22/02/2018

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:27 > 0:00:29Hey!

0:00:32 > 0:00:34PHONE RINGS

0:00:37 > 0:00:42- Savannah... Savannah, listen... - You owe me, mate. Big time.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48PHONE RINGS

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Next time answer it, will ya?

0:00:50 > 0:00:51Well, it is your phone...

0:00:51 > 0:00:54I do not want to be too far from the khazi right now.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58Hello? Yeah, this is Karen Taylor.

0:01:01 > 0:01:02Bernie?

0:01:02 > 0:01:05- What's wrong with her now? She's been in such a weird mood.- No.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08She's with you lot, ain't she, in school?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Well, where is she then?

0:01:10 > 0:01:12I don't believe this.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Well, maybe you took it home.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16I left it right there. Ready for the thrashing.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Maybe you just tidied it away somewhere.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21I am old, Joyce, I am not senile.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24Maybe Bernadette did it then.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Just thinking that she was helping.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Helping herself, more like.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Oh, Ted!

0:01:33 > 0:01:36So what do we know about him, then?

0:01:36 > 0:01:39He's bought a couple of properties from us lately.

0:01:39 > 0:01:41Serious investor, I see.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43- Cash buyer too.- Right.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45But he's careful.

0:01:45 > 0:01:49Which is why he's asked to see all your accounts and records.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52Anything you can lay your hands on, and as up-to-date as possible.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54I'll have to bell the accountant then.

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Only thing is...

0:01:56 > 0:01:58..he asked about the price.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01You did say we'd knock something off for cash?

0:02:01 > 0:02:03He thinks it's still too high.

0:02:03 > 0:02:04So he wants to knock me down further then?

0:02:04 > 0:02:07You know the score, it's a buyer's market right now.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10You want to sell and sell quick.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12The trouble is, he's probably looking at other places

0:02:12 > 0:02:14which are wanting to sell even quicker.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Still a buyer, Vince.

0:02:32 > 0:02:33I did it.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Oh, you did? And what have you done?

0:02:36 > 0:02:37Look...

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Hold on... What letter is that?

0:02:42 > 0:02:45- K.- K! Did you see that?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48- Hmm...- K.- Look...

0:02:48 > 0:02:49Very good.

0:02:49 > 0:02:53My daughter is three years old and she's already doing the alphabet!

0:02:53 > 0:02:55- Very good.- I just double it.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57What was she thinking?

0:02:57 > 0:03:00She wasn't. She can't. She hasn't got a brain.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Zsa Zsa told you what Mum was like when she gets a drink inside her.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05- I know...- She turns into a psycho.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07- And she knows where I am now. - Well, she's not here though, is she?

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Yeah, no thanks to motormouth out there.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11- SHE SCREAMS - Look...

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Tina made a mistake.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18She probably thought she was helping you.

0:03:18 > 0:03:19But she was wrong.

0:03:20 > 0:03:21And I'll tell her that.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27- Hiya.- Hi, hi, hi.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30Pearl is going to Eton.

0:03:30 > 0:03:31What?

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Where's the presents?

0:03:33 > 0:03:35Or Harrow. I don't mind.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Yeah, but ain't they boys' schools?

0:03:37 > 0:03:41- Why don't you show Auntie Donna what you've been working on?- Hi.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43- And then, maybe, she might give you a present.- Yeah.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Where's the present? - I've got your present.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Look, I'll be back in time for the start of the party.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49I just want to go and humiliate Ted first.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53All right, then. There you go, what do you say? Thank you...

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Very good. See, these are letters.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58- That's a K. - Yeah, I can see.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01And at her age. Yes.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Some people round here can't write properly at the age of 30,

0:04:04 > 0:04:07let alone three. Yes. Very good.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Where is she?- Where's who? - That light-fingered sister of yours?

0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Hey, watch your mouth, Ted. - She has scarpered with my property.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Why is it whenever anything goes missing,

0:04:17 > 0:04:19- it's always the Taylors that must've nicked it?- Cap? Fit?

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Yeah, well, it doesn't fit any of us and if anything's gone

0:04:22 > 0:04:25missing from your gaff it'll have nothing to do with my Bernie.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27It's not the flat. It's the allotment.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Are you serious?

0:04:29 > 0:04:31You're missing a couple of spuds and you think she's taken them?

0:04:31 > 0:04:34- It's not the spuds either.- Well, don't say sprouts cos she hates 'em.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36- It's my chess set.- You what?

0:04:36 > 0:04:39She was the last one in that shed and now it's gone,

0:04:39 > 0:04:41so it's gotta be her.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43- Chess?- Yes.- Kings and queens and all that cobblers?

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Yes. And it's not cobblers.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Yeah, not for an old man like you maybe.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50And not for Bernadette either. She's been playing for weeks.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52I've been teaching her. The hours we've spent in that shed,

0:04:52 > 0:04:55showing her all my best moves, and she repays me like this...

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Is this is where she's been rather than school?

0:04:57 > 0:05:01Well, if you're not going to tell me where she is, I'll have to find her meself.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Someone's busy.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Meeting a buyer. Well, maybe a buyer. Look...

0:05:15 > 0:05:17I want to apologise about earlier, OK.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19I shouldn't have come at you like that, it's just...

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Look, you wanted to make a sale, and you wanted to make it quick.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yeah.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27And there's nothing more to it than that, no?

0:05:27 > 0:05:31Look, I ain't been a copper for a long time, all right.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35You ain't been around coppers for a long time yourself, so...

0:05:35 > 0:05:39I'm just saying I've got a nose for these sort of things and something don't seem right.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Look, I can't raise that sort of cash this quick.

0:05:44 > 0:05:48But if you need some other sort of help...

0:05:48 > 0:05:50If someone's putting the squeeze on ya...

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Then you just get squeezed too.

0:05:55 > 0:05:56Is that what's happening?

0:05:58 > 0:06:00No, no, no. I'm fine, Jack.

0:06:02 > 0:06:03Really.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Yeah, I thought you'd say that.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13Thought I'd say it anyway.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Another punter did the same earlier on.

0:06:26 > 0:06:27What, just come in to use the khazi?

0:06:27 > 0:06:30Yeah, then went straight back out again.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34OK, I'm sorry, all right?

0:06:34 > 0:06:39But what you said to Georgi earlier, honestly, Shirl, it's true.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41I really was just trying to do the best thing.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Do you know anything about Georgi's mum?

0:06:44 > 0:06:47- Well, no.- Did you ask?

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- Well...- No, because you weren't really interested, were you?

0:06:50 > 0:06:53- What's that mean?- It means none of this is about Georgi.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56It's all about you, trying to prove that you're a good mum.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Yeah, there you go, mate.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07- All right, pal, take care... - 'Ere, Martin, you seen Bernadette?

0:07:07 > 0:07:10No. Although, Robbie said she was here earlier.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13- Banging on about chess sets or something.- Chess sets?

0:07:13 > 0:07:17- Yeah, she's getting into all that now, isn't she?- Oh, she's getting into it all right.

0:07:19 > 0:07:20Hello, Barrow Boy!

0:07:21 > 0:07:24- You all right? - Don't I look it?

0:07:25 > 0:07:27- Sorry, can I help you? - Oh, I'm sure you can.

0:07:27 > 0:07:28Don't mind, do ya?

0:07:29 > 0:07:32No, I'll let you off.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Cor, don't do me a favour, will ya?

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Sorry, I was just sayin'...

0:07:38 > 0:07:40I'm winding you up, mate.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Your face! It's a pretty one, all right.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54What are you doing?

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Is that one of Ted's, do you reckon?

0:07:59 > 0:08:00Must be.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04So what's it doing under Bernie's bed?

0:08:04 > 0:08:06That's what I want to know.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Vincent! Vincent!

0:08:16 > 0:08:18What the hell are you up to?

0:08:18 > 0:08:19What?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21- What was that note all about? - Has Kim seen it?

0:08:21 > 0:08:25No, Pearl got to it first and then I binned it.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28Vincent.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Come on, Bronson.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35I've just seen Ted back in the Square.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37He's looking for you, you know.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Did you take his chess set?

0:08:39 > 0:08:40No.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45Well, yeah, but not take it, not like that, I just borrowed it,

0:08:45 > 0:08:48that's all. I wanted to put some practice in.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Where is it then?- At home.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53Well, just bring it back and explain.

0:08:53 > 0:08:54Apart from one piece.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58The white queen.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Well, it was white.

0:09:01 > 0:09:03Well, where is it then?

0:09:08 > 0:09:12I've messed up, ain't I? I've really messed up this time.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18They're your family, Vincent.

0:09:18 > 0:09:19I know...

0:09:19 > 0:09:23And you were just going to walk out on them, like that?

0:09:23 > 0:09:24Is this my fault?

0:09:25 > 0:09:26What?

0:09:26 > 0:09:29All the stuff I was saying about your dad?

0:09:29 > 0:09:32How you were better off without him?

0:09:32 > 0:09:35We weren't better off without him, not really.

0:09:35 > 0:09:36Yeah, so why do you think Kim

0:09:36 > 0:09:40and Pearl would be better off without you?

0:09:40 > 0:09:43Vincent, if you ever,

0:09:43 > 0:09:47ever get into that state again, you talk to us.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50You talk to your family.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53You don't just try and do a runner and leave some stupid note behind.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56It was a blip, right? I didn't mean it, not...

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Not really, I just panicked.

0:10:02 > 0:10:03But you're OK now?

0:10:05 > 0:10:06Yeah.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Promise?

0:10:09 > 0:10:10Promise.

0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Oh, come on. It's not actually lost though, is it?- What?

0:10:16 > 0:10:17OK, it's...

0:10:19 > 0:10:21..missing.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22But give it time...

0:10:22 > 0:10:26I haven't got time though, have I? Mr Murray already knows it's gone.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29When Ted realises what actually happened he'll probably have

0:10:29 > 0:10:30a big laugh.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36It is still going to be a huge relief.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42I got your message.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Ah, is she here?

0:10:51 > 0:10:53We want a word with you.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55What about?

0:10:55 > 0:10:57You and my teenage daughter.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59The two of ya...

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Locked in your shed.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02HE MOUTHS

0:11:07 > 0:11:11You've got it all wrong, Shirl. I weren't trying to prove nothing.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15- Well, you're the expert on that. - I just felt sorry for her.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18All right, have a pop at me when I've done something wrong. But I ain't just going to lie down...

0:11:18 > 0:11:20- Why do you think she did it? - What?

0:11:20 > 0:11:24Why do you think Zsa Zsa didn't ring you when she needed help?

0:11:24 > 0:11:27And don't say you didn't think about it, cos you mentioned it to me.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31- We're just going through a rough patch...- Because you're a kid.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34You're a 43-year-old kid that goes about with

0:11:34 > 0:11:35Liquorice Allsorts on her arm.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38One day a lesbian, the next a marriage wrecker.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40And when you're not doing all of that, you're waking

0:11:40 > 0:11:44up in some pub bog with a tattoo of Peter Pan on your bum.

0:11:44 > 0:11:45Leg.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49Not knowing whether you've had it off with some loser.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Why didn't Zsa Zsa ring you when she needed help?

0:11:56 > 0:11:57I can't imagine.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Let's see if we can see Daddy. Can you see Daddy?

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Come on, quick, quick, quick. Mind your step. Come on.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16- You all right? - Hey, you, come on in, you.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18We just thought we'd come by

0:12:18 > 0:12:21and come along to wish you good luck before the kids arrive.

0:12:21 > 0:12:22Yeah, I'll be back as quick as I can.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26Oh, and we've got some news as well.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Our daughter is a genius.

0:12:28 > 0:12:32It's official. I can show you the evidence when you get back.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34- All right... - So have you got any news?

0:12:34 > 0:12:37You said you was going to show someone some papers or something?

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Oh, it didn't quite work out.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43- But Savannah's actually found someone else. A cash buyer this time too.- Oh, cash?

0:12:43 > 0:12:46Apparently he's seen the place before. Savannah's shown him round,

0:12:46 > 0:12:48and he'll be back in a few minutes.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51OK, well, it's a good thing that I brought this then. Yeah...

0:12:53 > 0:12:55I've always fancied you in that.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57I'm trying to sell the place to someone,

0:12:57 > 0:12:58not do a "ting" with them, Babes.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02Vincent, when somebody's going to hand over that kind of money,

0:13:02 > 0:13:04you lay back and you think of England.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Yeah, that's what you do.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10What?

0:13:10 > 0:13:15It might not be the amount of cash we was counting on.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Probably the reason why the punter's so interested all of a sudden.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21I've had to reduce the price.

0:13:21 > 0:13:22By how much?

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Enough.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29That's all we need, isn't it? Enough.

0:13:29 > 0:13:33I mean, anything more it's just, I dunno, just greedy.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Yeah?

0:13:36 > 0:13:38I don't deserve you.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Oh... Oh... Hold on a minute, say that again.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44- I want to record it. - I'm being serious.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46And so am I.

0:13:46 > 0:13:47Say it again.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52I...don't...deserve...you.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56Thank you.

0:13:56 > 0:13:57See you later. Say, "Bye, Daddy."

0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Bye.- Bye.- See you later, baby.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02OK. Good luck, Babe, OK? Come on, let's go.

0:14:02 > 0:14:03Quick, quick, quick...

0:14:05 > 0:14:07Hey, do you want me to come in with you?

0:14:07 > 0:14:10I'll do it. You're right. I should've done it from the start.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Just hope I ain't done too much damage.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14I told you, it's a waiting game.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16I wasn't talking about the chess piece.

0:14:16 > 0:14:20Mr Murray's spent ages teaching me which pieces move where.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23Beginners. That is his favourite opponent.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26He didn't have to. Just hope I ain't upset him too much.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Ted is a reasonable man.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31His bark is a lot worse than his bite. See ya.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34See ya. All right, all right.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35- TED:- I don't believe I'm hearing this.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37Yeah, and I can't believe what you've been doing.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40I'm not going to say this again to either of you.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42I haven't done anything!

0:14:48 > 0:14:50I'm waiting for someone.

0:14:50 > 0:14:51No, Vincent.

0:14:53 > 0:14:54You're waiting for me.

0:14:58 > 0:14:59Oh, here she is...

0:15:01 > 0:15:03- You found it?- I found it.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Under your bed, Bernie.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Do you know what they're accusing me of?

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Do I look like a nonce?

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Of course you don't. Cos he ain't...

0:15:12 > 0:15:16- Yeah, you're probably just saying that cos he's got you under his spell.- Under my what?

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Yeah. Stockport Syndrome that is.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21- Stockholm, you dozy... - Expert, are you?

0:15:21 > 0:15:22Mum, you've got this so wrong.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Are you seriously telling me that you've been spending

0:15:24 > 0:15:28all your time with him moving stupid bits of wood around?

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Yes! And I'll show you.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36I reckon it suited you.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39- What?- If you're right, if I am just a big kid then maybe it's

0:15:39 > 0:15:42- because you always treated me like one.- Yeah, well, I didn't have much option, did I?

0:15:42 > 0:15:45Oh, cos that's you all over innit? Y'know, you and me, you and Hev?

0:15:45 > 0:15:47What's Hev got to do with this?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49You always did need somebody to kick around.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Mum should have got you a poodle when we was little to give the rest of us a break.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Oh, is that it?

0:15:54 > 0:15:57Everything that went wrong in Tina's life is down to her big sister?

0:15:57 > 0:16:01No, not everything, no. I was a rubbish mum, I admit it.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04- But at least I only let down one kid, I never walked out on three. - Keep going, Teen!

0:16:04 > 0:16:07What are you saying? That I turned one of mine into a rapist too?

0:16:07 > 0:16:11And I tried to change, but you wouldn't have it, would you?

0:16:11 > 0:16:13What are you talking about?

0:16:13 > 0:16:15I would've gone to the police about Janet if it hadn't been for you.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18Because I knew what would happen. You wouldn't last five minutes inside.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Because you know everything, don't you?

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Well, when it concerns you, it's not exactly difficult. So yeah, maybe I do.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25Doesn't matter what I want, doesn't matter what I say,

0:16:25 > 0:16:28- it's all about you and no-one else.- You've got a tongue in your head!

0:16:28 > 0:16:31- Why didn't you tell me to take a running jump?- I did. With Mum.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34- What are you on about now? - Oh, hit a nerve, have I?

0:16:34 > 0:16:37Saint Sylvie and her little helper.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39No, she weren't no saint, no.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42But, yeah, I did help her, and a hell of a lot more than you did.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45And, yeah, I might have been a rubbish mum,

0:16:45 > 0:16:48but I wasn't a rubbish daughter and you hate that, don't you?

0:16:48 > 0:16:50That really screws up your head, doesn't it?

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Cos that is something that I did, all by myself and you didn't

0:16:52 > 0:16:55and you can't ever take that away from me neither.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58- And you'll never let us forget it, will you? And we all know why. - What does that mean?

0:16:58 > 0:17:01Because it's the one, sad little thing that you've ever

0:17:01 > 0:17:04done in your life that is half decent.

0:17:04 > 0:17:08And the trouble is, there's nothing else, is there?

0:17:08 > 0:17:12That's why you keep going on about it all the time.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Not one single, solitary, thing.

0:17:18 > 0:17:19Shirl...

0:17:30 > 0:17:31What is it?

0:17:36 > 0:17:39That's the third one in the last half hour.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40Right.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51Get out! And don't come back.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54The same goes for you.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Boss ain't going to like this.

0:18:04 > 0:18:05The boss?

0:18:22 > 0:18:25So this has all been a game?

0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Call it what you will, Vincent. - What else would you call it?

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Having me running around for the last couple of hours,

0:18:31 > 0:18:33collecting all this,

0:18:33 > 0:18:35when there weren't no buyers anyway?

0:18:35 > 0:18:36You had me waste all this time -

0:18:36 > 0:18:39time you told me to use trying to get rid of this place.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41At a knock down price, I've been hearing.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44Which means less money for me in the end.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47So you've been talking to some of the punters, I see?

0:18:47 > 0:18:50And I don't see this as a waste of time.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53I have been looking forward to sitting down with my people,

0:18:53 > 0:18:56seeing how we can maximise revenue and cut costs.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59You see, Vincent,

0:18:59 > 0:19:03I have no confidence that you will sell The Albert at any price

0:19:03 > 0:19:07and therefore I have no confidence that I will see my money.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09So in lieu of that hard cash...

0:19:11 > 0:19:13..I will accept the next best thing.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Bricks and mortar.

0:19:18 > 0:19:22This place is worth a lot more than what I owe you.

0:19:23 > 0:19:24No problem.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Bring me the cash instead.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Don't tell me.- What?

0:20:12 > 0:20:15Do you want to do it or shall I?

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Do what?

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Checkmate.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22So this really is what you've been doing?

0:20:22 > 0:20:25And getting better and better at it every day.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Which is no excuse for taking my set home.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31I'm sorry, I really am, I was only meant to keep

0:20:31 > 0:20:34it for a couple of hours, you know, just to practise...

0:20:34 > 0:20:37And then it got knocked over and I saw Bronson and I thought...

0:20:37 > 0:20:40All right, maybe... Maybe I should say sorry, too.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44But you must admit it does look a bit weird.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46You know, old man, young girl...

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Maybe keep it at sorry, eh, Mum?

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Still a bit weird if you ask me.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51No-one has, so shut up.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? Return match?

0:20:57 > 0:20:58Return match.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Still be the same result though.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Nonce...

0:21:10 > 0:21:12This... This... This can't be legal.

0:21:15 > 0:21:20I can't just sign a piece of paper and you get my business.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23You're right, that would require two pieces of paper.

0:21:23 > 0:21:28This property is a separate legal entity to the business, The Albert.

0:21:28 > 0:21:32And as I'm acquiring both, I need to effect two transfers.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35But if you were just to sign the property to me without me

0:21:35 > 0:21:37paying you any money,

0:21:37 > 0:21:40a court could argue that I was just holding the property as a trustee.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42So let's make this all above board.

0:21:45 > 0:21:49As far as the business is concerned, we just need to complete a stock transfer form

0:21:49 > 0:21:53and issue some share certificates as proof of ownership.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04This...

0:22:04 > 0:22:06..is all...

0:22:06 > 0:22:08..I have.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14It pays the mortgage on my house.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17My wife and daughter - it keeps a roof...

0:22:19 > 0:22:20..over their heads.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Look, my daughter's having a birthday party,

0:22:25 > 0:22:27it starts in a few minutes.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29If I sign this...

0:22:31 > 0:22:32..I have nothing.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37They have nothing.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44You will have your health, Vincent.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49And the breath in your body.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55DOOR OPENS

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Savannah!

0:22:57 > 0:22:59You found a new buyer?

0:23:01 > 0:23:03Are we all done here?

0:23:03 > 0:23:06You've softened him up nicely.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Nice doing business with you.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12Thank you.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03KNOCK AT DOOR

0:24:07 > 0:24:10You all right, love? Bernie...

0:24:10 > 0:24:12What?

0:24:13 > 0:24:16I got it wrong, OK? Hands up.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19But your brother's right, it is a bit weird.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Chess ain't weird, lots of people play it.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24But you spending all your time in some shed with a bloke

0:24:24 > 0:24:25old enough to be your grandad.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Yeah, and Mr Trueman.

0:24:27 > 0:24:30All right, two blokes old enough to be your grandad.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Why don't you hang around with people your own age for a change?

0:24:35 > 0:24:38- I don't want to. - Well, I want you to.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41- You should be having fun. - I am having fun.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42Proper fun.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45What? Boozing it up like Keegan, you mean? Rolling home legless?

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Exactly. Normal stuff.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51You can start tomorrow.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54In the meantime, why don't you find some school friends online?

0:24:54 > 0:24:57You know, see if there's any parties coming up or something.

0:24:57 > 0:24:58Mum!

0:24:59 > 0:25:01OK, OK.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08Love you.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23Yes.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Yes!

0:25:24 > 0:25:26That's it, Kimberley.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28That is the cake!

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Ay! Who put this in there? Huh?

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Artist as well as a genius.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45Just in time - the first of the kids have just arrived, yeah?

0:25:45 > 0:25:49So, how did it go? Did he bite?

0:25:49 > 0:25:51Yeah.

0:25:51 > 0:25:55What did I tell you? Lucky jacket. Rrrr...

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Listen, I'm going to open up something fizzy, yeah?

0:25:58 > 0:26:00It's time to celebrate.

0:26:00 > 0:26:01Whoo!

0:26:15 > 0:26:17RADIO PLAYS

0:26:20 > 0:26:22- Some of us are trying to sleep. - Yeah...

0:26:22 > 0:26:24Some of us were trying to sleep at three o'clock this morning

0:26:24 > 0:26:26when you come clattering in.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Here. Extra black pudding there, you need the iron.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32- Thanks, Shirl.- We can pick the keys up to the bedsit after 11.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36- You're leaving? - No choice now Mum knows I'm here.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Walford's own Mother Teresa.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41Thanks, Shirley, you've really helped.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53These waterproof tenners are the dog's.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Survived the wash in Mr Lewis's pocket.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57You know that's stealing?

0:26:57 > 0:26:59- You keep an eye on your homework. - It's not homework.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01I'm starting a club at school.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06You know you're going to get crucified for that, don't you?

0:27:06 > 0:27:08- Shut up.- It is a bit of a bully-target, love.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Well, you're the one telling me to make friends my own age.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13I know, but the specky, nerdy gang...

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Oh, Bernie, love, I didn't mean...

0:27:17 > 0:27:19- I'm ringing you both in sick.- Yes!

0:27:19 > 0:27:22No, you need to spend the day with your sister.

0:27:22 > 0:27:23I'd rather go to school.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26Someone needs to teach her how to be a normal teenager.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29She's a loner, there's no changing that.

0:27:30 > 0:27:31Bernie!

0:27:33 > 0:27:35- Hey.- You all right?- Yeah.

0:27:37 > 0:27:39- Cup of tea?- Please.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42OK. Thanks for doing the nursery run.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45Pearl was so excited when she knew you were taking her.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47She cried all the way there.

0:27:47 > 0:27:49That's because she loves you.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52- We both do. - And I love you both too.- Mm.

0:27:53 > 0:27:56- Biscuits?- What do you want?

0:27:57 > 0:27:59Who says I want anything?

0:28:02 > 0:28:08Just a little something to celebrate the end of austerity.

0:28:08 > 0:28:11You were listening when I said that we still aren't that flush?

0:28:11 > 0:28:14- Yeah, but you sold The Albert though?- For a lower price.

0:28:14 > 0:28:17I bought you a pair of gold earrings like this for your birthday.

0:28:17 > 0:28:19Yeah, but these are Welsh gold.

0:28:21 > 0:28:23What's the difference?

0:28:23 > 0:28:24They're Welsh!

0:28:26 > 0:28:28Mined straight from Ben Nevis.

0:28:30 > 0:28:34So, if you don't mind lending me your...

0:28:35 > 0:28:39Our little flexible friend...

0:28:40 > 0:28:43I actually think I left my wallet in Pearl's bag.

0:28:43 > 0:28:49- OK, well, go and get it, then. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's the rush? I mean, I still have our...

0:28:49 > 0:28:50..flexible friend.

0:28:52 > 0:28:54SHE GIGGLES

0:28:54 > 0:28:55Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:28:55 > 0:28:57Family table, family table.

0:28:57 > 0:28:59- Upstairs.- Upstairs? - Upstairs.

0:29:02 > 0:29:04KIM GIGGLES

0:29:33 > 0:29:35Oi! What are you doin'?

0:29:39 > 0:29:40Scumbag.

0:29:45 > 0:29:47Ah, so you're back then?

0:29:47 > 0:29:51Yep. Linda got a couple of tickets for Mamma Mia! so I slipped Johnny a score.

0:29:51 > 0:29:55- He took one for the team, I hit the M6 sharpish.- Now you're here there's something...

0:29:55 > 0:29:57Yeah, hold up a minute cos I'm clucking for a decent cup of Rosie Lee.

0:29:57 > 0:30:00- Mick, we seriously need to talk. - Hey, Mick!

0:30:00 > 0:30:04Oh, lovely. Let me guess - you was bang on it last night?

0:30:04 > 0:30:07Oh, if only it was just last night.

0:30:07 > 0:30:10- What do you expect? I'm hardly welcome here, am I?- Oh, grow up!

0:30:10 > 0:30:12Oh, so is this what happens, yeah? The cat's away, the mice want to go

0:30:12 > 0:30:15- 12 rounds. Is this what you want to talk to me about?- No, listen...

0:30:15 > 0:30:16FROM UPSTAIRS: Help!

0:30:16 > 0:30:18Georgi!

0:30:18 > 0:30:20Who's Georgi?

0:30:24 > 0:30:28- Something's wrong.- No.

0:30:28 > 0:30:29No, nothing's wrong.

0:30:31 > 0:30:34- Your waters have broken.- But I'm not due yet!- Oh, brilliant!

0:30:34 > 0:30:37- Is she all right?- What does it look like?- Right, I'll go open up.

0:30:37 > 0:30:41What are you talking about, open up? I tell you what you're going to do, you're going to get her out of her

0:30:41 > 0:30:44before she spawns on Linda's goose down, otherwise it will be Armageddon.

0:30:44 > 0:30:47Georgi, we need to get you in the living room now.

0:30:47 > 0:30:48Call an ambulance.

0:30:49 > 0:30:52I walked around in the early stages with Zsa Zsa.

0:30:52 > 0:30:54And look how that turned out.

0:30:54 > 0:30:56Just call the ambulance!

0:30:58 > 0:31:01- Ms Lund's going to kill us if we bunk school again.- Chill.

0:31:01 > 0:31:05I called us in sick, and she ain't going to check anyway, is she?

0:31:05 > 0:31:08- Paedo pitch invasion! - You're a vulgar little lout, Keegan.

0:31:08 > 0:31:10And you know it's not true, so say you're sorry.

0:31:10 > 0:31:13What you crying for? It was a joke.

0:31:13 > 0:31:15- Ay, put this on.- What?

0:31:15 > 0:31:16Come on, don't be such a melt.

0:31:16 > 0:31:18Why are you doing this? You never hang with me.

0:31:18 > 0:31:21Well, everyone else is in school, ain't they?

0:31:21 > 0:31:24That's better! Go on, then, say cheese.

0:31:24 > 0:31:26- Cheese.- One more...

0:31:26 > 0:31:28No. Go away.

0:31:32 > 0:31:33- Ta.- Thank you.

0:31:33 > 0:31:36I still don't see how this timetable's any fairer?

0:31:36 > 0:31:37You been going through my stuff?

0:31:37 > 0:31:41Well, Dot wants to know when she's going to see Hope. Sunday for a couple of hours apparently.

0:31:41 > 0:31:43- Yeah, I'll do a lunch. - That's not the point, is it?

0:31:43 > 0:31:47- It's your right to have the children half the time.- Well, it's better than not seeing them at all, innit?

0:31:47 > 0:31:51- Do you know, I should get you measured up. Dot needs a new hall carpet.- Oh, not again.

0:31:51 > 0:31:54Look, the smoother it goes between me and Stace, the better it is for the kids.

0:31:54 > 0:31:56PHONE BEEPS

0:31:56 > 0:31:58See? Ye of little faith.

0:31:58 > 0:32:00She says I can have the kids now.

0:32:00 > 0:32:02What, while you're working?

0:32:02 > 0:32:04You can't put your life on hold for her.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06Being a dad is my life.

0:32:09 > 0:32:13- This can't be happening. - You've got to hang in there till we get you to hospital.

0:32:13 > 0:32:16I don't know, I'll ask... Is she breathing?

0:32:16 > 0:32:18- Are you thick?- Yes, yes, she's breathing.

0:32:18 > 0:32:22OK, you have to lay her on her side, put a pillow under her head.

0:32:22 > 0:32:24- No, no, no, no, the left side. - Well, what difference does it make?

0:32:24 > 0:32:26Why the left side?

0:32:27 > 0:32:30OK, cos it maximises the...

0:32:30 > 0:32:31Gimme the phone!

0:32:32 > 0:32:35Hello? Yeah, sorry about that.

0:32:35 > 0:32:38Yeah, my name's Shirley. Who am I talking to, please?

0:32:38 > 0:32:42Hello, Talitha, you need to get an ambulance here as quickly as possible.

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Yep. First-time mum.

0:32:44 > 0:32:46Baby is a couple of weeks premature.

0:32:46 > 0:32:48Yeah, brought on by the stress.

0:32:50 > 0:32:53Cor, business really been this good, Trace?

0:32:53 > 0:32:55We've had a lot of new faces in.

0:32:55 > 0:32:58Oh, yeah? Scarecrow Shirl losing her touch, is she?

0:33:02 > 0:33:05Oi, you want to use the khazi, buy a drink. This ain't a charity.

0:33:07 > 0:33:08- Shall we go to the park?- Yeah.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10Yeah? We go on the slides and the swings?

0:33:10 > 0:33:13- Yeah.- Yeah, best day ever! - Thanks for this.

0:33:13 > 0:33:15I can't get any housework done with them under my feet.

0:33:15 > 0:33:17It's all right. It must be tough on your own.

0:33:17 > 0:33:19- I'm managing. - I didn't mean it like that.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21KNOCK AT DOOR

0:33:24 > 0:33:27- All right.- How are you doing? - Yeah, good. They're just in here.

0:33:27 > 0:33:28Right.

0:33:29 > 0:33:32Hey, I got your text. About taking Arthur? Hello.

0:33:32 > 0:33:34- Yeah. - Well, I just thought it was...

0:33:34 > 0:33:38No, you've got Hope and Kush has got Arthur and I get peace and quiet.

0:33:38 > 0:33:40- Can you bring 'em back by two, please?- Yep.

0:33:43 > 0:33:46- Come and say hello. Come on.- Go on, then. Go and see Daddy Kush.

0:33:46 > 0:33:48What have you got? You got cars.

0:33:48 > 0:33:50What are we going to do today?

0:34:39 > 0:34:42- Thirsty work.- Huh.

0:34:42 > 0:34:45Well, I hope you saved room for dessert.

0:34:45 > 0:34:48I've been watching my dairy.

0:34:48 > 0:34:49It's not for you.

0:34:49 > 0:34:51Huh...

0:34:51 > 0:34:52Huh!

0:34:56 > 0:34:58KIM GIGGLES

0:35:01 > 0:35:03She's having contractions every couple of minutes.

0:35:03 > 0:35:05You're going to be all right. I made you cup of tea.

0:35:05 > 0:35:09- I don't want tea, I want drugs. - Yeah, I know...

0:35:09 > 0:35:11Get off! Everything hurts.

0:35:14 > 0:35:15Ambulance won't be here for a while.

0:35:15 > 0:35:17She seems pretty close.

0:35:17 > 0:35:19Do you think? Hold on, please.

0:35:22 > 0:35:24Georgi...

0:35:24 > 0:35:26Ambulance is on its way.

0:35:26 > 0:35:29Now listen, they've told us to make you as comfortable as possible.

0:35:29 > 0:35:32So I'm going to take you through to my bedroom. All right? Tina.

0:35:35 > 0:35:37You're going to be all right. OK? I promise.

0:35:37 > 0:35:39Like your promises are worth...

0:35:39 > 0:35:41Aargh!

0:35:44 > 0:35:47Yeah! 2-0!

0:35:48 > 0:35:49Right. Say "loser"!

0:35:51 > 0:35:52Loser!

0:35:55 > 0:35:57Hey, Bernie, what have you done with your hat?

0:35:57 > 0:35:59What hat?

0:35:59 > 0:36:01The pointy, orange one.

0:36:09 > 0:36:11- Here, boys, get that down the old Gregory.- Cheers...

0:36:11 > 0:36:14SCREAMING FROM OTHER ROOM

0:36:14 > 0:36:17- Shirley's got it under control. - Shirley? As in Shirley?

0:36:17 > 0:36:19Shirley as in Shirley.

0:36:19 > 0:36:21All the towels are in the wash. Where's the spare ones?

0:36:21 > 0:36:24- Thought you was going to call an ambulance?- It's on its way.

0:36:24 > 0:36:26Go and get some tea towels out of the kitchen.

0:36:26 > 0:36:28Look, you've done this before...

0:36:28 > 0:36:31She don't want a geezer up there piping at her, she wants a nice friendly face.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33That's what she needs. Go on.

0:36:37 > 0:36:39Wish I'd stayed in Manchester.

0:36:39 > 0:36:43Manchester? Hey, The Five Hectors played there once, man.

0:36:43 > 0:36:46Rough crowd. And the place was as cold as a morgue.

0:36:46 > 0:36:49- I couldn't wait to get back to civilisation.- Ooh, careful.

0:36:49 > 0:36:52- MANCHESTER ACCENT:- Eh, what are you talking about, eh? Mad for it, y'know.

0:36:52 > 0:36:57Mad for it. Yeah. He's got it. He's got it.

0:36:57 > 0:36:59What's going on here?

0:36:59 > 0:37:01What, have we got public lav written on the outside?

0:37:01 > 0:37:03Well, it's been like Piccadilly Circus in there.

0:37:03 > 0:37:07Well, I made sure I had my daily constitutional before I left my house.

0:37:07 > 0:37:08Good.

0:37:11 > 0:37:14You logged in as me and did a whole story of stupid photos!

0:37:14 > 0:37:16- They're not that stupid. - They're hardly flattering.

0:37:16 > 0:37:20- I was just having some fun. - At my expense, as usual.

0:37:23 > 0:37:25She's... She's just got the wrong idea.

0:37:25 > 0:37:27Doubt it.

0:37:29 > 0:37:32Georgi? The ambulance. It might not get here on time...

0:37:32 > 0:37:35- It has to. I have to get to hospital.- The baby ain't waiting.

0:37:35 > 0:37:36Well, then tell them it's an emergency!

0:37:36 > 0:37:39It's all right, they're going to talk us through everything, OK?

0:37:39 > 0:37:42Now, I'm going to get you ready and have a little look, see where...

0:37:42 > 0:37:44Get your hands off me!

0:37:46 > 0:37:50- Where are you going?- Well, I don't think it's very hygienic me dripping blood everywhere, do you?

0:37:50 > 0:37:53- You can't leave me with her!- No, she's right.- You've seen Call The Midwife.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55I've seen Apollo 13, it don't mean I can fly to the moon.

0:37:55 > 0:37:59- Just do what they tell you.- Aargh!

0:38:08 > 0:38:10Let's have my phone.

0:38:16 > 0:38:20I wasn't laughing at you, all right? I was just trying to help.

0:38:20 > 0:38:22Put you out there and get you some mates.

0:38:22 > 0:38:23I can find my own mates.

0:38:23 > 0:38:25- What, through a stupid chess club? - It's not stupid.

0:38:25 > 0:38:27Come on, it's a bit embarrassing.

0:38:27 > 0:38:30So, that's what this is about? You're embarrassed of me!

0:38:30 > 0:38:31I'm not cool enough for you.

0:38:33 > 0:38:34This wasn't even my idea!

0:38:38 > 0:38:39Mum gave it to me.

0:38:41 > 0:38:42Mum paid you to hang out with me?

0:38:42 > 0:38:44Look, have it.

0:38:44 > 0:38:47- Keep it. You earned it! - I'd have done it for nothing.

0:38:47 > 0:38:48Whatever.

0:38:51 > 0:38:54Look, Mum's wrong, OK? You shouldn't change.

0:38:54 > 0:38:57- You've just got your own thing going on.- You mean I'm a freak.

0:38:57 > 0:39:01No, I mean, trying to fit in is the easy option and...

0:39:01 > 0:39:03..maybe you've got it right.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05Like, you are who you are and if people don't like it,

0:39:05 > 0:39:07it's their loss, innit, cos...

0:39:09 > 0:39:11Well, cos...

0:39:11 > 0:39:13..you're all right, innit.

0:39:17 > 0:39:19I'm starving.

0:39:21 > 0:39:24- Please get us that ambulance. - I can feel it, I want to push!

0:39:24 > 0:39:26She says she wants to push.

0:39:26 > 0:39:28No, they said don't push. Not yet.

0:39:28 > 0:39:29I can't help it!

0:39:29 > 0:39:32Don't! I know it's hard, but I need to look first.

0:39:32 > 0:39:34I don't want your booze breath all over it.

0:39:34 > 0:39:36- You ain't got much choice. - Nah, don't touch me.

0:39:36 > 0:39:39I just need to see what's happening with the baby, all right?

0:39:39 > 0:39:42I don't even want it. Just get it out and take it away.

0:39:42 > 0:39:45You are going to love this baby.

0:39:45 > 0:39:47All right? OK? All right.

0:39:47 > 0:39:49Now, we're going to do this, all right?

0:39:49 > 0:39:52We're going to do it together. OK.

0:39:52 > 0:39:54Don't you worry. It's going to be all right.

0:39:54 > 0:39:57OK? Now, lift your leg up.

0:39:57 > 0:39:59That's it. Good girl.

0:39:59 > 0:40:01OK. All right.

0:40:02 > 0:40:04OK, all right.

0:40:04 > 0:40:06Well done. OK.

0:40:06 > 0:40:08I can see the top of the head.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10Yeah, OK.

0:40:10 > 0:40:15All right, so... Listen, you are fully dilated so if you want to push, you can now, all right?

0:40:15 > 0:40:17What about the ambulance?

0:40:17 > 0:40:19You're stuck with me and my booze breath.

0:40:19 > 0:40:22Are you ready? All right, hold on to me. That's it.

0:40:22 > 0:40:24Come on. Come on! You can do it.

0:40:45 > 0:40:47Beware pregnant women with a good right hook.

0:40:47 > 0:40:49Not the only thing that's been going on.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52Takings are up, new boats in the bar, dossers in the alleyway.

0:40:52 > 0:40:54- I wonder why? - I was going to tell you.

0:40:54 > 0:40:57Oh, yeah, when? Before or after we got raided?

0:40:57 > 0:41:00There's been this bloke coming in over the last couple of days.

0:41:00 > 0:41:04Every time I turf him out, once my back's turned, he's back in again.

0:41:04 > 0:41:07Why is it every time I go away, this place goes west?

0:41:07 > 0:41:08Eh?

0:41:11 > 0:41:12Mick.

0:41:13 > 0:41:16Don't go wading in there with your size 12s.

0:41:16 > 0:41:18He's not the only one, is he? He said something about a boss.

0:41:18 > 0:41:21- Oh, yeah who's that? - Well, I don't know, do I?

0:41:21 > 0:41:24But he's not going to be small fry.

0:41:25 > 0:41:27We're definitely getting there.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30- We?- You. You...

0:41:30 > 0:41:34It's all you. Yeah, and you're doing amazing.

0:41:34 > 0:41:38Save your strength, all right, you're going to need it.

0:41:38 > 0:41:39SHE SCREAMS

0:41:39 > 0:41:40OK, all right.

0:41:40 > 0:41:43Come on! Push! That's it.

0:41:43 > 0:41:45The head is almost out.

0:41:45 > 0:41:49You've got this, Georgi! That's it, come on.

0:41:55 > 0:41:57Can I help you, mate?

0:41:57 > 0:41:59- Where's my cut?- Uh?

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Well, this is my boozer, innit?

0:42:01 > 0:42:05And we're all businessmen, ain't we, so...

0:42:05 > 0:42:07Don't know what you're talking about.

0:42:07 > 0:42:10I'm talking about you, the monkey!

0:42:10 > 0:42:13I want a sit down with the organ grinder.

0:42:13 > 0:42:14A "sit down".

0:42:15 > 0:42:17You've been watching too much Sopranos.

0:42:18 > 0:42:19I've been round East End boozers

0:42:19 > 0:42:22since before you was a twitch in your old man's trousers.

0:42:22 > 0:42:26I've seen more bugle than the Coldstream Guard.

0:42:26 > 0:42:30Seriously? Well, you must've known the Snowman, then?

0:42:30 > 0:42:32He was a total ledge.

0:42:34 > 0:42:37Yeah, yeah. The Snowman. Legend.

0:42:37 > 0:42:39Terrible what happened.

0:42:39 > 0:42:41Was terrible, yeah...

0:42:41 > 0:42:42All that heat on him.

0:42:42 > 0:42:44Not surprising he melted.

0:42:48 > 0:42:50Who are you working for? Eh?

0:42:52 > 0:42:53Calm down, Grandad.

0:42:53 > 0:42:55You'll have an heart attack.

0:42:55 > 0:42:57Come here, all right. Get out.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59Go on. And don't come back.

0:42:59 > 0:43:01- Cos I'll stick it right on you! - Like that'll happen.

0:43:01 > 0:43:04- You ain't got a clue, bruv. - Get out there.

0:43:04 > 0:43:07GEORGI SCREAMS

0:43:07 > 0:43:09The head is out. The head's out.

0:43:09 > 0:43:10You're doing so good, Georgi!

0:43:10 > 0:43:12I can't! I'm done.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15I haven't got anything left.

0:43:15 > 0:43:17I want my mum...

0:43:17 > 0:43:18You are the mum now.

0:43:18 > 0:43:21All right? And your baby has got the most beautiful head of hair.

0:43:21 > 0:43:24And the cutest, tiniest little nose.

0:43:24 > 0:43:26You can see when it's out, all right?

0:43:26 > 0:43:28But only you can make this happen.

0:43:28 > 0:43:31And you can make it happen, Georgi, I know you can.

0:43:31 > 0:43:34All right? OK? Are you ready to push again?

0:43:34 > 0:43:36Yeah, all right.

0:43:36 > 0:43:39- Budge up, budge up.- Yeah, I've got this, all right. Just keep her calm.

0:43:39 > 0:43:43Come on, Georgi, that's it. Come on. You're doing it, all right!

0:43:43 > 0:43:46- Push, push, push! - You're going to be so proud.

0:44:12 > 0:44:14Whit, it's only me.

0:44:14 > 0:44:18I just wondered if you fancied a coffee or something?

0:44:18 > 0:44:22Martin and Kush have got the kids so, yeah, call me back.

0:45:09 > 0:45:10Cheers, Marie.

0:45:16 > 0:45:18Er, don't look now, OK...

0:45:18 > 0:45:21- What?- I said don't look now!

0:45:21 > 0:45:24You certainly haven't lost your touch, have ya?

0:45:24 > 0:45:27- I think we're going to leave you to crack on.- Whoa, whoa.

0:45:27 > 0:45:28Where do you think you're going?

0:45:28 > 0:45:31Well, it ain't me she's interested in, is it?

0:45:31 > 0:45:33- Sexy beast, you sexy beast. - You are not leaving me with her.

0:45:33 > 0:45:35- Kush? Kush!- OK...

0:45:40 > 0:45:42DOOR CLOSES

0:45:45 > 0:45:47Age.

0:45:47 > 0:45:51Time was I could have five pints and never break the seal.

0:45:51 > 0:45:55Nowadays I might as well pour it straight through.

0:45:55 > 0:45:56Yeah.

0:45:56 > 0:45:58Gets us all, Ted.

0:45:58 > 0:45:59Gets us all.

0:46:03 > 0:46:06- You are such a wimp, you know that?- Shut up...- You are.

0:46:06 > 0:46:09Well, if you ain't interested, then you should tell her.

0:46:09 > 0:46:11Let her down gently then.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13Do you know what, mate? Could you watch Hope for me?

0:46:13 > 0:46:16Cos I've got to shoot home. I just forgot her little hat.

0:46:16 > 0:46:19Oh, did you? No, it's too late, it's too late. She's coming...

0:46:23 > 0:46:25You can't dump that there!

0:46:25 > 0:46:28Says who? This your caff, is it?

0:46:29 > 0:46:32- Thought not! - Do you know what? I'll get them.

0:46:32 > 0:46:34- Don't worry.- Ain't you lovely?

0:46:35 > 0:46:37Ain't all melts round here.

0:46:40 > 0:46:42Ah, she's a doll? What's her name?

0:46:45 > 0:46:47- Hope.- I'm Hayley.

0:46:48 > 0:46:50Yeah, I've got a three-year-old.

0:46:50 > 0:46:52With his dad this week though.

0:46:52 > 0:46:53You're single, then?

0:46:53 > 0:46:55Well, he ain't.

0:46:55 > 0:46:57- Well...- He is.

0:46:58 > 0:47:00- Really?- It's complicated.

0:47:03 > 0:47:05It's lovely to see you again...

0:47:05 > 0:47:06..Hayley.

0:47:08 > 0:47:09I've just got to shoot off, cos the stall...

0:47:09 > 0:47:11No, no, no. I'll cover for you.

0:47:11 > 0:47:13- Well...- No, no, don't thank me.

0:47:13 > 0:47:17No. Come on. Shall we leave him to it?

0:47:17 > 0:47:20- Thanks, mate.- No worries. - Bye.- Bye, mate.

0:47:21 > 0:47:22Good boy.

0:47:24 > 0:47:26All right?

0:47:26 > 0:47:27Want a chip?

0:47:29 > 0:47:31Aargh!

0:47:31 > 0:47:34- It shouldn't hurt this much. - I know, it does.

0:47:34 > 0:47:36They say you forget about the pain, but I still remember it.

0:47:36 > 0:47:38- Yeah, but, you know, it's worth it, though, innit?- Oh, yeah.

0:47:38 > 0:47:41You're going to be a great mum. That's it.

0:47:41 > 0:47:44Come on. It's almost...

0:47:47 > 0:47:48SCREAMING STOPS

0:47:52 > 0:47:53Tina?

0:47:56 > 0:47:58What? What's happened?

0:47:59 > 0:48:03- BABY CRIES - You've had a baby, that's what.

0:48:04 > 0:48:08And he is amazing.

0:48:08 > 0:48:10- He?- Yeah, the size of his...

0:48:10 > 0:48:13It's definitely a boy!

0:48:15 > 0:48:18Say hello to Mama.

0:48:20 > 0:48:22That sounds like a healthy cry.

0:48:22 > 0:48:24I hope so.

0:48:24 > 0:48:26Let's take a look.

0:48:26 > 0:48:27You've done brilliantly.

0:48:38 > 0:48:40I'm going to make that my profile.

0:48:40 > 0:48:42You know what, I'll do the same.

0:48:45 > 0:48:47Right, put her straight, yeah?

0:48:47 > 0:48:50Tell her that I weren't being nasty to you.

0:48:53 > 0:48:55Forget it.

0:48:55 > 0:48:56You're much better than him.

0:48:56 > 0:48:59- Let me talk to her.- No, just...

0:48:59 > 0:49:01- If she knew you like I do. - Yeah, but you don't know me, do ya?

0:49:01 > 0:49:03- But come on, Keegan.- You haven't got a clue about nothing.

0:49:03 > 0:49:06No wonder you ain't got no mates.

0:49:11 > 0:49:13- I just delivered a baby! - Well done, Teen.

0:49:16 > 0:49:17That is not the way.

0:49:17 > 0:49:20It is the way. It's the only way, Mother. Believe you me.

0:49:20 > 0:49:22We do not know what type of psycho we are dealing with.

0:49:22 > 0:49:25I don't care. We've crawled over glass to keep this gaff.

0:49:25 > 0:49:26Nobody's going to ruin it.

0:49:26 > 0:49:28They want to make one with me? Let's have it.

0:49:31 > 0:49:33He's been a star. Ain't you, mate? Been a star.

0:49:33 > 0:49:35- Did you have fun? - Yeah, we fed the ducks, didn't we?

0:49:35 > 0:49:37- More!- And then our own faces.- More!

0:49:37 > 0:49:40Yeah, no, you can't have any more cos we had chicken nuggets

0:49:40 > 0:49:42and chips, didn't we? All in there.

0:49:42 > 0:49:44I thought you was going with Martin?

0:49:44 > 0:49:46Yeah, we did. He's still in the caff.

0:49:47 > 0:49:51Well, I might go over there, cos I've got cabin fever in here.

0:49:51 > 0:49:53No, maybe just leave him to it, yeah?

0:49:53 > 0:49:55Why? Has he been bad mouthing me?

0:49:55 > 0:49:57No, of course not. He's just...

0:49:58 > 0:49:59He's talking to someone.

0:50:01 > 0:50:03- Oh, right.- It's nothing serious.

0:50:03 > 0:50:05And she's probably not even his type anyway.

0:50:05 > 0:50:07No, no, it's good. Good.

0:50:07 > 0:50:09I'm glad he's moving on.

0:50:09 > 0:50:12Yeah, you can't just turn it off, though, can you?

0:50:12 > 0:50:15I mean, you're bound to miss him.

0:50:15 > 0:50:17I mean, course you do.

0:50:17 > 0:50:19He's like an old pair of slippers.

0:50:19 > 0:50:22No, if he's happy, then I'm happy.

0:50:24 > 0:50:27We'll get you both checked out at the hospital.

0:50:27 > 0:50:29- Where have you been?- The market.

0:50:30 > 0:50:31For now, all right?

0:50:31 > 0:50:34I'm going to get everything else you need later.

0:50:34 > 0:50:36You don't have to.

0:50:36 > 0:50:38I want to. And we'll get that bedsit

0:50:38 > 0:50:41looking like a proper little home for him, yeah?

0:50:44 > 0:50:48Me and Zsa bought matching ones from this market in Spain.

0:50:48 > 0:50:50Could you two just give us a minute?

0:50:52 > 0:50:53Yeah, I'll come see you later.

0:51:00 > 0:51:02I'm really proud of you.

0:51:02 > 0:51:04Why? I've been a complete cow.

0:51:04 > 0:51:06I said some really horrible things to you.

0:51:06 > 0:51:08You know I don't mean 'em, don't you?

0:51:08 > 0:51:10Yeah, you did.

0:51:10 > 0:51:12And I meant what I said as well.

0:51:12 > 0:51:13Seriously?

0:51:13 > 0:51:16When responsibility comes along, you run in the other direction.

0:51:16 > 0:51:18- You always have.- I know.

0:51:19 > 0:51:21But you stepped up today.

0:51:21 > 0:51:23Just like you did with Mum.

0:51:23 > 0:51:25And that's what I don't understand,

0:51:25 > 0:51:27because you've got it in you.

0:51:27 > 0:51:28I'm sorry.

0:51:28 > 0:51:30Don't apologise.

0:51:31 > 0:51:32Just...

0:51:33 > 0:51:34..stop running.

0:51:34 > 0:51:36I ain't going nowhere.

0:51:38 > 0:51:39Come here.

0:51:43 > 0:51:46Now my eldest, Bex, doing her A Levels.

0:51:46 > 0:51:48Blimey, you started young.

0:51:49 > 0:51:51I didn't bother with exams.

0:51:51 > 0:51:52I ain't thick or nothing.

0:51:52 > 0:51:55No, I didn't think you were.

0:51:55 > 0:51:57Teacher said I had potential.

0:51:57 > 0:51:58Didn't say what kind.

0:52:00 > 0:52:01So what do you do, then?

0:52:01 > 0:52:03- Fashion.- Really?

0:52:03 > 0:52:06Oh, yeah, New York, Milan, Commercial Road.

0:52:07 > 0:52:10I'm on the phones, in the offices.

0:52:10 > 0:52:13Know every wholesaler in the East End.

0:52:13 > 0:52:15So, you are from round here, then?

0:52:15 > 0:52:18Oh, yeah, Bow Bells was the first thing I heard. You?

0:52:20 > 0:52:23Yeah, yeah, I was born here. And I'll probably die here.

0:52:23 > 0:52:25My Uncle Pete, he had the stall before me.

0:52:25 > 0:52:28Yeah, I bet you've got all the patter. "Get your melons."

0:52:28 > 0:52:30Yeah, you've got a lovely pear.

0:52:30 > 0:52:33Well, thank you. Two veg for your meat, sir?

0:52:37 > 0:52:38Look...

0:52:39 > 0:52:43Why don't you take my number, and give me a ring?

0:52:43 > 0:52:45We could go for a drink tomorrow?

0:52:50 > 0:52:53Tomorrow...football. Footie.

0:52:53 > 0:52:54Next week?

0:52:58 > 0:53:01You know, the thing is, you know, what with all the kids and that,

0:53:01 > 0:53:03I just don't really have much spare time.

0:53:03 > 0:53:04Well, if you find time.

0:53:08 > 0:53:09- Martin!- Huh?

0:53:12 > 0:53:15You were supposed to be back ages ago.

0:53:16 > 0:53:17Yeah, sorry, yeah...

0:53:17 > 0:53:19Look, you know, like, that wasn't what it looked like.

0:53:19 > 0:53:24I don't care. Do what you like. Have you even changed the baby?

0:53:24 > 0:53:27Yeah, I'm going to go and sort that right now. Come on, you.

0:53:31 > 0:53:34- Take a picture if you like. - Excuse me?

0:53:35 > 0:53:38Do you want a chip? They're proper dry.

0:53:39 > 0:53:41Bit like yourself.

0:53:41 > 0:53:43Who the hell do you think you are?

0:53:45 > 0:53:48SHE WHISPERS INAUDIBLY

0:54:21 > 0:54:24Hey, Zsa Zsa. It's Mum.

0:54:26 > 0:54:28Why am I thinking you've gone a bit OCD?

0:54:28 > 0:54:31I want that khazi checked every 15 minutes.

0:54:31 > 0:54:34I'm going to get Jekyll cameras in there and all.

0:54:43 > 0:54:44Don't, Mick...