0:00:41 > 0:00:43Here you are, mate. You can have that.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Jimmie. It's Phil. Change of plan, meet me at the cafe instead, yeah?
0:01:24 > 0:01:26And don't keep me waiting.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- Morning.- Morning.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Ah... Have I got any post today?
0:01:46 > 0:01:48What date is it?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50The date is the 23rd.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Ah, yeah.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55You see, end of the month, the bills keep rolling in.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56What are you going to do today?
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Today? Find a job, pay my share.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Well, you don't have to worry about that,
0:02:04 > 0:02:06because we have got the magic jar.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09We've got enough to last us at least a...week.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Well done, it's your first day and you're already late.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14What do you do in that bathroom?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17What can I say, the ladies expect a certain standard of grooming.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Now you're an employed part of this happy household,
0:02:21 > 0:02:24I thought you might want to contribute to the family finances.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Oh, I'm quite happy with this no payment,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28no residency rights situation.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31I'm a teaching assistant with a few postal rounds in a week.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32I can't cover all the costs.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34If you do a job you love,
0:02:34 > 0:02:36you're always going to be taken advantage of.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Oh, weren't we supposed to be doing something today?
0:02:40 > 0:02:43I don't think so... We could have a lads' night?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I'm sure we're supposed to be doing something today.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Yeah, it's beautiful,
0:02:48 > 0:02:52but ordering one for Rainie's jumping the gun ain't it?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Why? She's a bridesmaid.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55You know what she's like.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58We don't know where she is, and when she wants to disappear...
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Do you think she's back on it?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02No, no.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Good, because I want her at my wedding.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09LOUD KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:03:09 > 0:03:13All right, all right, calm down. What's the matter with you?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Blimey. Banging on the door.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Oh, all right, Phil?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19We alone?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21- Yeah, yeah, yeah, they've left. - They?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- Yeah. The Border Agency guys. - I thought they was old bill?
0:03:24 > 0:03:28No, no, no. They got a tip-off about, you know, the decorators that you got in.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Reckon they were illegal.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- And you gave 'em my address? - No! No course I didn't.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35They came here first. Phil, they've got your address.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37They know about the R&R, the Arches...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39If they come back asking any more questions,
0:03:39 > 0:03:41do what you do best, just play dumb. All right?
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Phil, hold on, mate. It's you they want to talk to, isn't it?
0:03:44 > 0:03:47They're going to be back in a couple hours.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54DOORBELL RINGS
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Go on, hit it.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03# Hey Tam, yo! It's your birthday, oh!
0:04:03 > 0:04:06# And we're going to celebrate with a glass of OJ, oh no, oh yes
0:04:06 > 0:04:08# That's how we roll, yo yo. #
0:04:08 > 0:04:09- What you doing?- What you said.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13- No, you're doing it wrong.- I did what you said.- Come on, seriously.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- Can you just stop, please? - What's wrong with you, man?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18I'm not doing the whole birthday thing this year.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Oh, is it cos your restaurant went bust?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- No.- Oops...
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Oh, cos you're missing your mum and Kamil?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Who told you about that?
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Um...he did?
0:04:28 > 0:04:34Denise may have mentioned it? Cos...I went to see her....
0:04:34 > 0:04:36At the...Minute Mart...
0:04:36 > 0:04:40to go buy some...fabric softener.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Fabric softener?
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I just wanted to say sorry to hear about your mum and that.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48It's well sad. But it's your birthday, he wrote you a song and everything.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52- I'm sure it's lovely.- No, it's not lovely. It's hard-core. Hit it.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54# Hey Tam, yo! It's your birthday, oh!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56# And we're going to celebrate with... #
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Will both of you just stop? Please, not now.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08So when do you reckon they'll let me have Lexi?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I wouldn't go painting the nursery just yet.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Once we file the application to the court, they'll appoint
0:05:13 > 0:05:16a lawyer to look into your personal life, home, work...
0:05:16 > 0:05:18What's going on with Shirley?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Nothing.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Going to be a lot easier convincing the courts you're the right person
0:05:22 > 0:05:25for Lexi if you're in a stable relationship
0:05:25 > 0:05:26with people who can support you.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- She ain't an option.- You'd at least look like you're a happy family.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31We don't need her, all right?
0:05:33 > 0:05:37You're a recovering alcoholic with a son on remand for murder.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39You're hardly a poster boy for the social services.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42If you can't handle this, if you're out of your depth,
0:05:42 > 0:05:43I'll find another brief, all right?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45I'm on top of it.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46Good. You better be.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Look, there's no reason why social services should get to know about
0:05:52 > 0:05:56your health issues, but keeping Ben out of it's going to be difficult.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Couple of teas to take away.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04- Nothing else we need to address? - Like what?
0:06:04 > 0:06:07The slightest whiff of anything illegal or unpleasant,
0:06:07 > 0:06:12proven or otherwise, and social services will run a mile from you.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14No, nothing.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Good.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20I'll test the water and see what they throw back at us.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23If we can convince them you're a model family man,
0:06:23 > 0:06:25I'm sure they'll let you have the kid.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Morning, Kim.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Ah, Patrick, lifesaver.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Man, I'm starving. Denise cooking breakfast?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40No. Thanks to Zainab, she's working full time at the Mini Mart,
0:06:40 > 0:06:41so I'm cooking solo.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Don't worry yourself about me, I'll get something down at the cafe.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49No, no, don't go, don't go. I need some help.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50SHE SCREAMS
0:06:51 > 0:06:53SHE YAWNS DRAMATICALLY
0:06:53 > 0:06:58Good morning. Could you finish laying the tables, please?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00I'll be with you in a minute.
0:07:00 > 0:07:01OK? Thanks.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Thought you'd forgotten about me. Where do you want me to start?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22The Merc, take it down the breakers' yard.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- You want me to see if I can get it past the MOT?- No. I want it lost.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29When you get to the breakers', only speak to Micky. Tell him to box it.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31No paperwork. Give him this.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Whatever you say.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Right answer.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38When you've done that, you can have the rest of the day off.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Really? Thanks.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46This Suzuki. Can I have it?
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Have it? It's worth over a grand done up.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Really?- Yeah, really. But take it as it is,
0:07:52 > 0:07:53you can have it for 500 quid.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57500 quid's a bit steep for me. I suppose I could go to 350.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58No.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I can get my hands on 465, cash.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- HE EXHALES - Yeah, all right, go on then.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06- If I find you working on it in my time you're out the door.- OK. Deal.
0:08:11 > 0:08:16Good morning, your breakfasts are here. Yes, I know, your coffee!
0:08:16 > 0:08:22So here we have half a full English, thank you, beans on bread.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27Yes, I know, your tea is coming. It's on its way. It's coming.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Babe, you all right?
0:08:29 > 0:08:33They're just so demanding. Food, drinks, bread!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- Babe, it's a B&B. - My back's hurting me.- Really?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- Yes.- Seemed like it was all right last night.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Yeah, well, I didn't want to say anything.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42It's been hurting me for some time now.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Sounds like you need a good soak, babe.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47But I've got to do the I got breakfasts...
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Babe, look I'd love to help but I got to go to the Vic.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52I've got some slow-cooked lambs to sort out.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54It hurts.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- GROANING - Right down there.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58All right, all right, all right.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Tell you what, I'll sort these breakfasts out,
0:09:01 > 0:09:03I'll run you a bath but I can't stay too long, all right?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07OK. Yeah. Thank you.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10SHE GIGGLES
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Sorry!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- Morning. - You might be getting a visit.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Nice to see you too.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Immigration.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22What have you been up to?
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Nothing. It's just some decorators I used at the Vic.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Show 'em an invoice, prove you thought they were legal.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31It was a cash job. It was two coats of emulsion and a coat of gloss.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34I didn't ask for their life stories, did I?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Didn't pay them with these then? They're fake, counterfeit.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40We must have at least 500 quid's worth.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Nothing to do with me.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Won't mind if I go to the police then, will you?
0:09:45 > 0:09:46No old bill and no publicity.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49I don't want any trouble being stirred up for me.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Never worried you before.
0:09:50 > 0:09:55I never tried to get care of anybody's kid before. Lexi.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57You? I thought the idea was to help Lola?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00And the best way to do that is to offer to have her.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03How are you going to bring up a baby on your own? DOOR BUZZES
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Have you forgotten how hard it is to bring up children?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Well, I'll make it work.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10As long as everyone remembers that I'm the perfect family man,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12who never gets into any trouble.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Hello? Who?
0:10:17 > 0:10:18Get rid of 'em.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I'm just on my way out. I'll come to you.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Lauren. Your mum's on the war path.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35You're meant to be at home doing this fitting.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- I'm sure whatever she's chosen... - Home! Now! Don't be cheeky.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- All right?- Yeah, not too bad.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Very pleased with the ad you done, by the way.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Well, the ad we did.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Here, Max, I reckon you could utilise my skills out the car lot.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Well, whenever I want an ad, I'll give you a shout.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53Not advertising, sales. You're out there on your own now, aren't ya?
0:10:53 > 0:10:57Reckon I could make the perfect junior sales executive.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Uh..
0:10:58 > 0:11:03Joey, I've got a car to drop off. Come and see me after that, yeah?
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Lauren, got time for a coffee?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- No, sorry.- Home, now, please.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Maybe later then.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Look, we will get him a present.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18It'll take more than a CD and some aftershave to get him to forgive me.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21He's your brother, he'll forgive you.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Why?
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Because he's a very nice man, from a really lovely family.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Really?- Mad, but lovely.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33- Well, congrats on your big day, guys!- Poppy, thanks.- Thank you.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36I love a wedding. The flowers, the dresses...
0:11:36 > 0:11:41The dresses that...the other guests wear.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Babe, don't worry about it. Syed went full out, veil, tiara,
0:11:43 > 0:11:4430 foot train.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46THEY LAUGH
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- I'll see you at the Vic later, yeah? - What for?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Fats wants to take Tamwar for a birthday drink.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Course he does. And yes, you will see us later.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57- Cool. See you later, guys. - See you, babe.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59- We can't go.- Why not?
0:11:59 > 0:12:03Well, apart from destroying my family, I haven't got him a present!
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Well...
0:12:04 > 0:12:09how about something like this?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11He's 22. He's not about to retire.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Might be good for interviews.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Don't think it's a good idea to remind him he hasn't got a job.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- Why don't we ask him himself?- No.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20Tam!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Happy birthday.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Thanks.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25So what do you want?
0:12:25 > 0:12:28What do I want? Nothing. I've got everything I could possibly want.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Tambo.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I am going to go to McKlunky's finest cuisine,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36and see if they've got any vacancies for failed restaurateurs.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43We are going to find him something perfect, all right?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47You all right, Phil?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50It's your lucky day, your chance to be a hero.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Really?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53You've got to tell them Borders Agency geezers
0:12:53 > 0:12:55it was you that hired them decorators.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57How's that make me a hero then?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Taking one for the team.- Which team?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03My team, which is the only team you need to worry about.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Phil, listen, I've got my licence to think about,
0:13:05 > 0:13:08any more trouble with the old bill and they could take it off me.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11You won't need a licence if I get nicked for this, cos you
0:13:11 > 0:13:14won't have a pub to worry about, or a newly decorated flat to live in.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18So what do you think?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Yeah, yeah, they're all right.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23They're a bit long.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26I did think the neck line was just going to be a bit lower.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27You're bridesmaids, not pole dancers.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Anyway, not being funny,
0:13:29 > 0:13:31but everyone's going to be looking at me.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35- All right, girls. You look lovely. - Oh, hello, what you doing here?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- I'm interviewing him for a job. - What, here?
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Yep. I need an audience. - Jay's job?
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Jay was a gopher, this is sales.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42It's a special skill, not everyone can do it.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Well, if you can do it...
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Excuse me, Joey, I've had years of experience.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Years and years and years.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Everyone thinks they can be a salesman, don't they?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- He's got a big enough gob. - Thanks, yeah.- It does help.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54That and lying.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57What you talking about, lying? We might embellish but we don't lie.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Lies are like sales warranties. Come back and bite you, don't they?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Right, you show me what you can do. - What, now?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Yeah. Go on, I'll make it easy for you, all right.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Abi believes everything she's told. Sell her that motor.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10That's not true.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Nah, nah, I'd rather have a challenge, thank you. No offence.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Madam, I see you're very interested in this car, nice choice.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Great body work, lovely lines, nice souped-up little engine.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- It's over-priced.- Some say that you get what you pay for.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- But not what you always deserve. - What you doing?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31It's only rain, you're going to get that as a salesman, carry on.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Nice one, thanks.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Perhaps madam would like to take her out for a test drive to see
0:14:36 > 0:14:38how elegantly she handles in the wet?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Who underwrites your guarantees?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Excuse me, no trick questions.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44All our previous customers have been satisfied.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Perhaps you'd like to read some of their feedback.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50- Ooh! Positive customer feedback! - Will be once I've written them.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Writing your own reviews. Why does that not surprise me?
0:14:53 > 0:14:57You're right. Words are cheap. Nothing compares to the real experience.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00So how about I take you for a little test drive
0:15:00 > 0:15:04- and show you what all the fuss is about?- Very good.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Definitely a chip off the old Branning block, ain't he?
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Yep. Yep, he's definitely a Branning.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- All right. You start tomorrow, on commission.- Nice one.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Congratulations.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I hate to let a sale go.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20Oi.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23What's wrong with you?
0:15:23 > 0:15:25What is your problem?
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Your dad just offered me a job.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29You and Whitney?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31It was just a kiss, Lauren.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Well, when are you going to tell Lucy about it then?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Why would I do that?
0:15:40 > 0:15:42He's got a lot on his mind.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45What with your mum and that? Sorry, Tam.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49That's all right. And thanks for the birthday rap.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51It's all good in the hood, bruv.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52You know, it's your big day, ain't it?
0:15:52 > 0:15:56That's the thing, I don't want a big day, I just want a normal day.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58A small day.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01I want my wife to go home to, Mum nagging me about the restaurant.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Here, Tam, listen mate, did you ever have any
0:16:04 > 0:16:06employment issues in your restaurant?
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Alfie, bruv.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Oh, duh, mate, sorry, I'm being insensitive.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Listen, top bhuna by the way. - Thanks.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16Just wondered if you ever had any staff problems with people who...
0:16:16 > 0:16:19- People that...shouldn't be working?- Why would we?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22No, no reason, just that maybe you employed people that
0:16:22 > 0:16:24weren't from round here.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Round here? Yeah.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Oh, we did, we had a guy, he was from south London.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Well, that's disgraceful. I'm sorry.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32No. All our staff were British, taxed, NI.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Hold tight. Are you looking for cheaper bar staff?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Why, do you know any? Oh, I'm only joking.- Hey, come on, man!
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- I'm just about getting by already. - At least you've got a job.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43How do you fancy, this is an idea, OK?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46How do you two fancy earning a score each?
0:16:51 > 0:16:54- You're still here? - Yeah. Wanted to keep it tidy.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57OK, now here, this is a shopping list,
0:16:57 > 0:17:00you're out of almost everything, babe.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Also the guy up in room five, he wanted to stay another night,
0:17:03 > 0:17:07and a dude from Manchester rang about a deal on a month's stay,
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- and apparently the radiator in the bathroom's leaking.- Oh.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12On the brighter side,
0:17:12 > 0:17:15I found this when I was clearing out the bins.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16Oh!
0:17:16 > 0:17:20- A little present for you. - It's pretty.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Hey, P.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Everything OK? I mean, anything I can do?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Nah, nah, we're good.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Look at that, look. Nice, innit?
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Oh, you found it! Cora's bracelet.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Man, she is going to be pleased with me.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Thank you, honey, thank you. Yeah, man.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Babe, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I've got to go.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42All right, thanks.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57- Stupid thing! - Hey, what you doing?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00It's not all there, the last pages are missing.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02All right, all right, calm yourself down.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04I got it in the market and it's about two bunnies,
0:18:04 > 0:18:07one big one and one small one and they look after each other.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Don't get yourself all worked up.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11No, cos I thought Lexi was my little bunny.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13I thought it was a sign and that she would come home
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- and everything would be all right. - It will be all right, I can fix it.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18No, you can't!
0:18:18 > 0:18:20She's going to have a proper book
0:18:20 > 0:18:22with all the pictures and nothing missing.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I can make that brand new!
0:18:24 > 0:18:27We can write our own ending, can't we?
0:18:27 > 0:18:31I wanted to read it to her, when she come home.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33That might not be for a while yet.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Phil's going to get Lexi home soon, right?
0:18:42 > 0:18:48Listen, Lo, I wouldn't rely too much on Phil at the moment.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50He means well but...
0:18:50 > 0:18:52He's still got a lot on his plate, hasn't he?
0:18:52 > 0:18:56What with Ben, Shirley leaving.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58At the end of the day, it's down to us now.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Me, you and Lexi. Our own little family.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04DOORBELL RINGS
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Things ain't going to change overnight.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Yeah.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11KNOCK ON DOOR
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I'm coming.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Just wanted to make sure no-one's been
0:19:23 > 0:19:25poking their nose into my business?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27- Why would they?- No reason.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Just so long as we all remember to play happy families,
0:19:30 > 0:19:31everything will be fine.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33You can count on us.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Bought it for Lexi down the market but the poxy thing's broken.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Well, if you want some books...
0:19:38 > 0:19:39No, Phil.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Go up to Stratford, get her some new books, yeah,
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- nice ones, with pop up pictures and all that sort of thing.- Thanks.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- I'll catch you later. - See you, mate.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Oh, no.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Looking good, nephew.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Looking perfect, I'd employ 'em.
0:20:04 > 0:20:09Well, as we rehearsed, I did. Well, actually Phil did. Don't forget.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Is this actually legal?
0:20:11 > 0:20:15It's not...illegal, is it? It's probably a bit...un-legal.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Amazing, so what happens if they want to interview us?
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Nothing to worry about. You're all legit, aren't you?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Yes!- Good! Well, there's nothing to worry about.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Yeah, but we don't want to get him busted on his birthday, man.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29It's your birthday. Why didn't you say?
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Well done.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26All right, mate. Look. Well?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32This is it? Your great master plan?
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Yeah. We'll just tell Immigration our decorators here
0:21:35 > 0:21:38are 100% British kosher and whoever grassed em up must be racist.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- Yeah, it's got its flaws, but... - Just get out of here, please.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Thing is...- Now! Get out of here! - Go, go, go, go!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- All right fellas, you OK? All good? - Mr Moon.- Yes, sir.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49We still haven't been able to find Mr Mitchell.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I know, see, now, what I need to tell you...
0:21:51 > 0:21:53You didn't try very hard. I'm Phil Mitchell.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56I need to talk to you about some work you had done a few weeks ago.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I think you'll find that my tenant
0:21:59 > 0:22:02can answer all your questions.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Yeah, I can do that, that's good. Any questions you want.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Like, the meaning of life, is there a God, will West Ham win?
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Sorry, I know what you actually want to talk about, the decorators.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Funny, it's an interesting story, right...
0:22:12 > 0:22:16Before I do tell you, this won't affect my drinks licence, will it?
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Alfie, shut up, will you?
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- I employed the painters.- So you're legally responsible, Mr Mitchell.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I believed they were kosher.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26It's your job to check every employee has a right to work here.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30It's our job to prosecute people who use illegal labour.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Sorry, I'm late, Mr Mitchell, busy day.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Here's the paperwork for the decorators.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38What does this have to do with you, Mrs Rickman?
0:22:38 > 0:22:44It's an invoice, from the company Mr Mitchell employed to do the work.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Sorry, couldn't find it earlier.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52You do realise that the men you were using were illegal?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Mr Mitchell paid a British registered company in good faith.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58He did not enter into any direct negotiations with the labour
0:22:58 > 0:23:03and therefore cannot be held responsible for their employment status.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06That is correct isn't it?
0:23:06 > 0:23:10We will look into this a bit further. We'll be in touch.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12We will get the invoice back, won't we?
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Only, the tax man will need to see it.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Take care, fellas. All the best.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Sharon, that was brilliant. Well done.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Why didn't we think of that?
0:23:23 > 0:23:24Because it's the truth, the law.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Maybe we should try it. Drinks on the house.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29How'd you get hold of get the invoice?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32I had to pull a few favours. But it's a one off, Phil.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Do not get me involved in any of your schemes again. All right?
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Whitney.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44You got five minutes?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Going for a drink with Tamwar, you want to come?
0:23:46 > 0:23:51No, no, not in the Vic, somewhere private. It's about Joey.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55Tam!
0:23:55 > 0:23:57So I was thinking, if you guys got some spare time,
0:23:57 > 0:23:59the front of the house could do with a coat of paint.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03- Funny, really funny. - Hold tight, man, we could do that.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Are you being serious?- You haven't had any better offers, have ya?
0:24:06 > 0:24:08It is looking a bit grubby, ain't it?
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Mind if we join you?
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Yeah, of course, let me get you a drink, Syed?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Orange juice and lemonade.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Good Muslim. Christian?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Vodka tonic.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Now you're married, does that mean you're my nephew in-law?
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Yeah, baby.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32We got you this. It's about the greatest ever stand-ups.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Thanks.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Oh, right. Silly me, I went to look for you at the Arches,
0:24:38 > 0:24:41but, no, you're here buying drinks with my money.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44- I'm not buying drinks with your money.- Deny you took it then.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47No, but I'm not buying drinks with it, I bought a motorbike with it.
0:24:47 > 0:24:52- Oh, well, that's all right then! - For... Tamwar's birthday.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55What? Oh, it's the 23rd.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Yeah.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58What's going on?
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Your uncle has bought you a motorbike with our jar money.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04You bought me a motorbike?
0:25:04 > 0:25:05A present.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08I thought we could do it up together. He forgot!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Tam.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Can't believe you forgot.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Tam, I'm sorry, I feel awful.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15What's he doing here?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19He came and he brought me a present, OK.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20You invited him?
0:25:20 > 0:25:21I didn't invite him.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24You sit there with him after everything he's done to our family!
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Dad, I didn't invite him! I didn't invite any of them. OK.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29I didn't invite him, who buys me a motorcycle,
0:25:29 > 0:25:32which is practically the vehicle that my wife left me on.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34I didn't invite the world's worst birthday rapper
0:25:34 > 0:25:36or his beat-boxing sidekick.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40I didn't invite the lunatic who's decided to join our family
0:25:40 > 0:25:43or the brother who sank the family business and then let me
0:25:43 > 0:25:44take the fall for it.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47And I didn't invite you because you forgot my birthday.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50You forgot.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54I didn't invite any of you. But...
0:25:54 > 0:25:56I'm still glad you're here.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Cos this is all I want for my birthday.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03Us all sitting around, pretending to be normal over a drink.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07So I'm going to go wild and get some dandelion and burdock.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14- Just a lemonade.- OK.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19It's all going to be all right, you know that?
0:26:19 > 0:26:22No, it's not, but we'll get through it.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Happy birthday.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00I didn't tell the police about the forged notes.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Thanks.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05I didn't do it for you. It's what's best for the club.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I just want Lexi growing up amongst her family.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10One hell of a family.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Could be. Could be a great family.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Not unless you've got relations I don't know about, Phil.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Social Services, they'd love you, wouldn't they?
0:27:17 > 0:27:20I mean, you're great with kids, you're reliable...
0:27:20 > 0:27:22If...
0:27:22 > 0:27:25If we was a couple, you and me,
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Lexi'd be back in no time at all, wouldn't she?
0:27:29 > 0:27:30Except we're not a couple.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33We could be.
0:27:50 > 0:27:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd