0:00:33 > 0:00:36Nan? That was Martin's.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37I want an armband.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Go and brush your teeth, Lil.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40That flaming door.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Why are you so jumpy?
0:00:42 > 0:00:44It's the shock waves.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46See if them skinflints get the message now.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50Trouble, what you doing? You all right?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Uh, teeth.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57Teeth.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59You all right?
0:01:02 > 0:01:04I just thought I'd come round.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07You know, see if anything needed doing. Is this mine?
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Uh, yeah, it's the grief.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Right, well, I'm just glad I wasn't in it.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17How you getting on with the donations page?
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Well, we're barely over 400 quid.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Hasn't changed since last night.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- We're never going to raise five grand.- In a day.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- A day?- Bel rung when you was in the bath, Kat's coming tomorrow.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Martin, you're clever, help us. - No, Nan, we're fine.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Well, if you need 5K, you're gonna need more than my help, ain't ya?
0:01:33 > 0:01:36So why don't I go and grab as many people as I can and get them round here.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40- No, we've been round the houses. - No, but I'm talking about getting heads together, Stace,
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- you know, coming up with ideas. - Martin, I can handle this.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Let him do it.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I'll take the kids round Carmel's, free you up,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49then I'll go knocking on doors.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Come on, let me help ya, Stace.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59It's about Kat, not me.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Yeah.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03I know that.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11BABY CRIES
0:02:14 > 0:02:17All night. No break.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19- Crying and crying.- What?
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Crying and crying.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Yeah, I was too by 5am.
0:02:27 > 0:02:32We were just minutes away from leaving for our special place.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Which wasn't so special after all.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40- Don't remind me, she's still not talking to me.- Hmm.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45The only way I can make it up to her is by soothing this baby.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Yeah, well, I can help, I've got years of experience.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Tamwar didn't stop crying until he was about 19.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Hmm, but we got there in the end.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57BABY CRIES
0:02:57 > 0:03:01So how long have you got this baby for exactly?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03HE SIGHS
0:03:04 > 0:03:07You all came? I'm proper chuffed.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- As if we wouldn't. - God bless you all.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- SHARON: So where's Dot? - She's lighting more candles.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Right, well, I'll grab her later.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16So what can we do for you, Stace?
0:03:16 > 0:03:23Well, basically Kat is being brought here tomorrow.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25KNOCK AT DOOR
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- She's early.- Why don't you shut up. - Robbie!- I'll get it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Look, I'm really not ready to see her
0:03:32 > 0:03:35if you can even call that seeing her.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- Sorry.- Oh, it's Mr Scotch eggs.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42No, but we've hit a bit of a snag.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Well, actually, it's quite a big one.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Basically, we, erm...
0:03:47 > 0:03:49We can't afford to bury Kat.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54We haven't got the money, and no-one has, so...
0:03:54 > 0:04:00There's just an unmarked pauper's grave just sitting there waiting for her...
0:04:02 > 0:04:07So is there anything anyone can think of to help us, you know, raise the money?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09In a day? As in one day?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- What are you, parrot?- Anyone?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- We ain't at school.- Ian?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- Where are you going to put her when she gets here?- How is that helping?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Well, what I would really love is for her to be here,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25in the front room, in a coffin, with us.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29But we ain't got that cos coffins cost a fortune.
0:04:32 > 0:04:38- Don't grow on trees, you know. - They're made of them, though.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42Look, I've got an appointment to get to, all right. I'm really sorry.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45That's handy, innit?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Hold up, why don't we have a big night in the Vic?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- We've only got tonight, Mick. - So that's the night we do it.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- Well, when you say a big night, what...?- You know, like a do, a thing.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56- We're always having some sort of turn out in there, ain't we? - Tonight's not a good night for me.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Well, we could do karaoke? - Fiver a song.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Oh, it needs to be bigger than that, Whitney.- Well, a tenner, then.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04No, I think what Sharon means is that it's got to be something unmissable.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- You know, we need the Vic rammed. - It's like Kat's guiding you two.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09So, we got the venue. What else do we need?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- We've got the booze. - Well, it's just the food.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Over to you, Ian.- What? No, no, I didn't...- SHIRLEY:- Cheers, Beale.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Nothing better than free nosh.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18There you go, Stace, it's all coming together lovely, eh?
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Let's put our swedes together, let's come up with the greatest show on earth.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Mate, it's Jay from Cokers.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Listen, I might be wrong,
0:05:27 > 0:05:30but you had that woman whose husband pulled through?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34You did! Brilliant.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Yeah, all right, me and my mate will be round in a minute.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38All right, mate. Ta, ta. Bye, bye, bye.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- I'm guessing I'm the mate.- Yep.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44- C'mon then, clock's ticking. Come on!- All right!
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Sharon left that before she went to Dot's.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56- We're going to do this, we are, I promise.- Stace?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- Come on, Stace, read 'em. - All right.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01OK.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07- Paintballing...- In the Vic? - What string said that?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Come on, Stace.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- This is a good one. Meat raffle. - Yeah, I like that one.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Whose idea was that?
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Oh, at school, are we?
0:06:18 > 0:06:21I know a bloke on the market that knows a bloke that knows a bloke.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- What sort of meat? - Well, meat's meat, innit?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- You've seen enough of it. - ROBBIE SNIGGERS
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Read another one, Stace.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29Uh...
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Wet T-shirt competition.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Oh, Walford's Got Talent.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Oh, I love that one! That's a good one, innit?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41- I love that one, yeah.- That was your idea, weren't it?- Maybe.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Any more?- Erm...
0:06:44 > 0:06:48- Do an auction.- Of what though? - Of anything, anything you like.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I mean, I dunno, what about a meal at Ian's restaurant when it opens.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- Yeah, that's cordon bleu cooking. - Fine dining for two. Kushty, yeah.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Bet you my meat makes more money. - Bet you it don't.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Game on. Loser gets a smack in the mouth.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02- Oh, bring it on, Shirl. - All right. Enough, you two.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Anyone else?
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Yeah, me.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09I was up west the other morning and I really needed a wee,
0:07:09 > 0:07:10so I went into this pub.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14It was only like half nine, but they were doing this life drawing class.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Is this, like, going anywhere or...?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Apart from going to the loo?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Well, it was packed.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22What I'm saying is people were paying more than 20 quid to get in.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25So auction what exactly?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Me.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32I'll pose starkers and then people have to buy a ticket tonight,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36and, if they don't, they don't get in to see the class.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Are you sure, Whit? - Yeah, she's sure.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Mo should do it, shouldn't she? - You perv, Beale.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45No, as a tribute for Kat. I mean, it's fitting. Poetic.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47There ain't no poetry in my folds.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49No, it's all right, Whit. I'll do it.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Well, hold up. Let's have a little chat about it, eh?
0:07:52 > 0:07:55No, no, no. I'm comfortable with it. So you can put that up for grabs.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57And I'll tell you what, it's exactly what Kat would've done.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00- She'd have put the goods on show. - What's next, Stace?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Right, last one.
0:08:03 > 0:08:04Uh...
0:08:04 > 0:08:07You ain't getting in unless you're wearing leopard print
0:08:07 > 0:08:09and pay an entry fee.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Yeah, well, you know, the night's about Kat,
0:08:11 > 0:08:15- so should be a sense of her in that, you know.- That's nice. - Mick, that's lovely.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- How much to get in?- Well, I dunno. What, a ching, what?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- How about 50?- Nan!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- IAN:- Look, let's not get carried away here. I mean, we need to let people know.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24We need to sort of like spread the word and advertise it.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Well, Tina's got a bike. You can borrow that. Get round the Square quicker.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- All right, so I'm doing the advertising, the food, a meal? - Give the man a medal.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Calm down, we'll all get involved. We'll get the flyers printed.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- We'll sell it like the royal wedding.- Ian's got a point, though. Can we really do this?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40I mean, aren't we already a little bit too late?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42That's the Dunkirk spirit.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Let's all give up and go jump in the sea.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47I didn't want to do this but I'm begging.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Make an old woman proud, eh?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53- Well, I'm in.- Yeah, same.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- Yeah, no, let's have it, eh, let's have it.- Yeah.- All right. - Thank you all so much.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00The obituary. We've still got time to get it into the Gazette.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01We could spread the word for tonight.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05- Look, we ain't... We ain't even got the money for that.- Oh.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10- Well...- I'm sure I've got something.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12- There's an apple, there. - That's the spirit.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15There you go, there's another little score there.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Oh, look, here you are.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Ready?- Where we going now? - Home delivery.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Can't they come and collect it?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Bend your knees and mind your back.
0:09:28 > 0:09:3140, 45, 50.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33DOORBELL RINGS
0:09:42 > 0:09:44PHONE RINGS
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Shut up you damn thing!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51PHONE RINGS MO SIGHS
0:10:13 > 0:10:16C'mon, keep ticking.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Dunno why I'm even doing this. Kat has never given me the time of day.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24What, you telling me you never...?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Never what?
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Never fancied her?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31What, me and Kat?
0:10:31 > 0:10:36Oh, I reckon you and Kat would have been interesting.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Well, she may have slipped underneath my radar once or twice.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43But you never... You know?
0:10:43 > 0:10:47- No, no, she was with Alfie, obviously!- Right, yeah.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50- And that's the only thing that stopped you, is it?- Yeah.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Yeah, and obviously the fact I'd have to talk to her.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Yeah, that's true, Slaters do go on a bit, don't they?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58There's one way of shutting them up.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59You knew all about that.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Yeah.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Still do.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12But you and Stacey aren't together?
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Well, I mean we are and we aren't.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20Oh, I see, that's why you've been grinning from ear to ear since you got here.
0:11:20 > 0:11:21It was the best ever.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23I mean, I'm buzzing Ian, I'm on fire.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24You ever felt like that?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Yeah. Yeah, course.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32One minute I'm comforting her and then the next...
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- I thought she was devastated? - Yeah, she was. Massively.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38But, I don't know, it must have just sparked something, you know?
0:11:38 > 0:11:41You do know this is not real, don't you?
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Yeah.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Yeah, course.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Don't go making it into something it ain't.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52I'm just saying, I don't want loads of pervs piping at ya.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Well, you didn't mind 20 years ago.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Well, maybe I did and I didn't say anything.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57You know, we were younger then.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Oh. Oh, I get it now.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03- What you're really saying is that you think I'm too old. - Oh, shut up. You look double strong.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06It was all right when everything was perky and I didn't have crow's feet,
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- but now you're thinking that people won't buy tickets. - Why are you twisting it into that?
0:12:10 > 0:12:11Well, tell me that I'm wrong.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15I should be the only person that sees how beautiful, gorgeous and special you are.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19- That's it.- Aw, well, you will when you buy a ticket and a pencil.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Come on, Teen, nearly there, just a few more steps.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29What's that?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Meat.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33- As promised. - Well, what is it? Hippo?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37- You know, a thank you would be nice. - We're going to get a reputation. What if someone eats that and dies?
0:12:37 > 0:12:41- Then we throw another big night for them.- I swear there's a pulse.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Is that the Gazette?
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Can you give me the best price on an obituary?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Careful it might bite.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- Seriously. What is it? - Why don't you ever trust me?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- I don't want to get closed down over this.- That is not a horse.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Did you see any hooves?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20All right, I want to talk to the geezer you got it off.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24- What's his number. - It's a bloke that knows a bloke.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Not a jockey is he? - Oh, will you stop it.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28That is 100% cow.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Or pig.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- What do you reckon?- Oh, Don.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47She would've loved that.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50I just didn't ever think people would be like this.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Well, it's called community and, you know what,
0:13:52 > 0:13:54I'm glad to know it's still around.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57It's going to be heaving in the Vic tonight, you'll see.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Thought I retired from all this.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Retired? Don't you mean fired from all this?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Well, Stace? What do you reckon? Do you like it?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Well, I don't know if like it is the right word,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20but I don't understand, Jay, I ain't got the money.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Well, it's a good job you ain't gotta pay for it then, innit?
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- Ain't someone going to be missing it?- No. A woman's donated it.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Her husband rallied round in the end, so...
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- Can we talk about this later? Only it ain't half heavy. - I'll help, Billy.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Are you sure, Jay?
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Yeah, I mean, I know it ain't the one you'd want, Stace,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38but it's a good'un, you know, 900 quid's worth.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Yeah, and what with this and the donations page,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43you're only going to need three and a half grand.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Well, then I love it.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46If you can love a coffin, that is.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50- Where do you want it, Stace? - Just in the front room please, Bill.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- Here y'are.- Oh, here you are.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- The stand for this is in the funeral parlour, all right?- All right.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Ready?- Ready.- Right.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Thank you.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12BABY SCREAMS
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Come on, Harley, enough's enough, time for a rest, little one.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Try the bottle of milk again.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Hello, handsome, who's this, then?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Oh, he's got some lungs on him.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30We think he's having withdrawal symptoms.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33His mum's an addict. He's got heroin pulsing through his veins.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38- Oh, won't be milk he wants, then. - Mm.- Poor little love.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I'm the same when someone nicks my biscuits.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Yes, I am. Yeah. I'm the same.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- PHONE PLAYS MUSIC - You don't take my biscuits. No.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47BABY STOPS CRYING Shh.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50- Listen.- He's stopped.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Oh, bless him, he's nodded off.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56You see that? That's a woman's touch.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Any time you want more, just give us a whistle.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07- If Mariam asks, I calmed the baby. - Why's that then?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10You saw her yesterday. You saw the rage in her eyes.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Are you sure people are going to want to buy cakes?
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- They're Kat cakes. - Alcohol is banned in this house.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29So, better get rid of it quick.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Shouldn't one of us stay sober?
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Yeah, cos that oven's really dangerous. Just neck it.
0:16:35 > 0:16:40- Shirley, slow down. - Yeah, it's going to end in mayhem.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43You know, Kat weren't my favourite cup of tea,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46but you gotta say this - life was never dull when she was around.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Mm. It's always the lively ones that go first.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Who do you reckon's going to be next?
0:16:51 > 0:16:54What sort of sick question is that, Tina?
0:16:54 > 0:16:57I'm just saying, you know, you can make all the plans in the world,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59but it don't mean a thing when your number's up.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02You know, I was having quite a nice time until you opened your gob.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Well, it ain't me, is it? It's God.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08You know, he looks down and then he points at someone,
0:17:08 > 0:17:11and you never know who he's going to pick next.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Well, hopefully he won't spot us if we're all under the table.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16THEY LAUGH
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- Ain't her colour.- What?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- She'd hate it.- We ain't gotta take it back, have we?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- No, she don't mean it.- I do, Stace.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Look, I know you've got this special idea of what Kat would want,
0:17:35 > 0:17:36but we ain't got a choice.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40It's not her, I know it, and you know it. S'cuse me.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46It's your call, Stace.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47It's staying.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49I'll sort her out.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- Right, well, shall we make a move, then?- Yeah, yeah.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Jay, you're an angel.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58- That's all right, Stace. - Thank you.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00That's all right, don't worry about it.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Do you think we should throw a sheet over it or something?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Hide it from Lil.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Stace?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Come here.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Hey, look, if this is too much...
0:18:25 > 0:18:27No.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29This is going to be the best send-off ever.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Remember, I got him off to sleep.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Mum's the word.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40MASOOD GASPS
0:18:40 > 0:18:41BABY CRIES
0:18:41 > 0:18:43We need Karen.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Arshad is that you?
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Yes, just popped back in for a blanket.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Shhh. Please, please, quiet.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58PHONE RINGS
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Be there, all right? It's gonna be the best party ever.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Here you are.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Thanks.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- Stace...- Martin, I am not going there.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- All right, I've got too much on. - Well, I've not said anything yet.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27- You've been saying it all morning. - Have I?
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Yeah, three little words.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Dot's kitchen table.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34I thought the legs were going to fall off.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Look, it should never have happened.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44Right, I can't even think about me and you right now.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47I don't even know if there is a me and you.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53Yeah, and I didn't expect you to.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55No, I'm just saying, you know, that I get it.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58You don't have to worry about us.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- Grief sex is just that, innit? It's grief sex.- Shh.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Keep your voice down.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05And what makes you think it was grief sex?
0:20:05 > 0:20:09- I mean, what is the difference between that and... - Married sex?- Yeah.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12I think we found out yesterday.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14You're an idiot.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- BABY CRIES - Hey, lungs, it's me.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Yeah, your fave.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Who's a cheeky chappie, eh?
0:20:22 > 0:20:24See, it's not the woman's touch after all.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Oh, just give it time, will you, handsome.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28You know, let me work my magic.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32And would you stop looking down my top when I'm bent over him.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Oi.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Cheeky, cheeky, cheeky choo.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Cheeky, cheeky, choo.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Maybe he needs a fix.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45That's a terrible thing to say. GRIME MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:45 > 0:20:49Oi, oi, Keegan! Keegan!
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- What?- Will you turn that down, will ya?
0:20:54 > 0:20:58MUSIC FADES BABY CRIES
0:20:58 > 0:21:01It's the music, I think he likes the music.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03That's music?
0:21:03 > 0:21:07Keegan, Keegan! Turn it back up!
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- You just said...- Full volume! Now!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Hey!- Ey!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Result. And cheaper than smack.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Fat Elvis, it's me. I'm back in the area.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30What you going to give me for a coffin?
0:21:31 > 0:21:35Brand-new, no previous owner.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Nan?- I'll call you back.
0:21:41 > 0:21:46- What you doing?- Wow, cool! - No, Lily, that's not cool.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- Go and take your coat off. - It's got woodworm.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52STACEY SIGHS Nan, what is it about this coffin?
0:21:52 > 0:21:54It's like it's everyone's funeral.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- She's our Kat, not theirs. - No, Nan.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00She's always going to be ours.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05It's just that, you know, we needed help, and, God love 'em, they delivered.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06It should be our way.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Us Slater girls should be picking out the coffin,
0:22:09 > 0:22:11decking out Kat in the right clothes,
0:22:11 > 0:22:14they don't know her, not like we do.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Well, I'm sorry, Nan, if you think I ain't got it right,
0:22:17 > 0:22:20but I am trying my best.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Here she is. Eating alone. Cute.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Shut up, it's what I do these days.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Yeah, well, you don't have to. I'm here now.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Yeah, well I'm off boys. They're useless. They never show up when they're meant to.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- Well, lucky I'm a man, then.- Cute.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- Maybe if you come back in ten years. - Nah, but seriously...
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Save it, Keegan, I like someone else.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Yeah, but Hunter's got problems.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Just leave him to it.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Problems?
0:23:00 > 0:23:02It's private, man stuff.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Yeah, well, I grew up with Hunter, and we shared everything.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07So spill.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12BABY CRIES
0:23:12 > 0:23:15- You ready?- No.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20MUSIC: From The Outside by Wiley
0:23:20 > 0:23:23# I've been in the wrong system The wrong territory for way too long
0:23:23 > 0:23:25# If I say it's right and I show it to Johnny
0:23:25 > 0:23:27# Looks back at me like it sounds wrong... #
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- I think it's working.- Sorry?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31I said I think it's working!
0:23:31 > 0:23:34# I go macho on people eediat tunes cos really Wiley goes in
0:23:34 > 0:23:37# I'm torn between catering for me and the fans, I'm going mad
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# I only hear my big hits where people go to get tans. #
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- How much are they charging on the door tonight?- Tenner I think.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Can't help but think I missed an opportunity there.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48- Ian!- Well, who was Kat anyway?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50I mean, she's just some loud-mouthed tart,
0:23:50 > 0:23:52I mean, so why's everybody helping her out?
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Didn't do it for me. So what's the difference between me and her?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Well, Stacey probably. And this is for her, Ian.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Surely even you can see that?
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Hunter.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09You going in the Vic later? They're letting anyone in, any age.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Not sure I want to celebrate a dead person.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15I'm not being funny, right, but that's what people should do.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18They should make something of it, don't you think?
0:24:21 > 0:24:22What's that?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27You won't get in without it.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Eh!- They're really hard. - They're rock cakes.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Yeah, that started off as fairy cakes.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46THEY LAUGH
0:24:48 > 0:24:52- Is that the meat for the raffle? - Well, it ain't your dancing partner.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- It's all green round the edges, Shirley.- Nah, it's the light in here.- No, it is green, look!
0:24:56 > 0:24:58There's something wrong with your eyes!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Rest in peace, whatever you are.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05This is the most fun I've ever had when someone died.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07It's only a piece of meat, Teen.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10- I'm talking about Kat.- So am I. - SHARON LAUGHS
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- You're wicked. - You'd've laughed at that one.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Yeah, and then belted you.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18You know, us girls don't get together enough.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21But Kat's made that happen today and we should honour that.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23So tonight we're going to be getting our slap on,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26we're going to be rubbing in a vat of fake tan,
0:25:26 > 0:25:27and we're going to channel Kat Moon
0:25:27 > 0:25:31until every pocket, purse and wallet is empty.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- Woo! Cheers!- To Kat. - Cheers.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- So we're keeping the coffin? - Well, yeah, we'll have to, Nan.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39It's 900 quid's worth.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- KNOCK AT DOOR - Who's that?
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Why are you so jumpy? Are you expecting someone?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Not me, love.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54- Mum?- Martin called me. I came as soon as I could.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Well, I was going to phone you, it's just been a bit hectic.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59The train was packed, then it was delayed,
0:25:59 > 0:26:01then this great, big, fat man sat on me.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Said he couldn't see me. - Oh, it's all right, you're here now.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Well, how could he not see me? - Why don't you just take your coat off, Mum?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09World's gone mad, Stacey, there's too many people in it.
0:26:09 > 0:26:14- And there's one less now.- Mo? When did you get here?
0:26:14 > 0:26:17- Few days ago. - Stace, I dunno what to say.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Well, there isn't really anything to say.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Well, actually, there's plenty. That's the reason why I came.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Only Martin said that Kat's dead. He was joking, wasn't he?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Well, that's a bit of a rotten joke, Mum.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Well, why's he saying it?
0:26:30 > 0:26:34- Why do you think? - What, he really thinks it?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Well, yes, we all do.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39- Oh, that's madness. - Talking of which.- Well, it is.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Cos I only spoke with her earlier.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45She's not dead.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47What?