0:00:27 > 0:00:30MUSIC ON RADIO
0:00:39 > 0:00:42# It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... #
0:00:42 > 0:00:44RADIO OFF
0:00:44 > 0:00:46PHIL SIGHS
0:00:48 > 0:00:50DOOR OPENS
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Phil?
0:00:55 > 0:00:57I'm in here.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Have you only just got that out the freezer?
0:01:02 > 0:01:03I forgot. Sorry.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06I told you three times.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09We're going to have to get a blowtorch to it at this rate.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12We've got the goose being delivered today
0:01:12 > 0:01:14and I want everything all ready.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16And seeing as Ben has decided to spend Christmas Day with us,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19I thought I'd get some more potatoes in.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20DOOR SQUEAKS
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Phil?
0:01:29 > 0:01:30So, is the review up yet?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32There you go - there it is.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Right, what does it say?
0:01:33 > 0:01:35"Dickens - The Disaster Movie.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40"This Christmas classic performed by the Walford Players
0:01:40 > 0:01:42"makes you want to fast-forward to the New Year.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44"Writing aside,
0:01:44 > 0:01:48"this is one of the most hilarious productions I have ever seen."
0:01:48 > 0:01:50There you go. See, it's not that bad, then, is it?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52I don't think they meant that as a compliment, Kush.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Oh, well. At least it can't get any worse, eh?
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Well...
0:01:57 > 0:02:02"The Ghost of Christmas Present, played by Carmel Kazemi,
0:02:02 > 0:02:07"was performed with as much energy as a coma victim." DONNA LAUGHS
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Oh, now, that's just cruel.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12"And as for the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come..."
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Give me that. Give me that. Here we go.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17"..not even Kush Kazemi's bulging biceps can distract you from
0:02:17 > 0:02:19"his total lack of stage presence..."
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Total lack of stage presence? What's that joker on about?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I think we've just heard enough of that now.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- I hope you're pleased with yourself. - Well, don't have a go at him.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Come on, Denise,
0:02:30 > 0:02:34it's not like any of us actually wanted to do this play, is it?
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Can you believe that?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Maybe they're right.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Come on, look.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I know that yesterday didn't exactly go according to plan,
0:02:50 > 0:02:52but that's no reason to throw the towel in now, is it?
0:02:52 > 0:02:56We don't have a director. Nor a cast, for that matter.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I can handle that rabble.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00What about Derek?
0:03:00 > 0:03:05Well, you know, if anyone can sweet-talk him, it's you.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Lee.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27What, you ain't at work?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30No, the systems were down, so they just sent us all home.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Why are you coming out of the pawn shop?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36- What's with the 20 questions? - All right, I'm only asking.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38You look like you've been busy.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Yes, I have. I got them expensive crackers for Sunday.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- How expensive? - Well, why does that matter?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46As long as it gets your mum off my back.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- No, no, no, she don't like those ones.- What?
0:03:49 > 0:03:52She's probably got loads leftover from last year anyway.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- So you might as well take them back. - Do you know what? I'm sick of this.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- Oi, oi, oi, Whit... - I was really excited about our first Christmas together.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00And do you know what? I wish I hadn't bothered.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Hey.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14I'm just an old fool who should've known better.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17That makes the two of us, then.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26I was happy in Eastbourne, pottering about by the sea.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29So why did you come back, then?
0:04:31 > 0:04:37After Earl died, I started to become tired of my own company.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42I suppose I just wanted to feel needed again.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45So you came back to Walford?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I had some very happy memories here.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Or I did have.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Patrick, you are a good man.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04I'm just sorry that this didn't work out.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07You know what today is?
0:05:09 > 0:05:1312 years to the day since I lost my eldest son Paul.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I'm sorry.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19That's why I feel I'm living two lives.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Mine and his.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26That's why I think I owe it to him to...
0:05:28 > 0:05:32..to have another go. Because I'll tell you,
0:05:32 > 0:05:36that boy - he never ever shied away from anything at all, you know.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Perhaps you should have a word with Johnny.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I'm sure he'll step up.
0:05:40 > 0:05:45What would your Earl say if he was here now?
0:05:46 > 0:05:50He'd tell me to stop being an old queen and get on with it.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Sounds like a wise man.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54He was the best.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Make him proud.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06What about the cast?
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Denise got that all in hand.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11It seems I don't have much choice in it, do I?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20TROMBONE PLAYS LOUDLY: We Wish You A Merry Christmas
0:06:23 > 0:06:24This better be good, Denise.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I've got them queuing round the corner for my sprouts.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29OK, listen!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Could...? Sorry... Just, do that somewhere else, please?
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Thank you.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Right, OK, listen, everybody.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40I know that last night wasn't exactly a triumph...
0:06:40 > 0:06:42No, it was a disaster.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44I've never been so humiliated in my life.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Yeah, well, I find that very hard to believe.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49I'm sorry?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Look, I think all Denise is asking is that you give the show
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- another chance.- Not on your life.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Nah. I'd rather have my plums cut off.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Right, so that's it, then? The play's just off?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Well, let's look on the bright side.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05We can all get on with Christmas now, can't we? Lovely.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07TROMBONE PLAYS: We Three Kings
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- Someone's been busy. - Don't you start and all.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Whack that juke box on, Johnny boy.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- Christmas has officially started. - Someone's in a good mood.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Well, what's not to love? I've got my family wrapped round me,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I've just had a lovely little pay-out from the insurers
0:07:26 > 0:07:29and I ain't got to do that poxy play any more.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31MUSIC: Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Whit?- Yeah?- Fancy pulling a few shapes with me, girl?
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- No, I don't feel like it. - Oh, come on, everyone loves... - Mick! I mean it!
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Sorry. What's the matter?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I'm just trying to sort out Christmas Day, right? And Lee...
0:07:41 > 0:07:43What's he'd done now? What's he done?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45He just keeps digging at me.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47I'm starting to think he don't want to spend it with me at all.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50What're you talking about? Course he does.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53He keeps giving me orders from Linda but I know they're from him.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58Yeah, well, the thing about L and Christmas is that she's...
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Give me a word, Johnny.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Monster?
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Yeah, she just likes things done in a particular way.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Her way.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12So Lee, bless him, he's probably just caught in the middle of it all.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13Yeah, well, fine,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16but I just wish he'd be a bit more enthusiastic about the whole thing.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Listen, I'll have him squealing like a kid on Christmas Eve - guaranteed.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22I don't know why you didn't leave them to me.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Because, believe it or not, I do know how to cook, Babe.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- What've you got there? - Mince pies fresh out the oven.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Well, go on, then. Tuck in.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Johnny, you going to have a bang on one?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- I've just eaten, Mum. - Three pints please, Trace.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Ben, boys, want a nice complimentary mince pie?
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Mick.
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Oh...
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Good weight on them. Good weight on them.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Oh!
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Honestly, that is, that is a pie and a half.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Well, there's plenty more where that came from.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13All right?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yeah.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17We just finished our last motor for the day,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21so I thought I'd bring the lads down here for a Christmas pint.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22Jerome will be here in a bit.
0:09:22 > 0:09:27Yeah, well, you've worked hard. You deserve it, don't you?
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Do you want to join us?
0:09:39 > 0:09:40I've come to give you this.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Call it a Christmas bonus.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48This is too much.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52I just want you and the lads to have a good time.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Ben...
0:10:09 > 0:10:10..happy Christmas.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Happy Christmas.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Listen... - Me and you. Upstairs. Now.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32How many are you expecting tomorrow?
0:10:32 > 0:10:34That launderette has been part of the community
0:10:34 > 0:10:37for as long as I can remember
0:10:37 > 0:10:40and I'm pretty sure that none of this will go to waste.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51I've got to hand it to you and Whit.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55From what I hear, you know, we're in for a right little result on Sunday.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Mum don't seem to think so.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Don't worry about your mother - I'll deal with her.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04She'll be on her best behaviour.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07And then afterwards, we were thinking of leaving
0:11:07 > 0:11:10you and Whit on your jack, you know, have a bit of time together.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I think she'd rather leave when you do.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Oh, shut up.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Listen. No-one said marriage was going to be easy.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I just feel like I'm always disappointing her.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26You've got to stop all this.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29You put a roof over her head.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31You put food in her belly. She sees how hard you graft.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I mean, who'd have thought it?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36My boy, you know, the flash City geezer.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Give it a couple of years - you'll be watching the polo,
0:11:39 > 0:11:40you'll have a little cottage
0:11:40 > 0:11:43and you won't have no time for me and your mother,
0:11:43 > 0:11:44because, you know, you'll be all posh and that.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47It ain't a flash City job, all right?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48What're you talking about?
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I work in a call centre, Dad.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56And I hate every minute of it.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Ah, here she is. Our ambassadress of goodwill.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06I take it everyone's onboard for tonight?
0:12:06 > 0:12:09I tried. But I'm sorry, they're not budging.
0:12:09 > 0:12:10But we're sold out.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I guess we have to just give people their money back.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14All that hard work...
0:12:14 > 0:12:17I guess community spirit just isn't what it used to be.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22You could be flipping burgers for all I care.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26All that matters is that you're a good husband to Whit.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I'm trying.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32How do you think I got where I am?
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Do you think I did that without ballsing things up? I mean...
0:12:35 > 0:12:37be honest.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Secrets just eat up at you,
0:12:40 > 0:12:43they just eat away at you.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48You've got to deal with things together in a relationship.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Do you think...
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Do you think me and Whit could be like you and Mum?
0:12:54 > 0:12:58Yeah. Course. You're halfway there already.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Other than, obviously, like, the looks and all that, you know.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06You having a laugh? With that derby? Look at it, look.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- Look at it. - You want some? Eh?
0:13:09 > 0:13:13What, cos you fought in Afghanistan? I'd still iron you out. Derby!
0:13:16 > 0:13:19I just want to make Whitney proud.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20I know you do. And you will.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29I'll get Christmas out of the way and then I'll tell her everything.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Good boy.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Now, we'd better slip back downstairs
0:13:36 > 0:13:40before Whitney and your mother have a tear-up over party hats.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Lee.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51You're my first-born
0:13:51 > 0:13:53and as soon as I held you in my arms,
0:13:53 > 0:13:56it was like love at first sight.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Are you crying?
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Don't be so stupid. It's windy up here, ain't it? It's windy.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08My dad will never agree to it.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09So don't tell him.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Don't tell him what?
0:14:20 > 0:14:23It's a club night over in Mile End on Boxing Day.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Yeah, well. There'll be other nights, won't there?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31You just make sure you get a cab home.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37And no sneaking any booze in the house.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40I promise.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47You're only young once, ain't you? Enjoy yourself.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Dad, why don't you sit back down, yeah?
0:14:49 > 0:14:51I'll get you another cup of tea.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55No, I've got to get Sharon a Christmas present.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Besides, you don't need me cramping your style, do you?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03You've got a good head on your shoulders.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05You make sure you use it.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12Dad, are you all right?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Happy Christmas.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35MUSIC: I Believe In Father Christmas by Greg Lake
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Whit.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42L's got something she wants to say to you.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46I might have gone a bit overboard with some of my suggestions.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Silk napkins?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- You don't expect us to have paper ones, do you?- L.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Look, I'm sure that whatever you and Lee have got planned will be lovely.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Yeah, and what I will say is I can't wait to smash that Arctic roll.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- Is that really a thing? I thought that was a joke.- L!
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Who can resist a bit of ice cream and sponge on Christmas Day, eh?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Hey, have you seen who's over there?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Yeah, just ignore them.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19What can I get you?
0:16:19 > 0:16:23An orange juice, a rum and a pint of bitter, please.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- Del. No hard feelings, eh? - No hard feelings?
0:16:26 > 0:16:29OK, just leave it, Patrick. They're not worth it.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Denise is right. You lot ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Yeah, all right, L, easy. - That goes for you and all, Mick.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Lee and Whitney lost a baby earlier this year
0:16:41 > 0:16:44and if it wasn't for the doctors and nurses in that maternity ward,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46we'd have fallen apart.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50I mean, they're in that place working every hour God sends and for what?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Hospitals are closing left, right and centre and yet you're all
0:16:53 > 0:16:56sat there too selfish to give a little bit back.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Listen. Derek.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06If you still want to do this thing, roll me in, yeah?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Yeah, me an' all.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13We've got an hour, all right?
0:17:13 > 0:17:17So we'd better get our kit on, cos we've got a show to do!
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Yeah, all right, Linda. I'll get him there as soon as I can.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Right, you better go upstairs and get your crutch.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33The play's back on.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Phil?
0:18:05 > 0:18:09I was just going to lock up for the night.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15I'll stick the kettle on, then, shall I?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22BELL RINGS
0:18:22 > 0:18:24What am I supposed to say to him?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Nothing. You've got the power, remember.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Mince pie, anyone?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Kathy, I need my cloak.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34I've only got one pair of hands, all right?
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Has anyone seen my bonnet?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- Abi! Abi! It must be back there somewhere!- Well, it ain't.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Yeah, Kath, what it is, you ain't got a spare needle and thread?
0:18:41 > 0:18:45- I've split my crutch again. - I'll do it.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Just patch it up as best you can, all right?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50No phones backstage. Derek's orders.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I thought Kim might've left a message from Montserrat, you see.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56She's probably on the beach sipping a pina colada.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57They reckon it's a full house tonight.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Yeah, I think word got around about Kush doing
0:18:59 > 0:19:01a nose-dive off the scenery.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Why ain't Phil here yet? Mum's waiting for him out front.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I'm sure he'll get here when he can.
0:19:06 > 0:19:07Right. Derek's looking for you.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Is everything all right?
0:19:11 > 0:19:15It's a time like this you remember you're on your own, don't you?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I couldn't miss your big moment, could I?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Right. Places everybody, please. Come on.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34MUSIC: Carol of the Bells
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Merry Christmas, Uncle!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45What's that miserable mush all about, eh?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47He's changed my lines again, ain't he?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50It's a time to be merry. Get a few scoops down you.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Merry? I'll tell you what Christmas is, shall I?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57It's a time for finding yourself a year older and not a penny richer.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59That is what it is.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Why don't you come and dine with us tomorrow?
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Cos the missus, she's cooked up a terrific bird.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Humbug.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I put an extra sugar in it.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Cos you look as though you need it. Watch your hand.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22I thought you'd be with Sharon.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25You know, watching Dennis and Louise in their Christmas play.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30I didn't feel like it.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34So you thought you'd take refuge in here instead?
0:20:35 > 0:20:41No, I just needed somewhere quiet to wrap this, that's all.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Are you sure that was the only reason?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49I just said, didn't I?
0:20:50 > 0:20:54I remember seeing Peggy, your mother, you know,
0:20:54 > 0:20:56just before she died.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00And she had that same look in her eye.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05I think you've been inhaling too much detergent, Dot.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- DOT CHUCKLES - I am praying for you.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but it ain't working.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Perhaps I'm praying the wrong way.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20I mean, I know it's hard, but you've got to be strong.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23I'm dying, Dot.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25You mustn't say that.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Yeah, well, it's true, though, ain't it?
0:21:28 > 0:21:32I mean, you mustn't give up. Sharon hasn't.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34And neither have your children.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Which is why they need to forget about me
0:21:37 > 0:21:39and just get on with their lives.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40And what do you mean by that?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Well, I'm just holding them back, that's all.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45They love you, Phil.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50I don't want them to see me like this, Dot.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Look at me. Look.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I can't do it any more.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04TRAIN RUMBLES OVERHEAD
0:22:06 > 0:22:07They're coming!
0:22:11 > 0:22:14You sit yourself down there, Tiny Tim.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Can we bring out the goose now? Mother's excelled herself this year.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23I've seen better cuts of meat at McClunky's.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24AUDIENCE LAUGH
0:22:24 > 0:22:27That's all they could afford.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Tell me about the little boy.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Why, his mobility is impaired, poor thing.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- And will he live? - I see an empty seat.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41If these shadows of the future remain unaltered,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43the child will die.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48I propose a toast. To Mr Scrooge.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50The founder of our feast.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52You're having a laugh, ain't you?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55I'd give him a piece of my mind if he was here now, the old skinflint.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57My dear. The children.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01Well, I'll drink to his health for your sake, not his.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04A Merry Christmas. His will be a very merry one indeed.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05And God bless us, everyone!
0:23:05 > 0:23:09MUSIC: Our House by Madness
0:23:11 > 0:23:14AUDIENCE CLAP ALONG
0:23:23 > 0:23:28You know, I've been thinking. Peggy was a bit of a coward.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31You what?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Well, the Peggy I knew
0:23:33 > 0:23:37would've fought that cancer with every fibre of her being.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Well, then, maybe I'm my mother's son.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42What do you mean by that?
0:23:42 > 0:23:47I mean, I want them to remember me for the man I was.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Not what this has turned me into.
0:23:52 > 0:23:57My Jim - he fought that stroke until his last breath.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00But then, he was more of a man than you.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Cheers for the tea.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Phil...
0:24:15 > 0:24:16..God be with you.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20That means goodbye.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Come on, Kush. Don't mess this up.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Leave him alone. He's trying his best, ain't he?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45You were saying?
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Tell me, Spirit. Why have you brought me to the churchyard?
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Wonderful, isn't he?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Well, answer me, man!
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Am I the man who lies here?
0:25:17 > 0:25:22Why show me this if I am past all hope?
0:25:22 > 0:25:28What can be a worse fate than lying in the ground unloved and forgotten?
0:25:30 > 0:25:36Please, tell me I can rid the writings from this stone.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49WILD APPLAUSE
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- Get in!- You were fantastic. Well done, everyone.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Don't forget - tomorrow night's the real test.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- We want to go out on a high, don't we, eh?- Right.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08I think a few lagers are in order, what do you reckon?
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Before you do that, I'd like to say something first.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15You know, when I had my stroke,
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I never thought I'd leave the house again.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20You're an inspiration to us all, Patrick.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24- Hear, hear.- There's two things I never thought I'd do.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Perform again.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28And what's the second one?
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Buy a round of drinks.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36So whatever you all want, the first drink is on me.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47And well done - not a drink in sight.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Derek, I meant to ask you.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53What are you doing on Christmas Day?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Well, my daughter's away and my son's at his in-laws.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59I thought I'd treat myself to a plum brandy and a nice film on the box.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03How would you like to spend the day with me, Libby and Denise?
0:27:04 > 0:27:06I don't know what to say.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09I should warn you, though. We've got a vegan.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13- Thank you. - I'll tell you, Earl was a lucky man.
0:27:23 > 0:27:24Someone's been busy.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Christmas, ain't it?
0:27:26 > 0:27:28So you've got to make an effort, ain't you?
0:27:28 > 0:27:31I don't think we've been introduced. Craig Washington.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33- I've just moved in with my girlfriend.- Lee Carter.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you back.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Actually, mate, I don't suppose you took delivery of
0:27:38 > 0:27:40a parcel the other day, did you?
0:27:43 > 0:27:44It was a VR headset.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47The courier reckoned he delivered it to someone in the flats.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49No, I can't help you, mate. Sorry.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51It's just it was a gift for my nephew.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56Well, I'll tell you what, if it turns up, I'll give you a shout.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04You said he'd be there.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Dad was acting really weird in the caff earlier.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Why? What did he say?
0:28:10 > 0:28:14It wasn't anything he said. He just seemed different, that's all.
0:28:17 > 0:28:18Your father's a law unto himself.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- What you got there? - It's from Dad.
0:28:25 > 0:28:26Phil?
0:28:29 > 0:28:33Wait here.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37Where the hell have you been?
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Denny is devastated.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42The least you can do is go upstairs and apologise.
0:28:42 > 0:28:43I'm not staying.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46What're you talking about?
0:28:46 > 0:28:50Just go and enjoy your Christmas. And don't worry about me.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52What's that supposed to mean?
0:28:54 > 0:28:57I just can't stay here.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03It's better for everyone this way.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05You know, I had you down for a lot of things, but
0:29:05 > 0:29:06a coward weren't one of them.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08Just let me go. Please.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12Fine. Walk out that door. Because, do you know what?
0:29:12 > 0:29:15I'm sick of you feeling sorry for yourself.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19We have done everything to try and help you here.
0:29:19 > 0:29:23- And I appreciate it.- No, you don't. Or you would stay here and fight it.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29Well, go on. Don't let us hold you back.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Go off and die for all I care, because I'm done with you.