0:00:26 > 0:00:30"The dynamic individual forges his own future.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39"Don't be swayed by the shallow... judgementalism of others."
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Ian...
0:00:44 > 0:00:47what's a bag of barbecue coals doing by the back door?
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Might fancy a barbecue.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52In March? Yeah, and what's this I hear about you doing
0:00:52 > 0:00:55a turn at the Vic's open mic night tonight?
0:00:55 > 0:00:57- OK? Who've you been talking to? - Well, is it true?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Might be. - I hope you're not going to sing.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Mum, thanks for your support.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Well, you're not, are ya?
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Not stand-up. Promise me you're not doing stand-up.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- TV:- A duty policeman has spoken of the dramatic moment
0:01:10 > 0:01:12he tried to save a motorbike rider...
0:01:12 > 0:01:13What're you doing on your day off?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Watching my favourite telly programmes.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Oh, not all that Police Camera cobblers, is it?
0:01:18 > 0:01:20And Ambulances - Do Not Disturb.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Waste of time. Why don't you go up London?
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Because if I go too far from here, I know you lot'll mess it up.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28All right, well, no more horse meat or I'll have to iron you out...
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- Shut up!- Get up there.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33..burst into a shop front while trying to avoid a speeding car.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Ian? On stage?
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Yeah, according to Phil who got it from Mick who got
0:01:38 > 0:01:39it from the horse's mouth.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- What's he any good at? - Well, Phil's counting on him
0:01:42 > 0:01:45dancing The Sugar Plum Fairy in a tutu with a kipper on his head.
0:01:45 > 0:01:46THEY CHUCKLE
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- You going?- Is the Pope a Catholic?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Here's someone who won't want to miss it.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51What's that?
0:01:51 > 0:01:54He'll explain. I've got to dash.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55Got to see an electrician.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59It's open mic night at the Vic.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Told you yesterday.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04And I seem to remember saying I'd be too tired.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07And if I told you that Ian was doing a turn?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Ooh, is that supposed to be an inducement?
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Just a thought.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13I'll probably be washing my hair. Sorry.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15HE SIGHS
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Cup of tea when you're ready, please.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23All right, babe?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25I'm going to go speak to him now.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I just want him home.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Look, he'll only blank you again.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33But Chatham and Riley are back tonight.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34I mean, what am I going to tell 'em
0:02:34 > 0:02:36when they ask where their brother is?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Look, it's me he's got the problem with.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41It's only right that I sort this out, OK?
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Now go and get dressed.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44But how?
0:02:44 > 0:02:45I'll think of something.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Hey, all right, son?
0:02:51 > 0:02:52What's the matter?
0:02:55 > 0:02:56I heard you.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- Heard what?- Last night.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Something about Keanu's dad.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Are we having French toast again?
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Er, actually no.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07You kids have been so good to me
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I've decided to take you all out to breakfast, one at a time!
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Keegan today, you tomorrow, Chatham and Riley the day after,
0:03:13 > 0:03:15just so we can get to know each other, y'know?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Why does he get to go first?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Because he was up first, all right? I'll get me coat.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- Oh. Morning.- Morning.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Shouldn't you have been at work by now?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30- I've pulled a sickie.- Why?
0:03:30 > 0:03:34Because I love you, Patrick, and I'm not going to sit on my hands
0:03:34 > 0:03:39and watch you make a complete idiot of yourself.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41We have had this conversation.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43I get the teenage love thing,
0:03:43 > 0:03:45y'know, when it was pure, when it was innocent.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Wasn't that innocent!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49You know, it's like "the one that got away", yeah, I get that, too.
0:03:49 > 0:03:54I'm sure she's, like, y'know... she's a lovely person,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57but marrying her? Living in the same house?
0:03:57 > 0:04:01With a woman that you haven't seen in the flesh for like,
0:04:01 > 0:04:0355 years?
0:04:03 > 0:04:05She is the love of me life.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Eh? I thought that was Yolande? And what about Audrey?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11No, no, no, no... She is a special one.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12Ah...
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Right.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17OK.
0:04:17 > 0:04:23So you're going to go all the way out there
0:04:23 > 0:04:26and marry her on the basis of what?
0:04:26 > 0:04:30A couple of weeks' worth of online chat messages?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32We have a spiritual connection.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38That...that has got to come from her, innit?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Why would you say that?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Because in all the years that I have known you, Patrick,
0:04:43 > 0:04:47I have never once heard you use the word "spiritual".
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Yeah, well, maybe she is changing me.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Maybe she's bringing things out in me
0:04:52 > 0:04:54that I just didn't know was there.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- Oh.- Yeah...
0:04:57 > 0:04:58And you've spoken to her?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01I mean, like, face-to-face?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- Of course not.- What's stopping ya? You're both online.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Me and the girls, we do it all the time.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know me and computers.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Come on, Patrick, I'm not buying that one.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13If you wanted to, you would find out how.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16But I can tell you why you haven't - it's because you're scared.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19You're scared of facing the reality,
0:05:19 > 0:05:23of that little fantasy bubble bursting in your face.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Listen to me now, man.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26She makes me happy and alive
0:05:26 > 0:05:30in a way that I have never felt since I had my stroke,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33and you're trying to take that away from me.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36When I think of the men that you've been with over the years,
0:05:36 > 0:05:38did I ever say anything at all to you?
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Well, maybe you should have.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41You might've saved me a whole load of grief.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Oh, where are you going now?
0:05:42 > 0:05:46I'm going to get dressed before I say something I'll regret.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Thank you. Cheers, Tina.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Oh, look who it is. It's my little princess.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Hi, have you missed me? Have you missed me?
0:05:56 > 0:05:57You all right?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Yeah, I've had six missed calls from my nan this morning.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02She didn't leave a message?
0:06:02 > 0:06:05No, she does it all the time. She drives me nuts.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08You going to this?
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Doubt it. Why?
0:06:11 > 0:06:15Bex is singing and Sonia's on lates, so I've sort of got to go.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- Oh. Good luck with that.- Yeah.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Ian's doing a turn.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- SHE SCOFFS - Yeah.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22I'll leave that one with you.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- All right.- Bye, princess.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- See ya.- See ya.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29There you go.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Thanks a lot.- Two full English coming up.- Bless you.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35So go on.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Y'know, son, I don't think this is a good idea.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39What?
0:06:39 > 0:06:40- Can I trust you?- Yes.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I swear.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Even if it upsets you?
0:06:46 > 0:06:47Dad, just...
0:06:49 > 0:06:53All right. I don't know the details.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56I'm only going from what your mum told me
0:06:56 > 0:06:58and this was a long time ago,
0:06:58 > 0:07:01but when Keanu was a baby,
0:07:01 > 0:07:04his dad tried to kill your mum.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Stabbed her with a kitchen knife. She was lucky to live.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Why?- Oh, just...
0:07:09 > 0:07:12she'd dumped him, he didn't like it.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14He was just a nasty piece of work, y'know?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Where was Keanu and Chantelle when all this was going on?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18I told you, I don't know the details.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21And, understandably, your mum don't want to chat about it.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24So, what happened to him?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- Who, Shane?- That was his name?
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Yeah, well, he was arrested.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32He...pleaded guilty and then, erm...
0:07:32 > 0:07:33he went down for 12 years.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37And where is he now?
0:07:37 > 0:07:38I don't know.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45And Keanu don't know nothing?
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Your mum won't tell him.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48She keeps on bottling it.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51That's what you heard us talking about last night.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52There you are.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Thanks a lot, darlin'.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Enjoy.- Lovely.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58I'm not hungry now.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02You can imagine what this did to your mum's state of mind.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04And I tried to help her, yeah?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06But when it's repeatedly chucked back in your face,
0:08:06 > 0:08:10there's only so much a man can take, y'know?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Is that why you left?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Shamefully, yeah.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Look, I don't blame your mum, y'know?
0:08:15 > 0:08:19After going through that, it's no wonder she couldn't trust a man.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21But...
0:08:21 > 0:08:25See, Keanu's got it in his head that I'm this big, bad wolf and I'm not.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26I mean, the real culprit...
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Well, you see my problem?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35So, what are you going to do now?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I've only got two options, ain't I? Leave...
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I don't want you to leave.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44..or I could find someone he trusts to convince him
0:08:44 > 0:08:47that I'm not as bad as he thinks I am.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49I'll do it.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Yeah?
0:08:53 > 0:08:54All right.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58This is what I want you to say...
0:09:06 > 0:09:07I...
0:09:12 > 0:09:15..I hate myself for having done this and you...
0:09:15 > 0:09:18you will probably hate me, too,
0:09:18 > 0:09:22but I didn't feel like I had any choice and I've read your messages.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- You've done what? - I'm glad that I did, too.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27How dare you?!
0:09:27 > 0:09:30You reckon that you're in love?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Think you've got a "spiritual connection"?
0:09:32 > 0:09:37It is pure filth, Patrick! Talk about explicit!
0:09:37 > 0:09:40If you were 15 years old, I might just about get that...
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Look, I'm having a midlife crisis!
0:09:42 > 0:09:44You're 77!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46She makes me feel young again, all right?!
0:09:46 > 0:09:49You said exactly the same thing about Yolande!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Leave Yolande out of it, all right?- OK, right.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- I think you'd better sit down for this.- Why?
0:10:00 > 0:10:04So, after I read the messages...
0:10:06 > 0:10:09..I put the name Renee de Boyne in a search engine
0:10:09 > 0:10:12along with the word "Trinidad".
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Got about 100 hits.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Y-you never thought to do that for yourself?
0:10:25 > 0:10:29You know that she got divorced the back end of last year?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Yeah, she told me.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Oh, and did you also know that
0:10:34 > 0:10:36she'd been divorced three times before that?
0:10:40 > 0:10:41It gets worse.
0:10:44 > 0:10:51Turns out that all of her ex-husbands were Caribbean expats...
0:10:52 > 0:10:54..all living in the UK.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00I can...
0:11:00 > 0:11:02And I can show you, if you want.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08I'm sorry.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Look, I, erm... I'm going down to the allotment.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17Yeah.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27SHE SIGHS, DOOR CLOSES
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Mum's in bits.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30He tell you to say that, did he?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33It's not fair on the rest of us.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- Come home.- When did I start taking orders from you?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37I'm asking you nicely.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40I'm not an idiot, Keegan.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- I know he sent you. - Yeah, so what if he did?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Ain't you got school?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48What if this was your dad and I was doing this to you?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50How would you feel?
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Please?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Yeah, all right.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Thank you.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Ted...
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Man, what're you doing?
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Joyce thinks I'm at the doctor's.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25But don't it hurt?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27No! That's the whole point.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Robbie, where do you see yourself in this world?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Are you a success?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Well, never really thought about it. - Do you want to be?
0:12:34 > 0:12:39What if I was to tell you that inside you, there is a superman?
0:12:39 > 0:12:43A superman that is literally capable of anything?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45The only thing holding you back is fear.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Now, you and me together, harnessing the power of now,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51we can overcome that fear.
0:12:51 > 0:12:56We can turn you into the man you always wanted to be.
0:12:56 > 0:12:57You up for it?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Yeah.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Good man.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Now, Joyce mentioned something about Australia.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Talking behind me back, is she?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Only in passing.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14She said something about not being able to afford it this year.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Doesn't help, I suppose.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Ted, Ted.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Look at me now, man. Look at me.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23We're friends, right? Friends talk?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Long enough to have been at the doctor's now.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38DOOR CLOSES
0:13:39 > 0:13:42"Beautiful Bathsheba leaves nothing to the imagination as
0:13:42 > 0:13:46"she strips naked to flaunt her phenomenal frame for the cameras."
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Is this what they call news nowadays?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50It must have gone half past by now.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54Look, Kee said he'll come, so he'll come, all right?
0:13:54 > 0:13:57I mean, who wants a robot woman like that, eh?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00When they've got a real woman like you at home? Come here.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- DOOR OPENS - Shh. Shh.- Hello?
0:14:09 > 0:14:10So you've come.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Fantastic.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Proud of you, son.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Now all you have to do is apologise and we can put this all behind us.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20I'm sorry for being a prat.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- Can I come home?- You don't really have to apologise, boy.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Course you can! Come here.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Hey, stop that.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32You'll get me crying next.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Now look what you made me do.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35Give me a sec.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46I'm doing this for Mum, not you.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50We're going to be one happy family.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53We both know you're going to mess this up at some point.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56So why don't you do us all a favour and just leave now?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02DOOR CLOSES
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- Hi.- All right?
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Yeah, I'm worried about Ted, though.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- What's the matter with him?- He...
0:15:16 > 0:15:17HE SIGHS
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Best not.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21He'd hate being talked about.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23And you?
0:15:26 > 0:15:27What's there to say?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31I've been a damned fool.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32No, don't beat yourself up.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36What you felt, it was... true, for you.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38At the time.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Listen, I've been thinking.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47You can still go to Trinidad.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51Only now, you're armed with what you know.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- Yeah...- And who knows, y'know, maybe she might...
0:15:55 > 0:16:00..she might turn out to be the real deal, y'know, after all.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Forget Trinidad, all right?
0:16:03 > 0:16:06We'll get the three-piece suite.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08I need a shower.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Evening, Mick.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16What's there two of you now?
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Yeah, we need to use your bathroom so we can get changed.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Bit early, in't ya? We don't kick off for ages.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Robbie's got to mentally prepare.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26What's with the fire extinguisher?
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Oi!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36What's he doing?
0:16:36 > 0:16:38He's jumping to a thousand.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40And when he gets to a thousand, he starts again.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Does it most nights.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Would you like to hold him?
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Not right now, son, if you don't mind.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- Is it always like this, then? - Yeah, pretty much.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56SHE HUMS You've got a good voice...
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Voice...
0:16:57 > 0:16:59This is what you wanted.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01One big, happy family.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Who's hungry?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Why don't you give it to the man of the house?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06He's been working all day.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Hang on, everyone. Shh!
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- MUFFLED:- Well, did you?! - Bernie, shut up.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Did you, or did you not go to the doctor's?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14You said I don't understand?!
0:17:14 > 0:17:18How can I ever understand when you won't even talk to me?!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Did you or did you not go to the doctor's?!
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Don't you dare walk away from me!
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- Explain the mud on your shoes! - Ted and Joyce from the Towers.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- Really?- She don't sound happy. - Shouldn't we do something?
0:17:29 > 0:17:30Nah.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Where are you going? - I don't know. Out!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35DOOR SLAMS
0:17:35 > 0:17:36As you were.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Here, chicken nuggets and chips.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- You want some sauce with that?- OK.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45Glad to be home?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Oh, you've been a long time.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Fancy a rum?
0:18:00 > 0:18:01OK, look, look, look...
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I've had another idea.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Why don't we both go to Trinidad?
0:18:08 > 0:18:12And you can check out that Renee and, y'know, if it doesn't work out,
0:18:12 > 0:18:16then it's not the end of the world because we're still on holiday.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Will you stop trying to make me feel better?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21We're getting the three-piece suite and that is the end of it,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23all right?!
0:18:23 > 0:18:24DOORBELL RINGS
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Joyce.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Ted swears blind he went to the doctor today, but I know he didn't.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37He's come back, no prescription, nothing.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40And the doctor - amazingly - has told him to
0:18:40 > 0:18:44"go home, take a few days rest and come back in a fortnight".
0:18:44 > 0:18:48And that - if you'll excuse my French - is total cobblers.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Now I've got a feeling that he has been sagging it with you
0:18:52 > 0:18:53down the allotment. Has he?
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Don't diminish yourself by lying to me, Patrick.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59He's my friend.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02So I'll take that for a yes, then.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08I know he's not well, but there's only so much patience...
0:19:10 > 0:19:11I've had enough.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14I'm going down the bingo!
0:19:24 > 0:19:25What did she want?
0:19:27 > 0:19:28I, erm...
0:19:31 > 0:19:33I think I know what I'm going to do with that money.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Hey, do you mind if I join you?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41# Let me take you by the hand... #
0:19:41 > 0:19:42I heard Ian Beale's doing a turn.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45It's what we're all doing here.
0:19:45 > 0:19:52# I'll show you something to make you change your mind. #
0:19:58 > 0:19:59That was amazing, right?
0:19:59 > 0:20:02I'm just going to go to the toilet. See you in a minute.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07They're still in our bathroom.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09I mean, what on earth are they doing in there?
0:20:09 > 0:20:10Well, go and give 'em a nudge will you?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13We've only got Shrimpy and then they're supposed to be on.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- You all right, Jack? Usual?- Please.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17You all on your own?
0:20:18 > 0:20:19Well, I thought I was.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Well, well, well... What made you change your mind?
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Morbid curiosity. Don't flatter yourself.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29What can I get you to drink?
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Oh, I'll sort myself out, thanks, if that's all right.
0:20:32 > 0:20:33Dry white wine, please.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39I, er... I wrote this for a special someone.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41It's called Intrusion.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45You trespass on my hopes
0:20:45 > 0:20:46Insinuate your soul
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Between the cracks of my broken heart...
0:20:48 > 0:20:50KNOCKING
0:20:50 > 0:20:52How long are you two going to be? Your public are getting restless!
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Right, won't be long, just got to get something.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57- Well, what?- You'll see.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02What?
0:21:02 > 0:21:03The locks are picked
0:21:03 > 0:21:04The bolts withdrawn...
0:21:04 > 0:21:06All right? What are you doing here?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Well, I can't miss Ian's cabaret debut.
0:21:09 > 0:21:10'Chelle's watching the kids.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11How was Bex?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14I'm her dad, ain't I? What do you want me to say?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Did you speak to Mo?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- Every time I call, it goes to voicemail, so I've given up.- Right.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20APPLAUSE
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Do you want a drink?
0:21:21 > 0:21:22No, I'm all right.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Stace, come on. Let me get you a drink.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26Usual?
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Go on, then.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35What on earth are you doing?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Mick, if you could just introduce us, yeah?
0:21:37 > 0:21:38That's a fire hazard! I'll lose me licence!
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Hurry up, will ya? It's hot and heavy!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44APPLAUSE
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Didn't take her long.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50No... No Sharon tonight?
0:21:50 > 0:21:54Er... We're not exactly seeing eye to eye at the moment.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55I'll have an orange juice, please.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Right, ladies and gentlemen. They're the...
0:21:57 > 0:21:59hottest act in London... Er...
0:22:00 > 0:22:04The Queen Vic welcomes Ian Beale, Robbie Jackson.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Turn them lights off... Yeah, come on... Hey...
0:22:06 > 0:22:07APPLAUSE
0:22:10 > 0:22:12MURMURING
0:22:12 > 0:22:17MUSIC: Also Sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss
0:22:17 > 0:22:18Lights, please.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Thank you. Erm...
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Ladies and gentlemen, tonight,
0:22:25 > 0:22:29harnessing the power of now, Robbie Jackson will dispense with
0:22:29 > 0:22:34all fear and negative thoughts, and before your very eyes,
0:22:34 > 0:22:38walk barefoot, feeling no pain,
0:22:38 > 0:22:42across these white-hot, burning coals.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Robbie, are you ready?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Has he gone stark raving mad?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58BUZZES
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Ted!
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Ted, man!
0:23:07 > 0:23:09The light's on, so I know you're in there, y'know.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15I'm assuming you can hear me.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Look, I'm putting an envelope through the door,
0:23:24 > 0:23:26a little something for you,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29and I want you to pick it up straightaway, yeah?
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Just think Australia.
0:23:34 > 0:23:35All right, I'll go. See you soon.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Are you ready to use the power that dwells inside all of us?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Then proceed.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53MUSIC CONTINUES
0:23:58 > 0:24:00What are you trying to do?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Give everybody in here carbon monoxide poisoning, you plum?
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- LAUGHTER - And this moron, third degree burns?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11I knew it would all go wrong without me being down here!
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Right now, I am going back upstairs to watch my "waste of time" telly.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Try not to kill anyone!
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Ow!
0:24:20 > 0:24:21I've got a splinter!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Say one thing for you, Ian - that was memorable.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24LAUGHTER
0:24:30 > 0:24:32DOOR CLOSES
0:24:32 > 0:24:34TV: It's a little bit bent at the end.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- But again...- How much is it marked?- 125.- Gosh.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Did you speak to him?
0:24:39 > 0:24:40No, no...
0:24:41 > 0:24:44..but I dread to think what he's going through, though.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Ah. So you're going to give him all of it, then?
0:24:47 > 0:24:50A man can take this Good Samaritan lark a little too far, you know.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Nah, man.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55I kept 500 smackers for myself,
0:24:55 > 0:24:57so you'd better get your glad rags on, baby -
0:24:57 > 0:24:59we are going to paint the town!
0:24:59 > 0:25:00HE CHUCKLES
0:25:02 > 0:25:04TV IN BACKGROUND
0:25:06 > 0:25:08PHONE CHIMES
0:25:21 > 0:25:22Hey, thanks, baby.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26I thought one of you was taking Bronson for a walk.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- His turn.- Bernie's turn.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29No, it ain't.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I'll take him out.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37I need the exercise.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40And while you're doing that, I'll ring Mum.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Ah, better not tell her I'm here, please.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Bound to find out sooner or later.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Best get it over and done with now.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Oi, dog!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Don't get lost.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Be such a shame if you never came back.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00I'll be 20 minutes, all right?
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Mum? Yeah, don't freak out when I tell you this.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05Promise?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Me and Mitch is back together.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13What? You promised you wouldn't freak out!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17What are you doing, you mangy mutt?
0:26:23 > 0:26:24WOOF!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35So this is where the universe has been leading me, huh?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Nice.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Well, that was an evening that I'll never erase from the memory.
0:26:42 > 0:26:43You going already?
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Yeah, I've got an early start tomorrow.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49You did very well. You barely bored me at all.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- All right, Jack?- All right, mate?
0:26:51 > 0:26:54- What happened to Stace? - She got a phone call.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57She had to go home. Baby-sitting troubles, I think.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Oh.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02No, Mum...
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Well, why do you always have to think the worst of him?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08He has been a long time walking Bronson.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09BRONSON BARKS
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- Me charge is going in my phone, Mum. - Hey!- Hey...- Bronson?!
0:27:12 > 0:27:16He was tied up outside, the railings.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- Your door was open.- How come?
0:27:18 > 0:27:20I dunno. Anyway, he's all right, isn't he?
0:27:20 > 0:27:23- Yeah.- See ya.- Cheers.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- Where's Mitch, eh?- His van's gone.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26What?
0:27:30 > 0:27:32I don't get it.
0:27:32 > 0:27:33- I think I do.- I bet you do.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37This is all your fault.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- Where is she?- Living room.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Why didn't she just ring me?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Her phone's knackered.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Well, what's the matter with her?
0:27:49 > 0:27:50Oh.
0:27:50 > 0:27:53- All right, leave it to me. - Well, you know where I am.
0:27:53 > 0:27:54- Thanks, Michelle.- No worries.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Nan?
0:27:58 > 0:27:59SHE SOBS
0:27:59 > 0:28:00What's the matter?
0:28:00 > 0:28:02- It's Kat.- What about Kat?
0:28:04 > 0:28:05She's dead.