Well, I ain't a relative. I'm your husband.

0:18:52 > 0:18:56- Not any more.- Well, I told you when I came back, I am.

0:18:56 > 0:19:01I am in here anyway. You're still my wife.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03For richer or poorer.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Sickness and in health.

0:19:05 > 0:19:10That's what we said, innit? Remember?

0:19:10 > 0:19:12You don't think, do you, at the time?

0:19:12 > 0:19:15You make all those promises, don't expect to have to call them in.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20Yeah, I've broken a few of those promises. I know I have.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23But I ain't going to break this one,

0:19:23 > 0:19:27I'm here and I ain't walking out on ya.

0:19:29 > 0:19:30I'm scared.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34Tan, I know.

0:19:37 > 0:19:38Are you?

0:19:41 > 0:19:44You can say it In fact, I think I'd prefer it.

0:19:44 > 0:19:49Then I wouldn't feel like the only one who was being weak and pathetic.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Yeah, I'm scared too.

0:20:06 > 0:20:11I can't believe I let you drag me along to this.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Free booze. We've got to show him he doesn't frighten us.

0:20:14 > 0:20:19Whatever game he's playing, we've got to rise above it.

0:20:19 > 0:20:20Yeah. And free booze.

0:20:27 > 0:20:28- All right?- Yeah.

0:20:30 > 0:20:31Nice, ain't it.

0:20:31 > 0:20:34- Yeah, that's one word for it. - I can think of a few others.

0:20:34 > 0:20:38- Such as?- Interesting.

0:20:38 > 0:20:39- Unexpected.- Bit of a surprise.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42That's what I thought when I had the Old Bill knocking at my door.

0:20:42 > 0:20:46- Way I heard it they were kicking the door in.- You get a lot of inside information?

0:20:46 > 0:20:48You trying to say something to me?

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Just making conversation. Scotch Egg? Sausage roll?

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Oh, don't mind if I do.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57Go on, it won't choke you.

0:21:01 > 0:21:02Thanks.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04- Go and talk to him. - What do I say?

0:21:04 > 0:21:06You ain't got to say nothing.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10It's obvious he's interested, he'll be doing all the running.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Oh, it's all right for you. you've got a bloke.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18- And he worships the ground that you walk on. - Come on, you dozy mare.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Kat.- All right? Enjoy the grub?

0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Yeah, it was very nice. - Going to compliment the chef?

0:21:25 > 0:21:26So you are the actual chef then?

0:21:26 > 0:21:31You know what they say, the way to a man's heart and all that.

0:21:31 > 0:21:36I don't believe this, talk about a pair of shrinking violets.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38- Do you fancy her?- Kat! - What?

0:21:38 > 0:21:44It's obvious you do, so why don't you ask her out before she runs away and you completely run out of nerve.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47I'm so, so sorry about this. I don't believe you sometimes.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51- I think you've got the wrong end of the stick.- Excuse me,

0:21:51 > 0:21:54when it comes to this sort of thing, I'm a Mastermind on it.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56I'm really not, um...

0:21:56 > 0:21:58- Not, um, what?- Interested. Well, not like that.

0:21:58 > 0:22:03- Why all them questions then?- Mo! - Are you messing her about?

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- No.- Well, you was asking motormouth there about her.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08I'm a....

0:22:08 > 0:22:09What?

0:22:09 > 0:22:11A timewaster?

0:22:11 > 0:22:13A benefits fraud officer.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Benefits fraud?

0:22:19 > 0:22:21And you've been working while claiming benefit.

0:22:21 > 0:22:24- I have not.- Excuse me, I saw you with my own eyes.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26And your employer's just confirmed it.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29I can't stand a scrounger.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Scrounger?

0:22:34 > 0:22:37But I haven't been making any claim.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47See, told you I'd get him working.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Can we do a deal?

0:22:55 > 0:22:58I'll be honest with you, I want you to be honest with me.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02I knew it, you do hate Santa.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Do you ever think this could be it?

0:23:13 > 0:23:17- Our last Christmas together? - Tan, please...

0:23:22 > 0:23:25Yeah.

0:23:25 > 0:23:26Yeah, I do.

0:23:29 > 0:23:30Do you want out?

0:23:32 > 0:23:35Cos it's OK, I meant what I said when you came back,

0:23:35 > 0:23:39I'm not lumbering you with an invalid.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41What if it was me who was ill?

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Same question. Would you want out?

0:23:48 > 0:23:50I don't know.

0:23:52 > 0:23:57I don't know if I could...

0:24:00 > 0:24:01No.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08That's my answer too.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22I'm starting to enjoy this.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25I reckon I've sussed what this is all about.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27- Really? Good. Let's go home then. - I'm right behind you.

0:24:27 > 0:24:30This is some kind of St Valentine's Day Massacre.

0:24:30 > 0:24:34- Get everyone you've ever had a ruck with under one roof. - And machine gun 'em?

0:24:34 > 0:24:37No. Well, one of us anyway.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40The guilty party.

0:24:40 > 0:24:45- The one with something to hide.- What? - Phil's been getting hate mail and he don't know who's been sending it.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Chuck a stone. You'll hit about fifty suspects.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51So that's what this is all about? Try and smoke one out?

0:24:51 > 0:24:55Yeah. It's like one of them Agatha Christie novels, ain't it?

0:24:55 > 0:24:59Actually, I was thinking of someone else.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00I can't believe you've done this to me.

0:25:00 > 0:25:04I wasn't ripping you off. Not really.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06I was just using your name.

0:25:06 > 0:25:10We'll tell that to the judge! Don't bang her up, just put her name on the cell door!

0:25:10 > 0:25:13- No-one's getting banged up.- Did you see the look on that snout's face?

0:25:13 > 0:25:15I wouldn't trust him.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18You was pushing Jean into his arms five minutes ago.

0:25:18 > 0:25:22Now look what you've done. Jean!

0:25:24 > 0:25:27Right, let's cut to the chase.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30I'm not apologising for it, Phil.

0:25:30 > 0:25:34You've given enough people grief in the past and loved every minute of it.

0:25:34 > 0:25:38So, seeing you get wound up, it's like all my Christmases have come at once.

0:25:38 > 0:25:43But what happened with Lola, that's not right. She's just a kid.

0:25:43 > 0:25:47So it's me who's been sending you all those letters. I'm the one who's responsible.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50Nah, no, hold up. This has got nothing to do with him.

0:25:50 > 0:25:51It was me.

0:25:51 > 0:25:55No. No, Jack. Falling on your sword for your brother. Very noble,

0:25:55 > 0:25:59but I'd never forgive myself. Phil, I'm Spartacus.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02No, no, no, no, come on, I'm Spartacus.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04No, Phil, don't listen to them. I'm Spartacus.

0:26:04 > 0:26:05You're hysterical.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10I saw a programme about him once.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12He got crucified didn't he?

0:26:18 > 0:26:22Look, they'll just get Nan to pay it back on the drip that's all.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24It's my name on the benefits book.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27She will not let you take the rap.

0:26:27 > 0:26:31Then again this is Nan we're talking about, she might,

0:26:31 > 0:26:32but we won't let her.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36- Everyone thinks I'm a cheat. - No, they don't.- You heard Cora.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39I'll explain it to them.

0:26:39 > 0:26:42How can I carry on living here, Kat?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44When everyone's going to think that of me?

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Right, come on Jean. Come on.

0:26:48 > 0:26:49- How?- Get that down you.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55Well I'm relieved. Well, wouldn't you be?

0:26:55 > 0:27:00I thought it was going to be a straight fight back there, me and Jean.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02Is that it?

0:27:02 > 0:27:04What?

0:27:04 > 0:27:06Jean has just been totally humiliated

0:27:06 > 0:27:09in front of her whole family. and her neighbours on the Square.

0:27:09 > 0:27:14She's just found out she's going to be prosecuted for benefit fraud

0:27:14 > 0:27:18and all you can say is, I'm relieved?

0:27:18 > 0:27:20- Well, I am.- You are so shallow sometimes.

0:27:20 > 0:27:24Look, I ain't shallow, yeah. I've got depths, yeah.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27Deep depths. Moby Dick couldn't get to the bottom of my depths.

0:27:27 > 0:27:28He wouldn't want to!

0:27:28 > 0:27:33Ah, somebody's sent me a present. Come to Mama.

0:27:40 > 0:27:45- There's plenty of grub left. - Yeah, course there is. Everyone's gone home, ain't they.

0:27:45 > 0:27:46It was a nice idea, Shirl.

0:27:46 > 0:27:50No, it wasn't, it was a bad one. A very bad one.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53HEATHER CHOKING >

0:27:53 > 0:27:56Shirl!

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Phil. Phil, get Hev's inhaler out of her bag.

0:27:58 > 0:28:00What a day I'm having.

0:28:00 > 0:28:03Worst party ever, now my best mate's choking on a scotch egg!

0:28:05 > 0:28:07Get it up.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32What are "repossession proceedings"?

0:28:32 > 0:28:35You shouldn't read other people's letters.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38It means if Nanna Pat don't pay the loan company by Friday,

0:28:38 > 0:28:40we're out on the streets.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42- Liam!- It's true, though, innit, Nan?

0:28:46 > 0:28:49- I should've throttled her. - That would've been one for the scrapbook.

0:28:49 > 0:28:50Dunno why I let you stop me.

0:28:50 > 0:28:54Because throttling guests, as a rule, doesn't make a party go with a swing.

0:28:54 > 0:28:58- They say, "Look for someone with a motive." She definitely had a motive.- Phil!

0:28:58 > 0:29:01- What?- All the people you've hacked off over the years, everybody had a motive.

0:29:01 > 0:29:04But they didn't have these in their handbag.

0:29:04 > 0:29:07Let me do this one more time...

0:29:07 > 0:29:10Heather is a bear with a very little brain.

0:29:10 > 0:29:12She was put on this earth to suffer.

0:29:12 > 0:29:14She doesn't do revenge, she moans.

0:29:14 > 0:29:17The idea that she'd have the nous to go to a printer's

0:29:17 > 0:29:19and get all these fancy letters and labels,

0:29:19 > 0:29:22when she could be at home sucking on a cheese sandwich,

0:29:22 > 0:29:24watching Britain's Next Top Model, is ludicrous.

0:29:24 > 0:29:27So according to you, there's some criminal mastermind

0:29:27 > 0:29:31going round deliberately planting all this evidence - to do what, hmm? Make me paranoid?

0:29:31 > 0:29:35Well, someone's definitely playing you. So far, they're doing a good job.

0:29:35 > 0:29:39- Should've let me have a quiet word with her.- Two minutes ago, you wanted to throttle her.

0:29:39 > 0:29:43- Then we wouldn't be having this conversation.- Last night you agreed she was set up -

0:29:43 > 0:29:45what's changed since now and then?

0:29:45 > 0:29:49- It's doing my head in - that's what's changed! - Let me go and speak to her.

0:29:49 > 0:29:52- She won't tell the truth!- She might give us a clue to who's behind it.

0:29:52 > 0:29:55Well, why didn't we do that last night, eh?

0:29:55 > 0:29:58Because the chances are, whoever's doing this

0:29:58 > 0:30:01was here last night and that's exactly what they wanted.

0:30:08 > 0:30:11Just take a deep breath. Think of your blood pressure.

0:30:20 > 0:30:24Phil, don't do anything. Let me go talk to Heather.

0:30:24 > 0:30:26I'll sort it out.

0:30:33 > 0:30:34The car?

0:30:34 > 0:30:38A certain young lady was sick on my back seat last night.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40Talking about you, young lady.

0:30:40 > 0:30:44Yeah! It stinks in there, so if you could work your magic, Heather,

0:30:44 > 0:30:46that'd be much appreciated.

0:30:46 > 0:30:48- Yeah, all right, yeah.- Cheers.

0:30:48 > 0:30:49Bye, Amy.

0:30:50 > 0:30:52Come on. This ain't the deal, is it?

0:30:52 > 0:30:54Eh?

0:30:55 > 0:30:58Ain't going to get any toast if you don't eat any of this.

0:31:00 > 0:31:04No? For Daddy? Should Daddy do it? Yeah?

0:31:05 > 0:31:06Then you do it, yeah?

0:31:33 > 0:31:35- Is that Heather?- Ah!

0:31:37 > 0:31:39Sorry. You all right?

0:31:40 > 0:31:43Andrew! What you doing here?

0:31:43 > 0:31:47- Don't worry - you're safe. I've just popped to see me mum. She in?- Er...

0:31:47 > 0:31:49That's never your car, is it?

0:31:49 > 0:31:54Oh. No, no, It's the bloke I clean for.

0:31:54 > 0:31:57His daughter was sick in it last night.

0:31:57 > 0:31:59Lovely.

0:32:02 > 0:32:03I'll let you get on.

0:32:14 > 0:32:16Ahh!

0:32:16 > 0:32:19- Hold tight. Your mum showed me a picture of you.- Who are you?

0:32:19 > 0:32:21- Fat Boy.- What'd you say?

0:32:21 > 0:32:24- Me Fat Boy, you Andrew, right? - Is she in or what?

0:32:24 > 0:32:28She's in, but she's on her way out. Those presents for me, then, yeah?

0:32:29 > 0:32:34All right, cool. Well, Mrs B's in the living room so if you want to go through, that's cool.

0:32:34 > 0:32:37I might see you la... Maybe not, OK.

0:32:37 > 0:32:39Ah! Yo, Hev!

0:32:39 > 0:32:43You are looking too good, too early, girl! Loving your work!

0:32:43 > 0:32:45FAT BOY CHUCKLES

0:32:49 > 0:32:53Wha'?! Check you, Little Miss Fabulous!

0:32:53 > 0:32:56You are looking good, girl, looking...good.

0:33:03 > 0:33:04Heather!

0:33:04 > 0:33:05Ow!

0:33:08 > 0:33:10Can I have a quiet word?

0:33:10 > 0:33:13- DOT:- 'It's lovely to see you, but why didn't you telephone,'

0:33:13 > 0:33:17let us know you was coming? Rose and me, we're off to Oxford Street to look at the lights.

0:33:17 > 0:33:19- Rose!- She's upstairs, then?

0:33:19 > 0:33:21Yeah, I'll get her for you. Rose!

0:33:21 > 0:33:24You'll never guess who's here...

0:33:30 > 0:33:33SHIRLEY: If you know anything, Hev, it's best to get it out now. >

0:33:33 > 0:33:36Cos you really don't want to have this conversation with Phil.

0:33:36 > 0:33:40I haven't got a clue what you're talking about, Shirl! >

0:33:40 > 0:33:43If you know anything, it's better to tell me now than later.

0:33:43 > 0:33:47- I'm not admitting to nothing, cos I ain't done nothing.- Who put them there - the envelope fairy?

0:33:47 > 0:33:50- They were found in your bag! - Is there a problem?

0:33:50 > 0:33:53Well, well, well, look who it is - Humpty Dumpty.

0:33:53 > 0:33:57- What you doing here?- Do you really need to use that tone of voice?

0:33:57 > 0:34:00- Andrew, leave it, please. - No, good manners cost nothing.

0:34:00 > 0:34:03YOU talk to me about manners?

0:34:03 > 0:34:05- Hev?- It's fine.

0:34:05 > 0:34:08You should be grateful it's me talking to you, and not Phil.

0:34:13 > 0:34:16- What was all that about? - HEATHER SIGHS

0:34:16 > 0:34:19- Andrew!- We'll talk later, yeah?

0:34:19 > 0:34:21She's got it wrong. I ain't done nothing.

0:34:21 > 0:34:23I'm sure you ain't.

0:34:23 > 0:34:26But I do need to talk to you about other stuff, as well.

0:34:26 > 0:34:28Andrew...

0:34:29 > 0:34:31Thank you.

0:34:39 > 0:34:41What was she on about?

0:34:41 > 0:34:46- Nothing, honestly. I'm fine. - She mentioned Phil. Did he put her up to it?

0:34:46 > 0:34:50No, just a misunderstanding, that's all. Please, Mr Branning.

0:34:50 > 0:34:53- If they carry on hassling you, you let me know, yeah?- Yeah.

0:34:54 > 0:34:56- Where's Amy? - Finishing off her breakfast.

0:34:56 > 0:35:00Hold on! You left a three-year-old on her own with that thug?

0:35:00 > 0:35:04You want to talk about thugs? Go and have a word with your cousin.

0:35:06 > 0:35:08I've got plans.

0:35:08 > 0:35:10Well, change 'em. Come to Oxford Street with us.

0:35:10 > 0:35:13- That'd be all right, wouldn't it, Dot?- Of course it would.

0:35:13 > 0:35:17- I can be here when you get back. - You used to love the lights when you were little.

0:35:17 > 0:35:20Remember when I used to take you? Tell him, Dot.

0:35:20 > 0:35:24- Tell he's gotta come.- Be nice for your mother if you came, Andrew.

0:35:24 > 0:35:28There's things I need to do and... people I need to see.

0:35:28 > 0:35:32- Perhaps we could go and see the lights another day. - It's up to you, Rose.

0:35:33 > 0:35:38Sorry. Sorry, Ma. As I told you before, I'm busy, all right?

0:35:38 > 0:35:40You ARE staying for Christmas?

0:35:40 > 0:35:42I was just dropping 'em off.

0:35:42 > 0:35:44Well, you needn't have bothered.

0:35:47 > 0:35:49I'll let you have my keys.

0:35:49 > 0:35:52So as you can...pop in and out.

0:35:52 > 0:35:54It would be nice for your mother

0:35:54 > 0:35:58if you could bring yourself to be here when she gets back.

0:35:58 > 0:36:00- Thanks, Aunty Dot.- See you?

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Here we go, then, Rose.

0:36:08 > 0:36:11Carol! Kids! Come here a minute.

0:36:13 > 0:36:17- Why? What is it? - Not till the kids get here. Come on, kids, hurry up!

0:36:17 > 0:36:18Come on!

0:36:20 > 0:36:22Sit down, sit down.

0:36:22 > 0:36:26I just switched me phone on. And I've got a message. Listen to this.

0:36:26 > 0:36:28RICKY: 'Hello, Pat, it's me.

0:36:28 > 0:36:31'Change of plan. I'm on my way to the airport.

0:36:31 > 0:36:34'Bit of luck, I'll be with you some time tomorrow.

0:36:34 > 0:36:38'I'll tell you everything then. Love to everyone. I'll see ya then.'

0:36:38 > 0:36:40Tomorrow? When was the message?

0:36:40 > 0:36:44Oh. Just after 11 last night.

0:36:44 > 0:36:47- Does this mean we're not going to lose the house?- Yes, darling,

0:36:47 > 0:36:49that is exactly what it means.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51THEY CHEER

0:37:01 > 0:37:05- She's been set up.- And who's the most likely person to have done that, eh?

0:37:05 > 0:37:08- Exactly.- No, you just want to stir it because of Amy.

0:37:08 > 0:37:11Listen, you didn't see Jack. You didn't see his face.

0:37:11 > 0:37:16When you were out there having a go at Heather, he was on his doorstep, lapping it up.

0:37:16 > 0:37:19- I should've stuck to me instincts. - So what you going to do about it?

0:37:33 > 0:37:35Mandy?

0:37:35 > 0:37:37Ricky!

0:37:38 > 0:37:40SHE GIGGLES

0:37:40 > 0:37:43So, you going to get us another one, then?

0:37:43 > 0:37:45I'm trying to save money.

0:37:45 > 0:37:48- LAUREN YAWNS - What's that for?

0:37:48 > 0:37:51Saving money is for losers.

0:37:51 > 0:37:54Lauren, my family is in big trouble at the moment, OK?

0:37:54 > 0:37:58Yeah, trouble? You don't know the meaning of the word.

0:37:58 > 0:38:00What's that mean?

0:38:01 > 0:38:03Just forget it, yeah?

0:38:06 > 0:38:09Actually, I'm not sure this is a good idea.

0:38:09 > 0:38:11What's the problem?

0:38:11 > 0:38:13- Can we go somewhere else?- Yeah.

0:38:18 > 0:38:21I mean, it stinks of air freshener but it's better than... Well...

0:38:21 > 0:38:25Nah, it's good as new that, Hev. Here, go on - take that on top.

0:38:25 > 0:38:26Oh. No, honestly, Mr Branning...

0:38:26 > 0:38:30- It's a nasty job. Go on, take it. - Oh. Thanks very much.

0:38:30 > 0:38:33- Leave that stuff. I'll take it in. - Oh!

0:38:33 > 0:38:36- Thanks, Mr Branning. See ya.- Hev...

0:38:37 > 0:38:39..what was all that with Shirley?

0:38:39 > 0:38:42I dunno. You know, I ain't done nothing.

0:38:48 > 0:38:49Heather?

0:38:49 > 0:38:51Oh. Hello again.

0:38:51 > 0:38:56I was thinking about having a spot of lunch over the pub. We could, er, have that chat

0:38:56 > 0:38:58and you could tell me what all that agg' was about.

0:38:58 > 0:39:01I would, but, er, I've got other jobs to do

0:39:01 > 0:39:04and I've got to take my little boy to the doctor's.

0:39:04 > 0:39:06He was up half the night coughing.

0:39:06 > 0:39:09Look, I know I upset you back in Southend...

0:39:09 > 0:39:11I-it doesn't matter.

0:39:11 > 0:39:12It does matter.

0:39:12 > 0:39:15Cos I've thought about you an awful lot these last few months.

0:39:15 > 0:39:18Been going over the things that I said and done.

0:39:18 > 0:39:20Honestly, Andrew. It's...

0:39:20 > 0:39:21Look...

0:39:21 > 0:39:24I need to convince you, that is not the real Andrew.

0:39:24 > 0:39:26It's all right, really.

0:39:26 > 0:39:29Maybe we could, er...

0:39:29 > 0:39:32We could see each other... some other time.

0:39:32 > 0:39:34Yeah. Maybe.

0:39:43 > 0:39:46- How's she going these days? - Sorry? What?

0:39:46 > 0:39:50- The motor. Behaving herself? - What's that got to do with you? - Just professional interest.

0:39:50 > 0:39:52Yeah, well, the car's fine.

0:39:52 > 0:39:55- I got something through the post this morning.- Give it a rest, Phil.

0:40:01 > 0:40:04N-O spells no.

0:40:04 > 0:40:07The difference is, I've got a record - you ain't.

0:40:07 > 0:40:09There are these things called ethics, Mo, though

0:40:09 > 0:40:12I appreciate it's a term you're not familiar with.

0:40:12 > 0:40:15If they do YOU, it's a caution at most.

0:40:15 > 0:40:17Me? I could be looking at 18 months.

0:40:17 > 0:40:21Which will give you plenty of time to consider your crimes and repent.

0:40:21 > 0:40:22Alfie, speak to her?

0:40:22 > 0:40:26Look, I know what people are saying about me out there, thanks to you.

0:40:26 > 0:40:29Mo, I gotta respect Jean's principles, all right?

0:40:29 > 0:40:34- You're talking about principles? What about the microwaves?- Oi, gobby! D'you want to keep it down?!

0:40:35 > 0:40:38Oi! Whoa, whoa! Can I smell garlic?

0:40:38 > 0:40:43- You most certainly can!- What's happened to the sausage surprise everyone's come to know and love?

0:40:43 > 0:40:49It's a different recipe. Today's special is Surprise de Saucisse!

0:40:50 > 0:40:53It's French. D'you want a taste?

0:40:53 > 0:40:56Yeah, yeah, why not? Yeah, I'll have a little...

0:40:56 > 0:40:58Have a little from the sides.

0:41:03 > 0:41:04Mm!

0:41:06 > 0:41:09- Bit garlicky, isn't it?- You don't like it, do you? Say if you don't.

0:41:09 > 0:41:13No! I love it! Punters are going to love it. Really nice. Smashing, that.

0:41:15 > 0:41:16Alfie!

0:41:18 > 0:41:22Will you tell Minnie Mouse here to stop being such a self-righteous

0:41:22 > 0:41:25- you-know-what and do the decent thing?- Woah, calm down, all right?

0:41:25 > 0:41:28Listen to me, Alfie has a plan.

0:41:28 > 0:41:30The words "benefit" and "fraud" are banned.

0:41:30 > 0:41:33(We'll go softly-softly, yeah? Let her come to you, all right.)

0:41:33 > 0:41:36(OK? Go on, calm down.)

0:41:40 > 0:41:43Push Jean too hard, she's going to dig her heels in.

0:41:43 > 0:41:46You got to make it sound like it's come from her - like it's her decision.

0:41:48 > 0:41:50- Can't we send 'em both to prison? - Yeah, OK.

0:41:50 > 0:41:54Nan for benefit fraud and Jean for food poisoning. What d'you reckon?

0:41:56 > 0:42:00- I think we're done here, Alf. - Oi, hold on. Where you going? Come on, moolah!

0:42:03 > 0:42:04Lovely.

0:42:04 > 0:42:08Ha-hey! Mwah!

0:42:11 > 0:42:15It's a grey, 5 Series, registration...

0:42:17 > 0:42:19..717 JBR.

0:42:20 > 0:42:23Well, I wouldn't be asking you if it was easy, would I?

0:42:23 > 0:42:25Anyway, you owe me one.

0:42:27 > 0:42:28Blimey.

0:42:29 > 0:42:32He loves me. Apparently.

0:42:32 > 0:42:34I don't get it.

0:42:34 > 0:42:38Well, no-one really gets it. Not even sure I get it myself.

0:42:38 > 0:42:40But it kind of works.

0:42:40 > 0:42:42So you happy?

0:42:43 > 0:42:46Here, you ever bump into any of the old gang? Like Aiden?

0:42:46 > 0:42:48- Or Sam or that? - I asked you if you was happy.

0:42:48 > 0:42:51I want to talk about you.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53So where is it you been again?

0:42:53 > 0:42:55Oh, Dubai.

0:42:55 > 0:42:58- Dubai.- Yeah.- Wherever that is.

0:42:58 > 0:43:02So, who was it you didn't want to see in the cafe, then?

0:43:05 > 0:43:06There?

0:43:08 > 0:43:10Up a bit. Up a bit more.

0:43:10 > 0:43:13Up a bit. Bit more!

0:43:13 > 0:43:15THE KIDS LAUGH

0:43:15 > 0:43:16Oi, Tiffany!

0:43:16 > 0:43:19Right, I've been doing some sums.

0:43:19 > 0:43:23Now, assuming that Ricky's bonus is what he thought it was going to be,

0:43:23 > 0:43:26we're going to have enough to keep the loan company off our backs

0:43:26 > 0:43:29and still have something for a half-decent Christmas.

0:43:29 > 0:43:32I think that calls for a celebration, don't you?

0:43:32 > 0:43:34- Carol, do us a favour, love?- Yep?

0:43:34 > 0:43:37Nip over to the shop and get a bottle of fizz for us

0:43:37 > 0:43:40and pop for the kids.

0:43:40 > 0:43:42I'll give Whitney a call as well, shall I?

0:43:42 > 0:43:46- Yeah! We want everybody here! Don't we?- Wahey!

0:43:51 > 0:43:53Who's the thug?

0:43:53 > 0:43:56Dot Branning's nephew. Need I say more?

0:43:56 > 0:43:59It's like sausage surprise, but with a twist.

0:43:59 > 0:44:03- Yeah, the twist in your stomach after you've eaten it.- Ha! Funny(!)

0:44:03 > 0:44:05- MOBILE RINGS - It's Carol. What's she want?

0:44:05 > 0:44:10She'll just be after you for something. Turn it off.

0:44:12 > 0:44:14You ordering or what?

0:44:14 > 0:44:16Yeah. Babe, I ain't got enough money.

0:44:16 > 0:44:18It's no problem.

0:44:20 > 0:44:21What?

0:44:21 > 0:44:23Just leave it to me, yeah?

0:44:23 > 0:44:25We'll have two of them Sausage Surprises.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27That's 8.60, darling.

0:44:27 > 0:44:31- OK. Give us two seconds, yeah?- Yeah.

0:44:31 > 0:44:32There you go. All right?

0:44:36 > 0:44:37Fats.

0:44:37 > 0:44:39- Hey, babe, all right?- Yeah, you?

0:44:39 > 0:44:43Yeah, come here. Listen, I'm not stopping. I'm looking for Jack. Have you seen him?

0:44:43 > 0:44:44What do you want with Jack?

0:44:44 > 0:44:46Listen, I can't say. But I got to go.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48- See you in a minute.- Fats?- Yes, babe?

0:44:49 > 0:44:52Where's my birthday present?

0:44:52 > 0:44:53It's been nearly a week now.

0:44:53 > 0:44:56Listen, I know. I know, I know, I know,

0:44:56 > 0:45:00and I promise it's going to be worth the wait. OK?

0:45:00 > 0:45:01One thing...

0:45:01 > 0:45:03Yes, mate, all right, easy...

0:45:03 > 0:45:05- Heather.- What about her?

0:45:05 > 0:45:07I know she's got a little boy.

0:45:07 > 0:45:09Has the father shown his face lately?

0:45:09 > 0:45:10Nah, mate. He left ages ago.

0:45:10 > 0:45:12Is there any other boyfriend?

0:45:13 > 0:45:17Listen, go for it, all right, bruv?

0:45:17 > 0:45:19There you go.

0:45:19 > 0:45:21Thank you! Mwah!

0:45:23 > 0:45:26She's just made a right monkey of you there.

0:45:26 > 0:45:29Oi, oi. See Whitney checking you out?

0:45:31 > 0:45:33She had her chance.

0:45:38 > 0:45:42- This is all right. Should've tried some.- It stinks, I can smell the garlic from here.

0:45:42 > 0:45:46I forgot - garlic and crucifixes don't go down too well with you lot, do they?

0:45:46 > 0:45:50Why are you so cheerful all of a sudden?

0:45:50 > 0:45:53- Alfie?- Yeah. - My compliments to the chef.

0:45:53 > 0:45:55Hey, you hear that? Phil likes the grub.

0:45:55 > 0:45:58No-one's going to want to kiss me for a week

0:45:58 > 0:45:59I'm going to go and tell Jean.

0:45:59 > 0:46:02Is this something to do with Heather?

0:46:02 > 0:46:03Nothing to do with Heather.

0:46:03 > 0:46:07So what is it then? Cos you're definitely up to something.

0:46:07 > 0:46:09Excuse me for butting in.

0:46:09 > 0:46:11Do I know you?

0:46:11 > 0:46:13No, but I know your girlfriend.

0:46:13 > 0:46:16And her manners leave a lot to be desired.

0:46:16 > 0:46:18Put her on a leash, yeah?

0:46:22 > 0:46:26- Phil Mitchell said that? - Yeah! Don't believe me, go and ask him yourself.

0:46:27 > 0:46:31Alfie, talk to her, will you? Nothing I say gets through.

0:46:31 > 0:46:35Mo, listen - for the very last time, OK? Alfie has a plan.

0:46:35 > 0:46:37Softly-softly, all right?

0:46:40 > 0:46:43And there's herbs in it, too.

0:46:43 > 0:46:46- Can you taste the herbs? - Whatever it is, it's nice.

0:46:46 > 0:46:48You like it, then?

0:46:48 > 0:46:51Yes, Jean, I like it.

0:46:51 > 0:46:52It's not too garlicky?

0:46:52 > 0:46:56I need all the garlic I can get right now.

0:46:57 > 0:46:58CAN you taste the herbs?

0:46:58 > 0:47:01I've just said, didn't I?

0:47:01 > 0:47:02You don't really like it, do you?

0:47:02 > 0:47:04For God's sake. Here we go...

0:47:04 > 0:47:07- Here you are... - Oh, no, no! I wasn't fishing!

0:47:07 > 0:47:10Hasn't she had enough free hand-outs?

0:47:13 > 0:47:16Thanks, Shirley(!) Yeah, thanks a bunch(!)

0:47:19 > 0:47:22- Right, who's going to get the next round in, then?- Lauren...

0:47:22 > 0:47:25I think it's Tyler's turn. Two spritzers, please, Tyler.

0:47:25 > 0:47:27I've had enough, so...

0:47:27 > 0:47:30All right. In that case, I'll just have a large V&T.

0:47:30 > 0:47:33Get your own V&T. Mine's a pint while you're at it.

0:47:33 > 0:47:35- Sorry?- I can see what you're trying to do.

0:47:35 > 0:47:38OK, in that case, Anthony...

0:47:38 > 0:47:40Stay there, Anthony.

0:47:40 > 0:47:44She can get her own drink and she can get two for us while she's at it.

0:47:44 > 0:47:46Well, well. Congratulations.

0:47:46 > 0:47:48What?

0:47:48 > 0:47:52I said to myself, "Whoever says no first wins first prize."

0:47:54 > 0:47:55And you win.

0:47:55 > 0:47:57Win what?

0:48:07 > 0:48:10- "Alfie's got a plan", eh? - Softly-softly, yeah.

0:48:10 > 0:48:14Well, softly-softly's getting us nowhere-nowhere. Leave it to me.

0:48:14 > 0:48:17- Whoa! What are you going to do? - Just go, yeah?

0:48:27 > 0:48:31- Jean...- Whatever you're about to say won't make the slightest difference.

0:48:31 > 0:48:34I've made my position perfectly clear...

0:48:34 > 0:48:36- MOBILE CHIMES - Who's that?!

0:48:36 > 0:48:38No-one ever texts me!

0:48:43 > 0:48:47It's from Stacey! Stacey's sent me a text!

0:48:47 > 0:48:48Shh! Keep your voice down.

0:48:48 > 0:48:50What's she saying?

0:48:52 > 0:48:53That she loves me.

0:48:55 > 0:48:57Oh, isn't that lovely of her?

0:48:57 > 0:48:59Oh!

0:48:59 > 0:49:00What should I text back?

0:49:00 > 0:49:02That you love her, too.

0:49:04 > 0:49:07And that Nan's going to spend Christmas in prison...

0:49:09 > 0:49:12Listen, Jean, you know that we've all got previous,

0:49:12 > 0:49:15so we can't take the rap for this.

0:49:15 > 0:49:17And believe me, we would if we could.

0:49:17 > 0:49:21The worst that can happen to you is a slap on the wrist

0:49:21 > 0:49:23and to pay all the money back.

0:49:25 > 0:49:28Stacey would be really, really proud of you.

0:49:30 > 0:49:31'You are joking me?'

0:49:31 > 0:49:35No. I can't even go back - I'm on a list.

0:49:36 > 0:49:39Oh, sorry, but I think it's hysterical.

0:49:39 > 0:49:42Thing is, everyone's counting on me.

0:49:42 > 0:49:46- Like who? - Pat, the family, everybody.

0:49:46 > 0:49:49Thing was, I was due this massive end-of-contract bonus,

0:49:49 > 0:49:51but now that's all gone.

0:49:51 > 0:49:54I even had to pay me own air fare back. I'm brassic.

0:49:56 > 0:49:58Ooh. What's Bianca going to say?

0:49:58 > 0:50:00Like I ain't thought about that?

0:50:00 > 0:50:05What am I going to tell the kids when they find there's not even money for Christmas presents?

0:50:05 > 0:50:08Tell you what, might've been easier if they'd locked me up

0:50:08 > 0:50:11and thrown away the key. Least I wouldn't have to face them.

0:50:11 > 0:50:14Oh, no! I'm pleased to see you at the very least.

0:50:14 > 0:50:16DOOR OPENS

0:50:16 > 0:50:18Here, I've been shopping.

0:50:18 > 0:50:21Got you an early Christmas present.

0:50:24 > 0:50:26Ricky?

0:50:26 > 0:50:27Mandy'll explain.

0:50:29 > 0:50:31- I better go and face the music. - All right.

0:50:31 > 0:50:33Have fun.

0:50:33 > 0:50:35- See ya.- Ta.

0:50:38 > 0:50:39Nice(!)

0:50:39 > 0:50:41DOOR SLAMS

0:50:46 > 0:50:48KEY RATTLES IN DOOR

0:50:48 > 0:50:49Anybody in?

0:50:49 > 0:50:53- In here.- Oh, you did stay after all.

0:50:53 > 0:50:56Yeah, stupid to come all this way and not spend time with my mum.

0:50:56 > 0:50:59You're only saying that cos you feel guilty.

0:50:59 > 0:51:00How was Oxford Street?

0:51:00 > 0:51:03Oh, all adverts. Nothing to do with Christmas at all.

0:51:03 > 0:51:05Hark at old Ebenezer.

0:51:05 > 0:51:08Jesus was born in a stable, Rose, not a toy shop.

0:51:08 > 0:51:12Let's not fight, please. Come on. We're family. And it's Christmas.

0:51:12 > 0:51:14Oh, as if you care.

0:51:14 > 0:51:18Actually, I've changed my mind. I'm going to stick around for a while.

0:51:18 > 0:51:20If that's all right with you.

0:51:20 > 0:51:22So what's brought this on?

0:51:22 > 0:51:25I love me Mum and I want to be with her

0:51:25 > 0:51:27and my new Auntie Dot at Christmas.

0:51:27 > 0:51:30I mean, what's wrong with that?

0:51:30 > 0:51:32Oh, Andrew!

0:51:33 > 0:51:36Happy Christmas, Mum.

0:51:36 > 0:51:38It's Dad! Everyone! Dad's here!

0:51:38 > 0:51:40Quick, quick in the kitchen.

0:51:41 > 0:51:43Dad's home.

0:51:43 > 0:51:45MUSIC: "Welcome Home" by Peters And Lee

0:51:48 > 0:51:50- Quick! Quick!- Sorry.- Quick!

0:51:53 > 0:51:55- You got the fizz? - Yeah. Where's Whit?

0:51:55 > 0:51:58- I've left messages on her answer phone. She's not answering.- Oh well.

0:51:58 > 0:52:01Shhh, shhh, shhh.

0:52:01 > 0:52:04- TOOT! - Shh!- Hey! He's coming.

0:52:04 > 0:52:05Hello?

0:52:10 > 0:52:14# Welcome home

0:52:16 > 0:52:18# Welcome

0:52:20 > 0:52:22# Come on in... #

0:52:24 > 0:52:28THEY CHEER

0:52:33 > 0:52:35Shush, shush, shush, shush!

0:52:35 > 0:52:37What is it, Ricky?

0:52:40 > 0:52:42We are going to lose the house, aren't we?

0:52:51 > 0:52:54- Jack! Where you been, man? - My car's gone.

0:52:54 > 0:52:57I know, I've been looking for you. I tried to tell you.

0:52:57 > 0:52:59- Some geezer came along and towed it away.- What geezer?

0:52:59 > 0:53:02- I don't know. Couldn't see him. - Could it have been Phil?- Why?

0:53:02 > 0:53:06- Answer my question. Could it have been Phil? - Doubt it. He's in the pub.

0:53:08 > 0:53:10Oh, is he now?

0:53:26 > 0:53:31Oi. Oi... Oi, you pair, d'you want a bucket a water over you?

0:53:31 > 0:53:36What's the matter? Calm down, will you? Or get a room, please!

0:53:36 > 0:53:39- Want to go back to my place? - Yeah. Why not?

0:53:39 > 0:53:43Lauren... Lauren?

0:53:43 > 0:53:44One second...

0:53:45 > 0:53:47What?

0:53:47 > 0:53:49How much have you had, babe?

0:53:49 > 0:53:51Why? You jealous?

0:53:51 > 0:53:52You can't do this.

0:53:53 > 0:53:56My mum's got cancer. I can do what I want.

0:54:09 > 0:54:11What you done with it?

0:54:11 > 0:54:13- Done with what?- My motor.

0:54:13 > 0:54:16I've only been gone an hour and now it's gone. Someone's nicked it.

0:54:16 > 0:54:17I think that someone's you.

0:54:17 > 0:54:21- Well, I've been here all lunchtime. Shirl'll tell you.- It's true.

0:54:21 > 0:54:23It's him or one of his monkeys.

0:54:23 > 0:54:25- Alfie...- Hmm? - How long have I been here?

0:54:25 > 0:54:28I dunno. What, about, 12-ish?

0:54:30 > 0:54:31Where's my apology?

0:54:33 > 0:54:35I'm calling the police.

0:54:35 > 0:54:36I'm waiting.

0:54:37 > 0:54:39This ain't over.

0:54:41 > 0:54:43- Alfie.- Hm?- Come here.

0:54:43 > 0:54:46Yeah, I'll be with you in a sec. Hold on, darling.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49Right, so you know what you're going to say, yeah?

0:54:49 > 0:54:51Why can't I say I'm doing it for Stacey?

0:54:51 > 0:54:54Because it'll make him happy. Please?

0:54:58 > 0:54:59What?

0:55:01 > 0:55:03In the spirit of Christmas, Alfie,

0:55:03 > 0:55:07I have decided to sacrifice my integrity

0:55:07 > 0:55:10for the sake of this family and...

0:55:10 > 0:55:12hand myself in.

0:55:15 > 0:55:17Come here.

0:55:19 > 0:55:21I love you, Jean.

0:55:26 > 0:55:29No, not tomorrow, today.

0:55:29 > 0:55:33You just tell 'em it's ex-detective inspector Branning calling, yeah?

0:55:33 > 0:55:35- Jack!- What?

0:55:35 > 0:55:37- You're not going to like this, man. - Why?

0:55:37 > 0:55:39Let me show you, all right? Come, come.

0:55:44 > 0:55:47PHIL CHUCKLES

0:55:47 > 0:55:50What's so funny? What've you done?

0:55:53 > 0:55:55So I was sitting at my desk, yeah?

0:55:55 > 0:55:57And then I heard this big, massive crash.

0:55:57 > 0:56:00So then I came out to have a look and then there it was.

0:56:02 > 0:56:04And then I saw some big truck driving off as well.

0:56:07 > 0:56:08Did you get a number plate?

0:56:08 > 0:56:13No, no. Couldn't see it, it was all muddy and that. Like it was deliberate.

0:56:13 > 0:56:15I'm going to kill him.

0:56:15 > 0:56:16Kill who? Jack...

0:56:20 > 0:56:22What, do you think you're funny?

0:56:22 > 0:56:25Now, you stay away from me, and you stay away from my family.

0:56:25 > 0:56:29Cos next time it won't just be the car that goes in the crusher.

0:56:29 > 0:56:31Do you understand?

0:56:34 > 0:56:36Yeah, of course I understand.

0:56:36 > 0:56:40You think I'd have asked if I wasn't desperate?

0:56:42 > 0:56:46Well, you keep your hands off them young barmen, Peggy.

0:56:46 > 0:56:48Sorry love, I got to go, bye.

0:56:51 > 0:56:55Just phoning Peggy to get her secret Victoria sponge recipe.

0:56:55 > 0:56:57You're baking a cake?

0:56:57 > 0:57:00I can't sit here twiddling me thumbs, can I?

0:57:00 > 0:57:03I've tried everyone, Pat.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05I've really screwed up, ain't I?

0:57:07 > 0:57:10You went to the middle of the desert to provide for your family.

0:57:10 > 0:57:13The last thing you are is a failure.

0:57:13 > 0:57:17There's people there that have paid off mortgages, student loans.

0:57:17 > 0:57:19I've come back worse off!

0:57:22 > 0:57:24I'd better go and tell Bianca.

0:57:24 > 0:57:27Um, thing is - she doesn't...

0:57:27 > 0:57:30She doesn't know about us losing this place.

0:57:30 > 0:57:32I thought we could sort it out before she had to.

0:57:34 > 0:57:37Come tomorrow, she may be the only one with a roof over her head.

0:57:37 > 0:57:40That ain't going to happen. All right? I'm going to get a job.

0:57:40 > 0:57:42I promise.

0:58:03 > 0:58:05All right.

0:58:05 > 0:58:07Can't wait to see Amy later,

0:58:07 > 0:58:11even if I am going to have a social worker breathing down my neck.

0:58:11 > 0:58:15But I got her those dinosaur things she likes for lunch.

0:58:17 > 0:58:19In a bit?

0:58:22 > 0:58:24All right, Jack?

0:58:25 > 0:58:29Whoa! Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack.

0:58:29 > 0:58:31- And let him get away with it? - What did I teach you?

0:58:31 > 0:58:35Take your time and do it properly. Eh?

0:58:35 > 0:58:37He ain't going nowhere.

0:58:44 > 0:58:52I really, really, really want to zig-a-zig-ah.

0:58:52 > 0:58:56Do you know, I am the same age as Baby Spice?

0:58:56 > 0:58:58You know what? She was always my favourite.

0:59:00 > 0:59:03They don't call her Baby Spice now, though, do they?

0:59:03 > 0:59:06I always preferred Sporty myself.

0:59:06 > 0:59:08All right, Jane?

0:59:08 > 0:59:11We're going to take Bobby to the dentist. If you want to come along?

0:59:11 > 0:59:15No, no, you go. Mum, dad, dentist.

0:59:15 > 0:59:18That's like a normal family, ain't it?

0:59:18 > 0:59:19No, no, no, you come along,

0:59:19 > 0:59:23and then we'll come back for some "continental breakfast", yeah?

0:59:23 > 0:59:26Well, I'm going out.

0:59:26 > 0:59:28I'll come with you.

0:59:28 > 0:59:31I don't know where I'm going yet, hun.

0:59:32 > 0:59:35- Anyway, I better go sort this out, eh?- Sure.

0:59:35 > 0:59:38- Nice to see you, Jane.- Yeah.

0:59:50 > 0:59:53I'm sure these breakfasts are getting smaller.

0:59:53 > 0:59:55They'll probably blame it on the recession.

0:59:55 > 0:59:58Skinny sausages and shrunk bacon.

1:00:01 > 1:00:02I'm having another one.

1:00:02 > 1:00:06Before they start serving it in a thimble. Can I get you one, Billy?

1:00:06 > 1:00:08No, I better not.

1:00:08 > 1:00:10Oh, I see.

1:00:10 > 1:00:12I thought Phil Mitchell was your cousin, not your dad.

1:00:12 > 1:00:14But if he's told you to...

1:00:14 > 1:00:16Hey, hey, wait...

1:00:16 > 1:00:17Phil don't tell me what to do.

1:00:19 > 1:00:21Go on, I'll have another one. Cheers.

1:00:25 > 1:00:27Phil!

1:00:29 > 1:00:33My brother thinks I should let it go, you playing demolition man.

1:00:33 > 1:00:34- Yeah?- Yeah.

1:00:34 > 1:00:37I had a word with a few of my old workmates an' all.

1:00:37 > 1:00:39We agreed, there's no point, cos there's no evidence.

1:00:39 > 1:00:43- Least you learnt something from the job.- They're always on the other end of the phone.

1:00:43 > 1:00:46Know what us police are like, once you're in, you're never out.

1:00:46 > 1:00:48Not even when they're as bent as you?

1:00:48 > 1:00:51It's weird, the lengths they'll go to to protect their own.

1:00:51 > 1:00:54You're still claiming it weren't you that set up them raids, eh?

1:00:54 > 1:00:56Sounding paranoid there, Phil. See someone about that.

1:00:56 > 1:00:59You'll never beat me. No-one will.

1:00:59 > 1:01:03You really hate it when you can't control things, don't you?

1:01:11 > 1:01:13How was I supposed to know he'd got PE?

1:01:13 > 1:01:17And typical Ian, I'm the one that gets sent back to pick up the kit.

1:01:17 > 1:01:20Er, there we go.

1:01:20 > 1:01:22Shorts and a T-shirt.

1:01:24 > 1:01:25He really likes you, y'know.

1:01:25 > 1:01:29- Said you taught him the words to an N-Dubz song.- Ian?

1:01:29 > 1:01:30Bobby!

1:01:30 > 1:01:32Oh, yeah.

1:01:34 > 1:01:38Y'know, we're in the same boat, you and me.

1:01:39 > 1:01:41New relationships with men with, erm...

1:01:41 > 1:01:43Bad hair?

1:01:45 > 1:01:51Baggage. Ex-wives, stepkids, some other woman's wallpaper.

1:01:52 > 1:01:54Just don't see me as an obstacle.

1:01:54 > 1:01:57I think it took me getting with Mas to realise that,

1:01:57 > 1:01:59for the last few years...

1:01:59 > 1:02:03me and Ian never made each other truly happy. But you do.

1:02:03 > 1:02:05And that's an amazing thing!

1:02:06 > 1:02:07I try.

1:02:07 > 1:02:09You're already part of the family.

1:02:10 > 1:02:14I'm Beale past, and you're Beale future.

1:02:14 > 1:02:16Bless.

1:02:18 > 1:02:20Right, well you'd better get Bobcat his trainers

1:02:20 > 1:02:23before they make him play hockey barefoot.

1:02:37 > 1:02:39Ricky!

1:02:39 > 1:02:41DOOR OPENS

1:02:41 > 1:02:44Hi. Come in, come in.

1:02:46 > 1:02:49Oh, you're early. Social worker's not even here yet.

1:02:51 > 1:02:54- Where's Amy? - It's cancelled.

1:02:54 > 1:02:56I told the social worker I'm sick.

1:02:56 > 1:02:57Amy's with a mate from playgroup.

1:02:57 > 1:03:00So you lied to them and now I don't get to see my little girl?

1:03:00 > 1:03:03And I'm supposed to just deal with that, am I?

1:03:03 > 1:03:07- Why are you doing this to me? - She's better off not seeing you, ain't she?

1:03:07 > 1:03:09I'm her mother, OK. That is disgusting!

1:03:09 > 1:03:11Yeah? And Phil Mitchell is your cousin.

1:03:11 > 1:03:15Yeah? When he replaces my car, then you can see Amy.

1:03:15 > 1:03:16Jack!

1:03:16 > 1:03:18Oi, hold on a minute.

1:03:18 > 1:03:21Jack, you can't punish Amy for something Phil's done!

1:03:21 > 1:03:25You tell him my daughter's one more thing he can't control.

1:03:28 > 1:03:30Two teas, please, Marie.

1:03:30 > 1:03:34So what's this amazing birthday present Whit's waited so long for?

1:03:34 > 1:03:37Oh, bruvver, there's been so much hype, man, I can't crash and burn.

1:03:37 > 1:03:40- It's got to be special. - Like you. You're very special.

1:03:40 > 1:03:43Ha ha(!) Nah nah, it's got to be unique. It's got to be...

1:03:43 > 1:03:44Mind-blowing?

1:03:44 > 1:03:46Right. Check this out.

1:03:46 > 1:03:48Huh? Huh-huh-huh?

1:03:50 > 1:03:52What? Plan B, yeah?

1:03:52 > 1:03:54Yeah. Just don't go too extra, bruv.

1:04:10 > 1:04:12SHE SIGHS

1:04:24 > 1:04:27Told you I had an husband.

1:04:27 > 1:04:29How was Dubai then?

1:04:29 > 1:04:31Been working ain't you? In Dubai?

1:04:31 > 1:04:33Look at your tan!

1:04:33 > 1:04:37Check out his tan. Look! Looks like Peter Andre!

1:04:37 > 1:04:40If I wasn't in this goldfish bowl,

1:04:40 > 1:04:42I'd jump over there and give you a right old snog!

1:04:42 > 1:04:44- Bianca...- What?!

1:04:44 > 1:04:48You are my husband. You look well fit.

1:04:49 > 1:04:53She works in the salon, except she's useless.

1:04:53 > 1:04:57I mean, would you really let someone with a barnet like that loose on yours?

1:04:57 > 1:05:01Hope you ain't been perving over them belly-dancing girls, have you?

1:05:01 > 1:05:04So have you seen the kids?

1:05:04 > 1:05:06Listen, I've got something to tell you...

1:05:06 > 1:05:09about Dubai.

1:05:09 > 1:05:10I got arrested.

1:05:10 > 1:05:14No! You, arrested?! For what?!

1:05:14 > 1:05:17I went to a public beach when it was closed.

1:05:17 > 1:05:18And they nicked you for that?!

1:05:18 > 1:05:23- They'd have to build another four floors on this place. - And...indecency.- Eh?

1:05:23 > 1:05:25Indecency.

1:05:26 > 1:05:29What, like flashing? Your bits?

1:05:29 > 1:05:32- In Dubai?!- I went swimming.

1:05:32 > 1:05:34What, did you wee in the water?

1:05:34 > 1:05:36I was naked, all right?

1:05:36 > 1:05:40Skinny dipping? You, who won't take your jeans off on the beach?!

1:05:40 > 1:05:43- That's not all... - Life in the old dog yet, eh, Ricky?!

1:05:43 > 1:05:47- You wasn't with another girl? You said, "That's not all..." - I got sacked...

1:05:47 > 1:05:49then fined, and then deported.

1:05:49 > 1:05:54They took all the cash I'd saved. I just managed to get enough for the air fare home.

1:05:54 > 1:05:56It's all gone.

1:05:58 > 1:06:01Can no-one have a private conversation in here?

1:06:01 > 1:06:03It's not just that.

1:06:03 > 1:06:06The bailiffs are coming tomorrow,

1:06:06 > 1:06:08they're probably going to kick Pat out the house.

1:06:08 > 1:06:14She got in a right mess over these loans, she was relying on the Dubai cash to help her out a bit.

1:06:15 > 1:06:19Five months my kids have been without a dad. And for what?!

1:06:19 > 1:06:23- You're useless! You're a big, useless...- Do you know how long they've been without a mum?

1:06:23 > 1:06:26Do you know what damage you've caused them kids?

1:06:26 > 1:06:30I love my kids! It was being a good mum that's landed me in here.

1:06:30 > 1:06:34No, it's being a hot-headed nutter that's got you in here!

1:06:34 > 1:06:36I just hope they get over it.

1:06:36 > 1:06:39Them kids you love are about to lose their house,

1:06:39 > 1:06:42while you're banging on about barnets and Peter Andre.

1:06:42 > 1:06:44I never knew.

1:06:44 > 1:06:46Because you don't listen!

1:06:46 > 1:06:48You're stubborn.

1:06:48 > 1:06:50Your temper, your mouth.

1:06:50 > 1:06:52You're selfish.

1:06:52 > 1:06:55- Ricky!- That's why I went to Dubai in the first place,

1:06:55 > 1:06:56because you screwed up.

1:06:56 > 1:07:00- You just do what you want, just like you always do.- And why's that?

1:07:00 > 1:07:03Cos it's like being married to a dishcloth sometimes!

1:07:03 > 1:07:06"What shall we get Morgan for his birthday? When's dinner?"

1:07:06 > 1:07:10Who's going to deal with the scumbag that slept with my mum and kid, eh?!

1:07:10 > 1:07:13I'm loud, stubborn and angry cos I've had to be!

1:07:17 > 1:07:20This girl in Dubai...

1:07:20 > 1:07:22the one I went swimming with...

1:07:22 > 1:07:25- But you just said...- No, nothing happened. But, y'know, it could've.

1:07:25 > 1:07:28And you know how that made me feel?

1:07:28 > 1:07:30Just like the old Ricky Butcher.

1:07:30 > 1:07:34Before housing benefits, before chicken nuggets,

1:07:34 > 1:07:36before prison waiting rooms.

1:07:36 > 1:07:38Before me?

1:07:38 > 1:07:40When do you ever tell me you love me?

1:07:40 > 1:07:43- All the time!- Only when your back's up against the wall.

1:07:43 > 1:07:47Do you think normal people walk about saying, "I adore you," all the time?

1:07:47 > 1:07:48Me and Sam did.

1:07:48 > 1:07:50SHE GASPS

1:07:50 > 1:07:51Are you trying to hurt me, Ricky?

1:07:51 > 1:07:55I ain't saying I blame you for this mess we've got in. It's both of us.

1:07:58 > 1:08:00I don't know what to do.

1:08:00 > 1:08:02Or if it's worth trying.

1:08:06 > 1:08:08I hate you, do you know that?

1:08:08 > 1:08:13I hate you! Get him out of here! And do you know what?

1:08:13 > 1:08:16The old Ricky Butcher is just as much of a muppet as the new one!

1:08:16 > 1:08:18Get him out!

1:08:18 > 1:08:19And I want a divorce!

1:08:25 > 1:08:28What's your favourite?

1:08:28 > 1:08:32Now that I keep somewhere special.

1:08:37 > 1:08:39There.

1:08:39 > 1:08:41Wow.

1:08:41 > 1:08:42Is it from Granddad Frank?

1:08:44 > 1:08:48Dad misses him as well, don't he?

1:08:48 > 1:08:50Yeah, I expect he does.

1:08:51 > 1:08:55Do you think he would've come to my concert if he weren't dead?

1:08:55 > 1:09:00Oh, I think he'd have clapped louder than anybody else,

1:09:00 > 1:09:02and then he'd have cried like a baby.

1:09:02 > 1:09:03SHE LAUGHS

1:09:03 > 1:09:05He sounds crazy.

1:09:05 > 1:09:07He was!

1:09:07 > 1:09:09Well, he'd have to be to buy me these.

1:09:09 > 1:09:11Look!

1:09:14 > 1:09:19Nine pence off a bucket and spade stall in Clacton.

1:09:20 > 1:09:23Blimey. You only have to look at a bit of old costume jewellery,

1:09:23 > 1:09:29and you go back 50-odd years, live the moment all over again.

1:09:35 > 1:09:38Do me a favour, do you think you can fix this?

1:09:38 > 1:09:41I've tried to wash it, and I've spilt red wine on it.

1:09:41 > 1:09:43It's one of Amy's favourites.

1:09:43 > 1:09:45Hev?

1:09:45 > 1:09:46Oh.

1:09:50 > 1:09:53PHONE RINGS

1:09:53 > 1:09:56- Oh, you come to do your washing?- No.

1:09:56 > 1:09:58Hey, I was just thinking about you.

1:09:58 > 1:10:01- You're not going to believe what Jack's doing.- Course not.

1:10:01 > 1:10:05You're going back to Southend, so why would you want to do your washing?

1:10:06 > 1:10:08You've come to say goodbye, then?

1:10:08 > 1:10:10You seem quite keen to get me back there.

1:10:10 > 1:10:12It's where you live, innit?

1:10:34 > 1:10:38Well, I never thought I'd have potato dinosaurs in my shopping basket.

1:10:38 > 1:10:43Morgan bites bits out and pretends he's discovered a new species.

1:10:43 > 1:10:46Wow. Kids are amazing, aren't they?

1:10:46 > 1:10:47You being sarcastic?

1:10:47 > 1:10:50I'd stick to the blackcurrant if I were you.

1:10:50 > 1:10:53You don't want Bobby going to school with a hangover, do you?

1:10:53 > 1:10:57Or is it a romantic night in with you, Ian and that naughty nightie?

1:10:57 > 1:10:59Oh, is that why they sent you back from Dubai?

1:10:59 > 1:11:01Crimes to comedy?

1:11:01 > 1:11:04So...why did you come back then?

1:11:04 > 1:11:06After all that time?

1:11:08 > 1:11:11- You look exactly the same.- So do you.

1:11:11 > 1:11:14Well, if I kinda close one eye, squint a bit,

1:11:14 > 1:11:16and imagine a greasy ponytail.

1:11:16 > 1:11:18So, what you doing now?

1:11:18 > 1:11:22I am catching up with an old friend.

1:11:22 > 1:11:23Me?

1:11:23 > 1:11:25Yes, you!

1:11:27 > 1:11:28Andrew!

1:11:28 > 1:11:32I was, er, just getting my tools out the van.

1:11:32 > 1:11:35I didn't want you to go back to Southend without...

1:11:35 > 1:11:36Oh!

1:11:43 > 1:11:45HE EXHALES

1:11:45 > 1:11:47I, erm...

1:11:47 > 1:11:51wouldn't want to leave expensive tools in the back of the van,

1:11:51 > 1:11:54not if it's going to be parked up for a while.

1:11:54 > 1:11:55Parked up?

1:11:55 > 1:11:57I'm staying around.

1:11:57 > 1:11:59Oh, wow.

1:11:59 > 1:12:02I must be a really good kisser.

1:12:02 > 1:12:04Actually, I'd already decided.

1:12:04 > 1:12:07But...no complaints from this corner.

1:12:13 > 1:12:15- You OK?- Yeah.

1:12:15 > 1:12:17I felt 'em!

1:12:18 > 1:12:21Butterflies!

1:12:21 > 1:12:23HE BURPS

1:12:23 > 1:12:25Nice(!)

1:12:25 > 1:12:27You can take the boy out of Walford, eh...?

1:12:28 > 1:12:31But he'll keep coming back.

1:12:31 > 1:12:33So, why Ian Beale then?

1:12:33 > 1:12:35Why are you with Bianca?

1:12:35 > 1:12:38What about when you have to, y'know?

1:12:38 > 1:12:40- I mean, do you...- Ricky!

1:12:40 > 1:12:44Some people need more than sex to have a good relationship.

1:12:44 > 1:12:46What, you?! Yeah, right!

1:12:46 > 1:12:48I'm surprised I got out alive last time.

1:12:49 > 1:12:51That was years ago.

1:12:51 > 1:12:54Can we talk about something else please?

1:12:54 > 1:12:55Yeah.

1:12:55 > 1:12:58But you didn't answer my question about Ian Beale.

1:12:58 > 1:13:02OK, well, I like knowing if it's going to end,

1:13:02 > 1:13:04it's going to be me that ends it.

1:13:04 > 1:13:06I've never had that before.

1:13:06 > 1:13:08You was always the one who started stuff.

1:13:08 > 1:13:11Do you remember when you talked me into getting off my face,

1:13:11 > 1:13:15then you just sat there and laughed at me for ages at the state I was in?

1:13:15 > 1:13:17I never forced you!

1:13:17 > 1:13:20Listen, you were always the one who started it.

1:13:24 > 1:13:26Wait there! Don't drink no more.

1:13:27 > 1:13:30I've got plans for you, Butcher.

1:13:36 > 1:13:38Come on, take 'em off.

1:13:38 > 1:13:42Oh. But I like listening to all your stories about your jewels.

1:13:42 > 1:13:45Well, that's all they are, stories.

1:13:45 > 1:13:48This is just a...load of old tin.

1:13:48 > 1:13:52Hardly fill the fridge with what this lot's worth.

1:13:52 > 1:13:54Thought you said they were special?

1:13:55 > 1:14:00Tiffany, promise me something... don't get soft when you get old.

1:14:00 > 1:14:04You're not old! You still wear lipstick and get drunk.

1:14:05 > 1:14:07SHE LAUGHS

1:14:08 > 1:14:12- Tiffany Butcher! You...!- What?

1:14:16 > 1:14:21Listen, how do you fancy going to Clacton tomorrow? All the family?

1:14:21 > 1:14:25- And get the day off school? - Get out of this place and make some new memories!

1:14:25 > 1:14:26Yes!

1:14:28 > 1:14:32Lauren, just ring me back or text me, even.

1:14:32 > 1:14:34And just let me know you're OK.

1:14:34 > 1:14:37Please, cos I'm getting really worried now.

1:14:38 > 1:14:41Hey, just the lady!

1:14:41 > 1:14:44All right, that'll do. Great, lovely jubbly.

1:14:44 > 1:14:47Right, come on, you, come on, got to get up. Come with me.

1:14:47 > 1:14:49- Put the phone away.- What?! - Put the phone away.

1:14:49 > 1:14:51Right, now, close your eyes.

1:14:51 > 1:14:53Right, let's do this!

1:14:54 > 1:14:58OK, all right. Watch out. There's a little tree to your right there.

1:14:58 > 1:15:00Yeah, that's it. Watch it, all right!

1:15:00 > 1:15:03All right, all right, little curb, little curb, little curb.

1:15:03 > 1:15:05All right, and turn. And ready...

1:15:05 > 1:15:07One, two three...ta-da!

1:15:07 > 1:15:09What is it?

1:15:09 > 1:15:12Wh...?! You know, bonnet, engine, zim-zimmer, baby!

1:15:12 > 1:15:15I've got the keys to your zimmer, all right? It's a car!

1:15:15 > 1:15:20It's a car, from me to you, for your birthday! It's a car!

1:15:21 > 1:15:25See? Don't let no-one say your man doesn't treat you like a queen, right, sweetheart?

1:15:27 > 1:15:31- Fats, you know I don't drive. - I'll teach you, OK?

1:15:31 > 1:15:35We'll go down to Brighton or something, tunes blaring...

1:15:35 > 1:15:39Oh, and yeah, Mikey done that off the stall.

1:15:40 > 1:15:45- You big softy.- What can I say bruv? Whit, she's my girl.

1:15:45 > 1:15:48- She's my lady. She's mine, all mine. - No, I ain't your girl!

1:15:48 > 1:15:50What?!

1:15:51 > 1:15:54Did I miss something here?

1:16:00 > 1:16:01I've got some news. Can I come in?

1:16:01 > 1:16:04- No, I don't want to hear it. - Trust me, you do.

1:16:04 > 1:16:07I'm not in the mood, all right? Just tell me here.

1:16:09 > 1:16:14OK. I just spoke to Ronnie and she's filed for divorce.

1:16:19 > 1:16:22That's my punishment for cancelling Amy's contact?

1:16:22 > 1:16:25- Come on, as if she'd do that. - You lying about it, I meant.

1:16:25 > 1:16:28I'm sorry but you'll get your solicitor's letter tomorrow.

1:16:28 > 1:16:30Now, can I come in, please?

1:16:31 > 1:16:35All right. So, what did she say? Exactly. Roxy!

1:16:35 > 1:16:40Jack, I know what'll take your mind off this divorce. What if we...?

1:16:40 > 1:16:43You and me, we could go and get Amy

1:16:43 > 1:16:45and take her to see Santa, yeah? Or just feed the ducks.

1:16:45 > 1:16:47You know she loves that.

1:16:47 > 1:16:52Jack. I do know how you're feeling and I can help you,

1:16:52 > 1:16:54there's no need for all this...

1:16:54 > 1:16:57Just go. Just go, will you?

1:17:09 > 1:17:12- You all right? - I was just about to go.

1:17:12 > 1:17:14Yeah, yeah. Course you were!

1:17:14 > 1:17:16Very nice, by the way.

1:17:16 > 1:17:17Come on.

1:17:19 > 1:17:22Look, I know Bianca does my nut in but...

1:17:22 > 1:17:24Oh, no, no. Ricky, relax.

1:17:24 > 1:17:28It's not your body I'm after, it's your youth.

1:17:28 > 1:17:29Are you mad?

1:17:29 > 1:17:34Well, you already know the answer to that one! Come on.

1:17:39 > 1:17:42- Red let me in. - Shouldn't have bothered.

1:17:46 > 1:17:49Your fella breaks his backside to get you a present

1:17:49 > 1:17:51most girls would wet themselves over.

1:17:51 > 1:17:52What do you do?

1:17:52 > 1:17:54Fling a massive strop.

1:17:54 > 1:17:56You know nothing about nothing.

1:17:56 > 1:17:58I'll tell you what I do know.

1:17:58 > 1:18:01Some girls don't deserve to be treated nice.

1:18:01 > 1:18:03You've got no right coming round here

1:18:03 > 1:18:05and talking to me like that!

1:18:05 > 1:18:08- You've no right to mug my mate off. - He wants to own me! I don't want that.

1:18:08 > 1:18:10He just bought you a car.

1:18:10 > 1:18:14Yeah, and he put a label on it so now everyone thinks I belong to him.

1:18:14 > 1:18:16I don't belong to anyone. Why don't you just get out?

1:18:16 > 1:18:18You carry on.

1:18:18 > 1:18:22Carry on blaming every decent bloke for what that toe-rag did to you.

1:18:22 > 1:18:26Yeah, cos you know what's going on in my head, do you?

1:18:26 > 1:18:27Course you do.

1:18:27 > 1:18:30What was it you said to me before? That I needed therapy?

1:18:30 > 1:18:34You thought you'd come round, save me a few quid and do it yourself?

1:18:34 > 1:18:38All I'm saying is not every bloke is on some mission to screw you up.

1:18:38 > 1:18:41- I know Fatboy would never hurt me. - Then, stop acting like a victim.

1:18:41 > 1:18:46Or let some other girl have him cos they will, you know.

1:18:52 > 1:18:57DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

1:19:04 > 1:19:06Still wish you were in Dubai?

1:19:11 > 1:19:15You know what? No matter what happens -

1:19:15 > 1:19:19wives, husbands, chippies and prisons,

1:19:19 > 1:19:23they'll never take these times away from us! Never.

1:19:25 > 1:19:26Ricky?

1:19:28 > 1:19:30Ricky?

1:19:30 > 1:19:32I can't breathe!

1:19:32 > 1:19:36Phil, I want you to tell Jack you'll stop all this nonsense, OK?

1:19:36 > 1:19:40Phil, the divorce is making him worse.

1:19:40 > 1:19:43I was going to offer you a pint. Billy's having one.

1:19:43 > 1:19:46- Billy ain't got the sense he was born with.- Phil.

1:19:46 > 1:19:48- I think you might be right there.- Oi!

1:19:48 > 1:19:51There's not many blokes'd take the rap when their cousin fits them up.

1:19:51 > 1:19:54We're sorting out some family stuff here.

1:19:54 > 1:19:56Big on family, ain't you, Phil, eh?

1:19:56 > 1:19:58- Loyalty. United we stand.- You what?

1:19:58 > 1:20:02Phil, please, ignore him, OK? I'm trying to talk to you here.

1:20:02 > 1:20:05Big man behaviour that, fitting up your own cousin.

1:20:05 > 1:20:07Proper top boy stuff.

1:20:07 > 1:20:09Do you ever keep your mouth shut, eh?

1:20:09 > 1:20:11Weak.

1:20:11 > 1:20:12Very, very weak.

1:20:12 > 1:20:14He didn't exactly fit me up, Del.

1:20:14 > 1:20:17I thought you and I could share some common ground, similar values.

1:20:17 > 1:20:20Phil Mitchell ain't the man I thought he was.

1:20:20 > 1:20:22And why would I care what you think, eh?

1:20:24 > 1:20:26And don't smile at me.

1:20:28 > 1:20:31You didn't tell me this was going to be a party.

1:20:31 > 1:20:35I had hoped that you two could shake hands,

1:20:35 > 1:20:38but what I've learnt about Mr Mitchell's integrity, Jack,

1:20:38 > 1:20:41I think we should just go.

1:20:41 > 1:20:43Now that my ties with that family are finally cut,

1:20:43 > 1:20:44I think you're right.

1:20:44 > 1:20:46Hello, hi. Amy...?

1:20:51 > 1:20:53See, you and him? That'd be a fair fight.

1:20:53 > 1:20:56But it ain't just him any more.

1:20:56 > 1:20:59You take on my brother, you take on me.

1:21:02 > 1:21:04You enjoy yourself.

1:21:04 > 1:21:09Cos that's the last laugh you're going to have for a very long time.

1:21:24 > 1:21:27Maybe if a girl's ex tried to pimp her out,

1:21:27 > 1:21:31it might make her freak if she thinks the next one's trying to buy her.

1:21:31 > 1:21:34Hold tight, bruv, hold tight. What you on about?

1:21:34 > 1:21:37Are you trying to say, like, I'm one of those nasty guys?

1:21:37 > 1:21:39You trying to say I'm like that guy...?

1:21:51 > 1:21:54- Hi.- I thought I was having a heart attack.

1:21:54 > 1:21:58- But you didn't mention anything about...?- Oh, yeah. She said it was quite common,

1:21:58 > 1:22:03you know, for middle-aged men popping pills in allotment sheds!

1:22:04 > 1:22:05Thanks, again.

1:22:05 > 1:22:07I'll know what to do next time.

1:22:07 > 1:22:10Breathe in and out a paper bag, yeah?

1:22:10 > 1:22:12No, it's drugs advice information.

1:22:12 > 1:22:18Though we normally hand them out to patients quite a lot younger than you.

1:22:18 > 1:22:20SHE LAUGHS

1:22:22 > 1:22:24Oh, come on, Mandy, pick up.

1:22:24 > 1:22:27Bobby wants you to help him with his homework -

1:22:27 > 1:22:28history of the Christmas pudding.

1:22:28 > 1:22:31- With pictures.- Can't it wait? - More important stuff to do?

1:22:31 > 1:22:33Not jealous, are you, Jane?

1:22:33 > 1:22:37I'm very happy you've found love, Ian.

1:22:37 > 1:22:42And I'm happy you've found Masood. It's obvious we've both moved on.

1:22:42 > 1:22:45If we're so happy, why don't we go for a drink? Tomorrow.

1:22:45 > 1:22:49Even better. Let's have a meal. The four of us.

1:22:49 > 1:22:51I'll cook. You can come over.

1:22:51 > 1:22:53Great!

1:22:53 > 1:22:55Great!

1:22:57 > 1:22:58Oh, no!

1:23:04 > 1:23:06This is the best present ever.

1:23:10 > 1:23:12Sometimes...

1:23:13 > 1:23:17..in my head, this mad stuff takes over.

1:23:19 > 1:23:22It's like I forget what's normal.

1:23:23 > 1:23:24It's OK.

1:23:25 > 1:23:27I mean, I understand.

1:23:28 > 1:23:30It's all forgotten, babe, OK?

1:23:33 > 1:23:36Right! You know what this means, don't you?

1:23:36 > 1:23:40It means that Fats is rolling shotgun, OK?

1:23:47 > 1:23:49There you go, sweetheart.

1:24:05 > 1:24:08Right. OK, let's do this!

1:24:09 > 1:24:12Lovely jubbly. All right, that was great.

1:24:12 > 1:24:15Mate, no. Not that one yet. You don't...

1:24:15 > 1:24:16I'm sorry.

1:24:19 > 1:24:21You're not a muppet.

1:24:23 > 1:24:26You're my Ricky. I love you.

1:24:30 > 1:24:32PHONE BEEPS

1:24:33 > 1:24:36Oh, come on, at least we had a laugh.

1:24:36 > 1:24:38A laugh? You nearly killed me!

1:24:40 > 1:24:43Some stuck-up nurse thinking I'm Britain's oldest raver.

1:24:43 > 1:24:46- You're hilarious.- Ain't I just?

1:24:46 > 1:24:49Stupid Ricky Butcher, what a fool.

1:24:50 > 1:24:54I'm just a laughing stock, ain't I? Just a joke.

1:24:54 > 1:24:56How did it end up like this?

1:24:56 > 1:24:59You ain't a joke, Ricky. Not to me.

1:25:24 > 1:25:26Can we go on the rides? Can we?

1:25:26 > 1:25:30Yeah. Course you can. Suppose you want some money, don't ya?

1:25:30 > 1:25:32- There you go.- Yeah!

1:25:33 > 1:25:36- You're very quiet.- Am I?

1:25:36 > 1:25:39You still thinking about your row with Bianca?

1:25:39 > 1:25:41- Yeah.- Forget it. Forget about the lot of it.

1:25:41 > 1:25:43That's why we're here, ain't it?

1:25:43 > 1:25:48It'll take more than a day in Clacton to make me forget the bailiffs knocking on the door.

1:26:07 > 1:26:09# It's the right time

1:26:09 > 1:26:14# It's the bright time to rock the night away... #

1:26:14 > 1:26:17It's a black ladies' two-piece business suit.

1:26:17 > 1:26:20There can't be many of them back there!

1:26:20 > 1:26:23# ..A swell time to go riding in a one-horse sleigh... #

1:26:23 > 1:26:24Don't I pay you to clean,

1:26:24 > 1:26:26and not show off your varicose veins?

1:26:26 > 1:26:28My cleaning shift has finished

1:26:28 > 1:26:33and I am not due at the surgery till 12 o'clock.

1:26:33 > 1:26:36- Not that it's going to be much fun now Dr Khan is leaving.- Is this it?

1:26:36 > 1:26:41Oh, yes, at last. It took you a whole five minutes.

1:26:41 > 1:26:42It'll take a lot longer next time

1:26:42 > 1:26:45if you don't keep a civil tongue in your head. That'll be £7.50.

1:26:45 > 1:26:48And it went like this, then like that.

1:26:48 > 1:26:51Oh, Dot, I've remembered the whole routine.

1:26:51 > 1:26:54The only thing you'll get me doing at Christmas is the hokey cokey,

1:26:54 > 1:26:58and I have difficulty remembering whether it's in, out or shake it all about.

1:26:58 > 1:27:00Ta. Did you go and see 'em off?

1:27:00 > 1:27:02Who?

1:27:02 > 1:27:05Well, Pat and Ricky and everyone. They've gone for the day to Clacton.

1:27:05 > 1:27:07Oh, Clacton.

1:27:07 > 1:27:10Getting your knees brown, eating winkles with a pin.

1:27:10 > 1:27:13No, I didn't know that they'd gone.

1:27:13 > 1:27:16I thought with you being one of the family and everything...

1:27:16 > 1:27:19Mind you, Whitney ain't gone, on account of her college work.

1:27:19 > 1:27:21Thank you very much for reminding me, once again,

1:27:21 > 1:27:24that I'm not part of that family.

1:27:33 > 1:27:36Bit late for your Christmas card list.

1:27:36 > 1:27:41I'm just trying to work things out, be practical.

1:27:43 > 1:27:45"Carol - Jack's"?

1:27:45 > 1:27:48I thought you could move in with him when I lose the house.

1:27:48 > 1:27:53For starters, I'm not moving in with him. Give me that.

1:27:53 > 1:27:57We came away to take our mind off things, remember?

1:27:57 > 1:28:01Another couple of years, they'll realise there's not much to laugh about.

1:28:01 > 1:28:02Remember them days?

1:28:05 > 1:28:09When you didn't have a care, life was just a blank piece of paper...

1:28:09 > 1:28:12It all started for me here, you know.

1:28:12 > 1:28:13What? Clacton?

1:28:13 > 1:28:17Mm. Holiday camp. Miss Butlins 1958.

1:28:19 > 1:28:21It's where I first met Frank.

1:28:23 > 1:28:26Every time I come here, it brings it all back.

1:28:28 > 1:28:31It always smells the same, sounds the same,

1:28:31 > 1:28:33even if it don't look the same.

1:28:36 > 1:28:39I only have to close my eyes

1:28:39 > 1:28:43and I'm...16 again.

1:28:43 > 1:28:44Wiggling along the prom,

1:28:44 > 1:28:47thinking I'm the bee's knees!

1:28:47 > 1:28:50And the boys all wolf whistling at me two-piece!

1:28:50 > 1:28:53So that's why we're here? So you can get nostalgic.

1:28:53 > 1:28:57No. No, we're here to forget, like I said.

1:28:57 > 1:29:00But sometimes forgetting one thing,

1:29:00 > 1:29:03you end up remembering a load of other stuff.

1:29:23 > 1:29:25They're not in.

1:29:25 > 1:29:29They're all on a fun-filled trip to Clacton.

1:29:29 > 1:29:33Oh, right. Ricky gone as well, then, has he?

1:29:33 > 1:29:36Oh yeah, yeah, the whole clan. Apparently.

1:29:53 > 1:29:56SHE SPEAKS IN HINDI

1:30:06 > 1:30:09You'll never believe what she said.

1:30:09 > 1:30:11- Are you doing this on purpose? - Sorry?

1:30:11 > 1:30:15You know I have to finish this surgery work for my replacement.

1:30:15 > 1:30:18- Give me the phone.- What for? - This is important.

1:30:33 > 1:30:36I don't know why I agreed to it.

1:30:36 > 1:30:39The last thing I want to do is be nice to Mandy across a table.

1:30:39 > 1:30:43- Should I just tell Ian we can't come?- If you want.

1:30:45 > 1:30:48Sorry. Here's me rattling on about some stupid dinner party

1:30:48 > 1:30:50when you're worried about Kamil.

1:30:50 > 1:30:53I'll always be worried about Kamil.

1:30:53 > 1:30:55But not today.

1:30:55 > 1:30:58I'll fight. I'll make Zainab change her mind.

1:30:58 > 1:31:03- But not today. Today is about this. - What's that for?

1:31:03 > 1:31:06Oh, it's a surprise. For you.

1:31:06 > 1:31:09- I love surprises! - Well, that s good to know.

1:31:09 > 1:31:11So long as they're a good surprise. Ian was one for surprises.

1:31:11 > 1:31:14But they often turned out to be, well...not good.

1:31:14 > 1:31:18Oh, well, this one is good. We're going on a picnic.

1:31:18 > 1:31:21- In December? - Oh, it's the perfect month for it!

1:31:21 > 1:31:25- And what will you get if you get cold?- A chesty cough?

1:31:25 > 1:31:31- No. A cuddle.- Brrrr! I've just come over all chilly.

1:31:36 > 1:31:40- Can we play on the beach? - Yeah, come on, then.

1:31:42 > 1:31:45- Liam, come on. - I'll play with them. Not you.

1:31:45 > 1:31:49- Oi, Liam.- He's the reason we're being chucked out onto the streets!

1:31:49 > 1:31:52No, he ain't. I think you'll find that's me.

1:31:52 > 1:31:57He was supposed to come back with money, but he never. Cos he's useless!

1:31:58 > 1:32:00Right, come on, then.

1:32:00 > 1:32:01I'll race you to the beach!

1:32:01 > 1:32:03Come on, then.

1:32:03 > 1:32:06He's just being mouthy. Just being a kid.

1:32:06 > 1:32:10- Ricky knows that.- It's not taking your mind off it, is it?

1:32:10 > 1:32:13Bianca will be out soon, she'll sort out Ricky and the kids.

1:32:13 > 1:32:18- You shouldn't have to worry about them.- Neither should you.- Me?

1:32:18 > 1:32:22- It's what I do. I'll go to my grave worrying about someone or other. - What do I do?

1:32:22 > 1:32:25Sit around counting earrings?

1:32:25 > 1:32:28D'you know, it's at times like this

1:32:28 > 1:32:30I could do with a man around to lean on.

1:32:30 > 1:32:32I know that's not the right-on thing to say.

1:32:32 > 1:32:35Because we're strong, independent women.

1:32:35 > 1:32:37We don't need men.

1:32:37 > 1:32:40Well, I'm sorry, sometimes I do.

1:32:41 > 1:32:45I'd give anything to have Frank or Roy around right now.

1:32:46 > 1:32:50Listen to me! It's this place!

1:32:50 > 1:32:52Everywhere I look I see ghosts.

1:32:54 > 1:32:56I should have put more vinegar on these chips!

1:33:03 > 1:33:06I wonder what culinary hell we'll be put through tonight.

1:33:06 > 1:33:10- I thought Ian was a good cook. - Oh, the food will be delicious.

1:33:10 > 1:33:14It's the smug sauce he'll be serving with it that'll turn your stomach.

1:33:14 > 1:33:17Sorry. I keep talking about Ian, don't I?

1:33:17 > 1:33:20You know, when they rescue people who've been held captive,

1:33:20 > 1:33:25they get them to talk about their kidnappers. It helps.

1:33:25 > 1:33:26I don't feel so bad now!

1:33:26 > 1:33:30We're bound to talk about our exes.

1:33:30 > 1:33:35I know you don't want to talk about it today,

1:33:35 > 1:33:38but Zainab can't take Kamil out of the country

1:33:38 > 1:33:42- without you agreeing, surely? - I still don't think they'll go.

1:33:42 > 1:33:47But if they do, I'll have to follow. You know that, don't you?

1:33:47 > 1:33:49I mean, clearly I'm not going to give up.

1:33:49 > 1:33:53- Yeah, I know.- I'm sorry.

1:33:54 > 1:33:58I just wanted to do something nice for you and I just made you sad.

1:33:58 > 1:34:01You make me so happy, you do.

1:34:01 > 1:34:09It's just...now I've got you, I don't want to let you go.

1:34:18 > 1:34:19Come on, Morgan!

1:34:25 > 1:34:28Sea air. Meant to be good for you.

1:34:28 > 1:34:32Mind you, I'd rather have the air in a pub right now.

1:34:32 > 1:34:35Oh, Liam, give him a bit of slack.

1:34:35 > 1:34:37He's blaming himself enough as it is.

1:34:37 > 1:34:41- Why can't we be a normal family, eh? - Normal? Where's the fun in that?

1:34:46 > 1:34:48Why don't you go down there and join in?

1:34:49 > 1:34:53- Don't want to.- Fair enough, you're the one missing out.

1:34:57 > 1:35:01Here, kids, you going to go in the sea?

1:35:01 > 1:35:03It's freezing!

1:35:03 > 1:35:06You'll go for a paddle, won't you, Tiff?

1:35:06 > 1:35:07Yeah!

1:35:08 > 1:35:12If they get a cold before Christmas, it's your fault.

1:35:12 > 1:35:16Oh, come on, don't you tell me you've never kicked your shoes off

1:35:16 > 1:35:18and splashed about with some boy. I know I have!

1:35:18 > 1:35:23I'd give anything to be down there, feeling the sand between my toes.

1:35:23 > 1:35:26Go on, what's stopping you?

1:35:26 > 1:35:30They don't want an old bird spoiling their fun.

1:35:32 > 1:35:35Age sneaks up on you, you know.

1:35:35 > 1:35:40But I tell you something - in here, you're always a kid.

1:35:42 > 1:35:45Come on, Liam, let's get some ice creams.

1:36:02 > 1:36:04You two still on for tonight?

1:36:04 > 1:36:06Looking forward to it!

1:36:09 > 1:36:13- Yusef, no! Yusef, please!- Yes. I want him to hear the good news from us.

1:36:13 > 1:36:14- Masood.- What?

1:36:14 > 1:36:16Just so you know, we've managed to speed things up

1:36:16 > 1:36:20- and we're leaving for Pakistan in a couple of weeks.- Two weeks!

1:36:20 > 1:36:22Come on, we've got an appointment.

1:36:22 > 1:36:25How can you do this, Zainab? Taking Kamil to another country?

1:36:25 > 1:36:28This is a private matter. Nothing to do with you.

1:36:28 > 1:36:30- Don't speak to her like that! - It's got everything to do with me!

1:36:30 > 1:36:34I can see how much it's hurting Masood, when he's done nothing.

1:36:34 > 1:36:38Nothing? And I suppose you've done nothing as well?

1:36:38 > 1:36:41- It started with you two sneaking off together.- Change the record!

1:36:41 > 1:36:43We were friends, that's all. But you can't understand that -

1:36:43 > 1:36:45you don't have any friends!

1:36:45 > 1:36:48- I've got plenty, thank you! - Really? Where are they?

1:36:48 > 1:36:51Where are they? You lock yourself away for days,

1:36:51 > 1:36:54- and when you do step out of the house, you're in his shadow!- Zainab.

1:36:54 > 1:36:56I'm not going to let you take my son.

1:36:56 > 1:36:59- Masood has rights. Kamil has rights! - What about Bobby?

1:36:59 > 1:37:03- Didn't stop you abandoning him! - I never! He's always been to see me.

1:37:03 > 1:37:05- Come away.- Jane, let's go.

1:37:05 > 1:37:08Children need their parents! Mother and father.

1:37:08 > 1:37:10Kamil has got Yusef, then!

1:37:10 > 1:37:12He has me!

1:37:12 > 1:37:15People are watching. Come on, Zainab.

1:37:15 > 1:37:17- Masood, take Jane away. - You don't tell me what to do.

1:37:17 > 1:37:20I do when it concerns my wife. Come on, Zainab.

1:37:20 > 1:37:21You're ruining lives!

1:37:21 > 1:37:24You'd know all about that, Jane!

1:37:24 > 1:37:27- What do you think you're doing? - Telling her she's in the wrong!

1:37:27 > 1:37:30- I'm standing up for you! - You're making matters worse!

1:37:36 > 1:37:38Waves come in. Waves go out.

1:37:40 > 1:37:42Yeah.

1:37:44 > 1:37:47Be nice if they washed our troubles away as easy, wouldn't it?

1:37:49 > 1:37:50Don't worry about Bianca.

1:37:50 > 1:37:53Her being in prison, there's bound to be the odd fight.

1:37:53 > 1:37:58But it don't mean anything. We all know she's mad about you.

1:37:58 > 1:38:01Just like you're mad about her.

1:38:01 > 1:38:04- Pat, I...- What?

1:38:08 > 1:38:11I'd give anything to pay that debt off for you.

1:38:11 > 1:38:15Oh, that would only keep them at bay for a little while, darling.

1:38:15 > 1:38:19But it's all right, I've had an idea.

1:38:19 > 1:38:22I know what I've got to do.

1:38:24 > 1:38:26You're a good boy, Ricky.

1:38:27 > 1:38:28And you're a good mum.

1:38:30 > 1:38:32Well, if you can't help your kids...

1:38:32 > 1:38:35I don't mean just David and Simon.

1:38:35 > 1:38:38You've been a good mum to me too.

1:38:40 > 1:38:45And, you know, I know I don't say it often enough, but...thanks.

1:38:54 > 1:38:58Come on. Let's get back to reality.

1:39:08 > 1:39:09I'm so sorry I lost it.

1:39:09 > 1:39:12I just hate the way Zainab's controlling your life!

1:39:12 > 1:39:15Oh, the last thing I need right now is to spend the evening

1:39:15 > 1:39:17with Ian and his trophy girlfriend!

1:39:17 > 1:39:19Come here.

1:39:24 > 1:39:27I'm not going to let that man ruin my life any more.

1:39:27 > 1:39:30I'm going to phone my solicitor this afternoon.

1:39:30 > 1:39:33I'll fight for my son. MY son.

1:39:35 > 1:39:39But tonight, one of our exes is holding out the hand of friendship,

1:39:39 > 1:39:41and I think we should take it.

1:39:41 > 1:39:45We should eat his food and laugh at his jokes.

1:39:45 > 1:39:47They're never funny.

1:39:48 > 1:39:51We can hold hands under the table.

1:39:53 > 1:39:55That sounds nice.

1:40:03 > 1:40:07- My wife does not scream in the street!- You're blaming me?!

1:40:07 > 1:40:10- She attacked me!- My wife is dignified! She walks away!

1:40:10 > 1:40:13- I'm just meant to ignore that? - Yes! I told you to stop!

1:40:13 > 1:40:15I told you, and you carried on in front of that man!

1:40:15 > 1:40:18Well, I'm sorry, but if someone is going to attack me,

1:40:18 > 1:40:21- I can't just turn my back on them. - Yes, you can!

1:40:21 > 1:40:24Well, you shouldn't have broken the news to Masood like that.

1:40:24 > 1:40:25You're blaming me?

1:40:25 > 1:40:31No, I'm... I am just saying that Masood was bound to be upset.

1:40:31 > 1:40:35- He loves Kamil.- That man is going to be breathing down our necks forever.

1:40:35 > 1:40:38What do you expect? Because we're taking him away from him.

1:40:38 > 1:40:41He doesn't want ME back. He wants Kamil.

1:40:41 > 1:40:45- Then give the boy to him!- What? - If that's what it takes for us to be free of Masood,

1:40:45 > 1:40:48it's a small price to pay! Offload the boy and then we can be free.

1:40:48 > 1:40:51He'll only ever be an outcast to me anyway.

1:40:55 > 1:40:58Oh, Yusef, I'm so sorry! Yusef, I'm really, really sorry!

1:41:03 > 1:41:06You made me do this. You made me hit you!

1:41:06 > 1:41:10Is that what you want? Is that what you're used to?

1:41:10 > 1:41:12If you raise your hand to me again, Zainab,

1:41:12 > 1:41:15- I will take Kamil and I will get rid of him myself!- No!

1:41:15 > 1:41:16And Tamwar too.

1:41:16 > 1:41:21If you bring him into this, I won't be responsible for my actions.

1:41:22 > 1:41:26- You understand me?- Yes! Yes, I'm sorry!- Do you understand me?

1:41:26 > 1:41:28Yusef, Yusef, please, no! Yusef!

1:41:42 > 1:41:45Why couldn't we have stayed in Clacton for ever?

1:41:45 > 1:41:47Cos this is where we live.

1:41:47 > 1:41:50Will all our stuff be chucked outside?

1:41:50 > 1:41:53- What?- That's what I heard you say to Nana Pat.

1:41:53 > 1:41:57When we get back, the men will have been and all our stuff will be dumped outside.

1:41:57 > 1:41:59No, love, it won't be like that.

1:41:59 > 1:42:01I don't mind. We've been homeless before,

1:42:01 > 1:42:05but Dad wasn't with us then, so it'll be better this time.

1:42:05 > 1:42:08Yeah, cos he does a great job of looking after us, don't he(?)

1:42:08 > 1:42:12- Liam!- What? Another great Christmas this is going to be(!)

1:42:17 > 1:42:19Go on, love, you go ahead.

1:42:19 > 1:42:21I've got somebody I need to see.

1:42:21 > 1:42:24- Who?- I am entitled to a private life, aren't I?

1:42:24 > 1:42:26Go on. They'll want their teas.

1:42:40 > 1:42:43There, you see, that was a funny joke.

1:42:43 > 1:42:46You know what? Jane never used to find my jokes funny.

1:42:46 > 1:42:49Oh, I found the more I drank, the funnier they became.

1:42:49 > 1:42:51Top me up, please.

1:42:53 > 1:42:55You know, this is gorgeous, Ian, it really is.

1:42:55 > 1:42:58One of the great things about Ian, Mandy, is you'll never have to cook,

1:42:58 > 1:43:02which for me was massive - you know, cooking all day in the cafe.

1:43:02 > 1:43:04Yeah. My mum's cafe, the one you sold to Phil.

1:43:04 > 1:43:08It's all water under the bridge now, Ian.

1:43:08 > 1:43:12I mean, come on, look at us, sat around the same table.

1:43:12 > 1:43:14Being adults.

1:43:14 > 1:43:19- Yeah.- Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's really good, especially for Bobby.

1:43:19 > 1:43:22Absolutely. And you two are happy.

1:43:22 > 1:43:25Engaged and everything.

1:43:25 > 1:43:27And me and Masood, well...

1:43:27 > 1:43:33- We're just enjoying really getting to know each other, aren't we?- Oh, yeah.

1:43:33 > 1:43:36It's all worked out for the best, hasn't it?

1:43:36 > 1:43:38You've got the sensitive man you can talk to

1:43:38 > 1:43:41and I've got the girl of my dreams.

1:43:43 > 1:43:46- What?- (Hand.)

1:44:01 > 1:44:06- Hello, Patty.- Janine.

1:44:06 > 1:44:09D'you know, I think we must have had a really bad reception,

1:44:09 > 1:44:11cos I could swear when we spoke on the phone

1:44:11 > 1:44:12that you asked for my help.

1:44:12 > 1:44:16You know I wouldn't be here if I had any other option.

1:44:17 > 1:44:20You don't even try to disguise your contempt for me, do you?

1:44:20 > 1:44:24- I don't need a row. - Well, you NEED something.

1:44:25 > 1:44:28How was Clacton?

1:44:28 > 1:44:30It was a last-minute thing, you know, treat for the kids.

1:44:30 > 1:44:32Oh, fun and frolics for all the family.

1:44:32 > 1:44:35Very clever, the way you always manage to remind me I'm an outsider.

1:44:35 > 1:44:39- Don't be daft.- You know what I really, really love about you, Pat?

1:44:39 > 1:44:43The way that I'm dead to you one minute,

1:44:43 > 1:44:47and the next, you're crawling like a little snake,

1:44:47 > 1:44:48asking for my help.

1:44:48 > 1:44:50So what is it this time?

1:44:50 > 1:44:52Tiffany needs a new pair of shoes?

1:44:52 > 1:44:55Or maybe little Morgan needs a crust of bread?

1:44:55 > 1:44:58I took out a loan on the house to help my son Simon,

1:44:58 > 1:45:02and now I've had this letter.

1:45:05 > 1:45:09They say they'll repossess the house if I don't pay the money back.

1:45:09 > 1:45:11We're expecting the bailiffs any minute.

1:45:14 > 1:45:16How much?

1:45:16 > 1:45:21Um... Fif...Fifty grand.

1:45:34 > 1:45:36It's that simple?

1:45:36 > 1:45:41You wouldn't ask me if you weren't desperate.

1:45:45 > 1:45:48- I don't know what to say. - You don't need to say anything.

1:45:54 > 1:45:59It was a chicken. It was a china chicken to keep eggs in.

1:45:59 > 1:46:02- Happy Christmas, Jane(!) - It was a collectable piece!

1:46:02 > 1:46:06And then the next year it was a set of oven mitts and matching apron.

1:46:06 > 1:46:09- Like I didn't have enough aprons! - That was a joke present!

1:46:09 > 1:46:13D'you know what? You are just remembering what you want to remember.

1:46:13 > 1:46:16I've had some corkers in my time.

1:46:16 > 1:46:18Let's see - black eyes, stolen handbags.

1:46:18 > 1:46:23- Oh no, no, wait - I did have a guy once that gave me a puppy.- Ahh.

1:46:23 > 1:46:27Ate my selection box and puked in my face.

1:46:27 > 1:46:30Yeah, well, there won't be any more rubbish presents.

1:46:30 > 1:46:33- Not now you're with me. - Oh, please.

1:46:33 > 1:46:36Make the most of it, Mandy, because once he's got that wedding ring

1:46:36 > 1:46:37on your finger, you'll see the real Ian.

1:46:37 > 1:46:42Why don't you have some water? You don't want a headache in the morning.

1:46:42 > 1:46:43Oh. Did you see that, Mandy?

1:46:43 > 1:46:46He cares about me. He really does.

1:46:46 > 1:46:50Isn't he lovely? Onwards and upwards, no question.

1:46:50 > 1:46:52Yeah. He lives in a B&B.

1:46:52 > 1:46:55He could live in the gutter for all I care,

1:46:55 > 1:46:58cos he makes me happy.

1:46:58 > 1:47:00And you do, Masood, you make me really, really happy.

1:47:00 > 1:47:03- That's nice.- And I know you always will.

1:47:04 > 1:47:07You know, I was thinking last night.

1:47:07 > 1:47:09Working out where we'll all be in ten years' time, you know.

1:47:09 > 1:47:14Me and Mas. Well, I was thinking we'll have a successful business.

1:47:14 > 1:47:16Asian fusion restaurant.

1:47:16 > 1:47:19and a little house not so far away.

1:47:19 > 1:47:22Not too big but with a little garden for Bobby and Kamil to play in.

1:47:22 > 1:47:27And we'll travel the world and have lovely holidays.

1:47:27 > 1:47:29Starting with our honeymoon.

1:47:30 > 1:47:34You... You've really thought about this, haven't you?

1:47:34 > 1:47:39But you can't get married, can you? Well, you're both from different religions.

1:47:39 > 1:47:43I know that sort of stuff doesn't bother you, but it does you.

1:47:44 > 1:47:47- So I'll convert. - Yeah, right!

1:47:49 > 1:47:51Yeah, that's what I'll do.

1:47:51 > 1:47:53I'll become a Muslim.

1:47:53 > 1:47:57DRAINS GLASS AND SLAMS ON TABLE

1:48:41 > 1:48:42Where are you going?

1:48:51 > 1:48:55- I need some milk. - There's no need to take Kamil. It's cold out.

1:48:57 > 1:48:59Give him to me.

1:49:00 > 1:49:01Give him to me, Zainab.

1:49:14 > 1:49:15Don't be long.

1:49:26 > 1:49:28Uh...I forgot the money.

1:50:27 > 1:50:30I'll have some paperwork drawn up first thing.

1:50:30 > 1:50:33- Paperwork?- Well, I need some security, Pat. You must realise that.

1:50:33 > 1:50:35In case you miss a repayment.

1:50:35 > 1:50:40- What sort of security? - Uh, your house, of course.

1:50:40 > 1:50:44I mean, we all need a little bit of security sometimes, don't we?

1:50:44 > 1:50:47Night-night. Sleep tight.

1:51:29 > 1:51:32Well, it's been... it's been fun.

1:51:32 > 1:51:34Yeah, yeah. We should return the favour.

1:51:34 > 1:51:37Yeah. I mean, no rush, though.

1:51:37 > 1:51:40- No. No.- You're not going, are you?

1:51:40 > 1:51:43- I've got some champagne. - Bubbles.

1:51:43 > 1:51:44We should go.

1:51:44 > 1:51:46Why have we got champagne?

1:51:46 > 1:51:49Because I've got an announcement to make.

1:51:50 > 1:51:56- What kind of announcement? - The best kind. Now I was gonna tell you later on,

1:51:56 > 1:52:00but I thought, well, we're amongst friends, aren't we?

1:52:00 > 1:52:05I had a call earlier on, from the registrar. He's had a cancellation and I've taken it.

1:52:06 > 1:52:09So we can get married. Surprise!

1:52:13 > 1:52:16- When?- Monday.

1:52:16 > 1:52:20Well, we know that we want to marry each other.

1:52:20 > 1:52:23And this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

1:52:23 > 1:52:27See, Jane, you're not the only one with a life plan.

1:52:38 > 1:52:43- You weren't gone long. - Where's Kamil?

1:52:43 > 1:52:44Playing.

1:52:56 > 1:52:59What you need is coffee, and lots of it.

1:53:01 > 1:53:06- Do Muslims drink coffee? - Only if it's halal.

1:53:11 > 1:53:16Did you see the look on Mandy's face?

1:53:16 > 1:53:19Like a turkey realising it's Christmas.

1:53:41 > 1:53:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:53:43 > 1:53:45E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk