0:00:26 > 0:00:27Oi!
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Oi, oi!
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Oi!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39All that waiting in and leaving Jane
0:00:39 > 0:00:42and they've only gone and given me a Hanukkah banner.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44How my supposed to wish Michelle bon voyage
0:00:44 > 0:00:46with a Happy Hanukkah banner?
0:00:46 > 0:00:50See my mother's still got that ugly twisted boat going on.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Why? What's wrong?
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Swear my eyes are getting longer and shorter.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56I mean, how does that happen?
0:00:56 > 0:01:00How can you lose your sight in both directions?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Don't talk and run, you'll get a stitch again, yeah.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06You know what? You watch, I need a pair of bins, son,
0:01:06 > 0:01:09for reading, for writing, for driving my motor.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12- Even for the custard. - Varifocals.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Nah, I'm knackered already. I need a pint, I think.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Need new staff.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Yeah, well, I'm going to need to win the lottery for that.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25I can't do alcohol in the week. Pearl's still up before 6am.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Little chaps, not good for sociable hours.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30You know, the amount of mornings I've had with me,
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Ollie and CBeebies.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- So that's about calories in one beer.- Oi, that's my metabolism.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37All I've had today is a banana and a smoothie
0:01:37 > 0:01:40and I've still got bigger lils than the old woman.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44- Lot of sugar in a smoothie, mate. - I had a sticky bun as well.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48I had a little bacon roll. Sausage. You know, an egg.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51It was only a little one.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- Hiya.- Hi.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Oh, lovely.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00- Good job I've got some points saved. - You don't need to be on a diet.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- I'm not on a diet.- OK.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- I didn't know you were a baker. - Oh, it's nothing.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- Get your fingers out! - She bought it.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Could you go and tell Phil and Ben, 45 minutes, please?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- Can't you text them?- Just do it.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Bossy cow.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20He's tired. Bless him.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22The amount of weddings and funerals we've had,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24there must be something in there.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Stace, look out the back.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Welcome home?
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- Not too early for a glass of wine, is it?- No.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Relax.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36We don't need Babe. We got this. It's just one little Italian night.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38I know that.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40You'll make yourself ill.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42If I stop I will fall asleep standing up.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Since Mum left, I've been flat out 24/7.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I mean, my entire social life has hit the deck and died.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Oh, tell me about it. PHONE MESSAGE ALERT
0:02:50 > 0:02:52And there's another gathering off my course I'm missing.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I have got exactly the same at the vets.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Tonight it's Jonah's birthday.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59One with the girlfriend-not-good-enough, right?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Yeah. And there's this meal right,
0:03:01 > 0:03:05and girlfriend-not-good-enough isn't going till later and everyone said
0:03:05 > 0:03:08you could see that Jonah wanted me there.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10The vets is like one big family, really.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11We tell each other everything,
0:03:11 > 0:03:15and this Christmas we bought the most massive tin of chocolates
0:03:15 > 0:03:19and everyone knows what everyone else likes so we save them all.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I got like ten strawberry creams.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I mean, I like nut better,
0:03:24 > 0:03:28but Baz also likes nut and she's the practice nurse so...
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Oh, there'll be other times.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36It's not like tonight would have been my special chance or anything,
0:03:36 > 0:03:40cos there's always a party or a drink and I would totally be invited
0:03:40 > 0:03:43to everything, but they all know I have two jobs.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Oh, I should have thought - Italian night.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Oh, it would have been perfect, wouldn't it?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Jonah could have had his birthday meal here.- Yeah.
0:03:54 > 0:03:59Just cos you work hard doesn't mean you can't be a fun person, Johnny.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07I'm sorry if I hit a raw nerve, Shirley.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09It was only meant to be a joke.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Depends on the joker that got her up the duff.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Baby showers are really American, aren't they?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Maybe a set of rainbow-coloured muslin squares and a keepsake box
0:04:17 > 0:04:19aren't the top of Denise's priorities.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21No.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24No, I can't say. She said don't say.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29They've taken her in for another scan.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- No.- Now?- Today?
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Why?- High blood pressure. Needs to be induced.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Possibility of...
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Well, there's high risks, aren't there, being a geriatric mum?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Geriatric?! So insulting!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Inducing, that's when they put the...
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Pessary thingy. Takes you from nothing into full-on contractions.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- I'd rather have a raspberry tea. - Curry.- Sex?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Oh, don't go there. I was nine days late with Shaki.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I was so scared of being induced,
0:04:55 > 0:04:59I made Umar work his way through the entire Kama Sutra in a weekend.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Oh, how lovely. I bet he thought all his Christmases had come at once.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- He's a Muslim. - Yes, I do know that, Shirley.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07I had so much water retention
0:05:07 > 0:05:11I was like one of those toy Weebles we had as kids.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Well, we just wobbled.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16And he never fell down.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19No, Sharon. School night. Oh, go on, then.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Well, it's like Honey said, you hit a certain age,
0:05:21 > 0:05:23and everything's just a bit slacker.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Baby just drops out. - Speak for yourself!
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Seriously, though, no wonder Denise was odd.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Hospital must have found a problem. and, I mean, at her age,
0:05:31 > 0:05:33we all know that chances of...
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- I'm not saying... - No, I know.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Janet is one of the very, very, best things that happened in my life.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45It would have shown up, though, Down's Syndrome, wouldn't it?
0:05:45 > 0:05:46No, not necessarily.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I'd have loved a little girl.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51As a sister for Denny, not instead of, obviously.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- Obviously. - Or a little boy. Matching dungarees.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Was hard enough getting pregnant once
0:05:57 > 0:06:00and now with all this going on with Phil.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Well, Sharon, statistically,
0:06:02 > 0:06:05your biological clock's got to be pretty much near up.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07I think you're right, Honey.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Some things are just not meant to be.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13And some secrets are meant to be told. Who's the father, Carmel?
0:06:13 > 0:06:14I don't know.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16- You MUST know.- I don't know.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Oh, look, I've found a leaving banner.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Give her another glass of wine. - Come on. Is it someone we know?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Of course it's someone we know!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30I'm telling you, I really don't know.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Patrick.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36How was the scan?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Why am I going to hang around after school just cos Hickey tells me to?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Maybe cos he's our head of year. - It's nothing.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- It's got to be something.- Yeah.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49He wants to shut his office door and tell me he fancies us, innit?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Louise is going to be gutted.- Nah.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56I told you, I'm not chirpsing Louise. She's frigid.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58It's not a stitch, it's an hamstring.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Not in your belly, mate.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Look, last thing you need to worry about is hair dye.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- Yeah?- Yeah. - Look, you got to own this, Mick.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Right, look, my 40th,
0:07:09 > 0:07:11last big bash before I met Kim.
0:07:11 > 0:07:16Power boating down the Thames, ten of us. Major rush.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Caning it all night.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21I even woke up at some girl's house in Surrey.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26The rack on her made you look like a double A cup, mate.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- Legend.- Yeah, well, you know.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Look, you got to do something other than visit your missus
0:07:30 > 0:07:33over the weekend though, right?
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Yeah, I just don't think a birthday bash is appropriate right now,
0:07:37 > 0:07:38you know what I mean?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Jack would love it. A few of the guys.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Poor guy looks like he could do with a good night out.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Do you know what, Vincent, we'll have a few boozes, all right.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- I'll see you later.- Yeah, see you.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Look, whatever you do for him, it's got to be on the small scale.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Right, so he does want something, then? Did he say that?
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- Well, he's only 40 once, right? - Wicked. Thank you.- No worries.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12See I told you. He DOES want something.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15So, I don't know, let's do a buffet and I'll get the karaoke out, yeah?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Fine.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26It's fine. I'm fine.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Fine - one of the most misleading words in the whole
0:08:29 > 0:08:31of the English language.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35- So what were they scanning her for then?- Oi, Gobalot!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37My ankles being swollen ain't turned me deaf.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39You know, with Carmel, you put a muzzle on it,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41she'd still spill, you know.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Denise, she was just worried about you.- Yes.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46And it was a really good secret.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I've told you all the baby's healthy and well.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Yep, strong heartbeat.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52When's that Michelle here then?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- It's nearly full term, so...- Libs.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57What?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It's a bit small.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05The midwife was right.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Well, you're a little bit small.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- They're going to induce her.- Oh.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14It's got to come out at some point, ain't it?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Why don't you get the father to speed things up?
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- Get him to pay you another visit. - What?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21- Oh.- Classy.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Sorry, what's this obsession with my sex life all of a sudden?
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Anyone would think you weren't getting any, Shirl.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Frankly, I'd rather have a cup of tea and a biscuit.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35So any more questions? My favourite position?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38My top ten lovers since 1997?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Do I look like I'm particularly gagging for it at the minute?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- So...- Well, really.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Is that the time?
0:09:54 > 0:09:55Michelle will be there any minute.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58And it'll be better if you give her the present yourself.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00We'll find you a nice quiet corner to sit in.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01I can't.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03We won't make you drink that lemoncello stuff.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07No, but I can't Ian, you see, cos Ethel, you know, Ethel esquire, she's missing.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10And I got to do my Christian duty.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14"To him what is afflicted, pity should be shewed from his friend", Ian.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15What?
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Job.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20That is chapter six, verse 14.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32That's it.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35You do not ruin Michelle's last night.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36Oh, you're telling me, are you?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Oh, come on, rein it in, Shirley.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42How can you possibly know that Buster is the father of her baby?
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Look at her. Denise. She's hiding something.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Yeah. Heartburn, probably. Braxton Hicks.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52You know how uncomfortable it is in the last few days.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Sharon. It's so clear. Buster leaves. She leaves a gap.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Then suddenly, there it is - mysteriously pregnant.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Just because Buster's done a runner.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04You didn't even like him in the end.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06He was having it off with somebody round here, behind my back.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08He admitted it to Mick.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09What?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13And this isn't about 'like'. This is about him taking the rise.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16I mean, realistically, who else could it be?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Does Babe know what's happening in her kitchen?
0:11:18 > 0:11:19No, cos she ain't here.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Why?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Well, Ian's got some nibbles that need warming and I can't even make myself heard in there.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28Quite intimidating, ain't they, when you get a lot of them together?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Surprise!
0:11:36 > 0:11:38So yeah, me and Matt ended up staying at Luke's,
0:11:38 > 0:11:42had about two hours' sleep before uni, it was not ideal!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44I never knew you were so popular!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Mm! There's lots you don't know!
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Johnny!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49"Calm down", you said. "In the bag" you said.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51A gathering, in the kitchen?
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Did you ever even do your health and safety?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Word must have spread.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57We are running seriously behind here.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00All right, I'm on it. OK, I am, all right. Sorry.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Oh, give the man a break, will ya?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06How hard can it be to knock up a plate of pasta?
0:12:06 > 0:12:07You got to learn to chill out, love.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11You know that this is Babe all over -
0:12:11 > 0:12:14gets me to do all the leg work and then takes full credit.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17And timing is at the heart of good cooking, 'love'.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21Abs, Abs! Get off his back.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25You know, I got to say, Abs, I think you would be a lot happier
0:12:25 > 0:12:28if you stopped trying to control everything,
0:12:28 > 0:12:33making everything in your life fit to some unwritten down timetable.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Right... You're right.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40I'm, er, going to Jonah's Party.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42No, no, you can't.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45We write down a timetable so everyone knows where they're at, Ben.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48No silly mistakes, no missing something vital,
0:12:48 > 0:12:50like the fact you're gay...or whatever.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54So, excuse me.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58Here is the timetable - the pasta's already been on too long,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01the salads ain't made and your pizza dough's gone soggy.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Good luck(!)
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I think I've got a migraine.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Hey, hey. It's cool. It's all cool.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08MUSIC STOPS
0:13:17 > 0:13:18What is it?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Ah, it's a frog bag!
0:13:22 > 0:13:23It's never a frog bag.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Auntie Pauline used to have one on the kitchen door!
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, bless her. Dot must've got a whole load from 1984.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Did she say she was going to come in later?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33She can't make it. She's gone and got her torch out and she's gone off on one of her
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Christian missions.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Your flight is actually tomorrow, ain't it?
0:13:37 > 0:13:41I know you said "this week", but then what with you making so many calls, I didn't know if...
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Ah. She's changed her mind!
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Like I say - take the girl out the East End...
0:13:46 > 0:13:50So glad you were well enough to come, Phil. Wise words!
0:13:50 > 0:13:53It's like Peggy is right here and walking among us.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Honestly?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57You're completely right.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58I just didn't want to make a fuss.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Was going to slip away tomorrow morning.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Sorry to disappoint but the flight is booked and paid for.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Mark and Tim are both coming to pick me up from Pensacola airport.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Lucky old Timothy.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12You had enough?
0:14:12 > 0:14:13About a fortnight ago.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Phil!
0:14:14 > 0:14:17What my brother ever saw in your best mate, I don't know.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Well, it's true what they say, ain't it?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Absence does make the heart grow fonder, eh, Billy?
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Don't you believe it. Nothing'll have been ironed.
0:14:26 > 0:14:31No-one will have thought to have unpacked the dishwasher or refill the ice dispenser.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Goodness(!)
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I will spend the first five days I am back tidying up
0:14:35 > 0:14:38cos the cleaners never do as thorough a job as you do yourself,
0:14:38 > 0:14:39never mind the gardeners.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41You've got a cleaner?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Is it a ride-on mower? We had a friend had a ride-on mower.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45And a hot tub.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46No, no...
0:14:46 > 0:14:48We've just...
0:14:48 > 0:14:51put a lot of time into our house over the years, that's all.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I had a hot tub.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57It was a bit of a squeeze when the back gate and the back door was open...
0:14:57 > 0:15:01But there's more room in America, ain't there? Everyone's got a big house.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Yeah. And a gun. And a ranch...
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Just like everyone in London's met the Queen.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10I'll tell you what, though, your mum would crucify you for having a cleaner.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Least of my faults.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Why? What you done?
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Stayed away too long.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Don't you go leaving it another 20 years till you come back, though.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25No, the life you've made, Mum would be proud of you.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28We all are. I'll get some drinks, shall I?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Move on.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Girls like her don't stay at our sixth form, anyhow.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42September, she will be messing about at art college, wherever...
0:15:42 > 0:15:43What have I told you?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45No hanging about in the pub.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48All right, Mum, OK, I'm not four. No need to make a big deal.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Yes, Mrs Kazemi. Sorry, Mrs Kazemi.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Come on, Community Centre might be open...
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Oh. Charmer.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56You want to take a leaf.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58OK.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Lemonade and a lasagne, then it's revision.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04You can't start too early.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14My mum's right there!
0:16:14 > 0:16:17..going straight through there, there's an alleyway through there.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18What was he thinking?
0:16:18 > 0:16:21This never would have happened if Linda was here.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Trying too hard.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24It's just excuses, though, Mum.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28It's like, when are my sons going to learn to man-up and step-up?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30What?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Just talking about this, you know,
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I-tie night we're meant to be having, you know, Johnny,
0:16:36 > 0:16:39giving it all the "live like a native" spiel.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41I'll have to go and get Babe, won't I?
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Well, if you want to spend your time looking after Sylvie...
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Tina ain't been nowhere since before Christmas.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50She's gone to try this taekwondo.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53And Babe's going to charge you double.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55You keep jumping in to cover for them,
0:16:55 > 0:16:59your boys ain't going to learn any responsibility about anything.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Yeah, well, we ain't all like Buster, are we?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Johnny has promised us Italian food.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Let's wait and see what he's got, eh?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Yeah...
0:17:21 > 0:17:22MICROWAVE PINGS
0:17:22 > 0:17:24There...
0:17:24 > 0:17:25It's fine, they'll love it.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Champagne, please, Trace.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30OK. I'll text you my mobile number.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33If we can't have champagne on your last night, when can we?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- No, no, no, let me get it. - Don't be silly, it's fine.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Three bottles. To start with.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38Please.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42You sure you don't want me to call Dot?
0:17:42 > 0:17:43No.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46But I'm worried about her, Chelle. Serious, massive concerns.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47No, you are not.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50No. But can't you stay another few days?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53What? After this send-off? And presents.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Please.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56And your husband don't like me.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Well, my husband doesn't like anyone who's not a Mitchell.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02He don't like the Mitchells half the time - what's left of them.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07And since when have we let a little thing like
0:18:07 > 0:18:09a man get in the way of friendship, huh?
0:18:12 > 0:18:13You don't need me, Sharon.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16I don't need cake but it makes life nicer, don't it?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19When did we get so grown-up?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22We done all right, ain't we?
0:18:22 > 0:18:25We're survivors, Sharon.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Oh, yeah(!)
0:18:26 > 0:18:28BOTH CHUCKLE
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Are you having a laugh?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34What is this?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Don't know if I'm supposed to eat it or wash up with it.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39You get a bit twice the size on the high street.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Yeah, and half the price.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Lee, come here.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Dear, oh, dear. What a disaster.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Poor Babe will have heart failure.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50If I wanted to eat microwave muck,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I'd have stayed at home and made Billy cook.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54Yeah. What?
0:18:56 > 0:18:58LAUGHTER
0:18:58 > 0:18:59It's fine.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I can still manage to go to the toilet on my own.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Right, let's be straight...
0:19:05 > 0:19:08it's a joke, innit, so I've got something special planned for
0:19:08 > 0:19:11you mob, don't you worry about that...
0:19:11 > 0:19:12ALL CHUCKLE
0:19:14 > 0:19:18ALL CHATTER
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Ethel?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Ethel esquire?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Have you found your own way back?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Oh, dear.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57Ethel...?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Ethel esquire?
0:20:00 > 0:20:02DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE
0:20:05 > 0:20:07CHEERING
0:20:07 > 0:20:08To old friends!
0:20:08 > 0:20:09And new ones.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Where is Michelle?
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Denise...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48You had an affair.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49What?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51With Buster.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54I actually just need to take a wee, so...
0:20:54 > 0:20:55The father of your baby.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Whoa. What?
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Did you think I wouldn't work it out?
0:21:00 > 0:21:01I know, Denise.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07All those meetings about CostMart, that was just a cover-up, wasn't it?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09And then I wa...
0:21:11 > 0:21:15I was telling you all about him, telling you what I thought,
0:21:15 > 0:21:18when all the time you two were having sex!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Shirley...
0:21:29 > 0:21:32I've got a bladder the size of a walnut.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34So, if you want me to piddle all over this floor,
0:21:34 > 0:21:37you just carry on blocking that door.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50DENISE SIGHS
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Have a bit of thought, will you. Run a tap or something.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04I do know that I wasn't very nice to him...
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Tell you that, did he? Pillow talk?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Tell you that I was a hard-faced cow?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Yeah, well, maybe I am. But...
0:22:18 > 0:22:19He didn't deserve "nice".
0:22:22 > 0:22:23He was selfish.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Selfish man that was only happy when he was centre of attention.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31And now he's done a bunk, but you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Selfish.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Hev... She sussed him years ago.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44And you know what Hev was like, when...
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Oh, please.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52You know that Heather weren't the only mate you've ever had, you know.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I did not sleep with Buster!
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I wouldn't.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Anyway, you can think what you want, cos, you know what?
0:23:12 > 0:23:13I've got enough stuff on my mind.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16And it actually ain't any of your business.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Like what?
0:23:21 > 0:23:24What's the secret...? Cos I know there is one.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29If you're not covering for Buster, then...
0:23:30 > 0:23:31..who is the father?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46It was just a one-night stand.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48SHIRLEY SCOFFS
0:23:48 > 0:23:53You know what, you're really not that interesting.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56But don't come to me when you need a baby-sitter.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Yeah?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Or you want to have a coffee and a chat and a laugh, because you're
0:24:00 > 0:24:04fed up being up to your eyeballs in breast pads and dirty nappies!
0:24:05 > 0:24:08That's another thing Hev always said,
0:24:08 > 0:24:11when you have a true mate, you cut the bull!
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20I'm not going to need any of that!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Why not?
0:24:26 > 0:24:27DENISE SOBS
0:24:27 > 0:24:29You don't have to cry about it.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34No.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36No, I don't.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38It's just...hormones.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53You got to promise me...
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Promise me you don't say anything.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01Swear it, Shirley, because...I'm trusting you.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09I swear.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16It's Phil's.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21It's Phil Mitchell's son.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27You're carrying his boy?
0:25:32 > 0:25:33But, when?
0:25:35 > 0:25:38I mean he's been at death's door, I mean, what the hell?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40God, he's a tart...!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Do you want to talk to me about this?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Yes. Yes.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Yeah, but I can't. I can't.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Not now...
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Shirley, I know that you and Phil - you've got history.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02But...
0:26:02 > 0:26:05You've got to keep it buttoned, you cannot tell anyone.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09You swore. You can't say anything. Not yet.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13The grief....
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Well, you get it now.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24This is seriously complicated, Shirley.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Can you imagine how Phil...
0:26:32 > 0:26:37You just... You gotta let me just get through this next bit...
0:26:37 > 0:26:39the way that I want to.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Please.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17DISTANT LAUGHTER