01/04/2014

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0:00:32 > 0:00:34No hug for your old man?

0:00:36 > 0:00:39He's not a dad, Teen. He's money out of the tills.

0:00:39 > 0:00:43He's us losing punters. He's Linda going to stay back at her mother's.

0:00:43 > 0:00:44If it wasn't for him we wouldn't exist!

0:00:44 > 0:00:46The only reason he had kids is

0:00:46 > 0:00:48so he'd have someone to send round the shop for his fags!

0:00:48 > 0:00:50- I could knock you out. - He's an invalid.

0:00:50 > 0:00:54Roles reversed, OK? He would not take you in, Tina.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Look at us! He's been here two minutes and we're fighting.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Actually, he's OUR dad, so it ain't really any of your business.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01It's my home you've invited him in to!

0:01:01 > 0:01:05He's as nice as pie to your face but behind your back...

0:01:06 > 0:01:08What? Go on.

0:01:10 > 0:01:14Says you're not really into girls, you just need taming.

0:01:14 > 0:01:15A strong hand.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18What did you say he used to call her?

0:01:20 > 0:01:21A dog without a lead.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Harsh.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Did the trick, though. I'm calling him a cab.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40It's a term of endearment, love!

0:01:40 > 0:01:42You know me, I'm a gags man.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Just remember, she's the only one fighting your corner.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52You couldn't ask Linda to fetch me a cuppa...?

0:02:04 > 0:02:05Let's go.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Oh, no, back, back, back!

0:02:22 > 0:02:24I shouldn't have told you that.

0:02:24 > 0:02:25He can call me what he wants.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29Yeah? Well, how come you're sitting out here?

0:02:29 > 0:02:33Cos you always side with Shirley. He's my dad as well.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37He's just scared, you know?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Cos if we all get on, then what?

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Then we talk about mum, don't we?

0:02:41 > 0:02:44We talk about when we were kids and he don't like that.

0:02:44 > 0:02:45So he acts up.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Hello, love. You got a boyfriend?

0:02:50 > 0:02:53- You want another one? - HE LAUGHS

0:02:53 > 0:02:56Oi, can you not interfere with the punters, please!

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Take me home, Teen. I'm not begging.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05HE COUGHS

0:03:05 > 0:03:09If you want him gone, you have to take him back yourself.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12I ain't kicking him out cos he's too scared to be decent.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17All set? DOORBELL RINGS

0:03:17 > 0:03:19What you after, Ian, a guard of honour?

0:03:23 > 0:03:24Hello!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Hi.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29Come on in!

0:03:29 > 0:03:30- Masood...- Hi. How you doing?

0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Jane.- That's a bit formal.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Denise! How lovely of you to have us over.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40- It's my pleasure. - Shabnam. What are you doing here?

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- Just helping.- Ian. Why don't you show everyone through.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Starters are nearly done. - Yeah. This way...

0:03:48 > 0:03:50They've been out there for ages.

0:03:50 > 0:03:55They're working on him. He's a soft touch, your dad.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57No, not with this. He knows...

0:04:00 > 0:04:01Cancel the cab.

0:04:02 > 0:04:03It's not for long.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06The doctor said he only needs looking after for three weeks.

0:04:06 > 0:04:11Linda. I'll keep to myself. Help out where I can.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Lying there with my broken ankle, it was your faces I saw...

0:04:17 > 0:04:21I know I don't deserve it. But thank you.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24- You're not going to fall for that, are you?- It's decided.

0:04:24 > 0:04:25Three weeks.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32He is going to poison every part of this family.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35By the end of the week we're going to be at war, Mick!

0:04:35 > 0:04:36It'll be fine.

0:04:36 > 0:04:37Please, Mick, don't.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Careful... Are we going to carry him up?

0:04:42 > 0:04:44You look after the pub. I'll speak to Mick.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47You two are hilarious. He's tiny.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50If he kicks off, I'll, like, sit on him or something.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52The way Dad was going on,

0:04:52 > 0:04:57- I was expecting, like, Robocop - not Friar Tuck in a wheelchair. - Don't be taken in by that.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00When he used to drink he couldn't even tell us apart.

0:05:00 > 0:05:05No matter what we did he just cut into us...tearing us...

0:05:05 > 0:05:07until, one day, we just...

0:05:09 > 0:05:10..stopped talking.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14And there was silence at the table.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18It's going to happen here, you watch.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23And the worst thing was we started turning on each other.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Because that's his trick. He makes you hate yourself.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32We'll make it just like home up here, Dad. You'll love it.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36Colourful place you got. Are those...?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Yeah, yeah, they're parakeets, yeah. - Parakeets.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40There you go.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42- I got you.- All right?

0:05:47 > 0:05:51By the look of you, we won't be doing that again in a hurry.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53- Three weeks. - Yeah. If he's better.

0:05:53 > 0:05:54He'll be better.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Dad, Lady Di. Lady Di, Dad.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Best looking woman in the house!

0:06:02 > 0:06:03- After me.- Yeah, after you.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05DOG WHIMPERS

0:06:10 > 0:06:12This is so good.

0:06:12 > 0:06:17Yeah? It's just an old, you know, family recipe.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Should be hearing about the market closure by Easter.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Not holding my breath, though.

0:06:25 > 0:06:26Mint sauce, Jane?

0:06:26 > 0:06:28- IAN AND JANE TOGETHER: Oh, no, she don't...- Oh, no, I don't...

0:06:28 > 0:06:30- She's minty enough. - I'm minty enough.

0:06:30 > 0:06:31What are you two like?

0:06:32 > 0:06:34What's that? What does that even mean?

0:06:34 > 0:06:38- "Minty enough?"- It's, you know, like a play on words...you know...

0:06:38 > 0:06:42- "sweet enough".- Like, with sugar.

0:06:42 > 0:06:43- In tea.- Tea...

0:06:43 > 0:06:46SHE LAUGHS

0:06:53 > 0:06:55How's the restaurant coming along?

0:06:55 > 0:06:59Oh, I think we've finally decided on the Beales' logo at last!

0:06:59 > 0:07:03- When can we see it? - Well, we're not going to unveil it yet. It's top-secret.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Ooh. Ooh.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12We're all hanging on the edges of our seats here.

0:07:15 > 0:07:16SHE SIGHS

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Do you know what, I think I'm going to get a little top-up.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29- This really is delicious. - Thanks.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32I mean, on behalf of Denise.

0:07:38 > 0:07:39Hiya.

0:07:41 > 0:07:43What's going on in here?

0:07:45 > 0:07:46A-ha...

0:07:48 > 0:07:52Do you remember? I always used to call you my Jessica Lange.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Only hoping that I'd call you my King Kong.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59- Do you fancy it? - We never did get to the end of it. - Too busy snogging, that's why.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03- Where are the kids?- Sent them out for something to eat with Bianca.

0:08:05 > 0:08:06Come on, sit down.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10No, I'm going to go and see Max. He's got his genetic testing tomorrow.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Oh, Carol. Come on, that's nothing, is it?

0:08:12 > 0:08:14It's only taking a bit of blood. He'll be all right.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Come on, sit down. I got popcorn. Nice bottle of wine.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19We can have a nice romantic night in.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21I think we're a long way from being romantic, David.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28SIREN BLARES

0:08:30 > 0:08:32I thought Sharon was going to bed down here for the night.

0:08:32 > 0:08:36Oh, wow, I can see the hipsters working their 'taches in here.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Hipsters? It's a bit small, innit? - But it's all ours.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Listen up! Ground rules! Oi!

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Sharon's got this place just right for tomorrow

0:08:44 > 0:08:49- so we put back what we drink and we leave the place exactly... - SHE GROANS

0:08:49 > 0:08:50..exactly as we found it. Agreed?

0:08:50 > 0:08:52THEY ALL EXPRESS AGREEMENT

0:08:52 > 0:08:55Good! Cos Phil Mitchell finds out about this, I am a dead man.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00You and that phone!

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Just work. Trying to get us rich.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05- LOUD MUSIC STARTS - Lola, what have I just said? Can you turn it down?

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Sharon?

0:09:13 > 0:09:17- I can't get through to this delivery company.- Thought they was coming in the morning?

0:09:17 > 0:09:21Yeah, well, I need to double check. Not much of a cocktail bar without any mixers, is it?

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Sharon, they'll come! You know what you're doing.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25You've been in the game years, ain't you?

0:09:25 > 0:09:26There might be a few glitches along the way

0:09:26 > 0:09:29but anything goes wrong, you'll deal with it, easy, won't you?

0:09:29 > 0:09:31You trying to get back in my good books?

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Why? Am I not there already?

0:09:33 > 0:09:37Not quite. So how do you fancy christening The Albert?

0:09:37 > 0:09:41Before the punters get their grubby hands on it tomorrow...

0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Come on, come through. - OK. Thank you.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49- You don't mind, do you? I'm just finishing my dinner.- You don't do that every night, do you?

0:09:49 > 0:09:51What?

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Oh, you're worse than Liam. Put that phone away.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Oh, it's Lauren. She's out for her birthday.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59Just waiting for that call from A&E.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04She'll be all right. She's been around alcohol before.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05- I'll stick the kettle on. - All right.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Apparently, it's all about the snappy hand movements.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15So you look like you're doing something impressive...

0:10:15 > 0:10:16Don't... Don't do that.

0:10:17 > 0:10:22- Have you actually studied mixology or is this just guesswork? - Peter, shut up, he's really good!

0:10:22 > 0:10:23MUSIC TURNED UP

0:10:23 > 0:10:26Can you turn that music down?

0:10:26 > 0:10:27Don't do this and don't do that.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30- Can we actually go somewhere we can have some fun?- This is fun.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33There you go. Use a beer mat...

0:10:35 > 0:10:36Ah, the good old mocktail.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39What happens if have too much vitamin C, guys?

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Nothing, babe - not buzz-wise, anyway.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Happy days.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46Look, I can't drink that. Have you got any cider?

0:11:03 > 0:11:05So what's it like working together again?

0:11:05 > 0:11:07- Just like the good old days? - Yeah.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Yeah. It's not exactly like them.

0:11:12 > 0:11:13No, not exactly, but...

0:11:13 > 0:11:16We know how to work in tandem, don't we?

0:11:16 > 0:11:20What he means by that is I ignore his moods and get on with it.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24All right, I admit it. I can be a difficult partner.

0:11:24 > 0:11:25But I aim high.

0:11:25 > 0:11:26Partner now.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29He says boss when you're not around.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Oh, old habits...

0:11:31 > 0:11:33So, come on, you must have loads of old stories

0:11:33 > 0:11:35working together over the years.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Really? Really, stories about a cafe?

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Things have gone down in that cafe, believe me.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Yeah, and some things are best kept secret.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Yeah.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48You know, you don't want to bore our guests to tears, do you?

0:11:51 > 0:11:52Denise, is everything OK?

0:11:52 > 0:11:54Can anyone smell burning?

0:11:54 > 0:11:56The chicken!

0:12:02 > 0:12:04VOICES ON TV

0:12:04 > 0:12:05Here you go.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Urgh!

0:12:14 > 0:12:17That's disgusting. You never could make a cup of tea.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Your way takes ages. Faffing about with all that milk.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21No, you don't put the milk in first, Carol,

0:12:21 > 0:12:24cos the tea bag don't infuse, does it?

0:12:24 > 0:12:25How you feeling about tomorrow?

0:12:27 > 0:12:29It'll be all right. Only a scratch.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32Well, makes you think, doesn't it, about the kids? It did with me.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Honestly, that tea bag.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37Packaged in India and then flown 4,000 miles to be mullered by you.

0:12:37 > 0:12:38Do you want me to come with you?

0:12:40 > 0:12:42What, you not had enough of hospitals lately?

0:12:42 > 0:12:45You know, a little while back, Tanya would have gone with you.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Or even Kirsty... - What's that supposed to mean?

0:12:47 > 0:12:50It's just bad timing. You not having anybody.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53I got the girls! Well, I ain't got them tonight.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Not tomorrow either?- Why are you worrying about tomorrow for?

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Everything's fine, Carol. The girls are happy. Business is good.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02And you - you're supposed to be living in the present.

0:13:02 > 0:13:06- Yeah, well, I'd be at home with David watching King Kong. - You should be there.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Instead of round here, trying to get me worked up about tomorrow.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12Honestly, just live in the present.

0:13:12 > 0:13:13Yeah, where I've got cancer?

0:13:13 > 0:13:16No. Where you've got a fighting chance.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Unlike that cup of tea.

0:13:20 > 0:13:21I'll make a fresh one.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Maybe we should go in there and help.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35No. Denise told me I couldn't interfere.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40No reason why you couldn't though.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44More wine?

0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Oh, no, I don't think...- Come on.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53It's ruined. The whole thing.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55I thought you were meant to be helping me.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Not helping Ian and Jane just reminisce all night!

0:13:58 > 0:13:59I cooked everything for you!

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Yes, and now it's burnt to a crisp, innit?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05Is there a problem here?

0:14:05 > 0:14:07Actually, we could use your help. Chicken's...

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Right, well, look, you've made this delicious curry sauce.

0:14:12 > 0:14:13We could go vegetarian?

0:14:13 > 0:14:16No. No, because there's not enough veg, is there?

0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Of course there is... You've got a courgette...- Yes.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21- And look at that, you've got two onions.- That's a real feast, that(!)

0:14:21 > 0:14:22We don't need much.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25Look, it's my dinner and if I say there isn't enough...

0:14:31 > 0:14:33I think Masood's making things worse!

0:14:34 > 0:14:37Ian, Denise seems really on edge.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40All I know is this wouldn't have happened with you.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44It was fun, weren't it?

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Talking about the old days in the cafe.

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Yeah. Happy memories.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Tell me you haven't been thinking about that kiss.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11Denise has just popped out for a takeaway.

0:15:11 > 0:15:12You are joking?

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Peter, I'm going to grab something to eat.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Take that out, would you? And use the chippy's, yeah?

0:15:27 > 0:15:28Thanks.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34- Try to relax, babe. - This was a big mistake.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Yeah, but look, everyone's having a right laugh.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Yeah, but it's me that loses his life. This is like Sharon's baby.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Which means it's Phil's baby, more or less. And if they knew... - MUSIC TURNED UP

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Peter, can you TURN IT DOWN?!

0:15:44 > 0:15:46No!

0:15:49 > 0:15:51- Where's Lauren? - I'll clean it up. Don't worry.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54Do you know how many times Sharon's counted these glasses?

0:15:55 > 0:15:57- Where's Lola? - I don't know, Peter.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Hey, what you doing down here on your own?

0:16:10 > 0:16:11What is that?

0:16:16 > 0:16:18I dunno. I just wanted to join in.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24Lauren, have you seen how strong they're making these?

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Look. Honestly.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34In an hour or so, everyone is going to be throwing up

0:16:34 > 0:16:36and making a fool of themselves, and then you're just going to say,

0:16:36 > 0:16:39"Thank God that's not me - they look stupid."

0:16:44 > 0:16:47Yeah. You're always looking out for me, ain't ya?

0:16:50 > 0:16:51OK, yeah.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Let's just go back upstairs, yeah?

0:16:56 > 0:16:59MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:17:04 > 0:17:06You get more and more stunning.

0:17:06 > 0:17:10- Your cataracts are just getting worse. - HE LAUGHS HEARTILY

0:17:11 > 0:17:14I'm doing this for Tina, OK? It's important to her.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17- Right, Dad, here's your feather. - Yeah?

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Tina's going to bring in your blankets.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25Shirley ain't exactly making the customers feel welcome down there.

0:17:25 > 0:17:26You need anything else?

0:17:26 > 0:17:29You all right getting to the khazi of a night and all that, yeah?

0:17:29 > 0:17:34Quite all right, thank you. Nancy. Come over here.

0:17:34 > 0:17:35Let's have a look at you.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40Yeah. Haven't you turned into a beauty?

0:17:41 > 0:17:42Dunno 'bout that, Stan.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44Call me Grandad.

0:17:44 > 0:17:48I look like a useless old so-and-so, you might as well call me one.

0:17:48 > 0:17:49Whatever, Grandad.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52What's the time? Boxing's on in a minute!

0:17:52 > 0:17:54- Who's fighting? - Take an interest, do you?

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Watching men knock each other out? 'Course.

0:17:56 > 0:18:00- You one of her lot? - No, she ain't, Dad. Don't panic.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02She just knows her enemy.

0:18:03 > 0:18:07Well, come on, sit yourselves down and we'll do a bit of man-hating together.

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Can't stand either of these two fighters.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Right pair of chauvinists, they are!

0:18:13 > 0:18:16HE LAUGHS

0:18:21 > 0:18:23Can't believe you made me stop off for a meat pie.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25I've been at work all day, I'm starving!

0:18:25 > 0:18:28- I was trying to be spontaneous. - This is spontaneous.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Didn't know I was going to come in till I walked past.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34There's nothing wrong with the head on that. You don't like it, there's plenty other pubs.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44- It's quiet tonight. - Bet it ain't up there.

0:18:44 > 0:18:48We're about to have dinner. Mick wanted you to join us, actually.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Chinese?

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Yes, what else am I supposed to do? I've got to give them something.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Don't tell me. Another old family recipe(?)

0:19:17 > 0:19:20- All right, sweetheart. - Nice hat, Pops.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21- All right?- Give us a chip.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Oi! You want a chip, you have to earn your keep.- I said I want a chip.- No.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Come on, wind it in.

0:19:35 > 0:19:36Busted.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39So what is it now? Lauren, Lola, me...

0:19:39 > 0:19:42Is there anyone, apart from your sister, that you ain't been out with?

0:19:42 > 0:19:43- You two went out?- Yeah.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Oh, yeah, yeah. We "went out" didn't we? For about ten minutes!

0:19:46 > 0:19:48She's been out with everyone, though.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50She'll be trying to turn you next.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54It was a joke!

0:19:54 > 0:19:55'Scuse me.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57Whit, it was a joke!

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Delicately handled.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Help me with this and you can have a chip.

0:20:10 > 0:20:11Oh, no.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18Peter, he just... He didn't mean to upset you.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21It's all right. No-one ever does.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31- What you doing!? - Come on, Johnny.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Johnny?!- Run!

0:20:35 > 0:20:36Come on, Peter!

0:20:39 > 0:20:41- What's got into you?- Lo? - SHOUTING

0:20:50 > 0:20:53That's it, run, boy. And you keep running an' all!

0:20:59 > 0:21:04I'm proud of you, son. All this. Everything we never had.

0:21:04 > 0:21:09Stability. Parakeets...

0:21:09 > 0:21:11And whose fault was the lack of stability?

0:21:13 > 0:21:17You got to stop blaming your mother some day.

0:21:17 > 0:21:18Was hard in those days.

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Without Sylvie.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23Shirley did her best, didn't you, Shirl? But she was young.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26She was great! She always had our dinner on the table.

0:21:26 > 0:21:27She always had us ready for school.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Wouldn't catch me doing that for Johnny.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31There's that maternal instinct again(!)

0:21:31 > 0:21:35You had your moments, eh, Shirl? Some better than others.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36We all struggled.

0:21:37 > 0:21:43Yeah. But like I said at the time, it wasn't your fault.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45What weren't? Sylvie leaving?

0:21:46 > 0:21:49Yeah, well, you don't need to drag that up now, do you?

0:21:49 > 0:21:52What with you being on your best behaviour.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55- There he is!- Johnny...

0:21:55 > 0:21:59- You OK?- What's the matter, boy? You look ill.- Is this the boy?

0:21:59 > 0:22:03No. No, I just... Er... Whitney tried it on with me.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04What's the matter with that!?

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Me and girls don't really mix.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Sorry, who is that?

0:22:08 > 0:22:10Oh, this is Stan, this is your grandad.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12And he's another woofter?

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Oi. Oi, oi. Oi.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18First Tina. Now Johnny. Still not too convinced about Nancy.

0:22:18 > 0:22:22Lee's the only proper one and he'll probably come home in a body bag!

0:22:23 > 0:22:25What did you just say?

0:22:25 > 0:22:29- Excuse me. I've just got to... - Mum?

0:22:29 > 0:22:31You could make this easier.

0:22:31 > 0:22:32What have I said now?

0:22:39 > 0:22:42DVD PLAYS ON TV, DOOR OPENS

0:22:44 > 0:22:47- Is that you, Carol?- Yep.

0:22:48 > 0:22:49You're back early.

0:22:54 > 0:22:58- You're finally watching it through to the end, then.- Yep.

0:22:58 > 0:22:5938 years later.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05- She going to be all right? - Yes, so long as he doesn't drop her.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Do you think he will?

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Take more than a few bi-planes...

0:23:12 > 0:23:13..Jessica.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27Well, that's the old woman in bits.

0:23:28 > 0:23:29You're poison.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Poison!? Is that what you all think?

0:23:33 > 0:23:39- Not going to leap to my defence? - Why don't you just leave?

0:23:39 > 0:23:41If it weren't for me you'd be dead, son.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43What you talking about now?

0:23:43 > 0:23:46There'd be no fancy wallpaper. No bulldogs.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48- You owe me everything.- Don't.

0:23:48 > 0:23:52- What, just cos you're his dad? - Cos I saved his life once.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55Oh, here we go. What's this? Another one of your stories, yeah?

0:23:55 > 0:24:00This one's different. This is one you want to listen to.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03It was our faces you saw, weren't it, when you did your ankle?

0:24:03 > 0:24:06But not one of them faces will be at your funeral.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11Shirley! DOOR SLAMS SHUT

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Wow. She thought that would take a week.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17Same old Shirl. If it weren't for her

0:24:17 > 0:24:20you would have known your grandma.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21You would have known your mum.

0:24:27 > 0:24:31Dad. Why don't we go and get your stuff?

0:24:31 > 0:24:35- Oh, that can wait till tomorrow. - Let's give everyone a breather.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Let them get used to the playing field. Yeah?

0:24:38 > 0:24:39Yeah, s'pose.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44Baby, go and set your grandad's wheelchair up.

0:24:44 > 0:24:45Put it at the bottom of the stairs.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49Couldn't set one up for me an' all, could you?

0:24:49 > 0:24:50Good girl.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59I heard Denise come back ages ago.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04She's a bit...not herself.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08It's me. The ex.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10You're here with me.

0:25:10 > 0:25:11I don't blame her.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Ian does talk about you a lot.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19I mean, the whole time we were cooking, it was Jane this,

0:25:19 > 0:25:23Jane that. I'd hate you if I were her!

0:25:24 > 0:25:25I'll go see what's up.

0:25:31 > 0:25:34- Jane this, Jane that. - I'm sure it's not that bad.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Oh, come on, he fawns all over you!

0:25:37 > 0:25:40- He obviously wants you back. - Well, I don't want him back.

0:25:40 > 0:25:45Really? All those trips down memory lane...

0:25:45 > 0:25:48Clearly he thinks there's something on the cards.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Finally, dinner is served.

0:25:55 > 0:25:56Oh! 'Scuse us.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06I got three kids and six grandkids.

0:26:06 > 0:26:11Two of them are fluffy. That's... That's, what?

0:26:11 > 0:26:16That's 25%! I'm underpinning the gay community!

0:26:19 > 0:26:25I made some funny choices when I was younger, your mother included,

0:26:25 > 0:26:26but never that.

0:26:29 > 0:26:33You sure you made the right choice, giving Shirley a job?

0:26:39 > 0:26:40We here?

0:26:43 > 0:26:46This ain't Canning Town. My flat's miles away.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Surely this is Stratford?

0:26:55 > 0:26:56It's Stratford, isn't it?

0:26:57 > 0:27:01- Mick, what's going on? Mick, careful.- Get out.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03My ankle!

0:27:03 > 0:27:04Oww. What you doing!?

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Look, son, you're not leaving me!

0:27:11 > 0:27:13Son, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did...

0:27:14 > 0:27:19That thing with Lee. It was a joke! You can't do this!

0:27:19 > 0:27:21I haven't got nothing!

0:27:21 > 0:27:23No. You lost the lot.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45THUNDER RUMBLES