0:00:24 > 0:00:26Max, Max.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- Well, ain't he coming now? - Course he's coming!
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Jack, can I have a word?
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Er, not now, Dot. We got a bit of family crisis on our hands.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48She's upstairs. In the bathroom.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Go up.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Don't just stand there.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Do you really think this is a good idea?
0:01:04 > 0:01:05MAX KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Tan, it's me, it's Max.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Tan, can you open the door, please?
0:01:18 > 0:01:20If you don't open this door, I'll kick it down. I mean it.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Tan!
0:01:32 > 0:01:37- Tan. Tan, what have you done?- Get off me!- Babe, have you taken these?
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- Have you taken these?- Why can't you just leave me alone? Get off me!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Make yourself sick. Make yourself sick!
0:01:42 > 0:01:43- I haven't swallowed them!- Dad!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49It's all in hand. Just go downstairs, please.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56What's happening? What did he say?
0:01:56 > 0:02:02- He... He just told me to come down. - Let's all go and sit in here.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Yeah, come on, Carol's right.
0:02:06 > 0:02:12I thought everything was fine. Tanya, she's always been, you know, so capable. Such a good mother.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- Yeah, did for my mother, that.- What?
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- (MOUTHS) Cancer.- Oh. - She was a smoker too.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23- Oh, I'm Derek, by the way. - Derek who?- Derek Branning.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27You must be Jim's eldest boy. How do you do? Let me introduce myself.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28My name is Dorothy.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32- I'm your stepmother. - Well, I'm charmed.- Thank you.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Oh, allow me.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Oh, thank you.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Lauren says you're sick.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Says you got cancer.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- I don't wish to talk about it. - Is she right? Is it true?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- What do you care?- Have you got? - Yes. I'm riddled with it.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56- I'm serious.- So am I. So am I.
0:02:59 > 0:03:04It's like a little monster inside me. Just growing and spreading.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Yeah, but you been to the doctor, ain't you?
0:03:06 > 0:03:08You been to hospital? Cos Lauren said you've been having treatment.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13What do you want from me?
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Lauren's crying her eyes out, begging me to come sort you out.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- Look at you. You're a mess! - You're helping, are you?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24This ain't you, Tan. I just want...
0:03:24 > 0:03:27- ..want you to...- What?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29For me to be well? Cos I'm not. I'm not well.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30I've got cancer.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Just like my dad. There you go, I said it.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36There you go, I've got cancer. Cancer. Cancer. You happy now?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I've accepted it. I am sick. Well done. Job done.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40You got through to me.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- What type?- Cervical. Cervical cancer.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51They can sort that one out, can't they?
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Just cos they've got doctors and hospitals and drugs and things don't mean they can cure it.
0:03:58 > 0:04:03Just cos you see a doctor or get on a list, it doesn't guarantee anything.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Has it advanced?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Not getting any better.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Then how come you ain't getting treatment?!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- Because I decided against it. - Why would you do that?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I just did. End of interrogation. End of conversation.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- Where you going?- Why won't you leave me alone?! Who are you, anyway?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24You're not my husband.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28You're nothing. You are just someone who used to be in my life.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- And I'd like you to leave now. - Where are you going, Tan?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Away from you, is that all right?
0:04:36 > 0:04:37SHE PANTS
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Why can't you just leave me alone? Why won't you just go away?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50So how long you had it?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I don't know. A few months.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- A few months? - Yes, about that.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- What, so you knew before I left? - Um, no I don't think so.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11Is that it? What? You knew and you didn't say anything?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13What would you have done, Max? What?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Stuck around? Is that it? Been a good and loyal friend?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Is that why you just changed your mind about us? That night?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- Is that why you told me it was over?- No.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28- You said you'd been at the doctors with Oscar.- I don't want to talk about this.- Is that what happened?
0:05:30 > 0:05:33What, so you found out then you just broke it off with me?
0:05:37 > 0:05:39What difference does it make?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Why didn't you just tell me?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Cos I didn't want you around.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07I didn't want to break up with Greg, and move in with you and have you lumbered with a dying woman.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12- You've got a disease. Don't mean you're dying.- Sick, all right. A sick woman, a sick woman.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15I been around it, Max. I've seen what's it like.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20A disease doesn't just destroy the body,
0:06:20 > 0:06:22it rots a marriage as well.
0:06:22 > 0:06:30It takes all that love and it turns it into politeness and resentment.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I've seen it. I've seen it with my mum and dad.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37So you think I would have just run off and abandoned you?
0:06:37 > 0:06:41No. I think you would have stuck it out. But I would have known, Max.
0:06:41 > 0:06:46I'd have seen it in your eyes, that look. You'd have smiled at me, have driven me to the hospital,
0:06:46 > 0:06:48and inside you'd have been going, "What have I done?"
0:06:48 > 0:06:51"One minute I'm romping round the bedroom with my ex,
0:06:51 > 0:06:56"the next I'm lumbered with this diseased old cow." And then...
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Then you'd have started looking around, wouldn't you?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Thinking about someone else.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03You wouldn't have wanted me.
0:07:05 > 0:07:10I was willing to throw everything up in the air again, take a risk.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12All I wanted was to be with you.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18Even if you'd ended up with an invalid on your hands?
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- You wouldn't have been disgusted? - Of course I wouldn't.
0:07:32 > 0:07:38It takes months, a year, sometimes longer to go through treatment.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44There's chemo, radiotherapy, and there are side effects.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49I mean, you get to look like this.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53You get to be scared and weepy,
0:07:53 > 0:08:00and there's this horrible regime of drugs and you feel sick, you look sick, and exhausted,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03and it's on your mind the whole time.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09Even if you forget it, just for a minute, it's there, waiting to come back at you.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15You go to bed at night, you're not thinking, "Oh, what shall I wear,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17"That nice negligee that gets hubby excited?"
0:08:18 > 0:08:20You're in your big thick pyjamas.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24D'you want that?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27D'you think you could love that?
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Yeah.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37You know, at least I would've liked to have been given a chance.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42That's a chance I couldn't take, Max.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52You're not a tender man, Max, you're not. You're not kind.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57You're not the type of person that's like...
0:08:57 > 0:09:01That's kind and patient and loving and who'd just be there
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- with nothing but love in his heart. You're not.- I've changed, ain't I?
0:09:04 > 0:09:08- Everything that's happened, it's changed me.- Yeah, right.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13Three kids together. You don't think that means anything to me?
0:09:13 > 0:09:17You don't think you should have taken a risk? Given me a chance?
0:09:17 > 0:09:18No.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- You don't want to be vulnerable? It's selfish.- Selfish?
0:09:22 > 0:09:24You got three kids and people that love you.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Don't you think you should let them help?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31And burden them, burden them all? No! What good would that do?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Who's that going to help, Max? Not them.
0:09:34 > 0:09:40I know how it feels. I know what it does to you. And I won't have that for my kids.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44I don't want that for anyone I love.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51So you do love me?
0:09:54 > 0:09:59This isn't about you, Max. This is about what happened to me. My dad.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01This is what I...
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- It's about what I did. - You were Florence Nightingale. You did your best.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Babe, him dying weren't your fault.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12What, you think it was?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17She knows.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23She knows what I did, don't you? She's going to make me pay for it.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29Cora, please... just tell me what she's talking about?
0:10:34 > 0:10:38I killed my dad. I helped him to die.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Max, I'd like a moment alone with my daughter. If you don't mind?
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, Cora.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- I don't think that's a very good idea.- Go on.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Nothing bad's going to happen. I promise.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Ain't you even going to look at me?
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Is she OK?
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Yeah.
0:11:26 > 0:11:32- Yeah, I don't know, Lauren. Yeah, I think she is, yeah.- Should we go up?
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Don't go up, Abi, she's talking to your nan.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38I'm glad you're back.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Are you?
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Abi?
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Girls, I'm sorry. Come here. Come here. Come on. I love ya.
0:12:01 > 0:12:07- Why would you have done that?- Cos he was in pain, Mum. He wanted me to.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- He asked me to.- He would never have done that. Not William.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I knew him inside out. He was my husband.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19- Did you really know him that well, Mum? In the end?- I was there.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23- I was around. You keep telling me I wasn't but I was. - You weren't there, Mum.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27You were out, you were working, you were out down the club.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Someone had to bring the money in. He wasn't going to, was he?
0:12:30 > 0:12:36We had to eat. I had to put food on the table.
0:12:36 > 0:12:42- And a bet on the horses.- I never did that once your dad was ill!
0:12:42 > 0:12:47- We used to find the stubs in the bin, Mum.- Once or twice, maybe.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51You don't criticise me. Not after what you've done.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56So what? I was still a young woman
0:12:56 > 0:12:58with a sick husband and a coupla kids.
0:12:59 > 0:13:05I was scared out of my mind. A coupla drinks. The odd punt.
0:13:05 > 0:13:06It got me through.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10He didn't blame you.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13He didn't.
0:13:16 > 0:13:21My dad, he was the sweetest, kindest man that ever lived.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Used to make me feel like the most precious thing.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31When he was dying I tried to make him feel the same. But it didn't work.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Being ill, Mum, it's hard.
0:13:39 > 0:13:45It's gruelling, it's painful, and it's there all day, all night.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48That's what I learnt.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Them long nights.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57That's where I learnt what life was really about, Mum. By his bedside.
0:13:57 > 0:14:04So you topped your father, then you lied to everyone when you got ill. That what you learnt?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07I didn't "top" him, Mum!
0:14:07 > 0:14:12Then what did you do? Tell me. I think I've got a right to know.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19You were out.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23He'd done this little drawing for you, you know, like he used to,
0:14:23 > 0:14:26of the view from his window, on a little card.
0:14:27 > 0:14:33Then he put it on the window sill and I seen it and picked it up and looked at it and...
0:14:36 > 0:14:37He'd written in it...
0:14:40 > 0:14:44He'd written, 'Thanks for being such a lovely wife'.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56And that's when he asked me to do it. He asked me to help him end it.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Put him out of his misery.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- And you just said yes? - Of course not.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06I fought with him and I begged him.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10But he was just so sweet.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15Cos he wasn't scared or angry. He was just...
0:15:18 > 0:15:22..wrung dry, Mum.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30So I got on the bed and we had a cuddle and, um...
0:15:30 > 0:15:33He just held me like he used to when I was little.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40But I could feel him, Mum. I could feel his arms and his ribs.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42He was stick thin, weren't he?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48He weren't like a man, it was...
0:15:48 > 0:15:51There was hardly nothing left of him.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53And I remember he put his arm round me
0:15:53 > 0:15:59and I could see this vein in his wrist, just pulsing.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04This bluey green vein and his white skin. It was just...
0:16:06 > 0:16:10..like it was almost too much effort to pump the blood round.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Then I looked in his face and he didn't look scared.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Just had these kind eyes.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28And I said I'd do it. I said I'd help him.
0:16:33 > 0:16:39So I, uh... I put a pillow under his head,
0:16:39 > 0:16:40and I made sure he was comfy and...
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I gave him a little kiss on the cheek.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Then I gave him the drugs.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50I did.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Way more than he should have had.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08And, uh...
0:17:09 > 0:17:13It was like nothing had happened.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17I remember the lights.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23I could see the lights from the flats opposite, just glittering.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27And I sat there for hours, just holding his hand.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Then I fell asleep and...
0:17:38 > 0:17:40..when I woke up, he'd gone.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46What happened to the card?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31I suddenly feel very old.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Very, very old.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40I'm sorry, Mum.
0:18:40 > 0:18:45No. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being who I am.
0:18:47 > 0:18:52Must've been a terrible burden for you, having me as a mother.
0:18:54 > 0:19:01- He loved you. Right till the end. - And I loved him in my own way.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05I never loved anyone like I loved him.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11And he DID love me.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18He loved me for exactly who I was.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Never any criticism.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27You couldn't make him up, your Dad.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32He never said a cruel word.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Look at you.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45A mother and a wife. With all this.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Look what you've become.
0:19:48 > 0:19:54- Even lumbered with me, you're still a success.- I'm not a success, Mum.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Course you are. Three kids. A man who loves you.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01No, there's no man. I messed that up years ago.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Make no mistake. Max loves you.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08He loves you right down to his fingernails.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10For all his faults, he's the one for you.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13And if you want, he'll be there for you.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Look, what we talked about.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21You don't mention it to anyone.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Put this away.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30For safekeeping. I might like to look at it now and again.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37I'll handle Rainie.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Where are you going, Mum?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Downstairs.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Come on, get up.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Straighten up.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Chin up.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Look at you.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01Look at you.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Look how beautiful you are.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Your got your Dad's eyes, girl.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11He would've been proud of you.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13He would.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14As long as you do one thing.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18- What's that?- You fight this.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21You go back to the hospital.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22For your kids.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23For me.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25For yourself.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Will you do that?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Yeah, she's gonna do that, Cora.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35I'm gonna make sure of it.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Listen to this man.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39He knows what he's talking about.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Me and him.
0:21:41 > 0:21:46We ain't leaving you for a minute, not till you're well,
0:21:46 > 0:21:51up and about, giving us orders, telling me where to bin me fags.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Understand?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I ain't gonna lose you an' all.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Don't let me down, Max.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07I'm relying on you.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- Well?- The girl needs to rest. We can talk to her tomorrow.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24What about what she said?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28You don't mention that to anyone. You hear me? It never happened.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29But...
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Shhh. I need a cigarette.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Nothing like a crisis to bring a family together, eh?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yeah.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54You know, I often think about our dalliance at Tanya's wedding.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57How sweet that was.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00I don't remember.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20About time.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Right, now, take this.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Now, there's a bus station round the corner.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Go back to Leyton.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34I thought we were going to Manchester.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Well, you thought wrong, didn't ya? Go on, on your way.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39Move!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Derek.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47What you doing? You going?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49No. What gave you that idea?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52I ain't going nowhere. Not till Max is sorted.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54I got a responsibility, as the eldest.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Now we have gotta pull together and get our boy through this.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01All together. Like a proper family.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05The Brannings, together again at last, eh?
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Yes? Yes? Come here.
0:24:08 > 0:24:09It'll be like old times.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19You OK?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24What I said about my Dad...
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Nah, it'll keep.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29We'll talk about it tomorrow.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- Tomorrow?- Yeah. Or the day after that.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36- What d'you mean?- Well, it's like Cora says. I'm sticking around.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42And you, madam, you're gonna go back to the hospital.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45We're gonna get you well.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52What about your friend? The blonde?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55That's not my friend.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57It's Derek's.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01I ain't been near another woman.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Don't feel sorry for me, Max.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I don't.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19I love you, Tanya.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23I do, I love you.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Just like I always have.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29If you'd told me, I never would have gone away.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35I would have stuck by your side every minute of the day.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Out of duty?
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Out of love.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50You are as beautiful to me now as you ever have been.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56- What, you don't you believe me?- No.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01I'm just so tired.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Well, lie down.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09Go on. Just lie down.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31What are you doing?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I'm lying down.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36In my bed.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Next to my wife.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- I'm not your wife, though. - Well, you are in here.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50You never stopped being my wife.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Not for a minute.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57Feels right, don't it?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Just you and me.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Why don't you lean on me?
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Go on, lean on me. Go on. It's not that difficult.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20How does that feel?
0:27:21 > 0:27:23It's all right.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26It's nice.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Feels good, don't it?
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Feels good.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37I ain't leaving you, ever.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Do you understand?
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Even if you ask me to.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Then I won't ask.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12What's that?
0:28:12 > 0:28:14It's my wedding ring.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Never could bring myself to throw it away.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22Don't look bad, does it?
0:28:24 > 0:28:25Looks perfect.
0:28:29 > 0:28:30Go to sleep, Tan.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35I'm gonna hold you all night.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Everything's gonna be all right.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Is it?
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Yeah, course.
0:28:51 > 0:28:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media
0:28:52 > 0:28:55E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk