03/05/2012

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0:00:46 > 0:00:49- We've got some samples from the caterers coming this afternoon.- OK.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53Only I can't even try them, cos they're shellfish and soft cheese.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55That's a killer. Listeria, innit?

0:00:55 > 0:00:56PHONE RINGS

0:00:56 > 0:01:00What does she want? It's the events organiser from Gormley Manor.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01OK, I'll...

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Janine Butcher.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Sorry? No, I think that was paid for yesterday.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- I don't know. When did you pay for...? - Why don't you let me tell her?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Hello, it's Michael Moon.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Erm, well, you need to speak to your staff occasionally,

0:01:16 > 0:01:19because I paid yesterday. I spoke to a woman. Some woman...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20Michael, what?

0:01:20 > 0:01:24It's fine, it's fine. On the desk. On the reception.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Yeah, do that. In future don't ring my fiancee,

0:01:26 > 0:01:29cos I'm dealing with this. Yes, me. Thank you very much.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34So fierce! I love it when you're angry.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Unbelievable. The ineptitude.

0:01:36 > 0:01:40They're going to sort it out, aren't they? We won't lose our reception?

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Yeah, it'll be fine, it'll be fine.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47I'll call them later, belts and braces, you know.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52That looks like a nice healthy breakfast.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54What's it got to do with you?

0:01:54 > 0:01:57We've got a kitchen full of good stuff - fruit, cereals.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Nope, I'd rather have a mouldy crust in the gutter, thanks.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Yeah, I can see that.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Premium State Room!

0:02:06 > 0:02:07- With our own balcony!- Yeah.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10Can you imagine just waking up in the morning

0:02:10 > 0:02:14and all you can see is blue sea and sky?

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Boring.- Yeah, you're not coming with us, are you? - THEY CHUCKLE

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Once you've got him on the bus can you take over here?

0:02:20 > 0:02:22- Well, Lucy's getting up... - She's got revision to do.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24I've got things to do, too.

0:02:24 > 0:02:28- Nothing that can't wait. I promise you, it won't always be like this.- Better not be.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31For better or worse - I'm looking forward to some of the "better".

0:02:31 > 0:02:34It's just around the corner. Have a good day at school, mate.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Come on, squirt.- See you. - Hiya. You all right?

0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Coffee to go, please? - Yeah, sure. Get a load of that.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Oh, yeah, yeah, I'd go for that.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45Have to win the lottery first, though, wouldn't you?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Have a chat with Max. It's not as pricey as you think.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51That's how they tempt you in, isn't it? Once they've got you...

0:02:51 > 0:02:56- Look - "West End On Water". - West End prices as well, you see.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Once you've paid for your spa treatments, your entertainment,

0:02:59 > 0:03:01all those designer shops.

0:03:01 > 0:03:05- You step out your cabin, that's 100 quid gone.- No, it's all inclusive. - Yeah, all right.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Make sure you top up your credit card before you go.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Argh! Oh!

0:03:13 > 0:03:16- You gave me a shock! - Sorry - just dropping these off.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19The business plan and spreadsheets, all the bumph.

0:03:19 > 0:03:20I thought I explained.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Oh, I know, but selfish consideration, Jean - personal to me.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27I need you to understand what it is

0:03:27 > 0:03:28you're turning down.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32I don't want you coming crying on my shoulder when the money starts rolling in.

0:03:34 > 0:03:35Um...

0:03:39 > 0:03:42I know what, let's have lunch. Let's have a proper business lunch.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44On expenses.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49"Let's do lunch!" That's what they say, isn't it?

0:03:49 > 0:03:50Do they?

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Um...

0:03:52 > 0:03:56Well, um, if you're sure...

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Oh, I'm very sure.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Let me take those, stop you lugging them about, cumbersome things.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04Good - one o'clock? Argee Bhajee? Yeah?

0:04:04 > 0:04:05Right.

0:04:09 > 0:04:14- All right, sloths.- Oh, nice one. Stick the kettle on, babe.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16What, so I do the shopping and now I make the tea?

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Girl power, man. You go, girl!

0:04:18 > 0:04:22- No. I don't think so.- Actually, two sugars for me as well, please.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24No! I said I don't think so!

0:04:24 > 0:04:26Oh, ignore the children.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Did you get any bread?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32I am sick of buying stuff for you lot.

0:04:32 > 0:04:36I told you not to take the mickey. She's not here to clean up after you.

0:04:36 > 0:04:40Thank you, Anthony. See, at least someone round here is grown up.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Oh. "Thanks, Anthony. You're so wonderful, Anthony."- Shut up.

0:04:43 > 0:04:45And how come no-one's taken the rubbish out AGAIN?

0:04:45 > 0:04:48She forgot, mate. You know, it happens.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50- No biggie. - Me? Why me? OK, listen to me.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Listen to me, I'm going to make a rota.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Who does what when.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Caff? - Yeah, backing that one, brother.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01OK, but seriously I'm not doing anything else for you lot.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04I am going on strike!

0:05:04 > 0:05:08You're offering it as an all-inclusive holiday, right?

0:05:08 > 0:05:11An all-inclusive cruise, is that correct, yeah?

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Right, what about spa treatments, and the on-shore excursions?

0:05:15 > 0:05:18You see - that's it. That's where you've misled me, OK?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Now, I could take you to court for this, and don't think I won't!

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Sorry. Sorry, I'm coming, I'm coming!

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Bobby forgot his reading book, I had to go back for it.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28It's OK. Look, I've got to go.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30- I'll be back about six, yeah? - Right, OK. See you.

0:05:30 > 0:05:31Kiss?

0:05:37 > 0:05:39# Happy birthday to you

0:05:39 > 0:05:42# Happy birthday, dear Pops

0:05:42 > 0:05:45# Happy birthday to you! #

0:05:45 > 0:05:46Blow it out, then. Go on.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51- So, what are you doing today? - Well, let's see -

0:05:51 > 0:05:52working,

0:05:52 > 0:05:54and then working...

0:05:54 > 0:05:56What's the other thing?

0:05:56 > 0:05:59Oh, yeah, that's it - working!

0:05:59 > 0:06:01And having tea with me and your kids.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04- You what?- Yeah, all arranged. Birthday tea at Honey's.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06- No, we're not.- Yeah, we are.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09We've got to take everything for the party, so you better go shopping.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13What with? You know I've got to give Janine the money that I owe her.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Yeah, but party time first, though?

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Luce...

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Ee-ee.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25I'm really sorry to disturb your revision and that, but...well...

0:06:25 > 0:06:29it's only me serving and I've got an appointment at the health centre.

0:06:29 > 0:06:30Change it.

0:06:33 > 0:06:34OK.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Right, I'll be honest with you.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41It's, uh... This is difficult.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44It's my mum.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47She's in hospital. They won't tell me anything. Not on the phone.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50So?

0:06:50 > 0:06:51I'm all she's got.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Please.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59- When?- This afternoon?

0:07:00 > 0:07:01You owe me.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08- I can't ask you to do that. - You haven't - I've offered.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12They may be your grandchildren, but they're my family, too.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Let me pay up all the final demands, give you a bit of a breather.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19And no strings?

0:07:19 > 0:07:20How could you even ask?

0:07:20 > 0:07:23- And you still don't want to move in? - No, I don't.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25If it was just up to me it'd be OK, but you know what the kids...

0:07:25 > 0:07:27I don't want nothing in return.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31- Yeah?- Just let me do this one thing for you, for once.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33I don't know what to say.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35You could start by saying...

0:07:37 > 0:07:39.."How about another whisky, big brother?"

0:07:39 > 0:07:41How about another whisky, big brother?

0:07:41 > 0:07:43Don't mind if I do.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49All I've got to do is talk to her, I get the Lauren death stare.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52It's not really what you say, it's the way you say it.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55What should I do, a little mime? Please...

0:07:55 > 0:07:58That's the other thing, you're always taking the mick. Stop it!

0:07:58 > 0:08:01I'm her dad. That's my job, innit.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04Anthony, do you know if Lauren's in?

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Yeah, she is. She loves a strop, don't she, that girl?

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Why, you been upsetting her?

0:08:09 > 0:08:13Well, no. She just likes getting upset all by herself, don't she? Like it's her special talent.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15See.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21I might pop in in a bit, take her a little peace offering.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27So Lola's promised Janet helium balloons, sparklers, the lot.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33Tell you what...happy birthday.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35- I can't take that. - Alfie, you're such a big softie!

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Come on, he puts enough behind the till. It's for the kids. Take it.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41- You're a good man, Alf.- He is.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43PHONE RINGS

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Same again in there for Derek, please.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- All right, darling.- Hello. Hello, darling.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Bianca?

0:08:51 > 0:08:53Oh, it's cut off.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Look who it is!

0:08:59 > 0:09:03- We thought you was never coming back.- Brother Billy!

0:09:03 > 0:09:04A rum on the house then, Paddy.

0:09:04 > 0:09:08- Give him one from me as well. One from me, too.- Man, it's so good to be back, you know.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Oh, right!

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Oh, no, no, no. I've got to work this afternoon.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17You'll be all right. Go on.

0:09:19 > 0:09:20Ready?

0:09:22 > 0:09:25This is what we've applied for.

0:09:25 > 0:09:26Yeah?

0:09:28 > 0:09:31- These are the funding bodies.- Right.

0:09:31 > 0:09:36And these are the dates when the money will be released to us.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Gosh.

0:09:39 > 0:09:43- Putting in a lot, aren't they? - They've got faith in us. And we're going to use that faith,

0:09:43 > 0:09:48you know, to get more kids... and that's going to get us more money...everyone's going to happy.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50I thought it was to help the community?

0:09:50 > 0:09:55Yeah, it is! Yeah, cos they're going to get free membership, free kit.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02This is really important, cos this is the funding that's going

0:10:02 > 0:10:04to come from the government and the council.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06So have a good read of that.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13It's all a bit over my head.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Yeah, I'm the same. What about this, then?

0:10:15 > 0:10:16These are the other funding sponsors.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20All the great and the good are there, you know.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Right.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Oh, I know him - he does that chat show, doesn't he?

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Yeah, yeah, that's him. Yeah.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33- It's such a lot of money. - It's a guaranteed return, Jean.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36It's a guaranteed return, and how often can you say that

0:10:36 > 0:10:40in this current climate of austerity? Investments collapsing everywhere.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41Oh, dear.

0:10:42 > 0:10:43Apart from this one!

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Cos In Your Corner is a sure thing.

0:10:50 > 0:10:51I need to think about it.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Yeah, yeah.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00I don't think I can. I'd like to. I'd really like to.

0:11:00 > 0:11:01But....it's just too big a risk.

0:11:09 > 0:11:10I understand.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14He worries about you, that's all. We all do.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17I mean, chocolate for breakfast!

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Does no-one ever clean this place?

0:11:21 > 0:11:24It's not your problem, Mum. Anyway I've got stuff to do.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Oh, right. Like what, recycling?

0:11:26 > 0:11:31- No, actually a job interview, if you must know!- Oh, lovely.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33What's that for, then?

0:11:33 > 0:11:34Why would I tell you?

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Do you always have to be so angry?

0:11:40 > 0:11:43We just want you home so that we can look after you.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47Yeah, you say that now, but you'd soon be kicking off and moaning.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50We'll try not to.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52We'll try really hard.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54I'm fine where I am, Mum.

0:11:55 > 0:11:59Right. Well, you know how we feel.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01So, when you're ready,

0:12:01 > 0:12:03any time...

0:12:07 > 0:12:08..come home.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12And eat some fruit.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37You all right, Mum? How you feeling?

0:12:37 > 0:12:40I told them, I didn't want you here.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50- They said you've been in terrible pain.- Well, they got that bit right.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54- What you after?- Nothing.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56I've just come to keep you company, that's all.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01When I'm that desperate, I'll get them to pull the plug.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08Well, you see, my heart went out to them children.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10I mean, I can see Carol's point of view,

0:13:10 > 0:13:14what with all the inoculations, the neutering. They don't come cheap.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Well then, you don't want the bother of it, do you, Dorothy?

0:13:16 > 0:13:19I did it for Bianca, really, you know,

0:13:19 > 0:13:21and so the children could come and see him.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24- But I could do without it. - Let me take it off your hands, then.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27What about the children - what am I going to say to them?

0:13:27 > 0:13:29You won't have to say anything to them.

0:13:29 > 0:13:33It'll be waiting for them when they come home from school.

0:13:33 > 0:13:37- I'll take care of all the food and all the bits. - Derek, you're full of surprises!

0:13:37 > 0:13:40May God bless you for your goodness of heart.

0:13:40 > 0:13:45Now, I'll just go and finish cleaning his litter tray, you know, cos he's got a bit of a runny tummy.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Look at you, sorting my life out, eh.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Yes. Every Alfie needs a little Jean.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Just working my way through.

0:14:03 > 0:14:07- Got a kind of nice balance to it though, eh? Bad money doin' good. - How's it bad?

0:14:07 > 0:14:12- Well, no, no, I don't mean bad. I just mean - a little bit Derek, that's all.- Derek?

0:14:12 > 0:14:16Yeah, I know it's a bit naughty, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18- And are you?- Am I what?

0:14:18 > 0:14:21- Desperate?- Desperate Dan's got nothing on me, sweetheart.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25No, I'm joking. Of course, I'm just winding you up.

0:14:25 > 0:14:30Don't worry your pretty little head. You're doing a great job, darling. Thanks, sweetheart.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Does he know you're here, then, sad sack?

0:14:40 > 0:14:43Ian? Yeah, course, he said I could come.

0:14:43 > 0:14:48Why? Does he think I'm going to leave him some money or something?

0:14:48 > 0:14:50I'm not a hopeless case yet.

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Course not.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55But I am ill, Mand.

0:14:55 > 0:14:59Proper ill this time. It ain't just the drink.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Yeah, I know, the nurse said.

0:15:02 > 0:15:06They say it's one of the worst pains you can have, pancreatitis.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10I woke up in the middle of the night and I was crying.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Mum, I'm so sorry. I should have been here.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16They gave me an injection straight away.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17Good. That's good.

0:15:22 > 0:15:23Mum, I just...

0:15:25 > 0:15:29I just wish, like, we could be like other mums and daughters, you know.

0:15:30 > 0:15:31Hugs and stuff.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40We are what we are.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Have to make the most of it.

0:15:47 > 0:15:51Seafood, shellfish, gateaux, everything. And it has all got to be eaten today.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54- I don't feel very well. So, can you get someone else to do it?- Yeah.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58You can tell Carol that I offered to fill the whole tribe and you turned me down.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Look, there's caviar, custard, or should I say creme anglaise?

0:16:03 > 0:16:07Hi, sexy. Hey, you should be at the tasting, too.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09It is your wedding as well.

0:16:09 > 0:16:10No, you're all right.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13Just make sure you keep this evening clear, please.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Why?- We're going to Gormley Manor, try and sort out the confusion.

0:16:16 > 0:16:20- There's no need. I've taken care of it.- I'd like to make sure, sort it face-to-face.

0:16:20 > 0:16:21Why? I've just done it.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Right, Joey's your cat now, OK?

0:16:31 > 0:16:33So it's down to you two to look after him.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35- We will.- Good.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Come on, let's see if he's hungry.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42I love you, Uncle Derek.

0:16:43 > 0:16:45I love you, too, mate.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Go on.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52- What?- I don't hate you no more.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02We've got a rotten little box room, too much noise,

0:17:02 > 0:17:07terrible food, a cat with a dodgy tummy, too many kids

0:17:07 > 0:17:09and you'll never get in the bathroom.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11you still interested?

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Sounds all right to me.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16- You sure?- I'm sure.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23If I could find a lease, would that be security?

0:17:24 > 0:17:27OK, how about a car? A car?

0:17:27 > 0:17:29Could I raise a loan against...?

0:17:29 > 0:17:32No, you're advertising loans for unemployed - right.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34- Not self-employed!- Oi.

0:17:36 > 0:17:37You got a problem?

0:17:37 > 0:17:40No. No. Nothing I can't handle.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51What do you think?

0:17:51 > 0:17:54It's nice. I tell you what, if I was doing the interview, I'd make you manager.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Ah, thank you!

0:17:56 > 0:17:58All right?

0:17:58 > 0:18:00- All right. Oi, Lauren's got an interview.- Nice one.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Yeah! It's at the bike shop. I spent my last £5 on this top.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06- DOOR OPENS - Watch out, watch out! - What you doing?

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Bruv, bruv, I'm in the den!

0:18:08 > 0:18:10- No, no...- Bruv, bruv!- Outside!

0:18:10 > 0:18:11What are you doing?!

0:18:13 > 0:18:15What are you DOING?!

0:18:15 > 0:18:17You stupid, immature idiot!

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Oops.

0:18:19 > 0:18:20Not funny.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23You know what, the wet look's good on you. I'm just saying,

0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Lauren, it looks nice. - Shut up. Go! Go!

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Salmon and dill?

0:18:28 > 0:18:30What's the verdict?

0:18:30 > 0:18:31Hang on.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34- Are we taking some of this for Mum tomorrow?- No.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38They get a bit funny, don't they? Sometimes...

0:18:38 > 0:18:42- Um, so salmon and dill? Come on. - Is that what Joey's eating?

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Oh, great. This is brilliant.

0:18:45 > 0:18:50How about the...mini-Caesar salad things?

0:18:50 > 0:18:52What about that? What did you have, Whit?

0:18:53 > 0:18:54It's going well so far.

0:18:54 > 0:18:58Oh, look. Joey likes the black fishy stuff.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01- Caviar! Get that thing off my caviar!- No, no!

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Why don't you scurry back to him?

0:19:09 > 0:19:12That shabby little man obviously means more to you than I do.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Let's not start all this again, eh, Mum?

0:19:14 > 0:19:17I almost feel sorry for him, you know.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21When you going to walk out on this one, eh? When he's broke,

0:19:21 > 0:19:23or when the scales fall from his eyes

0:19:23 > 0:19:26and he sees you for who you really are?

0:19:27 > 0:19:28It's not going to happen, Mum.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31This time it's for keeps.

0:19:31 > 0:19:35And I'm going to do everything I can to make it work.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39- So, um...- So what?

0:19:39 > 0:19:41So now you're on the mend...

0:19:41 > 0:19:45- Who says I am? - You're looking much better, Mum. The doctors are taking good care of you.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49..you don't really need me.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52You're turning your back on me again, ain't ya? I can't believe it.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55I can't risk losing Ian!

0:19:56 > 0:19:58I'm going, Mum.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Good. Go on, get out of here. I'm sick of the sight of you!

0:20:01 > 0:20:03I'll phone, all right.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Don't bother. I don't want you.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08I've never even liked you.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12All right, Mum, if that's how it is.

0:20:12 > 0:20:16You know, even when you was a sweet little toddler, I didn't like you.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21I remember the first time they put you in my arms,

0:20:21 > 0:20:23I didn't feel no love for you.

0:20:24 > 0:20:25Unlovable.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29I look at you...

0:20:30 > 0:20:32..and I just can't love you.

0:20:58 > 0:21:03See, when you go looking for romance, things go wrong,

0:21:03 > 0:21:07then all of a sudden a nice romantic evening just creeps up on you.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Oh! Right, well you put the telly on, I'll get the wine.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13- Few nibbles.- And some nibbles. Are these the nibbles?

0:21:13 > 0:21:17BANGING ON DOOR Mum! Let me in. I'm soaking!

0:21:17 > 0:21:19It's not raining, is it?

0:21:23 > 0:21:26If you laugh, then I go straight back.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Nobody's laughing at you. We're not laughing, are we?

0:21:31 > 0:21:33What's happened?

0:21:33 > 0:21:36They sprayed me with beer, Mum.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38They was all laughing like hyenas.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40I'm going to kill them.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Yeah, course you are, darling. Run her a bath.

0:21:42 > 0:21:45- I'm not running her a bath, she can run her own bath.- Max!

0:21:45 > 0:21:48I had an interview at the bike shop and look at me!

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Oh, darling. Want a damp little hug? Shall we have a damp little hug?

0:21:51 > 0:21:55- Come here.- Oh, great. Now two of you smell like a brewery.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59I wondered how long it would take - Dad's first moan.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03You are a bit smelly.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04I know.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08- Eating again are you, Jack? Three nights on the bounce? - Steak and chips, please.

0:22:08 > 0:22:12Yeah, well, if I make anything at home and Derek's there, he's on my shoulder like a gannet.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14All right?

0:22:14 > 0:22:16- See what I mean?- What?

0:22:16 > 0:22:18You see this bag?

0:22:18 > 0:22:21I, little brother, am moving out

0:22:21 > 0:22:24to someone who appreciates a tidy house guest.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Oh, yeah? Who'd be daft enough to take you on?

0:22:26 > 0:22:28- Happy birthday, Pops.- Thank you.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33The Mitchells, see? All right, birthday boy, what you ever achieved in life?

0:22:33 > 0:22:34Enough.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Here I am having a nice drink with my lovely granddaughter,

0:22:37 > 0:22:40having been to a party with Honey and my kids.

0:22:40 > 0:22:43Whereas you...you've got a face that could curdle beer.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45LAUGHTER

0:22:46 > 0:22:50I might not own anything, Beale, but I don't owe nothing neither.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52I'm a very happy man.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55So, if anyone's a loser round here, it is you, sunshine.

0:22:55 > 0:22:59Ah, Paddy, I bet you've missed this banter in the pub, ain't you?

0:22:59 > 0:23:02No. I miss my two ladies, though.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04To Pat and Heather.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06God rest their souls.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09Let's all talk about death and dying, shall we?

0:23:09 > 0:23:12All the fun of a mortuary. At least I try and enjoy my life!

0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Try one.- No, will you stop now? I don't want to taste anything.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21Don't give it to her if she doesn't feel very well.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Oh. Joey's been sick on the remote.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25Oh, no!

0:23:25 > 0:23:27Oh, welcome to the chaos!

0:23:27 > 0:23:29- What's he doing here?- Whit!

0:23:29 > 0:23:31- What's that smell?- That's cat sick.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34And caviar. Gran said it's 40 quid a lick.

0:23:34 > 0:23:37That's it. I'm packing up. Whitney, can you please pass me that box?

0:23:39 > 0:23:43And careful. Don't knock the crispy crab parcels!

0:23:43 > 0:23:45You all right, Whitney.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47- What's wrong?- Whitney!

0:23:49 > 0:23:51- You like pushing it, don't you? - I'm sorry, Lucy.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54You know, Dad's going to be back any minute.

0:23:55 > 0:23:56Has something...?

0:23:58 > 0:24:01- Is your mum all right?- Mmm-hmm.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03Yeah, she's fine.

0:24:03 > 0:24:04Thanks for that, go on.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09- You've been crying.- No!

0:24:10 > 0:24:13No way. Wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16- Old witch.- Yeah.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21Should be used to it by now, shouldn't I?

0:24:22 > 0:24:24- You all right, you two?- Yeah.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29- Is that it?- What's wrong?

0:24:29 > 0:24:31Is this all you've taken today?

0:24:31 > 0:24:34D'you know what, that is just fantastic. That's just great!

0:24:34 > 0:24:39- You think the money fairy comes in and pays the bills, don't you? - Dad! What's happened?

0:24:41 > 0:24:43What the hell? Who cares?

0:24:43 > 0:24:46Billy Mitchell's been winding me up, stupid little runt.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51You're sure you're feel better?

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It was just the smell, and it was hot.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57Right, I'm just going to pack up.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00You made a right botch job of that ceiling, didn't you?

0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Thank you.- Well, we couldn't afford a professional.

0:25:03 > 0:25:06Oh, and I suppose you think I should pay for that?

0:25:06 > 0:25:09- You are the landlord.- All right.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Well, I'll get it done, then.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14I suppose.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16- Good. Not before time. - Don't push your luck.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20I'll go and get you some water.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26Argh!

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Crispy crab parcels.

0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Cat sick! - HE LAUGHS

0:25:36 > 0:25:39And caviar. Blimey!

0:25:39 > 0:25:42- We shouldn't laugh, she is trying to be nice. - No, we shouldn't laugh, no.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44PHONE RINGS

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Hello? Oh, hello, sweetheart.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50Hey, whoa, whoa, slow down!

0:25:50 > 0:25:52- Will you just stop crying? - What is it?

0:25:52 > 0:25:57Bianca, just slow down, I can't make sense of what you're saying, eh?

0:25:58 > 0:25:59What?

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Oh, no. Hang on, hang on. Let me tell Whit, she's just here.

0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Let me speak to her. - They've transferred her miles away to Suffolk.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10- They can't do that.- They've done it already. You still there, darling?

0:26:10 > 0:26:13- But I need her!- Listen, listen, we will come tomorrow...

0:26:13 > 0:26:16Listen, tomorrow, all of us, OK?

0:26:16 > 0:26:19I'll call and get all the details.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21All right, now listen. Don't you worry, OK?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23All right, darling, bye.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30- RADIO:- # But I have to go

0:26:30 > 0:26:34# And it breaks my heart to say

0:26:34 > 0:26:38# But I can't stop now

0:26:38 > 0:26:41# I've got troubles of my own

0:26:41 > 0:26:46# Cos I'm short on time... #

0:26:46 > 0:26:49But I have to look after Alfie's interests, don't I?

0:26:49 > 0:26:51Yeah.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Jean, don't worry about it.

0:26:53 > 0:26:57Not everybody's cut out for high finance. It's risky.

0:26:57 > 0:27:00Keep your money safe under your mattress, don't worry. It's fine.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05- But I want you to have it! - You've got it here?

0:27:05 > 0:27:10- Yes. Yes. It was cash you wanted, wasn't it?- Yeah.

0:27:10 > 0:27:11But...

0:27:11 > 0:27:13No buts, Michael!

0:27:17 > 0:27:19I have to do this, for Kat and Alfie.

0:27:19 > 0:27:21You do realise, though,

0:27:21 > 0:27:24you're not going to see this for a good couple of months, yeah?

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Two months. That's fine.

0:27:27 > 0:27:30But don't tell Alfie I've taken the money.

0:27:30 > 0:27:31I don't want him to know just yet.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37I'm not so sure about this, Jean.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40Well, I am, Michael.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43I am, now. And you'll be giving me

0:27:43 > 0:27:46all the paperwork to make it official, won't you?

0:27:46 > 0:27:49Yeah, yeah, not a problem.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51Well...

0:27:53 > 0:27:54..take it...

0:27:56 > 0:27:58..and work your magic.

0:27:59 > 0:28:00Please.

0:28:02 > 0:28:03I'll do my best.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd