04/07/2012

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0:00:24 > 0:00:25Right, lads.

0:00:25 > 0:00:29From this moment, I don't want you to think of me as Kat Moon,

0:00:29 > 0:00:30landlady of the Queen Vic,

0:00:30 > 0:00:31but The Guv'nor.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34You know why Sir Alex Ferguson's so successful, don't ya?

0:00:34 > 0:00:37- He ain't got a pair of these! - Derek?!

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Sorry, Derek, what was that?

0:00:38 > 0:00:42I'm just saying, can you name me any other female managers, Kat?

0:00:42 > 0:00:43Oh, right.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Derek seems to think that me being a good looking bird

0:00:45 > 0:00:46is going to put you boys off.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49If you think you're going to struggle with that,

0:00:49 > 0:00:51I suggest you walk out that door right now.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58No? Good.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Because, as the GUV'NOR...

0:01:00 > 0:01:03I want you to go out there and show some passion.

0:01:03 > 0:01:04Some guts.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- And I want you to bring back the win. do you think you can do that? - Come- on,- boys!

0:01:07 > 0:01:09What was that?

0:01:09 > 0:01:14I've heard louder mosquitoes! I said, do you think you can do that?

0:01:14 > 0:01:15THEY ALL CHEER

0:01:17 > 0:01:18Like your style, Kat.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Very nice.

0:01:22 > 0:01:23Kat.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27You know, if winning is so important to you,

0:01:27 > 0:01:29how come you're subbing your lethal weapon?

0:01:29 > 0:01:34Because it also happens to have a dangerously large ego!

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Oh-ho-ho-ho!

0:01:36 > 0:01:37Assertive women. Love 'em.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40- Mate, she kills me. - Right, the bus leaves in five.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42So make sure everyone's been to the little boys' room

0:01:42 > 0:01:43and then we'll set off.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46- That's right, boys.- Oi.- What?

0:01:46 > 0:01:49- How did I do?- Darling, I gotta say, you were fantastic.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51Seriously. And if I didn't have to get on the bus,

0:01:51 > 0:01:55- I'd sneak you upstairs right now. - Alfie Moon, hold that thought.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56OK, give me a kiss.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Just wanted to see how you are.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04Fat. Bored. Stuck indoors.

0:02:04 > 0:02:05I love being 16.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10I tell you what, why don't I take you out for a drink?

0:02:10 > 0:02:11I thought you had football?

0:02:12 > 0:02:13Nah, I didn't get in.

0:02:13 > 0:02:17Yeah, yeah - you mean you only made the bench?

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Least you ain't in prison.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23- Come on, I've brought 'em now. - Don't want your blood gifts.

0:02:23 > 0:02:24You all right, Michael?

0:02:24 > 0:02:28- You think a few poxy shirts is going to get you back in with the family? - Let's have a look.

0:02:28 > 0:02:33- Oh, these are great. Thank you. - You're welcome.

0:02:35 > 0:02:36How's little Pat?

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Yeah, she's, you know, she's better.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41She's, she's a tenacious little thing, so...

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Had to come back and get more clothes

0:02:43 > 0:02:47cos her existing ones, they don't fit her. They're too big.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53If you need anything, yeah?

0:02:54 > 0:02:55Thank you, Kat.

0:02:57 > 0:02:58See ya.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02- Don't say it.- Well...

0:03:03 > 0:03:06- Where's Trace?- She's running late.

0:03:06 > 0:03:10- Great! She knows we've got a match and Jean's polishing her telescope! - Give it a rest!

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Here, have a look, what do you reckon?

0:03:12 > 0:03:15Yeah, add at the bottom, "Join us after to celebrate."

0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Feeling confident, ain't ya? - I am, yeah!

0:03:17 > 0:03:18Right, come on everybody, drink up!

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Let's go, we've got a football match to go to! Come on, The Vic!

0:03:21 > 0:03:24You know he's only on the bench, right?

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Well...not for long if Kat's got half a brain.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31So...what do you think?

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Funny, don't see them WAGs covered in face paints, do you?

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Grab me some baby wipes, would you, yeah?

0:03:43 > 0:03:46- Got one for me, darling? - Yep, here y'are.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Luke, you can stand in for Jay - seeing as he can't be bothered to turn up.

0:03:49 > 0:03:50Come on, Kat, man!

0:03:50 > 0:03:53No! It's Guv'nor.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56Do you reckon there'll be scouts there today?

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Yes, heard there's a spot on the England squad going.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01- And if you play really well, you might get signed up for a- real- pub league.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03- Sweet.- Here y'are.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07Remember what I told you about looking before you kick the ball.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09How many times? I told you, I tripped on a divot.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12- What's a divock? - A- divock- doesn't exist -

0:04:12 > 0:04:14much like Dad's imaginary divot.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17- All right, son, don't get cocky! - Yeah, Syed, don't mock the elderly.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19- Oi.- I'm only joking, Mas!

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Anyway, Alfie's the senior citizen of this team, ain't you, darling?

0:04:22 > 0:04:24Don't listen to her, Masood. We're still in our prime.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Come on, son, let's go. Come on the lads!

0:04:29 > 0:04:30- Hi, Alf.- All right?- All right?

0:04:30 > 0:04:33- All right?- Brought yourself to watch a girl's team, then?

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Gotta support my little brothers, ain't I?

0:04:35 > 0:04:38I been watching them since they were knee high, their little legs!

0:04:38 > 0:04:40DEREK LAUGHS

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Oi, Max Branning, what have I told you about smoking?

0:04:43 > 0:04:44All right, Miss.

0:04:44 > 0:04:48- Thought you was talking about on the pitch!- Ha-ha-ha(!) Get on the coach.

0:04:48 > 0:04:49Excuse me.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Anthony, hope this ain't one of yours.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56Oh, all right, darling?

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Oh, do me a fav...

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Oh, easy, easy! Easy!- Come off it!

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Oh, get in there, son!

0:05:03 > 0:05:05THEY CHEER

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Jealousy's an unattractive quality, boys.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Hope you're going to save some of that passion

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- in the tank for me, Jack.- Always.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16That mine?

0:05:16 > 0:05:18- Oh, yeah. Here y'are.- Thank you.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Right, come on then, driver. Let's go!

0:05:20 > 0:05:23THEY ALL CHANT

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Wait for us! Wait for us!

0:05:26 > 0:05:27Can we go home now?

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Kim don't give up that easy, you know.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34All right, come on.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49What, you just going to stand there?

0:05:51 > 0:05:52Get stuck in.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55PHIL CHUCKLES

0:06:02 > 0:06:04Dear, oh, dear.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Boys, get those legs up!

0:06:08 > 0:06:10This is like one of them naked-in-school dreams.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Vivienne Martinez - manager of the Old Lions.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Kathleen Moon, Queen Victoria.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20My lot could do with a break today.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21Excuse me?

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Don't worry, I'll tell them to go easy.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Yeah, if they want to get caught with their pants down.

0:06:30 > 0:06:35Right, lads, I want you to get out there and smash it!

0:06:35 > 0:06:37- Play dirty if necessary.- And I thought this was going to be boring!

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Go on, boys!

0:06:40 > 0:06:41Go on the boys!

0:06:41 > 0:06:43CROWD CHEERS AND SHOUTS

0:06:45 > 0:06:47One text, eh? What's so great about Costa Rica

0:06:47 > 0:06:49- that she can't spare the time for that?- I dunno, Jay.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Probably the hot Costa Rican boys. - You reckon?

0:06:52 > 0:06:53- Ugh!- What?

0:06:53 > 0:06:57You're supposed to be cheering me up, not the other way round!

0:07:08 > 0:07:11- What are you doing?- Keys...

0:07:11 > 0:07:14Want to add breaking and entering to your list of crimes as well?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16It's all right, I'll be at home and tucked up in bed

0:07:16 > 0:07:17by my eight o'clock curfew.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20Technically speaking, it's just entering.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28What about Shirley's Shack?

0:07:28 > 0:07:30I ain't selling cockles on the seafront.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32You got any better ideas?

0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Yeah, Beef Me Up! - PHIL LAUGHS

0:07:34 > 0:07:36What? I like it.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39What do you reckon, Ben? The name for my burger van?

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Dad, can I have a word?

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Don't you feel bad?

0:07:56 > 0:07:58It's Heather's birthday today and she ain't got a clue.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Yeah, and have you seen her? She's smiling.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03When was the last time you saw that, eh?

0:08:03 > 0:08:05It just don't feel right, you know? Not to mark it.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07And you need to move on as well, Ben.

0:08:10 > 0:08:11I think we should tell her.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Do you really think now is the time for honesty?

0:08:16 > 0:08:17Hmm?

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Do you?

0:08:23 > 0:08:25What was that?! What was that?!

0:08:25 > 0:08:28- That's it, I'm off!- Come on, lads!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32I've seen more passion in a retirement home!

0:08:33 > 0:08:38- Push forward!- Calm down, we're a team!- Come on then, boys! Come on!

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Jack! Jack! Whoa, whoa, whoa...!

0:08:40 > 0:08:42Hiya, you all right?

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Sorry we're late - Zainab was driving.

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Er, excuse me!

0:08:50 > 0:08:52You'd still be stuck on the Square if it wasn't for me.

0:08:52 > 0:08:53So how are we doing, babe?

0:08:53 > 0:08:56- 3-0.- Well, that's good. - To them.- What?

0:08:58 > 0:09:01'Ere, Kat, stick Ray on, man. He'll sort you out!

0:09:01 > 0:09:03She's got a point, y'know.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06- Know what I'm doing.- Listen, you got to start taking some risks.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08You ain't going to win the match by keeping your old man happy.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Yeah? Then how come he's about to score? COME ON, ALFIE!

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Go on, Alf! Go on, Alfie!

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Come on, come on!

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Go on!

0:09:19 > 0:09:21WHISTLE BLOWS

0:09:21 > 0:09:22THEY ALL SHOUT

0:09:23 > 0:09:26We got a penalty!

0:09:26 > 0:09:27THEY ALL CHEER Yes!

0:09:27 > 0:09:30- Come on, Ty.- No, it's all right, I'll take it. I'll take it.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32No, no, Alfie, let Tyler...

0:09:32 > 0:09:36- I'll take the penalty, all right? - Sure?- Yeah, it's all right. - You sure?- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39- Go on, Alfie!- Come on, Alfie! Come on!- Alfie, keep it low, yeah?

0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Come on, Alfie!- Come on!

0:09:41 > 0:09:43THEY ALL SHOUT AND CHEER

0:09:52 > 0:09:55- Oh, no!- Do me a favour!

0:09:57 > 0:10:00- Stick Ray on, man! - Chin up, Alf. Come on.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Pint of lager, please.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11You got any ID?

0:10:12 > 0:10:14I know, shall we make some cocktails?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Your baby don't stand a chance.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18For you, moron.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27They're making a mockery of our defence.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Masood, Syed - wake up!

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Mid-field - keep up the good work, Jack.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Safe hands? Yeah, right.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38If you tried to put your head in your hands, you'd miss!

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Max - plenty of teasing, not enough action. Don't hold back.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42Yes, boss.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45- Fat Boy.- Yes, your main man's right here.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Not enough teasing. You're rushing it.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Treat the ball like you would a woman.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Ty? Anthony?

0:10:54 > 0:10:57Yeah, say no more. Ray, you're in.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01Come on, you lot. Huddle up.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Come on! We're not losers! - Come on then, boys.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Right, what do I want to see?!

0:11:05 > 0:11:07- ALL SHOUT:- Passion!

0:11:07 > 0:11:10TEAM ALL SHOUT

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Sorry. Sorry, Alfie.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Hey, what are you talking about? Don't be silly.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18I'm well proud of you, ain't I?

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Come on, the lads, keep your heads up, let's have it...

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Voila.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37That tastes like toilet water.

0:11:37 > 0:11:38That what you drink round yours?

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Here, wait, who am I?

0:11:40 > 0:11:42"Darlin', I made ya that cocktail,

0:11:42 > 0:11:44"so you either better drink up and pay up

0:11:44 > 0:11:47"or take your skinny little butt and get out of my pub."

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Kat?

0:11:49 > 0:11:50KEYS JINGLING

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Get out the back. Get out the back. Quick, quick!

0:11:53 > 0:11:56CROWD SHOUTING

0:12:04 > 0:12:08Go on, Ray! Go on.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12Go on! Go on!

0:12:12 > 0:12:15CROWD CHEER AND APPLAUD

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Well done, boys. Well done!

0:12:23 > 0:12:27Give me a R... R! Give me a A... A!

0:12:27 > 0:12:31- WHISTLE BLOWING - Unlucky, boys. Well played, boys.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33- Well played.- Well played.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Almost had me worried there.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Congratulations.- Cheers. - Yeah, well done.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44- You want to bring the boys back to The Vic?- Thanks, might just do that.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Lovely. Well done, Jack.

0:12:47 > 0:12:51Don't worry. We'll wipe that smile off her face next time, eh?

0:12:51 > 0:12:53First round on you then, Guv, eh?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Yeah. THEY LAUGH

0:13:14 > 0:13:17RADIO PLAYS

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Won't budge - must be something wedged up against it!

0:13:27 > 0:13:30Cos you ain't pushing hard enough. Get out the way, gimme a go!

0:13:34 > 0:13:36So what do we do now, then?

0:14:00 > 0:14:03..like Chris Waddle, weren't it? Italia '90. Broke my heart.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Yes, mate, yes.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07So tell us, Alfie, when you were taking aim,

0:14:07 > 0:14:08was it the goals you were lining up

0:14:08 > 0:14:10or that plane that was flying above it?

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Tell me, Jack, when you missed the open goal,

0:14:12 > 0:14:14- were you frightened you were going to mess your hair up?- Get out of it!

0:14:14 > 0:14:18Your face, though, your face, Alfie, was a picture... "Ooh!"

0:14:18 > 0:14:20Is that supposed to be me, or a dying slug,

0:14:20 > 0:14:23- or is that just your face?- No, no, this was you, Alfie... "Whey!"

0:14:23 > 0:14:26What about when you missed the open header in the second half?

0:14:26 > 0:14:29- You were like that...- Oi, don't try putting it back onto him.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32- We ain't going to let you forget this!- At least he had the guts to stand and take it.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35- I didn't see any of you lot offering. - No, I offered. I offered.- He did.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38- I'm proud of him for giving it a go. - At least his missus still loves him.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40But I bet he ain't getting any tonight!

0:14:40 > 0:14:43- He's got more chance than you, Derek!- Ahh!

0:14:43 > 0:14:45First round's on me, Trace!

0:14:45 > 0:14:46THEY ALL CHEER

0:14:46 > 0:14:49- ALL CHANT:- We love you, Kat Moon, we do.

0:14:49 > 0:14:53We love you, Kat Moon, we do. We love you, Kat Moon, we do...

0:14:53 > 0:14:57All right! Shh, calm down, let Mrs Moon talk, thank you.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Right, your attention for a moment, please.

0:15:00 > 0:15:05Right, first off, I'd like to congratulate the Old Lions on their victory, fair and square.

0:15:05 > 0:15:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:06 > 0:15:10But seeing as this is my pub,

0:15:10 > 0:15:12the man of the match award is decided by me.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15So, step up, Mr Ray Dixon!

0:15:15 > 0:15:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Almost saved us from the jaws of defeat - next time, eh, Ray?

0:15:24 > 0:15:26OK, now that's my man, OK!

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Read and weep - he's coming home!

0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Go on, Ray.- Someone else who caught my attention on the field today -

0:15:33 > 0:15:38Legs of the Match goes to Mr Jack Branning!

0:15:38 > 0:15:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Thank you very much.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46I just want to say a big thank you to my mother and father

0:15:46 > 0:15:48- for the lovely genes. - What, these ones?- Yeah, these ones.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51Apologies to my brothers, you know, for taking all the best bits.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54- Oi, oi, oi, shut up! - Sit down, sit down!

0:15:54 > 0:15:58But most of all, I want to thank my brilliant team for doing me so proud.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01So, kick back and have a good time!

0:16:01 > 0:16:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Oi, big foot, watch your legs. - All right!

0:16:17 > 0:16:20- Smells nice. - Yep, none for you, though.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Impressive skills on the pitch today.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23You ever played professionally?

0:16:23 > 0:16:25You're kidding, right? He's ancient!

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Oi, what do you mean, "ancient"? Go and stick a tune on the jukebox.

0:16:28 > 0:16:29Go on.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Nah, nah, cooking's my thing. - Well, we could do with a chef too.

0:16:35 > 0:16:36Too?

0:16:37 > 0:16:40The Old Lion, Dalston...

0:16:40 > 0:16:43we're missing a good man up front.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49You know, I'm flattered, really, but...I'm happy here. Thanks.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51What a shame.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54Oi, you trying to poach my team?

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Lucky for you he's loyal.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06Glad you know which side your bread's buttered.

0:17:06 > 0:17:07Well, I'm glad you realised

0:17:07 > 0:17:10the goldmine standing right in front of you.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Shame it took you so long.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14You might be a decent player, but if you're not playing for the team

0:17:14 > 0:17:16you might as well be scoring own goals.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Kim might think you're God's gift

0:17:18 > 0:17:20but if you believe every word that comes out of her gob,

0:17:20 > 0:17:23you'll be falling on that handsome face of yours.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26Yeah, all right, Guv. Point taken.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29- This done, yeah?- No, no...

0:17:29 > 0:17:30Ooh!

0:17:30 > 0:17:32Quick, quick, quick - run it under cold water.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39Sorry.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41Don't be.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44I'll just take these, yeah?

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Alfie's right there, we'll just have to wait.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02What time is it? My battery's dead.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Jay, just tell me. Jay!

0:18:08 > 0:18:0920 to eight.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Fantastic, just great(!) - What? This weren't my idea!

0:18:12 > 0:18:13I'm 16 - having my first baby in a prison.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Don't be daft, I'll get you out of here. I just...

0:18:16 > 0:18:17How? We're stuck.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21I'm going to be a rubbish mum, ain't I?

0:18:21 > 0:18:23What? Where'd that come from?

0:18:25 > 0:18:27You'll be amazing, Lo.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Why?

0:18:37 > 0:18:40Because...you're young...

0:18:40 > 0:18:42so you'll remember exactly how she's feeling...

0:18:43 > 0:18:45..you'll give her great advice...

0:18:45 > 0:18:49you're fun, so she'll never get bored...

0:18:49 > 0:18:51you're smart...

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- although you wouldn't necessarily think that now!- Shut up!

0:18:56 > 0:19:00Seriously, she's a really lucky kid.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07It's women like her who give football a bad name.

0:19:07 > 0:19:11- I bet she's too busy hitching up her wotsits to learn the offside rule. - THEY LAUGH

0:19:11 > 0:19:13Back in a bit, boys.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Excuse me a minute.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18Haven't you got your own pub to go to?

0:19:18 > 0:19:20- Allow me.- What are you doing?

0:19:23 > 0:19:27No-one, but no-one, talks about the Guv'nor like that.

0:19:27 > 0:19:28Especially in own her pub.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Got a soft spot, have we?

0:19:32 > 0:19:34I'll tell your team to follow ya.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38Babe, why don't you just come down?

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Yeah, course there's women down there.

0:19:40 > 0:19:41Well, Kat, Kim...

0:19:44 > 0:19:47All right, yeah, fair enough. See you at home.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50Tanya, when was the last time I ate a kebab?

0:19:50 > 0:19:51All right, I'll see you later.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55What are you doing out here?

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Not a lot. Skulking.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00What's that when it's at home?

0:20:00 > 0:20:02Bit of leaning, bit of this.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Yeah, that's it.

0:20:10 > 0:20:14SHE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

0:20:14 > 0:20:15You're a rubbish skulker.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Oi, you!

0:20:19 > 0:20:21So, what's wrong with my legs?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24They're just a bit, erm... SHE LAUGHS

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Careful, you got a man's ego at stake here.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28..pasty.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Good shape, though, ain't they?

0:20:31 > 0:20:34Yeah, they're all right, I'll give you that.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38- Yours ain't bad either.- Oh, yeah?

0:20:43 > 0:20:44You finished?

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Your glass.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51Not yet.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56And for your information, I did get picked for the football team,

0:20:56 > 0:20:58I just chose to do athletics instead. I did!

0:20:58 > 0:21:02Nothing to do with the fact you were scared of the other boys towering over you?

0:21:02 > 0:21:05Being a late developer's nothing to be ashamed of, Syed.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Yeah, well, he's certainly made up for that now.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Kat, darling, can you change the barrel please, darling?

0:21:11 > 0:21:12Great(!)

0:21:25 > 0:21:28Let me do that for you, Kat?

0:21:30 > 0:21:32You don't like a lady getting her hands dirty?

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Well, excuse me for being the white knight.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36That Vivienne...

0:21:38 > 0:21:41..was she bad-mouthing me?

0:21:41 > 0:21:44You don't have to worry about women like that, Kat.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47She's not a patch on you.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53I ain't the kind of girl that needs a white knight...

0:21:53 > 0:21:55but thank you, Derek.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01You all right? You got my text, then? They're upstairs.

0:22:02 > 0:22:03- Derek.- Michael.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21PHONE RINGS

0:22:23 > 0:22:24Derek Branning.

0:22:25 > 0:22:28Hello, mate. How are you?

0:22:28 > 0:22:31Yeah, long time no see.

0:22:31 > 0:22:32How's tricks?

0:22:34 > 0:22:38- Just a few booties and vests. Most of it's pretty unisex.- Yeah.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43That's kind, thanks.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Oh... They're still a bit big, though.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Well, keep 'em.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55You'll be glad of 'em in a couple of months.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56Yeah?

0:23:01 > 0:23:04She's going to be fine, Michael.

0:23:05 > 0:23:06Thanks.

0:23:06 > 0:23:10We love you, Kat Moon, we do! We love you, Kat Moon, we do...'

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Someone's popular.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15What can I say?

0:23:16 > 0:23:19You should stick at this football lark...

0:23:19 > 0:23:20suits ya.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25- All right, Alf?- Michael.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32- Missing you down there. - Yeah, I know.

0:23:32 > 0:23:36- Got a bit of a fan club going on. - Mmm!

0:23:36 > 0:23:39Do you think this suits me, this football lark?

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Too right. Mind you, I think you look knockout in anything

0:23:41 > 0:23:43so it don't matter, does it?

0:23:45 > 0:23:48Haven't really spent much time together, have we, since I been back?

0:23:51 > 0:23:53I know...

0:23:54 > 0:23:56..you're right...

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Am I?

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Yeah, course you're right.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04And listen, I know, sweetheart, hands up, it's all my fault.

0:24:04 > 0:24:09And look, listen, you know, what with the Vic, Tommy and Shenice...

0:24:09 > 0:24:11- Mo, Jean...- There you go, Mo and Jean, you know.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15But, hey, hands up, Scout's honour -

0:24:15 > 0:24:18- Tomorrow.- Tomorrow.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Tomorrow. Come here, you - mwah!

0:24:20 > 0:24:24Hear that? "We love you, Kat Moon, we do."

0:24:27 > 0:24:28(Oi, Alfie, don't wake Tommy!)

0:24:33 > 0:24:35- CUSTOMERS CHANTING: - Queen Vic till I die!

0:24:35 > 0:24:38I'm Queen Vic till I die

0:24:38 > 0:24:42I know I am, I'm sure I am I'm Queen Vic till I die...

0:24:44 > 0:24:45Come on. Come on.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08Hey!

0:25:08 > 0:25:13We love you, Kat Moon, we do! We love you, Kat Moon, we do...

0:25:30 > 0:25:32You coming in or what?

0:25:41 > 0:25:44- SHOUTS:- You have got ten seconds to get in here now!

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Five...four...three...two...

0:25:47 > 0:25:48One!

0:25:56 > 0:25:57What?

0:25:59 > 0:26:00Lola!

0:26:04 > 0:26:07SHE PANTS

0:26:28 > 0:26:31..he was flapping like an absolute...

0:26:35 > 0:26:41- ALL:- We love you, Kat Moon, we do We love you Kat Moon, we do

0:26:41 > 0:26:44We love you Kat Moon, we do.

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Oh, Kat Moon, we love you.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49THEY ALL LAUGH AND CHEER

0:27:16 > 0:27:20Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd