15/01/2013

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0:00:44 > 0:00:47Getting stuck in, Dot?

0:00:52 > 0:00:54They're not mine.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01- I haven't got 'em. - You know what that means, don't you?

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Oh, great. Great. Why don't you go round there and pick them up?

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Why don't you introduce yourself while you're there?

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Joey, go and make yourself useful, will ya?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10All right. See ya.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16You going to get dressed today or what?

0:01:16 > 0:01:18You know you make it very hard for me and your mum

0:01:18 > 0:01:19to be proud of you, Lauren.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Oh, thanks.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23When was the last time you had a shower?

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Hello, dar...

0:01:27 > 0:01:30I got enough on my plate without the latest Lauren drama.

0:01:30 > 0:01:31We need to talk about Kirsty.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34- Babe, can we do it later? I got to make this phone call.- Max!

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Hang on.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Hello, mate. You all right?

0:01:38 > 0:01:40It isn't funny.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42No, it's not. It's hilarious.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45She's your granddaughter.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47Thanks for pointing that out, Dot,

0:01:47 > 0:01:51but I don't think Alzheimer's has set in just yet.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Where are you going?

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Work.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56Work?

0:02:00 > 0:02:04Oh, hello, Mrs Branning. Um.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07We haven't properly met yet, which is funny,

0:02:07 > 0:02:09seeing as I live in your house.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12Yes, highly amusing.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14I'm Poppy.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16How do you do?

0:02:16 > 0:02:17KNOCK ON DOOR

0:02:23 > 0:02:27Mrs B? Mrs B! I haven't seen you in so long.

0:02:27 > 0:02:31It's so good to see you. I have missed you so much.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Oh, my goodness. Look at you. You are looking good.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36And those earrings, they're looking sharp. So sharp they're dangerous.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38- SHE LAUGHS - I've had 'em pierced.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41It was all down to Dotty, I'll tell you about it later.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44Oh, I've missed you, Arthur.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47There was no need to make such a fuss of me.

0:02:47 > 0:02:48What?

0:02:48 > 0:02:52Still, you've bought them now, so... Thank you very much.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56Yeah, well...of course. I mean, welcome home, Mrs B.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00To the prettiest Poppy on the block.

0:03:00 > 0:03:01Poppy?

0:03:03 > 0:03:05HE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Yes. Poppy.

0:03:17 > 0:03:21Morning. Sleep well?

0:03:21 > 0:03:23It's midday.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28So it is. Would you like a tea?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Kettle's just boiled.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Or there's juice in the fridge.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37With bits, I think, if you like bits.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40If you don't mind them. I like it smooth.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42But does Zainab ever listen?

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Or at least she does and then she wilfully ignores me,

0:03:45 > 0:03:47which isn't out of character...

0:03:50 > 0:03:53- Ayesha, about last night... - Where's Aunty-Ji?

0:03:53 > 0:03:54Minute Mart.

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Kim.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Wait up. Kim!

0:04:09 > 0:04:11You keep 'em.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12Don't you like them?

0:04:12 > 0:04:14No, no, it's not that.

0:04:14 > 0:04:18Where am I going to put a vase of flowers when I'm homeless?

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Mrs B hasn't chucked you out.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23No. Not yet. But she don't like me though.

0:04:23 > 0:04:27Oh, baby, how could she not like you, huh?

0:04:27 > 0:04:29You did not see the way she looked at me.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33Right, listen. Mrs B, she's just like a pussycat.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Yeah? You've just got to know how to stroke her.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Will you teach me?

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Course. Come on.

0:04:43 > 0:04:44Babe, please, I'm really hungry.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Meaning what? You're incapable of human thought?

0:04:47 > 0:04:49- I've got work in five minutes. - I have got a job too, Max.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Which is exactly why we need to sort this out

0:04:51 > 0:04:53so we can both get on with our lives.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56- You've got to do something. - What do you mean? Like what?

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Well, I don't know. Get on to your solicitor, threaten her, something!

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Don't be silly. That's exactly what she wants.

0:05:02 > 0:05:03No, Max, it's what I want.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05DOORBELL RINGS

0:05:11 > 0:05:14You all right, Dot? Welcome back.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15Thank you.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18Oh, hello, Dot. It's lovely to see you. Come in.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Thank you very much. Now, I'm not stopping.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23I've come to see you as a matter of priority.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Oh, right. Come through.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Can I take your coat?

0:05:27 > 0:05:29No, well, I don't think I'll stay for long.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34You smell that? Beautiful.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Oi! Patience.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Never been big on that.

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Oh, yeah?

0:05:40 > 0:05:44Now what if I told you that this was going to be the richest, darkest,

0:05:44 > 0:05:48finest piece of damn chocolate pudding you've ever tasted?

0:05:48 > 0:05:50How do you know what I've tasted?

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Oh, hello. Something tells me...

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Just teasing.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Kim, hi.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58All right? What you looking so jumpy for?

0:05:58 > 0:05:59I haven't got a bunny up my top.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01However, I've got a couple of puppies.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03SHE LAUGHS

0:06:03 > 0:06:05- What you doing here? - Clubbing, by the looks of it.

0:06:05 > 0:06:11Was passing by and I thought I'd drop by to tell you...

0:06:11 > 0:06:13I've got some of your stuff.

0:06:13 > 0:06:14What stuff?

0:06:14 > 0:06:19Stuff that belongs to you, like CDs...

0:06:19 > 0:06:23- Keep them. - And other stuff as well.

0:06:25 > 0:06:30So I was thinking that, if you want to pop by later,

0:06:30 > 0:06:32I can get some wine in.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Look, I'm working.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Yeah, but I stay up late. You know that.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39- I'll give you two some space. - There's no need for that.

0:06:39 > 0:06:40That'd be great, yeah.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Look, we're not together any more, Kim.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49I know. I know that, Ray.

0:06:49 > 0:06:53But it doesn't mean that we can't be friends, does it?

0:06:55 > 0:07:00So, pop round later, glass of wine. That's what friends do, innit?

0:07:04 > 0:07:06There you go.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09I've just been saying to Tanya, I went to visit your father.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10Oh, yeah?

0:07:10 > 0:07:16He's still heartbroken. His eldest, cut down at such a tender age.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Such a nice, generous man. Lovely manners.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Yeah, we're all still reeling, to be honest.

0:07:22 > 0:07:23FLOORBOARDS CREAK

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Lauren, is that you? Come and say hello to your Grandma.

0:07:26 > 0:07:27Hi, Grandma.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Lauren.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32- It's nice to see you, but I'm late.- Late?

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Yeah. For a thing.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Lauren?

0:07:37 > 0:07:39I'm so sorry, Dot. I'll be talking to her later.

0:07:39 > 0:07:44Well, actually, I was hoping to see her later on by myself.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48You know, time has taught me that death casts a long shadow

0:07:49 > 0:07:53and Jim has made me promise on his behalf,

0:07:53 > 0:07:55that I would take care of the whole family.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Starting from tonight.

0:07:57 > 0:08:01You're all invited for a meal at 5.00 at mine.

0:08:01 > 0:08:06You know, Jack, Carol, children, grandchildren, everyone.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Oh, Dot, that's a lovely gesture, but there's a lot of us though.

0:08:09 > 0:08:10Sure you've got room?

0:08:10 > 0:08:12I'm not talking about a banquet, Tanya,

0:08:12 > 0:08:16I'm talking about a family gathering at a time of crisis.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Well, I could always sit on Jack's knee.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21I tell you what, why don't we go to the Vic for the gathering?

0:08:21 > 0:08:24- On Max, of course.- Yeah, or a curry?

0:08:24 > 0:08:28Oh, no. Oh, no, them spices, they play havoc with my stomach.

0:08:28 > 0:08:29What's wrong with the Vic?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Nothing.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Good. Right, well, that's decided then.

0:08:33 > 0:08:37All right. Ooh, we mustn't forget Alice.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40And Derek's son. What's his name?

0:08:40 > 0:08:42Joey.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45Joey. It's about time I got to know him.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Rashid? I thought that was... - You think it's a bad idea?

0:08:51 > 0:08:53No, no, I did not say that.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57I just think it's going to take a bit of delicate handling.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00Luckily for you, I was born with a pair of kid gloves.

0:09:00 > 0:09:01SHE LAUGHS LOUDLY

0:09:01 > 0:09:04Now, where did I put Rashid's mother's number?

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Here, Ayesha, you sure you want to do this?

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Why?

0:09:12 > 0:09:15Cos in the real world, match making don't work...

0:09:15 > 0:09:20No, scratch that, relationships don't work. End of.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Don't you listen to her, OK.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25This isn't match making, this is finding a husband. It's different.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27OK, are we ready?

0:09:30 > 0:09:32I didn't want to say nothing in front of Max,

0:09:32 > 0:09:36seeing as he's in mourning. But now I've got you...

0:09:37 > 0:09:41- Oh, whose are those? - That is a good question.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43And one that I would be asking your daughter

0:09:43 > 0:09:45if she'd had the courage to face me.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Sorry, Dot. You've lost me.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Well, yesterday was not a good day.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Sandy had bought me one of them Sat-things, you know, so I

0:09:53 > 0:09:56didn't get lost, and she took me so many times around a roundabout

0:09:56 > 0:09:58that I had one of my dizzy turns.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00When she finally got me back on track,

0:10:00 > 0:10:04my nerves were shot to pieces and I had to stop for a cup of strong tea.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06And you know them motorway cafes,

0:10:06 > 0:10:09they don't know the meaning of the word strong.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Sorry, what's all this got to do with Lauren?

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Well, the only thing that was getting me through

0:10:14 > 0:10:18was the thought of being back in my own home, in my own sitting room,

0:10:18 > 0:10:22sitting on my own sofa with a cup of strong tea.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24And what do I find when I open the door?

0:10:24 > 0:10:30Your daughter, sprawled on my sofa with the mystery owner of these.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32I shall never be able to look at my anti-maccasars again.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Well, not until they've had a good wash.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38I don't know what to say, Dot.

0:10:38 > 0:10:43I know that Lauren is taking her uncle's death to heart,

0:10:43 > 0:10:47but that is no reason why such behaviour should go unchecked.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Well, no. You're absolutely right, Dot.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Trust me, it won't. Thank you.

0:11:02 > 0:11:03What's all that about?

0:11:03 > 0:11:05We've got a problem.

0:11:05 > 0:11:10Well, yes, of course. We understand, yeah. OK. Thank you.

0:11:10 > 0:11:11Bye-bye.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Aunty-Ji?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Rashid is coming over tomorrow for tea.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26That is not the reaction that I was expecting.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Just imagine, Ayesha, you could be starting your life again.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Imagine that.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33I think she is.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35I'm excited. Really.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37It's OK to be nervous, you know.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40No, no. I'm not nervous. It's just...

0:11:40 > 0:11:42What will I say after last time?

0:11:44 > 0:11:46And how will I know if I like him?

0:11:48 > 0:11:50How will I know if he likes me?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Luckily for you, I am very experienced in these matters.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Ooh, we doing advice? Excellent, grab a pen.

0:11:56 > 0:11:57A pen?

0:12:01 > 0:12:03That's what you dragged me here for?

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Dad, I don't want to go back to college.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07Lauren, it isn't a yes or a no sort of a deal.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Pick a course, will ya?

0:12:09 > 0:12:12I thought the Max Branning dictatorship ended when I was 18.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14I've got two words for you - Dot's sofa.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16I know you're young, I appreciate all that.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19But you go around acting like nothing you do matters.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22- That's what Mum does, I don't.- Prove it. Start taking life seriously.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24And that's it? You ain't going to yell at me, or..?

0:12:24 > 0:12:27What do you want me to do? Dock your pocket money?

0:12:27 > 0:12:30Think we're moved on from that, Lauren, don't you?

0:12:30 > 0:12:33You're an intelligent young woman. Just start acting like one.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Oh, and we've got a family dinner in the Vic, yeah? 5 o'clock.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Family?

0:12:43 > 0:12:47Yep. It's all right, don't panic. Joey's off the guest list.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Ayesha does not need to worry about that particular type of man.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52What particular type? They're all that type.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Hold on, what about the type that takes in damsels in distress?

0:12:55 > 0:12:56Good point.

0:12:56 > 0:13:00One, I'm not a damsel, two, I'm not in distress.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02And three, this isn't about you, Ian.

0:13:02 > 0:13:06Then there's Masood. He is a kind, honourable man.

0:13:06 > 0:13:11Yes, they are not all bad, but they are all emotionally backward.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14Hey, Masood happens to be highly intellectual.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16They can be saying one thing to you, you know,

0:13:16 > 0:13:19they can be going around telling the world that they love your sister

0:13:19 > 0:13:21and then they can turn around the next minute

0:13:21 > 0:13:24and they can be kissing you and no, that's no contradiction, is it?

0:13:24 > 0:13:26You're confusing the poor girl.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Ignore her.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31OK, to simplify, and write this down,

0:13:31 > 0:13:36now when a man says something to you,

0:13:36 > 0:13:40you don't take it at face value, yeah?

0:13:40 > 0:13:42You look for the hidden meaning. All right?

0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Are you quite finished? - I'm not even started yet.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Masood. Masood, tell her.- Huh?

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Tell her that you're one of the good guys.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51What are we talking about?

0:13:51 > 0:13:55Umm, I've decided to give it another go with Rashid.

0:13:57 > 0:13:58OK.

0:13:58 > 0:14:02- Lauren's going to college?- Yeah. - What's so funny about that?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05You're not the only one with a brain, you know.

0:14:05 > 0:14:06How was your biology exam?

0:14:06 > 0:14:07Oh, I dunno.

0:14:07 > 0:14:10I ran out of time, but I think I answered most of the questions.

0:14:10 > 0:14:14- My knees just kept shaking. - I'm sure you did brilliantly.

0:14:14 > 0:14:15I'm proud of the pair of you.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18I hope you're going to take this college course more seriously

0:14:18 > 0:14:20than your shift at Booty's.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23You know why I walked out. Have you phoned the hospital yet?

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Not now, Lauren.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27You got a death wish, have you?

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Shockingly, this weren't my idea.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31The whole family, is it?

0:14:31 > 0:14:34My invitation must've got lost in the post.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36You don't normally wait for an invite.

0:14:36 > 0:14:40Babe, why don't you go and sit down, I'll get the drinks in.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Come on then, jump down.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Kirsty, play nice, will you? Please? - You know me, Max.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49- Get us a large whisky, will ya? - Everything all right?

0:14:49 > 0:14:50Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52I'm having scampi.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54You do know scampi is fish?

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Don't be stupid. It's not is it, Mum?

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Go and ask your cousin. Here you are.

0:14:59 > 0:15:03Oh, good. I was worried I was going to be late.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04Is Joey coming?

0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Nah, he was busy.- Typical.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09Oh, great. Does anyone else want to qualify as family?

0:15:09 > 0:15:11The Masoods? Ian Beale?

0:15:11 > 0:15:15You getting them in, Max? Whisky. Make mine a double.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17That's brilliant, I didn't know drinks were included.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21- They're not, Bianca. - Oh, stop it and get your wallet out.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Dot.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30THEY GREET HER

0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Ah!- Hi, Grandma.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41Denise, wait up. You see that?

0:15:41 > 0:15:44That there is the fourth text message that she's sent me today.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47You need to tell your sister to leave me alone.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Well, considering my sister can't stand the sight of me

0:15:49 > 0:15:52since you dumped her, I'd say the answer to that question,

0:15:52 > 0:15:55no, sorry, demand, is no.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57HE SIGHS

0:15:57 > 0:15:58All right, look, listen.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00I don't want to hurt her feelings, all right?

0:16:00 > 0:16:02But that girl's skin is thicker than an elephant.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05Oi. You watch it. My sister is as sensitive as they come.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Exactly. I mean, you know her better than anyone, right?

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Just think about it. Save her from making a fool of herself.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17I mean, she's got to come round, right?

0:16:21 > 0:16:24- Oh, yeah, just the steak please. - Dripping with blood, right?

0:16:24 > 0:16:26No, I'll have it well done.

0:16:26 > 0:16:31Here, isn't that my overall? Let's have a look.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36Here, look. There's that cigarette burn in my pocket.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- What are you doing with it? - Comes with the job, Dot.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Job? At the launderette?

0:16:41 > 0:16:44Come on, Dot. Give me a break.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47You didn't really think Mr P was going to keep the job open

0:16:47 > 0:16:49indefinitely, did you?

0:16:49 > 0:16:50GLASS TINKLING

0:16:50 > 0:16:53Right. Quiet, please, you noisy lot.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56I'd like everyone to join me in raising their glasses.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59- It's lovely to have Dot back. - THEY CHEER

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Where she belongs.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Place hasn't been the same without you, Dot.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05I'm not so sure of that.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Anyway, I'm sure that Jim would send his love, if he could.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11And I know he'd love to be here, but there we are.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13You know, he's very fond of his family.

0:17:13 > 0:17:17But anyway, thank you all for coming.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20Oh, Alice, isn't your brother joining us?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22I can call him if you like?

0:17:22 > 0:17:25Er, no, no. He said something else on, so...

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Anyway, Dot, what d'you think about Sharon joining the family?

0:17:28 > 0:17:30Think that's up to Jack to break that news, isn't it?

0:17:30 > 0:17:33Yeah, I wasn't going to tell you in such a public forum,

0:17:33 > 0:17:36but yes, me and Sharon, we're engaged.

0:17:36 > 0:17:42No! Oh, Sharon. Oh, how lovely! Oh, what a beautiful ring.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45Oh, I'm ever so pleased for you.

0:17:45 > 0:17:49Cos life hasn't been easy for you, has it? Nor for Jack.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51How's your little boy? How's Dennis?

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Oh, he's not so little any more. But he's gorgeous.

0:17:54 > 0:17:55He's terrorising Ian tonight.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57So you'll have to come and see him.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Oh, I'd love to. Or you could come to mine.

0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Oi, you going to the bar? - Yeah.- You know the drill.

0:18:02 > 0:18:06We're a bit empty here, Uncle Max. Cheers. That'd be nice.

0:18:07 > 0:18:08Hey, Max.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12You and Kirsty, is that a done thing or

0:18:12 > 0:18:13we still talking present tense?

0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Nah, nah, nah. It's all history, innit.- Yeah?

0:18:16 > 0:18:20So I wouldn't be knocking anyone's nose out of joint if I, you know...?

0:18:20 > 0:18:23- No, it's all right.- Go on. Crack on.

0:18:23 > 0:18:24Nice one. Always like to ask.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26You know, gentleman's code n'all that.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29Yeah, well, thought you'd had enough of that after Kim.

0:18:29 > 0:18:30- Eh?- High maintenance.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49You're early. Thought you were working...

0:18:49 > 0:18:53Kim, wait. Kim, please, just five minutes.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55I'm busy.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59You look nice. What, you going out?

0:18:59 > 0:19:01SHE SIGHS

0:19:01 > 0:19:04OK, look. No, you're right, you're right.

0:19:05 > 0:19:09I'm not going to patronise you by dressing this up.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12So I'm just going to come out with it

0:19:12 > 0:19:15because it's kinder than the alternative

0:19:15 > 0:19:21and in the long run I hope that you'll be able to see that...

0:19:24 > 0:19:26This is you coming out with it?

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Ray came to see me.

0:19:28 > 0:19:33Look, I know this is hard, but he's moved on.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36What? To you?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38No, of course not.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40You're not totally deluded then.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51You really think this is going to work, babe?

0:19:51 > 0:19:55Trust me. This is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57All right? Come on.

0:20:02 > 0:20:03S'cuse me.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09S'cuse me. Yeah, you.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Can I have another glass, please? That's got lipstick on it.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Did another woman get there first again?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16You going to let her talk to me like that?

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Babe, just ignore her, will ya?

0:20:18 > 0:20:20- You look tired, Tanya.- Excuse me? - Kirsty...

0:20:20 > 0:20:23- Did Oscar keep you up? - Kirsty, don't do this.

0:20:23 > 0:20:27After his bike accident, I thought he might be a bit unsettled?

0:20:27 > 0:20:29- He's fine. - I'm glad to hear it.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Good.- Poor little poppet.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34Talk to me.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37It was nothing, just a little scrape that's all. Jack was there.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Yeah. So was she, by all accounts. Why didn't you tell me?

0:20:40 > 0:20:42Cos there's nothing to tell.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Come to think of it, why didn't Oscar tell me?

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Babe, I got no idea.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Did you tell him not to? - Don't be stupid.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Did you tell our five-year-old son to cover for you?

0:20:51 > 0:20:53- He didn't really do anything, I mean...- Stay out of it.

0:20:53 > 0:20:54Babe, don't be paranoid.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57Paranoid? The woman is obsessed with you!

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Max, you're not having another affair, are you?

0:20:59 > 0:21:01- No, Dot, I'm not.- Who knows?

0:21:01 > 0:21:04Strictly speaking, she's right. You are having an affair, Max.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06With Tanya.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Seeing as we're the ones married.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12It's lovely to finally meet my mother-in-law.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16I'm Kirsty.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17How do you do?

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Is everything OK?

0:21:35 > 0:21:36Masood.

0:21:41 > 0:21:45About Rashid. Do you really think it's a good idea?

0:21:48 > 0:21:49Well...

0:21:51 > 0:21:55If it's what you want and you don't feel pressurised into it...

0:21:55 > 0:21:57You think I should wait?

0:22:01 > 0:22:04I think you should do what makes you happy, Ayesha.

0:22:20 > 0:22:24You know, Max, I'd have thought you'd've learnt your lesson

0:22:24 > 0:22:25with poor dear Bradley.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Dot, can you just give me a chance to explain?

0:22:27 > 0:22:31And listen to more of your lies? I don't think so.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34- Tell her, will you?- Tell her what? Frankly, I'm confused.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36Me an' all, Max. Want to explain this one again?

0:22:36 > 0:22:39I thought you said this was going to be boring.

0:22:39 > 0:22:40Bianca!

0:22:40 > 0:22:44It's simple. Uncle Max was getting married to Aunty Tanya again,

0:22:44 > 0:22:46and then that lady turned up

0:22:46 > 0:22:49and said she was already married to Uncle Max, so they had to

0:22:49 > 0:22:52cancel the wedding and then Uncle Derek dropped down dead.

0:22:52 > 0:22:53Shush, Tiffany!

0:22:53 > 0:22:56What? She's right, that is, well, that is what happened.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59No, it's not exactly what happened, thank you, Lauren.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02Joey! You came.

0:23:03 > 0:23:04Thought you were busy.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Come and sit down, the food's just got here.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11Grandma Dot, this is my brother, Joey.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Your brother?

0:23:14 > 0:23:16- Yeah.- What, Derek's boy?

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Yeah. Why, what's wrong?

0:23:19 > 0:23:22But THEY are cousins.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25Dot, can we just do this another time, yeah, please?

0:23:25 > 0:23:28- You knew? - Knew what? What's she talking about?

0:23:28 > 0:23:31- Nothing, just ignore her, all right? - Are Lauren and Joey together?

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Lauren and Joey what?

0:23:34 > 0:23:35Seriously?

0:23:35 > 0:23:36Lauren and Joey what, Mum?

0:23:39 > 0:23:43Eurrgh! That's like me kissing Abi on the mouth.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Morgan, stop it.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48What, no Bible quote for this one, Dorothy?

0:23:48 > 0:23:51It isn't about religion. It's not healthy.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Eww! This is awful, she's going to hate it.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Pops, come on, babe, all right? This is her favourite.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07One bite of this and Mrs B is going to regret

0:24:07 > 0:24:10staying away so long, OK?

0:24:15 > 0:24:17Makes you wonder what Max and Tanya are playing at.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Make sure you brush your teeth.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Don't try and trick me with chewing gum.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23It's not like it's incest. They're not breaking the law.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25It's a bit creepy though, innit?

0:24:25 > 0:24:26Oh, come on, you can't tell me

0:24:26 > 0:24:30you wasn't sitting there thinking the exact same thing?

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Do you want to take your brother upstairs?

0:24:35 > 0:24:36I'll be up in a bit.

0:24:42 > 0:24:43You OK?

0:24:45 > 0:24:47They're ashamed of me, aren't they?

0:24:49 > 0:24:55Wow, if humiliating is on a scale, then what's just happened tonight

0:24:55 > 0:24:57is so far off it, we're on another street.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00Babe, it'll be fine, won't it? Honestly, it'll blow over.

0:25:00 > 0:25:04That's your response to everything, innit? Head firmly in the sand.

0:25:08 > 0:25:09About Oscar.

0:25:09 > 0:25:13I mean, Kirsty really was just passing when he fell off his bike.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15It's all right. I trust you.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Really?

0:25:24 > 0:25:26What did Ray want?

0:25:26 > 0:25:27What do you mean?

0:25:27 > 0:25:29I saw you talking to him.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Oh, nothing. He just fancies Kirsty.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Really?

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Yeah. I told him, you know, go for it.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47High maintenance! Can't guess who told you that.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49You saying it's not true?

0:25:49 > 0:25:53No. Are you saying you mind?

0:25:53 > 0:25:54No.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56SHE GIGGLES

0:26:05 > 0:26:09Kim? What is it? Has he said something to you?

0:26:09 > 0:26:11If he's upset you...

0:26:11 > 0:26:12Oh, look, just drop dead!

0:26:18 > 0:26:19Denise?

0:26:19 > 0:26:21I'm not a damsel in distress, Ian.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26Do you need to stay at mine another couple of nights?

0:26:29 > 0:26:30Thank you.

0:26:34 > 0:26:35What is it, Arthur?

0:26:35 > 0:26:38We've got a bit of a surprise for you, Mrs B.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40- What?- Come through.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50Oh, I knew you wouldn't like it!

0:26:50 > 0:26:54It's only Fats...sorry, Arthur, Arthur said...

0:26:54 > 0:26:57Well, he said Battenberg was your favourite and we tried to

0:26:57 > 0:27:01follow the recipe, but it just, well, it didn't really work.

0:27:01 > 0:27:05I do like it. It's just you didn't use enough jam.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08That's all. That's the trick of it, you see.

0:27:08 > 0:27:13Still, you've got plenty of time to learn...

0:27:13 > 0:27:15since you're living in me house.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Oh, great. Bit of cake.

0:27:17 > 0:27:18Missed half the meal

0:27:18 > 0:27:21because Miss Hoity Toity here got on her high horse.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24That family of yours is falling apart at the seams.

0:27:24 > 0:27:26All you can do is sit back and make jokes.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29- And it isn't funny. - At least I was here.

0:27:29 > 0:27:33You can get out! Go on, get out.

0:27:33 > 0:27:35You've stepped into me shoes at the launderette.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38You make a pigsty of my house, but I'm back now and I won't stand it.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40So you've got your marching orders.

0:27:40 > 0:27:44You can pack your bags and you can get out of my house!

0:27:57 > 0:28:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd