0:00:26 > 0:00:28- Hello!- Hello.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31So you'd rather spend your birthday having dinner with your mum
0:00:31 > 0:00:34than going to the Vic with the best looking bloke in the Square?
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Oh, that Mick is handsome.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Hey!
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Have you met my mum? "Rather" does not come into it!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42She still trying to set you up with that woman from work?
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Yeah. Esme. I told her I'm happy being single,
0:00:44 > 0:00:47so she's been touting me around the office, naturally.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50- Yeah, she's shown me the picture of her mate.- Yeah?- She's about 6ft 6.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52You'd need a stepladder to get hold of her!
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- All right!- Right, are you sure you're all right having him?
0:00:55 > 0:00:58I wouldn't normally ask. It's just the midwife's putting our plan together today.
0:00:58 > 0:01:03Yeah, it's my pleasure. I've been spoilt this week. Haven't I, eh? Right, good luck.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- See you later.- Thanks, Kush. Bye, mate!
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Bye.- OK, look, do yourself a favour.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Take the little man down the park, yeah?
0:01:11 > 0:01:14He'll be like a honey trap to all them fit joggers.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- Save your mum a job, won't it? See you in a bit.- See you.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20- Be a good boy!- Bye.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26- You all right?- Yeah.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29I was hoping I'd see you.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38- Look, just have one slice to tide you over.- Babe, I've got the sign being delivered,
0:01:38 > 0:01:42I've got to pick up the cava, I've got to clear up outside the front of the shop before the photographer
0:01:42 > 0:01:46- arrives, we've got Pam coming... - You will have time to take her for a nice lunch, won't you?
0:01:46 > 0:01:50- It's the least we can do.- Yeah, yeah. Course. But what I haven't got time for right now is breakfast.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52OK.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Well, just have one ickle bite!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56For me?
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Please?
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Thank you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05Mwah! I'm sorry. I'm just really very, very proud of you.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07My Billy.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09The big shot businessman.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11All the Bs!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Yeah. Right, later.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Just me and you, after work? - Well, yeah. Just a drink.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23There's no problem if you can't. I was just, you know,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26being spontaneous and it's going terribly, clearly.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27I didn't say no, did I?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Yeah. I can do tonight.- Oh, good!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Oh, that's good. Great.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Very good. OK. Well, that was a lot of greats and goods, wasn't it?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- You're from Walford, right?- Yeah.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43There used to be a pub there called the Victory, is it?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- The Queen Victoria?- That's the one.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Fancy it?- It's a bit cliquey in there, actually.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50We could try the Albert. That's nice, I think.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- I'll meet you there, then. - Great.- Right, give me your number
0:02:53 > 0:02:57- and we'll sort it.- Right. Ready?- Yeah.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Cheers. Thank you.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Right.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Hey, listen,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06so, you cry for the old drunks
0:03:06 > 0:03:10and cute and adorable for the yummy mummies, you got me?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Come here. Fist bump.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Auntie D will buy you a new one. Yeah? Come on.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Morning!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Morning.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Everything all right?
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Yeah, yeah. Fine. It's just...
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- Ah.- Yeah.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36Tried telling her, ducks don't live in this pond.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38But she won't be told, will she?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- Just like her mum.- Mm.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Oh!
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Sorry, I'm just... It's been one of them days.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Well, luckily for you,
0:03:46 > 0:03:49I've done all my swimming badges. Hold that.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50- What?- All right.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Here we go.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Just like me. Healthy and tasty.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00If you bury your hand in the sand any further, Ian,
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- you'll see Australia. - She's my mum.- I know.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06But she needs to get on board with this diet or she has to go.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07By her own admission.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11- She hasn't said a word to me since, or apologised.- Just give her time.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Ian, either you sort it out, or I will.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16And I won't be half as diplomatic, if I have to tell her again.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- It's your choice. - Everything all right?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Yeah, fine.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22OK, Dad, we need to get to work.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Right, are we sure there's no sharks in here?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Well, if we see any, we'll let you know. Don't worry.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Oh, thank you very much(!) Are you sure you don't want to come
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- in for a little dip? The water's really nice. Try it.- Oi!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Sorry, sorry, just checking.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Right, ready? One...
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Two...
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Two...three.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Here we go.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Ah!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- Ooh!- Aw!
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Here we go!
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Yay!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Well done, you're our hero!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Who's for ice cream? Yeah?- Oh!
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Ice cream?
0:05:03 > 0:05:06No, no, no. I paid for a shop sign to be fitted, not painted.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Listen, it's not our fault you ordered the wrong thing.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12How long are you going to need? I'm unveiling it this afternoon.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16- Well, it'll cost you extra.- Extra?! It's only two words and a "and"!
0:05:16 > 0:05:20We're old school. We paint by hand. That takes time. That takes talent.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22That's what makes it special.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Now, if you want some stencil merchant,
0:05:25 > 0:05:27we'll do you a refund, wipe our mouths,
0:05:27 > 0:05:30but if you want a proper job doing, in half the time, I don't
0:05:30 > 0:05:35think it's unreasonable for me to ask for a little extra, do you?
0:05:35 > 0:05:37After all, it's your mistake.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- Am I right?- All right, all right.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42You get your extra, but only when the job's done, deal?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48DOG HOWLS AND BARKS
0:05:51 > 0:05:52OK.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Get away from her.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Get away!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- DOG BARKS - Get away!
0:06:06 > 0:06:08SPLASH
0:06:08 > 0:06:11DOG WHIMPERS
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Bron! What's going on?
0:06:14 > 0:06:17I was thinking red, white and blue for the piping.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20You know? '90s Britpop sort of thing. And Oasis for the lettering.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- Don't do Blur, couldn't stand them. - Yeah, sounds good, Dad.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I'm just trying to help.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Yeah, I know you are.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30So's Gran.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Look, we try and make people happy with food.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35- Right?- Yeah.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Well, that's all that Gran's doing, she's trying to make you happy, Dad.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42She's just going about it in the wrong way.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44You can't avoid her forever.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Please, will you go and talk to her?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Oh, hello.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03- It was an accident.- How do you throw a dog in a pond by accident?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- It was attacking me!- Attacking? Look at him, he's harmless.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- OK, it wasn't done on purpose, all right?- Yeah, course it weren't(!)
0:07:08 > 0:07:12This is some sicko revenge trip, ain't it? I'm going to have you nicked again, watch!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- It was me, all right?- Kush. - You did this?- Yes.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18All right, I ran over cos he was going mad at Denise and the kids. What was I supposed to do?
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- How about not dashing him in the pond, for a start?- He had my bag and he wouldn't let it go.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- He was playing tug of war, then, isn't it? He's a dog. Are you dumb? - Hey, watch your mouth.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Why? Are you going to try and drown me and all, big man?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Listen, he was aggressive and he was off his lead.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33If it weren't my bag, it might have been one of these two.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- You want to have that thing put down.- Put down?- Yeah.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39What, cos you're too busy playing cougar and toyboy to actually watch your kids?! Yeah, I see you.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43And if you was actually paying attention, you'd see he was just playing. You mug!
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Hey, you've been told once! All right? Don't make me show you up in front of your little mates!
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- OK?- Listen, I know you hate me, yeah?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53But this is my little brother's dog and that's not right.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56So I don't care who did it. I'll have you both nicked for this. Watch.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06That looks great. I, um, didn't know if you'd still be up for making it.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10They do liquorice as tape ribbon. And it'll say your name.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18We both said some things that we regret and I'm sorry
0:08:18 > 0:08:21about...everything.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23But at the end of the day,
0:08:23 > 0:08:27I am on your side and if you need anything, I'm here.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Why don't you come back later,
0:08:28 > 0:08:31when it's all done and you can see what you think, yeah?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44So, I see the commotion, I run over,
0:08:44 > 0:08:46and I push it away and it stumbles in.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49It was going for you, right?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53I don't know, I'm not a dog whisperer, am I?
0:08:53 > 0:08:57I just saw a big dog off its lead. It was instinct. It was an accident.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Yeah, I know. I was trying to get our story straight, that's all.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I should have just stayed in bed. I'm so sorry.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07You all right?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I got a call this morning. Um...
0:09:15 > 0:09:17The adoption's been finalised.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20And it really hit me. I thought I was ready for it but...
0:09:24 > 0:09:29Anyway, maybe it was just playing. Kush, you really shouldn't take the blame for this, you know? I'm sorry.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Listen to me, right? That dog should not have been off its lead when there are kids about.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35OK? And I'm glad you were there.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37All right?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39What now?
0:09:39 > 0:09:40I'm still on discharge.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44And if he does go to the police, I could go to prison.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47And even if he does run his mouth off...
0:09:47 > 0:09:49He's not going to call the Old Bill, all right?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52We're going to get the kids home and then we're going to see him
0:09:52 > 0:09:55later and nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58OK? We are going to sort this, I promise you.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Don't worry, I'll find somewhere else. I know when I'm not wanted.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08- Mum!- What? I mean, it's a bit of lasagne.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Honestly, anyone would think that I deep fried
0:10:10 > 0:10:13a cream cake and force-fed you it!
0:10:13 > 0:10:16You've already lost loads of weight. She's going right over the top.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Mum, will you stop it?
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Do you remember Danny Rogers, when we used to live over at the flat?
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Yeah? He used to give me a hard time whenever I went outside to play? Yeah?
0:10:28 > 0:10:32And you were going to go and have it out with his mum, except I made you promise not to.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35And whenever I came home upset, you'd give me a bag of sweets.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- You remember? Cola bottles? - Yeah.- Yeah?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Right, until one day you caught me and him playing footie over
0:10:41 > 0:10:45the park and realised I'd been conning you out of sweets for ages!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48You were just trying to keep me happy.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50You were trying to make up for not being there.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53And you're doing it again.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Ian, I don't need a psychoanalysis about
0:10:56 > 0:10:59a bag of sweets I bought you 40-odd years ago.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03- It's a lasagne. - No, it's not the lasagne. It's you.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I've done really well, OK?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09But I need everyone's help.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14And if we're not all on the same page, then it's not going to work.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Jane's right.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Don't use those in the house.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30All right? You wait until we get down the park.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Do you hear me?
0:11:32 > 0:11:34LAUGHTER AND YELLING
0:11:34 > 0:11:37KNOCK AT DOOR
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Mr Jack Browning? I'm here for the nanny interview.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46It's Branning.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49- And you've got the wrong day. - Oh, I didn't realise.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Listen, we're on our way out. Can you do me a favour?
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Will you ring your firm and tell them not to contact
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Mr Branning again? - Sorry for wasting your time.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- CHILDREN YELLING - Oi, oi, oi!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Oi, oi! Stop it!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- Singles night? - We prefer the term "mixer".
0:12:06 > 0:12:09So, out browsing tonight, are we?
0:12:09 > 0:12:1218s and over section, I hope.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Excuse me? No. I'm meeting someone here tonight actually, so...
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Confident. I like it!
0:12:18 > 0:12:22Now, here's your prompt cards, in case you get stuck for conversation.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Trace, a shot on the house for Michelle, please.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Don't worry, Kim will take care of you. ID checks, all round.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Aye-aye. I spy crow's feet.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39You're cleared for take-off. Yes.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Hey, let me do the talking. Yeah? Play it safe.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53Here they are, the dog drowner and the child puncher.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54Have a seat.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Does it take time? Yeah. All good craftsmanship does.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06We live in a world where it's wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Art takes time.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10What happened? Where have you been? Pam's been here ages.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13I had to give Mr Kohl a lift home. He was so upset.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17- I couldn't let him get on the train like that, could I? - That's all right.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Pam, sorry I'm late.- Just in time.
0:13:21 > 0:13:26- Right, are we all ready to go, then? - You deal with the dead, son. You leave the sign game to me, yeah?
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Some woman and a kid, was lucky not to be mauled, apparently.- Chavs.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I mean, you know me, I love dogs. But if I see one off the lead,
0:13:35 > 0:13:38flashing its teeth, I've got two kicks.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- One for the dog and one for the owner, right up the...- Hello!
0:13:41 > 0:13:45I'm Pam Coker. My husband Les opened this parlour.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I'm going to keep it short and sweet, on his behalf,
0:13:48 > 0:13:52as he's been struck down with a very bad case of man flu.
0:13:52 > 0:13:58It gives me great pleasure to declare Coker and Mitchell
0:13:58 > 0:13:59open for business.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:14:05 > 0:14:09LAUGHTER
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Oh, that's going to comfort the grievers(!)
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Billy...
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Billy.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Once again, it was an accident. I mean, if he wasn't off his lead...
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Let's not get bogged down with technicalities.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33At the end of the day, I'm left with a traumatised dog and
0:14:33 > 0:14:37a pond smell that's going to linger, but I'm a reasonable woman.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39I'll take 500 quid.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43That's vet fees, emotional distress, all in.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Excuse me?- Fine, as we're neighbours, 200.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47What?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49If you really thought that dog was dangerous,
0:14:49 > 0:14:52I'd have Sweeney at my door, not Muscles and Cougar!
0:14:52 > 0:14:56Right, 200 quid and we keep schtum the fact that you two were
0:14:56 > 0:14:59too busy cosying up to look after those kids.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- Deal?- Deal? Are you joking?! Listen to me...- No, no, no.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04No.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07You're right.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Um, I think we'd prefer to just keep this quiet, wouldn't we?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16As would you.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20He might not be a dangerous dog, but he was off his lead.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24And I'm sure you wouldn't want to risk him getting put down
0:15:24 > 0:15:26over the sake of like, 200 quid.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Mum, she's just trying to squirm out of it.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30You should have let her talk, Muscles.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Would have saved us all some time.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Bernie, show them out.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48TV ON
0:15:50 > 0:15:52OK.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55First things first...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I would never intentionally put my son's health at risk.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05But I understand now.
0:16:06 > 0:16:11I was away a long time and I wasn't around to help and then when
0:16:11 > 0:16:13I was, I tried to help in other ways.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20And a bag of sweets ain't going to cut it any more, right?
0:16:20 > 0:16:23It's not about the lasagne. I know it...
0:16:23 > 0:16:28It's about me and you're right, Jane. I need to get on board.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I promise I'll learn.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35So, I brought some dinner.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37I thought we could cook something together.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42That sounds perfect.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Right, I'll get started.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- So...- So...
0:16:49 > 0:16:53You've punched a kid, you've chucked the dog in a pond. What's next, eh?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Cats?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- Old people?- No.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59No?
0:16:59 > 0:17:03I love cats. Old people? It depends which one.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Right.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Listen, thank you for stepping in for me today.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12If that little idiot knew it was me, I'd be in a cell by now.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15No, no. Thank you for sorting her out over there.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Having Arthur means the world to me. You know?
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Make a decent team, me and you.
0:17:22 > 0:17:28- Yeah.- Look, if you ever want to go for a drink, talk about anything,
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- the adoption...- No, I'll be fine.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Just sort of feels real now.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38But it's been the right decision.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Anyway.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Happy birthday, Kush.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Sorry.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02It's only been in there an hour.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06Listen, if it's not working, let me know and I'll replace it.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Oh, it's fine.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Thank you for the hairdryer.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- And the coffee. - Well, listen, while you're here,
0:18:11 > 0:18:14you might as well tell me about yourself.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Like, where you're from?
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Um, Walthamstow? It's on the Victoria Line.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Yeah, no, I mean originally.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Oh, right.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Norway. Oslo.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29I've been in England for five months and three days exactly.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30- Five months.- And three days.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Well, listen, I'll be honest with you,
0:18:33 > 0:18:35I want someone who knows the area well, so...
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Dad?
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Dad! Ricky put chewing gum in my hair!
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Look!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44- It was an accident.- Oh!
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Well, listen, don't panic. Relax.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49I'm sure we can sort it out.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- Cut that out, I reckon. - What?! Don't cut my hair!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Do you have some peanut butter? And a toothbrush?
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- You what? - Peanut butter and a toothbrush.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Trust me. What's your name?
0:18:59 > 0:19:00Amy.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Come here, Amy. Let's see.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08- The smooth kind, not the chunky, right?- Course.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Go upstairs, get me a toothbrush, go on.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Room for one more?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30It really is a lovely little Square, isn't it?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34I do miss it.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37I ain't stupid, Pam.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42I know people think I'm the runt of the litter when it comes to
0:19:42 > 0:19:44blokes round here.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47I ain't ever been the hardest...
0:19:49 > 0:19:51..best looking or the smartest.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Obviously.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Just...
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Just for once, I wanted people
0:20:00 > 0:20:03to say, "You seen old Billy?
0:20:03 > 0:20:07"Ain't he done good for himself?"
0:20:07 > 0:20:08You know?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12That was never going to happen, was it?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Always going to be the laughing stock, ain't I?
0:20:20 > 0:20:25My Les always says if an undertaker only sees the casket and not
0:20:25 > 0:20:28the people standing round it, he won't last.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31A month after taking you on, he turns to me one night and
0:20:31 > 0:20:34he says, "That Billy,
0:20:34 > 0:20:38"he sees the people.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41"He's got the heart."
0:20:42 > 0:20:45And he told me, you spent all day with that Mr Kohl,
0:20:45 > 0:20:49drove him home, despite everything you had planned.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54My Les isn't right about many things, Billy Mitchell,
0:20:54 > 0:20:55but he was right about you.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59You're not the runt of the litter.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03You have got a family that love you.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07And you are brilliant at a job that helps people through the
0:21:07 > 0:21:08darkest of times.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12That is the mark of a man.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Not some silly sign above a shop.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19Billy, you have done us all proud.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Come on, let's go and get some dinner.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- You sure that'll work? - Of course. But not with the chunky.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51My cousin found this out the hard way.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Oh, there we go.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Bingo!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Thank you.
0:21:58 > 0:21:59What do you say?
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Sorry.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Right, you two. Go on, in the other room.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Four brothers. You learn fast.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Are you up for a trial?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Next week?
0:22:15 > 0:22:19- Right. Next, what is your favourite film?- Oh, OK.
0:22:19 > 0:22:24So, sober Michelle would say Shawshank Redemption.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Five shots and two glasses of white wine down Michelle can
0:22:28 > 0:22:30exclusively reveal...
0:22:31 > 0:22:33..Die Hard.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- Oh, I or II?- Come on! Hans Gruber, all day long!
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Oh, nice! See? That was a big moment.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43If you'd said II, we could have been over before we started.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Right, then.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49We're drunk, we've used up all our convo cards,
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- let's get down to it.- Ooh!
0:22:53 > 0:22:55You know my story.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00Widower, struggling to move on. Tell me,
0:23:00 > 0:23:02what's yours?
0:23:02 > 0:23:05You sure you want to know?
0:23:05 > 0:23:06OK.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11So, I WAS married,
0:23:11 > 0:23:13things got stale,
0:23:13 > 0:23:15somebody young
0:23:15 > 0:23:18took an interest...
0:23:18 > 0:23:21It's all a bit embarrassing, really.
0:23:21 > 0:23:22Look...
0:23:24 > 0:23:26..don't worry about it.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Let's just say we've both still got stuff to work out, right?
0:23:31 > 0:23:34If your husband was sad enough to cop off with some young girl,
0:23:34 > 0:23:38then you're better off without, right?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Say no more.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49- Ooh!- Ah!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51'Sorry, Steven. There's nothing I can do.'
0:23:51 > 0:23:55Well, if you've got to work, you've got to work.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58- 'Yeah, I can't get away. If you're sure you don't mind...?' - No, that's fine.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01'We'll have dinner together when I get back, OK?'
0:24:01 > 0:24:02Yeah, I'll see you later.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04'OK, see you later.'
0:24:04 > 0:24:06- OK, bye.- 'Bye.'
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I'm sorry, but you're here playing happy families,
0:24:09 > 0:24:12as if nothing's happened
0:24:12 > 0:24:15and she's got to work late again? She's unbelievable!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20This is the bit where I lose it.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Right?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I just pick this up and chuck it at the wall.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Wait for her to come home and then kick her out.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35Throw everything I have worked for away.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36Yeah?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Go home, Abi.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Oi, give that here. Give that here now.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55The only people that leave presents on your doorstep are serial
0:24:55 > 0:24:57killers and stalkers. I've got to see what's in here. Come on.
0:24:57 > 0:25:02- Can you just hand it over, or lose some teeth? It's your choice. - Might be from my Esme at work.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06- I wouldn't mind a peek.- I'm going to open it later, all right?- Boring.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Right, see you later. - Yeah, see you later.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12You OK, darling? You seem a bit quiet.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Was that rice a bit mushy, Kushy?
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Ha! No, it was lovely, Mum. Thank you very much. And I'm fine.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- Happy birthday, babe.- Thank you.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23My baby!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25- See you later.- Bye-bye.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Shaki, where you going?
0:25:29 > 0:25:33So you'd snog Holly Willoughby and marry Kelly Brook?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Listen, you look after your own choices.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Who chooses to avoid Ryan Gosling? Even I wouldn't avoid Gosling.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43Well, I don't go for classically handsome men. Obviously!
0:25:43 > 0:25:48All right! Insults aside, thanks for tonight.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50- I've had a really nice time. - Yeah. Me too.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Listen, about what I said earlier...
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Look, don't worry about it.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58I shouldn't have put you on the spot.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02But from where I'm standing, she wasn't worth it.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- See you.- See you.
0:26:09 > 0:26:10Tom?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Your wife was a lucky woman.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15And I'm sure she'd want you to move on,
0:26:15 > 0:26:17but only when you're ready, yeah?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20- See you.- See you.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Oh, watch it!
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Sorry, mate.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33I am not your mate!
0:27:04 > 0:27:06BUZZER
0:27:14 > 0:27:15Mr Kazemi?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- Yeah...- We'd like to talk to you about an incident that happened
0:27:18 > 0:27:20earlier today.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37MOBILE RINGS