23/10/2011

0:00:24 > 0:00:26ALFIE: 'Listen, sweetheart.

0:00:26 > 0:00:30'I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier on, you know.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33'Well, I was just a bit...

0:00:33 > 0:00:36'You looked absolutely stunning in your dress. And, um...

0:00:36 > 0:00:40'Well, have a good time and I'll see you later. I love you, bye.'

0:00:41 > 0:00:43It's companionship, yes.

0:00:43 > 0:00:49But it's also... I don't know, a feeling I get when I'm around him.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51A...zing!

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Hello, sweetheart, what can I get you?

0:00:53 > 0:00:55- Glass of white wine, please. - Large one?

0:00:55 > 0:00:59- Do you know what I mean, Alfie? - Yes, course I do. Oh, Kat, lovely.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02Jean was just... Can't wait to tell you about her zing.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06Is that what they're calling it these days? Why the shirt?

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Well, it's my favourite shirt, innit?

0:01:08 > 0:01:13- And the hat? - Kat, it's in case it gets cold.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Oi! Not in front of the punters! - I knew it! Boiled sweets.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18You're going football.

0:01:18 > 0:01:23- Kat, listen. It's just that Anthony got us tickets.- How do I run this place on my own on a Saturday?

0:01:23 > 0:01:26- You know... Kim said she'd help out. - Did she rubbish.

0:01:26 > 0:01:30- Shall we talk about your tab? - Ready whenever you need me.- No.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32Oh, Kat, please, come on.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35Me and Anthony ain't been since Tony Cottee was there. You'll manage.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40All right, fair enough.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- Glass of white wine? - Did someone drop this?

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Thank you. Kat was saying how happy she is for you and Norman. Yes, mate?

0:01:47 > 0:01:51Right, mate, we'll have 14 pints of lager and a yard of ale.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Fell asleep in the cinema the other night.

0:01:53 > 0:01:57Just crossing the border, they were, in the film.

0:01:57 > 0:01:58Into Switzerland, I think.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02Anyway, I turn round and Norman is sound asleep.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06- 14 pints of lager and a yard of ale. It's a pub crawl for Rabbit.- Rabbit?

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Yeah, scrum-half, Rabbit. Birthday boy, somewhere.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12It's because we're so relaxed in each other's company.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15And I was wondering that maybe it might be time

0:02:15 > 0:02:18that we think about living together. Here.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Do we even have a yard? - Yeah, in the barrel store.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25- It feels right, don't you think? - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.- Really?

0:02:25 > 0:02:28- Whatever makes you happy, Jean. - Yes!

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Give us ten minutes. Just to talk, OK?

0:02:32 > 0:02:35Yeah, I understand that.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37- It's important for Syed. - And Christian.

0:02:37 > 0:02:41- And Christian. Yes.- Are you serious? - I haven't seen Amira in ages.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43- She's not four!- Except mentally.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47- OK. Here she is.- That's not...

0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Yes.- Oh, it is! Come on, come on.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57A welcoming party!

0:02:57 > 0:02:59- Let me get that.- How are you?

0:02:59 > 0:03:02- I'm very well. It's good to see you. - Good.

0:03:02 > 0:03:07- Stop torturing yourself. - I just want to see my daughter.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09And you will, all right?

0:03:09 > 0:03:12He'll call when he's ready.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14Now you can help me with this.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18- With what?- Tidying up.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21What, fitness magazines and Dance Anthems CDs?

0:03:21 > 0:03:25Yeah, just pop them in the cupboard, will you?

0:03:25 > 0:03:27Christian, are you de-gaying our flat?

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Look, Sy, it can't hurt for Amira to think of this place

0:03:37 > 0:03:40- as somewhere that Yasmin can stay. - I don't believe this.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44- We have to be clever about this. - You're saying we're ashamed of who we are.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48That I should hide it from my daughter who I haven't even met yet!

0:03:48 > 0:03:53Do I really look like the sort of person that's ashamed of who I am?

0:03:54 > 0:03:55Hm?

0:03:57 > 0:03:59What's the most important thing here?

0:04:02 > 0:04:04You and me.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08Exactly. So...

0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Rufus Wainwright?- He's in.

0:04:13 > 0:04:17Happy driving, mate. Have a great weekend!

0:04:17 > 0:04:20- You sold it?- ABC, sweetheart.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Always Be Closing. - Listen, do you fancy a drink?

0:04:23 > 0:04:27What, on a roll like this? I could sell half a dozen in the next 20 minutes!

0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Oi, go on, off you go.- What, really?

0:04:30 > 0:04:33That thing's been sitting there for weeks. You've earned it.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36- I'll look after the place. - Wicked! Well, let's do this.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38But I've got to go home and get changed.

0:04:38 > 0:04:43And I was telling them about our zing, and you falling asleep in the cinema.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46- The Switzerland bit.- Hmm?

0:04:46 > 0:04:50- Well, they think it's a great idea. - Terrific.

0:04:50 > 0:04:54Just think of all the extra time we'll have together.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57Sorry. How's that?

0:04:57 > 0:05:00We'll be living together. Here. Oh!

0:05:05 > 0:05:09- Reminds me...- 30 Geordies on that Spanish stag do?

0:05:09 > 0:05:14- They loved you.- All them offers I got, could have run away with 30 different blokes.- Yeah.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17To Newcastle? Off you go then, pet.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21No, seriously, Kat. Had it been yesterday, I'd have deserved it.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Alfie...- No, seriously, sweetheart. Seriously.

0:05:24 > 0:05:28Fair's fair. I was a pillock. Right, come on, fellas!

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Hi, sweetheart. Scotch, when you're ready.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38What are you... Get out!

0:05:38 > 0:05:40That's quick, even for you.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42- So what will it be, boss? - No, it's fine.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46- Said I'd help, I'm helping. - Scotch and dry, please, darling.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50- Ooh, a gentleman.- Alfie, do you think you'll still make the game?

0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Just, darling. - Go on then, off you go.

0:05:53 > 0:05:57- What about all the...- It's fine.

0:05:57 > 0:05:58- You serious?- Yeah.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01What a woman. How lucky am I, eh? CHEERING

0:06:01 > 0:06:05Got a free pass to the Hammers! Come on, you Irons!

0:06:05 > 0:06:09- Alfie, could I have a word? - Yeah, make it quick, Norman.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16- Hello?- I'm in here.

0:06:16 > 0:06:17All right?

0:06:17 > 0:06:20How did it go with the accountant?

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Um... I thought I'd swerve it. I...

0:06:25 > 0:06:27..went up Bond Street instead.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30- What's that?- This is for you,

0:06:30 > 0:06:33for being so adorable.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35Ian!

0:06:35 > 0:06:37Open it...wet.

0:06:40 > 0:06:44It's a scarf.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46I can see that.

0:06:48 > 0:06:52Well, I don't mind if you want to change it.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53Wasn't cheap, though.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58So, um...

0:06:58 > 0:06:59So?

0:06:59 > 0:07:05Well, we're not doing anything right now, are we?

0:07:05 > 0:07:07- And?- Well...

0:07:07 > 0:07:11I just thought maybe we could have a little bit of afternoon delight.

0:07:11 > 0:07:16- What, you thought a scarf'd do the trick?- I thought you might like it.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Well, and the other as well, hopefully.

0:07:19 > 0:07:24It's just that it's been a while and we haven't, and...

0:07:24 > 0:07:26well, bloke's got needs, hasn't he?

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Take it back.

0:07:29 > 0:07:33- What?- Take it back.- Mand...

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Can I get a bottle of champs, please?

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Are you going to pour it all over my body?

0:07:44 > 0:07:47- SHE SQUEALS HAPPILY - Ooh, the bubbles!

0:07:54 > 0:07:57- We ain't got any. - What, you playing with my life?

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Do you know where you are?

0:08:01 > 0:08:03All right. I'll have a look.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06Listen, when you got a Too Legit To Quit gangsta up in your ends, yeah,

0:08:06 > 0:08:10you got to keep that shizzle frizzle dizzle gizzle on ice, get me?!

0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Hold on. Look, look.- Is it French?

0:08:13 > 0:08:14Bulgarian.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Don't know where that come from.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20- What, chill for 20 minutes, call it 30 quid?- It's Bulgarian!

0:08:20 > 0:08:22You want it or not? Hmm?

0:08:22 > 0:08:25Gangsta(!)

0:08:28 > 0:08:32- Absolutely.- Hmm, absolutely.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34Is she worth it?

0:08:36 > 0:08:41- Trust me, I don't want to move in. - But she thinks you do?- Yeah.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45- Norman, she's got her hopes up.- Yes!

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Alfie...- All right, all right, just leave it with me.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58- We need new bedding. - There's nothing wrong with it!

0:08:58 > 0:09:01- There's no need to get aggressive. - I'm not being...

0:09:03 > 0:09:06Sorry, I'm not being aggressive.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Just something more neutral.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12- I'm going to go over.- Your dad's not rung yet. Just be patient.

0:09:12 > 0:09:16Just to talk to her. She's not totally unreasonable.

0:09:20 > 0:09:24- This is the funnest baby in the world!- Careful with the bouncing. SHE CRIES LOUDLY

0:09:26 > 0:09:31Ahh, come to me. Come to me. Come on. Let Dhada-ji clean you up.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Come on. Thank you.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Put that there. - Such a homely girl, Afia.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Good wedding?

0:09:39 > 0:09:43Uh, well, didn't go as smoothly as yours.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45Look how that turned out.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49She's an absolute angel.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Just seeing you with her.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56Seeing her little Shabnam nose.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Makes me a bit...

0:09:59 > 0:10:02I heard things have been difficult.

0:10:04 > 0:10:09You know, sometimes I think about before the wedding.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Me and Syed, you and Zainab,

0:10:11 > 0:10:14everyone excited together. SHE SIGHS

0:10:14 > 0:10:19I wish I could go back there. It was the happiest time of my life.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Well, Syed's very excited about her.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Is he?

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Well, we all are. But Syed in particular.

0:10:30 > 0:10:36You know, he'd make a terrific father.

0:10:36 > 0:10:41- Except he's gay.- Yeah.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44And you approve of that?

0:10:44 > 0:10:49Well, she is Syed's daughter. They should have some contact.

0:10:49 > 0:10:54- They? This is about them now? - Yes, both. Of course.

0:10:54 > 0:10:58Even though you don't approve of their relationship?

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Christian is part of Syed's life now.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04- You know it's wrong. And unnatural. - I didn't say that.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07You are on my side though, aren't you?

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Deep down, you know the best way of doing things

0:11:10 > 0:11:13- is Mum, Dad, and baby. - Amira, I didn't say that.

0:11:15 > 0:11:20Would you let them raise Kamil? KNOCKING ON DOOR

0:11:20 > 0:11:21I'll get it.

0:11:25 > 0:11:30Syed. She's awesome, she's amazing. She looks just like Shabnam.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Amazing.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34- What's that...- Huh?

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Oh, it's baby vomit.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Yasmin.- He was bouncing her.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Come on, clean up.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Come on through, guys.- Hello, Syed.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Amira. How are you?

0:11:48 > 0:11:51Your dad and I were just having a chat.

0:11:51 > 0:11:56- About how important it is for Yasmin to spend time with her dad. - That's what I want.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Good. But not him.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02- Sorry?- I explained, Syed.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04- Not him.- Amira, you can't just...

0:12:04 > 0:12:08- Dad?- He agrees with me.- What?

0:12:08 > 0:12:12He thinks having your boyfriend involved

0:12:12 > 0:12:13in Yasmin's life is just wrong.

0:12:13 > 0:12:17- I didn't say that!- Come on Sy, let's go.- You can leave whenever you like.

0:12:17 > 0:12:22You can't stop me seeing her. I've spoken to a solicitor. And we've got rights.

0:12:22 > 0:12:23I'd never stand in the way.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26I just hope we're not abroad by the time it gets sorted out.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30- What?- You expect my grandparents to travel here at their age?!

0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Oh, come on, Amira. - You can't take her away.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37Just for a visit. You know what families are like.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Once they've got her there, they won't want to let her go.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44- You're a piece of work! - Or you can come in and see her now. On your own.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48YASMIN GRIZZLES Oh, there she is.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52She'd love it if her dad came to hold her. Calm her down.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Sy...

0:12:57 > 0:12:58It's you and me.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07You'll hear from our solicitor.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10- YASMIN CRIES - I'll go.- Mum knows best.

0:13:19 > 0:13:20- No room?- No room.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24- But Kat...- Yeah, I know what Kat said, sweetheart.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26But what with the kids and Mo...

0:13:28 > 0:13:31There's just not enough space, babe.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33- Hey, come on. You all right?- Course.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35Yes? Good girl.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38MOBILE RINGS

0:13:38 > 0:13:41Anthony! Course I'm on my way, mate.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44Just got to... Yeah, no, definitely.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Oi! What are you still doing here?

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Sorry, had to troubleshoot a human resources issue.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53Just getting me coat. I'm on my way, mate. Come on, you Hammers!

0:14:00 > 0:14:02It doesn't have to be here, does it?

0:14:02 > 0:14:06- What?- Little one-bedroom would do us.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08- Jean...- Or a two-bed.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11I mean, Bradley was always saying you can't move for two-beds in Walford.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15Jean, I don't think I can move in with you.

0:14:15 > 0:14:19Oh, it doesn't have to be now. When the time is right.

0:14:19 > 0:14:24I don't think the time will ever be right, Jean.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26- Oh.- Look at you.

0:14:26 > 0:14:31You are a wonderful, vibrant, beautiful young woman.

0:14:31 > 0:14:36And I'm a weathered, unreliable old rogue.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38I think you're lovely.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40You're too good for me, Jean.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Anyone can see that.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Best I could hope for is to be your friend.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Just friends, then?

0:14:50 > 0:14:53I think it's for the best, Jean.

0:15:00 > 0:15:07Yeah, and then Shelly, now Shelly is three, comes up to me at playgroup and says "Whitney"

0:15:07 > 0:15:09I went, "Yeah?"

0:15:09 > 0:15:13She goes, "I can't really do it today, I feel really fragile".

0:15:13 > 0:15:14Fragile, how cute is that?

0:15:14 > 0:15:16How clever are they, eh?

0:15:16 > 0:15:19I know, probably got it off her mum or the telly or something.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21So, you're doing really good?

0:15:21 > 0:15:22Yeah, I'm doing all right.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26No, you are, I can see it, man.

0:15:26 > 0:15:27I bet they love you.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33- Are you good?- Yeah, yeah. How them Dodgers going?

0:15:33 > 0:15:36- What you talking about?- Wears the hat, don't even follow baseball.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Oh, I see. You want a drink?

0:15:38 > 0:15:42Oh, yeah, I'll have one of these delicious little fruity numbers you're having.

0:15:42 > 0:15:47- You like them too?- Mate. Pint. - All right, cool. Same again?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49You all right, Whit?

0:15:49 > 0:15:53- Yeah.- You got your hair down.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55- Yeah.- No, it's nice.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58- I like it like that.- Yeah.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00You wearing it?

0:16:04 > 0:16:05Yeah.

0:16:12 > 0:16:13Only if you want to.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Yeah, I do want to.

0:16:25 > 0:16:30Yeah, so that was a pint and some orange thing...

0:16:38 > 0:16:41Hey, hey, be nice, will ya?

0:16:41 > 0:16:47- Wouldn't want anything to slip to your hubby, would we?- Hubby's gone, mate. You're fresh out of leverage.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52- Here, where do I know him from? - You don't.

0:16:52 > 0:16:57Tuesday I was out in Shoreditch, and this guy goosed me on the dance floor. Yeah, that's him.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59You don't know him.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05It's you, innit? R&Rs, yeah.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08He was proper giving you the eye.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11- So what, you and him?- Kim, will you shut up just for five minutes?

0:17:11 > 0:17:16Listen, don't take it out on me, you know, cos you've got a hangover.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Might give it a crack, myself.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21- What makes you think that? - Just something in the way you walk.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24I've been trying to figure it out for ages.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26You were a soldier, yeah?

0:17:26 > 0:17:30- I was a copper. - So you can handle yourself, then.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Excuse me.- I mean, Physically.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37- I do all right, darling.- Excuse me. - I'll leave you to it.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40- You all right, Ian?- Yeah.- Good one.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44What was that all about?

0:17:44 > 0:17:45None of your business.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48I thought we could go for a drive or something.

0:17:48 > 0:17:53What, nice family car, flask of tea, little tartan rug for me legs?

0:17:53 > 0:17:56Actually I got us a nice bottle of wine. 20 quid, this cost.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Painting my nails. - You did them earlier!

0:17:59 > 0:18:02Colour didn't work out. Maybe another time, eh?

0:18:10 > 0:18:14She takes Yasmin to Pakistan, we might as well just give up.

0:18:14 > 0:18:18You think things are hard for us here? Over there we might as well not exist. And Dad...

0:18:18 > 0:18:22In 20 minutes he goes from, "Syed and Christian are good people"

0:18:22 > 0:18:24to, "You're right, we should burn them alive".

0:18:24 > 0:18:27I think we should go brown.

0:18:27 > 0:18:31- Sorry, what are you talking about? - The walls. Get rid of that paper.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35I don't care about the walls! Amira might be taking my daughter to Pakistan.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38- All you care about is the paintjob. - You think that's it, Sy?

0:18:38 > 0:18:41You think with all this going on that's what I care about,

0:18:41 > 0:18:44the colour of the walls? Are you an idiot?

0:18:45 > 0:18:48This is our home! The only concrete thing

0:18:48 > 0:18:51we have, and I will not let her use that, or our lifestyle against us.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- She wouldn't do that.- Oh, really.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01Look, Sy, I saw you.

0:19:01 > 0:19:08When that baby cried out, it was like you were being physically pulled into that house.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11You've got this look about you.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13- She's my daughter.- I know.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15And it's a look you never had

0:19:15 > 0:19:18when we were trying to adopt.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21I'm worried if it comes down to a choice between Yasmin and me...

0:19:21 > 0:19:24- It won't.- Well, if it does...

0:19:24 > 0:19:26You and me.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34These are Premier League approved.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37- Even that West Ham one, yeah? - Champions next season.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Go on then. - Anthony will panic if you're late.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Here, Kat, Mark here right...

0:19:41 > 0:19:44I believe he's going to buy some of my genuine approved merchandise.

0:19:44 > 0:19:49- Sadly, he's a Spurs fan, but a sale's a sale, all right.- Hope you go down next season, an' all.

0:19:49 > 0:19:53Listen to him! We will be champions of Europe before you know it.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Oh, listen, I forgot my phone, I better go and get it.

0:19:55 > 0:19:59I'm cutting it a bit fine, but I'll catch you later. See you later. Bye.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01- Hadn't gone after all. - He's my husband.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Did he know where you was last night?

0:20:06 > 0:20:09You think you can come in here, into my pub, and blackmail me?

0:20:09 > 0:20:11Who said anything about blackmail?

0:20:11 > 0:20:14- I'm enjoying a quiet drink. - And it's your last.

0:20:14 > 0:20:19Here we go, another scotch and dry. Large.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21On the house. Don't say we don't look after you.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Don't even like baseball and you go around with that hat.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Yeah, I thought we'd covered that, man.- Well, look, no,

0:20:31 > 0:20:33I put on an Orient shirt because I love Orient.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35But it's not the same thing.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37What is the stickers about?

0:20:37 > 0:20:39Yes! The stickers! Ain't you meant to take them...

0:20:39 > 0:20:46- Eh, easy, bruv, all right? Look, do you want another pint?- Mate, I've hardly started this one.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Keep up.

0:20:48 > 0:20:53- I got twice as much in here. - (MIMICS) I got twice as much in here.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56I might just kick out, anyway.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00- You are so getting out-drunk by a girl.- Woah. What about them drinks?

0:21:00 > 0:21:03Yeah, sorry, guys, man. Got to chase a few leads and that.

0:21:03 > 0:21:06Always be closing, you know me.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08I'll be back in a minute.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Fats.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- You all right?- We're supposed to be mates, yeah?- We are.

0:21:17 > 0:21:22Well, I'm there, buying her drinks and her hair's all down and that and you know, I think I'm in there.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25But no. Tyler Moon swoons in and does it again.

0:21:25 > 0:21:26Look, it's not like that, all right?

0:21:26 > 0:21:31- Whatever.- We ain't even done anything yet. I was going to tell you soon as.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33You going to be all right with it?

0:21:35 > 0:21:36Yeah, bruv. all good.

0:21:36 > 0:21:41Cos if you're not, I'll end it.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44- For real?- For real.

0:21:44 > 0:21:49- You don't want to do that. - Course I don't. You know her.- Yeah.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51But I will.

0:21:51 > 0:21:55Gangster! Champagne's ready.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57You know what, Kimberley?

0:21:57 > 0:22:01Give it to my brother here, all right. Enjoy, bruv.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04No worries.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10RINGTONE PLAYS

0:22:10 > 0:22:13Anthony! Yes, I can see the ground from here.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17I'm practically 30 seconds away, so...

0:22:17 > 0:22:18JEAN GROANS

0:22:18 > 0:22:20I'll call you back.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24You all right?

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Yes, thanks, Alfie. Fine.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28All fine here.

0:22:28 > 0:22:32Listen, I'm really sorry about the Norman thing, all right? We just don't have the room.

0:22:32 > 0:22:37- Oh, it's not Norman. Norman's fine. We're going to be friends.- Right.

0:22:37 > 0:22:38- So...- So...

0:22:40 > 0:22:43I take my tablets, every day.

0:22:43 > 0:22:49I talk with the doctor to keep the levels right, so I don't veer up and down like I used to.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56But that's better, yeah?

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Course it is. Much better.

0:22:58 > 0:23:04It's so much better that I think I've got it under control.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07But I haven't, Alfie. I think I have,

0:23:07 > 0:23:12I think that me and Norman have got something special...

0:23:12 > 0:23:14- Zing.- Yeah, that's it. Zing!

0:23:14 > 0:23:16I think we've got zing.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19Wrong again, Jean.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Thought you were so clever, didn't you, Jean?

0:23:22 > 0:23:27Thought you were doing so well without Stacey. Without Sean.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29But you're not.

0:23:31 > 0:23:36You're just walking through a fog you didn't even know was there.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Come here. Come on.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48JEAN SOBS

0:23:51 > 0:23:59- I have to fight just to get through every day, Alfie.- I know. I know.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01And still I lose.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03I still...

0:24:03 > 0:24:06I still get it wrong.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11Oi, oi, oi. Come on, it's all right.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16It's all right.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Do you fancy an ice cream?

0:24:19 > 0:24:24Yeah? Come on.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Come on, don't be like that.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32You was a mistake. A tiny, tiny mistake.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35I want you to pack up and go home. If I see you near here again...

0:24:35 > 0:24:38What you going to do, eh?

0:24:38 > 0:24:39Rabbit.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42This gentleman here would like to join you on a pub crawl.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44All right, let's take him with us.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Your problem is you've forgotten where you are.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49This is the Queen Victoria public house,

0:24:49 > 0:24:55and I make the rules, and you're gone, sweetheart.

0:24:55 > 0:24:56You have a nice day!

0:25:03 > 0:25:09- I've been thinking. What are you like with numbers?- I was a times-tables champion at school.

0:25:09 > 0:25:13Fantastic. See, right, I am looking for a bookkeeper for the Vic.

0:25:13 > 0:25:17Kat can't count past her fingers and Mo, well, she's just a thief.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19So, you interested?

0:25:19 > 0:25:23Yes, I can tell by the smile! Of course you are.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25Good girl

0:25:25 > 0:25:28No-o-o-o! What?!

0:25:28 > 0:25:31Hey, Mr Hotrod! What's all this then?

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Man's entitled to an upgrade, ain't he?

0:25:33 > 0:25:37Listen, my heart belongs to the black beauty over there but this...

0:25:37 > 0:25:41- My word.- Changed your mind about a drive, have you?

0:25:41 > 0:25:44Yes! Oh, yes!

0:25:44 > 0:25:48Right, you'll be needing that then. What do you think, Branning?

0:25:48 > 0:25:50What's that, Meat Loaf?

0:25:52 > 0:25:54- Yours?- Oh, yes.

0:25:54 > 0:25:58- You're so sneaky. - I do all right, darling.

0:25:58 > 0:26:02Drive safely. Look how fast it goes. He's a nutter!

0:26:02 > 0:26:06- Who was that?- If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. Come on, lick?

0:26:06 > 0:26:09- No, it's too cold for it. - The best ones always are.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14Nan's on her way back with Tommy and Shenice. She's got the trots.

0:26:16 > 0:26:19- No, Shenice.- Here, come on.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Come here.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24Two favourite girls. Let's enjoy this moment, eh? Yeah?

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Yeah.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Christian?

0:26:29 > 0:26:33I told you, babe, if we're going out, I need a little kip.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35All right, I'll leave you to it.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41Hey, you know that bedding? It's fine.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45- Well, we can change it if you want to.- No.

0:26:47 > 0:26:51- You know, you're a good man. - Yeah, yeah.

0:26:51 > 0:26:54Got a wife and a kid,

0:26:54 > 0:26:57and you put me first.

0:26:57 > 0:27:00And I love you for it.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02I love you too.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04We'll get there eventually.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19- Pop in anytime.- We will.

0:27:19 > 0:27:24- Please.- Thank you. Bye, everyone!

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Not quite the day I imagined.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36- York Way, near King's Cross, please. - Amira.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54Can I hold her?

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Please.

0:28:08 > 0:28:12Hello! Hello.

0:28:18 > 0:28:22Oh, she's... She's...

0:28:22 > 0:28:23I know.

0:28:25 > 0:28:28We made her, Syed.

0:28:29 > 0:28:31You and me.

0:28:37 > 0:28:39PHONE RINGS

0:28:40 > 0:28:42Hello, Queen Vic?

0:28:44 > 0:28:46I thought I told you to leave me alone.

0:28:49 > 0:28:51- Ah!- Where've you been?! - Close your eyes.

0:28:51 > 0:28:54- Close your eyes, no peeking. - What have you done?

0:28:54 > 0:28:57Never you mind. Keep them closed. I'll tell you when. Not yet.

0:28:57 > 0:28:59Right. Open.

0:29:00 > 0:29:02What do you reckon?

0:29:02 > 0:29:03It's a summer dress.

0:29:03 > 0:29:05Where we're going, it is summer.

0:29:05 > 0:29:07Alfie, what have you done?

0:29:07 > 0:29:10Apparently, in Funchal, it was 76 degrees yesterday.

0:29:10 > 0:29:13So I kind of call that summer.

0:29:13 > 0:29:16Tomorrow, we fly out from Luton airport. Bring it on!

0:29:16 > 0:29:19- Alfie!- Now this is a size ten. I don't think it'll fit me.

0:29:19 > 0:29:20Give me two minutes, all right?

0:29:20 > 0:29:22- Right, come on! - PHONE RINGS

0:29:22 > 0:29:27Don't answer it. It's telesales. They've been driving me nuts all morning.

0:29:29 > 0:29:31Nah, it'll be all right.

0:29:33 > 0:29:34Hello?

0:29:36 > 0:29:40You're through to the Queen Victoria, number one pub in London.

0:29:40 > 0:29:43If you'd like a pint of bitter, press one.

0:29:43 > 0:29:46If you'd like to ogle our barmaids, press two.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49Or if you'd like a punch-up, just press three. Beep!

0:29:50 > 0:29:52THEY LAUGH

0:29:52 > 0:29:55Right, Sheila, get the dress on now, before I get angry. Come on!

0:29:55 > 0:30:00- You're not going to the solicitor's now are you?- I told you.

0:30:00 > 0:30:02But I've got a client at the gym in 20 minutes.

0:30:02 > 0:30:04I can hardly change the appointment.

0:30:04 > 0:30:08- All right. Tell me all about it when you get home, yeah?- Yeah.- See you.

0:30:18 > 0:30:21Oh, Ian, that is so you!

0:30:21 > 0:30:24This, right, is called, repairing the damage.

0:30:24 > 0:30:28- Sorry? - Gordon Baggs invited me for a game. I could hardly say no.

0:30:28 > 0:30:32- I thought you'd been chucked out of that W... - CCT, yeah. I have been chucked out.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35But hopefully, by the end of this morning, I'll have been chucked back in.

0:30:35 > 0:30:38- Can I come?- No. You don't play golf.

0:30:38 > 0:30:41Yeah, and I don't suppose that stops YOU.

0:30:41 > 0:30:43I will be back by lunchtime.

0:30:43 > 0:30:46OK. Well, don't go getting any more speeding tickets.

0:30:46 > 0:30:48Is that meant to be funny?

0:30:48 > 0:30:51Can I take the car for a spin when you get back?

0:30:51 > 0:30:54Mandy, no, you can't! I've told you before, you're not insured, OK.

0:30:54 > 0:30:56It's against the law.

0:30:56 > 0:30:58Can't we break the law?

0:31:00 > 0:31:02- Have you got any idea how much that car's worth?- Mm-hm.

0:31:02 > 0:31:07And that's what would make it so exciting.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10Oh, come on, Ian. Don't you ever want to do something a little bit reckless?

0:31:10 > 0:31:14Break the rules? Go over to the dark side?

0:31:15 > 0:31:17Yeah, you've got a game of golf, love.

0:31:17 > 0:31:22Um, I'm going to make myself a bacon sandwich, all right?

0:31:22 > 0:31:24Make sure you clear up afterwards, yeah?

0:31:24 > 0:31:27And I'm going to eat it all by myself.

0:31:27 > 0:31:31Very, very, very slowly.

0:31:39 > 0:31:40Oi! Clear off!

0:31:45 > 0:31:48Ain't a car like this more hassle than it's worth?

0:31:48 > 0:31:51I can see how it... might pull the birds.

0:31:51 > 0:31:55This car is not about pulling the birds.

0:31:55 > 0:31:58This car is about the engineering. It's about knowing if you're in a tight spot,

0:31:58 > 0:32:02you can put your foot down, 0-60, eight seconds.

0:32:02 > 0:32:04That is what this car is about.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06Right. Nothing to do with showing off?

0:32:08 > 0:32:09I don't need to show off.

0:32:17 > 0:32:20# It's the final countdown... #

0:32:43 > 0:32:45Look who it is!

0:32:45 > 0:32:47It's Daddy!

0:32:48 > 0:32:50Oh, look what he's got!

0:32:53 > 0:32:57Mrs Moon, it says here that Winston Churchill used to love going on holiday to Madeira

0:32:57 > 0:33:00to concentrate on his paintings.

0:33:00 > 0:33:02I heard he was a dab hand at skirting boards.

0:33:02 > 0:33:06Ha-ha! But what I was thinking, right...

0:33:06 > 0:33:08Whooee-whooee! Woof-woof!

0:33:08 > 0:33:11It's a bit, um, it's a bit small, isn't it?

0:33:12 > 0:33:15Never in the field of human crumpet...

0:33:15 > 0:33:18- What?- ..has so much been squeezed

0:33:18 > 0:33:20into so little!

0:33:20 > 0:33:22- THEY LAUGH - Come on, I know you want me!- Stop!

0:33:22 > 0:33:26You want Mr Churchill! Yes, you do!

0:33:26 > 0:33:29Come on, we've got the place to ourselves, haven't we?

0:33:29 > 0:33:32Shenice is at school, little Tommy's out shopping with Jean

0:33:32 > 0:33:37and Mo's probably doing some dodgy deal with Fat Elvis. Come on, it's just me and you!

0:33:37 > 0:33:39# I know you want me I know you want me... #

0:33:39 > 0:33:40PHONE RINGS

0:33:40 > 0:33:44Don't worry about that. Come on, let's go! Get up them stairs!

0:33:51 > 0:33:53Why didn't you tell me you'd had a baby?

0:33:53 > 0:33:56Um, let me think.

0:33:56 > 0:33:58Oh, I remember.

0:33:58 > 0:34:00We just got married and you ran off with a man.

0:34:03 > 0:34:07- She's so peaceful.- Try saying that at 4am when she's woken up for the 15th time.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10- Have you seen the bags under my eyes? - What bags?

0:34:10 > 0:34:12- I look terrible.- You look OK to me.

0:34:12 > 0:34:14I feel like a bag lady.

0:34:16 > 0:34:17What?

0:34:20 > 0:34:21You haven't changed.

0:34:23 > 0:34:26Have you told Christian you're seeing me?

0:34:26 > 0:34:29Seems like you haven't changed much either.

0:34:30 > 0:34:32Ew!

0:34:32 > 0:34:34Is this full fat?

0:34:34 > 0:34:35I asked for a skinny latte.

0:34:35 > 0:34:38Oh!

0:34:40 > 0:34:42What's so funny?

0:34:42 > 0:34:44Nothing.

0:34:45 > 0:34:47It's good to see you.

0:34:49 > 0:34:51It's good to see you, too.

0:34:54 > 0:34:58So, why haven't you told him? Or can I guess?

0:34:59 > 0:35:02- He thinks I'm seeing a solicitor. - What about?

0:35:02 > 0:35:04Access rights.

0:35:04 > 0:35:08- What?- Look, don't freak out, it won't come to that, but...

0:35:08 > 0:35:11- You know, it would be good. - What would?

0:35:11 > 0:35:17If Christian and I could have her to stay. Maybe one afternoon a week.

0:35:17 > 0:35:20Nuh-huh. There is no way I am letting that man anywhere my baby.

0:35:20 > 0:35:23- It's not like she'll come to any harm.- Syed, no!

0:35:24 > 0:35:27Oh, come on, what did you expect?

0:35:27 > 0:35:31I mean, it's not like you can't see her from time to time, like this.

0:35:31 > 0:35:35BABY WAILS Oh! What's wrong? What's wrong?

0:35:35 > 0:35:38- Are you getting hungry? - (Hey. Hey, come here.)

0:35:38 > 0:35:41Would you mind just holding her for a sec while I get some food?

0:35:41 > 0:35:44BABY WAILS

0:35:44 > 0:35:45(Hey!)

0:35:46 > 0:35:48(Come on, Yas.)

0:35:48 > 0:35:50(That's a girl.)

0:35:52 > 0:35:55(Come on, baby.)

0:35:56 > 0:35:59It was a bit like being propositioned by Minnie Mouse.

0:35:59 > 0:36:01Jean came on to you?

0:36:01 > 0:36:05It was a very strange conversation. Left me worried.

0:36:05 > 0:36:09What? That you'd turn around and find you'd accidentally trodden on her?

0:36:10 > 0:36:14So, tell me, what is the Jean Slater seduction technique?

0:36:14 > 0:36:17She skipped that and went straight onto the "why don't we live together?" bit.

0:36:17 > 0:36:19You know she's completely nuts.

0:36:19 > 0:36:23What are you saying? She has to be, wanting to live with me?

0:36:23 > 0:36:26No, really. She's got a condition.

0:36:26 > 0:36:30It's not the condition that's the problem. Let's face it,

0:36:30 > 0:36:31we all have our moments.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33So what, then?

0:36:33 > 0:36:37Well, let me put it this way, Pat - she hasn't got what you've got.

0:36:38 > 0:36:41Norman, are you never going to stop asking?

0:36:41 > 0:36:43- Are you never going to stop saying no?- Norman...

0:36:43 > 0:36:45Remember Frank's first rule of salesmanship?

0:36:45 > 0:36:48"No" is the first step on the road to "yes".

0:36:52 > 0:36:53And finally, Whitney.

0:36:55 > 0:36:59"Like all Sagittarians, you have a tendency to worry too much.

0:36:59 > 0:37:02"As though you're standing on the end of a springboard,

0:37:02 > 0:37:04"frightened to take the plunge.

0:37:04 > 0:37:08"But just for once, put your worries to one side.

0:37:08 > 0:37:11"Come on in. The water's lovely."

0:37:13 > 0:37:18- No need to guess what you two will be up to this afternoon.- Lauren.

0:37:20 > 0:37:22Right. Time to go make some money.

0:37:22 > 0:37:25I'll see you later.

0:37:25 > 0:37:27Yeah, see you later.

0:37:35 > 0:37:38Right, what've I said?

0:37:38 > 0:37:40- Whitney?- I just wish you wouldn't say things like that.

0:37:40 > 0:37:43- Like what?- Just don't, all right.

0:37:43 > 0:37:46You're saying you two haven't...?

0:37:46 > 0:37:48Lauren, I don't want to talk about it, OK.

0:37:48 > 0:37:51Right. Is this cos of the whole...Rob thing?

0:37:51 > 0:37:55Why, when I say I don't want to talk about it, d'you just carry on?

0:37:55 > 0:37:57Hey, hey, ladies. What's with the handbags?

0:37:57 > 0:37:59I've got to go to work.

0:38:03 > 0:38:06Right. Well, she just went for me.

0:38:06 > 0:38:07Why?

0:38:07 > 0:38:10She's hung up on the whole Tyler thing

0:38:10 > 0:38:14- and cos of what happened last spring. - Come on, you know what I mean?

0:38:14 > 0:38:16Tyler's gorgeous. I wouldn't think twice.

0:38:19 > 0:38:22Right. What have I said now?

0:38:27 > 0:38:30Uh... Fats.

0:38:30 > 0:38:33Why do you always go for the ones you can't have?

0:38:36 > 0:38:38# Let's all sing like the birdies sing

0:38:38 > 0:38:40# Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet

0:38:40 > 0:38:43# Let's all sing like the birdies sing

0:38:43 > 0:38:45# Sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet

0:38:45 > 0:38:48# Let's all warble like nightingales

0:38:48 > 0:38:51# Give your throat a treat

0:38:51 > 0:38:54# Take your time from the birds now you all know your words

0:38:54 > 0:38:56# Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet... #

0:38:56 > 0:38:57Am I late?

0:38:57 > 0:39:00No, we just started early. Actually, it's good you're here.

0:39:00 > 0:39:02I think you know Roxy, don't you?

0:39:03 > 0:39:05Vaguely.

0:39:05 > 0:39:09- I think she might be a little bit shy.- Roxy? Shy?

0:39:09 > 0:39:12Could you go and have a word? Try and make her feel a bit more at home?

0:39:12 > 0:39:15Yeah. All right?

0:39:15 > 0:39:18All right. Just been sent over here?

0:39:18 > 0:39:20- No.- No? Looked like it.

0:39:20 > 0:39:23You kind of do look a bit all on your own.

0:39:23 > 0:39:25Ah. It's called "on purpose", Whitney.

0:39:25 > 0:39:29- Come on, join in, it's fun. - Can I ask you a question?

0:39:29 > 0:39:32Do you really want to do this for a living?

0:39:32 > 0:39:35Yeah, that's the plan.

0:39:35 > 0:39:37So you'd be here, like, everyday?

0:39:37 > 0:39:38Yeah. Five days a week.

0:39:38 > 0:39:40- Why?- Cos I like kids.

0:39:41 > 0:39:46Whitney? What's all this about you and Tyler Moon?

0:39:51 > 0:39:53'After 50 years of living together,

0:39:53 > 0:39:57'can you agree on which item will bring the biggest profit?'

0:39:57 > 0:40:00SMOKE ALARMS BEEPS

0:40:01 > 0:40:03Oh! Oh!

0:40:13 > 0:40:15Oh! Come on!

0:40:44 > 0:40:45Jack!

0:40:46 > 0:40:48Come here.

0:40:50 > 0:40:52- What's wrong?- It's the smoke alarm. I can't turn it off.

0:40:58 > 0:41:02Listen, Fats, I'm not doing anything today.

0:41:02 > 0:41:05- So?- So, if you're feeling a bit,

0:41:05 > 0:41:07I dunno, about the whole Whitney thing,

0:41:07 > 0:41:09maybe we could hang out if you like.

0:41:09 > 0:41:11- As friends, I mean.- Friends?

0:41:11 > 0:41:14Better than us both being alone and feeling miserable, isn't it?

0:41:14 > 0:41:18- Hold tight. So what you telling me? You pity me now?- No!

0:41:18 > 0:41:22You know what, Lauren, I got work, yeah. Maybe tomorrow or something.

0:41:22 > 0:41:25- We'll fix something up, then, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah...

0:41:36 > 0:41:38You weren't pushing the button hard enough.

0:41:38 > 0:41:41Really? Not like me.

0:41:42 > 0:41:45Well, I'm a weak and helpless woman

0:41:45 > 0:41:47that just needs a big, strong man to come and rescue me.

0:41:47 > 0:41:49Since when has Ian Beale been big and strong?

0:41:49 > 0:41:52I wasn't talking about Ian. Fancy a coffee?

0:41:55 > 0:41:57SYED MIMICS AEROPLANE DRONE

0:42:01 > 0:42:05Sorry to break up the party, but we really should be heading back.

0:42:05 > 0:42:08Dad'll be wondering where I am.

0:42:08 > 0:42:11How's it been? Living with him?

0:42:11 > 0:42:15Oh. Dad's OK. I could do without the wagging tongues, though.

0:42:15 > 0:42:16Wagging tongues?

0:42:16 > 0:42:18You know, the looks. The whispers.

0:42:18 > 0:42:23"Couldn't keep a husband, poor girl. She turned him gay," you know.

0:42:31 > 0:42:33I can't get over how lovely she is.

0:42:36 > 0:42:39- D'you want me to take a picture? - Yeah.

0:42:42 > 0:42:45Listen, I've been doing some sums, working out how much I can afford.

0:42:45 > 0:42:47- No need. Dad looks after us. - I want to help.

0:42:47 > 0:42:50SHE SIGHS

0:42:50 > 0:42:51What?

0:42:51 > 0:42:54It's just I don't have many friends.

0:42:54 > 0:42:56You know, real friends.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59It's good to have someone to talk to.

0:43:03 > 0:43:05Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture of the three of us?

0:43:05 > 0:43:08- The three of us? - I want to be in it too.

0:43:14 > 0:43:15- Thank you.- Thank you.

0:43:19 > 0:43:21So, are we going to do this again?

0:43:29 > 0:43:30Yeah.

0:43:33 > 0:43:34Only I don't want to lie.

0:43:35 > 0:43:37So I've decided.

0:43:37 > 0:43:39I'm going to tell Christian.

0:43:40 > 0:43:41The minute I get back.

0:43:41 > 0:43:45He won't like it, but it's better he hears now than later on.

0:43:45 > 0:43:49I'm not going to change my mind about him seeing her.

0:43:52 > 0:43:54I'll sort it.

0:43:54 > 0:43:57I've never really been one to join in the club, you know what I mean?

0:43:57 > 0:43:58That's not so uncommon.

0:43:58 > 0:44:02You know that we run a single parents' support group on Wednesdays?

0:44:02 > 0:44:05No, no, no, I don't need a single parents' support group. Cheers.

0:44:05 > 0:44:08Right. What, then?

0:44:08 > 0:44:13It's just when I see all these women and their perfect smiles

0:44:13 > 0:44:15and their perfect children

0:44:15 > 0:44:18and their little birds that go "tweet, tweet, tweet"

0:44:18 > 0:44:21something inside of me just wants to scream.

0:44:21 > 0:44:23Does that make me such a bad person?

0:44:23 > 0:44:25No. I know that being a parent can sometimes be...

0:44:25 > 0:44:29No. It's not your fault. Don't take it personally, OK.

0:44:29 > 0:44:32Don't take it personally, but when I come here

0:44:32 > 0:44:36it is literally like aliens have landed, they've taken over

0:44:36 > 0:44:38and nobody knows about it but me.

0:44:40 > 0:44:42Amy! Shall we get you a big, fat lolly?

0:44:42 > 0:44:45We're going to stick you in front of the telly for the rest of the day.

0:44:53 > 0:44:55Ian Beale is so transparent.

0:44:55 > 0:44:58He gets himself sort of gold-digging bimbo for a girlfriend

0:44:58 > 0:45:01and the next thing, he's got a ridiculous sports car

0:45:01 > 0:45:04- parked outside his house. - You're hardly one to talk.

0:45:04 > 0:45:06Of course, I'm sorry, I'm forgetting.

0:45:06 > 0:45:10You're the loyal, devoted mother and wife these days, aren't you?

0:45:15 > 0:45:18Ah, Mrs Moon, if you'd care to come upstairs,

0:45:18 > 0:45:21where lunch is now being served.

0:45:21 > 0:45:26We have beans a la Moon, poached in their own rich tomato sauce,

0:45:26 > 0:45:30and drizzled over slightly buttered pain grille.

0:45:30 > 0:45:32That's medium toast to you, darling.

0:45:34 > 0:45:35Kat?

0:45:36 > 0:45:38Sorry.

0:45:38 > 0:45:42- What's the matter? I thought we were having a real nice day.- We are.

0:45:45 > 0:45:47I'm just a bit premenstrual.

0:45:47 > 0:45:48I'll be all right in a minute.

0:45:48 > 0:45:54OK. Is there something you're not telling me?

0:45:56 > 0:45:59Just that I love you.

0:45:59 > 0:46:01I don't tell you enough, do I?

0:46:03 > 0:46:05- Come here. - Beans are going to get cold.

0:46:05 > 0:46:06Come here.

0:46:14 > 0:46:16You got the heating on in the bedroom?

0:46:16 > 0:46:19- When I need your advice, I'll ask for it.- Have you tidied the bathroom?

0:46:19 > 0:46:22- Why would I do that?- Do you want her to think you're a total slob?

0:46:22 > 0:46:25- Breathe out.- Why?- Just do it.

0:46:29 > 0:46:32Hmm... Well, er, most important thing.

0:46:32 > 0:46:35Will you stop fussing? It's not like I've not done this before.

0:46:35 > 0:46:37Why you so nervous, then?

0:46:40 > 0:46:41This has got to go right.

0:46:41 > 0:46:43Too many false starts.

0:46:46 > 0:46:47I want it to be perfect.

0:46:47 > 0:46:49Look, just relax, yeah? Be yourself.

0:46:50 > 0:46:54Tell me everything when I get back, all right? Have fun. Enjoy it!

0:47:04 > 0:47:06Fancy another?

0:47:06 > 0:47:08Nah, I better go.

0:47:08 > 0:47:11You're a right barrel of laughs, you, ain't ya?

0:47:11 > 0:47:13Well, I've just been to see my wife. In prison.

0:47:13 > 0:47:16So that might have something to do with it.

0:47:16 > 0:47:17How'd it go?

0:47:17 > 0:47:21Yeah, not too good. Seeing as she wouldn't even see me, so...

0:47:21 > 0:47:26Come on, stay for another. See if I can't find you some biccies.

0:47:26 > 0:47:29Why do you want me here, anyway?

0:47:31 > 0:47:33The look on Ian's face, I guess.

0:47:35 > 0:47:36See you later.

0:47:38 > 0:47:42Listen, I am sorry about your wife. Come here.

0:47:50 > 0:47:52MUSIC BLARES FROM IAN'S CAR

0:47:59 > 0:48:02Do you really think that is the kind of thing to impress a girl?

0:48:02 > 0:48:06Pat, this is about me. OK? It's got nothing to do with Mandy.

0:48:06 > 0:48:08I've wanted one of these for ages.

0:48:08 > 0:48:10What would your mum say if she was still with us?

0:48:10 > 0:48:13I think she'd be proud. She'd be impressed.

0:48:13 > 0:48:14Oh, Ian.

0:48:14 > 0:48:17If it makes me happy, what is wrong with that?

0:48:17 > 0:48:18Pah!

0:48:26 > 0:48:29If you go round, sit behind the wheel, see how it fits, bruv.

0:48:59 > 0:49:01TV SWITCHES ON

0:49:01 > 0:49:03FRONT DOOR OPENS

0:49:03 > 0:49:06Hi, sweetheart. How'd you get on?

0:49:06 > 0:49:12- What was he doing here?- Sorry? - You know what I'm talking about.

0:49:12 > 0:49:14How was golf? Did you win?

0:49:14 > 0:49:16What the hell was he doing here?!

0:49:16 > 0:49:19I'm not going to talk to you if you use that tone of voice with me.

0:49:19 > 0:49:21- I asked you a question! - SWITCHES TV OFF

0:49:21 > 0:49:22Yeah, go on.

0:49:22 > 0:49:24I like it when you get all fierce.

0:49:24 > 0:49:27And if you wasn't such a shrimp, I'd almost find it sexy.

0:49:27 > 0:49:30Well, come on! Say something!

0:49:31 > 0:49:33What is stopping you?!

0:49:45 > 0:49:47All this stuff starts flying out my mouth

0:49:47 > 0:49:50and I'm like, "Did I really just say that?!" I can't go back there!

0:49:50 > 0:49:51I think it's hilarious.

0:49:51 > 0:49:56Please don't, Christian, don't! I'm going to be one of those bad mums that you read about.

0:49:56 > 0:49:59She's going to grow up resenting me, I'm going to resent her back,

0:49:59 > 0:50:03and then when she's pregnant or in borstal, they're going to say it was my fault.

0:50:03 > 0:50:06I tell you what. Instead of going home and getting fed up and bored,

0:50:06 > 0:50:09why don't I take my two favourite ladies for a little bit of fun?

0:50:09 > 0:50:11You are so sweet.

0:50:11 > 0:50:12I know.

0:50:15 > 0:50:16- Cheers.- Hello.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18All right?

0:50:18 > 0:50:19What?

0:50:21 > 0:50:24- You know Ian's taken up with this Mandy?- Yeah. What about it?

0:50:24 > 0:50:27Strange girl, ain't she?

0:50:27 > 0:50:30If the smoke alarm hadn't gone off, he'd have never even been here.

0:50:30 > 0:50:35Why would I even look at another man when you've been so good to me?

0:50:35 > 0:50:37The mess in the kitchen!

0:50:37 > 0:50:39You haven't even told me about the golf.

0:50:39 > 0:50:41I lost on purpose.

0:50:41 > 0:50:43So are they going to invite you back?

0:50:43 > 0:50:48Is Ian going to be a respectable member of the WCCT again?

0:50:48 > 0:50:50Why do you do it, Mandy?

0:50:52 > 0:50:54Is this all deliberate?

0:50:54 > 0:50:57Do you get some sort of weird kick out of winding me up? Is that it?

0:50:59 > 0:51:01I'm just trying to be friendly here.

0:51:01 > 0:51:03If you want to be friends,

0:51:03 > 0:51:06how about clearing that mess up before I get downstairs?

0:51:07 > 0:51:09- Where are you going? - To get changed.

0:51:09 > 0:51:12Not out of your sweater, surely?

0:51:12 > 0:51:15Not when you look so irresistible.

0:51:18 > 0:51:22- You all right?- You all right, Fats? You got the time?

0:51:22 > 0:51:25- Yeah. 1.20pm, bruv. - Fingers crossed, then.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27What's that about?

0:51:27 > 0:51:28My brother and his bird.

0:51:28 > 0:51:31Let's hope he gets it right this time.

0:51:32 > 0:51:33Yeah.

0:51:50 > 0:51:51What you doing?

0:51:53 > 0:51:56Just making it...romantic.

0:51:57 > 0:51:59Oh.

0:51:59 > 0:52:00What sort of music do you like?

0:52:00 > 0:52:02You choose.

0:52:07 > 0:52:10# I want to get with you

0:52:10 > 0:52:14# I see you in the club You showing thugs love

0:52:14 > 0:52:16# I want to get with you... #

0:52:16 > 0:52:19So... "Come on in. The water's lovely."

0:52:23 > 0:52:24You nervous?

0:52:25 > 0:52:27- Yeah.- Me too.

0:52:29 > 0:52:30That's why I bought this.

0:52:33 > 0:52:35No, I'd rather not.

0:52:35 > 0:52:38- Come on, it'll loosen you up. - I don't need loosening up.

0:52:38 > 0:52:40I think you do. I think we both do.

0:52:42 > 0:52:43I'll get a couple of glasses.

0:52:55 > 0:52:57Why do you want to get me bladdered?

0:52:57 > 0:53:00- I never said I did. - Well, what's with the vodka?

0:53:00 > 0:53:03Like I say, just to relax us a bit.

0:53:03 > 0:53:05Come on.

0:53:23 > 0:53:24What have I done?

0:53:25 > 0:53:26It's not you.

0:53:26 > 0:53:29I thought we liked each other. Or have I got that wrong?

0:53:29 > 0:53:31So what's the problem?

0:53:31 > 0:53:33Please don't touch me.

0:53:33 > 0:53:35What am I supposed to have done?

0:53:35 > 0:53:36Is it the music?

0:53:37 > 0:53:39SWITCHES MUSIC OFF

0:53:39 > 0:53:41- Do you want the curtains open? - I need to go home.

0:53:41 > 0:53:43Is it cos you think someone's going to come in?

0:53:43 > 0:53:45- I really don't want to do this any more.- OK, but...

0:53:45 > 0:53:47I can do what I want, all right!

0:53:47 > 0:53:50Would you rather go upstairs?

0:53:50 > 0:53:52No! No.

0:53:54 > 0:53:55Is it cos it reminds ya?

0:53:55 > 0:53:58Sorry? Of what?

0:53:58 > 0:54:01It's not like I'm a punter. I respect you.

0:54:01 > 0:54:03It looks like it.

0:54:03 > 0:54:06I think you're fantastic and if you'd rather do this another time...

0:54:06 > 0:54:10I'm sorry, I don't need to hear this.

0:54:29 > 0:54:32Whitney, please. I didn't mean anything by it.

0:54:32 > 0:54:38Just go away! I don't want to be anywhere near you any more.

0:54:55 > 0:54:58Come on, Uncle Christian. Oh! He did it!

0:54:58 > 0:55:00Uncle Christian's so clever!

0:55:00 > 0:55:03- Look who's home! - All right, Syed, want to join in?

0:55:03 > 0:55:05Yeah, in a minute, maybe.

0:55:05 > 0:55:07So, come on, then.

0:55:07 > 0:55:11- How was the solicitor?- Fine.

0:55:15 > 0:55:18Come on, let's try another one. See if I can do it. Ready?

0:55:25 > 0:55:29For the inspection of my lord and master.

0:55:29 > 0:55:32All right.

0:55:32 > 0:55:33Now get yourself upstairs.

0:55:33 > 0:55:38- You what?- Mandy, it's not like I don't realise what you're up to.

0:55:39 > 0:55:42And what am I up to exactly?

0:55:42 > 0:55:44Get upstairs. Get undressed.

0:55:45 > 0:55:48- What do you think I am? - Mandy, I know what you are.

0:56:00 > 0:56:01Mandy!

0:56:01 > 0:56:07- Mandy. Mandy!- You want to know what I think about your damned car?

0:56:07 > 0:56:09- Oh, wow!- Mandy!

0:56:10 > 0:56:14Everybody! Outside now! You do not want to miss this.

0:56:14 > 0:56:16Mandy, please! Stop it!

0:56:16 > 0:56:17Mandy, no!

0:56:17 > 0:56:20Mandy, please don't do this! This is ridiculous!

0:56:20 > 0:56:22Come on, look, I'm sorry!

0:56:22 > 0:56:24- Get away!- All right, all right.

0:56:24 > 0:56:27- Fabulous.- Mandy, for goodness sake!

0:56:27 > 0:56:29Come on Mandy, please just stop it. No!

0:56:29 > 0:56:35It's not my car. Yeah, I rented it.

0:56:35 > 0:56:37Well, in that case...

0:56:37 > 0:56:39Mandy, come on, don't you think you've done enough?!

0:56:39 > 0:56:41No, Mandy please, no!

0:56:41 > 0:56:43EVERYONE GASPS

0:56:43 > 0:56:48That...that was fantastic.

0:57:01 > 0:57:04- Girls! What are you doing? Come on! - Alfie, you got to watch this.

0:57:04 > 0:57:06- It's so funny.- Kat. We got packing to do. Come on.

0:57:06 > 0:57:07Only take a minute. Watch.

0:57:11 > 0:57:15- Where d'you get this from, then? - Liam sent it to us.

0:57:17 > 0:57:19Wait till you see Ian's face.

0:57:26 > 0:57:29That's brilliant. Right, come on, packing to do.

0:57:29 > 0:57:33Shenice, come on, chop chop. Move. Don't be pulling faces, come on. Run.

0:57:33 > 0:57:34Up the stairs now. Keep going. Go, go, go!

0:57:44 > 0:57:47IAN BEALE VIDEO PLAYS

0:57:47 > 0:57:48Right.

0:57:48 > 0:57:50Did Oscar get off to nursery all right?

0:57:50 > 0:57:54- Yeah. Mum, come have a look at this. - No, I can't, darling.

0:57:54 > 0:57:56- I need you to do me a favour.- Yeah?

0:57:56 > 0:57:58Yeah, I've got a rep coming in today.

0:57:58 > 0:58:03Only Gaynor's away and I just, I don't trust Jodie or Poppy to deal with her.

0:58:03 > 0:58:06- So you want me to?- No, I want you to go over to Roxy's and ask her.

0:58:06 > 0:58:09- Can't you just call her? - No, because...

0:58:09 > 0:58:12she'll just be all snotty with me, Lauren, and I...

0:58:12 > 0:58:15I just can't face it today.

0:58:15 > 0:58:19Oh, Mum...Come here.

0:58:19 > 0:58:22I'm sorry, I dunno what's the matter with me.

0:58:22 > 0:58:24I didn't feel half this bad yesterday.

0:58:24 > 0:58:27- You're bound to have ups and downs, ain't you?- Yeah.

0:58:27 > 0:58:29- CAR HORN - That'll be my taxi.

0:58:31 > 0:58:34I'd give anything not to have to go through this again this morning.

0:58:34 > 0:58:37- Do you want me to come with you?- No. No. You're going to go and see Roxy.

0:58:37 > 0:58:40Where did I put the shopping list?

0:58:41 > 0:58:44- Mum, I'll take care of that. - Really? Are you sure?

0:58:44 > 0:58:46Thank you, darling.

0:58:48 > 0:58:51- Right, I'll see you in a bit. - See you.- Bye.

0:58:58 > 0:59:01How long is she planning on staying, hmmm?

0:59:03 > 0:59:05Shhh... I can't just chuck her out.

0:59:05 > 0:59:07Besides, it'll only be for a day or two.

0:59:07 > 0:59:09A day or two will turn into a week or two,

0:59:09 > 0:59:13then a month or two and before you know it we'll have a lodger living with us full time, rent free.

0:59:13 > 0:59:15A bit like you, really?

0:59:15 > 0:59:18At least I don't prance around in my underwear.

0:59:18 > 0:59:21What am I supposed to do?

0:59:21 > 0:59:25I can't send her back to Ian and it's not like she's got anywhere else to go.

0:59:27 > 0:59:32Listen, take the kids to school. I'll have a word with her, all right?

0:59:32 > 0:59:34Right.

0:59:36 > 0:59:38Kids! Come on, we're off!

0:59:38 > 0:59:42- Why didn't she just ring me? - Please. It'd get her out of a big jam and she'd be really grateful.

0:59:42 > 0:59:46It is amazing how when your mother needs a favour her attitude changes, innit.

0:59:46 > 0:59:50Please. She wouldn't ask if it weren't important.

0:59:50 > 0:59:54OK, I'll tell you what, just take her to playgroup and I'll do it.

0:59:54 > 0:59:59- What?- She won't be a problem. She's got a bunch of snacks in the bag. If she's hungry just give her one.

0:59:59 > 1:00:02- No. I've got a class at half eleven. - It'll be well over by then. It's fine, you've got my number...

1:00:02 > 1:00:09just call me if there's a problem. OK. I'll see you later, I'm gonna go and get changed. Bye!

1:00:16 > 1:00:18Was you there yesterday?

1:00:18 > 1:00:21No, but that's a weird way to pimp your car though.

1:00:21 > 1:00:24Have you seen the video that's been going round? It's so funny.

1:00:24 > 1:00:27Ah sorry. 'Scuse me, babe.

1:00:27 > 1:00:30Kat, sweet, you don't have to tell everybody.

1:00:30 > 1:00:32How would you feel if it was our car, eh?

1:00:32 > 1:00:34This is Ian we're talking about here.

1:00:34 > 1:00:36I know but the bloke's got feelings, all right.

1:00:36 > 1:00:39Go and grab the kids' bags. I'm gonna grab something from the shop. yeah?

1:00:45 > 1:00:50I know it's not much of a date but I was thinking maybe we could hang out together.

1:00:50 > 1:00:53Take her to the swings or something.

1:00:53 > 1:00:56I got work, you know, sweetness.

1:00:56 > 1:00:58But we could hook up at lunchtime in the Vic?

1:00:58 > 1:01:00Yeah?

1:01:00 > 1:01:02What time shall we say? About one?

1:01:02 > 1:01:05Yeah, I guess. See you then, OK.

1:01:10 > 1:01:14BANGING ON DOOR Ian? Oh, there you are.

1:01:14 > 1:01:18I just thought I'd come over and see if you were home before I bomb off on my holidays.

1:01:18 > 1:01:21Are you all right? How's it going?

1:01:22 > 1:01:24I'm as happy as Larry.

1:01:24 > 1:01:28- Whoever Larry was.- Have you... spoken to the car hire people though, yeah?

1:01:30 > 1:01:33- What do you think? - Yeah but you're covered by insurance, though, ain't you?

1:01:35 > 1:01:39- Ian, what you doing? You gotta speak to the car hire people... - I'll phone them when I'm ready, OK?

1:01:41 > 1:01:46- Apparently, it's all over the Internet.- Really?

1:01:50 > 1:01:55I tell you what - why don't I stick the kettle on, have a cup of coffee, yeah? Give me a sec.

1:01:55 > 1:02:00'I know what he'll do. He'll go straight to the police.'

1:02:00 > 1:02:05- I've tried so hard to stay out of trouble.- What were you thinking, Mandy?- That it served him right.

1:02:05 > 1:02:09- How come?- Well, apparently because he's putting me up, I've got to sleep with him...

1:02:09 > 1:02:14- on demand.- Oh, Ian.- Yeah, and he knows I've got nowhere else to go.

1:02:15 > 1:02:21- What about your mum? - What, the woman I haven't spoken to in over 15 years?

1:02:25 > 1:02:28- The thing is, Mandy... - Pat, couldn't you talk to him?

1:02:28 > 1:02:30Y'know, stop him from going to the police?

1:02:30 > 1:02:32Or if has, maybe get him to drop the charges?

1:02:32 > 1:02:37- Well, I don't see how anything I might say would make a difference.- Please?

1:02:39 > 1:02:44Oh, and could you pick up a few of my things while you're there an' all?

1:02:44 > 1:02:48And on top of all that I've lumbered myself going on a date with Fatboy this lunchtime.

1:02:48 > 1:02:50Since when have you been going out with Fatboy?

1:02:50 > 1:02:55I don't know. I felt sorry for him and now I'm stuck with it.

1:02:55 > 1:02:58- Anyway, what about you? - What about me?

1:02:59 > 1:03:03- You and Tyler, yesterday. - Yeah, it was all right.

1:03:03 > 1:03:06All right's a long way from fantastic.

1:03:06 > 1:03:09I don't really want to talk about it.

1:03:09 > 1:03:12Oh, come here, Whit...

1:03:14 > 1:03:18Maybe you could go on a date with Fatboy, then.

1:03:18 > 1:03:24- Why not? You'd be good together. - No! I'm not going out with Fatboy just to sort out your mess.

1:03:28 > 1:03:30Shenice, you seen Alfie?

1:03:30 > 1:03:33- No.- Where is he? We should've left by now.

1:03:34 > 1:03:37Got about two hours' kip last night.

1:03:37 > 1:03:40Just lying there, thinking, imagining. You know.

1:03:40 > 1:03:42All the things I should've said. All the things I should've done.

1:03:42 > 1:03:44it's a good job she didn't stay here last night...

1:03:44 > 1:03:46- Whoa, whoa, whoa...- I'd have ended up on a murder charge.

1:03:46 > 1:03:51- OK, you've got a right to be angry... - I only got the damned car for her.

1:03:51 > 1:03:53Just trying to make her happy.

1:03:53 > 1:03:54What kicked it all off, then?

1:03:56 > 1:04:00Wait till Jane hears about this. She'll laugh her head off.

1:04:00 > 1:04:02No, no. Ian, this time next week it'll all be forgotten, mate.

1:04:05 > 1:04:07Is it me?

1:04:07 > 1:04:12It's not like this is the first time this has happened, is it?

1:04:12 > 1:04:15Well. What do you reckon? Is it me?

1:04:16 > 1:04:20- I dunno, mate.- I tell you what, I'm through with women. All right.

1:04:20 > 1:04:23- I don't need 'em. They're just a damned expense.- I know you feel...

1:04:23 > 1:04:25From now on it's just going to be me and Bobby. Just the two of us.

1:04:25 > 1:04:27And to hell with everyone else...

1:04:31 > 1:04:34What about school?

1:04:34 > 1:04:37It's going to be all round the playground, innit?

1:04:37 > 1:04:39The kid's going to hate me.

1:04:39 > 1:04:40No, no. It'll be all right.

1:04:42 > 1:04:48It IS me, innit?

1:04:48 > 1:04:50- KNOCK ON DOOR - Ian?

1:04:52 > 1:04:53Oh...

1:04:53 > 1:04:56Pat, I'm...

1:04:56 > 1:04:59I'm just talking to Alfie for a bit, all right?

1:05:00 > 1:05:02Yeah. Course.

1:05:02 > 1:05:05I'll come back another time.

1:05:09 > 1:05:12- Listen, Ian...- Alf.

1:05:14 > 1:05:17I don't know what I'd have done without you this morning.

1:05:22 > 1:05:26- Tommy's crying.- In a minute! - Why haven't we left yet?

1:05:26 > 1:05:28Good question.

1:05:29 > 1:05:32CAVALRY CHARGE RINGTONE

1:05:36 > 1:05:38Gawd's sake!

1:05:38 > 1:05:40- Right, come on then, what's the secret?- Secret?

1:05:40 > 1:05:42Yeah, you and Kat. You seem happy.

1:05:42 > 1:05:45- You don't know the half of it. - What? You telling me you're not?

1:05:45 > 1:05:49No. Ian, if our relationship was based on happiness, me and Kat would've split up yonks ago.

1:05:49 > 1:05:50All right, what then?

1:05:50 > 1:05:53I dunno.

1:05:53 > 1:05:54Yeah. Right. It's like yesterday, right.

1:05:54 > 1:05:58Me and Kat, in the pub, having a right giggle and a gurgle. Like it used to be.

1:05:58 > 1:06:01Bit of a laugh, even snuck upstairs for a bit of how's your father.

1:06:01 > 1:06:05- And may I say, the how's your father was very good...- Sounds all right.

1:06:05 > 1:06:08But anyway I come down later to tell her lunch was ready and she started crying.

1:06:08 > 1:06:12What's all that about? She said she was pre-menstrual, which is cobblers -

1:06:12 > 1:06:15she finished her period last week, so that was a lie, wasn't it?

1:06:15 > 1:06:18Did you pick her up on it? What, and have a row with her?

1:06:18 > 1:06:20Trust me, mate, you cannot win a row with Kat Slater.

1:06:20 > 1:06:22I spend half my time tip-toeing around her.

1:06:22 > 1:06:27Technically, unless a woman is actually HAVING her period, she's always premenstrual.

1:06:27 > 1:06:30- Think about it.- Sounds about right.

1:06:30 > 1:06:33Unless she's having an early menopause.

1:06:33 > 1:06:34Nah.

1:06:36 > 1:06:40You've gotta be careful around Kat... She's got...stuff.

1:06:40 > 1:06:45I mean, we've all got stuff, but that girl has got a LOT of stuff.

1:06:47 > 1:06:51You've got the Lynne stuff, the Zoe stuff, the Dad stuff, the Mum stuff...

1:06:51 > 1:06:54you don't wanna go there... she won't even talk about it...

1:06:54 > 1:06:58Uncle Harry stuff... Ronnie stuff, Michael stuff, baby Tommy...

1:06:58 > 1:07:00course, you don't wanna go there either.

1:07:00 > 1:07:02And of course, the miscarriage.

1:07:02 > 1:07:04Which is what?

1:07:04 > 1:07:07That's only top ten. Actually, that's nine.

1:07:08 > 1:07:10Miscarriage?

1:07:12 > 1:07:14Alf, I'm sorry, mate.

1:07:14 > 1:07:18- It's all right. You don't mind if I don't talk about it?- No, it's fine.

1:07:18 > 1:07:21So come on, then, what about the Alfie stuff?

1:07:21 > 1:07:23Oh, yeah, she's got the Alfie stuff going on as well.

1:07:23 > 1:07:26- No, not her... you. Your stuff?- Me?

1:07:26 > 1:07:29I've got the Kat stuff, ain't I? Which is more than enough.

1:07:29 > 1:07:31So how do you do it?

1:07:31 > 1:07:33- How do I do what? - How'd you cope with it all?

1:07:35 > 1:07:36I just...

1:07:36 > 1:07:38I just do, don't I?

1:07:40 > 1:07:44I love her. I love her with all my heart.

1:07:44 > 1:07:46I know it's not rational.

1:07:46 > 1:07:50Thinking about it, no sane person would willingly take on Kat Slater.

1:07:52 > 1:07:56But you knew what she was like before you got together.

1:07:56 > 1:07:58Yeah, yeah, I knew she was trouble.

1:07:58 > 1:08:00You've only got to spend two minutes with Kat to know that.

1:08:00 > 1:08:02But I didn't quite realise how much trouble.

1:08:04 > 1:08:06But I don't regret it, Ian.

1:08:07 > 1:08:14Seriously, I wouldn't change a thing, mate. I must be mad.

1:08:17 > 1:08:23You spend half your life, right, looking for the perfect woman, the person that'll answer all your needs.

1:08:23 > 1:08:26- But you know what?- What?

1:08:26 > 1:08:29That person does not exist. Actually, that's not quite true

1:08:29 > 1:08:32cos that person does exist but it's up here,

1:08:32 > 1:08:34in your imagination.

1:08:36 > 1:08:38What do you find so funny?

1:08:38 > 1:08:43You are talking to a man who's been married four times.

1:08:43 > 1:08:46- Yeah, I know. - And I'm still looking.

1:08:47 > 1:08:50I think we're both mad.

1:08:52 > 1:08:57- So you don't know if he's phoned the police or not?- He was practically crying. What was I supposed to do?

1:08:57 > 1:08:59What, Ian? Crying?

1:09:01 > 1:09:07This may come as a surprise to you, Mandy, but Ian's got a sensitive side. He always did have.

1:09:07 > 1:09:11He'll drive you nuts with all that selfishness and stupidity, and then

1:09:11 > 1:09:17he'll turn round suddenly and do something really kind and thoughtful when you least expect it.

1:09:17 > 1:09:19D'you remember Ethel?

1:09:19 > 1:09:23Yeah. What about her?

1:09:23 > 1:09:26When she died, she didn't have two pennies to rub together.

1:09:26 > 1:09:29Ian paid for the funeral. Big do. Must have cost him thousands.

1:09:29 > 1:09:32He didn't even blink.

1:09:32 > 1:09:35I could tell you a dozen stories like that.

1:09:37 > 1:09:39Did you pick up my things?

1:09:40 > 1:09:44No, Mandy, I did not pick up your things. Like I said, it wasn't the right moment.

1:09:44 > 1:09:47All right, I feel bad now.

1:09:47 > 1:09:52Not half as bad as him, I don't suppose.

1:09:52 > 1:09:54I shouldn't've done it, should I?

1:09:54 > 1:09:57Smashing up his car. I mean, why did I?

1:09:59 > 1:10:00You tell me.

1:10:03 > 1:10:10The thing is, Pat, when I meet a bloke and he's all keen,

1:10:10 > 1:10:13I just end up thinking,

1:10:13 > 1:10:19"Who is this idiot? What is he after?" It doesn't occur to me that he might actually like me.

1:10:21 > 1:10:23I mean, who would?

1:10:23 > 1:10:25But that's you, innit?

1:10:26 > 1:10:29Do you think he does? Like me, I mean?

1:10:31 > 1:10:33All Ian wants is to be loved.

1:10:33 > 1:10:36That's the beginning and the end of it.

1:10:37 > 1:10:39What's happened to the milk?

1:10:39 > 1:10:45- Oh,...I'll go get some more. - You're not even dressed yet.

1:10:45 > 1:10:48- I can't wait.- Pat?- Yeah?

1:10:49 > 1:10:50What do you think I should do?

1:10:50 > 1:10:52I don't know, Mandy.

1:10:52 > 1:10:54What do YOU think you should do?

1:10:59 > 1:11:01'I thought she'd be grateful.'

1:11:01 > 1:11:03Roof over her head.

1:11:03 > 1:11:05Central heating. Three meals a day.

1:11:05 > 1:11:07And she wouldn't have to work at that club any more.

1:11:07 > 1:11:10This place's got to be better than where she was.

1:11:10 > 1:11:12Only she weren't.

1:11:12 > 1:11:14Grateful, I mean.

1:11:14 > 1:11:18So, I thought, right, I know what I'll do, I'll try and impress her.

1:11:18 > 1:11:24So I start taking her places, buying her things. That is the reason why I got that car.

1:11:27 > 1:11:31But the more I tried, the less grateful she was.

1:11:31 > 1:11:36It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't like her so much.

1:11:38 > 1:11:40She makes me smile.

1:11:42 > 1:11:46Maybe it's not things she needs.

1:11:46 > 1:11:48Thank you.

1:11:55 > 1:11:59Oi! Don't ignore me like I don't exist or something.

1:12:06 > 1:12:08Whitney?

1:12:10 > 1:12:13Keep an eye on the stall, will you, darlin'?

1:12:15 > 1:12:17Oh. Who are you?

1:12:17 > 1:12:19Pat's putting me up for a bit.

1:12:19 > 1:12:22- Is she around?- Just popped out to get a pint of milk.

1:12:22 > 1:12:24In that case, is it all right if I wait?

1:12:27 > 1:12:30I thought yesterday,

1:12:30 > 1:12:35if I could switch my life off like you switch off a light, I probably would.

1:12:35 > 1:12:38- Is this to do with Tyler? - No. It's not just his fault.

1:12:38 > 1:12:40- Everyone thinks it.- Thinks what?

1:12:44 > 1:12:46Did he say something?

1:12:47 > 1:12:49And you don't want to?

1:12:51 > 1:12:56I can probably guess, darlin'. The thing is, I been where you are now.

1:12:56 > 1:12:59Nobody's ever going to want me again. Yeah?

1:13:01 > 1:13:04And then I met Roy.

1:13:04 > 1:13:08All I'm saying is they do exist.

1:13:08 > 1:13:10So where do I find my Roy?

1:13:21 > 1:13:24Don't s'pose either of you two have seen Alfie, have you?

1:13:24 > 1:13:27- He's at Ian's. Well, he was half hour ago. - I'm going to skin him alive.

1:13:27 > 1:13:32- Listen, Ian... - Yeah, I know, you've gotta go.

1:13:32 > 1:13:36- Yeah but I hate leaving you when you're like this though, mate. - I'll be all right.

1:13:36 > 1:13:38Not like I haven't been here before. I'll cope.

1:13:38 > 1:13:42- BANGING ON DOOR - Alfie, are you in there? - I'm in here, sweetheart.

1:13:44 > 1:13:46- We should be halfway to Luton by now.- I should've called you.

1:13:46 > 1:13:51Kat, don't blame him, OK? It was my fault.

1:13:51 > 1:13:54- I'll get the kids. I'll be waiting in the car.- Kat...

1:13:54 > 1:13:56Don't be cross with him.

1:14:04 > 1:14:09- Listen, you're not going to sit here and brood, are you? - No, I've got plenty to do.

1:14:09 > 1:14:13- Brilliant. That's the spirit, mate. You keep busy, all right?- And you

1:14:13 > 1:14:17have a good holiday, all right. And keep working at it. Never give up.

1:14:20 > 1:14:23- See you, mate.- See you, bud. - Take care. See you later.

1:14:34 > 1:14:37"BARGAIN HUNT" ON TV

1:14:42 > 1:14:44Gone to milk the cow, has she?

1:14:49 > 1:14:52So, Mandy, what do you do for a living?

1:14:54 > 1:14:56I take my clothes off.

1:14:56 > 1:14:57For men a little bit like you.

1:14:59 > 1:15:03Oh... That's different.

1:15:04 > 1:15:08Only now I'm going to go and put some on. Sorry.

1:15:16 > 1:15:19Kat, what was I supposed to do, eh? The bloke was on the floor.

1:15:19 > 1:15:23- I should've known you were probably doing something kind.- It wasn't about kindness, it was more...

1:15:23 > 1:15:24Come here...

1:15:26 > 1:15:28What's all that about?

1:15:28 > 1:15:31What have I done to deserve you, eh?

1:15:31 > 1:15:35I love you. Come on. Let's go on holiday! Chop chop!

1:15:47 > 1:15:49PHONE

1:15:49 > 1:15:51Mandy!

1:15:51 > 1:15:54Mandy, phone! Mandy?

1:15:55 > 1:15:58Hello?

1:15:58 > 1:16:00No, no, she's not here at the moment.

1:16:00 > 1:16:03She should be back any minute.

1:16:03 > 1:16:05No, I-I'm just a friend. FRONT DOOR CLOSES

1:16:05 > 1:16:07Hang on, I think she's...Pat?

1:16:07 > 1:16:13- What you doing here?- Sorry... false alarm... Yeah, I can take a message.

1:16:14 > 1:16:18Oh, right. Right, yeah, I'll pass that on.

1:16:18 > 1:16:22- Bye now.- Who's that?- It was for Pat. Should be back any minute apparently.

1:16:22 > 1:16:28- Right. So has Mandy gone, then? - No, she's upstairs, getting dressed.

1:16:28 > 1:16:30Oh, is she now?

1:16:30 > 1:16:33Mandy? Mandy?!

1:16:33 > 1:16:34Yeah?

1:16:34 > 1:16:38Can I have a word with you, please? Has Pat spoken to you yet?

1:16:38 > 1:16:43- What do you mean?- So she hasn't, then?- I don't understand.

1:16:43 > 1:16:47Right, well, I'm afraid you're going to have to go, Mandy, cos there's not enough room here.

1:16:47 > 1:16:53I know it's tough, but that is life and Pat and I, we discussed this earlier so it's not just me.

1:17:14 > 1:17:15FRONT DOOR CLOSES

1:17:15 > 1:17:18Mum? How was it?

1:17:20 > 1:17:24- What's she doing here?- Roxy's just dumped her on me, basically.

1:17:24 > 1:17:28- I thought you had a class. - Yeah, I did.

1:17:28 > 1:17:32- So where's Roxy, then? - Still at the salon.

1:17:32 > 1:17:36- Did the rep not come?- Yeah, but she said she was needed at the desk.

1:17:36 > 1:17:39She said she'd pick her up by lunchtime but it's lunchtime now.

1:17:39 > 1:17:44- Yeah but that's not fair on you, is it?- Come and sit down and tell me how you're feeling.

1:17:48 > 1:17:53Tired. I was falling asleep in the car on the way back.

1:17:55 > 1:17:59- Did you get the shopping? - Yep, and it's all put away.

1:17:59 > 1:18:01Thank you, darling.

1:18:02 > 1:18:05I feel so sick.

1:18:07 > 1:18:11Right, so do you want me to cook dinner tonight, then?

1:18:11 > 1:18:15- Could you?- Yeah, course.

1:18:15 > 1:18:19Listen, I'm meant to be meeting someone at the pub for lunch.

1:18:19 > 1:18:22Oh, right. You go. I'll look after her.

1:18:22 > 1:18:24I've got a few minutes.

1:18:27 > 1:18:33Oh, darling, I am grateful. You know that, don't you?

1:18:33 > 1:18:35Don't know how I'd cope without you.

1:18:37 > 1:18:38It's OK, Mum.

1:18:53 > 1:18:55KNOCK ON DOOR

1:18:55 > 1:18:57Hello?

1:19:03 > 1:19:04What do you want?

1:19:08 > 1:19:13- Got a vase?- Under the sink.

1:19:22 > 1:19:24So where's Tyler now?

1:19:24 > 1:19:27Oh, he's probably in the Vic. That's where he is most lunchtimes.

1:19:27 > 1:19:30- You know what I'd do if I was you? - No, I can't, Pat.

1:19:30 > 1:19:34So what are you going to do? Avoid him for the rest of your life? Listen.

1:19:34 > 1:19:37- Do you like him? - I thought I did, yeah.

1:19:37 > 1:19:40So sort it out. Doesn't have to end in a fight.

1:19:40 > 1:19:43And you'll feel much better afterwards, believe me.

1:19:43 > 1:19:46So what do I actually say?

1:19:46 > 1:19:48You say,

1:19:48 > 1:19:52"What happened to me happened. There's nothing I can do to change that.

1:19:52 > 1:19:55"It's only a problem if you choose to make it a problem."

1:19:55 > 1:19:57Can I write that down?

1:19:57 > 1:20:00Just do it, girl!

1:20:07 > 1:20:11- All right?- Not really, bruv.

1:20:11 > 1:20:15- Why's that then?- Nothing...

1:20:15 > 1:20:18I just gotta make a quick phone call, all right.

1:20:18 > 1:20:21- You OK for a drink? - Yeah, yeah, I'm cool, thanks.

1:20:25 > 1:20:28PHONE VIBRATES

1:20:44 > 1:20:47One minute they're all up for it. Next minute they're not.

1:20:47 > 1:20:49And somehow we're supposed to know. We ain't mind readers, are we?

1:20:49 > 1:20:52Hold tight, are we talking about Whitney now?

1:20:52 > 1:20:55All that stuff she's gone through has basically done her head in.

1:20:55 > 1:20:59Not so much a boyfriend she needs as a shrink.

1:21:00 > 1:21:04- I beg your pardon?- Wotcha.

1:21:04 > 1:21:07- Fancy a drink? - I asked you a question.

1:21:07 > 1:21:09It's not what it sounded like.

1:21:09 > 1:21:12I came in here to say one thing...

1:21:13 > 1:21:16I don't give a damn what you think of me.

1:21:16 > 1:21:17I don't need your approval...

1:21:17 > 1:21:20I don't need anyone's approval. And if you don't like it, then tough.

1:21:24 > 1:21:27And what are you staring at?

1:21:27 > 1:21:29That's what I'm dealing with.

1:21:32 > 1:21:34Where are you going?

1:21:35 > 1:21:37- Whit!- Leave me alone.

1:21:37 > 1:21:39Whitney! Come here, babe.

1:21:39 > 1:21:42- Come here.- No!- It's all right.

1:21:42 > 1:21:44This is me.

1:22:09 > 1:22:11'You did what?'

1:22:11 > 1:22:13She was never going to leave on her own.

1:22:13 > 1:22:16I was in the middle of dealing with it. You had no right!

1:22:16 > 1:22:18Is he moving in too?

1:22:18 > 1:22:19Sorry?

1:22:20 > 1:22:22Never mind.

1:22:24 > 1:22:27Come in, Norman. Sorry about this. It's one of them days.

1:22:27 > 1:22:29I wanted to take you out for lunch.

1:22:29 > 1:22:32Not today, if you don't mind. My head's not in the right place.

1:22:32 > 1:22:34- Tomorrow?- Maybe.

1:22:34 > 1:22:36You had a phone call, about ten minutes ago.

1:22:36 > 1:22:39Your son, Simon, in New Zealand.

1:22:39 > 1:22:43- What did he want?- Didn't say. Wanted you to call him straight back.

1:22:43 > 1:22:45Straight back?

1:22:45 > 1:22:48Is it likely to be a problem?

1:22:48 > 1:22:52Yeah. It's the middle of the night, there must be a problem.

1:22:56 > 1:22:58Si? It's Mum.

1:22:58 > 1:23:00What's happened?

1:23:02 > 1:23:04- No...!- Pat?

1:23:04 > 1:23:06Oh, my God...

1:23:07 > 1:23:10So... you haven't been to the police then?

1:23:10 > 1:23:13Maybe to get myself locked up but that's about it.

1:23:16 > 1:23:20Look, I'm not staying. I just came to get some stuff.

1:23:20 > 1:23:23Hold on, where are you gonna go?

1:23:23 > 1:23:26- I'll be all right.- Will you?

1:23:28 > 1:23:31You know me.

1:23:31 > 1:23:33I don't actually think I do.

1:23:33 > 1:23:36- Oh, Ian...- I don't think I know anything any more. I mean,

1:23:36 > 1:23:38I'm not what people think I am, OK.

1:23:38 > 1:23:43I'm not rich, I'm not successful, I'm not a leading local businessman.

1:23:43 > 1:23:46I'm just a fraud.

1:23:46 > 1:23:50- You're a nice guy. You are. - Yeah, right. You've changed your tune, haven't you?

1:23:52 > 1:23:55Pat said a lot of nice things about you.

1:23:55 > 1:23:58- Things I would not have guessed. - Really?

1:24:00 > 1:24:03She said that you can be really kind

1:24:03 > 1:24:06and that deep down you just want to be loved.

1:24:08 > 1:24:10I'm like that too.

1:24:13 > 1:24:16I guess that's all any of us really want, isn't it?

1:24:16 > 1:24:22Only I'm not a very nice guy, so is it any wonder?

1:24:22 > 1:24:25You ARE a nice guy.

1:24:25 > 1:24:28With or without a flash car.

1:24:32 > 1:24:35What you saying?

1:24:35 > 1:24:38Are you saying we can try again?

1:24:38 > 1:24:40Yeah?

1:24:41 > 1:24:44Only properly this time.

1:24:44 > 1:24:46What do you mean?

1:24:49 > 1:24:51Let's get married.

1:24:56 > 1:24:59Um, yeah. So if you could pick him up?

1:25:01 > 1:25:02No?

1:25:03 > 1:25:06OK, yeah. Well, I'll drop him off, then.

1:25:06 > 1:25:08OK. Thank you, Auntie Carol.

1:25:10 > 1:25:13Oh, why is there never anything in here any more? I'm starving!

1:25:13 > 1:25:15COUGHING

1:25:15 > 1:25:18- What was that?- Nothing...

1:25:18 > 1:25:20Well, it sounded like Mum chucking up.

1:25:20 > 1:25:22PHONE RINGS Whit?

1:25:22 > 1:25:24- Lauren, what do I do?- 'About what?'

1:25:24 > 1:25:28- Fats, he's out looking for me. - 'And where are you?'

1:25:28 > 1:25:29Hiding.

1:25:29 > 1:25:31- Why?- 'I don't know,'

1:25:31 > 1:25:35it was the first thing I thought of doing. Lauren, we kissed, right?

1:25:35 > 1:25:37'Me and Fats! What does that even mean?'

1:25:37 > 1:25:39It means that you like him!

1:25:41 > 1:25:43Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

1:25:43 > 1:25:45Oh, you idiot!

1:25:45 > 1:25:49- What?- No, sorry, not you, Whitney. Look, I've got to go. Good luck.

1:26:00 > 1:26:03- What're you doing? - I'm just off to the salon, darling.

1:26:03 > 1:26:04Mum, we heard you being sick.

1:26:04 > 1:26:07It was nothing. It was just a wave. I'm fine now.

1:26:07 > 1:26:10Mum, please, look, you're exhausted.

1:26:10 > 1:26:12Will you stop telling me how I'm feeling!

1:26:12 > 1:26:14Sorry, I'm sorry.

1:26:14 > 1:26:19It's just that I can't seem to relax, you know? I think it would be best if I just kept busy.

1:26:19 > 1:26:21Right, you've got Oscar all sorted, haven't you?

1:26:21 > 1:26:24And well, besides, I feel much better today.

1:26:24 > 1:26:26Yeah, you don't look it.

1:26:27 > 1:26:30Please, will you just stop fussing over me every five minutes?

1:26:33 > 1:26:35I'm YOUR mum, remember?

1:26:36 > 1:26:38I'll see you later.

1:26:44 > 1:26:46DOOR SLAMS

1:27:03 > 1:27:04It ain't a Ferrari,

1:27:04 > 1:27:08but if it's reliability you're after, then this is your motor, bruv.

1:27:08 > 1:27:10Um... Give me one minute. Have a look.

1:27:13 > 1:27:16Hey, I was looking for you.

1:27:17 > 1:27:21Look, um... Can you take a lunch break?

1:27:21 > 1:27:22Yeah.

1:27:22 > 1:27:23Yeah, sure.

1:27:23 > 1:27:25- Yeah?- Yeah.

1:27:32 > 1:27:33What?

1:27:35 > 1:27:36Nothing.

1:27:36 > 1:27:38SHE GIGGLES

1:27:40 > 1:27:43Give us a bag of chips, will you? I'm starving.

1:27:43 > 1:27:45- I skipped breakfast. - There's a queue, love.

1:27:47 > 1:27:50D'you realise who you're talking to? Tell him, Ian.

1:27:50 > 1:27:53Mandy, I'm a bit busy at the moment.

1:27:53 > 1:27:55- He proposed last night.- Mandy!

1:27:56 > 1:27:59Oh, I'm sorry, have I embarrassed you?

1:27:59 > 1:28:02No, it's... Look, I'm at work.

1:28:04 > 1:28:06Fine.

1:28:06 > 1:28:08- Oh, the answer's no, by the way. - What?!

1:28:08 > 1:28:10No, I won't marry you.

1:28:10 > 1:28:13- Yeah, but you said yes. - No, I didn't.

1:28:13 > 1:28:15Yeah, you did.

1:28:15 > 1:28:19So, you remember the word "yes" coming out of my mouth, do you?

1:28:19 > 1:28:20Hmm.

1:28:22 > 1:28:25- Ian! Should I serve myself? - I'll be back in a minute.

1:28:25 > 1:28:28- Mandy, wait, wait, wait. - You didn't even do it properly.

1:28:28 > 1:28:29How do you mean?

1:28:29 > 1:28:33Well, I don't see a ring on my finger, do you?

1:28:33 > 1:28:35Now, if you want me to be your wife, Ian,

1:28:35 > 1:28:37you're going to have to prove it.

1:28:44 > 1:28:46All right, fellas?

1:28:52 > 1:28:56- Oh!- Hey, you all right?- No, my leg.

1:28:57 > 1:28:59I know that mood, bruv.

1:28:59 > 1:29:02Look, don't get me wrong, I'm with you all the way on this,

1:29:02 > 1:29:04but Fats is not as tidy as you, is he?

1:29:04 > 1:29:07I mean, do you really want to end up in front of a judge over a girl?

1:29:07 > 1:29:11Look, don't worry about it, Pops, it's not the end of the world, we'll find somewhere else.

1:29:11 > 1:29:15Yeah, but where will we find a chocolate fountain at such short notice?

1:29:15 > 1:29:16All right ladies? What's up?

1:29:16 > 1:29:19It's Poppy's 21st today.

1:29:19 > 1:29:23She had this room booked for a party at this well exclusive club, right,

1:29:23 > 1:29:27frequented by the creme de la creme of reality stars, football players, you name it...

1:29:27 > 1:29:30Then some trumped-up daddy's girl goes and pays triple,

1:29:30 > 1:29:32so she's having her 18th there,

1:29:32 > 1:29:36which means I'm left without so much as a Big Brother reject.

1:29:36 > 1:29:39Girls, I think I might just be your knight in shining armour.

1:29:39 > 1:29:41Why? Do you know anyone famous?

1:29:41 > 1:29:45No. Well, not exactly. But who needs celebrities when you got our gaffe?

1:29:45 > 1:29:47Moon parties are legendary, right, Ant?

1:29:47 > 1:29:49Yeah. Legendary!

1:29:49 > 1:29:52- Can I have a chocolate fountain? - It's your party, babe.

1:29:52 > 1:29:55You can have a chocolate unicorn if you want.

1:29:55 > 1:29:56Are you serious about this?

1:29:57 > 1:29:59Best idea I've had all week.

1:29:59 > 1:30:02- Great timing. - Sit yourself down, mate.

1:30:02 > 1:30:04Ben's just pulled a muscle.

1:30:04 > 1:30:07- I said I'd take him through some warm-up exercises. - I just bought lunch.

1:30:07 > 1:30:10Thought we were meant to be cutting back on expenses.

1:30:10 > 1:30:13- You know, with the solicitor's fees.- Oh. Sorry, forgot.

1:30:13 > 1:30:17- Well, a couple of quid won't matter, will it?- Smells good.

1:30:17 > 1:30:20- I'm sure there's enough for everyone, ain't there, Sy?- 'Course.

1:30:24 > 1:30:27- Gaynor. Gaynor, could you do this for me, please?- Yeah, sure.

1:30:27 > 1:30:29- Thank you. Sorry.- How you doing?- Hi.

1:30:32 > 1:30:34DOOR OPENS

1:30:40 > 1:30:42Greg!

1:30:44 > 1:30:47- What are you...- I wanted to see you.

1:30:47 > 1:30:49Really?

1:30:49 > 1:30:51How are you?

1:30:53 > 1:30:56I'm sorry, sorry...

1:30:56 > 1:30:59I'm fine. This is just a bit of a shock.

1:31:01 > 1:31:03It's really good to see you.

1:31:05 > 1:31:07It's good to see you, too.

1:31:07 > 1:31:11We'll move the sofa into the yard, make way for a serious mosh pit.

1:31:11 > 1:31:15- Dance area?- Yeah, yeah. - I can bring those fairy lights from round my mirror...

1:31:15 > 1:31:18The pink ones? Oh, they are lovely.

1:31:18 > 1:31:21What about some music? We'll need some tunes, you know,

1:31:21 > 1:31:24- like a DJ or something to like lay them down?- Fats...

1:31:25 > 1:31:28- ..you're known to spin the odd disc, right?- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:31:28 > 1:31:32Party tonight, round ours. You're both invited.

1:31:32 > 1:31:34So, are you two like a couple, then, or...?

1:31:34 > 1:31:36Yeah, yeah. This is my boyfriend.

1:31:36 > 1:31:38Well, good luck to you.

1:31:38 > 1:31:40- What does that mean?- Nothing.

1:31:40 > 1:31:44- Ah, well, I think it's well sweet. - Yeah, you guys are adorable.

1:31:44 > 1:31:47Anyway, party tonight round ours. You coming or not?

1:31:47 > 1:31:50Or are you one of them boring couples that sits in watching DVDs?

1:31:50 > 1:31:56- No. We'll come. Won't we, Fats? - Yeah, yeah, why not?- Great. Great.

1:31:56 > 1:31:59All right, well we're going to grab a drink, all right?

1:31:59 > 1:32:00Bye.

1:32:04 > 1:32:08So, do you really want to be my lady, then?

1:32:08 > 1:32:09Yeah.

1:32:12 > 1:32:16Wow. Hoorah! Um...

1:32:16 > 1:32:20- Is that you off?- Yeah. See you later. Quiet one tonight, yeah?

1:32:20 > 1:32:22You fancy a cup of tea, Ben?

1:32:22 > 1:32:23DOOR CLOSES

1:32:25 > 1:32:26What's your favourite film?

1:32:26 > 1:32:31Oh, I don't know. There're so many.

1:32:31 > 1:32:32I guess...

1:32:32 > 1:32:35Well, when I was your age, Stand By Me.

1:32:35 > 1:32:37What's it about?

1:32:37 > 1:32:41Well, it's about this kid who feels trapped by his family.

1:32:41 > 1:32:46Dad's a criminal waster and everyone thinks he's going to turn out the same way.

1:32:46 > 1:32:50I guess at the time, I could relate to that. What's yours?

1:32:52 > 1:32:57Don't really watch films at my house. Just sport and video games.

1:32:59 > 1:33:00Dad reckons it's a waste of time.

1:33:00 > 1:33:03I tell you what, why don't you borrow one of mine?

1:33:05 > 1:33:08Mind you, I think Jane took my copy of Stand By Me and never returned it.

1:33:08 > 1:33:11- Sisters, eh?- Thanks.

1:33:11 > 1:33:13So, you're, like, together?

1:33:13 > 1:33:16I know it's a bit quick, but it just feels right, somehow.

1:33:16 > 1:33:20And we've been mates for a while and I don't want to muck it up.

1:33:20 > 1:33:22Yeah? Then don't.

1:33:22 > 1:33:25Oh. How straightforward everything is in Lauren's world(!)

1:33:25 > 1:33:28Listen, are you going to come to this party with me later?

1:33:28 > 1:33:32I need a mate there, with Tyler thinking he's all man.

1:33:32 > 1:33:34Yeah.

1:33:34 > 1:33:36- Cool.- Whit?

1:33:37 > 1:33:39I'm really happy for you.

1:33:48 > 1:33:51Right, so d'you want a cup of tea, or maybe some coffee or something?

1:33:51 > 1:33:53No, I'm fine, actually.

1:33:53 > 1:33:55Max not around?

1:33:55 > 1:33:58- No, I haven't seen him since. - I don't know why I asked.

1:34:00 > 1:34:02You look tired, Tan.

1:34:02 > 1:34:05Yeah, it's hard work, innit, being a single mum.

1:34:06 > 1:34:08Sorry.

1:34:08 > 1:34:10Didn't mean to sound self-pitying.

1:34:10 > 1:34:12Obviously, I realise it's all my fault...

1:34:12 > 1:34:13Lauren called me.

1:34:14 > 1:34:16You spoke to her?

1:34:16 > 1:34:18Yeah, she...

1:34:18 > 1:34:20she was really worried about you.

1:34:22 > 1:34:23Right.

1:34:25 > 1:34:27So, this is some sort of mercy mission, is it?

1:34:27 > 1:34:30- What?- I can't believe she told you.

1:34:30 > 1:34:33It's not a crime to be lonely, is it? I've missed you too.

1:34:36 > 1:34:38Unless there's something else?

1:34:40 > 1:34:41Tan?

1:34:43 > 1:34:44Go on.

1:34:50 > 1:34:51I've not been very well, Greg.

1:34:51 > 1:34:54Yeah, well it's been going around, hasn't it?

1:34:55 > 1:34:57It's worse than that.

1:34:57 > 1:34:59What? Like cancer or something?

1:35:06 > 1:35:10Right, that's it. I'm not asking again.

1:35:10 > 1:35:12- 'Scuse me?- Cos I'm sick of it.

1:35:12 > 1:35:15I'm sick of being treated like some stray dog

1:35:15 > 1:35:17you stroke one day and kick the next.

1:35:17 > 1:35:22Oh, grow up, will you? I've got more important things to worry about than your teenage ego.

1:35:22 > 1:35:25Life ain't just holding hands and kissing behind bike sheds,

1:35:25 > 1:35:29some of us actually have real problems...

1:35:29 > 1:35:30Oh.

1:35:30 > 1:35:31Pat?

1:35:32 > 1:35:34- Pat?- Mm.

1:35:34 > 1:35:36Pat, Pat, what is it?

1:35:36 > 1:35:40So are you...? What, you having chemotherapy?

1:35:40 > 1:35:45Yeah, on Mondays. And then radiotherapy on weekdays.

1:35:45 > 1:35:47I'm a bigger junkie than Rainie at the moment.

1:35:49 > 1:35:53It's all right. I am still the same person.

1:35:53 > 1:35:55I haven't had a complete sense-of-humour bypass.

1:35:55 > 1:35:58How long?

1:35:58 > 1:36:00I mean...

1:36:00 > 1:36:01- will you...?- Die?

1:36:01 > 1:36:04- No. I didn't mean... - Don't know. There's always a chance.

1:36:04 > 1:36:08They don't really go into all that, it's...

1:36:08 > 1:36:11I haven't actually asked them.

1:36:11 > 1:36:14I suppose the treatment's more focused on...

1:36:14 > 1:36:18- checking whether it's spread, scans and things.- Aren't you scared?

1:36:22 > 1:36:24I'm terrified.

1:36:29 > 1:36:31But, you know, some days are bearable.

1:36:31 > 1:36:34The other week I met this woman, Siobhan,

1:36:34 > 1:36:37and we just had... Well, we just had a right old giggle

1:36:37 > 1:36:40for literally 20 minutes, I forgot all about it.

1:36:41 > 1:36:45A bit of a bummer when I remembered, but you've got to take the ups when you can.

1:36:45 > 1:36:51Sorry, I'm really going on, aren't I? It's just that it's...

1:36:51 > 1:36:53SHE SIGHS

1:36:53 > 1:36:56It's bizarre, talking to someone I know about it.

1:36:58 > 1:37:00It's a relief, actually.

1:37:02 > 1:37:05Normally, it's me and Lauren, and she's just...

1:37:05 > 1:37:07Oh, she has been amazing, but I do worry that...

1:37:07 > 1:37:10that I'm burdening her, you know?

1:37:14 > 1:37:16You all right? You look a bit pale.

1:37:16 > 1:37:19Yeah, yeah, fine. Just...

1:37:19 > 1:37:21I just remembered my car's on a meter.

1:37:22 > 1:37:23I see.

1:37:23 > 1:37:26No, honestly. I'll come back, I just need to...

1:37:26 > 1:37:27Yeah, yeah, it's all right.

1:37:27 > 1:37:29You don't have to explain, I understand.

1:37:29 > 1:37:32- It's a lot to get your head round, innit?- Yeah.

1:37:33 > 1:37:34Yeah.

1:37:37 > 1:37:41I mean, I can understand you feeling funny cos...

1:37:41 > 1:37:43it's big, right?

1:37:44 > 1:37:47There's you thinking you were going to come round here and, what?

1:37:47 > 1:37:50Didn't realise you'd be talking to a sick woman, did you?

1:37:50 > 1:37:51It's probably a bit creepy.

1:37:55 > 1:37:57Right, well you better go then, Greg,

1:37:57 > 1:38:00before I get really morbid, start talking about things like death,

1:38:00 > 1:38:02or worse still, expecting YOU to.

1:38:02 > 1:38:06- Listen, it's obviously not helping me...- Bye, Greg.

1:38:25 > 1:38:26Greg?

1:38:27 > 1:38:30What happened? Did she tell you?

1:38:32 > 1:38:34She pushed you away, didn't she?

1:38:34 > 1:38:38I was scared she'd do that. She didn't mean it.

1:38:38 > 1:38:42She has these mood swings and she lashes out, but it's only cos she's frightened.

1:38:42 > 1:38:45You've just got to keep trying, Greg.

1:38:47 > 1:38:48What is it?

1:38:48 > 1:38:50Sorry, Lauren, I don't think I can do this right now.

1:38:50 > 1:38:52What?

1:38:52 > 1:38:54It's all just too much.

1:38:55 > 1:38:59I'm really sorry... I just... I can't.

1:39:02 > 1:39:04- You mean, you're scared?- Yeah.

1:39:05 > 1:39:09Oh, right, well, join the club, Greg. Cos imagine how Mum feels!

1:39:09 > 1:39:13Imagine what's going through her head right now!

1:39:13 > 1:39:16I feel it, too.

1:39:16 > 1:39:18The number of times I've wanted to run away and hide

1:39:18 > 1:39:22and pretend that it's not happening, but I can't because she needs me!

1:39:24 > 1:39:26Please, Greg.

1:39:26 > 1:39:30You're still her husband. Doesn't that count for something?

1:39:30 > 1:39:34If you ever loved her, then please don't go!

1:39:35 > 1:39:38She needs you!

1:39:38 > 1:39:40- I- need you.

1:39:43 > 1:39:45Take care.

1:39:47 > 1:39:48"Take care"?

1:39:49 > 1:39:51DOOR SLAMS

1:39:51 > 1:39:53ENGINE REVS

1:39:54 > 1:39:55"Take care"?!

1:39:55 > 1:39:58You can go to hell, Greg! JUST GO TO HELL!

1:40:00 > 1:40:02You COWARD!

1:40:15 > 1:40:17- DOOR SLAMS - Lauren?

1:40:34 > 1:40:37It's OK, Mum. We don't need him.

1:40:39 > 1:40:42TANYA SOBS

1:40:50 > 1:40:52Are you going to tell me what's up?

1:40:54 > 1:40:57Ooh, you stubborn old mare!

1:40:58 > 1:41:00It was that call from my son, Simon.

1:41:02 > 1:41:06He's got himself in deep water, he's going to lose his house.

1:41:06 > 1:41:08So I went to see my brokers,

1:41:08 > 1:41:12try and get a loan, but I'm too old, apparently.

1:41:15 > 1:41:17They're right, aren't they?

1:41:17 > 1:41:20I'm just a useless, decrepit old woman...

1:41:20 > 1:41:21How much?

1:41:21 > 1:41:24- What?- How much does he need?

1:41:24 > 1:41:26No, Norman, I can't let you do that.

1:41:26 > 1:41:29Rather see your son and grandchildren go homeless?

1:41:29 > 1:41:31How much?

1:41:33 > 1:41:3550 grand.

1:41:37 > 1:41:39Leave with it me.

1:41:43 > 1:41:46Oh, hello. Be back in a sec, mate.

1:41:54 > 1:41:57I'm going to go and speak to the girls.

1:41:57 > 1:41:58All right, babe.

1:42:00 > 1:42:01You all right?

1:42:01 > 1:42:03Yeah.

1:42:03 > 1:42:05So, erm, look...

1:42:07 > 1:42:09Listen, mate, erm...

1:42:09 > 1:42:12- are we cool?- Oh, mate, yeah, we're cool. Yeah, we're cool.- Yeah?

1:42:12 > 1:42:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:42:13 > 1:42:17- All right.- Just... - Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.

1:42:22 > 1:42:25Forward. Forward, forward, forward.

1:42:25 > 1:42:26Stop.

1:42:27 > 1:42:28Go on, open them.

1:42:30 > 1:42:32Well?

1:42:32 > 1:42:34Yeah.

1:42:34 > 1:42:36A night in your front room.

1:42:36 > 1:42:40That's supposed to get me to marry you, is it?

1:42:40 > 1:42:42I've gone to a lot of effort. I mean, it's romantic.

1:42:42 > 1:42:44What is, Ian?

1:42:44 > 1:42:48Hiding me away, so nobody sees us together?

1:42:48 > 1:42:51Yes, I used to be a lap dancer.

1:42:51 > 1:42:54I'm not ashamed of that, even if you are.

1:42:54 > 1:42:56Where're you going?

1:42:56 > 1:42:58There's a party on the Square.

1:42:58 > 1:43:01What, that kids' thing? Oh, come on, Mandy, you're far too...

1:43:01 > 1:43:04Oh, I do not give a flying fig.

1:43:05 > 1:43:07DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS

1:43:10 > 1:43:12Nice bath?

1:43:16 > 1:43:17Come here.

1:43:42 > 1:43:45LOUD MUSIC AND CHEERING

1:43:52 > 1:43:54- Oh, that is lovely, innit?- Lovely!

1:43:58 > 1:43:59INAUDIBLE

1:44:15 > 1:44:17Ta.

1:44:26 > 1:44:27Tyler, leave me alone.

1:44:27 > 1:44:31- I can't stop thinking about you. - Well, I'm with Fats.

1:44:31 > 1:44:34- To get my attention, make me jealous. I get it.- No.

1:44:34 > 1:44:38- It's obvious you and him ain't got that spark.- You're wrong.

1:44:38 > 1:44:42- You're mates, that's all.- Yeah, and that's how I know it's right.

1:44:42 > 1:44:45I mean, he's funny, he's kind,

1:44:45 > 1:44:47he's loyal, he's not going to let me down.

1:44:47 > 1:44:50- So he's safe.- He's what I need.

1:44:53 > 1:44:56Look, I don't expect you to get that.

1:44:58 > 1:45:01But then that's kind of the point.

1:46:01 > 1:46:03SHE SIGHS

1:46:27 > 1:46:30PHONE BEEPS

1:47:16 > 1:47:17Lauren!

1:47:32 > 1:47:36Oi. I thought this was supposed to be your party?

1:47:36 > 1:47:39- So?- So, why are you sitting in here, sulking?

1:47:39 > 1:47:42Go and join your girly mates and have a girly dance.

1:47:42 > 1:47:48Why don't you just shut your big, sexist gob and pour me one of them?

1:47:58 > 1:48:00It's obvious, he fancies you rotten.

1:48:00 > 1:48:03Oh, don't be stupid, I'm ancient to a kid like Ben.

1:48:03 > 1:48:06Besides, Jane's like his surrogate aunty, so that would make me his uncle.

1:48:06 > 1:48:09Now you're just making it sound weird.

1:48:09 > 1:48:14- All right?- All right. - I'll head home. Catch me up?

1:48:15 > 1:48:20I'm glad I bumped into you, actually. Er, well, I got something for you.

1:48:24 > 1:48:26Ben, you really shouldn't have.

1:48:26 > 1:48:30Don't worry. Saw it in the market, going cheap. And, well...

1:48:30 > 1:48:31Well, you keep it.

1:48:32 > 1:48:34I bought two copies.

1:48:35 > 1:48:37Right.

1:48:39 > 1:48:42- Well, I better be getting off. - Yeah.

1:48:46 > 1:48:49- Oi, you've had more than me! - Yeah, you started before me!

1:48:49 > 1:48:51Hardly had any before greedy guts got here.

1:48:51 > 1:48:55Oi, it is rude to insult a lady!

1:48:55 > 1:48:57A lady?

1:48:57 > 1:48:58Where's she, then?

1:48:58 > 1:48:59Ha, ha.

1:49:01 > 1:49:03- Oi, you!- Yeah?

1:49:03 > 1:49:05OK, hand it over.

1:49:05 > 1:49:08- Get off me! - All right, I was just messing.

1:49:13 > 1:49:16What you doing? What you doing?

1:49:17 > 1:49:18I've had enough.

1:49:20 > 1:49:21# No teasing

1:49:21 > 1:49:25# I need you to get up up on the dance floor

1:49:25 > 1:49:27# Give that man what he asking for

1:49:27 > 1:49:31# Cos I feel like busting loose and I feel like touching you

1:49:32 > 1:49:34# And can't nobody stop the juice

1:49:34 > 1:49:36# So baby

1:49:36 > 1:49:38# It's getting hot in here

1:49:38 > 1:49:40# So take off all your clothes

1:49:40 > 1:49:42# I am gettin so hot

1:49:42 > 1:49:44# I wanna take my clothes off

1:49:44 > 1:49:47# It's getting hot in here

1:49:47 > 1:49:49# So take off all your clothes

1:49:49 > 1:49:51# I am gettin so hot

1:49:51 > 1:49:52# I wanna take my clothes off... #

1:49:52 > 1:49:53Here. Stick this on.

1:49:53 > 1:49:55Please.

1:50:00 > 1:50:02MUSIC FADES

1:50:02 > 1:50:05# It's hip to be square

1:50:05 > 1:50:07# It's hip to be square

1:50:10 > 1:50:13# I like my bands in business suits

1:50:13 > 1:50:15# I watch them on TV... #

1:50:16 > 1:50:18I can't dance!

1:50:18 > 1:50:21Good. Come on.

1:50:23 > 1:50:27# They tell me that it's good for me

1:50:27 > 1:50:29# But I don't even care

1:50:30 > 1:50:32# I know that it's crazy

1:50:32 > 1:50:33# I know that it's nowhere

1:50:33 > 1:50:36# But there is no denying that

1:50:36 > 1:50:38# It's hip to be a square

1:50:40 > 1:50:42# It's hip to be a square

1:50:42 > 1:50:44# It's hip to be a square... #

1:50:44 > 1:50:46Whoo-hoo!

1:50:46 > 1:50:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1:51:21 > 1:51:23Lauren?

1:51:23 > 1:51:25Lauren, is that you?

1:51:26 > 1:51:27Lauren?

1:51:36 > 1:51:38Lauren?

1:51:43 > 1:51:47# Happy birthday to you

1:51:47 > 1:51:52# Happy birthday to you

1:51:52 > 1:51:56# Happy birthday dear Poppy... #

1:51:56 > 1:51:58Poppity Poppity Pops!

1:51:58 > 1:52:02# Happy birthday to you! #

1:52:02 > 1:52:06- Hip hip...- Hooray! - Hip hip...- Hooray!

1:52:06 > 1:52:13- HIP HIP...- Hooray!- All right, let's get this party started!

1:52:13 > 1:52:15# If you wanna get with me

1:52:15 > 1:52:17# There's some things you gotta know

1:52:17 > 1:52:21# I like my beats fast and my bass down low

1:52:21 > 1:52:23# Ba-ba-bass, bass, bass down low

1:52:23 > 1:52:25# Ba-ba-bass down low

1:52:25 > 1:52:30# I-I-I like my beats fast and my bass down low

1:52:30 > 1:52:32# Ba-bass down low

1:52:32 > 1:52:34# Ba-ba-bass, bass, bass down low... #

1:52:34 > 1:52:37I'm not in the mood for a lecture, all right?

1:52:39 > 1:52:41# One, two, three, OK

1:52:41 > 1:52:43# Can I get a little Goose in my OJ?

1:52:43 > 1:52:46# Every day feel like my birthday

1:52:46 > 1:52:48# And we sip champagne when we thirsty

1:52:48 > 1:52:50# Straight buzzin' Robotussin

1:52:50 > 1:52:51# Wanna get ya mitts in my oven?

1:52:51 > 1:52:53# Wanna get a lick of this lovin'?

1:52:53 > 1:52:55# G-g-g-get a lick of this lovin'

1:52:55 > 1:52:59# Yeah, I like it loud

1:52:59 > 1:53:00# And I'll make you shout

1:53:00 > 1:53:02# Give you that Black Eyed Peas

1:53:02 > 1:53:04# You know that Boom Boom Pow

1:53:04 > 1:53:08# If you wanna get with me There's some things you gotta know

1:53:08 > 1:53:12# I like my beats fast And my bass down low

1:53:12 > 1:53:14# Ba-ba-bass, bass Bass down low... #

1:53:35 > 1:53:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:53:38 > 1:53:41Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk