0:00:24 > 0:00:26PHONE RINGS
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Hello, Queen Vic?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33I thought I told you to leave me alone.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38- Ah!- Where've you been?! - Close your eyes.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- Close your eyes, no peeking. - What have you done?
0:00:41 > 0:00:45Never you mind. Keep them closed. I'll tell you when. Not yet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Right. Open.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49What do you reckon?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51It's a summer dress.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Where we're going, it is summer.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Alfie, what have you done?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Apparently, in Funchal, it was 76 degrees yesterday.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00So I kind of call that summer.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Tomorrow, we fly out from Luton airport. Bring it on!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Alfie!- Now this is a size ten. I don't think it'll fit me.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Give me two minutes, all right?
0:01:08 > 0:01:10- Right, come on! - PHONE RINGS
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Don't answer it. It's telesales. They've been driving me nuts all morning.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Nah, it'll be all right.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Hello?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27You're through to the Queen Victoria, number one pub in London.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30If you'd like a pint of bitter, press one.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33If you'd like to ogle our barmaids, press two.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Or if you'd like a punch-up, just press three. Beep!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39THEY LAUGH
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Right, Sheila, get the dress on now, before I get angry. Come on!
0:01:43 > 0:01:47- You're not going to the solicitor's now are you?- I told you.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49But I've got a client at the gym in 20 minutes.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I can hardly change the appointment.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55- All right. Tell me all about it when you get home, yeah?- Yeah.- See you.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Oh, Ian, that is so you!
0:02:08 > 0:02:12This, right, is called, repairing the damage.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- Sorry? - Gordon Baggs invited me for a game. I could hardly say no.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- I thought you'd been chucked out of that W... - CCT, yeah. I have been chucked out.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22But hopefully, by the end of this morning, I'll have been chucked back in.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- Can I come?- No. You don't play golf.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Yeah, and I don't suppose that stops YOU.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30I will be back by lunchtime.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34OK. Well, don't go getting any more speeding tickets.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Is that meant to be funny?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Can I take the car for a spin when you get back?
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Mandy, no, you can't! I've told you before, you're not insured, OK.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43It's against the law.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Can't we break the law?
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Have you got any idea how much that car's worth?- Mm-hm.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54And that's what would make it so exciting.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Oh, come on, Ian. Don't you ever want to do something a little bit reckless?
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Break the rules? Go over to the dark side?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Yeah, you've got a game of golf, love.
0:03:04 > 0:03:10Um, I'm going to make myself a bacon sandwich, all right?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Make sure you clear up afterwards, yeah?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15And I'm going to eat it all by myself.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Very, very, very slowly.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Oi! Clear off!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Ain't a car like this more hassle than it's worth?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I can see how it... might pull the birds.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42This car is not about pulling the birds.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46This car is about the engineering. It's about knowing if you're in a tight spot,
0:03:46 > 0:03:49you can put your foot down, 0-60, eight seconds.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51That is what this car is about.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Right. Nothing to do with showing off?
0:03:55 > 0:03:56I don't need to show off.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07# It's the final countdown... #
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Look who it is!
0:04:32 > 0:04:34It's Daddy!
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Oh, look what he's got!
0:04:40 > 0:04:45Mrs Moon, it says here that Winston Churchill used to love going on holiday to Madeira
0:04:45 > 0:04:47to concentrate on his paintings.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I heard he was a dab hand at skirting boards.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Ha-ha! But what I was thinking, right...
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Whooee-whooee! Woof-woof!
0:04:55 > 0:04:58It's a bit, um, it's a bit small, isn't it?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Never in the field of human crumpet...
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- What?- ..has so much been squeezed
0:05:05 > 0:05:08into so little!
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- THEY LAUGH - Come on, I know you want me!- Stop!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13You want Mr Churchill! Yes, you do!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Come on, we've got the place to ourselves, haven't we?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Shenice is at school, little Tommy's out shopping with Jean
0:05:19 > 0:05:24and Mo's probably doing some dodgy deal with Fat Elvis. Come on, it's just me and you!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26# I know you want me I know you want me... #
0:05:26 > 0:05:27PHONE RINGS
0:05:27 > 0:05:31Don't worry about that. Come on, let's go! Get up them stairs!
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Why didn't you tell me you'd had a baby?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Um, let me think.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Oh, I remember.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47We just got married and you ran off with a man.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54- She's so peaceful.- Try saying that at 4am when she's woken up for the 15th time.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- Have you seen the bags under my eyes? - What bags?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- I look terrible.- You look OK to me.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01I feel like a bag lady.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05What?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08You haven't changed.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Have you told Christian you're seeing me?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Seems like you haven't changed much either.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Ew!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Is this full fat?
0:06:21 > 0:06:22I asked for a skinny latte.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Oh!
0:06:27 > 0:06:29What's so funny?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Nothing.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34It's good to see you.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38It's good to see you, too.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45So, why haven't you told him? Or can I guess?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50- He thinks I'm seeing a solicitor. - What about?
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Access rights.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- What?- Look, don't freak out, it won't come to that, but...
0:06:55 > 0:06:59- You know, it would be good. - What would?
0:06:59 > 0:07:04If Christian and I could have her to stay. Maybe one afternoon a week.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Nuh-huh. There is no way I am letting that man anywhere my baby.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- It's not like she'll come to any harm.- Syed, no!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Oh, come on, what did you expect?
0:07:14 > 0:07:18I mean, it's not like you can't see her from time to time, like this.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22BABY WAILS Oh! What's wrong? What's wrong?
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- Are you getting hungry? - (Hey. Hey, come here.)
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Would you mind just holding her for a sec while I get some food?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31BABY WAILS
0:07:31 > 0:07:32(Hey!)
0:07:33 > 0:07:36(Come on, Yas.)
0:07:36 > 0:07:37(That's a girl.)
0:07:40 > 0:07:42(Come on, baby.)
0:07:44 > 0:07:46It was a bit like being propositioned by Minnie Mouse.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Jean came on to you?
0:07:48 > 0:07:52It was a very strange conversation. Left me worried.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56What? That you'd turn around and find you'd accidentally trodden on her?
0:07:58 > 0:08:02So, tell me, what is the Jean Slater seduction technique?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04She skipped that and went straight onto the "why don't we live together?" bit.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07You know she's completely nuts.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10What are you saying? She has to be, wanting to live with me?
0:08:10 > 0:08:14No, really. She's got a condition.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17It's not the condition that's the problem. Let's face it,
0:08:17 > 0:08:19we all have our moments.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21So what, then?
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Well, let me put it this way, Pat - she hasn't got what you've got.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Norman, are you never going to stop asking?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- Are you never going to stop saying no?- Norman...
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Remember Frank's first rule of salesmanship?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35"No" is the first step on the road to "yes".
0:08:39 > 0:08:41And finally, Whitney.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46"Like all Sagittarians, you have a tendency to worry too much.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49"As though you're standing on the end of a springboard,
0:08:49 > 0:08:51"frightened to take the plunge.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55"But just for once, put your worries to one side.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58"Come on in. The water's lovely."
0:09:01 > 0:09:05- No need to guess what you two will be up to this afternoon.- Lauren.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Right. Time to go make some money.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I'll see you later.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Yeah, see you later.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Right, what've I said?
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Whitney?- I just wish you wouldn't say things like that.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- Like what?- Just don't, all right.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33You're saying you two haven't...?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Lauren, I don't want to talk about it, OK.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Right. Is this cos of the whole...Rob thing?
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Why, when I say I don't want to talk about it, d'you just carry on?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Hey, hey, ladies. What's with the handbags?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I've got to go to work.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Right. Well, she just went for me.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54Why?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57She's hung up on the whole Tyler thing
0:09:57 > 0:09:59and cos of what happened last spring.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Come on, you know what I mean?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Tyler's gorgeous. I wouldn't think twice.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Right. What have I said now?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Uh... Fats.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Why do you always go for the ones you can't have?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25# Let's all sing like the birdies sing
0:10:25 > 0:10:27# Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet
0:10:27 > 0:10:30# Let's all sing like the birdies sing
0:10:30 > 0:10:32# Sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet
0:10:32 > 0:10:36# Let's all warble like nightingales
0:10:36 > 0:10:38# Give your throat a treat
0:10:38 > 0:10:42# Take your time from the birds now you all know your words
0:10:42 > 0:10:43# Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet... #
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Am I late?
0:10:44 > 0:10:48No, we just started early. Actually, it's good you're here.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50I think you know Roxy, don't you?
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Vaguely.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- I think she might be a little bit shy.- Roxy? Shy?
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Could you go and have a word? Try and make her feel a bit more at home?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Yeah. All right?
0:11:02 > 0:11:05All right. Just been sent over here?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- No.- No? Looked like it.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10You kind of do look a bit all on your own.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Ah. It's called "on purpose", Whitney.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- Come on, join in, it's fun. - Can I ask you a question?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Do you really want to do this for a living?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Yeah, that's the plan.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24So you'd be here, like, everyday?
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Yeah. Five days a week.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- Why?- Cos I like kids.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34Whitney? What's all this about you and Tyler Moon?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40'After 50 years of living together,
0:11:40 > 0:11:44'can you agree on which item will bring the biggest profit?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47SMOKE ALARMS BEEPS
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Oh! Oh!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Oh! Come on!
0:12:32 > 0:12:33Jack!
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Come here.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- What's wrong?- It's the smoke alarm. I can't turn it off.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Listen, Fats, I'm not doing anything today.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- So?- So, if you're feeling a bit,
0:12:52 > 0:12:54I dunno, about the whole Whitney thing,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56maybe we could hang out if you like.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- As friends, I mean.- Friends?
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Better than us both being alone and feeling miserable, isn't it?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- Hold tight. So what you telling me? You pity me now?- No!
0:13:05 > 0:13:09You know what, Lauren, I got work, yeah. Maybe tomorrow or something.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- We'll fix something up, then, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah...
0:13:23 > 0:13:25You weren't pushing the button hard enough.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Really? Not like me.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Well, I'm a weak and helpless woman
0:13:32 > 0:13:34that just needs a big, strong man to come and rescue me.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Since when has Ian Beale been big and strong?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40I wasn't talking about Ian. Fancy a coffee?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45SYED MIMICS AEROPLANE DRONE
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Sorry to break up the party, but we really should be heading back.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Dad'll be wondering where I am.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58How's it been? Living with him?
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Oh. Dad's OK. I could do without the wagging tongues, though.
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Wagging tongues?
0:14:03 > 0:14:06You know, the looks. The whispers.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11"Couldn't keep a husband, poor girl. She turned him gay," you know.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21I can't get over how lovely she is.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- D'you want me to take a picture? - Yeah.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Listen, I've been doing some sums, working out how much I can afford.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- No need. Dad looks after us. - I want to help.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37SHE SIGHS
0:14:37 > 0:14:38What?
0:14:38 > 0:14:42It's just I don't have many friends.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43You know, real friends.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46It's good to have someone to talk to.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture of the three of us?
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- The three of us? - I want to be in it too.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09So are we going to do this again?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Yeah.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Only I don't want to lie.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24So I've decided.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26I'm going to tell Christian.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28The minute I get back.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32He won't like it, but it's better he hears now than later on.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36I'm not going to change my mind about him seeing her.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I'll sort it.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44I've never really been one to join in the club, you know what I mean?
0:15:44 > 0:15:46That's not so uncommon.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49You know that we run a single parents' support group on Wednesdays?
0:15:49 > 0:15:52No, no, no, I don't need a single parents' support group. Cheers.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Right. What, then?
0:15:55 > 0:16:00It's just when I see all these women and their perfect smiles
0:16:00 > 0:16:02and their perfect children
0:16:02 > 0:16:05and their little birds that go "tweet, tweet, tweet"
0:16:05 > 0:16:08something inside of me just wants to scream.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Does that make me such a bad person?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12No. I know that being a parent can sometimes be...
0:16:12 > 0:16:16No. It's not your fault. Don't take it personally, OK.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20Don't take it personally, but when I come here
0:16:20 > 0:16:24it is literally like aliens have landed, they've taken over
0:16:24 > 0:16:25and nobody knows about it but me.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Amy! Shall we get you a big, fat lolly?
0:16:29 > 0:16:32We're going to stick you in front of the telly for the rest of the day.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Ian Beale is so transparent.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46He gets himself sort of gold-digging bimbo for a girlfriend
0:16:46 > 0:16:48and the next thing, he's got a ridiculous sports car
0:16:48 > 0:16:52- parked outside his house. - You're hardly one to talk.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Of course, I'm sorry, I'm forgetting.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57You're the loyal, devoted mother and wife these days, aren't you?
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Ah, Mrs Moon, if you'd care to come upstairs,
0:17:06 > 0:17:08where lunch is now being served.
0:17:08 > 0:17:14We have beans a la Moon, poached in their own rich tomato sauce,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17and drizzled over slightly buttered pain grille.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19That's medium toast to you, darling.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Kat?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Sorry.
0:17:25 > 0:17:30- What's the matter? I thought we were having a real nice day.- We are.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34I'm just a bit premenstrual.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36I'll be all right in a minute.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41OK. Is there something you're not telling me?
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Just that I love you.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49I don't tell you enough, do I?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- Come here. - Beans are going to get cold.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Come here.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03You got the heating on in the bedroom?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- When I need your advice, I'll ask for it.- Have you tidied the bathroom?
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- Why would I do that?- Do you want her to think you're a total slob?
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Breathe out.- Why?- Just do it.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Hmm... Well, er, most important thing.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Will you stop fussing? It's not like I've not done this before.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Why you so nervous, then?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29This has got to go right.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30Too many false starts.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34I want it to be perfect.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Look, just relax, yeah? Be yourself.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41Tell me everything when I get back, all right? Have fun. Enjoy it!
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Fancy another?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Nah, I better go.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58You're a right barrel of laughs, you, ain't ya?
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Well, I've just been to see my wife. In prison.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03So that might have something to do with it.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04How'd it go?
0:19:04 > 0:19:09Yeah, not too good. Seeing as she wouldn't even see me, so...
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Come on, stay for another. See if I can't find you some biccies.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Why do you want me here, anyway?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20The look on Ian's face, I guess.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23See you later.
0:19:25 > 0:19:30Listen, I am sorry about your wife. Come here.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40MUSIC BLARES FROM IAN'S CAR
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Do you really think that is the kind of thing to impress a girl?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Pat, this is about me. OK? It's got nothing to do with Mandy.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I've wanted one of these for ages.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58What would your Mum say if she was still with us?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00I think she'd be proud. She'd be impressed.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Oh, Ian.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04If it makes me happy, what is wrong with that?
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Pah!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16If you go round, sit behind the wheel, see how it fits, bruv.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48TV SWITCHES ON
0:20:48 > 0:20:50FRONT DOOR OPENS
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Hi, sweetheart. How'd you get on?
0:20:53 > 0:20:59- What was he doing here?- Sorry? - You know what I'm talking about.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02How was golf? Did you win?
0:21:02 > 0:21:03What the hell was he doing here?!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06I'm not going to talk to you if you use that tone of voice with me.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- I asked you a question! - SWITCHES TV OFF
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Yeah, go on.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11I like it when you get all fierce.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14And if you wasn't such a shrimp, I'd almost find it sexy.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Well, come on! Say something!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20What is stopping you?!
0:21:33 > 0:21:35All this stuff starts flying out my mouth
0:21:35 > 0:21:37and I'm like, "Did I really just say that!" I can't go back there!
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I think it's hilarious.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43Please don't, Christian, don't! I'm going to be one of those bad mums that you read about.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46She's going to grow up resenting me, I'm going to resent her back,
0:21:46 > 0:21:50and then when she's pregnant or in borstal, they're going to say it was my fault.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53I tell you what. Instead of going home and getting fed up and bored,
0:21:53 > 0:21:57why don't I take my two favourite ladies for a little bit of fun?
0:21:57 > 0:21:58You are so sweet.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I know.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03- Cheers.- Hello.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05All right?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07What?
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- You know Ian's taken up with this Mandy?- Yeah. What about it?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Strange girl, ain't she?
0:22:14 > 0:22:18If the smoke alarm hadn't gone off, he'd have never even been here.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22Why would I even look at another man when you've been so good to me?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24The mess in the kitchen!
0:22:24 > 0:22:26You haven't even told me about the golf.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28I lost on purpose.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30So are they going to invite you back?
0:22:30 > 0:22:36Is Ian going to be a respectable member of the WCCT again?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Why'd you do it, Mandy?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Is this all deliberate?
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Do you get some sort of weird kick out of winding me up? Is that it?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48I'm just trying to be friendly here.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50If you want to be friends,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53how about clearing that mess up before I get downstairs?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- Where are you going? - To get changed.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Not out of your sweater, surely?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03Not when you look so irresistible.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- You all right?- You all right, Fats. You got the time?
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Yeah. 1.20pm, bruv. - Fingers crossed, then.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14What's that about?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16My brother and his bird.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Let's hope he gets it right this time.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Yeah.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39What you doing?
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Just making it...romantic?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Oh.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48What sort of music do you like?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49You choose.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57# I want to get with you
0:23:57 > 0:24:01# I see you in the club You showing thugs love
0:24:01 > 0:24:03# I want to get with you... ½
0:24:03 > 0:24:06So... "Come on in. The water's lovely."
0:24:10 > 0:24:11You nervous?
0:24:13 > 0:24:14- Yeah.- Me too.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17That's why I bought this.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22No, I'd rather not.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- Come on, it'll loosen you up. - I don't need loosening up.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28I think you do. I think we both do.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I'll get a couple of glasses.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Why do you want to get me bladdered?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- I never said I did. - Well, what's with the vodka?
0:24:47 > 0:24:50Like I say, just to relax us a bit.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Come on.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11What have I done?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14It's not you.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16I thought we liked each other. Or have I got that wrong?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18So what's the problem?
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Please don't touch me.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22What am I supposed to have done?
0:25:22 > 0:25:23Is it the music?
0:25:25 > 0:25:26SWITCHES MUSIC OFF
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- Do you want the curtains open? - I need to go home.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Is it cos you think someone's going to come in?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- I really don't want to do this any more.- OK, but...
0:25:33 > 0:25:34I can do what I want, all right!
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Would you rather go upstairs?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39No! No.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Is it cos it reminds ya?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Sorry? Of what?
0:25:45 > 0:25:49It's not like I'm a punter. I respect you.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50It looks like it.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53I think you're fantastic and if you'd rather do this another time...
0:25:53 > 0:25:57I'm sorry, I don't need to hear this.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Whitney, please. I didn't mean anything by it.
0:26:19 > 0:26:25Just go away! I don't want to be anywhere near you any more.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Come on, Uncle Christian. Oh! He did it!
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Uncle Christian's so clever!
0:26:47 > 0:26:51- Look who's home! - All right, Syed, want to join in?
0:26:51 > 0:26:52Yeah, in a minute, maybe.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54So, come on, then.
0:26:54 > 0:26:59- How was the solicitor?- Fine.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Come on, let's try another one. See if I can do it. Ready?
0:27:13 > 0:27:16For the inspection of my lord and master.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19All right.
0:27:19 > 0:27:20Now get yourself upstairs.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25- You what?- Mandy, it's not like I don't realise what you're up to.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29And what am I up to exactly?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Get upstairs. Get undressed.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35- What do you think I am? - Mandy, I know what you are.
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Mandy!
0:27:48 > 0:27:54- Mandy. Mandy!- You want to know what I think about your damned car?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- Oh, wow!- Mandy!
0:27:57 > 0:28:01Everybody! Outside now! You do not want to miss this.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Mandy, please! Stop it!
0:28:03 > 0:28:04Mandy, no!
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Mandy, please don't do this! This is ridiculous!
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Come on, look, I'm sorry!
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- Get away!- All right, all right.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14- Fabulous.- Mandy, for goodness sake!
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Come on Mandy, please just stop it. No!
0:28:17 > 0:28:22It's not my car. Yeah, I rented it.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Well, in that case...
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Mandy, come on, don't you think you've done enough?!
0:28:26 > 0:28:28No, Mandy please, no!
0:28:28 > 0:28:30EVERYONE GASPS
0:28:30 > 0:28:35That...that was fantastic.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:00 > 0:29:05E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk