21/03/2017 Part One

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0:00:25 > 0:00:29Wakey-wakey, birthday boy. Woo, Ben!

0:00:31 > 0:00:33Hello!

0:00:33 > 0:00:34What's that?

0:00:34 > 0:00:37It's a sexy fireman, innit?

0:00:37 > 0:00:40The bird in the shop said she preferred a sexy copper, but I said

0:00:40 > 0:00:43there's nothing sexy about coppers where we're from, know what I mean?

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Plus strippers, they cost a fortune.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49Right, I've been thinking. And we are having a house party tonight.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54House party? What do you mean, house party?

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Well...

0:00:57 > 0:00:59..it's like a party.

0:01:00 > 0:01:04In a house. This house, for you, tonight.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07No.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09No, I agreed to the Vic.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Well, Abi said there's a quiz in the Vic.

0:01:11 > 0:01:15Which means it's no place for your 21st. That is where fun goes to die.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Then we'll go to The Albert.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Jay, I am not having a party in this house. It's agg.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Well, it's too late now. I've sent the text out.

0:01:23 > 0:01:24Who did you text?

0:01:24 > 0:01:26The usual.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29And I'll cover for you at work so you can sort out all your family stuff.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33- Tom's going to give me a hand. - Tom? Jay, the bloke's a nightmare.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Yeah, but he's good with cars.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Yeah, nicking, not fixing.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40Listen, you just leave Tom to me and you get your beauty sleep.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43Right? Because he is the closest you've seen

0:01:43 > 0:01:45to a bit of action since we've moved in.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48There you go. Come on, liven up.

0:01:57 > 0:02:01You sure? Jay only did text me last night.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04- I could do with a drink. - Go. You deserve a night out.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06It's a quiz. We'll deal with it.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07Anyway, I can do all the questions.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09And then you can work today and relax later, can't you?

0:02:09 > 0:02:11I like quizzes.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16So, we've had Lady Di-arrhoea.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18What do you think it's going to be this week?

0:02:18 > 0:02:22What do you think it's going to be, a power cut, a fire,

0:02:22 > 0:02:24you know, maybe a flood?

0:02:24 > 0:02:26No, we'll be fine. We'll have fun.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Tea's just a little bit hot.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31WHITNEY LAUGHS

0:02:31 > 0:02:33You're doing a pub quiz?

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Didn't you end up with the wooden spoon last time?

0:02:35 > 0:02:36No, no, no.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39You see, now, that was a team issue, you see.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42There's no "I" in team but there's an "I" in Ian

0:02:42 > 0:02:45and I ended up carrying him.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48And Fatboy was a captain with no plan.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53But me, on the other hand, I have a plan.

0:02:53 > 0:02:54You have a plan?

0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Yes, I do.- OK.- Specialist subjects.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01So Vincent, he handles the sports, you handle the book stuff,

0:03:01 > 0:03:05and I handle the boybands and current affairs.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Current affairs? You're...?

0:03:07 > 0:03:12- Yeah.- OK.- Fashion, Kardashian. My finger is never off the pulse,

0:03:12 > 0:03:13believe me.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17Well, that is brilliant. But I'm sorry, I'm busy right now.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Busy doing what? You ain't got a job.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22I am busy finding a career. I'm busy with assignments.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25I ain't got time to get shown up in some pub quiz.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27When have I ever shown you up?

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Well, Patrick is going to come over to mine to look after Pearl,

0:03:32 > 0:03:34so you'll be by yourself.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Come on, let your hair down. Look, we can be Eggheads...

0:03:39 > 0:03:42but we can be sexy Eggheads.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Another time, OK?

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Fine, suit yourself.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49- But if you get bored you know where we are.- Uh-huh.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Beep, beep, beep!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55They're lovely. Thank you.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57We didn't know what to get you.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59They cost a fortune, they did.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02And it was our pleasure.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06So... Got anything planned?

0:04:06 > 0:04:09Yeah, we're just going to have some mates over.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11Oh, right? A party tonight? What time?

0:04:11 > 0:04:14A party for mates, Ian. He doesn't want us around, does he?

0:04:14 > 0:04:17- He's celebrating his youth. - Youth? He's 21.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19I wasn't going to parties when I was 21.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- You weren't invited. - I was married, I had Steven.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24I mean, he's lucky he's only got himself to worry about.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27You heard from your dad?

0:04:27 > 0:04:28Not yet.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Oh, right. I thought he might've popped home seeing as

0:04:31 > 0:04:34it's your 21st, and it would've been Peggy's birthday.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37You should be with your loved ones on special occasions.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Yeah, well, there's a few people I'll be missing today.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Why don't you just stick the kettle on, Ian?- Yeah.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Bex.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06It's your bag. Look.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Come on.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Ooh, you look rough.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Jack was busy this morning so I done the school run.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Daddy Day Care's no joke, is it?

0:05:24 > 0:05:25See you later.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31That was a bit off-ish. You two fell out?

0:05:31 > 0:05:32No. Not yet.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Max, you should really give him the benefit of the doubt.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38- Lauren loves him.- It's not easy to forget his past, is it?

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Especially when he's going out with your daughter.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44Well, you know what they say. It's better to build your bridges than burn 'em down.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Especially if you want to keep your eye on someone.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Don't worry about it. They'll soon move on to someone else.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59That's what they did with me and Jay...eventually.

0:05:59 > 0:06:03- I'm sorry. I should've been there. - Look, it's old news. Don't worry about it.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06They're just jealous. You pulled Shaki and some fit American.

0:06:06 > 0:06:07- I- am jealous.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11I hear there's a party around your way tonight.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14Is it that Ben, Jay's mate? They're all going. We should go.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16- I'll back you up.- I dunno.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Your American might be there,

0:06:18 > 0:06:21and the last thing you want is them lot all over him.

0:06:21 > 0:06:22Why let 'em win?

0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Yeah. Yeah, why not?- Yeah?

0:06:25 > 0:06:28All right, cool. Come round to mine and we'll get ready together.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31What about Jay?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33What about Jay?

0:06:36 > 0:06:39- Who?- I thought you said you knew about football.

0:06:40 > 0:06:45P Scho-les made his league debut in what year -

0:06:45 > 0:06:49'92, '93 or '94?

0:06:49 > 0:06:54Babe, you can slow it down all you want, that's still not a person.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56It's a footballer, Vincent.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58If you don't know who it is, that's fine,

0:06:58 > 0:07:01but there's no time for dithering in a quiz situation, all right?

0:07:01 > 0:07:03Can I see that? Thank you.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Yeah, it's P dot Scholes.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Paul Scholes. England international.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10Never heard of him.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Look, look, look. I have an idea.

0:07:12 > 0:07:16Why don't we have a nice meal instead?

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Vincent, the last time we had date night we stayed in with a Chinese

0:07:20 > 0:07:22and you snored all the way through Die Hard.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25- Last Boy Scout. - Whichever. Now that was your turn,

0:07:25 > 0:07:29and this is my turn, and I'm choosing a quiz.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34So are you going to support your captain or not?

0:07:35 > 0:07:37- Yay.- Thank you.

0:07:39 > 0:07:44Denise is "busy" apparently, so we need some recruits, yeah?

0:07:44 > 0:07:48Do a ring round. Five GCSEs minimum, thank you very much.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52- Kim, Kim, I'm busy, Kim.- Thank you. - Kim, I'm so busy...

0:07:53 > 0:07:55There's a quiz on over at The Vic if you fancy it later on.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Hello?

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Sorry, what?

0:08:03 > 0:08:04- Am I that boring?- No.

0:08:04 > 0:08:09No, sorry, it's...work e-mail.

0:08:09 > 0:08:10The server's gone down.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12It's always going down.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18All right. Well, I guess I'll see you later on then?

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Yeah. Sorry.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37Yeah, no worries. All right. See you later. Ta.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47The market's busy! Just ran into some bird in a wheelchair.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49She went mad.

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Oh, Tom, what you done now?

0:08:51 > 0:08:54I've done nothing. £10 from Stepney?

0:08:56 > 0:08:58That minicab mug can chase me. That's £8 tops.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Where've you been? You said you'd come and help me this morning.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04I know, I know. I just got held up.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Here, peace offering. Look at this.

0:09:07 > 0:09:08What is it?

0:09:09 > 0:09:13Speakers. Top of the range. For the party.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Where from?- From a shop.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19I can't have nicked stuff in the house, Tom.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22It's from a bloke at the pub. Who are we to judge?

0:09:23 > 0:09:26Got this jacket as well. Check it out. It's quite nice, ain't it?

0:09:26 > 0:09:31Cor. Feel like I've hurt my leg, I've definitely popped my calf.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34I mean, he didn't look it, but that cabbie was absolutely rapid.

0:09:34 > 0:09:35Have you spoken to anyone?

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Cos at this rate we couldn't fill a phone box.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39I've put the word out. It'll be rammo-jammo.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42And you'll take it easy, won't you? Ben ain't your biggest fan.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45What? Why? I've only met him once.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48Yeah. Only needs once. I'm warning you, behave yourself.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Cross my heart and all that. When are we cracking the beers?

0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Let's go, come on.- Leave 'em.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57What, are you drinking beer on the street, Jay?

0:09:57 > 0:09:59- What, are you 12?- Out.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07Yeah, course I will. You too, L.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Bye, baby.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12See that boy of mine, he needs to start eating a few burgers.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14You could strike a match off him. Look at me.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16The questions are done.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19And I added an interactive round, I found it online.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22All I've got to do now is put the rest of the posters up and we're ready to go.

0:10:22 > 0:10:26- I was coming down to help you, an' all.- No, it's all sorted.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29Tell you what, why don't I be quiz master?

0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Jacket'll look better on me anyway, won't it?- Yeah.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33- That'd be lovely.- All right.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35- I'll put the rest of the posters up. - Cheers, babe. Sweet.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42It's a St Christopher. It was Pete and Pauline's dad's.

0:10:42 > 0:10:47Brought him home safely from the war. Now it's yours.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49To keep YOU safe.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51What about Ian? It's his grandad.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Ian can look after himself. He's good at that.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Have you heard from your dad?

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Nah.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Could've done with this last year.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04Oh, Ben. What's wrong?

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Nothing. I dunno, Mum.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Jay's sorting this party I don't fancy.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15I'm going to have to stay late tomorrow to cover the work

0:11:15 > 0:11:18he ain't done today. And Dad ain't even called me, you know?

0:11:18 > 0:11:22- Ben...- I'm sorry. I'm fine, all right?

0:11:22 > 0:11:25Me and you, London Eye.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30I'm looking forward to that. Thanks, Mum.

0:11:30 > 0:11:31Sorry. I've forgot me keys.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Oi, Jay, that bird putting the posters outside the pub,

0:11:34 > 0:11:38she is a sort. I'd definitely give her...

0:11:38 > 0:11:39All right?

0:11:39 > 0:11:41Yeah.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42Right. Go on.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44You go and enjoy yourself.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50Just you and Steven? What's brought this on then?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Nothing, what do you mean? I just saw him in the cafe,

0:11:53 > 0:11:56thought it was about time we built a couple of bridges. That's all.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Right.

0:11:58 > 0:12:03- OK. Do you want me to tell him all this, yeah?- Yeah.

0:12:03 > 0:12:04- That all right?- Yeah.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07I've got a couple of calls to make. See you later.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Dad...

0:12:11 > 0:12:14There's this bloke I saw, I think I went to school with him.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17I seen him at your work. Do you know who he is?

0:12:17 > 0:12:19- It's driving me mad.- It's a big office, what's he look like?

0:12:19 > 0:12:21Darkish hair.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23My age.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Working the photocopier?

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Well, if he's running copies it might be that intern...

0:12:29 > 0:12:32What's his name... Ryan, Ryan Hyde? Something like that.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Er, yeah.- Yeah? - Maybe. It rings a bell.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Right. See you later.- Thank you.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Well, this is tragic, ain't it?

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Well, it's only early yet. So just give it a chance.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57Jay, the only people that are going to turn up are the Old Bill

0:12:57 > 0:12:59about those speakers.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Nope. They don't even work.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03I mean, I'd take 'em back if I could. But I can't.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06- Come on, let's just go to the Vic. - Let me give Abi a bell.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07KNOCK ON DOOR

0:13:07 > 0:13:09All right, Jay?

0:13:09 > 0:13:10Where've you been?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Here, why?

0:13:12 > 0:13:13Your old man dropped his phone.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16The only number he knows off by heart is the Arches.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18He's been trying there all day but he couldn't get through.

0:13:18 > 0:13:19Here y'are.

0:13:21 > 0:13:22He said enjoy yourself,

0:13:22 > 0:13:25have a drink for your nan and he'll call you tomorrow.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, and stop using the work phone to call your mates.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Happy Birthday, boy.

0:13:30 > 0:13:31Cheers.

0:13:31 > 0:13:36- MUSIC BLARES - There we go! Yes!

0:13:36 > 0:13:38How are we doing?

0:13:48 > 0:13:51Oh, will you get us an orange juice?

0:13:51 > 0:13:55The spirits in here knocked me bandy yesterday.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59Your hungover sister? That's the best you can do?

0:13:59 > 0:14:01She can't even spell GCSE, let alone get them.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03It's a Tuesday, who am I going to call?

0:14:03 > 0:14:06And how many GCSEs have you got?

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Is this where we sign up?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10You what?

0:14:10 > 0:14:11For the quiz.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13You really want to do the quiz?

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Why does everybody keep saying that? Yes, I want to do the quiz.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- OK, Kim. Here y'are, there's your answer sheet.- Thank you.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22Good luck. Because the winners get a round of drinks free.

0:14:22 > 0:14:23- Oh!- You're going to need it.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26See that little mob over there nursing the tap water?

0:14:26 > 0:14:29The Emergency Brexits. Right brainy little uni firm.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32Not a day's work or a girlfriend between 'em.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34What kind of name is that for a team?

0:14:34 > 0:14:38- What do we call you lot? - Oh, we are the Foxy Hubba Hubbards.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41- Ooh!- Bottle of white wine when you're ready, please, Vincent.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43White wine.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Fair play, mate. You can call a party on.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Johnny...

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Oi. Come here. How many people did you invite?

0:14:54 > 0:14:58You told me to put the word out. Don't blame me, blame the internet.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Yeah, but I don't know half these people.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02Here, look. It ain't all bad.

0:15:08 > 0:15:13MUFFLED MUSIC FROM PARTY

0:15:28 > 0:15:30You all right?

0:15:30 > 0:15:34Er, yeah. Yeah. You?

0:15:34 > 0:15:38Yeah. It's Ben's 21st, apparently.

0:15:38 > 0:15:42Oh. I only come out cos I thought I heard a knock.

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Yeah. Shaki's going.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52I'm just popping to the Vic if you fancy?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55- It's quiz night, ain't it?- Yeah.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58- Kim's got a team.- Really?- Yeah.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Kim? Wow.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05Well, I can name the Spurs double winning side, if that helps?

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Come on, I'll buy you a drink.

0:16:11 > 0:16:12Er...

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Yeah. Yeah, why not?

0:16:15 > 0:16:18- I'll meet you over there then. - Right.

0:16:26 > 0:16:27Cheers, Abi.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30It's packed in here. I didn't know you were this popular.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Nah, neither did I.

0:16:32 > 0:16:33Where's your toilet?

0:16:33 > 0:16:37At the end of the hall. Watch the door.

0:16:37 > 0:16:38The locks are a bit dodgy.

0:16:40 > 0:16:41So, you had a good day?

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Yeah. It's turned out all right in the end. Cheers.

0:16:46 > 0:16:47Cheers.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54- Too strong? - No, I could do with it.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57Turns out studying law is as hard as it sounds. Who knew?

0:16:58 > 0:17:00In that case...

0:17:02 > 0:17:06Oh, word to the wise, Jay's going to try and set us up together.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08What? Why?

0:17:08 > 0:17:12Well, from what I can see, we're the only gay blokes in the room.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14He'll put two and two together and get five.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Right. Thanks for the heads up.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19Don't worry, all right? You're not going to get a repeat

0:17:19 > 0:17:23of Lee's wedding. I'll leave you alone. I promise.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29So what about you, are you local? E1, E2?

0:17:29 > 0:17:32- What do you want, my postcode? - No, no, just asking, that's all.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34- Are you at uni or...?- Mm-mm.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46How am I supposed to guess that it's a crown, huh?

0:17:46 > 0:17:47Look at it, it's a halo.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49You can talk.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51For Gandhi's last name you made us write "trick question"

0:17:51 > 0:17:53in the last round.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Brilliant.- Well, you got Stephen Hawking's age wrong.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Just because I'm in a wheelchair does not make that question

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- any easier, you muppet.- Girls.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Girls, girls, I don't want to have to disqualify you.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Oh, you know what? Don't worry, I'm off.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07I already got poleaxed by one prat today.

0:18:07 > 0:18:10- I'm too hungover to deal with her as well.- Oh, come on.- No!

0:18:10 > 0:18:12That's all right, Mick. Let her go, let her go.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14I'm going to tag in my sister and Kush, yeah?

0:18:14 > 0:18:15Er, is that allowed?

0:18:17 > 0:18:21Calm down, Rule Book, it's fine by me. Put your tinfoil down.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23That's the end of the interactive round.

0:18:23 > 0:18:24You have got to go, now.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26I told you. I'm here with Bex.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28You ain't going to get into any trouble.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32- I don't care. You have got to go. - I'm not a kid, Jay. Not now.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Not then.- Are you not listening?

0:18:34 > 0:18:37No, I don't think YOU'RE listening.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39I liked you, Jay. I did.

0:18:39 > 0:18:40I do.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45I'm sorry. I just wanted an excuse to see you.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47I am on a sex register because of you.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50You have ruined my life. Now get out, now.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- You going to kick her out and all then?- What?

0:18:54 > 0:18:59The girl you were chatting to is 15. You knew what you were doing, Jay.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01And now you're just doing it again.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19- I'm not arguing with you. I want you out.- Or what?

0:19:19 > 0:19:22- Or I slap one of your little boyfriends. How about that? - Leave it, Tom.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25A minute ago you was chatting me up, but all of a sudden I've gotta leave?

0:19:25 > 0:19:28- Ben knows we're here. He didn't say anything. - I didn't realise you was here.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Technically you are trespassing.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33What you going to do? Call the police?

0:19:33 > 0:19:36He's a paedo, and we're underage. How's that going to look?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38If she can stay, why can't we?

0:19:38 > 0:19:44- Right, Ben...- All right! Fair enough. We can't call the Old Bill so let's sort it out ourselves.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46What is it? Four on...

0:19:49 > 0:19:51..five?

0:19:51 > 0:19:53- Yeah, we fancy those odds, right, boys?- Yeah.

0:19:53 > 0:19:54Yeah. Hang on.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Can someone just hold my jacket? It's new.

0:19:57 > 0:20:01Come on. We're leaving. This party ain't worth our time anyway.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Come on, boys.

0:20:05 > 0:20:06Come on, boys.

0:20:09 > 0:20:1115? Those boys were lumps.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Think we got a little bit lucky there.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Cheers, Tommy. Sorry, mate.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19Oi, your mate... How old is she?

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Am I safe?

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Is that a yes? No?

0:20:31 > 0:20:34Tottenham Hotspur have won two league titles in their history.

0:20:34 > 0:20:35Name those seasons.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Only two? I thought they was a big club.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40- It's two more than West Ham though, ain't it?- Oi-oi!

0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Stick to your cards, trappy. - OK.

0:20:43 > 0:20:47So it's either summer and winter...

0:20:47 > 0:20:50or spring and fall.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53What are you talking about?

0:20:54 > 0:20:56She said two seasons, Vincent.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58It's '50/'51 and '60/'61.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02- You sure?- Yes. He's sure. He can even name the double team

0:21:02 > 0:21:06- if you like. - Right. Next question. Arts.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Which poem by Carol Ann Duffy features the line,

0:21:10 > 0:21:12"Time hates love"?

0:21:14 > 0:21:17See? Sexy Eggheads.

0:21:17 > 0:21:21See that, boys? The heat is on.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Yeah!

0:21:26 > 0:21:27Say they call the Old Bill?

0:21:27 > 0:21:32Relax, will you? All right? Johnny said it's trespassing, right?

0:21:33 > 0:21:37- Er, well... - See? The law is on our side, bruv.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Now, let's get a beer and chill out.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Like what you see, do you?

0:21:45 > 0:21:48- What?- I'm going to get going. Preston isn't coming.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51What? Look, it's his loss. Stay, have a drink

0:21:51 > 0:21:53and I'll walk you home later.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Here we go, here we go. Game time. Drink or dare.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00- Who's in? Who's in? Fancy it, Blondie?- Yep.- Come on.

0:22:00 > 0:22:01Take that, here we are.

0:22:01 > 0:22:05To save embarrassment, I'm only going to read out the runners-up and the winners, OK?

0:22:05 > 0:22:09Right. In second place we have...

0:22:09 > 0:22:11the Quiz Akabusis. CHEERING

0:22:11 > 0:22:14- Never mind. We tried our best, yeah? - Shush, man.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17And in joint first place,

0:22:17 > 0:22:21the Emergency Brexits and...

0:22:21 > 0:22:25- ..the Foxy Hubba Hubbards.- Yay! - We've got a tie.

0:22:25 > 0:22:28- No way!- A tie? How's that work?

0:22:28 > 0:22:31Nah, I don't want to share my round with them.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33How about a tie-break question to see who wins?

0:22:33 > 0:22:34What did you say?

0:22:34 > 0:22:36Captain's round?

0:22:36 > 0:22:38If you're up for it...

0:22:38 > 0:22:39Fighting talk.

0:22:39 > 0:22:42Course. Fine by me.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45All right, great. Can I get the captains up here, please?

0:22:45 > 0:22:47And bring your buzzers.

0:22:47 > 0:22:48Get them buzzers up here.

0:22:48 > 0:22:52- It's on!- Don't muck about. - Go on, Kim!

0:22:52 > 0:22:55- Drink, drink, drink...- Go, go, go!

0:22:57 > 0:23:00You know you can't pick drink every time.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03No, no, no. If you dare me to snog Ben every time, I can.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Look, if you fancy the geezer just jump in, yeah?

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Everybody loves a little birthday...

0:23:08 > 0:23:11I don't, like, fancy him, all right?

0:23:11 > 0:23:14You lot are putting two and two together, and just...

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Like, just because we're the only two...

0:23:17 > 0:23:21Oh, don't even bother. You have been eyeing him up all night.

0:23:21 > 0:23:24See, Jimmy? Blondie knows.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26Oi, young drunk girl, what do you think about this situation?

0:23:26 > 0:23:28I would if Preston was here.

0:23:30 > 0:23:31See? Full house.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Leave it with me. I'll have a word with him.- No, no, no!

0:23:34 > 0:23:36Yes, yes! That's how you do it.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39Yeah? Blondie don't muck about.

0:23:43 > 0:23:47See, Jamie, right? Stick with me. I think we're in there.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54OK, so it's fastest finger first. And it's just like before.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58But only this time, captains, there's no help from the floor, OK?

0:23:58 > 0:24:01Right, random question from the pack. Good luck.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03No hard feelings, yeah?

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Oh, stop smiling, mate. She'll knock you clean out.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Name all five members of the boyband Five.

0:24:12 > 0:24:13HOOTER

0:24:13 > 0:24:15- Um... Duncan... - No, sorry. That's Blue.

0:24:15 > 0:24:19- HOOTER - Sean, Ritchie, Scott, J, Abs?

0:24:19 > 0:24:21- Correct!- Yeah! - Foxy Hubba Hubbards win!

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Yeah! Get in there!

0:24:26 > 0:24:28No hard feelings, yeah?

0:24:28 > 0:24:31KIM WHOOPS

0:24:34 > 0:24:38You two are so boring. You've both been eyeing each other all night.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41Listen, you said drink or dare, and I chose drink.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45Besides, it's Johnny.

0:24:46 > 0:24:52- I'm not kissing Johnny.- Why not? He's good-looking, he's smart...

0:24:52 > 0:24:54And he's Johnny.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57And you're my ex, so can we call it a night

0:24:57 > 0:24:59before this gets any weirder?

0:25:00 > 0:25:04Plus I'm guessing he chose drink, an' all. Am I right?

0:25:04 > 0:25:06- VOMIT SPRAYS - Oh!

0:25:10 > 0:25:12Come on. Let's get you home. I think you've had enough, eh?

0:25:12 > 0:25:14Did you have a coat or anything?

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Been a while since a bloke bought me dinner.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24Can't complain, really. You're a cheap date.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Hey, we made a good team, didn't we?

0:25:28 > 0:25:31We did, we did. Could've done with a cash prize, though.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34This new career malarkey,

0:25:34 > 0:25:38it's not all as exciting in the cold light of day.

0:25:40 > 0:25:41You should be proud.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44Half the people in that pub yesterday wished they were

0:25:44 > 0:25:48- as brave as you.- Brave, or stupid?

0:25:48 > 0:25:52Brave. And clever.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57You ain't too bad to look at either.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08- You all right?- Yeah.

0:26:08 > 0:26:09- Night.- Night.

0:26:12 > 0:26:16All I'm saying is, if you need some new ideas for your rounds,

0:26:16 > 0:26:17you let me know.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20- Listen. First port of call. - Thank you very much.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23- Yeah. Come on.- Let's whack that on the old canister.- Thank you.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25- Cheers, Mick.- See you later.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28- Thank you. Bye.- Mind how you go, won't you? See you later.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31- Bye.- See you later. Ta-da. Ta-da.

0:26:34 > 0:26:39Ooh, that's going to be a long old walk home. You all right?

0:26:39 > 0:26:42Yeah, that was Lauren. She wants a girls' night.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45Oh, yeah? You should go out. You shouldn't be in here every night. Go and have a mad one.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47We had fun tonight, though, didn't we?

0:26:47 > 0:26:51- There weren't a flood, or a fire, or a power cut.- Yeah, cheers.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Why did you rig that quiz?

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Cos you gave it to me over that raffle.

0:26:58 > 0:27:01Cos only one of them teams was going to buy a bottle of bubbly after their free round, weren't they?

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Like you say, we need money in the till.

0:27:14 > 0:27:19The lock's a bit dodge. Shall we just head back to yours, Blondie?

0:27:19 > 0:27:21- What do you reckon?- How about this?

0:27:21 > 0:27:24You tell me what my name is and I'll take you home, right now.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27- Huh?- What's my name?

0:27:30 > 0:27:33- It's Annie. No?- No!- Ally?

0:27:35 > 0:27:37Amy? Andi? No, it's not Andi...

0:27:38 > 0:27:40It's something beginning with A, right?

0:27:52 > 0:27:55THEY GIGGLE